In today’s Pissing Contest, we’re talking about our worst encounters with bugs. (Thanks to reader Chad for the suggestion!) “But that’s a spider in the lede photo,” you’re probably saying. “Spiders aren’t insects!” CAN IT, you annoying nerd! We’re talking about horrifying experiences with creepy-crawlies and spiders—for our purposes—certainly count!

Here are some good (read: horrifying) bug stories from the Jezebel staff.

Ellie:

“I got a bee in my swimsuit when I was in 3rd grade and my mom ripped my swimsuit off me in front of EVERYONE.”

Kelly:

“I have a vivid memory of my mom getting into some fireants while picking blackberries and just stripping naked right there in the dirt road.”

Joanna:

“I went to bermuda with my mom and my sister and there was a thunderstorm and palmetto bugs kept crawling out of the walls. That was real trauma.”

Joanna, again:

“I also got dengue fever from a mosquito, which is not a bad bug but dengue fever is a bad outcome.”

Counterpoint: Mosquitos are the worst bug.

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Emma:

“I found a 4-inch house centipede that had been terrorizing me for weeks after I heard it shuffling behind a framed photo at night and when I killed it, my own blood smeared across the wall.”

Also Emma:

“We found a chained-up room literally full of “halloween crabs” while in a disgusting hostel in Costa Rica and when we cracked open the door, we heard them all move in a wave away from the light. It sounded like a rainstick.”

Yes, we’re counting crabs as “sea bugs.”

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Now quit “bugging” me with your silence! It’s time to talk about our worst experiences with insects!


Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.

Image via Arachnophobia/Buena Vista Pictures.