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Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady

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hydrogen_jukebox
11/11/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
Just call me Baroness. #younglady
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suzannelb
11/11/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
I live in Boston, and despite our reputation for Yankee rudeness, I've had too many retail and cashier jobs to be anything but unfailingly polite and courteous to the person taking my order or ringing me up. Because of this, I am continually called "hon" or "dear" or "sweetie" by people in the service industry, and it's nice! I spend my days being screamed at on the phone by university faculty members who think yelling at me will solve their dental insurance problems; one of the highlights of my day is stopping at Dunkin' Donuts in the morning and hearing "half-decaf hazelnut iced for ya, dahlin?" from the manager.

Since I identify myself immediately when I answer the hotline at work, I have been known to interrupt the grouchy professors who call me "young lady" with "My name is Suzanne." Making sure the person on the other end of the line knows your name is a customer service thing, but it also serves to ensure that no one gets away with calling me any kind of diminutive and that I am always addressed by my proper name.

The awesome Cape Verdean ladies from the dining hall get away with saying "honey," but that's because they're the awesome Cape Verdean ladies from the dining hall and they're very nice; I call them "sweetie" right back. #younglady
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pesematology
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
Ma'am is okay with me, in these parts it is a step up from "young lady" which you get as long as you are, well, a young lady. #younglady
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quickqueenof
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
Transplants from the North down here to the South get all mad when called "ma'am." I was just raised that is what you call a woman to signify respect. It has nothing to do with age, just respect. A "miss" is a child or a high school/college age girl.

And I will be teaching my children to do the same. #younglady
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SylvanSylph
11/11/09

@quickqueenof: Ha! I'm a transplant from the South to the North- it never occurred to me that "ma'am" was regional until I got a look of utter shock after ma'aming someone at a gas station. But anything else strikes me as condescending. #younglady
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thebootyfaerie
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
I'm okay with either "ma'am" or "miss" from strangers, but "miss" only for people who know me.

Maybe it's because I'm secretly old-fashioned, but I'm an unmarried woman. "Ma'am" just seems weird to me because of that.

I was so pissed when I signed up for something today and had to choose between "Mrs." and "Ms." It had already been a frustrating (but necessary) registration process.

Worse than "young lady," though, is "little one." I have no idea why one of my supervisors calls me that, but it really bothers me. But since it's always in passing and not in a one-on-one setting, I would feel bad asking her to stop. "Young lady" is infinitely better than that, and really doesn't bother me as long as it's not patronizing ("Now look here, young lady.")

But, again, that may have something to do with me being in my early twenties and unmarried. #younglady
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ZombieEmpress
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
I prefer "Her Imperial Majesty", "Your Royal Highness", "O' Great One". If you are in a hurry, "Goddess" will suffice.

BTW: I am eighteen years old and have been "ma'amed" for several years now. #younglady
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tinydundie42
11/10/09

@ZombieEmpress: I'm 23 and I've never been "ma'amed." But I look like I'm 14, so that might have something to do with it. #younglady
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Sir
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
I HATE being called "young lady"--it's a very demeaning term. I work with a bunch of old dudes and when they call me "young lady" I want to drop trou and pinch a loaf right there and then. "Young lady" says "you're not a professional, not one of us" and "you're cutesy and diminutive and you remind me of my children/neices." I prefer to be called "sir" (Peanuts style) because it sounds like something you call a professional... professionalism isn't just for dudes. (It also sounds like something you say to someone who intimidates you... so all the better for me...) I would not entirely object to being called "Dame [last name]" since it's kinda absurd. #younglady
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boxspelunker
11/10/09

@Sir: You are hearted because you are not the only one with an overwhelming desire to express displeasure with poop. #younglady
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sybann
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
HA! I like Cap'n.

And Anna, get used to ma'am. I've been called ma'am for twenty years and have never worn a pantsuit. And I still hate it.

AND never live in the south. They'll ma'am you to pieces. #younglady
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Eh-ron
11/10/09

@sybann: Yes ma'am, we will. #younglady
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sybann
11/11/09

@Eh-ron: Bless your pea-pickin heart. ; ) #younglady
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Justine
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
My father calls older women "young lady" and insists that they like it, even though my mother and I have told him that it's patronizing, repeatedly. But, then again, I was thinking of him during the masculinity article - he's one of those, "Let me tell you poor confused wimmenfolk what real feminism is about" guys. #younglady
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sybann
11/10/09

@Justine: God bless him ; ) #younglady
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amusedmuse
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
Language is one thing, but tone is another. The generalized pet names--sweetie, dear, honey, etc.--don't bother me if they're in a neutral tone. Context also enters into it. In a situation where you need or hope to be taken seriously, the last thing you want is to be called by a generalized pet name. #younglady
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Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
A busker near my college calls me "Little Miss". But since he sings Bob Marley when I request it and once punched a guy who tried to feel me up, I think I'll let it slide. Besides, he is like six foot six. He can call anyone little! #younglady
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embarcadero13
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
My name ain't baby. It's Janet. Miss Jackson, if you're nasty! #younglady
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likepenguins
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
See, ma'am I have no problem with. But "miss." Oh, how I loathe "miss." It's just rude.

My problem is with "sweetheart." I find a bunch of ol' roughnecks and construction boys call me that at work. Ugh.

I *should* feel the same way about being called "love" - but I can't help but secretly like that one. #younglady
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NotIt
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
I got called "little lady" by a subcontractor the other day.

Guess who lost a job bid with a single breath? #younglady
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nyc-caribbean-ragazza
11/10/09

In reply to Don't Call Me That: The Proper Way To Address A Lady
I don't mind signora/madame/ma'am.

However, dude? Hate it. I'm not a 20 something surfer. #younglady
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