I like that the detailing on Anna Kendrick's dress can double as a deterrent to close-talkers.


Here's the thing: doesn't Dana E. Glauberman's dress defeat any and all purposes of having sleeves? But to each her own.


Do you think director Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker) deliberately matched the fall of her necklace to the slit in her skirt? Or is it serendipitous?


Tippi Hedren looks Melanie Daniels pulled-together. (Pre-birds, I mean.)


Diane Kruger can wear flats and a jumpsuit. This is the sort of thing a fairy gifts you with in the cradle.


Zoe Saldana's really running with the whole futuristic thing. In this case, futuristic bombshell!


Susan MacLeod is a special effects supervisor. Which is maybe how she supervised the theft of this Klimt.


Nikki Reed needs the jacket to tone down the blinding brilliance of her frock. It's like looking at the sun.


Her bracelet strikes me as confusing, but given that Zooey Deschanel I'm going to go ahead and assume it's actually adorable.


Well. It wouldn't be a Hollywood event without Kat Kramer propping up the red carpet. And by "wouldn't" I mean, "would."

[Images via Getty]

Charlize Theron just auctioned off a kiss for some insane sum. This sort of vixen costume is appropriate kissing-booth wear.


Hilary Swank is drawn like a moth to the flame to Loehmann's Back-Room Dowdy.


Carey Mulligan's bird of paradise is rendered a tad unflattering by these divisive shoes.


And speaking of the avian... Shannen Doherty should really learn that 5 pounds of plumage around the waist is less than attractive.


Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe's gorgeous, regal gown is set off perfectly by the unexpected pop of the necklace. She must have known she was going to be front and center accepting an award!


AnnaLynne McCord has apparently been raiding Nancy Reagan's rag bag again.


Still don't know how I feel about the combination of giant shoulders and tiny hair that's all the crack. Do know that Julianne Moore looks lovely in peach.


Zachary Quinto's retro shantung is appropriately Spock-ish.


It's too bad Maria Bello's frock is so sack-like, because I am prepared to love anything sleeved and easy.


Kate Beckinsale will not let the red carpet faux-hawk die. Whatevs, it's working with this slick LBD.


Diane Kruger sports a gown that, if anyone wore it as a wedding dress, would be the cause of sadness and confusion to the future daughter who looked at the wedding albums. (Note: a black dress belonging to the groom's ex-girlfriend also has this effect on a young daughter. Not that I would know or anything.


Even by Zooey's usual cutie-pie, mod standards, this is both very cutie-pie and very mod.

[Images via Getty]

• Kate Gosselin says that though Jon Gosselin called the breeder and had their two family dogs taken away, "They'll come back I'm sure at some point. But for now, I just needed a break."

• She explained: "He called the breeder and took them back for a short period of time. I'm feeling like I have not enough time to take care of my kids, let alone give the dogs what they need, and the kids surprisingly weren't that upset about it." Kate added that she's amazed by the strength of the dogs saying, "They sleep in a metal crate... a huge metal crate. They bent the bars and got out. I think in the winter I'm going to have them pull the kids in a sleigh." [Radar Online]
• On last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin took her kids to an Amish farm, then took her daughter Cara to the radiologist to get her foot scanned. Jon did not appear on the episode and Kate said, "It feels very normal to be here by myself, to take care of the kids not with Jon but with a babysitter... It's starting to feel like the pity party is gone." [People]
• Here's one way to combat bullying: Amy Winehouse showed up at a school in London and spit on and insulted a girl she heard was bullying her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield. After a bystander broke up the incident Amy signed a few autographs and left. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse has started working with Mark Ronson again on her third album. Rapper Lethal Bizzle says, "I was talking to Mark about Amy. He thinks she's getting better and they are working together and will start recording soon. Everything he does is awesome. I think he's brilliant and was excited when he wanted to work on my album. Me and Amy go way back too. We did gigs when I was in a band called More Fire Crew. She was proper cool. I reckon it will be another great album." [The Sun]
• A YouTube video of Beyonce singing "Halo" to 11-year-old cancer patient Chelsea James in Australia has gone viral. Watch it here: [News.com.au]
• Kelly Osbourne reportedly broke down in tears before her performance on Dancing With the Stars last night because she got nervous and texted her mother Sharon, but security wouldn't let her in. "Sharon didn't have the proper credentials," says a source from the show. "Ever since last season's scare with Shawn Johnson and her stalker, security has been beefed up big time." [Perez Hilton]
• Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman's play A Steady Rain was one of the top three earners on Broadway last week. It's rare for a non-musical to crack the top 10. [Variety]
• Michael Lawrance Kozelka, who was arrested for allegedly stalking Jewel, last week after showing up to her house with a pocket knife and a dog. the local sheriff says, "He was not aggressive and was not mad... He just said he was on a mission from God, that God told him to come to Stephenville and led him to this ranch." [AP]
• The CW announced that Heather Locklear will guest star on the new Melrose Place by issuing a press release titled, "The Bitch Is Back!" [Mercury News]
• Police inspector Andrew Wells testified in the John Travolta extortion trial today that John initially wanted his son Jett to be taken to the airport instead of a local hospital in the Bahamas. It has been previously reported that John thought it would take just as long to get to Florida, and Jett would get better care there. [TMZ]
• Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are being sued by a pair of paparazzi who claim their bodyguards shot at them during after their wedding in Costa Rica. They say they had clearance to take pictures from a nearby property, but bodyguards harassed them anyway, then shot at them with pistols as they tried to escape in their SUV. [TMZ]
• Ashton Kutcher's Facebook video series KatalystHQ is a hit. So far it has been viewed by 9 million people since its February debut. [Media Week]
• In the video at the link celebrities including Will Ferrell and Jon Hamm appear in a fake PSA urging Americans to think about the plight of the health insurance companies if Obama manages to overhaul the health care system. [Politico]
• Oksana Grigorieva says even though she's pregnant with Mel Gibson's baby, they haven't even considered marriage. "Actually we have no plans to marry whatsoever," she said. "I haven't thought about it – we haven't spoken about it." [People]
• Scott Storch ended his friendship with Brandon Davis because Davis allegedly confessed to stealing one of his diamond watches. [Contact Music]
• Eminem's music publisher Eight Mile Style LLC is suing Apple for copyright infringement for allegedly selling 93 of his songs on iTunes without permission. [AP]
• Gina Gershon's former agents are suing her because they claim they got her a job on Broadway, but she refused to pay them the 10% commission on the deal. The suit describes her as a "user" who "chooses to forget about those people who help her in her career." [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom just registered at Williams Sonoma, so their guest have less than a week to pick up a gift for their wedding on Sunday. [TMZ]
• Katie Price says her friendship with her "dressage instructor" Andrew Gould angered her ex-husband Peter Andre and contributed to their breakup. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Federline has signed on for the next season of Celebrity Fit Club. His ex Shar Jackson and Bobby Brown will also be on the show. [TMZ]
• Seth Green is the new spokesman for Butterfinger. He'll keep using Bart Simpson's line, "Nobody's gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger." [Brandweek]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom will marry on Sunday at the home of family friend and music manager Irving Azoff. A source says, "It will be a very detailed and classy affair." [People]
• Though Bruce Willis married Emma Heming in March, he says it "seems like less than a month. She's not only my best friend, but my wife." [People]
• Jeweler Neil Lane says Zooey Deschanel and Benjamin Gibbard were "absolutely adorable" when they came in to pick out their wedding rings last month. There are pictures of Zooey's rings here: [People]
• Jordan Belfi says of his character on Entourage, "Adam Davies has become ... one of the few characters on the show that really knows how to get under Ari's skin and push his buttons. Ari is an entertaining character, and it's fun to watch him go after things, but people really enjoy kind of when Ari's off balance." [CNN]
• Lost star Sonya Walger who will appear on the new show FlashForward, says, "I got married six weeks ago... It's just a sweet thing. I haven't got a better word for it. It's an enormous amount of sweetness." [People]
• Michael Emerson, who plays Ben Linus on Lost, says he wants to be on True Blood with his wife Carrie Preston. "I think it would be fun if I got to play her father," he said. "I would go on any Alan Ball show to do just about anything. I will be the face in the window, I will be the cab driver… I don't want to be a vampire." [Ok]
• Angela Lansbury and Catherine Zeta-Jones will star in a new Broadway production of A Little Night Music beginning in November. [Press Release]
• On October 12 George Takei and his husband Brad Altman will become the first gay couple to appear on The Newlywed Show. Takei says, "We get to show how normal and happy our 22 year relationship is. We got married last year but we've been together for 22 years, so we may have a leg up on the other newlyweds!" [Fancast]
• Mackenzie Phillips will appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show tomorrow to talk about how she hid in her home, made compulsive purchases and struggled with personal issues. She's expected to reveal a family secret she's kept hidden for 31 years. [CNN]
• When asked how she juggles motherhood and her career Jennifer Garner said, "You just take it one day at a time. Oh gosh, let me know when you figure that out. I don't think anyone has it." [People]
• Leelee Sobieski, who is expecting her first child later this year says, "I think I like eating what little kids eat... I eat less ice cream now than I did before because the baby takes up space." [People]
• "Apparently, there's a lot of debate going on right now, whether I'm qualified or not to be the new judge on 'American Idol'... I'll tell you right now, how I know I'm going to be a great judge — because I've spent my whole life being judged. So, I know what it's like. So, I will be kind. I will be compassionate. I will be empathetic, and I will be truthful. I will be an honest judge without being mean." — Ellen DeGeneres [Entertainment Tonight]
• Taye Diggs says that since Idina Menzel gave birth to their son Walker last month, "It's been amazing just to come home to that little dude... Every time I leave the house, it just makes me want to come back even more. It's just a great prize waiting for me." He added, "I have a newfound respect and admiration that borders on worship of my wife... Just to see her turn into a mother overnight is amazing." [People]
• Master interviewer Larry King asked Tyra Banks if she still "thinks like a fat person" now that she's lost weight. She replied: " I don't actually. You know... when I told the world to kiss my fat ass, I remained that size for two years. I maintained it with my ice cream and my salad with ranch and dressing and croutons and bacon bits. Like I — I didn't look at myself even on television and think that I was too big or — I don't know. I didn't — it didn't connect. But since I have lost a lot of weight, and it started with the — a weight loss challenge, actually at the top of this year. So I'm two years after 'kiss my fat ass.'" [CNN]

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

• It's confirmed: Katherine Heigl and husband Josh Kelly are adopting a baby girl from Korea. In an episode to air on Friday, Katherine tells Ellen:

"She was actually born the day before me in November, which I thought was really serendipitous and just kind of like a sign. I realized just recently that I basically forfeited my birthday for the rest of my life." And: "Her name is Naleigh. Well, I am naming her after my mother and sister Nancy, Leigh. So we call her Naleigh. I wanted to tell everybody so you don't think I stole a Korean baby." [People]

• Kate Gosselin is "beyond angry" at Jon Gosselin for saying he "despises" her, blah blah blah. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston is really sick of the haters, yo. That means you, Elle magazine: "It's just their headline of 'Lonely Girl' that's sort of bullshit," Aniston says.  "I agreed to do it because how many times have I done an interview-every time-and you're misquoted and stupid sound bites get taken out of context and all of that….still happened with this. It's unavoidable. I'm not upset about it. I just find it funny." [E!]
• Fans are divided about Ellen DeGeneres being the newest American Idol judge. On the one hand: She's "the people's point of view," because she has no formal music experience. But as one Idol blogger wrote: "Is she going to be a real judge or some kind of joke?" [AP] 
• Prodcers for Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo have cast a "hunk" named Max Ryan to be a European architect who crosses paths with Samantha. He is rather handsome, I must say. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Chris Brown's community service will involve 8-hour work days. He'll begin at 8 AM, get picked up by a Department of Corrections van (along with 40 other offenders), wear an orange reflective vest and pick up trash and litter along highways and roads in Richmond, VA. [TMZ]
• Yes, George Clooney "went public" with new ladyfriend Elisabetta Canalis at the Venice Film Festival earlier this week, so consider him off the market. [NY Daily News]
• Did Demi Moore snub British Prime Minister Gordon Brown's wife Sarah Brown on Twitter? [Telegraph]
• The company that owns Neverland Ranch has filed a bunch of trademarks with the US Patent Office and submitted paperwork requesting to use the Neverland name in association with a museum. A Michael Jackson museum. Of course, Joe Jackson says the company cannot do so without the family's permission. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Michael Jackson's family is upset over the charities that are supposed to get 20% of Michael's estate, for reasons unclear. [TMZ]
• After actor James Nesbitt made a joke about shagging Kate Moss at GQ's Men Of The Year Awards in London and Kate reportedly said: "He's so fucking rude. I'll never come to one of these fucking awards ceremonies again!" [Gatecrasher]
• Mary-Kate Olsen was seen "chain-smoking and throwing back shots." [Page Six]
• BREAKING: Kim Kardashian has gone back to brunette. [NY Daily News]
• Hugh Hefner claims soon-to-be-ex-wife Kimberly Conrad cheated on him early on in the marriage, but they are only getting divorced because she sued him over the sale of a house or something. Mo money mo problems. [TMZ]
• Zooey Deschanel will get married in Seattle at the end of the month, FYI. [Page Six]
• Ivanka Trump will get married on October 25 at a golf club. A Trump golf club. [Page Six]
• Do you care about America's Got Talent? Then you may care that columnist Courtney Hazlett thinks the show should be renamed America's Got A Very Broad Definition of Talent. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes: Shacking up. [National Enquirer]
• "It's a Georgian manor. We basically redid the entire thing, from the floors to landscaping to the closets, which are inspired by my New York apartment, with a men's and women's department store-esque feeling! Of course, I have the salon and Nick has a basketball court, which is his favorite place in the house. And I love having the outdoor space so the dogs can play. It's not too small; it's not too big; it's not a monstrosity. It's a home." — Mariah Carey on her new place in L.A. [Elle.com]
• "His movies make money. His movies play everywhere. If I looked like Tom Cruise they just wouldn't say such a thing." — Todd Solondz, on being compared to Woody Allen. [Reuters]
• "[Jessica's] always saying, 'Oh, I want a baby!' Being a mom's so empowering and incredible. I'm one of those people who believes that life brings things to you at a certain time for a certain reason, and if you just go with it, that's where the best moments come from. I've grown up so much. Your body is changing, and it's such an amazing time to feel that connection ... Being pregnant was the healthiest I've ever been in my life. Except for the cupcakes." (Do you envy your sister's freedom as a single girl?) "I really don't." — Ashlee Simpson. [People via Redbook]
• "People can have rhinoceros skin, but there's a point when something's going to hurt you. Not everyone is stone, stone. I haven't watched the news in weeks. I had to ask my chef, 'How's Obama doing?' I haven't read a newspaper." — Janet Jackson, on dealing with her brother's death. [NY Daily News via Harper's Bazaar]
• "I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." — Shawne Merriman, the San Diegos Chargers linebacker accused of choking Tila Tequila, to Playboy. [NY Daily News]
• ''Somehow during the last Genesis tour I dislocated some vertebrae in my upper neck and that affected my hands. After a successful operation on my neck, my hands still can't function normally. Maybe in a year or so it will change, but for now it is impossible for me to play drums or piano. I am not in any 'distressed' state - stuff happens in life.'' — Phil Collins. [Telegraph]
• "How do I put this like a gentleman... I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis. My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli. I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James. I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together." — John Mayer. [ONTD via Twitter]

• Jennifer Aniston is concerned that her romance with Gerard Butler will come to an end, now that the movie the two were shooting together, The Bounty, has stopped filming. Surely this means more "Lonely Jen" stories for us all. [PageSix]

• Megan Hauserman of VH1's Megan Wants A Millionaire says it's been a "very challenging time" for her after Ryan Jenkins, a potential suitor from the show, was found dead after being the prime suspect in the murder of his girlfriend, Jasmine Fiore. "I'm happy to move forward at this point," she says, "It's been a very upsetting, sad, tragic situation that nobody could have expected." [People]
• Lamar Odom says he's very happy with his new girlfriend, Khloe Kardashian: "Khloe is smart and beautiful and that is very hard to find." [USWeekly]
• Blind Item #1: "Which son of a beloved rock icon has an impostor? The lookalike goes to S&M parties, wearing the same glasses his late "father" did, and doesn't correct people when they assume he's rock royalty — but the impostor went too far by volunteering to appear as a foot-worshipping slave in a kinky video." [PageSix]
• Blind Item #2: "Which curvaceous starlet and her new Hollywood hubby were reckless at a swanky LA hotel recently? The normally private twosome were spotted snorting cocaine in front of other guests." [PageSix]
• "I could do the splits when I was nine months pregnant. I could put my leg over my head still. I used to be a ballerina." -Ashlee Simpson [USWeekly]
• Britney Spears surprised fans by singing Alanis Morrissette's "You Oughta Know" live at a concert last night without a backing track: there's video, and she's actually not too bad. [TheSun]
• "I want to take my acting as far as I can. I think one of the best things in my life is that I got to see at a young age what I wanted to be."-Rumer Willis [People]
• Uh-oh: has Victoria Beckham's decision to pose for Elle actually hurt her chances to pose for Vogue? A source says yes: "Victoria hoped to land the Vogue cover but it fell through weeks ago. She decided to pose for Elle instead and now Vogue won't consider her for at least four months." [DailyMail]
• Prince Harry and ex-girlfriend Chelsy Davy: back together. [DailyMail]
• "The industry is a beast. I struggle with the notion that you can put your best foot forward and it can all mean nothing. People tell you on a Friday that your life's gonna change by Monday. But then comes Monday and you still don't feel like you've got it." -Eric Bana[JustJared]
• Despite overwhelmingly negative reviews, All About Steve took in about 3.57 million dollars on Friday, coming in second place at the box office. [EW]
• "If you read good reviews, you become self-conscious about the bits they like, and it starts to make those bits tacky - as if you're churning them out. And if you get bad reviews, they're going to crush your ego. It's like vinegar in the wound. So there's no point in reading them."-Jude Law [NYTimes]
• "I grew up believing my sister was from the planet Neptune and had been sent down to Earth to kill me. I believed this because my sister Emily convinced me of it when I was a toddler. I think she'd seen Invasion Of The Body Snatchers and her imagination ran away with her. There's a part of me that still believes it. I have moments when I think, 'Hmm, could that be true?' Occasionally I ask my sister about it and she responds by pulling an alien face, which only confuses matters."- Zooey Deschanel on her sister, Emily Deschanel. [DailyMail]

• Lady Gaga on those nasty hermaphrodite rumors:

"My little vagina is very offended." [News.com.au]

• Celebrities seen attending DJ AM's memorial — designed to resemble a 12-step meeting — include Lindsay Lohan, Robert Downey Jr., John Mayer, Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. [AP, People]
• Susan Boyle's album is topping Amazon's bestsellers list, even though it's not on sale until November. Pre-orders have the album out-selling Whitney Houston and the Twilight soundtrack. [Daily Mail]
• So you know how Chris Brown critiqued Oprah for doing a show on domestic violence, dedicated to "all the Rihannas of the world"? He called it "a slap in the face." And he said: "I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could've been more helpful, like, ‘OK, I'm going to help both of these people out.'" A source says: "He's done. Whatever goodwill he had, he's totally ruined it by saying that. What was he thinking? And who the hell goes up against Oprah? It just shows he doesn't think. No one is going to want him as the face of their brand." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna has been seen being "touchy-feely" with "scenester" Travis London. [NY Daily News]
• Michael Jackson's burial last night gave Katherine Jackson closure, sources say. "Everyone's been telling her how strong she is, but even she said, ‘It's not always easy to be this strong,'" says Rev. Al Sharpton, a Jackson family friend. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paris Jackson cried when she stepped into the mausoleum where her father was to be entombed; Katherine Jackson started to go in but turned back, overcome by grief. [AP]
• Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis attended Michael Jackson's burial. Gladys Knight sang. [People]
• Michael Jackson was not buried at Neverland — or in Gary, Indiana, because his family wanted a "secluded, dignified resting place fitting for a music legend." His mother, Katherine, wanted to be able to visit her son without fanfare or fans. [Mirror]
• An Australian newspaper mocked Russell Crowe for smoking and eating a big meal during a recent bike ride. Naturally Russell has challenged the paper's gossip columnist to a "duel by bicycle." Apparently Russell's spokesperson called the guy the next day and said: Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?" [Breitbart]
• Lisa Ling says that when her sister Laura Ling was held captive in North Korea, Diane Sawyer reached out: "She made calls and took meetings on our behalf for which we will be forever grateful." [People]
• We've seen a lot of Jon Gosselin lately, but not a lot of his girlfriend. A source says of Hailey Glassman: "Hailey actually hates the fact that Jon is famous. She doesn't want to be photographed and doesn't like the attention." [Page Six]
• Zooey Deschanel is "scrambling to slim down" for her wedding; she's been taking ballet workouts back to back. Or maybe she just likes the workout? [Page Six]
• Joy Behar is silly. [Page Six]
• Newly released emails from Carrie Prejean show that she and the pageant officials were butting heads way before she spoke out on same-sex unions. In a March 19 email, Carrie wrote to Miss California co-director Keith Lewis: "I WILL NOT BE VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED ANYMORE BY ANY OF YOU. I HAVE A COMPETITION TO PREPARE FOR. I WILL NO LONGER BE DEALING WITH ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN AT THIS POINT. I WILL ONLY SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAPPY. AND RIGHT NOW, THAT IS NONE OF YOU. I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN APRIL. PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AT ALL FROM THIS POINT FORWARD." [Fox News]
• "Donald Trump is such a hands-on boss that he personally helps pick six of the 15 finalists in the Miss Universe pageant each year — because the preliminary judges often overlook the most beautiful contestants." [Page Six]
• Check out this "commercial" for "Fecalux," starring Roseanne. It makes you poop. [ONTD]
• All About Steve "is an oddly creepy, sour film, featuring a heroine so desperate and peculiar that audiences may be more likely to pity than root for her." [Rotten Tomatoes]
• Jake Brockman, a former keyboard player with Echo and the Bunnymen, was killed in a motorcycle crash Tuesday on the Isle of Man. [BBC News]
• Whatshername says Whatshisname has a "secret lover." [The Sun]
• "I hope this show is a huge hit and that people love it. Because I like playing this character more than any character I've ever played." — Courteney Cox on upcoming show Cougar Town. [LA Times]
• "The older I get, the younger the leading man gets." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
• "I've always said I believe in good music and bad music. ...I like music. My next album, which I'm working on now — that's exclusive, no one knows that — is gonna be the album that really ...it's not gonna be a #1 album. That's where I'm at right now. I wanna make the most experimental album I ever made." — Jay-Z. [MTV News]
• "People often look for deep psychological and emotional reasons why people eat, and I'm sure for many people those exist. But other people, and I would include myself, are just fucking greedy bastards who like eating. It's nice – it's a nice feeling. Eating chocolate is nice, right? Chocolate's fucking great. So I don't think it was a horrible self-comforting thing, I think it was just lack of self-discipline. Most people want a load of chocolate, but they stop. They think, if I do that I'll get fat. Whereas I just thought, I don't care." — Little Britain's Matt Lucas, who has recently lost weight because his doctor had warned him he was at risk of becoming diabetic. [Guardian]
• "You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things. Someone said, 'Oh, I saw a picture of you on the Internet, that was a really pretty hat.' Not hat, I don't wear hats. 'That was a really great dress!' I was like, 'Oh, I just wore that the other day, how did you know?' 'Oh, well, on blank-blank-blank-dot-com.' I wouldn't know. I don't know whose movie made money — I haven't seen a movie. I don't know who's famous and who's not, I don't know any young people that are coming up. I'll see somebody, and I'll say, 'That girl's really pretty.' And someone may say, 'Oh, of course, she's on "The Hills" or something.' Is that a show? I've got strong opinions, and I can get short. But I'm just not that high-maintenance. So the whole world knows I had miscarriages. And yes, I've done in vitro however many times — three times. Yes, I've said that David and I go to therapy. Yes. Nothing's too precious for me. For some reason, I don't care. I wish I could be a little bit more, like, 'You're trying to dig something out of me,' and me being like, 'I'm not going to talk about that.' What do you want to talk about? I don't care." — Courteney Cox. [LA Times]
• "I don't enjoy being looked at. But that's part of being successful, doing magazine covers. It's very masochistic – the one thing you're so afraid of you become addicted to. I'm addicted to being uncomfortable." — Megan Fox. [NY Daily News via Wonderland Magazine]

• Did Madonna collapse twice during her show in Sofia, Bulgaria?

In the video at the link, you can see her lean on her backup dancer — then he asks her if she is okay. But would you call it a "collapse"? [The Sun]

• Jesus Luz doesn't just play a DJ in Madonna's new video, he is a DJ. But at a gig in Brazil, "the dancefloor was almost empty," says a source. [Page Six]
• Madonna wants Cate Blanchett to star in her new musical movie about the life of Wallis Simpson, who Britain's King Edward VIII gave up the throne to marry. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Speaking of Cate Blanchett, was she injured on stage during A Streetcar Named Desire a few hours ago? The audience was "evacuated" from the theater, and "everyone is speculating Cate is hurt." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• UPDATE: Cate Blanchett was "left bleeding from the head" when a fight scene "went badly wrong." An actor hit her in the head with a prop '60s style radio. [SMH]
• Angelina Jolie is "furious" that Brad Pitt has been boozing and smoking weed and has "exploded." She said: "Stop boozing and smoking drugs or check into rehab!" According to insiders, that is. As always, consider the source on this. [News.com.au via National Enquirer]
• Here's another clip from Chris Brown's Larry King interview. He says he's "ashamed" and "really regrets" punching and biting Rihanna. He wishes he could take it back. [TMZ]
• Good news for Rihanna: She will be one of Glamour's Woman Of The Year. [WWD]
• Nicole Kidman has "abandoned" her older kids, Isabella (16) and Connor (14), whom she brought up during her marriage to Tom Cruise. They reportedly don't call her mom, they call her Nicole; she didn't go to the premiere of Seven Pounds, which Connor was in; she hasn't been seen in public with either kid since May 2007. [News.com.au via In Touch]
• Lindsay Lohan is moving out of her Hollywood Hills house, but neighbors claim they've spoken to the owner of the place, who says she's breaking her lease and owes about $50,000. [RadarOnline]
• Nicole Richie "almost collapsed in grief" when she heard the news of DJ AM's death. "She said she felt like her heart stopped for a few minutes."
  The two were involved — and engaged in 2005. They were both recovering addicts, and a source says: "Adam was the one who got her to straighten up. She never thought he'd come to this. She's horrified and regrets that she didn't reach out and help him." [Star]
• Blink 182 will reschedule two concerts because Travis Barker needs "time to mourn" DJ AM's death. [TMZ]
• Authorities say that DJ AM had eight undigested OxyContin pills in his stomach and a ninth in his mouth. A source says: "He wanted to die." [People]
• DJ AM's memorial will be "in the style of an open 12-step meeting." [People]
• Getting divorced: LeAnn Rimes. Was it just five months ago that she was "caught in an affair"? [Michael Jackson's death certificate has been amended, now listing his fatal injury as ""intravenous injection by another." [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson has filed papers to try and get Michael Jackson's estate to pay for his burial. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson is "hearing wedding bells." She's always at A-Rod's apartment, yadda yadda yadda. [MSNBC]
• Alec Baldwin met some of the Real Housewives of New York City, who were fighting over time with him, but he only wanted to meet Bethenny Frankel, who didn't show up to the event. A source spills: "He said he really wanted to meet her and even complained that, of course, the one woman he wanted to meet wasn't coming. He wasn't even being discreet about how interested he was." [Gatecrasher]
• Behold: Jon Hamm, astride a motorcycle — and cuddling a dog — in the new Rolling Stone. [ONTD]
• While preparing for his Broadway play, A Steady Rain, Daniel Craig has demanded personal security be available to shadow him at all times. Costar Hugh Jackman? Hasn't asked for any protection. [Page Six]
• Whitney Houston was hoarse during her free concert in Central Park yesterday. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie's pub, The Punchbowl, is being investigated for being too noisy. [Independent]
• Joe Francis claims three of his "most trusted" employees "misused their positions" and funneled cash out from his business. He' suing, of course. [TMZ]
• In a poll, only 16% of people who saw the new Transformers movie said it was worth their money, but 55% called Megan Fox the "summer's sexiest babe." Also, The Hangover was named "most worth" the price of admission, even though the cast was "largely unknown." Jack Black's Year One and Will Ferrell's Land Of The Lost scored low. Lesson: Fans favored flicks with fresh faces. [Reuters]
• Natalie Portman's new "rustic, castle-like" house in L.A. looks pretty amazing, and that fireplace makes me think of the fireplace scene in Garden State. [ONTD via In Touch]
• In this column, Kevin Federline is described as "Britney Spears' bloated ex-husband." [Page Six]
• Look for David Beckham to star in an ad for the California Travel and Tourism Commission, kicking soccer balls into the ocean. [Mirror]
• DVR alert: Kermit The Frog and Miss Piggy will "perform" on America's Got Talent tomorrow! Also there to judge: Curmudgeons Statler and Waldorf. [UPI]
• The Black Eyed Peas are being sued by a woman who attended a concert rehearsal and fell through some stairs. [TMZ]
• Audrina Patridge is insisting on being a producer on her new reality show, The Audrina Show, so that she won't be portrayed as an airhead, the way she was on The Hills. [Page Six]
• Emily Blunt's dad approves of her wedding to John Krasinski, even though they've only been together for eight months. [Daily Express]
• Phil Spector's being moved to a different prison, where he'll be in a "sensitive needs yard." [AP]
• Tippi Hedren's L.A. animal sanctuary is threatened by wildfire! "Nobody wants lions and tigers going down the road," Melanie Griffith's mom says. "I'm knocking on wood right now." [MSNBC]
• "I love Zooey, she's one of my favourite people in the world — we've been friends for a long time actually. We did a movie together called Manic a long time ago, and we've stayed friends since. So, to come to work every day with somebody that I like and trust and care about, I think it was really key in making the movie work. I think Zooey is similar to Summer in that they are both very honest. They are not afraid to tell you what they think and what they feel. But Summer is quite different from Zooey in a lot of ways also. I think Summer, in certain ways, doesn't quite know exactly what she wants out of life and Zooey definitely does - she is very on the ball, one of the many things that I admire about her, that she's making movies, writing songs and releasing albums." — Joseph Gordon-Levitt. [Mirror]
• "If it's nudity just because they want you to get naked in a movie, then I'm kind of like, 'You know what? No.' But if it's kind of pivotal, and it helps move the story along then yeah, sure I'll do it. I can't imagine being like, 'Hey Dad, wanna come?' I'll just have to wait for it to come out on DVD so I can fast forward through those scenes." — Rumer Willis. [E!]
• "I just sort of dork out and want to hang out with cool, good people. I want to be one of the cool kids at the party. You know: lay my outfit out the night before and show up. Sure, it's nice if a script is good, but a bad script can be fixed by really good directing and decent acting. So, it's more about the people… Obviously, I couldn't be more grateful. This is all I know how to do. If Arrested Development didn't come along, I don't know what I would be doing. I don't have anything else to fall back on. It was nice to get a new tank of gas with that show. Now my job is not to screw it up; the goal is longevity." — Jason Bateman. [USA Today]
• "I basically read every book ever written about Marilyn Monroe. I could end up like that because I constantly struggle with the idea that I think I'm a borderline personality — or that I have bouts of mild schizophrenia. I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven't pinpointed what it is." — Megan Fox. [WENN]

• Blink-182 paid tribute to their friend DJ AM , who was found dead on Friday, with a moment of silence at their concert in Hartford, CT last night; a video of the tearful tribute can be seen here. [YouTube]

• Travis Barker also expressed his grief over DJ AM's passing on his Twitter page, writing, ""Rest In Peace my brother, this really f—-s me up. I'll never forget everything we've been thru and every time i play the drums i'll think of you. U were an amazing friend/DJ/human being … Don't know how i am gonna play 2night but i am for AM. My brother is gone.i love u and miss u, i'll never forget all the good times we had." [People]
• DJ AM's autopsy, performed yesterday, was inconclusive, as doctors are still awaiting the results of toxicology tests before announcing an official cause of death. [People]
• ""I am absolutely heartbroken. For those of us lucky enough to have known him, Adam radiated a contagious exuberance for life and also personified the very definition of a true friend. To say that he will be missed beyond words is an understatement. My heart goes out to his loved ones."- Mandy Moore on former boyfriend, DJ AM. [TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx says that playing schizophrenic Nathaniel Ayers in The Soloist drove him to meet with a psychiatrist, as the experience reminded him of unpleasant flashbacks he'd received as a result of having his drink spiked with PCP when he was in college: "Doing this movie recalled those different things - the thing with the PCP and my fear of mental illness - and I thought, "I don't want to lose my mind for real by doing this character."' [DailyMail]
• Marlon Jackson says that his brother Michael's gold casket will be encased in cement and monitored by cameras in order to ward off grave robbers and vandals. [Mirror]
• "I think all women are sexy. There is a sexiness you can turn on and turn off. And then there's a sexiness that's just there. That has to do with confidence, how comfortable they are with themselves."-Scarlett Johansson [TimesOnline]
• A source says that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's children are basically the best children ever. "I've never seen such kind, giving children. Especially at their ages. Pax loves Maddox and follows his lead. Zahara is a leader type and she has a buoyant, bright personality. She mothers Shiloh but makes it known she's older than her sister. Shiloh is the little mother. She watches over the twins like a mum. She especially loves Vivienne.' If only all celeb offspring could be this kind." [Mirror]
• Jon Gosselin was, for some reason, invited to host a pool party in Vegas. The photographic evidence of said party is, naturally, quite obnoxious. [JustJared]
• Whitney Houston's label is optimistic about her new record, even as skeptics such as Rolling Stone's Caryn Ganz warn that "It's a Beyonce world. I don't think Whitney has a clear place anymore." [Reuters]
• American Express claims that Wes Bentley, the actor best known for seeing all of the beauty in the world via a plastic bag in American Beauty, owes them over 90,000. [TMZ]
• Shania Twain posted a 15 minute "video travelogue of her past year" on her website to assure fans that she was happy and enjoying life after her husband, Mutt Lange cheated on her with her best friend. In a fairly soap opera-esque twist, Twain has spent the past year traveling with her ex-best friend's ex-husband, Frédéric Thiébaud, whom she calls "a dear friend and true gentleman." [People]
• Victoria Beckham hits the gym without makeup, world stops spinning, News at 11. [DailyMail]
• Lily Allen may be stressed out by her rock and roll lifestyle, but a source claims that rumors that she's about to quit music for other pursuits should be taken with a grain of salt: "'I think that the truth is she means it when she says it, but you will notice that she only says it when she is stressed," says the source, "She is committed to her music, so I would not take it as an indication that she is about to retire. She is quite buoyant at the moment." [DailyMail]
• Demi Moore is set to have a recurring role as a "Janice Dickinson type" character on her husband, Ashton Kutcher's new show, The Beautiful Life. [DailyMail]
• The Cranberries are reuniting, after singer Delores O'Riordan realized she missed her "boys" after several years apart. "We lost contact with each other," she says, "We were always friends, but I wouldn't be hanging around with them offstage. They're real lad's lads. What was I going to talk to them about? Breastfeeding?" [IrishTimes]
• Residents on Fire Island are reportedly fighting the urge to joke around with Tina Fey, who is vacationing there with her family. "Everyone is trying to resist the urge to point to the mainland in the distance and tell her, 'Hey, look, I can see Russia from my back yard, too," says a source. [PageSix]
• Zooey Deschanel is in talks to guest star on her sister, Emily Deschanel's show, Bones, this December. [EW]
• Greg Lott claims that he and Farrah Fawcett had a secret affair for the last 11 years of her life: "‘We were blind, crazy, in love,' he says. ‘Farrah was my best friend and my inspiration. We fell in love with each other all those years ago and we never really stopped loving each other. Our lives took us in very different directions but, in the end, her heart always came home to me and Texas." [DailyMail]
• "I think that a lot of people become more beautiful as they grow older. I was very close to both of my grandmothers when I was growing up – they lived long into old age and they were always beautiful to me. They loved life and it showed in their faces. They are not here any more, but people you have loved never leave you completely. And the more I get to look like them, the happier I'll be."-Penelope Cruz [DailyMail]

[Los Angeles, August 25. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Paula Abdul will not return to American Idol. This announcement comes via her Twitter. She wrote:

"With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to #IDOL. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all I'll miss being a part of a show that I helped from day1 become an international phenomenon. What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me… It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month… I do without any doubt have the BEST fans in the entire world and I love you all." She was reportedly looking for as much as $20 million to continue with the show, but producers were recently heard talking up new host Kara DioGuardi (who has already signed on for another season, along with Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest). [Variety]

• First we heard that Penelope Cruz might be knocked up, then we heard she quit smoking, and now a source says: "Penelope is about four months pregnant." Congrats to Penny and lover Javier Bardem! [Just Jared]
• Thank Zeus: Jennifer Aniston has signed on for a movie we can actually get behind: Goree Girls is about an all-female country band in a Texas prison in the 1940s. [Variety]
• Presented without comment: "A park bench featuring a sculpture of a nude Angelina Jolie with her infant twins is to be unveiled in Oklahoma to promote World Breastfeeding Week." [UPI]
• Madonna's old love letters "borrowed heavily" from Anne Sexton poems. [Page Six]
• Childhood stardom can be tough. Ashley Olsen tells Marie Claire: "[Growing up,] it was almost like I was in the Army. School, work, homework, fly to New York, get in at 2 in the morning, do a morning show at 5 a.m., then another one at 7, then a radio interview at 10." She adds: "I look at Britney, and I'm surprised I didn't end up like her." [Gatecrasher]
• When Jon and Kate Gosselin announced their split, they got great ratings; the new episode's ratings? Crappy. Hence the headline, "Viewers Break Up With 'Jon and Kate.'" [AdAdge]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Jon Gosselin is on the cover of In Touch, saying "I'm tired of being blamed." He says his marriage fell apart in October 2008. "Many people think that everything moved too fast, that I was out partying too quickly. But Kate gave up on the marriage last October, and the divorce will be finalized by Sept. 30." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Robert Pattinson has been voted the sexiest man in the world in a Glamour mag poll in which many of the women were obviously Twihards. [The Star]
• Spotted: Kelly Bensimon and Damages actress Rose Byrne vying for Gerard Butler's attention. "Kelly blocked Gerard from speaking to Rose and was flirting up a storm - but he couldn't have seemed less interested." Gerard found Rose later and took her to a "private corner" to talk. [Gatecrasher]
• Gerard Butler says he got involved in his new romcom because he was always cracking jokes: "I was doing an action movie with the guys who made this and at night we would go to dinner and I would be like 'did you hear the one about this?' and they were like The Ugly Truth." [Mirror]
• Chris Brown will be sentenced for assault today. [AP]
• Elisabeth Moss says she and Mad Men costar Christina Hendricks — who are both getting married soon — are having their cakes made by the same people.
  "We've been exchanging flower information a little bit," she says. "Our weddings are sort of different, but we love talking about it." [People]
• CW programming chief Dawn Ostroff says Mischa Barton is at work on her new show The Beautiful Life and has been "great" and there have been "no issues." Everything is FINE okay? [USA Today]
• According to this report, it's not Mischa the CW producers are worried about, it's Elle Macpherson, her TBL costar, who has a large role, but can't act. [Gatecrasher]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler gets kinda Sopranos-esque in this video, "The Real Housewives of New Jersey with Jamie-Lynn Sigler." Bonus points for "buh-bies." [Funny Or Die]
• The Michael Jackson concert rehearsal footage will be a full-length motion picture… if a probate judge approves the deal by Monday. [AP]
• Joe Jackson, thank you for saying the following: "I do visit the family residence from time to time and will continue to do so, however I will not be involved in raising the children." [AP]
• Administrators of Michael Jackson's estate expect to earn cash from merchandising Jackson-related stuff, which would be good for the kids. [TMZ]
• David and Victoria Beckham MIGHT be moving to a £10million home in Chelsea, London, and here are pictures of the house they COULD live in someday. [Daily Mail]
• Check out Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel in this music video shot to promote (500) Days Of Summer. It's got a '60s look and DANCING! [USA Today, USA Today]
• John Slattery, aka Mad Men's Roger Sterling, may direct an upcoming episode of the AMC show. [LA Times]
• Candy Spelling is still using the media to talk to daughter Tori Spelling. Last week she accused Tori of using her kids as "reality show props"; today she's telling Tori: "I love you, and I always will." [USA Today]
• Daniel Baldwin says of the woman who claims he left her a "hostile" message: "Either she's delusional, can't remember what's going on, or she's psychotic." The woman fired his niece, who is a nanny, and allegedly threatened the niece, saying she would never work in Malibu again. Baldwin says he texted back: "Please don't threaten my niece" and that's it. [E!]
• Former U.S. President Bill Clinton will present filmmaker Steven Spielberg with the 2009 Liberty Medal at a ceremony in Philadelphia. [UPI]
• Jay Leno's new show will have "correspondents" — Brian Williams, Mikey Day, Rachael Harris, D.L. Hughley and Jim Norton. [Page Six]
• Josh Duhamel is in talks to star with Katherine Heigl in Life As We Know It, a romance about two people "whose worlds are turned upside down when their mutual best friends die in an accident and name them as caregivers of their orphaned daughter." Cue parenting goofs, falling in love. [Variety]
• Bam Margera is working it out with his wife, with the help of marriage counseling and meds. [TMZ]
• Johnny Hallyday, the "French Elvis," fell while boarding a yacht on the Riviera last month and dislocated his hip. [Page Six]
• This picture of Whatshername face down getting her ass squeezed while getting a massage is one of the reasons I can't bear to be interested in her. In any case, Whatshisname is hoping for a quickie divorce. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which wacky celeb is certainly no angel when it comes to her hobbies? This hostess holds drawing parties for her gal pals - complete with a nude model and lots of alcohol." [Gatecrasher]
• "Silence is a powerful weapon in drama, "What you don't say and what you don't reveal can be as powerful as what you do say. My intention is to make [the performance] as real as possible but never forgetting that it's actually drama." — Gabriel Byrne, on In Treatment. [LA Times]
• "She comes to L.A. from the Midwest to find her mother [who turns out to be one of the original show's characters, Sydney Andrews, played by Laura Leighton], and all of a sudden she's thrown in with the sharks." — Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, on her Melrose Place character. [WWD]
• "In the music business in the Seventies, girls were beautiful. You were a performer, or you could be a girlfriend or groupie, but you still had to look good. I didn't have the face or the body that opens doors... Not being beautiful was an education. My achievements are down to my looks, or lack of them... I'm not putting myself down, that's the truth." — Sharon Osbourne, who says being "short, fat and hairy" meant she had to "develop a brain and personality and be fun and smart and learn to get on with people and make deals." [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to confirm or deny that. It might jump forward, it might not." -Jon Hamm, on whether the third season of Mad Men takes place two years after the last season ended. [NY Mag, via ESPN podcast]
• "A lot of his chickens came home to roost, so to speak. He had a lot of balls in the air, and they all kinda came crashing down as the season progressed. A lot more happens in season three, and there's a lot of change coming his way. Not only in his life, but a lot happens in the culture as well. So far, it's been an amazing season and I can't wait for people to see it." -Jon Hamm, on Don Draper's meltdown last season and how Don recovers (or doesn't). [NY Mag, via ESPN podcast]
• "They're fucking nuts. You have to either accept that or you do like me: You get married four times."— James Caan, on women. [Page Six via Men's Journal]
• "My music is a little more edgy so that inspired me to be adventurous. I've never dyed my hair before so this was a pretty drastic change. I've always been known as a brunette but I've been thinking about it for a long time and it kind of just fit with all of the searching with the music and experimenting that I would do the same thing with my look. The look has affected the way I dress, it's inspired me to be more adventurous with what I decide to wear. It's silly that something so simple as changing your hair could have such a big effect. I'm just having fun with it." — Katharine McPhee, on dying her hair blonde. [People]
• "I'm not great [at romance in real life] actually — my husband [musician Josh Kelley] and I have had this argument, I can be but generally I am a little, like, squeamish about being too romantic. I do love a good snuggle, but I don't want to, have to, get all verbally gooey." — Katherine Heigl. [Mirror]
• "I probably seem like not a particularly nice person, not a girl's girl. I think if you put a camera in anyone's life and document it daily for six years, from the age of 21 to 27, there are going to be things that aren't always pretty. Those are the rebellious years, the years of self discovery. I've never been someone who has conformed, and I think my response to that level of attention was to pretend it didn't exist." — Sienna Miller. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm disgusted by him. Here's a guy with eight kids who runs off to 'find himself' — well, he should have found himself a condom." — Joan Rivers on Jon Gosselin. [Page Six]

• Chris Brown tried to sit next to Mariah Carey during a private reception after Michael Jackson's memorial. She quickly informed him that she would rather he sit at another table. [Perez Hilton]

• Some have taken Jermaine Dupri's absence from Michael Jackson's funeral as confirmation of the rumors that he and Janet Jackson have split, but a pal says Dupri just "doesn't attend funerals." [Us]
• Janet Jackson has offered to raise Michael Jackson's kids... according to a random Inside Edition reporter. [CBS News]
• Debbie Rowe is suing the woman who sold Extra the emails in which Rowe said she doesn't really want custody of Michael Jackson's kids for defamation and invasion of privacy. Rowe says the emails are fake and she hasn't spoken to the women recently. [AP]
• Sources say lawyers for Debbie Rowe and Katherine Jackson are close to working out a custody settlement. It looks like Katherine will have custody of the children if a judge agrees. [TMZ]
• Hundreds of stuffed animals and other memorabilia left outside the Motown Historical Museum after Michael Jackson's death were buried in two vaults at Woodlawn Cemetary in Detroit. The cemetary, where Rosa Parks is buried and Diana Ross and the Four Tops have plots reserved, donated the vaults to Jackson along with a granite headstone memorial. [AP]
• The Iowa Fair let people vote online to decide whether or not there would be a butter sculpture made of Michael Jackson. Sixty-five percent voted no so plans for the sculpture have been cancelled. [UPI]
• The song "Home", which LaToya Jackson previously recorded to honor her family is being re-released as a tribute to Michael Jackson. The song will be the first single or LaToya's new album. The proceeds will got to AIDS Project LA. [AP]
• Marlon, Randy, Tito and possibly Jackie Jackson will do a paid performance of Jackson 5 songs at Reggae Sumfest in Jamaica next week. [TMZ]
• Prosecutors have opened a manslaughter investigation after the collapse of the stage being constructed for a Madonna concert in France killed two men and injured eight others. [Entertainment Tonight]
• The same company built the stage for the Madonna and Britney Spears concert at Dodger Stadium in November, which also collapsed. The company released a statement saying, "We were incredibly saddened by the tragic accident ... Two of our Directors have flown out to Marseille to visit the injured and to get a better understanding of what caused the accident ...There is absolutely no technical or other connection between the incident at the Dodgers Stadium in November 2008 and the tragic accident yesterday (July 16 2009) at the Velodrome in Marseille." [TMZ]
• Ne-Yo got sick and left the stage crying during a concert in Manchester, England. People thought he was crying because he was singing a tribute to Michael Jackson, but then he was struggling to move and clung onto a table onstage to keep from falling over. A presenter said he had "a really bad fever." [UPI]
• Lady Gaga was asked to wear a less revealing outfit and not dance provocatively for an appearince on Britain's GMTV yesterday mornign. A source says, "She finally agreed to tone it down. The nation would have been coughing up cornflakes if she'd had her way." [The Daily Express]
• Mark Ronson, who produced Back To Black says, "I heard Amy [Winehouse] was back in town, but I haven't spoken to her yet. I'm working on a new record now, but I would love to work with Amy again. I would definitely like to hear what Amy's been working on - she's an amazing artist, so I would be interested in anything she does." [The Daily Express]
• Eva Longoria Parker went camping in Normandy with husband Tony Parker, who is French. An onlooker said, "Sleeping under canvas obviously agreed with her. She looked gorgeous!" [The Daily Express]
• Security has been tightened on the set of The Fighter after an intruder startled Amy Adams in her trailer. "Amy was getting ready to leave the set when the guy climbed the steps right outside her trailer and said: ‘I'm looking for my cousin,'" said a source. "Amy, who was fully dressed and was with a production worker, yelled out: ‘What the hell are you doing?' and the guy quickly climbed down the stairs before running off." [Radar Online]
• Leelee Sobieski is engaged to menswear designer Adam Kimmel. [Us]
• Ivanka Trump gushes about her new fiance Jared Kushner: "Jared is my best friend for many reasons, largely because I've allowed him to see who I truly am and he still loves me... He's a bit of a hero of mine. His ability to remain focused - he lacks an anxiety that's natural for someone his age handed so much responsibility … Sometimes I catch myself looking at him and being thankful that I have grown to a level of personal maturity that I would value so much the qualities he has." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Ivanka Trump's mother Ivana Trump says, "I am so thrilled about Ivanka's engagement. She and Jared have been a serious couple for a long time, and their happiness has grown as their relationship has deepened." [People]
• Oprah's ratings have slipped by nearly a third since 2004. Some suggest people are suddenly tired of her after 20 years and others think it's an Obama backlash... since Obama is so unpopular right now. [N.Y. Post]
• John Goodman will star in The Station a new FOX comedy about CIA agents trying to install a new dictator in Central America. Sounds hilarious! [Media Week]
• Adrian Grenier showed up late to Live With Regis And Kelly yesterday. "I didn't realize it was live! I thought they just tape it," he said. [The Observer]
• Russell Crowe is in negotiations to reprise his role of Jack Aubrey for a Master and Commander sequel. [Yahoo]
• Mischa Barton may be released from psychiatric evaluation on Saturday. "A 5150 is considered a psychiatric emergency, when a person is deemed a danger to themselves, to others or is gravely disabled," says a psychiatrist who doesn't treat her. "A serious risk of suicide is a primary reason for the hold, as well as those suffering from severe depression or schizophrenia." [People]
• Jon Gosselin has moved into a two bedroom apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side. [People]
• Russell Simmons says his favorite New Yorker is Rev. Al Sharpton. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Here's an analysis of why the ads for Funny People mention that it's a Judd Apatow film but don't print Adam Sandler or Seth Rogan's names. [L.A. Times]
• Kid Rock debuted his American Badass Beer at a his concerts in Detroit this week. He said, "I'm American, that's what I like to drink, and from looking around the parking lot before my shows, I know that's what my fans drink." [UPI]
• Derek and Julianne Hough both received Emmy nominations for a dance they choreographed and performed on Dancing With the Stars I can't think of a better person to be nominated with," said Julianne. "My first time being nominated for an Emmy last year was surreal and awesome, but this time around is more special because Derek and I choreographed to fit our personalities and not the celebrities we dance with on the show." [People]
• Q: You do "hot topics." Doesn't that come from The View?
  Wendy Williams: Yeah. They're the topics and they're hot. What else would I call them?
  Q: You also have a member of the audience introduce you, just like Rosie O'Donnell did.
  Wendy Williams: Are you accusing me of being a thief? Rosie's not using it anymore. Stop being so observant! [Newsweek]
• Marc Anthony scheduled a news conference with the Miami Dophins for next Tuesday. When Gloria Estefan arranged a similar news conference last month she announced that she was becoming a minority owner. [Yahoo]
• Here's the first image from the Broadway production of After Miss Julie, which Sienna Miller and Jonny Lee Miller will star in this fall. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Did you know Vin Diesel has been working behind the camera? He says: "For the mass public I think they probably aren't aware of my directing history but I think when you do the research it becomes super-clear. I think people that know me solely for XXX or Fast And Furious might be a little surprised but I directed a short film called Multi-Facial that was in Cannes," the actor explained. [The Star]
• Taylor Lautner says of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: "The whole cast is really close. It would be difficult for our characters if we weren't. It's a love triangle, and we need to understand each other. So the fact that we're close and can talk things through in rehearsals, and if we're out at dinner, we'll just randomly start talking about the scene we're shooting the next day . . . If we weren't able to do those things, I don't know where we'd be. [The L.A. Times]
• Here's a video of Stephan Jenkins of Third Eye Blind performing a song he says is about being in love with a lesbian [Gothamist]
• Zooey Deschanel says of the soundtrack to 500 Days of Summer: "If they were bonding over some shitty band, that would actually make me close the script. But the fact that they liked music that was approved by me, because they're bonding over the Smiths, I was, like, ‘Well, obviously!'" [Rolling Stone]
• Zooey Deschanel gives a more detailed assessment of the soundtrack to 500 Days of Summer here: [Esquire]
• "When I first started acting and auditioning, people wanted me to be as generic as possible. When you're going out for the part of 'High School Girl #2,' people want you to be a stereotype. But I was never easily categorized. It was always difficult to reduce me to two sentences. Casting agents don't want unique-they want, 'That girl looks like a bitch,' or, 'That girl looks like a princess.' Eventually, though, you end up building your career on things that are different from other people, but in the beginning it was frustrating. I just try to be myself and as honest as possible-but I have limits." — Zooey Deschanel. [Black Book Magazine]
• An Oompa Loompah was detained by security guards at Florida's Westfield Broward mall earlier today. He had been promoting an upcoming comedy show, but a security officer cuffed him and detained him for several hours. Onlookers laughed and screamed, "Let the Oompa Loompa go!" [Peopel]

• Nine-year-old Rubina Ali has written an autobiography. In Slumgirl Dreaming: Journey to the Stars she says of Nicole Kidman: "I really liked her, but she was very quiet and didn't speak much..."

• "I think she was a bit shy." She adds that she found Kidman "strange" because she refused to come out of her trailer while shooting a Schweppes commercial with Ali because she seemed to be afraid of going out in the sun. [The Daily Mail]
• Debbie Rowe is demanding that her friend make a retraction after giving Extra emails that show she wasn't sure she wanted to adopt Michael Jackson's kids. One email says: "Do I want the kids? Hell no. Does it look good for me to ask for them? Absolutely. I don't want to look like the woman who gave away her kids and just forgot about them." [People]
• Though TMZ is reporting that the LAPD is treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, police representatives announced today that it's not true. [CBS News]
• PETA is annoyed that there will be a butter sculpture of Michael Jackson at the Iowa State Fair and the organization has suggested that the sculptor use "non dairy buttery spread" instead. [Breitbart]
• There are rumors that Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri but Extra implores you not to believe it. [Extra]
• Tony Romo has been partying almost every night since his split from Jessica Simpson, but eyewitnesses say it seems like he's just hanging out with male friends, not trying to hook up with women. [People]
• Amy Winehouse's estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil has filed for divorce. Possibly related: Amy was photographed crying in Gatwick Airport. [The Daily Mail]
• Jon Gosselin came back from St. Tropez without girlfriend Hailey Glassman. When harassed by paparazzi who asked, "she ditched you in Nice?" Jon replied, "probably." He said she's staying in France but he had to come back to film Jon and Kate Plus 8. [Us]
• When Jon Gosselin came home to Pennsylvania his kids greeted him, yelling, "Daddy, daddy!" in the driveway. While he was away he said, "Every 10 minutes I keep thinking about the kids and missing them. Mady keeps calling me and asking me if I'm in France, but she doesn't understand where France is. I'm really looking forward to seeing them again in a few days." [People]
• Supposedly Jon Gosselin bought Hailey Glassman an engagement ring. Will this one have a skull on it too? [E!]
• According to her Tweets, Kim Kardashian lost her passport in Africa. Will she be stranded there forever?! [The Life Files]
• Dave Chappelle gave a free impromptu performance that drew thousands last night in Portland, Oregon. You can watch some videos here: [ONTD]
• Ugh. Anti-gay activists from the Westboro Baptist Church protested outside an American Idol concert in San Jose because Adam Lambert was performing. Fellow performer Michael Sarver Tweeted: "We are together in this thing. You mess with one you mess with all ten. We are strong and we are 1. For those outside protesting I say do not judge less ye be judged yourself. Guys don't mind these people, we are a strong family." [The Daily Express]
• Check out Brad Pitt and his slightly-grey beard on the cover of Wired here: [People]
• "Russell Brand To Play The Easter Bunny" [The Guardian]
• Zooey Deschanel's suggestion for summer fun? Wear "all-green and roll down a hill." [People]
• Lo Bosworth is dating lacrosse player Scott Hochstadt. [People]
• Kristen Cavallari is signed on for two seasons of The Hills. [E!]
• A judge dismissed a lawsuit for defamation filed by Donald Trump against the author of Trump Nation: The Art of Being the Donald. Trump claimed he was the victim of "actual malice" because the author's estimate of his wealth was too low. [Reuters]
• Daphne Zuniga will guest star on the new Melrose Place. [E!]
• Wendy Williams is campaigning to get Whitney Houston on her show. She told a reporter: "Print this: 'Hey Whitney, how you doin'? I'm looking for you! Love you! Mean it!'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy will perform in public for the first time since becoming Frace's first lady at Nelson Mandela's 91st birthday celebration at Radio City Music Hall. [Yahoo]
• Jane Fonda has moved in with music producer Richard Perry according to sources. [The Daily Express]
• According to Entertainment Weekly's in-depth personality test, if Dylan McDermott was forced to do karaoke, he'd pick the song "I Ran" by Flock of Seagulls. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Ben Hudson, who collaborated with Kanye West for his new album Straight No Chaser says, "You have to have people who will say boo to a goose. If Kanye sends me a mix and asks what I think, my temptation as a courtier might be to say, 'Why, your majesty, this is the finest mix that has ever been sent on g-mail.' But he respects my opinion, and I can respect that by giving it to him straight." He adds, "The other day Kanye said 'stop calling me boss, I'm your friend'. I just said 'cool.' I had to stop myself saying 'cool, boss.'" [The Telegraph]
• Matthew Fox says after Lost ends he's never doing another TV show. He explains: "That is not because I think film is better than television. Not at all, in some respects some of the best story telling is happening on television. I have done two TV shows - Lost and Party of Five - that have each run for six years. When you add it all up it is in the vicinity of 300 hours of television. I want to find a way to have more control over when I am working and when I'm not. I'm looking for more flexibility. I am (43) and a father of two children, and I don't want to miss them growing up. I don't want to find myself 10 years from now feeling like I was an absentee father because I was so focused on my career." [TV Guide]
• Daniel Radcliffe says J.K. Rowling promised him she's not writing a book/film about Harry's adventures as an adult. He adds, "I grew up around gay people my entire life, basically, that's possibly why I'm quite camp, and some people think I'm gay when I meet them, which I think is awesome. It's always good to keep them guessing. But I think it's wonderful that Dumbledore was outed as gay." [The Telegraph]

• Remember this report that Quentin Tarantino asked Brad Pitt to join the cast of Inglourious Basterds over some wine and some weed?

Quentin says: "That was Brad. He did the fabrication. He can take a Coke can and make it - functional." [NY Mag]

• Unsolicited uterus update: "Is Penelope Cruz pregnant?" Is she? [Page Six]
• Matt Damon has launched a new humanitarian project, Water.org, aimed at bringing clean water sources to nearly 890 million people at risk of disease. [Mirror]
• "Why I Waited Until 44 To Do My First Nude Scene, By The Proposal Star Sandra Bullock." Actually, she doesn't explain that, but she does say: "If you're naked and you're trying to be sexy — you don't really make as much money as if you're naked and you're funny." [Daily Mail]
• NYC Artist Dash Snow has died of a drug overdose; his brother, Maxwell Snow, dated Mary-Kate Olsen. [ONTD, Page Six]
• What will the Harry Potter stars do after the the movies are over? Daniel Radcliffe hopes to head back to the stage, but also "sleep"; Emma Watson will attend college, but would like to work with directors Alfonso Cuaron and Guillermo del Toro; Rupert Grint says: "I look forward to seeing what else is out there and to move on, really." [USA Today]
• In a poll, Hermione was voted the favorite Harry Potter character. And! "Some 51% thought [Emma] Watson would have the best post-Potter career, with a large majority (67 percent) approving the idea of her appearing naked." Eyeroll! [Reuters]
• Uh, the Vatican approves of the latest Harry Potter movie, since it makes the debate over good versus evil crystal clear. [Mirror]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is "resentful" that Guy Ritchie has been hanging around lately. But, you know, Madge and Guy were married for eight years and have three kids together. So. As for Jesus, a source says Madonna likes him because "He's pretty and she can boss him around." [Gatecrasher]
• Pity the Poles! Britney's Circus tour won't be stopping in Warsaw, due to a contractual dispute. [AP]
• Robert Redford got married on Saturday! The bride was a German Fräulein named Sibylle Szaggars; the ceremony took place at St. Catherine Church in Hamburg. Herzlichen Glückwunsch! [AP]
• Nicole Kidman's daughter, Sunday Rose, has turned one year old, and Nic and husband Keith Urban celebrated with a "little cake." Also, Keith says, "My wife made a beautiful video that covered her first year and we gave that to all the family." The kid is already a film star. [Daily Express]
• David Beckham has a new tattoo: The ring of roses around his arm has one flower for each year of marriage to wife Victoria. Sweet. [Daily Mail]
• Is Simon Cowell worth £100 million a year? That's what he's negotiating for to stay on American Idol. [Mirror]
• An X Factor fan lost her purse and Simon Cowell gave her a wad of his own cash. He can spare it! [EW]
• The LAPD is treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, and Dr. Conrad Murray is the focus of the investigation. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's lawyer denies that she accepted $4 million to walk away from the custody battle. He says: "Ms. Rowe has not accepted — and will not accept — any additional financial consideration beyond the spousal support she and Michael Jackson personally agreed to several years ago." The New York Post printed a story claiming that Rowe had struck a deal with the Jackson family, and her lawyer is calling it "unequivocally false." [TMZ, CBS News, Reuters]
• Debbie Rowe sent emails to a friend which say: "I'm not going after custody. These kids are not mine. They were never mine. They were always Michael's. I was Michael's best friend." [Extra]
• Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, is not fully cooperating with official requests for medical records. [TMZ]
• The DEA is trying to find out who supplied Michael Jackson with the powerful anesthesia Propofol. [TMZ]
• "A maker of the potent anesthetic propofol found in Michael Jackson's home has been contacted by federal officials investigating the pop star's death and has recalled tens of thousands of vials of the drug after two tainted lots sickened dozens of patients." [AP]
• "I never saw him on drugs. Not once. He deliberately did it away from us. He didn't want his family to know anything about that part of him." — Tito Jackson on Michael's drug use. [Mirror]
• Jack Wishna, a Las Vegas businessman who tried to organized comeback shows for Michael Jackson, says the pop star would move a bunch of mattresses on to the floor so he and all his kids could play, jump up and down and sleep in the same room. In addition, he would leave his Christmas trees up for about seven months. [E!]
• At this link, you'll find similarities and differences between real-life super agent Ari Emanuel and the character inspired by him, Entourage's Ari Gold. [Independent]
• Zooey Deschanel was supposed to headline a screening and Q&A of her film 500 Days Of Summer on Monday, but she'd already headed to Ireland where she's shooting Your Highness, a fantasy flick in which she plays a princess. Zooey sent a recorded statement in which she said, "Umm, I guess I should maybe answer a few questions preemptively. ... I did the movie because I liked it." [Observer]
• Vanessa Hudgens will be in a movie called Bandslam, playing a character named Sa5m, and — this is important — the 5 is silent. [People]
• Emily Blunt joins Matt Damon in Adjustment Bureau, a movie based on a Philip K. Dick short story. [Variety]
• Russell Brand: The voice of the Easter Bunny. In a live action/CGI family comedy called I Hop, to be released in March 2011. [Variety]
• Miley Cyrus will star in Wings, a movie based on a novel about a high-school girl who sprouts a pair of wings and learns that she is a fairy. [Variety]
• Hugh Jackman's signed on to appear in Avon Man, in which guys laid off from an auto dealership end up working as Avon salesmen. Jackman + makeup + comedy? We're in. [Variety]
• Usher has a summer camp, Camp New Look, that invites 130 children to spend two weeks in Atlanta learning about the business side of sports and entertainment. Hey says: "These kids come here and they're like 'Oh, wow … we're going to learn about entertainment!' But they leave engaged in life and knowing that, 'I can have a future outside of music.' That's what makes me most proud." [USA Today]
• Uh-oh. Robert De Niro is a victim of an art scam? He is gonna take you down. Take you down to Chinatown. [Reuters]
• Hmm, I didn't know that Rashida Jones was dating President Obama's speechwriter, Jon Favreau. Where have I been? [Page Six]
• Q-Tip has inked a deal to publish his memoir, titled Industry Rules. Is one chapter titled "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo"? [mediabistro.com]
• Interesting piece about Angie Dickinson, who starred in the 1974-78 NBC series Police Woman, for which she earned a Golden Globe award and Emmy nominations as L.A. police officer Sgt. Pepper Anderson. The show paved the way for future female-driven cop shows. [LA Times]
• Congrats To Joey McIntyre and his wife, who are expecting their second child in December. [People]
• Some guy was trying to sue Janet Jackson, claiming that her bodyguards beat him up in a club, but the case was dismissed due to a lack of evidence. [Goathamist]
• Aerosmith bass player Tom Hamilton is recovering from non-invasive surgery and will miss some tour dates. [Reuters]
• Jane Fonda and music producer Richard Perry: It's on. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which grungy young starlet's idea of a good time is getting stoned with her ex-hippie parents?" [Gatecrasher]
• "When you have three kids, you've got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on." — Jada Pinkett Smith spills about her sex life. [Page Six]
• "[She] wipes the floor with me every time I play her." — Daniel Radcliffe, who says Emma Watson is a pro at table tennis. [The Sun]
• "I respect criticism. But I know more about film than most of the people writing about me. Not only that, I'm a better writer than most of the people writing about me. And I can write film criticism better than most of the people writing about me. [My goal was] to get the biggest standing ovation of the festival, and I got it [...] Sometimes it's your time to be Elvis, and that was my time." — Quentin Tarantino, on the mixed reviews of Inglourious Basterds and its reception at Cannes. [NY Mag]
• "I'm a trained astronaut, and it's my time to go." — Lance Bass is still hoping to head to space. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't have his number, so haven't spoken to him. But I can safely say that his insisting that girls would choose me over him that they would not. That they do not. He is the much prettier and can be much more charming. And he can do that thing of being sultry and sexy." — Daniel Radcliffe, on Robert Pattinson. [The Daily Beast]
• "Although my grief over Michael could not be any deeper, I am not on suicide watch as some of the cheaper 'rags' would have you believe." — Elizabeth Taylor. [CNN]

• Reports are emerging that, on June 26, Angelina Jolie made an un-publicized, under-the-radar trip to visit wounded soldiers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

She did not have an entourage. She gave out gift bags with $1000 Best Buy gift certificates. All this is only coming out now because a wife of a wounded soldier blogged about it and a few people took pictures, which can be seen at the link. [ONTD]

• Lindsay Lohan and Kristi Kaylor — who runs Lohan's fashion line — have started a production company together. Several projects are in the works, including a TV show called Faux Real, which would be like Entourage, but in the fashion world; and a "docu-cause" TV show in conjunction with a charity. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson: Bringing home a kid? Ryan tells Glamour UK: "My oldest brother is adopted and I have every intention of adopting at some time. I'm very grateful for having my brother in my life. I couldn't be more pro-adoption. There are plenty of kids in the world that need it." [ET]
• Beyoncé will not turn her back on you! She has a "strict" rule for her "I Am ... Sasha Fierce" tour: Photographers aren't allowed to shoot her from behind. [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney heals! He toured the ruins of L'Aguila, Italy — where thousands were left homeless after an April earthquake — and promises he'll shoot a film in the area, which should help the local economy. [USA Today, Mirror]
• Ryan Seacrest is working on a contract extension that will give him a major pay raise and make him one of the highest-paid reality hosts on television. Last season he made just under $5 million — about $100,000 per episode. [Reuters]
• This should be interesting: Chinese developers are working on a scaled-down replica of Neverland Ranch as a tribute to Michael Jackson. [Reuters]
• "By all accounts from those who have watched and been close to [Michael Jackson's] children, Prince Michael, 12, Paris-Michael Katherine, 11, and Blanket (Prince Michael II), 7, are not only normal, but model children: unaffected by fame, sweet, polite and very smart." [AP]
• Hmm. This report claims that Paris Jackson wants to record a tribute track for her father. [The Sun]
• The night before the public memorial for Michael Jackson, there was a private open-casket viewing where family members talked and cried. [People]
• Joe Jackson will attend a memorial service for Michael Jackson in the family's hometown of Gary, Indiana. [AP]
• The LAPD is investigating Michael Jackson's prescription drug history. [Breitbart]
• A former bodyguard claims Michael Jackson would leave doctors offices "out of it" and "sedated." [TMZ]
• More drug stuff here. [TMZ, NY Post]
• Joe Jackson suspects foul play in the death of his son. [ABC News]
• Michael Jackson used aliases — employees' names —- to get prescription drugs. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's body is temporarily in a crypt belonging to Motown founder Berry Gordy. [People]
• Please. No. Please. Joe Simpson is pitching an Ashlee Simpson "concept album" on which she would sing Michael Jackson songs. Ugh. We need to nip this in the bud. [Page Six]
• Flying the friendly skies: French president Nicolas Sarkozy has named his new £50 million jet "Carla," after his third wife. [Telegraph]
• Mary Louise Parker is naked and baking a pie in this Esquire post, which has the browser tag "Mary Louise Parker Ass." Also, MLP has written "A Thank-You Note To Men," in which she says: "You can fix my front door, my sink, and open most jars…" [Esquire]
• By the by, Kristen Stewart thinks the pregnancy rumors about her are "ridiculous." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kate Gosselin made a "secret, whirlwind" trip to Hollywood; Jon Gosselin is "in love" with a 22-year-old "party girl" named Hailey. Why Radar has pictures of Hailey holding a gun to someone's head is anyone's guess. [RadarOnline]
• In this piece, a beauty consultant speculates on all the waxing and skin treatments Sacha Baron Cohen must have gone through to become Brüno. [Daily Express]
• Have you read the bestselling novel Little Bee? BBC Films has acquired the story; Nicole Kidman will star and produce. (The plot: A16-year-old Nigerian orphan meets a vacationing upper-middle-class British couple who've wandered into an area outside the safety of their resort.) [Variety]
• A Jay-Z book — in which he comments about and tells the stories behind his lyrics — is in the works. [Observer]
• Lil' Wayne was supposed to perform in the Bahamas last year, but didn't show up, so "police went to his hotel room" and "found him passed out and unwilling to perform." Cue the lawsuit! [Page Six]
• Why was Jamie Foxx harassing Rihanna at a club? [Page Six]
• David Arquette plans on living inside of a Plexiglas box in New York City for a couple of days to raise money for the hungry. Interesting. [AP]
• Leonardo DiCaprio has settled a dispute with his Hollywood Hills neighbors over a basketball court on his property. [E!]
• Julianne Moore has pulled out of a film in which she'd play Hillary Clinton 12 days before production started in London; Hope Davis will take the role. [Telegraph]
• Zooey Deschanel was asked if she listened to any She & Him while shooting 500 Days Of Summer, and replied: "No, what am I, a jerk? I'm not going to go listen to my own music on set." [WSJ]
• Zooey has joined the cast of Your Highness, a comedy in which an arrogant, lazy prince must complete a quest to save his father's kingdom. Zooey plays the "virginal bride." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Best wishes and speedy recovery to Mariska Hargitay, who tripped over an umbrella while filming Law & Order: SVU in NYC and had to get 13 stitches. [Gatecrasher]
• "Chrissie Hynde still hard-rocking and sassy as ever as she talks about new album." [Mirror]
• "Monty Python's The Life Of Brian has been voted the most controversial film of all time by movie buffs." [Mirror]
• Jerry Seinfeld is the pitchman for a bank "in the boonies of Australia." Serenity now! [Page Six]
• "Raven-Symoné is not pregnant nor did she give birth." Noted! [People]
• Blind items! "Which online columnist is so aggressive about getting on TV that one network warned its male talent to keep a distance from her while she visited LA to cover the Michael Jackson story? She's already slept with several men who could help her career… Which wife in the middle of a nasty divorce is secretly dating a successful businessman? The affair, if it went public, would complicate the litigation, and her hot-tempered husband can be scary." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which freaky actor - who currently has a girlfriend - hit on a wardrobe consultant on the set of his latest film with the line, 'I like those jeans. Can I have your number?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "My family don't generally say that they're related to me - my sister doesn't say she's my sister — because they don't want to be judged or lauded based on who I am. I think my parents are happy about my career now, but originally I was like, 'Why don't you support whatever I want to do? If I wanted to sell beef on the street why wouldn't you want to support me?' But it's not about that. Parents never stop being parents, and yet you want them to be your friends at a certain age and that's just not going to happen." — Lucy Liu. [Daily Express]
• "I was no longer in control of my life. I thought I wanted certain things, but I didn't. I got lost. I felt suffocated, miserable and gross. I should never have gone down that route or got sucked in to all the publicity. I was typecast as myself. Too many people weren't getting past what they read about me. That was damaging. I can tell from experience it's bad for you, and bad for your career. So I took a break, went away for a while and let things calm down." — Ben Affleck, on his high-profile relationship with Jennifer Lopez. [ContactMusic]
• "I'd rather date someone who's regular. But what often happens is that she faces huge criticism like , ‘Why her? She's Miss. Ordinary.' …There is something quite devious about my personality. I'll do all the right things. I'll be the upstanding gentleman but behind closed doors, I want to let loose. As long as I know my secrets aren't going to get out. You know what I mean?" — Idris Elba. And! If you are interested, there's video of him speaking in his native English accent. [Necole Bitchie]
• "You can't help but have a punk aesthetic, to rebel against technology and the way music is presented to people these days. Real rock and roll isn't about MySpace pages and digital music. Those are accessories. That's the scarf on the jacket of real rock and roll." — Jack White, producer, band member, collaborator and head of Third Man record label. Oh! This interactive thingy is pretty cool. [WSJ]
• "I've gone bankrupt about four times now. My manager wants to shoot me. Every dollar I earn goes on the show. Now we're finally getting to a place where it's not bankruptcy. Then again, with another tour coming up soon I'll probably be homeless again." — Lady GaGa doesn't seem to have a savings account. [The Sun]

• Forbes compiled a list of high-earning celebrities under 30, and Beyoncé is at number one: She brought home an estimated $87 million over the last year, which buys a lot of leotards. [Mirror]

• Lindsay Lohan turned down a role in The Hangover, because she said the screenplay "had no potential." Or maybe she didn't want to play a hooker with a heart of gold in a sorta sexist movie? [Page Six]
• A Facebook movie? Starring Shia LaBeouf as Mark Zuckerberg? Ok. [Gatecrasher]
• Did the Black Eyed Peas bite a track from musician Adam Freeland? [The Daily Swarm]
• Sharon Stone's rep says Sharon Stone did not have "air rage" and was not detained by police at the airport, but she was yelled at by a flight attendant. [Independent]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's new show, which will be like Project Runway, but for artists, has begun casting. According to this piece: 'Part of me was worried it would look too mercenary for certain artists,' she says. 'They might find it objectionable to use TV to talk about what they do.' The show might, she says, end up being 'more about people who feel comfortable with something risky,' by which she means the medium of TV itself. And yet, of course, the artwork created on the show can't be too risky, as it needs to be presentable to a prime-time audience." [mediabistro.com]
• Daniel Radcliffe injured! While filming Half-Blood Prince. He's fine. In fact, he says: "It was great actually, it was brilliant. "I was doing this scene where I fight a giant snake and, being the hi-tech, multi-million production that we are, the snake was being played by our stunt co-ordinator holding a long pole with a boxing glove tied to the end with gaffer tape. On the last take before lunch he really planted the front foot. I was fending it off with a chair and was caught unawares. The chair went flying into my top lip. To be honest, it was brilliant because I saw the playback later and I go down like a bloody boxer." [Telegraph via Esquire]
• Daniel Radcliffe: "I've been out with a couple of women who have been older than me. I think it's the maturity thing more than anything else, but that was when I was younger – girls my age are now mature, so it's great. I've widened the field!" [People]
• Guess what millions of users were doing on the web yesterday? Watching Michael Jackson's memorial, which drew huge traffic. (Although not as much as the Presidential inauguration in January.)[MediwWeek]
• Since the memorial is costing L.A. between $1.5 million and $4 million, the city has set up a website where people can make donations to help pay the bill for police and other public servants. [USA Today]
• "Jackson Memorial Made Fans Into Family: At memorial, the Jackson family invited a stadium of people into their lives." Also: What do the yellow ties and flowers mean? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dionne Warwick on the Michael Jackson memorial: "He would've loved it. He would've loved it." [CNN]
• Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee promised a House resolution that would forever honor Michael Jackson, but such a resolution will likely face opposition in the House. [AP]
• CNN is now reporting "details" about Michael Jackson's body from a "source" — and the information — he was covered in needle marks; he was bald — sound just like the stuff The Sun printed, which turned out to be untrue. [CNN]
• The Austrian ambassador to the UK is urging people to protest Brüno, since it mocks his country, Nazis and... Josef Fritzl. [The Sun]
• Has the ending of Brüno been cut and changed? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• The Latoya Jackson scene — in which Sacha Baron Cohen's character tries to get Michael Jackson's phone number — has definitely been cut from Brüno. [Mirror]
• The last season of Lost: Producer Damon Lindelof says, "anything goes." [EW]
• Spotted: Mary J. Blige doing the Moonwalk. Wish there was video. [Page Six]
  
• If your dream is to see Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt dressed up as Sid and Nancy — where Joey is Nancy — your dream has come true. [ONTD, Cinemash]
• Roman Polanski's lawyers are still appealing for his decades-old case to be thrown out. [Mirror]
• Hamptons gossip: People drank champagne, Jon Bon Jovi sang, Nick Stahl fell asleep in the pantry! [NY Observer]
• Jodie Foster hearts surfing. [Page Six]
• Um, the Saturday Night Live skit "MacGruber" is going to be a movie. With Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer in negotiations to star alongside Will Forte and Kristen Wiig. Will the whole film be shot in a control room? [The Hollywood Reporter, Variety]
• 30 Rock episodes on Comedy Central? [Variety]
• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang banned from parade! [Daily Mail]
• Whatshisname wants to move to Australia after his divorce from Whatshername. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which musically inclined young celeb has been dubbed - behind his back, of course - 'Lip Gloss' because he always puts it on before hitting a red carpet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "You don't have to pay for it, and it's unconditional. It's hard when you get cut off the road in traffic, but it's what I try to practice." — Taraji P. Henson, who is pro-love. [Gatecrasher]
• "Not smoking is a neverending struggle. You put a cigarette to your mouth, you light it, and you know that you're hurting yourself. I did it at least 10 times a day and my throat hurt, my voice was gone, but I still was attracted to it. It's the same thing as dating someone who's not great for you, or staying up all night before you have something really important to do the next day. It's something that we all do, and I'm not exactly clear as to why we do it." — Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Mirror]
• "The death scene, to me, was quite a difficult scene to film just because I have never in my own life, up until quite recently, never been bereaved. You can never imagine what that's like so you sort of feel like a bit of a phony when you're acting it out, but hopefully I did OK in the end." — Daniel Radcliffe. [Mirror]
• "I am not trying to get back with the Countess in any way, as your spies suggested. We will remain friends and take care of our children." — Count Alex de Lesseps. [Page Six]
• "Weight doesnt matter. At the end of the day everybody has a different standard for what turns them on. There are probably tons of men out there that find thick librarians smokin hottt! LOL. The way i dress represents who i am and i think everyone should just dress in whatever makes them feel good. And just for good measure, Wilkinson added, "And while im totally flattered u like the way i look and dress...i just hope u dont make other women feel like they have to wear a 'cloak' if they dont look like a Playmate!" — Kendra Wilkinson, in response to blog What Would Tyler Durden Do, which used a picture of her to write: "If a girl is built like Kendra, she should dress exactly like Kendra. Every day, all the time...If the girl isn't built like Kendra, um…I don't know. I guess maybe an invisibility cloak or something. What's the point to even being a girl if you're not gonna look like Kendra?" [Celebuzz]

• Michelle Obama and "first tweens" Malia and Sasha skipped the health care talk President Obama gave on ABC last night and went to a Beyoncé concert instead.

Gawd, imagine sitting next to your mom while Sasha Fierce sings about Jay-Z's penis?!?! [ABC News]

• Late-breaking news: Jackie O seduced Marlon Brando? [Page Six]
• Also? Jackie may have had an affair with Bobby Kennedy? [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt's mom: On Team Aniston. Insert eyeroll emoticon. [MSNBC]
• Kate Gosselin used a local lawyer when filing for divorce, but Jon Gosselin chose Charles J. Meyer, one of the Philadelphia area's most high-profile family law attorneys. [MSNBC]
• "Jon 'hurt' by Kate's remarks as she cites his weekend 'activities.'" [CNN]
• "I'm sorry. And I mean it," writes Perez Hilton. [Perez]
• Here's a mug shot of the dude who allegedly punched Perez, whom you may or may not secretly admire. [TMZ]
• Perez is suing the guy who gave him a black eye. [Page Six]
• Will.I.Am says: " would hate for my silence to be misconstrued… I do not condone harassment or violence of any kind…" [Just Jared]
• A 22-year-old drama student from the University of Indiana is planning to stage a play called The Last Days Of Heath Ledger. [Fox News]
• TMZ says it's not looking good for Farrah Fawcett. [TMZ]
• Have you seen that kid who tried to give Megan Fox a rose? You could get $5,000 if you know who he is. [Page Six]
• Russell Simmons: Seen making out with the gorgeous French actress/model Noemie Lenoir. [Page Six]
• Joy Behar's wedding: Off. How does her boyfriend feel about it? "Steve is fine," Behar says. "He says, 'Do whatever you want.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse lyrics wrapping paper and greeting cards. No, really. [The Sun]
• Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint went to a pub and got so drunk they couldn't remember the name of the film Harry Portter and The Order Of The Phoenix. [Daily Star]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton wanted to smoke a cigarette in a London club and was shut down. [Daily Mail]
• Two paparazzi were robbed a few hours after they snapped pix of Robbie Williams… and argued with his entourage. Coincidence? [USA Today]
• Launching this fall: Rosie Radio on XM. Rosie O'Donnell will discuss news and entertainment and chat with guests. "I think it'll be good for me," Rosie says. [AP]
• Ryan Reynolds will star in Buried, playing a civilian contractor who's kidnapped in Iraq and awakens buried in a coffin in the desert, armed only with a cell phone, a candle and a knife. [Variety]
• The estranged daughter of Billy Bob Thornton has been indicted in the death of a one-year-old girl she was baby sitting. [AP]
• Kate Hudson is described as a "steakhouse hex," since she watched the Yankees game from a restaurant and her boyfriend's team lost. [Page Six]
• Seth Rogen "seems to have given up on his diet" since he dared to be seen "wolfing down pasta" at a "high-calorie dinner." [Page Six]
• Tatyana Ali from the Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air is in the news, yay! Oh, but she is suing a company of losing her money, boo. [TMZ]
• An auto parts store in Whittier, CA is "paying tribute" to mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman with an interesting VW display involving a mannequin and a bunch of baby dolls. Traffic-stopping image at the link. [LA Times]
• The ABBA museum: Scrapped due to a lack of cash. If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. (Not really.) [NY Times]
• Get to know Scout Taylor-Compton: She has been cast as Lita Ford in The Runaways alongside Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning. [Variety]
• Oh-Snap-Blind-Item! "Which meanspirited starlet e-mailed a co-star's sex tape to a lengthy list of mutual friends?" [Gatecrasher]
• "In 1979, I was teaching nude photography at Parsons school in New York. I needed models for the course – and one day a 20-year-old called Madonna Ciccone showed up. She was just another citizen, a girl trying to make ends meet. She was quiet, taciturn. I'm not sure it was something she enjoyed. She did it for the money, in this case $30. She was relaxed, composed, did as asked. Some people are stiff, some are there to do a job, some give a little more. She was in the middle: she did what she was told but nothing extra." — Martin Schreiber. Nude pic of her Magesty at the link. [Guardian]
• "I can't think of myself in terms of celebrity. It's just too weird. If the choice is between being constantly gawked at and sitting in a chair in a dark room, I prefer the dark room." — Johnny Depp. [Telgraph]
• "The island [I own] can be perceived as a luxury and it certainly is, but it provides me with simplicity and somewhere I can go where no one is looking at me or pointing a camera or a finger at me. I can just be: that's the importance of it. When we're there we do absolutely nothing. My kiddies don't have any toys there and they build little houses out of shells." — Johnny Depp. [Telegraph]
• "I don't feel I've ever played the same person twice. Even though I might have done a couple of comedies or a couple of romantic comedies, the characters are all very different to me," — To you, but not to us, Cameron Diaz. [Reuters]
• "To me, Mia's story's about what happens when you're never really loved in the course of your life. When nobody really takes care of you. You can end up extremely damaged. Thank God, my real life doesn't resemble poor Mia at all." — Hope Davis, on her In Treatment character. [The Daily Beast]
• "I think he's the only functional father. Lucius isn't a functional father. 'Proto' fathers Sirius and Dumbledore are dead, and there's no nice way to put that, so he's the only good image of a father really." — Mark Williams, who plays Aurthur Weasley in the Harry Potter films. [LA Times]
• "After several weeks of continued press coverage of Jon Peters' upcoming book, I want to make something very clear. I have never dated nor had a romantic relationship with Mr. Peters. My name has been continually linked to his romantic liaisons, and I want to put a stop to this lie." — Salma Hayek. [EW]
• "Best way to get over a broken heart? Listen to good music." — Zooey Deschanel, who is reportedly engaged to Ben Gibbard from Death Cab For Cutie. [Mirror]
• "I never look at myself, even in still photographs. I don't look at anything. I panic if there is a monitor in the room. I immediately go into like an anxiety attack. I'm insecure, I think most actors are pretty insecure… I'm not coping very well with all this. Really I'm insane and I don't know how to control my mouth, but I'm working on it." — Your friend Megan Fox. [Mirror]

• It had to happen eventually. David Beckham has dipped a toe in the choppy waters of retail, becoming a Celebrity Designer. You can buy his clothes for Adidas Originals starting this fall. [WWD]

• Madonna allegedly got her friend Marc Jacobs to write the INS and say model boy-toy Jesus Luz was a necessity to his label and deserved a US work permit. [Daily Express]
• Jesus Luz also had a rough time backstage at his last runway gig, the Jeffrey Fashion Cares AIDS benefit in New York. Says one backstage source, "None of the other models would talk to Jesus or even look at him. They were gossiping like catty girls about how they couldn't wait for his career to fizzle out." The other male models, see, feel that Luz has been given unfair advantages because of his relationship with Madonna. Which is absolutely true, and absolutely beside the point, since any modeling career is built on lucky breaks that harden into unfair advantages. Normally models understand this better than anyone. [NYDN]
• Brides.com had Project Runway sprite Christian Siriano design fantasy dresses for celebrity brides-to-be Uma Thurman, Amy Adams, Zooey Deschanel, and Rachel Bilson. Surprise: They're all about "drama"! [Brides.com]
• Forever 21 is close to opening its 19,000 square foot flagship in Tokyo. [WWD]
• Ed Hardy is now a wine you can drink. I actually noticed this about a month ago, when I dropped by my favorite bottle store one afternoon and was greeted by the owner straightening a display of $10 bottles festooned with skulls; he said branding maestro Christian Audigier's vodka ranks with Ketel One, but that only the Cabernet Sauvignon is worth trying, among the wines. The rest, he said, breaking down a box covered in giant dripping daggers and tiger heads, are too sweet. I bought a Portuguese red and walked home, thinking troubled thoughts about branding and its increasingly oblique relationship to any given product's essential qualities. [LA Times]
• Which, if you think about it, is also the operating principle behind: Rebecca Taylor Cupcakes. [FWD]
• Troubled department store Barneys has announced an exclusive lower-priced menswear line by Paul Smith. Suits, basics, and shirts will cost 20-30% less than the same items from the Paul Smith collection. Smith must be a busy man; this collection is on top of a sheaf of brands that includes Paul Smith London, Paul Smith Jeans, PS Paul Smith, Paul Smith Blue, Paul Smith Black. There are just so many ways to sell monkey t-shirts. [WWD]
• Woman buys $700 Louis Vuitton Speedy size 30. Woman receives Louis Vuitton Speedy size 25. Woman returns the wrong sized bag. Louis Vuitton refuses the return, claiming it found a single human hair inside. Woman processes credit-card chargeback. And people wonder why the "luxury" industry is in trouble. [Consumerist]
• Peter Som has had one of the roughest times in fashion as of late. After being fired from Bill Blass, the talented designer he launched his own line, only to have his financial backers beat a hasty retreat as the retail climate turned frosty last fall. Still, Marymount College gave him their designer of the year award and invited him to speak at their annual graduate fashion show. I hope the award came with some money attached, so the man can get back to making beautiful women's clothes. [WWD]
• The creative director of Sonia Rykiel has left the company, after fewer than 18 months in charge. Gabrielle Greiss, who worked as Sonia Rykiel's chief assistant for three years before taking over the creative direction of the brand, will be replaced by a design team overseen by company president Nathalie Rykiel. [British Vogue]
• Zac Posen recreated his fall runway show at a Houston Saks Fifth Avenue for charity. And for "market research." [WWD]
• Banana Republic hired an Italian-trained menswear creative director away from Brooks Brothers last year, and now he's making the chain's offerings more like traditional tailoring. Only with places to put your wired accessories. [Esquire]

• Lindsay Lohan's spoof singles video doubled as an ad for her leggings line and self-tanner. [WWD]
• And Zooey Deschanel wrote and performed a ditty about cotton — the fabric of our lives! [Videogum]

• Could Madonna be returning for another season's duty as the face of Louis Vuitton? Rumors say this fall's campaign will maintain both her Madgesty and photographer Steven Meisel. [Fashionologie]
• Eddie Van Halen is launching a namesake sneaker, the EVH. They look exactly like chucks. [WWD]
• Not to be outdone, Puma and Yves Saint Laurent have released a sneaker. (Puma also did kicks for Alexander McQueen and Sergio Rossi, which are both, like YSL, brands owned by parent company PPR, which makes sense since Puma is itself part-owned by the luxury goods giant.) The shoes are surprisingly...ugly. The toe box looks like one of those godawful Clarks Wallabee shoes that came briefly into fashion and set the bar of taste low enough for Crocs to duck under shortly thereafter. I had a friend who called those shoes with that terrible toe "piss-catchers." Which was accurate. [WWD]
• Diane Pernet reports on a rumor "from a very good source" that ex-Nina Ricci designer Olivier Theyskens will be brought in to revive the house of Elsa Schiaparelli. Which would be a much better fit for Theyskens than Halston, which was last week's rumor. [ASOF]
• Georgina Chapman, otherwise known as the co-founder of Marchesa and Mrs. Harvey Weinstein, says she made her own wedding gown. "I didn't finish my dress until about three days before my wedding — I had the flu and was stitching it from my bed," she told New York. Her only advice for the "impulsive" bride who might choose one of her $3,100-$6,500 dresses off the rack on her way to the registry office, is that she make sure she can walk in it. [NYMag]
• Same-store sales at H&M, the world's third-largest apparel retailer by revenue, fell 3% in the month of March. Sales at fast fashion chains had been more resilient in this downturn than the figures for department and boutique stores; this drop took analysts surprise. [WSJThe thing about this economy is that there's always ample evidence business could be worse: Levi's earnings fell 50.5% last quarter. [WWD]
• The Texas-based private investment group that took J. Crew public three years ago has sold its last remaining shares in the troubled retailer. J. Crew's share price has fallen more than 60% in the past year. [Crain's]
• Duncan Quinn, the brand whose last ad featured a man strangling a nearly naked woman on the hood of a car, went for restraint this season. The new campaign is a man holding a sawed-off shotgun. [Racked]
• Tory Burch and David Yurman are now ratified members of the Council of Fashion Designers of America board. [WWD]