Nobody Wants to Buy Victoria's Secret's Dumb 'Sexy' Sports Bras

Last year, Victoria's Secret announced a new frontier in tit innovation: sports bras that don't squish boobs down like other, shitty sports bras that actually serve the function they're designed to serve. The boobologists at VS were going to push sexy sports bras, for the woman who can't even for a second bear the… » 5/05/14 4:40pm 5/05/14 4:40pm

Weird-Ass Equinox Ads Do Not Make You Want to Go to the Gym

If you're not among the denizens of a smattering of major US cities (or Toronto), chances are you've been spared the confuzzling weirdness that are ads for Equinox gyms. Last year, they demanded to know if I was "skinny-fat," which is 100% not a thing, and now, they're implying that working out there can make you… » 1/14/14 3:05pm 1/14/14 3:05pm

Yoga Isn't 'For Ladies' and Weights Aren't 'For Men'

Women make up slightly less than half of the NFL's fanbase. They're going to college in larger numbers than men. They're the Senators grabbing the legislative branch by the collar and dragging the country away from fiscal precipice. And yet! it's still weird for us when we try to use the weight room at a new gym. When… » 10/24/13 11:04am 10/24/13 11:04am

Anatomy of the Perfect Workout Playlist

On Sunday, I'll be joining 45,000 other idiots in running the Chicago Marathon. In the months leading up to the Big Day, I've woken up early every Saturday to lace up my shoes, struggle into a sports bra and what can best be described as "running spanx", chug water and a few energy cubes, pop my headphones into my… » 10/11/13 1:50pm 10/11/13 1:50pm

In the U.K., It Gets Easier to Admit You're Never Going Back to the Gym

When I was in college, my best friend joined Bally's Total Fitness. After signing her life away for a plastic water bottle and the promise of a six pack, she quickly realized that she wasn't about to drag her ass across town to spend her mornings running to nowhere. She tried everything to get out of the… » 9/11/13 9:30am 9/11/13 9:30am

The Super Sad Post-Heartbreak Workout Is Not Actually Sad At All

One silver lining of getting your feelings stomped all over, is that post-heartbreak, people tend to be forgiving if you must cope by acting like a shithead for awhile. And while there are plenty of ways to act like a self-destructive mess in the wake of a traumatic life event — drinking excessively, crying… » 9/09/13 4:00pm 9/09/13 4:00pm

Fitness Apps Are Telling Everyone About How Bad You Suck at Sports

It sounds like a great idea with no downside— a virtual coach that a person inspired to be fit (sigh, fine: "FITSPIRED PERSON") can download onto their phone for very little cost that helps them keep track of workouts and progress over time. Everyone's healthy! Everyone's happy! Everyone's organized! Except, as one… » 9/03/13 6:40pm 9/03/13 6:40pm

Strong Is Not 'The New Skinny' Because Women Don't Need a 'New Skinny'

Today's New York Post profiles a 24-year-old ex-dancer who traded intense cardio workouts and self-deprivation for intense resistance workouts and weight lifting, gaining 20 lbs of pure muscle meat in the process. She's never felt better, she says. She's happy with her body and she feels totally awesome. STRONG IS THE… » 8/15/13 6:00pm 8/15/13 6:00pm

Stiletto Workouts: Finally, a Way to Get Skinny and Break Your Foot…

Here's a thing I won't be doing in 2013: Stiletto workouts, the technically-still-a-virgin-if- you-don't-count-in-the-butt cousin of the pole dancing workout. The minds behind the workout claim it's "empowering," which I suppose it kind of is, if you're the sort of person who is empowered by thongs with sassy sayings… » 12/28/12 4:50pm 12/28/12 4:50pm

Get Totally Ripped With Our Vice-Presidential Debate Workout Game For…

If you attempted to play our Presidential Debate Drinking Game for Ladies last week, you ended the 90-minute ordeal both sober and bewildered. Which is probably for the best — alcohol is bad for you and interferes with your ability to run sub-3 hour marathons or curl 25 pound dumbbells while wearing a jauntily… » 10/11/12 6:15pm 10/11/12 6:15pm

Should Women Run? You're Damn Right They Should.

I'm a runner who doesn't look like a runner. I am a six-foot-tall woman who has hips and broad shoulders. In fact, I look more like a basketball player or a swimmer. Yet I happen to be a pretty good runner. I regularly finish in the top 10 percent of local races, and I've even come close to winning a couple of 5Ks. I… » 9/28/12 5:30pm 9/28/12 5:30pm

No One's Going to Pay Your Medical Bills When Your Scammy Butt-Shoes…

Yesterday, a judge tentatively approved a $40 million settlement in a class action lawsuit against Skechers, the company responsible for Shape-Ups, the shoe responsible for shattering both dreams of perky asses and literal leg bones. But if people injured wearing the shoes were hoping that the shoe company would… » 8/14/12 6:00pm 8/14/12 6:00pm