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♠ Final ♠
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
So he's free go into womens restrooms and make lewd comments with puff paint and or glitter gel?
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
01/02/09

@Final: Will there be a lady who does this, too? Like a really creative and vengeful woman who will wreak havoc in the mall bathrooms using craft glue and sparkly fake rhinestones? If this position has not yet been filled, I would like to humbly submit my application.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
Oh, Sharpie. How I love thee. I have the set with all the colors. I have plain black ones, more than I can count. AND!! mr. terrible came home the other day with-get ready- RETRACTABLE FINE-POINT SHARPIES. I nearly shat from excitement. Really. I have a ridiculous, soppy love for fancy paper and pens.
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Jello Mix
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
When I lived in Boston I was stalked by a strange dude who would write horrible erotic poetry about me and read it aloud to me in public places. It was creepy, yes, but it was also goddamn hilarious. Especially when they arrested him.
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nellicat
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
If felt tip pens are criminalized, only criminals will have felt tip pens.
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BabyJane
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
They'll have to pry my Sharpie from my cold, dead hands!
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VaginaWig is A Merkin
01/02/09

@Neely O'Hara (BabyJane was so 2008): I carry Sharpies everywhere, yet never have a need for one.

I also carry Play-Doh everywhere. This has come in handy twice in the last month: once for a late night/early morning Cranium game in which the Cranium clay was missing, and on New Year's Eve when some woman showed up to the party with children in tow.
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BabyJane
01/02/09

@TheVaginaWig: I am genuinely impressed!
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Kivrin
01/02/09

@TheVaginaWig: Nice! I carry a Silly Putty egg in my purse. I also have a variety of similar toys (e.g., Etch-a-Sketch) in my office. People think I'm nuts until they bring their kids to work one day -- then I'm brilliant.
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Mkp-hearts-NYC
01/02/09

@Kivrin: Disney movies on my iPod! I like to help babysit kids on the subway when they're fidgety.
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VaginaWig is A Merkin
01/02/09

@Kivrin: Yeah, I have an unnatural obsession with Play-Doh. I sniff it and sometimes eat small pieces of it. I just CAN'T STOP.
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twinkette
01/02/09

@Neely O'Hara (BabyJane was so 2008):
My boyfriend is now realizing what a terrible mistake (for him) it was to buy me pink sharpies for Christmas. Although I think he has accepted the fact that he will always have little pink hearts doodled on his legs.
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VaginaWig is A Merkin
01/02/09

@twinkette: The Sharpie packs that come with like 24 colors are the best things ever. Well, except for Pay-Doh fun packs that come with all the colors.
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Kivrin
01/02/09

@TheVaginaWig: I'm kind of obsessed with the Smart Mass "thinking putty" they sell over at ThinkGeek.com. It's awesome.

[www.thinkgeek.com]
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VaginaWig is A Merkin
01/02/09

@Kivrin: I didn't have to get further than "It bounces!" to know that I must own this.
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AuntieEm (robots from the year 2000 > zombies)
01/02/09

@Kivrin: I used to keep a few matchbox cars in my purse for things like that.
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JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing!
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
Now he'll be forced to harass through INTERPRETIVE DANCE!
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Mama Penguino
01/02/09

@Jessica Hussein Lovejoy loves Decapitatey Wayne Peterson: Or worse, he'll write poetry.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
I'm sorry, young man but if you can't behave maturely with your markers, then I'm just going to have to take them away.
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morninggloria
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
I was banned from carrying a bedazzler after bedazzling lewd comments about the penis sizes of ex boyfriends in public locations. Now I just skywrite.
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mbprice
01/02/09

@morninggloria: Frankly, if anyone bedazzled anything about my penis, regardless of its assessment, I'd be pretty impressed and honored.
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labeled
01/02/09

@morninggloria: I would've moved on to Gem It! by Billy Mays, myself.
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Laulau
01/02/09

@morninggloria: I feel like I have now discovered my one true calling. Thank you.
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Kivrin
01/02/09

@morninggloria: I've been banned from buying Puffy Paint in 6 states for similar reasons.
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rednrowdy
01/02/09

@labeled: i love billy mays and everything he sells on tv. when i hear him yelling on tv, i smile! it's like "awwww...he's selling something really cool that you can't find in stores"....
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BabyJane
01/02/09

@rednrowdy: Me too. He's my drug of choice.
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Mkp-hearts-NYC
01/02/09

@mbprice: Except, perhaps, your actual...ahem...attachment.
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ItchykooParker
01/02/09

@labeled: YOU LIKE BILLY MAYS GEM IT!?! WHY NOT JUST SHOUT IT, JUST LIKE BILLY?!? I'M SURE BILLY TYPES EVERYTHING IN SHOUT CAPITALS JUST LIKE THIS!! HE IS THE REASON MY MUTE-BUTTON REMOTE IS NEVER FAR FROM MY HAND!!!
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mbprice
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
The man has a compulsive disorder; I don't think a court order is going to stop him.
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LunaLLena
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
Did he write, '867-5309, Jenny I want you!'????
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
01/02/09

@Monsita: As a 'Jenny' myself, this is the only song I hate more than than 'Jennifer Eccles' or whatever it's called.
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BuffySummers
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
How do they plan on enforcing such ban? Won't he just switch to ballpoints or spray paint?
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labeled
01/02/09

@BuffySummers: Or, you know, assault?
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PaintedTrollop
01/02/09

In reply to Pen Pal
All the women should go by his house with markers and write in big letters: "David Jell has a tiny penis."
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