He was going to, but couldn't find a good time. Between cops, her moving, and me deploying, it just never seemed like the right time to have a weenie roast on her Maxima.

In the end I won. I make twice what she does now, drive a Benz, AND have a house. She can kiss my fat ass.

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Oh, and she told me point blank that I had a sexually charged dynamic with all men on staff (and students), and that in effect, I constantly was, verbatim, "saying to them, 'please FUCK me.'"

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The guy who is principal in the building where I spend most of my time? No problems.

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She LOVED me when I started out and then when I became ill after working for her for two years, she HATED me. I occasionally had to take sick days and the more often I did the more she would pressure me until I was sicker than before. This evolved into making me almost completely incapable of doing my job and her response to that was to yell at me.

Finally she did to me what she had done to many other employees and rounded up her current group of favorites (very different from the favorites of even the year before) and began to isolate me and push me out. I had seen her do this about 10 times in the previous years so it was weird to be experiencing it. All I cared about was finishing my internship for that last year.

Finally my fourth year finished, I had the summer off and her supervisor hired me for a different school site. I mean, really. What does that tell you?

The intern they hired to replace me took the job in the Spring and then called and quit on the first day of school in September, so they had no one for months. Then they hired someone that she didn't trust was competent and she actually called me at my new site to ask me to guide this person through a difficult task. And I did. Because getting help for the student was more important to me than wanting to punish her.

Two years after I left her school she was promoted to a district office job that I believe she was tremendously qualified for and which required that she not supervise anyone but her secretary. She had to make nice to all the teachers and other staff that she had alienated at her school, but I think they really put her in the right place.

The CFS/Fibromyalgia that I contracted back then has prevented me from working full time ever since although I've had a couple of consulting/working at home jobs since I left there. The emotional turmoil of it still lingers for me and whenever I can work I have trouble with trying to be good enough even though people tell me my work is terrific.

I'm getting better, but I have to say for a long time I wanted her dead.

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I think women at work, epecially those on an executive track, focus a LOT on learning how to manage men as peers, subordinates, or bosses. I think that equal attention should be paid to learning how to manage our relationships with other women. We tend to cast perfect strangers into these imaginary roles and with other women, I guess subconciously we think it is ok to act out our own personal dramas with them. I worry that I am a bully; when I was younger I was a bully in general and part of my career development has been learning how to channel my agression constructively and without driving my coworkers and staff crazy. I had to actively work on it and also get some coaching and mentoring from Sr management, both male AND female. I think it is a major flaw of mine and I am glad I have had a real opportunity to work on it. I can only hope that others get the same chance to be aware of and fix things that may be holding them back.

(I may not bully anymore, but I still get my shit DONE and I can bring the 'polite bitch' if I need to defend my staff or get a vendor to cooperate!!)

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I tempted a few years ago, often in the financial sector and there was a lot of man on man bullying, far more than I've seen in other jobs. At one hedgefund, the boss ripped one of the guy's apart for a mistake, threw a phone at him, called him every name in the book. I wouldn't have been surprised if this guy had harmed himself afterwards (though he didn't)- that's how bad it was. But I don't think any of the guys in the office would tick abusive boxes for that boss, it was just accepted as a response to a fuck up.

I don't think we need female buisness women to take seminars on not bullying, the issue isn't some defect of the feminine, its being an asshole. Let's deal with the individual assholes out there and not feed the women are catty myth.

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Dang.

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Ooops. Sorry. I appear to be venting.

Now I work in a macho office where I have been told that I will never be a consultant because - and my boss said this in these exact words - "you need a penis to succeed."

Which is worse?

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