[New York, November 6. Image via Getty]

A fan holds up a sign for Hideki Matsui, Most Valuable Player for the World Series Champions New York Yankees, on lower Broadway November 6, 2009 during parade in New York. AFP PHOTO/Stan HONDA (Photo credit should read STAN HONDA/AFP/Getty Images)

[New York, November 4. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 04: Yankees fans celebrate outside Yankee Stadium following the New York Yankees victory over the Philadelphia Phillies in Game Six of the 2009 MLB World Series on November 4, 2009 in the Bronx borough of New York City.The Yankees defeated the Phillies 7-3 to win their 27th championship. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

[New York, October 7. Image via Getty]

• Iranian police warned shopkeepers today not to use any mannequins with visible curves. Mannequins are also barred from appearing in windows without a headscarf. • In response to an abysmally low conviction rate for reported rapes, British officials have ordered a review of how rape victims are treated by authorities from the moment they report the assault onward. • Elizaveta Mukasei, who, with her husband, Mikhail, spied during the cold war for the KGB, has died at 97. The New York Times calls the Mukaseis "one of the most famous husband-and-wife duos in the history of espionage." • A new study reveals that more adults than previously thought (three out of five) have suffered from depression, anxiety disorders, alcohol addiction or marijuana abuse at some point in their lives. Previous studies had placed the number much lower, but they also did not follow participants over time, which doctors believe has lead to a more accurate picture of American's mental health. • Supreme Court Justice Sonya Sotomayor, who is a Yankees fan, is scheduled to throw out the first pitch on Saturday before New York's game against the Boston Red Sox. • A three-year custody battle over Dexter the pug has finally come to a close. A judge ruled that the dog will spend five weeks at a time with each of his owners. • Swedish female soldiers are demanding that the military provide them with combat-tested bras because the sports bras they're forced to buy unhook too easily. Men are provided with military-issue underwear, but there are no military-issue bras, so women have to buy their own. • According to the Census Bureau, 27% of gay couples say they are in a relationship "akin to husband-and-wife." This number is much higher than the number of gay couples who have been legally married, and analysts say it reflects the couples who would get married if they were granted equal rights. However, there were fewer same-sex couples reported this year than last, but that may be because fewer straight couples checked the wrong box on their forms. • Researchers have found that mice who are fed alcohol at a young age are more likely to make stupid decisions when they reach adulthood. Although this does not mean people who drink as teens grow up to be risk-takers, it does open up the possibility that the two things are related. • Tanning salons generally do not allow minors to visit without parental permission, but once they are in the door, they do not limit the number of tanning sessions allowed, a recent undercover operation found. •  A girls school in Pakistan was the target of another terrorist attack this Tuesday. Authorities believe the building was blown up by Islamist militants. • Researchers say when people are stressed they actually choose less familiar foods rather than "comfort foods." Study participants were asked to rate the level of change in their lives, then choose between American potato chips and British chips with odd flavors like Camembert and plum. Those experiencing more change were more likely to choose the unusual chips. • Australia's parliament will debate a bill that will decide whether two Kenyan woman can stay in the country as refugees, or if they will be forced to return and undergo female genital mutilation. Grace Gichuhi is seeking asylum because the Mungiki sect that killed her mother for refusing FGM wants to murder her for the same reason. She and fellow Kenyan Teresia Ndikaru Muturi both fled the country, but they'll be deported unless the parliament votes to expand refugee protection laws. • Researchers say people who are dieting should beware of naturally skinny friends who eat too much. 210 students participated in experiments in which a thin or overweight researcher ate snacks with them while watching a movie. The subject's portion choices mimicked the researcher's, but they adjusted and took a smaller portion if the researcher was overweight. • British Attorney General Baroness Scotland has been fined £5,000 for employing a housekeeper who wasn't allowed to work in the U.K. She didn't know it when she hired the housekeeper, but didn't keep a copy of her documents as required by law. • More women are murdered by men in Louisiana than anywhere else in the United States, according to a report from the Violence Policy Center. The national rate of women being murdered by men is 1.3 per 100,000, but in 2007 Louisiana's rate was 2.53 per 100,000. Alaska and Wyoming had the second and third highest rates. • A 19-year-old Indian girl confessed that she and her 20-year-old boyfriend strangled seven members of her family who opposed their relationship. They are charged with murdering her mother, father, grandmother, and four other relatives after lacing the family meal with a sedative. The family wouldn't let them marry because they belong to the same gotra, a group descended from a common ancestor. • Ron Paul on his appearance in the film Brüno: "I don't feel good about it because I was the subject of a trick, and nobody likes to be tricked. I understand they're not making a tremendous amount of money off this movie, so maybe the American people aren't as cynical as they assumed." •

[The Bronx, September 9. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: A fan holds a sign during the New York Yankees game against the Tampa Bay Rays on September 9, 2009 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx borough of New York City. Derek Jeter got his 2,721st base hit, tying Lou Gehrig's all-time club record. (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)

[New York, July 20. Image via Getty]

[New York, June 22. Image via Splash.]

[NYT]

SPENCER: we gonna do this?
MEGAN: See, if you were Moe we would totally be discussing the whole people in Pennsylvania might be kind of racist thing, but I don't know anyone from Latrobe, don't drink Rollg Rock (which isn't even brewed there anymore) and I can't really say for Pennsylvania, so unless you've got thoughts, we might want to just talk about the dude who was stockpiling AK-47s because they would be really valuable when Hillary got elected and banned them.
SPENCER: unfortunately, DC's popular coffee shop Busboys and Poets hosts wi-fi so weak that I can't open any links, so I need you to flesh that story out for me a bit
srsly, this is like dial-up or something
and why would you drink rolling rock? yuengling!
If yuengling ever decided to launch a national ad campaign, it should use 'Jingling Baby' by LL
'it's yueng-a-ling, baby/ go 'head baby...'
MEGAN: Well, I don't really drink beer ever, except for that beer I brought to poker night which I found out I liked when I told a bartender I didn't drink beer and he made me try every single one in the bar, and there were 40.
That was a lot of beer. By the end, I sort of didn't care either way, but I liked that one best.
SPENCER: god, you know what was a great band? Catherine Wheel
MEGAN: Oh, right, the story. Um, people in Latrobe never say they're not going to vote for Obama because he's black but they've got all these other reasons that don't sound legit and it makes themm sound like they won't vote for him because he's black. The best quote is this:

In a place like Latrobe, which the census says is 99 percent white, the race issue is almost an unexplored country that people visit like tourists with a phrase book.

His flat delivery often makes him seem bored with his own stories — as he did Tuesday, when he told a crowd of current students at his alma mater, "Memory often accords our high school years the distinction of being among the happiest of our lives. I remember Episcopal in that light."

But the real problem here is that Alex — who suffered one his worst years statistically during the 2006 regular season with a staggeringly high number of strikeouts, a slugging percentage 50 points lower than his career average and his second-fewest home runs since 1997. Oh, and then there was that stinker of a postseason! — seems to have stuck to the script that so many down-on-their-luck dudes follow when rising from the ashes of their own creation: Cheating on their wives. What is it with these people??? We'd ask a shrink, but, uh, we hear that Alex's psychologist wife Cynthia isn't taking new patients.

He's A Yankee Doodle Randy [NYPost]

• Bobby Brown says "I'm dating so it's not like I'm single." Defensive much, Bobby? [People]
  
• The Yankees are tied for last place. Mwahahaha! At least they can console themselves with the knowledge Carl Pavano is still hot. Hot looking, that is. [SportsIllustrated]
  
• The Fug Girls love Sarah Polley, hate the outfit. [GoFugYourself]
  
• Female Iraqi refugees are resorting to selling their bodies in Syria to make ends meet. [Salon]
  
• 28 new planets have been spotted by astronomers. [BBC]
  
• Don't even ask us about the whales. [CNN]