Possibly-Fake 13-Year-Old Seduces Prostitutes With Fake World Of Warcraft Winnings

Moe — Tue, 13 May 2008 13:30:00 EDT

That kids today are exposed to massive amounts of porn and heavily porn-influenced content at impossibly tender ages is an unavoidable fact. Parents and teachers and the whole "Village Thing" can do a certain amount to censor and filter and limit this, but a part of me thinks that all young men should just start listening to Howard Stern at age five because then they would at least have the sense not to title their Peer Pressure-inspired YouTube videos Rape Dat Ho and would instead do like 13-year-old Ralph Hardy of Newark, Texas. Ralph, the son of a workaholic attorney who forgot his birthday, allegedly decided to take it upon himself to steal his father's credit card to get a few pals together and hire some hookers.

In a heartwarming tale that may well be apocryphal — but if it is, it is truly the "Gift of the Magi" of the GTA generation, so it's worthy of a post — the young Hardy told the girls he had a "growth disorder" a la Andy Milonakis and the motel clerks that he had just won a World of Warcraft tournament.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.
Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

I can't find a news source more legitimate than The Sun to source this to, so I'll believe it when young Ralph hosts his first YouTube party with Cory Worthington, but it's a pleasant enough screenplay idea, no?

13-Year-Old Steals Dad's Credit Card To Buy Hookers

Kids Today: More Narcissistic Than Ever? I Know, It's A Tough One...

Moe — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 14:00:00 EST

Is the younger generation more narcissistic than we are? Well YEAHDUH, but here's something kind of interesting! See, two scholars are engaged in a hot dispute as to whether all the MySpace/Flickr/tumblr/silvr/U.S.AmericanTopModelChefFifthGrader shit actually causes people to be more self-obsessed. The champion of the conventional wisdom is a San Diego State psychologist who wrote a book called Generation Me and is working on another called the Narcissism Epidemic. But now a University of Western Ontario psychologist is about to publish research that suggests the youngs no more narcissistic than any of the generations that preceded them. Wait, is it kinda funny that the anti-narcissism epidemic side comes from Canada and the Generation Me author is in Southern California? A Yale professor thinks so, telling the New York Times that "exaggerated beliefs in social decline are widespread — largely because people tend to mistake changes in themselves for changes in the external world." So people who study narcissism tend to be narcissists? Crazy! But moreover, it's bigger than that:

Never before in this country has there been such an economic imperative to cultivating narcissism. "Build Brand You"! Start a blog! Advance Your Swagger! If you want a raise, dress better! Hit the gym! Assert yourselves! If you try to count on hard work alone, you'll never have any time to Make Yourself Noticed! And anyway, the immigrants and the Chinese and the Indians and the Romanians have the work ethic thing cornered. Oh what, you don't want to be the boss, the ruler, the editor-in-chief? You'd rather be a team player, and subscribe to the pitifully naive notion that the sum can be greater than parts or whatever? Did you not hear that cooperation is over? What has cooperation done for us lately? Lesssseeee...maybe designed us a really thin MacBook? Approved a half-trillion dollar war? If you've learned anything from the reality TV you watch it's that there can only be one Top Model, one Top Chef, one Celebrity Apprentice, one Biggest Loser. And yeah, you can say that's only TV. But good luck finding a decent job on an assembly line somewhere! You're better off shooting to be the next American Apparel model.

Generation Me Vs. You, Revisited [NY Times]
Related: Want A Better Job? Stop Working Right Now And Get Your Nails Did

Jezebel: young folks

Possibly-Fake 13-Year-Old Seduces Prostitutes With Fake World Of Warcraft Winnings

Kids Today: More Narcissistic Than Ever? I Know, It's A Tough One...