<![CDATA[Jezebel: wwjjd]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: wwjjd]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/wwjjd http://jezebel.com/tag/wwjjd <![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Michael Lohan]]> Michael Lohan claims that he's trying to help Lindsay, but after running his mouth on Radar, Maury Povitch, and The Insider, it's hard to believe that he's not cashing in on his daughter's troubles. It's time to face the judge.



























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<![CDATA[Judge Judy Won't Rule In Favor Of Litigants Who Make Bitch Faces]]> On yesterday's JJ, a man sued his former coworker for having him falsely arrested for sexual misconduct. Initially, the defendant's claims seemed valid, until JJ uncovered a number of inconsistencies in her story, and a history of addiction and theft.



The plaintiff had been acquitted of all charges in a criminal court. It turns out that the defendant had made the allegations against him only after she had been accused of stealing money from the store in which they were working. Her, the defendant admits that her employment was being "watched by the state" after she had failed multiple drug tests—one while pregnant—and had her child taken away from her. If she were to be fired from the hardware store, she'd be in trouble with the state again.


In a civil court, the burden of proof for the plaintiff was much heavier than "beyond a reasonable doubt." However, when he played audio excerpts of testimony at his trial—in which it was revealed that the defendant had been accused of stealing money at her three previous jobs—JJ had come to her decision. She awarded the plaintiff $2500, not because of the defendant's questionable history, but because she had made statements under oath in the first trial that contradicted her statements under oath in JJ's court.

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<![CDATA[Judge Judy: You Can't Exploit People, Even If They're Exploiting Themselves]]> Today on JJ, a woman sued the owner of a strip club for using pictures of her from the internet on his promotional fliers. His reasoning: it's okay to exploit anyone who posts provocative pictures online.



He's, of course, a gigantic asshole, saying that the judgment against him (he was ordered to pay the plaintiff $5,000) is worth it, because the fliers with her image made him a lot more money than that.

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<![CDATA[Judge Judy, Doggy Style]]> This weekend, at the Times Square Dog Day Masquerade, Peanut the chihuahua dressed up as Judge Judy. Don't pee on her hydrant and tell her it's raining! [NY Daily News]

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<![CDATA[Judge Judy: Landlords Can Not Confiscate A Tenant's Marijuana]]> Today's episode featured a landlord suing his tenant for assault after the tenant tackled him to the ground when the landord tried to confiscate his marijuana. JJ said that nobody has a legal right to take anything from anyone.

The plaintiff did, in fact, have a prescription for medical marijuana due to a neck injury, but JJ knew it was baloney when she found out that he's a surfer. Still, she dismissed the plaintiff's case, because he had no legal standing.

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<![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Jon Gosselin]]> Between his shenanigans of allegedly wiping out his family's bank account, claiming he no longer wants his family filmed, then three days later, trying to film his children's birthday party, Jon Gosselin is out of order. Judge Judy is needed.



























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<![CDATA[Judge Judy: "Don't Visit Your Bad Judgment Onto Your Children!"]]> Today, a man was suing his ex-girlfriend for the return of stupid crap, like a PlayStation purchased in 2001. Additionally, the defendant has not been allowing him to see his children. An incredulous JJ exploded at their display of immaturity.

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<![CDATA["Sober Companions" Are A Lot Like Judge Judy]]> Last night's Intervention focused on "sober companions," former addicts who help others with the process of getting and staying clean. One such woman, Donna—who was assigned to work with a habitual relapser named Tara—was full of Judge Judyisms.



Tara is a homeless woman in her late 20s who is addicted to partying in general. Her drug of choice wasn't really made clear. According to the urinalysis Donna gave her, Tara came up positive for just about every single drug listed, although she claimed she'd been sober for several days. Tara lost custody of her firstborn daughter after her pediatrician discovered cocaine in the child's system. Shortly thereafter, Tara's family staged an intervention, but she was kicked out of the facility when it was discovered that Tara was pregnant, and the father was her drug dealer. She subsequently lost custody of that child, as well. She was finally ready to get her life together, and hired Donna as her sober companion to help her out and get her into a sober living facility. However, Tara wanted one last party before checking in, which Donna was not having. Basically, Donna didn't believe a word that Tara said about anything, which led her to say, "You can piss on my leg and tell me it's raining…" before walking out the door.


The sober living facility Tara was to check in to requires that residents be clean for at least 48 hours before moving in. However, Tara opted to get as high as possible instead.


After partying all night, Tara contacted Donna and told her she was ready to get serious about her sobriety. Donna invited Tara to stay in her hotel room for 48 hours to make sure she was sober so that she would be able to check into a sober living facility. Upon searching Tara's bags, Donna found a freshly used needle, as well as other people's checkbooks and identification. Donna then put her own valuables in a safe deposit box so that Tara would not have to opportunity to steal her identity. Tara finally checked in to sober living and 24 hours later, she relapsed and disappeared. She returned to the facility three weeks later, but because of some felonies she was charged with, she faces a very long jail sentence.

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<![CDATA[Judge Judy Doesn't Like Girls Who Don't Pay For Their Own Implants]]> Today on Judge Judy, a man was suing a woman—his former friend—for money he lent her to get breast implants. This girl didn't even stand a chance with JJ.

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<![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Joe Wilson]]> Earlier this week, during President Obama's address about health care reform to a joint session of Congress, Rep. Joe Wilson yelled out, "You lie!" There's only one person who can put a heckler in his place—Judge Judy.



























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<![CDATA[Justice Sotomayor Will Wear A Judge Judy-ish Collar]]> Did you know that judicial robes are designed for men? It turns out that Judge Judy's neck doily is actually a "judicial collar" that many female judges get specially made to alter the men's robes they are issued.

Justice Sonia Sotomayor will sport her own version of her "judicial collar," in the session beginning September 8.

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<![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Internet Commenters]]> Depending on the site, internet commenters can hurtful, stupid, racist, sexist, and homophobic. Oh, and they can't spell for shit. The worst is that they're so judgmental. So it's time for them to face the judge—Judge Judy.






























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<![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Glenn Beck]]> Between his jokes about poisoning Nancy Pelosi and his accusations of President Obama being a racist, Glenn Beck has been serving up the crazy—more than usual—lately. Judge not, Glenn, lest we be judged by Judge Judy.












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<![CDATA[Martha Plimpton Meets Judge Judy]]> Martha Plimpton is a huge Judge Judy fan. Who knew? The actress and her pen pal took a trip to see JJ at a taping of her show. More pics after the jump.



How awesome is she!?


It's like she's living my dream.


I want royalties on this shirt!


The Greatest Day, Ever [Flickr]
"Um" is not an answer [April Winchell]

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<![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Joe Jackson]]> Three days after his son passed away, Joe Jackson began using the free publicity to promote his new record label. But that's nothing compared to the decades-worth of horror stories about his parenting. Should he even be around MJ's kids?
























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<![CDATA[Judge Judy: Man Sues Over Dog Bite To "Business" Portion Of Scalp]]> Today on Judge Judy, a man with a mullet sued the owner of a Pit Bull after the dog brutally attacked him, first locking on to his crotch and then puncturing a hole in his head, causing excess bleeding.

The defendant is the boyfriend of the plaintiff's daughter. JJ ruled in the plaintiff's favor, saying that, even though the defendant did not sic his dog on the plaintiff, it's still his responsibility because he knew the nature and physical attributes (jaws that lock) of the dog when he purchased it.

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<![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Mark Sanford]]> Last week, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford went missing and scared his staff. Later he admitted to that he was having an extramarital affair in Argentina. Maybe Judge Judy can show him the way to the Appalachian Trail.

































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<![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Breeders]]> With all the fanfare about the Duggars, Jon and Kate Plus 8, and Nadya Suleman, it seems like the public has a disturbing fascination with large families that vacillates between adoration and scorn. It's time for Judge Judy's decision.






































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<![CDATA[Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy Vs. Janice Dickinson]]> Janice Dickinson was recently on FNTM…and that's not all that she was on. Wasted, she fell down the stairs and cursed at the aspiring models. Dickinson has been through rehab several times before, and claims she does not have a problem. But once she faces Judge Judy, she certainly will.






































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<![CDATA[Judge Judy Does Not Like Gigolos]]> Today on Judge Judy, a woman suing a man for money she lent him (surprise!) was featured. The defendant said it wasn't a loan, but money paid for services rendered - "services" being sex - and that the plaintiff is one of four clients. JJ didn't buy the hustler defense.

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