• Amy Winehouse was supposedly in the hospital because she was sick, but now her dad says:

"It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little [pointing to his chest] leaky something or other." All together now: What kind of fuckery is this? [The Sun]

• Mariah Carey is supposed to turn on the Christmas lights at a shopping mall in London, and has asked for 20 white kittens and 100 white doves as well as confetti shaped like butterflies to shower her after she emerges from a Rolls-Royce driven on a pink carpet to a podium where she will wave a wand to turn on the lights. A source says: "We did manage to source the doves that we were going to release into the sky, but the kittens proved terribly difficult. In the end, it was made clear that due to health and safety, there was no way we could have the animals." [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt declined an invitation to the October 31 Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates — even though he was offered $5 million to attend. He went trick-or-treating with his kids instead. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Levi Johnston "made a big show" of sitting in first class. [Page Six]
• Kirsten Dunst is windswept on the cover of Allure, and inside she says that she and ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal do not keep in touch: "It would be nice to see him," she says. "But we're not good friends." [Us Magazine via Allure]
• In this Q&A, Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke talks about casting Robert Pattinson as Edward, the "electricity" between Rob and Kristen Stewart when they auditioned for her, the sexytimes the cast got into ("You have this hot, young cute sexy cast and you're out of town at hotels. It's going to happen") and her encouraging RPattz to work out: "He's a Brit and they hit the pubs all the time. They don't look too kindly to gyms." She also says that when he first got cast, there were pix of him out and looking like a slob, and fans of the book were upset that he was Edward Plus: "One day he came to me and said, I got this email forwarded to me about how revolting I am. I said, Rob, you cannot read these things. Don't torture yourself. And he said, I didn't. My mother forwarded that to me." [Time]
• Robert Pattinson was at a signing, where "you kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?'" So then: "[A fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like um, just take your clothes off." What do you think happened? "She stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible." [People]
• Is Nicolas Cage broke because of bad judgment? Or because he lived in a house with bad juju? The manager Cage sued in October countersued last week, claiming he warned Cage not to buy castles in England and Bavaria and that Cage ignored him. The guy claims he told Cage he would need to earn $30 million a year to maintain his lifestyle. But! Cage once owned the notorious LaLaurie House in New Orleans, where a doctor and his wife tortured slaves. According to legend, "Many people have lived there since, but every inhabitant moved out within months or suffered tragedy and death." [Page Six]
• Oprah Winfrey's sit-down with Sarah Palin was the highest rated Oprah show in two years… since the entire Osmond family appeared in 2007. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Victoria Beckham Loves Sex and Salad, Not Burgers." [Us Magazine]
• Asked if she prefers sleep or sex in an interview with Allure, Posh responded: "Sex! I'm getting into bed with David Beckham every night, so, you know, there'd be something wrong if I said 'sleep.'" [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift is suing a sports bar for using her music without permission. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson's label is putting a lot of effort and cash into promoting her greatest hits album, because they quietly signed her to a new contract next month. [Gatecrasher]
• Leighton Meester needs a doctor who makes house calls. Don't we all? [Gatecrasher]
• Carrie Prejean has been asking Donald Trump for advice; he suggests: "she should become a major porn star, make millions of dollars, and give it to worthy causes." [Page Six]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is dating author Coerte Felske, a "handsome blond," who will be in Real Housewives Of NYC. [Page Six]
• Will Ferrell is Hollywood's most overpaid star, thanks to Land Of The Lost, which cost $100 million and made "only" $65 million. Surely he is trapped in a glass box of emotion right now. [Reuters]
• Brad Whitford, guitarist in Aerosmith, thinks Steven Tyler might be on something: "I suspect there's a lot more going on than we know about. He has a well-documented history of drug abuse, and I find myself very suspicious. I haven't seen him do this or ... have any personal knowledge, but the isolation is very typical of addictive behavior, and his — what I call — irrational behavior." [Reuters]
• Shaquille O'Neal is curating his first art show, titled 'Size DOES Matter.'" [Page Six]
• 50 Cent has opted for tattoo removal. "I took 'em off," he says. I've been on a few acting projects and they been making me get up… My call time is four hours before the regular acting talent because of the tattoos. I've got a project I'm supposed to be doing with Nicolas Cage, called The Dance, it's a boxing film… when you're a fighter you're sweating and with a whole bunch of make-up on and stuff like that, it doesn't look real to me." [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Hudson will play Winnie Mandela in an upcoming film; she says: "I was compelled and moved when I read the script. Winnie Mandela is a complex and extraordinary woman, and I'm honored to be the actress asked to portray her." Of course, she will also do what she does best: Sing the flick's theme song. [Gatecrasher via Variety]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place gave the ratings a small boost, so she'd better not end up dead in the pool. [NY Post]
• Sherri Shepherd and MVP are so on. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis has tax problems. Serious tax problems. The IRS wants $33,819,087.14 [TMZ]
• Wait, Faye Dunaway owes $1920 in back rent? How much is her rent? How many months is that? [TMZ]
• Hamish Hamilton, who directed the MTV Video Music Awards, will direct the 2010 Academy Awards. Kanye's gonna let him finish… [MSNBC Scoop]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor is okay, her husband insists. "My wife is not dying — it is ridiculous… he gets all the tabloids and she sees the things and she just smiles. She says, 'Tell them I'm still alive.'" [ET]
• "[I decided to do the Tonight Show because of] how shitty it is just trying to develop comedy right now. How dumb ideas are seeming to be rewarded. How a lot of the networks seem to have basically thrown in the towel on comedy and said ‘We just basically don't know what we're doing or what works,' and we just kind of have more stuff where the dad's kind of a jerk, the mom knows best, and everybody just kind of insults each other for half an hour and at the end everybody says they love each other and tune in next week for it all to start again." — Andy Richter. [NY Mag]
• "I was always aware of acting. I remember watching movies on TV when I was young, thinking, 'Oh, come on, that isn't acting.'" — John Malkovich. [Spectator]
• "I've never seen it and nor will I ever. It's a cult. I don't believe in it." — Miley Cyrus, on Twilight. [MSNBC]
• "After we were done, I was like, 'Wow, America is so poor. Just the towns you come across — all that's there are restaurants and gas stations. There are beautiful stretches of pasture, but for the most part, people live simply. The East and West Coast are so different from the rest of America." — Kirsten Dunst and a friend took an "eye-opening cross-country road trip. [Us Magazine via Allure]
• "Having a girlfriend is like playing whiffle ball. Being married is the war in Iraq." — Jerry Seinfeld. [Page Six]
• "There are females doing it, theatrical and a bit over the top. Lady Gaga, Pink, Christina Aguilera — they all put on a show in the spirit of Madonna, dressing up and creating a theme. But there hasn't been a guy do it for a while. In the '70s and '80s there were a lot of artists that did it but for some reason it kind of fizzled out." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert. [Reuters]
• "That image to me seemed really striking and kind of wild. I felt I looked almost inhuman. It was that whole David Bowie-Ziggy Stardust thing where you think he is an alien. It is a weird image and I liked that it was weird. I am weird. I'm nice. But I'm weird. Maybe eccentric is a better word. I'll pick that label." — Glambert, on his album cover. [Reuters]
• "It's funny because Spanish people have no problem with nudity at all… And English people obviously do have the most enormous problem with it. Little things, like when I saw my father getting changed for swimming, I was traumatized by it… I kind of freaked out a bit. [I would get naked for a role but] I think it would depend on what it is. And I don't think a lot of people would really want to see that. I think it would ruin the illusion!" — Robert Pattinson. [NY Daily News]
• "Luke and I are engaged and we'll get married when I want to. But he isn't even 21 yet, so he can't drink in America, so what's the point in getting married until he can?" — good point, Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]

• Could Michael Lohan go to jail for the phone calls he's been leaking?

Apparently Dina Lohan has had a protective order since 2005 — and it bans Michael Lohan from communicating with Dina by email or phone through 2011. One of the calls is supposedly from 2008, meaning Michael definitely violated the order. [TMZ]

• A "source" on Nicole Kidman's face at the Country Music Awards: "She looked freakish; She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dating! Director Catherine Hardwicke says so! But she says: "It didn't happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film," since KStew was 18. Now that she's 19, it's on! TWILIGHT IS REAL ZOMG SPARKLEVAMP 4EVA BITE ME. [Us]
• Because he is awesome, Johnny Depp has offered to take care of Nicolas Cage's debts. Apparently Johnny was a struggling musician when he met Nic in the '80s, and Nic sent Johnny to his agent, who cast Johnny in Nightmare On Elm Street. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston had his Playgirl shoot yesterday, which involved a hockey stick and, naturally, nudity. Levi's manager Tank Jones says: "The shoot was fantastic! People are going to see more of Levi than they thought." Grrrreat. There's another shoot today; may we suggest a moose-skin rug? Or an igloo? [Us]
• Levi Johnston says he sees his upcoming memoir becoming a movie. "I would play myself," he says, naturally. [Gatecrasher]
• As previously mentioned, Chris Brown went to a Footaction store on Wednesday, and was heckled. A woman shouted, "I hope someone beats the fucking shit out of you!" Today Chris will be on Wendy Williams saying he's been "perceived wrong" and I'm definitely remorseful, and it's not something that I take lightly or think that it's, like, under the rug." [Page Six]
• Before the Country Music Awards, Wynonna Judd said Taylor Swift's nomination for Entertainer Of The Year was "too much too soon… I want kids to earn it." But now she says: "My intent was not to take anything from her talent and contributions to the country music industry… Taylor is a beautiful, hard working young woman that deserves the success she has had and I support her as an artist and as a woman in the business." Sure, sure. [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen has hurt her foot after falling while carrying a suitcase down a flight of stairs. [The Sun]
• DVR alert: Kathy Griffin will be on Law & Order SVU. [TV Guide]
• Balloon Dad Richard Heene turned himself in yesterday and was released on a $5000 bond. [ET]
• Richard Heene will plead guilty to felony charges, his lawyer claims. Mayumi Heene will plead guilty to false reporting to authorities — a misdemeanor. Is there a law against making everyone worry? [NY Post]
• Amy Winehouse is working with a Miami-based producer on her third record, but her visa issues keep her from traveling. [The Sun]
• If you would like to see a mug shot of Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, click the link. He's a former model who took a photograph he found in Cindy's nanny's room, and the pic shows Cindy's daughter bound and gagged for a "prank." [TMZ]
• Nadya Suleman would like for you to know that she is a competent mother. [Us]
• Some guy is auctioning off Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage certificate from when they tied the knot in the Dominican Republic in 1994. The names Jackson + Presley = ca$h. [Perez]
• 20-year-old Daniel Radcliffe smoked pot and a party and it is "news." [Mirror]
• Geena Davis has gained weight and it is "news." [NY Daily News]
• Whoa — Emmy Rossum met Adam Duritz via Twitter? [People]
• BREAKING: Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent are no longer pissed at each other. [Page Six]
• Rumors abounded but now it's official: Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are expecting their first child. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, David Beckham talks about playing with the LA Galaxy today, which means missing an England vs. Brazil game. [Guardian]
• Lil' Kim is being sued for $20,000 by British club promoters who claim she accepted money but then did not appear at an event, saying she had a nosebleed. No, really. [NY Post]
• Aerosmith's management reportedly asked Steven Tyler to perform in a wheelchair. "I just wouldn't do it," Tyler told Rolling Stone. Not even if you were contractually obligated to do the gig and hurt yourself acting crazy on stage? Hmm. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Tori Amos' fantasy band would have Janis Joplin on vocals, Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, Bootsy Collins on bass and Zeppelin's John Bonham on drums. [Independent]
• In "10 Questions For Tony Hawk," the skateboarder says: "I don't want to name names. I'm just saying many Olympic sports require less physical effort and less talent than skateboarding." [Time]
• Chris Mann wrote the Three's Company tell-all book Come and Knock on Our Door, and served as consulting producer on NBC's behind-the-scenes movie about Company. On his blog, he writes that before John Ritter died, he was asked about Suzanne Somers' supposed breast cancer, and Ritter said: "We don't know if Suzanne has cancer or not, because she lies." [Retroality.tv]
• Jon & Kate is being replaced by Cake Boss, a show that seems super scripted but still pretty funny. And unlike those weird "challenge" cake shows, the cakes actually look edible and delicious. [NY Post]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor has tax problems. Will she have to move to the country and live on a farm with a pig named Arnold? Oh wait. That was Eva. Anyway, Bernard Madoff is to blame for this. [TMZ]
• Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009 airs December 19, and will feature the best holiday sketches from the show's 35-year history. [NY Post]
• TMZ lifted images from Radar Online. [Page Six]
• The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit, with Josh Brolin instead of John Wayne. [NY Daily News]
• "Look, I really am the last British actor who's not in any of the Harry Potter films. I was looking for something I could do that would make me cool in the eyes of my daughter." — Michael Sheen, of Frost/Nixon and, more importantly, New Moon. He also says: "I had to say to my daughter, 'I heard someone talking about this character Aro in these books. Do you know anything about that?' And she said, 'Yes, he's the leader of the Volturi and he reads people's minds. Are you playing him?' Of course I said, 'no, no, no'. When it was all worked out, she cried. Then she hit me." [Independent]
• It feels weird to do interviews because I don't understand why anyone wants to talk to me. There were all these other guys in high school that were bigger, funnier, and more handsome than I was, so why do you care about what I have to say? You should ask them." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I'm not aware of any fans. I do nothing to live in secrecy, but I really don't get recognized anywhere. Though I was walking my dog recently when someone yelled, 'Hey, Jason!' They said it so sweetly that I turned around and said, 'Hey!' Then they said, 'Fuck you, you asshole!' and drove away." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I had friends growing up, but I struggled to feel like I really fit in. If I was invited to a party, I would just end up sitting on a couch or standing in a corner by myself. But it wasn't like I was getting beat up or anything. I wish I had gotten beaten up, because at least that would've justified why I felt so homesick all the time, even though I was home." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "Susan Boyle is a lovely gracious woman, and I took advantage of that by poking fun at her." — Sharon Osboune, who, a week ago, said SuBo looked like she'd been hit by a "fucking ugly stick." [NY Post]
• We were disappointed, but we understand. He's only 1. But we were in Alaska and have plenty of footage of Trig." — Barbara Walters wanted to have Sarah Palin's grandson Trig in the studio, but he has a cold and couldn't make it. [Page Six]
• "It's disgusting that people would say those things. My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady. There's gonna be a time when I'm way curvier, and that'll be sexy, too." — Ashlee Simpson is tired of people calling Jessica Simpson fat. Ashlee also says her husband loves her body:"Pete isn't worried about stretch marks," she says. "He always makes me feel good." [Gatecrasher]
• "I have half-a-dozen close friends and Mariah is among the dearest. I flatter myself that the relationship is reciprocal: Mariah and I share a strong, sisterly friendship. She signs off all her letters to me with the affectionate endearment: 'Your sis, M.' Though she is stupendously rich and I am relatively poor, it is a friendship of equals. She visits me in my small home; I am a frequent guest at her various mansions and holiday villas all over the world." — from a piece written by a former MTV host who stayed friends with Mariah Carey after meeting her through work. [Daily Mail]
• "There are so many young girls wearing too much makeup, too much hairspray — I find that very dated." — Victoria Beckham. [Gatecrasher via Harper's Bazaar UK]

• Why do Kate Winslet and husband Sam Mendes usually fly on separate planes?

Back in 2001, Sam Mendes was booked on American Airlines flight 77 from Washington to L.A., the one hijacked and crashed into the Pentagon. His plans changed, so he never got on the plane, but Kate Winslet also had a terrorist air-scare in 2001. Now Sam and Kate prefer to fly separately, fearing that if they don't, they will leave their children orphans. [Daily Mail]

• By the by, Kate Winslet says: "There's always going to be a part of me that worries about not looking as slim as other actresses." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger won a SAG award last night. [NY Daily News]
• So you know how Lily Allen just broke up with that 45-year-old dude? Right after, she said: "I think, 'This is someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with.' But I cannot face having bad sex." [Mirror]
• Here's more on the Prince Harry/Chelsy Davy breakup: This paper calls her a "flighty blonde," but a source says: "Chelsy's heart is with her family and Africa. She comes from a relaxed family with different values and a completely different lifestyle from the royals. This is what Harry loves about her. The irony is that ultimately this is why they can never be together for ever. She has often told her friends she will never marry him not only because she doesn't, ultimately, want to live in England but also because she doesn't want the attention that comes with dating a royal. She wants a normal life." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile: Princess Eugenie and some friends got drunk at a pole dancing club and the Princess asked if she could try the pole. (She was denied.) [Daily Mail]
• Oh and by the by, Prince William bought Kate Middleton some deer shooting paraphernalia, including a Swarovski stalking scope. She's looking forward to "bagging her first set of Royal antlers." [Daily Mail]
• Rumor has it Hugh Jackman will do a big opening musical number at the Oscars! [Fox 411]
• Whoa: Will Brad Pitt play Steve McQueen? (Brad says: "Nope.") [Extra]
• Does Anderson Cooper fly in the front while his "friend," an "attractive Hispanic man," flies in the back of the plane? [Page Six]
• Drew Barrymore was promoting her romcom, He's Just Not That Into You, when she said she'd love to bring an old butt-kicking franchise back to life: "I’m so into it—Charlie's Angels III!" [E!]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil might try to use a love letter Amy wrote to him to get her money in divorce proceedings. In the letter, Amy said she'd write albums especially for Blake Incarcerated; he's expected to argue that it means he's entitled to half of her estimated $15 million earnings. [People, Daiy Mail]
• Are Kirsten Dunst and Josh Hartnett back on? [Extra]
• In this Q&A, Matthew Fox talks about why you never see him lending his name to any causes: "I'm an actor. I try to play a character in a really cool story, the very best I can. And somehow or other that does make people very interested in what I have to say. And I think that, being the stubborn bastard I am… the more people want to hear what it is I have to say, the more I kind of… not say anything." [Men.Style.Com via Details]
• Paramedics were called to the home of Amy Poehler and Will Arnett this weekend, maybe because Amy's mom had a health scare? [TMZ]
• Warning: Russell Brand is thinking about giving up sex. [The Sun]
• A reporter tells Rumer Willis she looks a little like her dad. "She shrieks and grimaces, covering the lower part of her face with her hands: 'I hate my jaw!' she says. [Daily Mail]
• What is going on in the Bahamas? Pleasant Bridgewater, a senior in Parliament, has just resigned. Obie Wilchcombe, a former "close friend" of John Travolta and family  and member of Bahamaian Parliament  was taken into custody regarding an extortion plot. Wilchcombe has been released, but a third person, and EMT who tried to revive Jett Travolta, is sill in custody. [TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, Us]
• Wilchcombe says he had nothing to do with the extortion plot. [TMZ]
• Mickey Rourke hasn't seen The Wrestler  and won't, for a while: "I don't watch anything until three, four, five years go by. I see myself every day in the mirror when I'm shaving. I don't get anything from it." [Extra]
• Samantha Morton says she'll boycott the BBC if the corporation won't broadcast an emergency appeal for help in Gaza. Morton took part in a fundraiser for the British Aid Agency Medical Aid for Palestinians. [The Star]
• Paul McCartney might wed his girlfriend, Nancy Shevell. One might think he'd had enough of marriage… [NY Daily News]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps has a book coming out: Class With the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair. Will tips on crotch-grabbing and landing a reality show be included? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which nymphette actress had a really, really swell time in rehab, and has been telling pals that she 'got laid there' all the time?" [Gatecrasher]
• A prop manager from Lipstick Jungle stole $30,000 worth of designer clothes and accessories, but got caught when a limited-edition bag was seen on eBay. [Gatecrasher via Perez]
• Sayonara! Janet Jackson has postponed her tour in Japan due to the global financial crisis. [Internation Herald Tribune]
• Chris Martin gave a lovely lady, Brit singer Alesha Dixon, a ride home. In his private jet. [Daily Mail]
• Wall Street woes mean celeb houses in the Hamptons are going for slashed prices. [NY Post]
• The Jolie-Pitt mansion in Malibu will be up for sale soon, by the way. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Cool interview with Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss. She says of the show: "Everyone who saw it was like, 'They're SMOKING! They're SMOKING!' No one noticed they were cheating on their wives." [Guardian]
• Psst: Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen are planning a hush-hush wedding. [People]
• Patrick Dempsey competed in a car race which raises money for breast cancer, and has also opened the Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope and Healing in Maine. [UPI]
• In a Q&A with Lauren Graham, she talks about doing Guys & Dolls on Broadway; a Gilmore Girls movie (not gonna happen) and a new comedy she'll star in, in which she plays "a self-help guru who is truly a mess." [EW]
• Anne Hathaway Googles herself. [Showbiz Spy]
• David and Victoria Beckham have hired two people to clean their mansion in the country, and the couple are named David and Victoria. [Showbiz Spy]
• Hmm, AC Milan is hoping David Beckham will stay with the team. Ciao, Hollywood? [Independent]
• Natascha McElhone made her first official public appearance since the death of her husband last year, and was carrying her newborn son, Rex. [Daily Mail]
• Tommy Lee was seen hanging out with model Victoria Silvstedt  and she had bandages on her knees. What does it mean? [Daily Mail]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy won't strike back at South Park, and that the Family Guy scripts are written by sperm whales. [TMZ]
• Three's a crowd? Cockblocker George Michael went out with Geri Halliwell and her new Italian boyfriend. [Daily Mail]
• Elle Macpherson is dating a multi-millionaire British businessman named Damian Aspinall. [News.com.au]
• Holy femmebot! Kylie Minogue is mega-Photoshopped in her new ads for jewelry company Tous. [Daily Mail]
• Oh dear: Zsa Zsa Gabor lost at least $7 million by investing with Bernard Madoff, the man who's been making the incredibly wealthy merely rich. [UPI, MSNBC]
• Boy George has been moved to a "softer" prison. Is it made of toilet tissue? [Mirror]
• Ladies and gentlemen, an Iron Maiden hotel. [UPI]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver was asked to rate his looks on a scale from 1-10. He says: "About six and a half. It’s not really about the face, though. I think it’s more about what’s in my trousers, to be honest – apart from cooking, that’s the thing I’ve got going for me and a lot of women say it’s enough." [Mirror]
• "Patsy is a figure of nostalgia, doing everything we daren’t do because of our obligations to our families and society. I have turned into a school prefect now but, much as i love my life, i sometimes think i’d like to skip classes and smoke cigarettes in the duck-house again. I could have been Patsy if i hadn’t turned out to be me."  Absolutely Fabulous' Joanna Lumley. [Daily Express]
• "When you're younger, you're always working for something, and now you realize, this is really it. You'd better be enjoying this, because this is pretty good."  Julianne Moore, who is on the cover of Redbook. [People]
• "I can’t stand Angelina and all her babies. Maddox probably thought he hit the jackpot, but then Angelina proceeded to take him to every other Third World country on the planet. He’s probably like. 'Bitch, when the (bleep) are we getting to Malibu?'"  Chelsea Handler. [Gatecrasher]
• "I swear that my waist is now skinnier than before I was pregnant — how do they do that? Certainly it’s nothing to do with me working out. Jerry Bruckheimer [Shopaholic’s mega-successful producer] hired a personal trainer to help me get rid of the 60lb I put on during pregnancy. He said I was lucky I was blessed with good genes because I had a really bad attitude towards exercise — like stopping when it hurt or got boring and having a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Apparently you are not supposed to do that in Hollywood."  Isla Fisher. [Times of London]
• "I think there's something to be said for looking more natural on film. A perfect physique is unattainable for most women who can't hire personal trainers or who don't have the time or inclination to spend two hours a day working out."  Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]
• "My grandparents didn't take any pills, and they were fine. Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a fucking pansy."  Bijou Phillips, Scientologist. [Us via Paper Magazine]