[Sydney, October 25. Image via Getty]

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - OCTOBER 25: A women dressed as a zombie poses during the Thrill The World 2009 event, which sees fans from all over the world dance simultaneous to Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' at Luna Park on October 25, 2009 in Sydney, Australia. The event aims to raise money for charity and break the current world record for the Largest Simultaneous Thriller Dance. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)

A remote-controlled zombie with a brain-shaped remote makes quite the stocking stuffer.

So many winners on this page, but the golden fertility idol pen holder and the Lost Ark bank are the ones that really caught my eye. The legless Short Round statue is terrifying, and the Delorean is cool, but not super useful.

Ooh — sure to be a hot toy come Christmastime! They made the doll of Tiana from The Princess And The Frog super pretty. The plush frogs are cute too, and there must be someone you know who's dying for a Slimer bank?

Attention Twihards! You can choose from THREE different kinds of Sparkle Vamp. There's the Byronic effete version; the über-pale Barbie version and the "very detailed" sick of Hollywood bullshit model. ZOMGSPARKLEVAMP4EVA! Question: Where is my Buff Werewolf? Team Jacob has been robbed.

In case you didn't believe that Robert Pattinson's glare had been recreated: Believe.

Prefer wizards to sparkle vamps? Draco Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange dolls should satisfy you.

Ben Linus bobblehead: Creeptastic!

Remember when Strawberry Shortcake got a makeover? This is what she looks like now. Shed a tear for your destroyed childhood.

Can we just pretend we didn't see the pages of busty Anime girls with removable clothing? No? Dammit.

When I say I need an R2D2 USB hub, I mean now.

Question: Is the Heidi Klum Barbie supposed to look like Heidi Klum? Because it doesn't. (The legs. So thin. I cry.)

Question: If you purchase a zombie oil painting, have you made an intelligent art-buying decision? As in, the kind that takes BRAINS?

Question: Can you believe that there is a Twilight flash drive — complete with Cullen family crest — and it's actually pretty cool? (ZOMG WHAT AM I SAYING? I HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED BY THE SPARKLE VAMP)

Question: May I please have life-size versions of the Jonathan Adler Barbie dress — AND LAMP — for my wardrobe and bedroom?

Earlier: Entertainment Earth: Weird Gifts For The Freaks & Geeks On Your List

Emma Stone looks delightfully elegant; the blood-red adds the right touch of gore.


Amber Heard skews a touch Judy Jetson - but virginal white is compulsory in a horror ingenue.


I want some princess pun here, but keep coming back to "Snow White and Rose Dead" which doesn't even reference a first-tier fairy tale! Your thoughts?


Rosie Perez never sacrifices comfort for elegance.


Zombie Abe says: a brain divided cannot stand.


Susie Castillo's getup would be darling if her shorts weren't pulling - but we've all been there.


A getup like Lorena Torres' can only succeed if it's completely sleek. I wouldn't say this is a roaring success.


Zom queen?


Samaire Armstrong looks easy, breezy, cute. And dig the hat! Even if it's inadvertent!


Bai Ling is absolutely right: a zombie premiere is exactly the place for white tie-level gowns.

[Images via Getty]

Bronne, who is normally a fun-loving, laid back guy, totally flipped out at the disrespect to his zombie magazine (they publish those!?). He loves zombies, but didn't see the irony in the fact that while drunk and tap-dancing, Emilee was actually very zombie-like.

First, the much-anticipated Nan Goldin shoot. Goldin almost never shoots fashion these days — I think I saw an editorial for a German children's magazine included in the International Center of Photography's current "Weird Beauty" fashion photography exhibit, which probably comprises, along with this story, her total fashion output of the last five years — so seeing her work with such a versatile model is special.

The shoot is raw and the colors are saturated. The whole thing looks moody, like stills from some slightly bygone film.

Excuse the prominent gutters in these scans; I was selfishly trying to keep the issue intact, because it's so beautiful.

I want this Alexander Wang sweater. And the attitude to wear it. Unfortunately my prospects of developing the wherewithal to fund or develop either are slim.

Now, the Steven Klein editorial, entitled "Lara Fiction Noire," is intense. It's set in some kind of dingy concrete warehouse, and opens with a shot of Lara Stone in Dolce & Gabbana underwear, handcuffed by her ankles to a bedframe. (It might refer to an earlier shot of Jane Birkin in the same pose, apparently by Steven Meisel, provenance unknown.) The male model co-stars (Lara's victims? kidnappers? playmates?) are Travis Hanson and Doug Porter.

It gets ever more disturbing as the disguises come into play.

And then the weapons.

Not to mention the disturbing sense of observing a ménage-à-trois taking place amidst an air of violence.

The ambiguity of the locus of control here, my own uncertainty as to which person has the power, gives me a strong feeling of unease.

The above five images were all included in the magazine itself — but they do not comprise the entire story. Another three pictures were apparently spiked by French Vogue. Klein put them up on his website, with the helpful legend "UNCENSORED" in big, red type.

And the out-takes are doozies. I am almost too disturbed by this violent flesh-eaten zombie model car-crash event that Lara, in the driver's seat, is taking totally in stride, to frame my thoughts into words. But I also feel like this is the most affecting and thought-provoking editorial in the entire issue.

This is in the register of a David Lynch film, full of frightful imagery and the barest hints of a plot more horrifying than any slasher flick. What does it mean? Who has the power? Why is that man's face covered in blood?

For some reason, I find this one scarier than the one with the male model who might as well be a burn victim or someone Lara recently flayed and ate. Lara just looks so serene, so at peace with the hell around her, it's chilling. (Also, what happened to her stocking?) This is like a nightmare, come to life inside a magazine, and it's some of the most moving work I've seen from Klein in years. I'm transfixed and appalled and exhilerated and exquisitely, perfectly disturbed, all at once. Like any art form, I suppose it's not the role of fashion to make anyone comfortable. Luckily it's almost the end of the day; I need a drink after all that.

I might nurse it as I rewatch this behind-the-scenes video, which Klein also just uploaded to his site. Seeing the bloodied male model stirring slightly as Klein shoots is somehow all the more disturbing.












Earlier: French Vogue: All Lara Stone, All The Time

Related: Steven Klein [Official Site]

[New York, February 6. Image via Getty.]

Two dressed-up participants to New York ComicCon 2009, the city's main comic books fair, hand out copies of comic books, in New York on February 6, 2009. The three-day event, which runs 6-9 February, offers access to fans to the top names in comic books, television, gaming and film, catering to the sci-fi, horror and fantasy crowd, with hundreds of exhibitors and dozens of world-known artists attending.
(EMMANUEL DUNAND/AFP/Getty Images)

Earlier:

[Irwindale, California; January 13. Image via INF]

ANA MARIE: Good morning.

MEGAN: Hello! I now have coffee brewing, it smells good enough I almost feel like I don't hate the world.

ANA MARIE: I am discussing hotel reward points with other reporters and eating bacon and fruit. THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS.

MEGAN: Bacon is always a part of the breakfast of champions, and I have now determined what I shall be eating once we finish. Porky deliciousness, which is really just a way to bring up Ted Stevens, who Palin has decided should resign.

ANA MARIE: FINALLY. Next, Palin will appoint herself as replacement.

MEGAN: You know that's coming.

ANA MARIE: Though I do not mean to suggest that Obama is inevitable!

MEGAN: Somehow, though, I don't see her having a warm relationship with Senator McCain when she gets there.

ANA MARIE: We on the trail have been discussing whether or not she will even invite McCain to Bristol's wedding — since he is, you know, the reason why she has to get married. In a just world, he'd officiate.

MEGAN: But they love each other! They always planned to get married! I'll bet she invited him for the gift because you know he ain't flying to Alaska.

ANA MARIE: I actually don't mean to be cynical about that. I mean, I am, but on the other hand: I thought I'd marry my high school bf, too.

MEGAN: Me too! True story: remember those machines in the mall that print business cards and invitations? We printed a fake wedding invite one time.

ANA MARIE:Who do you think WILL have a warm relationship with Sen. McCain? Mel Martinez?

MEGAN: Lindsay Graham's love for McCain will never, ever die.

ANA MARIE: No. He will die wearing the wedding dress he picked out.

MEGAN: He will have to be buried in it. I mean, you gotta admit, he does look really fabulous in it.

ANA MARIE: Guy behind me: "The first polls close in six days, nine hours, and two minutes."

MEGAN: Ok, Rainman. And where do polls close at 5:30?

ANA MARIE: West Viriginia? Maybe he's lying. Some kind of elaborate voter fraud project.

MEGAN: Maybe I am just better at math? It's slightly less elaborate than printing up flyers complete with logos and shit to pretend that Election Day has been moved. I mean, really?

ANA MARIE: What, it hasn't? Shit. I was looking forward to collecting more Hilton Honors points. Also, someone tell Mickey Mouse.

MEGAN: Dude, if they moved it to this week, I would totally be okay with that. It's Wednesday and I'm too tired to move to get the coffee I can now smell. I'm so bored I spent 5 minutes reading about Kwame Kilpatrick's cell and sexy texts just to not think about the election any more and then the damn reporters snuck it in there at the end anyway. Bastards.

ANA MARIE: I was watching a zombie movie last night and couldn't help wondering which party they'd vote for. This election has infected my brain.

MEGAN: I think the zombies, like al Qaeda, would want McCain to win, if only because, what with his arms, he seems like one of them. Yeah, I went there.

ANA MARIE: It's okay. It's hard not to.

MEGAN: Oh, and it turns out that Ashley Todd is not a McCain plant trying to turn people against Obama, she's a Ron Paul plant pretending to be a McCain plant trying to turn people against Obama to turn people against McCain. Soooo crazy. She's like the Manchurian Candidate and shit.

ANA MARIE: Personally, I think zombies would vote for Ron Paul!

MEGAN: He would be like the Pied Piper for zombies, I would agree. All that yelling, they'd be really distracted. Bonus points: after they voted, Ron Paul's living supporters could then serve as sustenance for the zombies. Bonus, bonus points: Democrats could finally accuse Republicans of mining the cemeteries of this great nation for voters.

ANA MARIE: There's a "Chicago machine politician" joke in there somewhere but I haven't finished my bacon.

MEGAN: I need a bacon butler in the morning. And a coffee steward.

ANA MARIE: So did Cindy McCain.

MEGAN: But why did she need John McCain?

ANA MARIE: I think the proper emphasis is, "Why did SHE need John McCain?" Or maybe, "Why did she NEED John McCain?" Sorry, that's totally the lack of bacon talking.

MEGAN: I am seriously going to have to go cook some damn bacon when we finish this.

ANA MARIE: Should we talk about Nicolle Wallace and her sexy under the bus pose?

MEGAN: Yes, I think we should. I'm glad she decided to tell Fred Barnes he'd better apologize.

ANA MARIE: She didn't really tell him that, she just busted out the whoop ass.

MEGAN: Which, good for her, make him squeal like the bitch he is. Who says women can't play political hardball? Don't fuck with Nicolle Wallace.

ANA MARIE: Usually it's just Bill Bennett that makes him do that. She's the velvet fist in an iron glove or whatever. (Speaking of Bill Bennett.) What I loved about Nicolle? She set her sights on Fred and did not let him out during that entire interview. SHE INVOLVED HER DOG IN THE MESSAGING. She's scarier than Mark Salter. He would just hurt you.

MEGAN: Did Fred Barnes make her puppy cry? That bastard!

ANA MARIE: Nicolle can DESTROY YOU. (From the interview: "We reached Wallace Monday night, enjoying a rare evening at home with her dog, Lily, who also joined the conversation at one point. "That's Lily protecting me from Fred Barnes," Wallace explained.")

MEGAN: Nicolle should figure out who suggested to Freddie Back that it was all her fault and destroy him. Rick Davis seems like enough of a backstabbing little diva to do it.

ANA MARIE: I think she has some ideas. No one in the press corps does tho... Seriously, favorite game right now is "who would be so stupid as to get on Nicolle's bad side?" Okay you have just made the obvious point that I should have. Davis. Totally. Wanted to do go to Saks himself

MEGAN: Also, let us take on short moment to point out that the purchases were all made by Robocaller extraordinaire Jeff Larson.

ANA MARIE: Who hasn't even denied it!

MEGAN: With whom one imagines Wallace doesn't necessarily work that closely.

ANA MARIE: Here's the other thing: Wallace is a Bushie. She knows how to hide illegal expenses. There would be no RNC disclosure of Wallace purchases. I kid, obviously. Though I only say that because I think she knows how to have me killed.

MEGAN: It does seem pretty junior varsity, I agree. And Nicolle is not JV squad.

ANA MARIE: Hold on. I have to get wanded.

MEGAN: Tell him to do it the sexy way.

ANA MARIE: I've been wanded! Wanded is one of the words I'll miss from the campaign. That and "manifest." As in a staffer telling me, "I'll manifest you." It sounds like one simply APPEARS somewhere.

MEGAN: Manifest destiny is all I can think of when you say that.

ANA MARIE: See, I think of manifestations.

MEGAN: I think I have proved once and for all that I paid way too much attention in class.

ANA MARIE: And I pay too much attention to the SciFi channel.

MEGAN: So, shall we briefly discuss the irony of the woman who wants to change the Constitution to give herself more power if she wins accusing her opponent of wanting to change the Constitution?

ANA MARIE: Do you think Palin would recognize the Constitution if she saw it? Like, the text? Maybe the part about guns...

MEGAN: I'm not sure she would recognize it if it walked up to her on the street Schoolhouse Rock style and slapped her for all the shit she's been talking about it behind its back.

ANA MARIE: But then she would shoot it.

Take Robert Englund (aka Freddie Kruger) and a former porn star (aka Jenna Jameson, mix in some zombies with a sprinkle of strippers with machine guns and what have you got? Zombie Strippers, which will have a limited release April 18-25, and then be available on DVD. The trailer is above.

Trailer Blazer: 'Zombie Strippers' [EW]