I dunno, Jezzie, I agree that being a snotty housewifey with a nanny is frustrating and unrealistic and makes an especially bad ScarJo set-up, but is there really anything wrong with being extremely career-focused & having kids? There's a lot of ways for women to be wealthy and powerful and have children/families -- their mamas, their partners, and yes, sometimes, their hired help. But is that really something to scoff at?
@the.bleach: It's not scoffing at that way of raising kids, as much as ire that the people we're talking about have little awareness of how immensely lucky they are to be able to do that.
And no, I think if kids are starving and homeless, it's terrible that anyone spends thousands on a nanny. Really. There are babies with no place to live. NObody is entitled to an easy ride at that kind of cost.
ugh, I will never forget when as a new nanny I admired the mothers new shoes and she flippantly responded ''oh they are Gucci you can get them at nordstroms" as if I could go over to Nordsroms and spend two week's pay on heels! just the begining of many casual remarks along those lines. The unfortunate truth is most wealthy people don't realize the rest of us generally live paycheck to paycheck
@BUNNYLUV: I have heard someone I know who has quite a lot of money tell a friend (who was having trouble paying rent and had no insurance) who was complaining about being tired out, "just go to the doctor; they'll give you some pills."
Because someone working two part time jobs, without insurance, at minimum wage, can afford to pay for an office visit and tests out of pocket...to get a few pep pills.
It's blindness. Some people can't understand that life is not that easy without privilege.
yes, by all means, bring your little kids into the swanky store. There's nothing we customers enjoy more than small children running around willy-nilly while screaming and/or crying, during which time the parents remain blissfully oblivious because they are engrossed in something that is obviously MUCH more important than actual parenting.
And what ignorant logic, too - yeah, people who work for you, who have kids, also need to find someone to take care of their kids when they are at their jobs, too. Holy Obvious, Batman! I love how it doesn't dawn on anyone that, um, what we really need in this country is affordable, quality childcare for every family.
yeah, good family leave policy helps too. But there needs to be both in order to give families a real choice about what they're going to do after the kid comes along.
When I read these articles I always feel grateful that I live in a country with decent maternity leave.
At present, I'm loving staying at home with my two month old, we have tons of fun. Unless it was a financial necessity, I don't understand why any one would want to return to work weeks after giving birth. We can work til 65 these days, so what's the rush?
@Dogtanian: well, I like to think of it this way: they're going to be sticking around 18 years - probably longer in today's economic climate. what's the rush? Also, hate to be insensitive, but how interesting and fun can a baby possibly be? What do you do all day with a 4 month old? I think I would get really bored.
I can understand more the people who go back to work right away, and then when the kid is a bit older, like into the toddler years, start cutting back on work or staying home. My mom worked until I was 9 and my sister was 5. She said she liked that better because she was home when we got back from school, and could be more involved in our lives when we had more of a life in which to be involved (christ, that was some tortured grammar right there).
I don't get why the fuck you'd have kids if you don't care about raising and taking care of them. Like, isn't that the point? Or are these people just so stuck on themselves that they MUST create spawn to carry on their obviously classy and fabulous genes. These people are assholes.
Well, when I'm rich, I'll just pay someone to have and take care of my children. That way, I have heirs, but don't have to get my hands or vagina dirty.
I find that when I'm tired and exhausted from dealing with my dogs (we're selfish and poor, so we've chosen to have dogs instead of children for now), there's no place more relaxing than the Balenciaga showroom. I just curl up on that leather sofa in my $5,000 gown, use my $3,000 handbag as a pillow, and drift off...blissfully unaware of the rapscallions I've left behind. (BTW, Rapscallion is totally a better name for a kid than Rascal)
Um, NO, I can't be tired at the Balenciaga showroom. In fact, I will probably only be able to take a month-long maternity leave because I just won't be able to afford the pay cut. BECAUSE MY COMPANY DOESN'T OFFER MATERNITY LEAVE.
@lovecake: i am not yet in the workforce but...isn't that illegal? like, discrimination? and if it's not illegal, why not? please enlighten me so that i can yell a lot later...
@bangers: Companies have to offer 3 months of maternity leave in the US (I think?). But it doesn't have to be paid. Many, many smaller companies don't offer paid maternity leave.
Maybe I'm projecting, but the catch -22 is that these women look materially advantaged because they work at high paying jobs. If you suddenly stop working then you are no longer materially advantaged.
I remember my mother, who was a fairly high-powered lawyer, left work after I was born (she had a nanny for my sister, who was a little bit older than me). All views on this aside, I remember her saying, "If I had wanted small little creatures to play with but not take up too much of my time, I would have just gotten puppies."
She's a total bitch, and, of course, diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, but I can see her logic.
It's very easy to get back into perfect shape, get back to work, become a Sainted Sex Goddess and shop til you drop when you have a staff of servants doing all the heavy lifting.
The parent's my GF works for are really decent folks who are older and have opposing schedules. She's well-paid and treated like gold. But that's the exception, I assure you.
@steampoweredboy: Damn, you go on Jezebel AND you have a cool girlfriend. Sorry this is off-topic, but just to stroke your ego, I think I'm a little bit in love with the men that post on here. (there are like, what, three of you?) I just think it's so cool that you're interested in a feminist site. Hell yeah. uhh...ok done being creepy...
@steampoweredboy: That's what they used to call women who were not born of the right class and had few other choices in life. It has unfortunate historical (and literary!) connotations.
@goodcheapfun: The connotations of a Governess is that she is also educating the children. As this woman has a degree in probably early childhood development and is probably being hired for her skills in educating the child, I think that the title is probably warranted, but still, yeah pretentious. As is au pair and nanny. When I was a nanny, I preferred being called the nanny to the babysitter. I didn't sit on babies and I spent 40 hours a week with them. I also taught them how to read.
I've always loved that Norway has a year of paid maternity leave, but I imagine the amount by which taxes would have to increase to pay for this is, uh, never going to happen.
@tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler: eh taxes wouldn't need to be raised. we would just need to make a huge moral realignment in this country about what exactly our priorities are.
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And no, I think if kids are starving and homeless, it's terrible that anyone spends thousands on a nanny. Really. There are babies with no place to live. NObody is entitled to an easy ride at that kind of cost.
I'm a bit extreme in my views, though.
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Because someone working two part time jobs, without insurance, at minimum wage, can afford to pay for an office visit and tests out of pocket...to get a few pep pills.
It's blindness. Some people can't understand that life is not that easy without privilege.
03/30/09
And what ignorant logic, too - yeah, people who work for you, who have kids, also need to find someone to take care of their kids when they are at their jobs, too. Holy Obvious, Batman! I love how it doesn't dawn on anyone that, um, what we really need in this country is affordable, quality childcare for every family.
yeah, good family leave policy helps too. But there needs to be both in order to give families a real choice about what they're going to do after the kid comes along.
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At present, I'm loving staying at home with my two month old, we have tons of fun. Unless it was a financial necessity, I don't understand why any one would want to return to work weeks after giving birth. We can work til 65 these days, so what's the rush?
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Who knows.
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I can understand more the people who go back to work right away, and then when the kid is a bit older, like into the toddler years, start cutting back on work or staying home. My mom worked until I was 9 and my sister was 5. She said she liked that better because she was home when we got back from school, and could be more involved in our lives when we had more of a life in which to be involved (christ, that was some tortured grammar right there).
To each their own, I guess.
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Now run along.
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BECAUSE MY COMPANY DOESN'T OFFER MATERNITY LEAVE.
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She's a total bitch, and, of course, diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, but I can see her logic.
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It's very easy to get back into perfect shape, get back to work, become a Sainted Sex Goddess and shop til you drop when you have a staff of servants doing all the heavy lifting.
The parent's my GF works for are really decent folks who are older and have opposing schedules. She's well-paid and treated like gold. But that's the exception, I assure you.
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She knows baby cpr, child speech development and infant sign language. Respect the Governess.
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The wymenz should be staying home anyway!
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