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Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
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Kali Mama
11/23/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
I'm a female breadwinner, and I thank the FSM on my knees to have the luxury of being able to employ a housekeeper 3 hours a week.
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UGAdawg
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
I've had the opportunity to read her report. I was able to remote onto my desktop at work from home and downloaded the 18 page pdf paper. In it I found the key items.

1.) The research was done with 15 women and NOT 15,000 women as stated. (page 5)
2.) The age ranges were from 26 to 63 years of age.
3.) The quote from above and not found verbatim in the research was primarily attributed to women in the research who had children at home. Those that did not have any children or who's children had reached the age of 18.

"Working women who provide the majority of the household's income continue to articulate themselves as the ones who 'see' household messes and needs as a way to retain claim to an element of traditional female identity." (page 15)

One woman who was in the latter category stated that she had never successfully managed housework and was grateful to have her husband take over this process. (page 15)

4.) Some of the women in the paper indicated that they had to tell their husband what chores to do because as what one woman stated "my husband's a guy. He picks and chooses what chores he does." Pretty much they felt like they were given control over the housework but not necessarily wanting that control. (page 8) I found that important since it makes more of a statement on men and not the woman.

This research seems to be a jumping off point and not necessarily a complete picture given that only 15 women were studied. Most of the research focused on women's experiences with having control, valuing independence, feeling pressure and worry, valuing partner's contributions, feeling guilt and resentment, and valuing career progress. (page 1).

The Female Breadwinner: Phenomenological Experience
and Gendered Identity in Work/Family Spaces
Rebecca J. Meisenbach
DOI 10.1007/s11199-009-9714-5
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Jenloveshercurves promoted this comment Edited by UGAdawg at 11/22/09 10:10 PM UGAdawg was starred UGAdawg was unstarred

Cerridwen
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
Maybe I get annoyed with my significant other because I balk at the notion of traditional gender roles that dictate that women should take on the bulk of the domestic labour. Maybe I "nag" because, after working 40 hours a week when he only works half that, I want some time to myself to focus on things that are important to me. And those things do not include cleaning up my partner's messes and scrubbing out the toilet. Maybe I "nag" because I had a father who shared the housework 50/50 with my mother and never complained about it and never failed to clean up after himself and that was my male role model, so I expect that same level of work from my partner.

Or I could just not be feeling pretty enough.
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Nezrite
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
Weird, I thought I did it because the house is a fucking mess. *twirls her hair and hums "I Feel Pretty"*
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SwirlGirl
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
Ahhh, femininity--the reason I don't like Thanksgiving. Because under the yummy meal and gathering of friends and family, it's just...a gigantic day of chores. In my family, it's the day that traditional gender roles come screaming to the forefront--the men retire to watch football and the women wash endless piles of dishes and prepare the next courses. Years of pointing this out to my parents have had no effect. And nothing dampens holiday spirit like being up to your elbows in stuck-on turkey grease.
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prestocaro fears the culling
11/22/09

@SwirlGirl: See, this is why when I have kids and an extended family over which I am the matriarch, those not cooking will be doing dishes. It's just how the hubs and I operate now. Eff that cooking AND cleaning business -- it's one or the other.
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redqueenmeg
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
I don't ARTICULATE myself as the one who sees messes. HE DOES NOT SEE THEM.
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GreyCat
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
I really, really, really hate the word "nag." If I get on my husband to do something, I am a nag (he says) but if he gets on me to do something, it is because I didn't get it done and he's reminding me. I am lucky to have a husband who lived on his own for awhile and thus gained the ability to pick up after himself and cook his own meals. However, nag is a word similar to bitch or slut. It's negative and aimed only at females while the male equivalent is not quite as demonized.
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konstantinbothari
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
Weird. I put on a dress to feel more feminine, and I only yell at my husband when I want our relationship to have that special tinge of discomfort. Which is never.
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FroderickFronkensteen
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
Because nothing says "femininity" like yelling at your doofy husband about fabric softener. According to Sara Haskins, anyway.
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UGAdawg
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
Leave it to the Daily Fail to screw up the summary of her research. She actually interviewed 15 people from various age ranges. I checked the abstract just to get more info on the study and I didn't see the number 15K anywhere in the summary. I'm inclined to think that the quotes are also misleading. This wouldn't be the first time the Daily Mail got things screwed up in order to stir up a bit of controversy. I'll have to verify this when I get into work tomorrow. I have access to full publications there.
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sebluver
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
My mom is a female breadwinner (my dad works from home), and I think the real reason she nags us to pick up is because the lady already does so much at home. She works all day, makes dinner every night, does all the grocery shopping, cleans the house, and on and on and on. My dad helps with the laundry and does yard work. Maybe she complains about the housework because- gasp!- she's the only one who actually does housework?
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piratabeata
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
I don't know...in my lovely non-scientific, strictly empirical experience, my mother never nagged. She was the primary breadwinner in our house. My dad had a job that made it easy for him to stay home and raise my sister and me.

When we were really young, he called us the Clean Army, and with dad as our commander, my sister and I worked together to make sure the house was cleaned properly. When it came to cleaning the bathroom, my sis got the toilet and the bathtub, I did the sink and the floor, in the living room I dusted and she vacuumed, in the yard she mowed the lawn and I weeded/watered. He also made sure that the three of us worked together to have dinner on the table ready for mom when she got home from work.

I suspect I am very lucky to have been raised in a house where we were all expected to help. I don't feel it's any different now that I live with my boyfriend...in fact, my boyfriend has an ever higher standard of cleanliness than me (I've caught him scrubbing grout with a toothbrush, lol). Of course, my dad always joked that the only reason he had kids was for the free labor...
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pileofmonkeys
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
Well, they can just kiss the fattest part of my ass.

I hate the word "nag" so much, mainly because it's never used as the primary verb to describe how men speak to their wives.
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SidheDragon
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
Uhm no. I yell at the hubbs about the housework because I just got home after being gone from it for 10 hours during which he has had 1 class to study for and there isn't shit done but the dishes. I yell at the hubbs because I have a drawer full of ugly brown-ish socks because he doesn't get that you don't wash black socks with the whites. I yell at the hubbs because the floor under where he eats looks like the freakin cookie monster ate there and he's suddenly forgotten where the broom is. I yell at the hubbs because after finally finding the broom and using it he's forgotten where its kept.I gotta stop I'mma blow a gasket.
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MediasBlue promoted this comment Edited by SidheDragon at 11/22/09 5:25 PM SidheDragon was starred SidheDragon was unstarred

MediasBlue
11/22/09

@SidheDragon: I'll yell at yours if you yell at mine. Or maybe if we double-team them?
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SidheDragon
11/22/09

@MediasBlue: HA! I thought while writing that if he had walked up I'd have probably snapped!
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netfe
11/22/09

In reply to Study Claims That Women Yell At Men Over Housework In Order To "Feel More Feminine"
nothing make me feel girly and sassy like yelling at a spouce over not doing the dishes. also make me feel thin by the way.
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Maritsa promoted this comment Edited by netfe at 11/22/09 5:12 PM netfe was starred netfe was unstarred

Maritsa
11/22/09

@netfe: If it made your boobs bigger and gave you orgasms, I think we might have an answer to the gender wars here!
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Edited by Maritsa at 11/22/09 5:22 PM Maritsa was starred Maritsa was unstarred

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