I often wonder why I've never been set-up by my friends. Is it because I'm not on the Jew Network? I'd give anything for a bubbe. Or wait. That's not the right word. Yenta. (Side note: I was on JDate for a month. Turns out that saying "My grandmother has been doing a genealogy project and thinks we might be Jewish" isn't legit enough. Also, writing emails to men saying, "Wow, a Jewish doctor. Will I have my eyes scratched out by actual Jewish girls if we go on a date?" didn't seem to work.)
I'm curious. Is it that it's really difficult to match me? Or it's too much trouble? Messy? Is it...the fact that I have a goiter?
People complain about this set-up business and I felt left out.
I was an anti-matchmaker once... I brought my college roommates to a party with my "party boy" friends, and my fave (anal and ambitious) roomie and my fave (sloppy and creative) party boy started making googly eyes at each other. I was like "Noooooooo! So wrong for each other! Don't do it!" For like, 2 years. Finally I accepted it. They've been married now for 5 years, and have each made the other a better person.
More than once I've been set up because my friend's boyfriend's best friend is lonely now that his BFF is with someone. It never goes well because it seems to come down to the fact that we're both single.
I don't mind being introduced to someone my friend thinks I'll like, just make sure I'll actually like him and you're not just doing this to get youyr boyfriend away from the Wii. Oh and have multiple people there, not just me, you, your boyfriend and the guy you want me to date. Its awkward if we don't like each other.
I wish more of my friends tried to set me up with people (or at least made sure our paths crosses at parties or something) I think that's a more organic process than online dating.
I have never set out to match people up, but I have had several female acquaintances ask me to help set them up with one of my male friends. It never worked out, so I try to avoid that now.
I did recently help facilitate a hook-up for a friend. We were out in a group and met an old friend of one of our classmates. The guy and my friend hit it off, but he lives in another town and they didn't exchange numbers or anything. But when I saw our mutual friend at a holiday party later that week, we plotted a little and gave the guy her number (I had her permission). They're now dating and are really cute together. :-D
I only attempted this once: with my Dad, who was recently divorced and is a bit of a silver fox, and a woman I used to work with. They were both lonely, liked the same things. They fell in love, dated, went on holiday... how was I supposed to know she was his rebound relationship?
He dumped her after six months, she spent weeks, weeks I tell you, asking me what I thought had gone wrong/what he was doing/who he was seeing. I learned not to meddle ever again. Especially not to pimp my Dad.
I like to set up women with other women I think who would be good hang-out friends.
I'm way more successful and every grown woman needs other grown women friends, especially when you live in a new city. Single Boy matched with Girl stories are nice, but sometimes setting up your friend with another good pal is waaaay better, less ackward, and just more fun.
@Sophie (no longer) needs to study...celebrate!: I do that too. Except I'm not a grown woman, so it's more like spread the love of this bizarre collegiate sorority type thing I have going. It's always really bizarrely amazing when my friends hit it off.
@Sophie (no longer) needs to study...celebrate!: Heh, I just did that this week. It just came out that one of my friends is into the chick flicks as much as another is, and they both whine that I won't go with them to, say, "He's Just Not that Into YOu." So I hooked them up, they're thrilled at the company and I don't have to sit through chick flicks. Everybody wins.
I have a friend who meets guys through Craigslist and then, if she feels no connection, will then 'pass' them on to which ever friend she thinks might be a better match. Which is weird, now that I think about it: men =/= sweater from J. Crew that just didn't fit right but was so cute someone should wear it.
Anyway, she set me up with this dude who talked about his cats Liza and Judy, his love of Broadway, his and his's mom's matching aprons and his skin care regime, punctuated by unsolicited and increasingly frantic denials of homosexuality. I got home and was like, how have you known me for 20 years and think this dude and I have ANYTHING in common?
@Triphena: Is it wrong that I want to be best friends with that man? His cats are named LIZA and JUDY! That's hilariously amazing. It could be the musical theatre geek in me.
The worst thing about the past 3 years of my life was the result of two friends getting together. Being the go-to girl for the dramz all the time sucks.
Getting it in both ears from either side of the couple, while all you want to scream is TALK TO EACH OTHER NOT ME! is more than I can bear.
That said, I stupidly let them do it. They're still together (partially thanks to my getting them through a terrible patch), and now neither of them is speaking to me. AWESOME. :|
I have a friend who tries to set me up. It always comes across as insulting. They are never cute, and she seems to think I need to settle for that. All the while she believes she deserves the "hot" men.
She really must not get me at all. She says sets me up with a computer programmer because "we both use computers at work." Basically I think they're guys that might be into her and she's trying to pawn them off on me.
Sorry, I particularly upset with her right now, and this topic has brought back some recent issues.
@Twilly: Totally understand. Friends do the same thing with me. They attempt to set me up with entirely unattractive men because I should settle for that or because they don't want me to date someone who is as hot or more hot than their current bf. Fuck that noise.
@Twilly: I used to always get set up with the short guys since I'm short. As if we could just sit and talk for hours about how annoying it is to get things off of high shelves.
@EdnasEdibles: Haha this always happens to me, only as the opposite. Someone will tell me, OH I HAVE THE PERFECT GUY FOR YOU! So I say, Go on, do tell.. And 90% of the time it begins with, Well he's really tall...
One of my best friends set me up with my first (and so far only) girlfriend. The break-up was terrible, and it resulted in me furiously cutting off most of the people I associated with my ex.
Fortunately, that didn't amount to too many people, but for some reason I've never felt any anger toward my best best friend. You'd think he'd be the first person I'd blame, but really, my (friendly) love for him has never changed.
No one ever tries to match me with anyone they know. Probably because they know I will terrify the shit out of the potential suitor, but I mean... they could at least try!
02/16/09
I'm curious. Is it that it's really difficult to match me? Or it's too much trouble? Messy? Is it...the fact that I have a goiter?
People complain about this set-up business and I felt left out.
02/17/09
02/16/09
And, I don't know shit.
02/16/09
I don't mind being introduced to someone my friend thinks I'll like, just make sure I'll actually like him and you're not just doing this to get youyr boyfriend away from the Wii. Oh and have multiple people there, not just me, you, your boyfriend and the guy you want me to date. Its awkward if we don't like each other.
02/16/09
I have never set out to match people up, but I have had several female acquaintances ask me to help set them up with one of my male friends. It never worked out, so I try to avoid that now.
I did recently help facilitate a hook-up for a friend. We were out in a group and met an old friend of one of our classmates. The guy and my friend hit it off, but he lives in another town and they didn't exchange numbers or anything. But when I saw our mutual friend at a holiday party later that week, we plotted a little and gave the guy her number (I had her permission). They're now dating and are really cute together. :-D
02/16/09
He dumped her after six months, she spent weeks, weeks I tell you, asking me what I thought had gone wrong/what he was doing/who he was seeing. I learned not to meddle ever again. Especially not to pimp my Dad.
02/16/09
02/16/09
I'm way more successful and every grown woman needs other grown women friends, especially when you live in a new city. Single Boy matched with Girl stories are nice, but sometimes setting up your friend with another good pal is waaaay better, less ackward, and just more fun.
02/16/09
02/16/09
02/16/09
02/16/09
02/16/09
Anyway, she set me up with this dude who talked about his cats Liza and Judy, his love of Broadway, his and his's mom's matching aprons and his skin care regime, punctuated by unsolicited and increasingly frantic denials of homosexuality. I got home and was like, how have you known me for 20 years and think this dude and I have ANYTHING in common?
02/16/09
02/16/09
02/16/09
02/16/09
Getting it in both ears from either side of the couple, while all you want to scream is TALK TO EACH OTHER NOT ME! is more than I can bear.
That said, I stupidly let them do it. They're still together (partially thanks to my getting them through a terrible patch), and now neither of them is speaking to me. AWESOME. :|
02/16/09
She really must not get me at all. She says sets me up with a computer programmer because "we both use computers at work." Basically I think they're guys that might be into her and she's trying to pawn them off on me.
Sorry, I particularly upset with her right now, and this topic has brought back some recent issues.
02/16/09
02/16/09
02/16/09
Does he breath? OMG ME TOO!!! TRU LUV.
02/16/09
Fortunately, that didn't amount to too many people, but for some reason I've never felt any anger toward my best best friend. You'd think he'd be the first person I'd blame, but really, my (friendly) love for him has never changed.
02/16/09
02/16/09