working women - Jezebel

posts about #workingwomen more →
Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
Sotomayor Dressed For Success • DNA Evidence Helps Solve Cold Cases
The Good Wife: Women Undermining Women
Mr. Big Plays Housewife? How Bazaar
Nannies: Friends, Family, Or Employees?
Recessionistas
Were Women In The '50s & '60s Really Like The Ones On Mad Men?
Public Opinion Down On British Working Mums

Discrimination Complaints By Pregnant Women Are On The Rise

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

jonesjl
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
Today I sat through my school professional development day. We haven't been doing well on our tests so we have to have mandatory professional development above and beyond the usual. It has been quite soul crushing.

Our principal is terrible. She has very little leadership skills, she speaks to us like we are children, and she screams all the time. We gossip about about her constantly, but it's not "gossip" (though she did drunk dial our school secretary once and we did talk about that a lot) . We talk about how her incompetence and lack of leadership skills are hurting our school, creating an environment of negativity, and helping to drag down our scores. We talk about how she plays favorites and is inconsistent with procedures. We talk about how she tries to make us hate each other and tear down good professional relationships which takes away from a feeling of community in our school.

It all came to a head today. We're finally realizing that we are all mad as hell and we aren't going to take it anymore. It helped us come together as a staff, which is something that she had been trying to tear down for the last few years. I think we really came together today, and it was through "gossip". #gossip
Reply

LadySoprano is a Fat-Fighting Superwoman promoted this comment jonesjl was starred jonesjl was unstarred

LadySoprano is a Fat-Fighting Superwoman
11/03/09

@jonesjl: I wish you all the best with that situation. I am a teacher, too, and I have a boss who plays favorites, talks about teacher performance with other teachers (a union issue) and has had several complaints made against her. It is not a fun environment. #gossip
Reply

PennyFarthing
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
What about impersonations? My co-workers and I usually just impersonate people behind their backs. I don't think it's mean spirited necessarily but it can be funny as hell. #gossip
Reply

Her Grace promoted this comment PennyFarthing was starred PennyFarthing was unstarred

Her Grace
11/03/09

@PennyFarthing: Would you be okay with them doing it behind your back? No? Then you're being bullies. #gossip
Reply

Her Grace was starred Her Grace was unstarred

FaceMonkey
11/03/09

@PennyFarthing: I had a coworker who did the best impressions of our other coworkers. He did one of me too and I thought it was hilarious! Everyone should just lighten up a bit. Its not being a bully, its being a clown. #gossip
Reply

PuffyTail promoted this comment FaceMonkey was starred FaceMonkey was unstarred

PennyFarthing
11/03/09

@FaceMonkey: Agree. Our office was a bunch of goofs. The guys had one of me and it was very funny - at first I was like "I don't say "whatever" that much, do I?" - but I do! If you can't have fun at work than what a sucky life. #gossip
Reply

PennyFarthing was starred PennyFarthing was unstarred

itsonreserve
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
Office gossip is like a Darwin thing to me - everyone does it, but only the stupid people are so brash they get caught and punished. And then the rest of us can go back to talking about them at the happy hour they aren't invited to.

Also, if you're a boss and you're employees gossip but do well (i.e. good test scores for those teachers) let it go. It may mean they fear you, which might be a good thing. People in power are often listened to but rarely liked. In a phrase, you're not here to make friends. #gossip
Reply

formergr promoted this comment itsonreserve was starred itsonreserve was unstarred

TurtleWexlerKickedMe
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
My former office was ripe with gossip - some funny and entertaining, some that sucked. And for a huge global company, it was a no-brainer that what I did in the London office was being talked about in the NY office.

I do agree that some gossip is good, because it's bonding. I'm at a company now where there doesn't seem to be much gossip - or else I'm just blissfully not involved in it. Which is both helpful and harmful. #gossip
Reply

morninggloria
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm one of the gossip hubs in my office. It's not my fault. I sit in an area that is far away from my bosses, and people like to come and talk to me when they want to waste time or are bored and don't have anything better to do. I suspect that they think that because I sit in an underpopulated area of the office that I therefore must not talk to anyone. False. I know more about most people in that office than I care to admit. Some of it awesome (I'm sleeping with a married and very famous professional athlete!) and some super gross (I have all of these uterine cysts and they keep popping) and some of it valuable (I know about all of the early release days and most HR policies before I'm supposed to). #gossip
Reply

morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred

la.donna.pietra
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
Academia is the best for gossip. Hands down. Between the incredibly tiny global professional circles of specialties, the frequent position changes, the constant influx of attractive young things, and the tendency for people who appear blindingly smart on paper to be dumber than toast socially, it cannot be beat. Add a soupcon of athletics-related drama and funding cuts from the state, and it's never boring around here.
Reply

Edited by la.donna.pietra at 11/03/09 2:09 PM la.donna.pietra was starred la.donna.pietra was unstarred

bailaoragaditana
11/03/09

@la.donna.pietra: Absolutely! And don't forget the subtle-but-vicious undercutting of rivals in scholarly journals, the colloquium hijinks, and the plain crazy shit that can go down when you serve wine to socially inept dons at seminars. Even death doesn't guarantee they'll stop gossipping about you. #gossip
Reply

la.donna.pietra promoted this comment bailaoragaditana was starred bailaoragaditana was unstarred

la.donna.pietra
11/03/09

@bailaoragaditana: Oh yeah. Booze. My last university was in a super-conservative state and didn't allow alcohol at any school functions. I used to think it was pure uptight nonsense until I arrived here. No, turns out it's actually an extremely sensible policy to maintain the peace. #gossip
Reply

la.donna.pietra was starred la.donna.pietra was unstarred

bailaoragaditana
11/03/09

@la.donna.pietra: Would that I could! My institution comes with an inbuilt and much-cherished tradition of alcoholism, and it almost always results in unbelievable absurdities. I can't even imagine what it would be like without all the drunkenness!

On the upside, as you say, we are never, ever short of good gossip material! #gossip
Reply

bailaoragaditana was starred bailaoragaditana was unstarred

LoSpaz
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
Interesting. Most of my workplace gossip takes place when a group of us goes out for drinks after work - it somehow seems less fraught if we aren't on the premises. But it's also given me some insight into certain coworkers' personalities and also made me feel better that, say, I'm not the only target of someone's rage issues.

Currently my volunteer job - completely separate from my paid job - is abuzz with gossip about two people having an affair. It's both scintillating in an "I can't believe it! Them?!" way and irritating, in that I feel one of the people involved has gotten special benefits from it and I have to work with that person for the next several months with a big fake smile on my face. It won't keep me from doing my job but it may keep me from doing it with as much enthusiasm. #gossip
Reply

hortense promoted this comment LoSpaz was starred LoSpaz was unstarred

AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
As one who works in a poisonously gossipy office, I can see no good coming of it.

I work in a charity, made mostly of women, almost all of whom are white, upper-middle class, and middle aged. My co-workers care significantly less for the good work they're supposed to be doing than who said what about whom, and who bought what, and what the queen of the office will think, etc. etc. etc. It's enough to justify my lunchtime cocktails. Gossip is poison, and makes it almost impossible for me (and the few others like me) to work effectively, which may or may not be why I'm on Jezebel at 2 in the afternoon rather than doing my job. #gossip
Reply

curiousgeorgiana
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
Word to the wise: no gossiping during layoffs. Hardest time to avoid doing it -- yet the time where you're most likely to end up on a short list if you do.

Stay away. Better still: Duct tape your mouth and ears for plausible deniability. #gossip
Reply

curiousgeorgiana was starred curiousgeorgiana was unstarred

BytheSea
11/04/09

@curiousgeorgiana: But it's the most important time to LISTEN to gossip. #gossip
Reply

BytheSea was starred BytheSea was unstarred

JessickerFletcher
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
Gossip in the workplace is a good thing? What's next, headbands? #gossip
Reply

JessickerFletcher was starred

femme-bot
11/03/09

@JessickerFletcher: You can't sit above me on the stairs at the met, OK?
Where's my yogurt? #gossip
Reply

JessickerFletcher promoted this comment femme-bot was starred femme-bot was unstarred

boobookitteh
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
"If people are talking positively it can be a way to enhance someone's reputation."

I've never actually heard people whispering in the corner about what a great person/worker someone is. I rarely hear it spoken out loud. And when i do usually people nod and agree and the conversation ends in less than 45 seconds. There is never a comprehensive deskside analysis of why and how someone is awesome and productive.

Now, if someone is massively incompetent or lazy?- that conversation can kill the whole day. Ironically bringing all work to a complete standstill. #gossip
Reply

EdnasEdibles promoted this comment boobookitteh was starred boobookitteh was unstarred

EdnasEdibles
11/03/09

Agree. Even if something starts out positive like "Hey, did you hear that Sue is getting a promotion?" it inevitably turns ugly like "Sue? What the hell does she deserve it!" etc. etc. etc. #gossip
Reply

EdnasEdibles was starred EdnasEdibles was unstarred

TurtleWexlerKickedMe
11/03/09

@boobookitteh: Maybe it's an anomaly, but people at my current and former jobs are very quick to talk up someone who's doing a great job. It's not unusual for me to pop my head in someone else's office and praise a member of their staff, for instance, or vice versa. I think it really speaks to the corporate culture. It's a shame that doesn't happen more often elsewhere! #gossip
Reply

LaFemme
11/03/09

@boobookitteh: I think you hear a lot of positive when new positions or promotions come out. At least in my experience people tend to "side" with people. "So and so is such an incompetent asshole, I hope he doesn't get this promotion. I hope X gets the job since he is soo nice and great to work with..." #gossip
Reply

LaFemme was starred LaFemme was unstarred

booter26
11/04/09

@BB: My feelings exactly. In our office, we say more good things about each other behind and to each others' face than negative, I think. Praise encourages quality performance and sometimes it's even better when you hear it second hand because it somehow confirms that if they're saying it to someone else besides you, it must be genuine. #gossip
Reply

BB promoted this comment booter26 was starred booter26 was unstarred

Eleanor Ramilly
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
A word of advice, gossip wisely. There are a few in my office who spew vapidly at anyone who will listen. How these people think their passive-aggressive behavior helps them is beyond me. Acting like other people are horrible to make yourself look better is childish.

"If people are talking positively it can be a way to enhance someone's reputation."

Yes, it'd be great if that happened more often. Sadly, I don't have too many people running up to my desk whispering "zomg, Rachel did so. well. in that meeting!"
I have a rule with myself where if I don't like someone, if their name comes up in conversation with coworkers I try and say something positive about them. #gossip
Reply

Eleanor Ramilly was starred Eleanor Ramilly was unstarred

Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux
11/03/09

@Eleanor Ramilly: Same here. I work in an overwhelmingly negative place and saying nice things about people who aren't around is my form of rebellion. #gossip
Reply

Eleanor Ramilly
11/03/09

@Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux: You get more flies with honey. It throws people off, too, and sort of switches the conversation a bit. The trick is finding something nice, that is sincere, about a person I dislike. Womp womp womp. #gossip
Reply

Eleanor Ramilly was starred Eleanor Ramilly was unstarred

brookster
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
I recall reading once that office gossip is in some ways valuable because it provides people with cues for appropriate behavior. Of course that assumes the gossip is not particularly mean-spririted. #gossip
Reply

hortense promoted this comment brookster was starred brookster was unstarred

emfish55
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
I never gossip at work. I just sometimes vehemently express my extreme dislike for certain other people in my office. Out of respect for them, I do it in hushed tones with my door closed. I don't want to hurt their feelings. #gossip
Reply

emfish55 was starred emfish55 was unstarred

sydbarrettsaves, emissary of hell
11/03/09

@emfish55: I like your style. #gossip
Reply

Eleanor Ramilly
11/03/09

@emfish55: Ah, yes. On multiple occasions I have given my boss the finger. Under my desk, that is. #gossip
Reply

Eleanor Ramilly was starred Eleanor Ramilly was unstarred

emfish55
11/03/09

@Eleanor Ramilly: I wait until she leaves my office, and then I go with the double finger and silently screamed vulgarities.

It's only a problem if someone else walks by. #gossip
Reply

emfish55 was starred emfish55 was unstarred

NoInheritance
11/03/09

@emfish55: I used to share an office with someone I despised, but there was a mini-wall dividing us. The double-fingers were thrown up regularly. #gossip
Reply

Kivrin promoted this comment NoInheritance was starred NoInheritance was unstarred

Cerridwen
11/03/09

@emfish55: This I can get behind. I have a coworker who routinely calls me into her office to discuss something, which turns into an open-door bitch session about the executive director, whose office is right across the hall. It is awkward in the extreme, especially because I actually share some of her issues with him but can't exactly agree out loud. So, I have started just closing the door automatically, in case it turns into another marathon gripe about the ED or how screwed up the whole darn organization is. I'm not opposed to discussing problems or something you dislike about the office, but it should be done in private most of the time. #gossip
Reply

Cerridwen was starred Cerridwen was unstarred

Kivrin
11/03/09

@NoInheritance: Last week I threw up the double fingers to someone on the other end of a conference call. Unfortunately there were other people in the room with me when I did it. They just laughed. #gossip
Reply

Kivrin was starred Kivrin was unstarred

NoInheritance
11/03/09

@Kivrin: Such a solid way to express a gripe! #gossip
Reply

NoInheritance was starred NoInheritance was unstarred

Kivrin
11/03/09

@NoInheritance: It is oddly satisfying. #gossip
Reply

Kivrin was starred Kivrin was unstarred

booter26
11/04/09

@Kivrin: Careful, though. My friend works for a Cisco subsidiary that sells video conferencing equipment. Every call, conference or otherwise, defaults to a video conference, which apparently had NOT been shared with a newer employee who worked from home and later discovered that she had just had a conference call with 25 people unshowered in her pajamas and messy home office and that they could SEE her. Hilarious, but HOW mortifying. That's something you should probably get the FYI on before going in. #gossip
Reply

Kivrin promoted this comment booter26 was starred booter26 was unstarred

Kivrin
11/04/09

@booter26: Ha, I appreciate the warning, but I don't have to worry about that in my office. Our phones are ancient. :)
Reply

Edited by Kivrin at 11/04/09 9:05 AM Kivrin was starred Kivrin was unstarred

femme-bot
11/03/09

In reply to Office Gossip: Can't Live With It, Shouldn't Live Without It
Whoever thinks there isn't gossip in the workplace has never worked retail or in sales. Or in a restaurant. You are fueled by gossip. And coffee. #gossip
Reply

Hiroine Protagonist promoted this comment femme-bot was starred femme-bot was unstarred

lastsinglestanding
11/03/09

@femme-bot: Whoever thinks there isn't gossip in the workplace ... is probably being gossiped about. #gossip
Reply

Hiroine Protagonist promoted this comment lastsinglestanding was starred

Mary McCarthyite
11/03/09

@femme-bot: Restaurants: yes. You gossip while drinking coffee (usually about hook-ups between other servers). I worked as a waitress in a country club for 4 years and this was rampant. It made everything a little bit more wacky. #gossip
Reply

Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred

Sunshineyness
11/03/09

@femme-bot: God, been in retail for 3 years if there was no fun gossip to be had then dear god I would have shot myself by now.

Honestly, I like gossiping about managers we hate because without it I'd feel completely alone in my hate and disgust for them and panic that it was me not them. And when I get passed over for promotion for shitty reasons it's nice to hear stories of it happening to others as well and knowing I'm not the only one they're screwing over with hours or opportunities. #gossip
Reply

Sunshineyness was starred Sunshineyness was unstarred

Earlier threads | All threads | Show hidden threads | Show featured threads only | Start a new discussion