• Last night, David Letterman revealed that a CBS News employee is accused of trying to extort $2 million from him because he had sexual relationship with female employees.

The guy threatened to write a screenplay and a book about Letterman unless he was given money. Letterman says: "I was worried for myself, I was worried for my family. I felt menaced by this, and I had to tell them all of the creepy things that I had done." [AP]

• CBS is saying Letterman's accused extortionist was an employee at the news program 48 Hours named Robert Halderman, and he was arrested yesterday. [LA Times, Reuters, HuffPo]
• The New York Post is calling the Letterman incident a "sextortion" plot. [NY Post]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga's "Fame Kills" tour is dead. Canceled before it ever started. Refunds will be made available. [AP]
• A source says the Fame Kills ticket sales "sucked." Lady Gaga may tour, but play smaller venues. [TMZ]
• They're saying Lindsay Lohan poses on a "stripper pole" in ads for her line of leggings, 6126. But that pole looks structural! [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin says he had "no idea" he was being fired, and that he "found out just like everybody else … saw it on a laptop as an [Associated Press] newswire." His lawyer also says that Jon was going to "pull the plug" on the show weeks before TLC fired him. [People]
• Even though Jon has blocked the TLC crews from coming to the house, Kate Gosselin says: "Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show, and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children." [Gatecrasher]
• There's a Billboard cover story on Beyoncé, which reveals that she grossed some $53.5 million on her I Am… tour; she was the star and executive producer of the 2009 film Obsessed, which opened at No. 1 and has grossed more than $68.3 million in North America; the Knowles family has donated more than $2.5 million for transitional housing for Hurricane Katrina victims and storm evacuees in the Houston area; Beyoncé works with Feeding America to deliver more than 3.5 million meals to local food banks through fan donations; and, her father says: "Most people don't know this, but she's a really good painter." [ONTD via Billboard]
• WAIT WHAT?!?!? Liza Minnelli will do Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" in Sex And The City 2?!?!? Crap. Now that's something I want to see. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Simon Cowell's 50th birthday party — being held tomorrow at a mansion in Hertfordshire called Wrotham Park (it looks gorgeous!) — will have scantily clad showgirls and boys; tons of flowers; lots of food and cocktails; a smoker's tent; and performances by Rat Pack impersonators, Leona Lewis and maybe Lily Allen. Expect Kate Moss, Kylie Minogue, Donald Trump and possibly Paula Abdul to attend. [Daily Mail]
• Headline Of The Day: "Britney Spears Buys A Parakeet." [People]
• Britney's traveling aliases: Ms. Alotta Warmheart; Mrs. Diana Prince; Queen of the Fairy Dance and Mrs. Abra Cadabra. [Page Six]
• Weird: New York magazine's Emma Rosenblum sat next to Spencer Pratt when she attended a taping of The View yesterday. She writes: "So here are some facts about Spencie that you probably don't want to know, but I will tell you anyway: That necklace he's wearing is made of crystals, and he wears it to protect himself from evil. He has a 200-pound crystal from Peru in his house, which he had excavated and flown in specially. He's very proud of it. He laughs very loudly at anything that's semi-funny." [NY Mag]
• Since the Michael Jackson autopsy shows that the singer was healthy, it could be used against Dr. Conrad Murray: "It clearly establishes that Michael Jackson was a healthy person whose death appears to have been directly caused by the administration of some very powerful sedatives," says criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor Mark Werksman. "This autopsy report seems to clear the path for a prosecution that his death was caused by an overdose." [AP]
• "CBS anchor Katie Couric yesterday kicked back at her critics saying she thought the word 'gravitas' — the characteristic she is often accused of lacking — was 'Latin for testicles.'" [NY Post]
• Jay-Z and Alicia Keys: Shot a video at the Empire State Building on Wednesday. [Gatecrasher]
• Lil' Wayne will go on trial next March stemming from the January 2008 incident in which authorities found cocaine, Ecstasy and a handgun on his tour bus. [USA Today]
• Kate Hudson has bonded with Alex Rodriguez's daughters, Natasha and Ella. She's not doing as well with the Yankees, the players wives or girlfriends. [MSNBC Scoop via In Touch]
• Oliver Hudson and wife Erin Bartlett are expecting their second child. [NY Daily News]
• "Mary-Louise Parker certainly isn't ashamed of her new romance with singer Charlie Mars." Why should she be? [Page Six]
• Even though Randy and Evi Quaid have paid their bill for their stay at the San Ysidro Ranch, they still face the charges of burglary, conspiracy and defrauding an innkeeper. Court date: October 19. [TMZ]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has a "Pop Life" exhibit, and director McG hooked up with Takashi Murakami for a four-minute film starring actress Kirsten Dunst singing a cover of "Turning Japanese." Click the link for an insanely colorful picture: Kiki's wearing a bright blue wig! [WSJ]
• "A lawyer for John Travolta testified Thursday that he warned a former Bahamas senator she would not get away with an alleged scheme to extort $25 million from the movie star, and even wore a wire to secretly record their conversations." [AP, TMZ]
• No one likes Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Peter Sellars' production ofOthello at NYU's Skirball Canter: Audiences have been leaving in droves at intermission. [Page Six]
• "Michael Moore, champion of the working class, used non-union stagehands to film Capitalism: A Love Story." [Page Six]
• In a video at the link, Mary Forsberg Weiland talks about her memoir, Fall To Pieces: A Memoir Of Drugs, Rock 'N Roll, And Mental Illness. She talks about the modeling world, being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and how she and Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland did heroin and cocaine together. The book contains an anecdote about a Fourth of July party at Leonardo DiCaprio's house in Malibu, where the Weilands arrived in long-sleeved turtlenecks to hide needle tracks and scabs. [Blabbermouth]
• "Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams - even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims." [NY Daily News]
• "John Cleese takes a goose-step backwards with one-man show to fund £12million divorce." [Daily Mail]
• "Fame… It kind of kills the humanity and the humility of music for some reason. You're like this product all of a sudden and you have to stay in this Superman costume with people telling you that if you cut your hair, your career is over." — Maxwell, who no longer rocks the giant Afro he once did. [Washington Post]
• "Women don't like the humor when it's combined with inconsideration and insensitivity." — Larry David, on his dating life. [LA Times]
• "There are people that I want to work with but I'm too intimidated. There are a few people that I'd be worried about working with — the greats: Jack Nicholson, Scorsese and Clint Eastwood. So there are still people out there who intimidate me. I think they would catch me out finally. I've got away with murder until now and they would blow that."— Ricky Gervais. [Mirror]
• "I don't think of myself as a typical comedian. I'm just a normal bloke who says things he observes. I don't even really tell jokes with punch lines. But people seem to connect." — Ricky Gervais. [USA Today]
• "One of the things I like about this movie is that my character, for example, is made up all the time. She always looks cute. So she's cute and covered in tats and willing to punch people while wearing dresses and cute shoes. The merging of that: you can be a strong, rough-and-tumble woman, but still be a woman. All of that can be bundled into one. That's definitely a lesson that I currently have been learning the last couple years myself, so it spoke volumes to me." — Whip It's Zoë Bell. [BoxOffice.com]
• Your name is on fans' dream team list for Ridley Scott's prequel to Alien. "Wouldn't that be awesome!? That absolutely has to happen. There was an article where someone CGIed my head onto Sigourney Weaver's body. It's kind of creepy, but I liked it. I sent it to my people and was like, 'Make this happen!' That'd be so sick! That's the kind of stuff I would like to do. Linda Hamilton in Terminator and Sigourney Weaver in Alien-those are the kind of roles we don't have enough of." — Zoë Bell. [BoxOffice.com]
• "I am a hippie girl with anger issues, I get it…" And: "I was so obsessed with happy endings in my 20s. In my 30s, I'm like, a good day is a good day." And: "I do a very serious, disciplined, mature job. That said, I love to go get plastered with my friends on a Saturday night and let it go, but… I'm up on Monday morning at 6 a.m. and I don't stop for seven days straight." — Drew Barrymore. [The Daily Beast]
• "The bride will fight again!" — Quentin Tarantino says he intends to make Kill Bill 3. [Page Six]
• "I think my acting is offensive!" — Lauren Conrad. [People]
• "I just put on a 'Snuggie' and ate a popsicle." — Miley Cyrus, who has strep throat two weeks before her world tour. [NY Daily News]

In an LA Times interview with reporter Greg Braxton, Bell admits, "Doing the butt-kicking stuff was no problem." Acting, however, is not her forté. Still, from what we've seen of the first episode of Crackle.com's Angel Of Death, she's not bad. You believe she's a killer-for-hire, and not just because her abs are, for lack of a better word, insane. And when the script is mostly slapping, kicking and punching while wearing heels an a low-cut blouse, well, what's not to like?

The question is whether Bell, 30, will ever get a chance to be the action hero she could be. As Braxton points out, while Uma Thurman (Kill Bill), Jennifer Garner (Alias) and Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil) have played action heroes, none of them did their own stunts. Bell could a Jackie Chan-type star, if only the right script existed. Somehow you can't help but think that if she were a man with a great body and action skills, she'd already have a couple of starring roles under her belt (see: Jason Statham). Meanwhile, she'll have to make do with a web series, which features 7-minute episodes; and with her small part as a roller-derby lady in summer's Drew Barrymore flick, Whip It. And honestly? Maybe Zoë Bell is the reason Zoë Bell is not an action star. As she tells Braxton: "I don't want to be put in any box. I want to do everything."

Zoe Bell's Toughest Stunt Yet: 'Angel of Death' [LA Times]
Angel Of Death [Crackle.com]

[Los Angeles, October 9. Image via Flynet]

On the other hand, well, I really do like watching women kick some jerk's ass. Call me a reverse-sexist, call me an inappropriate fan of country justice, but there's something primal about watching a bunch of powerful women get some of their own back. In fact, in The Handmaid's Tale, there's a scene in which state-sanctioned violence against rapists by the least powerful women in the society is ritualized as a way of controlling the handmaids' impulses to rebel against their station. So, when I'm not watching Rosario Dawson, Zoe Bell and Tracie Thoms beat the shit out of Kurt Russell, I sort of wonder if the fetishization of violent women is just another way of distracting us from the rights we don't have — like equal pay, say — rather than an actual equality.

Wait, what was I saying? That's so cool.

Guns Are A Feminist Issue [Asymmetrical Information]
A Deadly Myth [Violence Policy Center]