Listen, V-Day is right around the corner, and if you don’t have something special planned, I have a few words for you: $250. Non-toxic paint. Canvas. Fucking. Art. Wow!

A month after Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney appeared in a postcoital paint-smeared mirror selfie on the cover of V Magazine, New York artist Alexander Esguerra and his Love and Paint kit are back in the blogosphere with some entertaining photographs of non-famous people who have nonetheless managed to have a comparably chaotic sexual experience.

Advertisement

The $250 kit includes a cotton canvas, three jars of organic body paint, a protective tarpaulin, terrycloth slippers and a paintbrush. (Searing memory of your partner’s two front teeth obscured by red paint not included.)

Esguerra, whose kit began as an art exhibition called “It’s Just Sex,” told New York Daily News last year that couples “should have fun with the paint but not make it all about the paint.” Yeah, please, you guys? Don’t make it all about the paint.

From the website:

Each couple, covered in paint, behind closed doors, has engaged each other on a blank canvas – creating the art that will be displayed in their home. The couples’ bodies are the literal brushes within their act of connection. The work features powerful, large-scale skin-safe acrylic-on-canvas pieces created by lovers from all walks of life. Each pairs’ sexual experience paints a unique canvas. Their labels are lost in the paint. Sex returns to its rawest form, representing two people’s expression of emotion.

Damn.


Contact the author at ellie@jezebel.com.

Top image via V Magazine/Taylor Kinney; second image via screengrab/Love and Paint.