• Whitney Port isn't in Kell On Earth. And on Lauren Conrad: "We still keep in touch on a friendship level. But in terms of fashion we don't really talk about it anymore because we're not in the same arena." [PopEater]

• AIDS prevention is a cause dear to Carla Bruni's heart. Her brother, Virginio, died of the disease in 2006, and she told French television yesterday that working in fashion in the 1980s, the disease was omnipresent. "The fashion world was hit head-on by the AIDS pandemic," she said. "It really did lose members of its family." Bruni is now an ambassador with the Global Fund to fight AIDS, TB, and malaria, and yesterday the Elysée Palace was festooned for the first time with red ribbons. [AFP]
• A fan named Diane called in to P. Diddy's Home Shopping Network show Monday night. "I'm so nervous!" she squealed. "Don't be nervous," replied the suave object of her affections. "I wish I could just jump through the screen and give you a hug, girl." [The Cut]
• Alber Elbaz designed some sweet heart-shaped Lanvin stamps, covered with his doodles, for the French postal service. [WWD]
• Maria Sharapova would like a fashion line, just as soon as she's finished kicking everyone's asses on the court. [Reuters]
• Liberty of London is taking its gorgeous William Morris aesthetic to the masses: it's partnering up with Target. [WWD]
• John Galliano not only designed a gorgeous Christmas tree that looks right out of a Hokusai print: it will be installed at the Claridge's hotel in a constellation of 20 of his haute-couture dresses. Swoon. [Telegraph]
• If Simon Doonan wanted a crowd, he should have gone the way of XOXO's flagship, which features a rotating cast of two female models paid to dress and undress in front of a glass window on 5th Avenue. The creative director who came up with the concept, in case you're wondering, is a woman. [CNN]
• Mango inked a deal with J.C. Penney. The Spanish brand has 1,200 stores worldwide, but only 12 in the U.S., so their distribution in this country has just officially mushroomed. [Crains]
• Carmen Dell'Orefice is working on a coffee table book of photography, scheduled for release on her 80th birthday. This story is funny mainly for how the Post mangles her name. Carmen De L'Orifice, indeed. [P6]
• Jil Sander's latest jewelry collection, made with Damiani, is out. "Jil Sander, even being considered as the brand of pureness, can create a product category such as jewelry," sniffed creative director Raf Simons. Prices start at around €890 for the baubles; Jil Sander watches are coming in the spring. [Independent]
• Seamstresses and designers who were employed in Christian Lacroix's workshop were yesterday told they had lost their jobs, following the court ruling that the bankrupt house could be transformed into a licensing operation. Dressmaker Nadia Schoope said, "I didn't think it would finish like that. I can't understand how a house like Lacroix cannot draw buyers." Monika Soszynska, who worked in couture accessories, said, "It's surreal, we can't believe that it's stopping, it's not possible. I can't believe we won't be doing the next haute couture collection." [ToL]
• H&M wants to open home stores. The Swedish retailer, which has been plagued by declining sales, opened 240 stores this year. [WWD]
• Dockers thinks the tag line "Behold the second dawn of man" will move some khaki pants. Global marketing vice president Jennifer Sey tells BrandWeek about the genesis of the campaign: "We started to do some research. In today's world, men have lost a bit of footing, in part because women have come so far, but we also found a few surprising facts: Eighty-percent of those who suffered unemployment in the last year were men. Women outnumber men in the workforce now. But the most surprising fact of all was that men's testosterone levels have been dropping by a percentage point a year for the last 20 years. All these factors add to up say, 'Wow, men are struggling in today's world.'" She's not trying to sell pants with pathetic anti-feminist rhetoric, she's just trying to "inspire today's men to be men," ladies. [BW]
• Roland Mouret has a capsule collection for Net-A-Porter on sale now. The seven lovely silk dresses come in seven bright colors, and cost $1,495-$3,070. [WWD]
• The fate of all Victoria's Secret diamond-encrusted bras is to be dismantled for parts. Because nobody ever buys them. [WSJ]
• Christian Louboutin, on Jennifer Lopez's single, "Louboutins" — which name-checks his brand 45 times, yes, he counted: "Jennifer told me about the song back in January, and I was extremely flattered. But of course, in America the public pronounces my name in like a million different ways. So Jennifer called me, and she was like, 'Listen, I want to make sure that I get it right.' And she did...from the very first time! I know the song by heart now. Because the brilliant part of the single is that it's not about me. It's about a girl and her shoe. When something is so in mass culture and you have almost nothing to do with it, it's kind of cool. It's weird but not disagreeable." [FWD]

It strikes me as fairly weird that we're conditioned to pick apart the relationships of both strangers and friends based on their public displays of affection—or lack thereof. I don't think there's any way Carey and Cannon could win in this situation; when Cannon came on stage, he gave Mariah a peck on the cheek- a fairly normal hello, I think, from a husband to a wife.

But Oprah wasn't satisfied: "'Oh you did that "We've been married a long time kiss'," she said, "You didn't give the real kiss, come on." This, of course, led to an awkward exchange between Mr. and Mrs. Carey-Cannon, with Mariah bending away from her husband as he tried to lay a smooch on her. Now, of course, people will speculate that the awkwardness is a sign that the marriage is in trouble, but really, the awkwardness is there because Oprah forced the two of them to give a public display of affection that Mariah wasn't comfortable with.

If Cannon had come out and started making out with Carey, people would be saying that they were "trying too hard" or attempting to "prove something." So he gave her a dumb peck on the cheek. Big deal, Oprah! It doesn't mean they aren't in love—it just means they choose to keep their makeout sessions private. Why isn't that okay?

I suppose all we know about the romantic lives of others is what they choose to show us, and as a culture that is inherently nosy, we often try to pick up on things that may or may not be there, based solely upon how people choose to act in public. So what say you, commenters? Do you judge people on their PDAs? And do you limit or exaggerate your own public displays of affection for fear of being judged by others...or Oprah?

Don't Drop Me! Mariah Carey Shares Awkward Kiss With Husband Nick Cannon [Daily Mail]

There is, perhaps, no one more important to the teen comedy genre than John Hughes, who, after producing a string of classic films in the 1980s, has now faded into the background, choosing to live a slightly reclusive life away from the film world and the adoration of the fans who grew up with his movies. Hughes' films, while loved by many, are not without their flaws: notably racist stereotypes, which are explored in Gene Luen Yang's brilliant graphic novel American Born Chinese.

And what of the boyfriends of the John Hughes world? For many of us, they were straight up Tiger Beat material. But how do they hold up now? Let's break it down, shall we?

• Jake Ryan: Sixteen Candles
• Pros:Handsome, wants "a serious girlfriend, somebody I can love who's gonna love me back," thinks it's kind of cool, the way you're always looking at him.
• Cons:Wasn't interested in Samantha Baker until he saw a quiz she answered in which she admitted she'd sleep with him, pretty much handed his drunk girlfriend over to Farmer Ted as long as "she gets home. You can't leave her in a parking lot somewhere." Oh, and he handed his drunk girlfriend over for a pair of Samantha's underwear.
• Final Analysis: Jake Ryan is easy on the eyes and seems to really want to be loved. But his interest in Samantha seems to spring from the fact that she's pretty obsessively in love with him already. That being said, I probably wouldn't turn him down if he showed up in his car outside of my sister's wedding to whisk me away. She's getting married in May, 2010, Jake. Just sayin'.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: B-
• 
  
  
  
• Blaine McDonnagh: Pretty In Pink
• Pros: Sweet, charming, clearly wants to break way from his insulated elitist world, willing to embarrass himself at the record store with a lame purchase just to talk to Andie.
• Cons:Still has trouble breaking free of his class, his privilege is often showing, insults Andie's outfit, easily influenced by rich jackass Steff, "Blaine? That's a major appliance, not a name!", asks Andie to prom and then totally blows her off. What about prom, Blaine?! What about prom?!?
• Final Analysis: Blaine is a bit of a tool. He makes a big dramatic "I always believed in you, you just never believed in me" speech at the end of the movie, which is total bullshit, because Andie wasn't the one to hide the relationship, break off the prom date, or give up due to pressure from her friends. Blaine was the one without the faith. The original ending of the film had Andie ending up with her best friend, Duckie Dale. That would have been better for everyone, as evidenced by Andie and Blaine's makeup kiss at the end of the film, which is probably the most awkward kiss in screen history.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: C-
• 
  
  
  
• Duckie Dale: Pretty In Pink
• Pros: Excellent dancer, good taste in music, snappy dresser, sweet, quirky, extremely loyal, willing to stand up to anyone on Andie's behalf.
• Cons: Needy, calls about 200 times per day, a bit stalkerish, extremely emo, filthy shoes, can go from sweet to annoying in 2.5 seconds, is already in "The Friend Zone."
• Final Analysis: I actually had a Duckie Dale in high school, and he is still a very dear friend of mine. Duckie could go either way here: he could be a really great boyfriend, or just a really great boy friend. Either way, you'd want him in your corner.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: B+
• 
  
  
  
• John Bender:The Breakfast Club
• Pros: Rebellious, handsome in a kind of badass way, hard exterior covers emotional interior, could hook you up with illegal substances if that's your kind of thing.
• Cons: Serious temper issues, family problems, can be quite cruel, sexist, and obnoxious, might not actually get out of high school, due to detention issues, until he's about 29 or so.
• Final Analysis: The only reason to date John Bender would be the reason John Bender himself gives: "Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?"
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade:D
• 
  
  
  
• Ferris Bueller:Ferris Bueller's Day Off
• Pros: Clearly a genius, could basically get you out of everything, would be a blast to hang out with, loved by nearly everyone, could take you to many fine dining establishments with his friend Cameron, thanks to their Abe Froman scheme.
• Cons: Could get exhausting trying to keep up with Ferris, might not be able to trust such an accomplished pathological liar, you'd have to spend a lot of time with Cameron, who isn't always sunshine and lollipops.
• Final Analysis:: Ferris Bueller is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking him up.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: A
• 
  
  
  
• Farmer Ted: Sixteen Candles
• Pros: Really likes to dance, will drive you home if you've had too much to drink, respects a girl who will help out a geek, doesn't spill the details of your night together to his nerdy friends, thinks a girl in a hat is "just so Vogue," admits that he's "King of the Dipshits," which at least shows some level of self-awareness.
• Cons:Will ask to borrow your underpants for 10 minutes and then proceed to show them to the entire geek population of the school, the headgear shown above, may pass gas on the dance floor, goes by "Farmer Ted."
• Final Analysis: He's young and he's learning. Once he gets past his awkward headgear-King-of-the-Dipshits phase, he might actually be a decent boyfriend. Just don't take him dancing. It's better for everyone that way.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: B
• 
  
  
  
• Keith Nelson: Some Kind Of Wonderful
• Pros: Artistic, thoughtful, romantic, wants Amanda Jones not to feel trapped by her economic status, which he shares, liked by a variety of people in his high school, including the toughest bullies and his best friend, a female drummer named Watts.
• Cons: Oblivious that Watts loves him, only seems to "love" Amanda because she's beautiful, spends his entire college education fund on a pair of diamond earrings, feeds into classist pressures by organizing a fancy date (also financed by his college fund) in order to impress a girl.
• Final Analysis: Here's another example of a tacked on Hughes romance: Watts and Keith end up together, as he suddenly realizes he's loved her all along, but for most of the film he's concerned with appearances, notably Amanda's and his own ability to appear upper class and able to impress her.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: C
• 
  
  
  
• Andrew Clark: The Breakfast Club
• Pros: Athletic, likes to eat, likes dancing while high, will open up to the right girl, even if she makes snow scenes with her own dandruff.
• Cons: Daddy issues, tapes other boys' buns together, falls for the ol' "You got a makeover, now we can date," BS.
• Final Analysis: Andrew Clark is a bit hard to read. It will be interesting to see who he becomes once he's not the high school jock anymore. Could be a great boyfriend, but seems to fall too easily to peer pressure.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: C+
• 
  
  
  
• Steff: Pretty In Pink
• Pros: Gorgeous, attractive in that asshole Chuck Bass kind of way, can wear a white suit to high school like nobody else.
• Cons:Elitist, classist, doesn't handle rejection well, treats his girlfriend Betty like "trash," clearly hates himself, as pointed out by Blaine, says things like, "I wouldn't be too jazzed if I were you."
• Final Analysis:Steff is the guy you make out with, but don't actually date, which, I'm pretty sure, he's kind of "jazzed" about.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: C-
• 
  
  
  
• Brian Johnson:The Breakfast Club
• Pros: Smart, excellent writer, very sweet, member of the Math Club and the Physics Club.
• Cons:Filled with anxiety, perfectionist, awkward at times, embarrassed about his lack of sexual experience, likes to stick pens up his nose.
• Final Analysis: This kid was way ahead of his time. Though he played the nerd in this film, this character laid down the template for every character Michael Cera has played since, and Michael Cera happens to be one of the reigning dreamboats of the teen comedy world. Sweet geeks rule the world now; Brian was just 20 years too early.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: A-
• 
  
• Beethoven:Beethoven
• Pros:Likes to cuddle, loyal, sleeps a lot, enjoys eating, clearly has a taste for classical music, when he's around, hilarity will ensue.
• Cons:Slobber problem, destructive, sheds a lot, is actually a dog.
• Final Analysis: He's a DOG, you guys.
• John Hughes Boyfriend Grade: F
• John Hughes Hilarious Family Pet With A Destructive Streak But A Heart Of Gold Grade:A++

Love letters are a tricky business: they're meant to be intense, personal, and as honest as possible. But the art of transferring love onto paper is a task that only a handful of people have mastered: the rest of us often sound like we've been crying for three days while listening to Disintegration (though that may very well be the case, depending on the type of love letter). As a very dramatic teenager, I used to actually write love letters and tack on one of Shakespeare's most emo sonnets, Sonnet 65:

Since brass, nor stone, nor earth, nor boundless sea,
But sad mortality o'er-sways their power,
How with this rage shall beauty hold a plea,
Whose action is no stronger than a flower?
O, how shall summer's honey breath hold out
Against the wreckful siege of battering days,
When rocks impregnable are not so stout,
Nor gates of steel so strong, but Time decays?
O fearful meditation! where, alack,
Shall Time's best jewel from Time's chest lie hid?
Or what strong hand can hold his swift foot back?
Or who his spoil of beauty can forbid?

O, none, unless this miracle have might,
That in black ink my love may still shine bright.

Apparently, I just wanted everyone to know that my deep love for whatever-his-name-was would, I thought, live on through my wretched poetry. Good lord!

The last love letter I wrote was probably about 10 years ago. I was 18, and still pretty stuck in tortured poet mode, and I wanted to write one of those classic "I will love you forever even though we are at different schools now" letters before going to college. When I finished writing it, however, I read it out loud, and I was pretty horrified by how it sounded, because, well, it sounded insane. And not only that, but it sounded false. The feelings in a love letter are often words that we feel we're supposed to put down, expressions we've heard before, things we think the other person is hoping to hear. There is no real way to explain love, or to describe it, which is why so many people rely on poems and songs and movies to tack to their profiles in order to let the world know that their view on love is pretty close to whatever is being presented by a crew of hundreds of others.

That's not to say that all love letters are bad or stupid or poorly written: for the writer and the recipient, they mean a lot, they mean everything, and that's a lovely thing. But that's the weird thing about love letters, I guess. If you're not the one in love, they're just a silly collection of words that don't mean anything at all.

What say you, commenters? Is there any good way to write a love letter? Feel free to share your love letter experiences in the comments.

Earlier: The Mark Sanford Emails: A Textual Analysis

The study, which followed the levels of two hormones: oxytocin("known to be involved in social bonding") and cortisol (a stress hormone), in 15 heterosexual couples before and after kissing "shows kissing is much more complex and causes hormonal changes and things we never thought occurred," says Lafayette Professor Wendy Hill. "We tend to think more about who we are kissing and how it feels, yet there are a lot of other things happening."

The "other things" Hill refers to are, of course, hormone level triggers and the possibility that saliva contains pheromones. In the study, "cortisol levels fell in both sexes, although oxytocin levels rose in men but fell in women." The researchers believe that the sterile testing environment may have something to do with women not being into the kisses, and have since started testing in a more romantic environment. Because nothing says romantic like, "Kiss here, please, and then let us test your hormones. We'll pay you!"

And perhaps it's more than just environmental factors that influence whether or not a woman responds chemically to a kiss: Susan Hughes, co-author of Sex Differences in Romantic Kissing among College Students: An Evolutionary Perspective notes that "Females place a lot more importance on the breath and teeth of the person. This shows how well you care for yourself and your hygiene and women are a lot more picky when it comes to that."

So what say you, commenters? Is kissing an evolutionary means of finding a good mate? Or is a kiss just a kiss?

Oh, and because I already got the song in your head (sorry!):



Science Finds The Passion Hidden In Kiss [Times Online]

According to the Observer, "In the books, Jenny is a short, busty, curly-haired gal who is constantly getting trampled on. The creators decided early on to take the character on the show in a different direction, Ms. Savage said. 'We wanted a character that in this journey of trying to fit in at school might actually succeed in her goal and even triumph over the other girls at some point."

Yeah, it's soapy and it's probably made for adults, but teens are watching this and possibly thinking: it's ok to be poor as long as you masquerade as rich and are gorgeous. And anyway, Momsen, while as pretty and "coltish" as the Observer claims, cannot act her way out of a burlap sack. In the Blair vs. Jenny cage match, I will always, always be rooting for Ms. Waldorf FTW!

The "It" Girl Of Gossip Girl [Observer]