On the May cover of Vogue, Taylor Swift comes one step closer to revealing that she and Karlie Kloss are actually twins grown in the same Reptoid super-womb, but that’s not the real story here! The real story is that the interview (written by sports writer Jason Gay) was conducted during her hometown best friend’s wedding, giving readers an unintentionally bleak glimpse into what it’s like to be a non-famous friend to the global superstar.
It’s fair to say that Taylor Swift is the most recognizable and distracting presence where ever she goes (including—or especially—at a wedding in Reading, Pennsylvania) and that, barring a face swap (the Reptilians could help with that), there’s not a lot she can do about it. But is it also fair to say that bringing a Vogue-profiler to nuptials that aren’t yours so that they can focus on you and not the bride and groom is a little bit insane and very rude?
We can safely assume that Taylor and her best friend Britany discussed the interview prior to the wedding (Taylor was maid of honor, after all), and that the bride gave permission, but still, this sounds insane:
At 26, Swift is world famous, wealthy, critically celebrated, a style influencer, and a cultural movement unto herself, recognizable everywhere she goes. She also has two awesome cats.
And yet today, in this chapel atop a hill in Reading, Pennsylvania, Swift is none of those things. She is the maid of honor at the wedding of her childhood friend Britany Maack.
Except, no, she’s still all those things:
I’m not saying the people in this church aren’t aware that Scott and Andrea’s kid turned into, you know, Taylor Freakin’ Swift—it’s hilarious to watch the flower girls try to keep it together, and the nuns seem pretty jazzed, too—but that’s not the story today. Britany and Ben are. And the only evidence that the maid of honor is you-know-who is the paparazzi who have gathered at the bottom of the hill, hoping to snag a photo with their long lenses.
And, of course, there’s the fact that Britany and Ben have a Vogue profiler at their wedding, solely because the maid of honor is Taylor Freakin’ Swift.
“But that kind of happens everywhere,” she says. The wedding ceremony has finished—Britany and Ben made it official to applause—and Swift and I have huddled downstairs at the church during a break before the reception.”
Later on, there will be cake. Later on, there will be dancing, those flower girls getting a story that is going to totally blow their classmates’ minds at school on Monday. Later on, the wedding band will entice Swift to the stage, where she will sing “Shake It Off” for her childhood friend on her wedding night and an audience that for the first time in history isn’t waving 10,000 smartphones in her face. The night—the whole weekend—is storybook warm.
What a beautiful night for Taylor! And, presumably, the bride and groom (whatever their names were!), too!
Image via Vogue/Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott.