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Jack_Burton
11/23/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
Classic footage tells same story - pandas not cuddly, pandas actually animals.

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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
I just hope they don't harm the panda because of this dude's dumb-dumbness.

With that said, I blame those stupid Charmin tissue commercials with those bears wiping their asses in the woods.

Makes them look too friendly and creates a false sense of familiarity. Like, hey look, that bear's just like me, wiping his ass and all. Let's be friends. Say hello to your mother for me.

Then the bear's jaws go crunch, crunch.
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Nada Zero
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
Hey, if somebody broke into my apartment & tried to hug me, I'd bite them, too.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
11/22/08

@Nada Zero: Here in the US we call that sexual assault. Poor panda probably needs some therapy.
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rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
College students, dumb everywhere.
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kick_out_the_iambs
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
I'd add dolphins to that list of cuddly animals that might turn on you.

I know they have the reputation of being the hippies of the sea, but apparently they've been known to ram people who get too close with their snouts. Internal bleeding is probably not much more fun than dozens of panda bites.
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RisaPlata
11/22/08

@kick_out_the_iambs: [jezebel.com]

You are correct!
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YourScreenplaySucks
11/22/08

@kick_out_the_iambs: Apparently, they are also rapists. [www.thenervousbreakdown.com]

Sigh. This is like when I found out the truth about Santa.
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georgina
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
I keep picturing that scene in Billy Madison where Adam Sandler is drunkenly chasing the fake penguin around. Anyone else have terrible taste in movies?
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stealthird
11/22/08

@georgina: Billy Madison is a classic. Last time I saw it, I was on the bus to Chicago and it was playing on the tv.
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stealthird
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
This is nothing--remember the guy in Beijing who was depressed (and drunk, I think) because he lost his job or something and thought petting the panda would cheer him up? He climbed over the wall and woke the panda up, and the panda bit him, so he BIT THE PANDA BACK. Can you imagine how that must have tasted? Thbbbt.
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MeganGlass 就是一个古代的三明治
11/22/08

@stealthird: Oh, I'm laughing a lot. I actually bit a dog once in retaliation when I was drunk, so I can totally imagine what it was like... Thbbbt is right. I immediately regretted my mouthful of dog hair, but it did leave me alone after that.
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MeganGlass 就是一个古代的三明治
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
I heard this on the radio this morning and laughed out loud... You can't nom wild animals! They don't like it!

Still, I can't blame the guy for wanting to...
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Srott
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
Im guilty of this idea with koalas :(
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Liz11685
11/22/08

@Srott: Apparently Koalas are extremely vicious, but they are so stoned off the eucalyptus that places allow holding sessions- supervised by keepers, of course.
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BitchIsTheNewBlack
11/22/08

@Liz11685: I just think them being stoned makes them all the more cute.
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The HZA.
11/22/08

@BitchIsTheNewBlack: Yeah their getting stoned and falling out of trees makes them more charming.
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Brigit
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
Which is further evidence for my theory: Aduhrabuls animals have mind control powers.

"Come in you silly hoomin, come in. Look at me, ain't I aduhrabuls? Don't be scared, I won't bite (*snickers*)"

-Are you sure?

"Of course, I just want to cuddle. Don't you want to cuddle me?"

- Squeeeee!!!! cuddles cuddles cuddles

Next day at the Panda pen:

" Oh dude, you should have seen that silly hoomin's face when I swiped at him! AHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA

-It gets them every time HAHAHAHAHAHAAA hoomins are sooo stupid.

"For serious. You remember when benji got a drunk one in? The nimrod even folded up his clothes hahahahahahahaha."

- If it weren't for those handy opposable thumbs...
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La Chica Lucy
11/22/08

@Brigit: Ha! That is some funny shit, girl!
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hellosunshine
11/22/08

@Brigit: I totally believe it. Apparently koalas can be nasty little fuckers, for example.
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Kivrin
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
Oh, good lord. Unless this person has some sort of severe learning disability or mental illness, I really don't feel sorry for him. What an IDIOT.
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squirrelcop
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
While the impulse is understandable, Furries might be a safer route for this fellow.
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SpasticFurchild
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
"Sneaking into the panda's enclosure"

Maybe it was ENCLOSED for a reason? If I am not allowed to break into a neighbor's yard to try and hug their fluffy poofy Huskie, YOU are not allowed to break into a Panda Pen, little missy!!!
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Jessi Ramsey
11/22/08

@SpasticFurchild: WORD.

Look, the last time I went to Bronx Zoo I fell in love with a leopard cat

Now as cute as they may be, and as much as I joked to my boyfriend to get me one. I would never in a million years try to cuddle with a wild animal. No matter how cute.

(But for serious, look how cute he is, y'all)
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Jenavira
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
Sorry no pity. Which reminds me of the stupidest thing I saw this summer while at Yosemite: A man literally told his ten year old son to get closer to a rattle snake because and I quote "You don't get to see these very often."
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MeganGlass 就是一个古代的三明治
11/22/08

@Jenavira: tell me the kid didn't get bitten. Please. Tell me dad did.
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RisaPlata
11/22/08

@Jenavira: A friend and I went to Patricks Point State Park and were warned to stay away from bears. Not too long before, a man had seen a bear and covered his daughter's arm in honey because he wanted a picture of the bear licking his daughter.

I know the daughter was seriously injured but survived. I don't know anything else about if she was taken away or charges were filed or anything.
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BabyJane
11/22/08

In reply to Sad Panda!
Yang Yang does not suffer fools gladly.
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