• Dina Lohan is pissed that Michael Lohan keeps leaking recordings of Dina and Lindsay's phone calls to him. "The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable," she says. And:

"My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again, and he clearly blew that chance!" And: "I have had a criminal order of protection from the domestic violence sector since 2005. He was not supposed to even be harassing me by phone." Lastly, if you're still listening: "My heart is breaking for my children that he could do this. He has no visitation anymore and is six months behind in child support. The authorities have been alerted!" [E!]

• Hey, guess what? Michael Lohan has released another recording of a phone conversation between himself and Dina Lohan. She blames him for Lindsay cutting herself, and says: "It's bad." And Dina believes that "something's gonna happen" and it'll be all Michael's fault. [Radar Online]
• Rosie O'Donnell and Megan Fox are afraid of Angelina Jolie. Kristen Stewart says she doesn't want to be like Angelina Jolie. This column asks, Is Hollywood turning on Angelina Jolie? Eh, do you think she gives a shit? [MSNBC Scoop]
• This daytime noir Donnie Darko-esque promo for James Franco on General Hospital is kind of fucking awesome. "Anyone can die at anytime!" [NY Magazine]
• Miss J says of his 7-year-old son: "He insists on wearing nice shoes. I think somehow my fashion genes must have slipped in there." [Us Magazine]
• Kate Hudson is "pushing" A-Rod to elope. Because that's what women do! [Gatecrasher]
• Rihanna spent more than $50,000 to fly her family to New York from Barbados for the Glamour Awards. [Page Six]
• You can watch Rihanna's speech from the Glamour Woman of the Year Awards at the link. A snippet: "Maya Angelou, I love you, but you make this terribly difficult for me." [YouTube]
• LOL headline of the day, via Russell Brand: "Katy Can't Do Your Show… She's Doing Me Instead." [The Sun]
• Kristen Stewart on those who ask whether she and Rob are an item: "The only way that I'm able to stay sane is to protect myself, and like, I know that it doesn't matter how you answer a question, it's going to tip. Someone's going to say, 'She's totally with him,' or, 'No, I don't think she is,' so it's sort of like, I don't care. You just have to seriously be like, have it, have it all. Take my, you know what I mean, just like, you want my shoes? Here you go, what size do you wear?" [ET]
• The 40-year-old women following Zac Efron around were just trying to get his picture for their daughters. No, really. [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson made some comments about her adopted Rwandan son had been subjected to racism at the University of Exeter, and now the Culture Secretary has said: "Miss Thompson is a great actress, but her comments about Exeter… are insulting… Any incidence of racism is one too many, but Exeter comes top or near top in every survey of places for friendliness and quality of life." [Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone was at a fancy Madison Avenue salon and used a private room; Queen Noor of Jordan was also there to get her hair done, but sat in the main area with the plebes. [Page Six]
• The David Letterman blackmail case is "all out war." [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's funeral bills are in. Total cost: $855,730.31. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson, called here "the only Jackson who was flush with cash," fronted $49,000 for Michael Jackson's funeral. She'll be reimbursed via his estate, which will also pay the remaining balance. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson, who was trying to object to Michael Jackson's will and executors, has been shut down by a judge. [TMZ]
• An Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson sold for $812,000 in an auction last night. [NY Post]
• "Winona Ryder and Barry Pepper have been cast to star in the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story." It's the true story of the co-founder of Al-Anon and her alcoholic husband, who lived the high life in the 1920s but a downfall by the 50s. [Variety]
• Playgirl wanted to shoot Levi Johnston in the penthouse of a certain downtown hotel but didn't have enough cash to pay the fee. [Page Six]
• Dominique Swain, who once posed for PETA, has reportedly been "caught" dumping unvaccinated puppies at an animal shelter. [ONTD, Fox 411]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place is a desperate attempt to get people to care. Is it working on you? Then check out this clip from the show in which Heather — playing Amanda — says, "When I hired you to give this place a makeover, I didn't mean smear it with lipstick and turn it into a five-dollar hooker." [People]
• Celine Dion is adding a "pool complex" to her home in Jupiter Island, Florida — with "two giant pools, waterslides and a lazy river, much like an amusement park." One neighbor complains: "Distasteful is what it looks like - the whole thing sounds like a Michael Jackson fairyland to me." [MSNBC Scoop via Life & Style]
• Some dude is suing Bon Jovi, Time Warner and Major League Baseball for $400 billion, yeah, BILLION, dollars. He claims that he wrote an ode to the Boston Red Sox entitled, "(Man I Really) Love this Team." During the 2007 playoffs, Bon Jovi released a song, "I Love This Town," and the guy took the case to court. One judge dismissed it, but the guy is appealing. [Reuters]
• George Lopez's new late night talk show debuted with strong ratings. Did anyone watch? I found it only mildly funny, with too many race jokes. But I didn't watch the whole thing. [Reuters]
• Steven Tyler supposedly quit Aerosmith, but last night he showed up at an NYC club for Joe Perry's show, announced he wasn't leaving Aerosmith, and joined in on "Walk This Way." My friend Matt says: "If anyone can save the future of Aerosmith by settling the feud between Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, it's got to be Tyler Perry." [Roger Friedman's 411.com] 
• Shakira hugged and 11-year-old fan and it is news. [Page Six]
• Sir Ian McKellan mocked Jude Law at a charity event; Jude swore, "I go home religiously every night after Hamlet." Sir Ian joked, "I guess the night I saw you, you went home via [popular NYC nightclub] the Box." [La Dolce Musto]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have broken up. [People]
• "A rare collection of Beatles autographs and photographs, given to a 14-year-old who traipsed across Salisbury plain in the rain to catch a glimpse of her heroes on the set of Help!, sold for £2,200 at auction in Berkshire yesterday." [Guardian]
• Rod Stewart, father of seven, is trying to have another baby with wife Penny Lancaster. Forever young? [People]
• Whatshername will be on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here but arrive late and earn five times more cash than other contestants. [The Sun]
• "I think there's a lot of persuasive and powerful people around Obama. For a president to make his own decisions, I think that's a rarity. Even someone who we think of as our guy — this is a guy with integrity, a guy who cares, for the first time in a long time — in the Oval Office, even with him we don't really know who's pulling the strings. I think of every president as being a marionette. Whether he's any different, I don't know. Certainly his military advisers all want him to prosecute this war to the end, just as they did in Vietnam with LBJ. It's just too depressing, I think we're going to have to hit the streets. Obama has the chance of becoming JFK or LBJ. I think JFK was one of our last great presidents, although I thought Carter was pretty great too. LBJ could have been a great president if he hadn't gotten bogged down in war, but that was quite a war to get bogged down in. Notwithstanding the fact that the war was wrong and they were talking about the Red Scare and the domino effect, if you go and read the Pentagon Papers they were also talking about rubber, tin and oil. They killed two and a half million people. What was it all for? In Korea they killed four and a half million. Like, we're liberating these people?" — Woody Harrelson plays a soldier in his intense new film The Messenger and, at the link, has lots of thoughts about war, death, the military and President Obama. [Salon]
• "They got in trouble because my children are riding their dirt bikes through the whole trailer park, going crazy, doing flips — and everyone's concerned for their safety. And mom's like, 'Oh, they've been riding the whole weekend, they're having a blast!' I was like, 'They're not allowed to ride their dirt bikes in the trailer park!' They terrorize the neighborhood the whole time." — Pamela Anderson's sons — 13 and 11 — are tiny terrors. [Contact Music]
• "I don't have to play scenes with actors standing on buckets." — Sigourney Weaver, 6 feet tall, says that she doesn't believe her height has ever intimidated leading men. [Telegraph]
• "I had a great time with Hef and the girls when they came to see Peepshow and hang out in Vegas.  I don't watch the other episodes though, because it kind of makes me mad. The girls need to focus on what makes them unique and not doing the same things Bridget, Kendra and I have already done on the show.  Even camping in the backyard was an idea I had for an episode that we never got around to shooting.  And guess what they just showed? The girls camping in the backyard.  I don't want to look behind, I want to look forward." — Holly Madison is annoyed by the new Girls Next Door. [Fox 411]
• "I don't know that [Oprah] and Gayle are necessarily doing each other, but I think they are the emotional equivalent of.. [a gay couple]. When they did that road trip, that's as gay as it gets, and I don't mean it to be an insult, either. I'm just saying, listen, if you ask me, that's the couple." — Rosie O'Donnell. [ONTD via Times Of The Internet]
• "These jeans are a few days old, but the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can't stand the air around me. I don't know, my personal hygiene - it's so disgusting! Really it's just that I have very few clothes that I like and I'm travelling all the time, so I can't really get any more." — we get it, Robert Pattinson, you're filthy. [MSNBC via New! magazine]
• "I love clothes, and fashion is a great art form. Being a woman and my femininity are very important to me. But with my work I have to check my preferences at the door and personify the character I am playing as best I can. Your character isn't who you are. That's the great thing about my job. I get to step into somebody else's shoes – whether that's a pair of flat brogues or some stilettos." — Hilary Swank. [Daily Mail]
• "I'd love to have kids… But I'm much to young to get married." — Shakira. [Gatecrasher]
• "The funny thing is that I was very open and honest about [my bisexuality] from the very beginning, and everyone was acting like it was some new trend. Go back four or five years, people, and you'll see the same answer. I've been very honest with him from the get-go. I think women are beautiful. I've had a lot of fun with women, and I'm not ashamed of it. The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man. But just because I enjoy women doesn't mean I'm allowed to have affairs in my relationship. I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it's with girls, so there is a rule there." — Fergie. [Us Magazine via The Advocate, Page Six]
• "Lady Gaga stole your act." — President Obama to Cyndi Lauper. [La Dolce Musto]

• Michael Jackson's autopsy will be performed today. [TMZ]

• Michael Jackson's brother Jermaine said that a team of doctors tried to resuscitate Michael for an hour. [TMZ]
• This report claims that Michael Jackson had been given an injection of Demerol before he collapsed. "Shortly after taking the Demerol, he started to experience slow, shallow breathing. His breathing gradually got slower and slower until it stopped," a source says. [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson died $500 million in debt. [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's kids are "very upset" but "fine," whatever that means. [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson has reportedly left The Beatles catalog to Paul McCartney. [Spinner]
• Elton John was in the middle of his annual White Tie and Tiara Ball when he found out about Michael Jackson's death, and dedicated "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me" to him. [TMZ]
• Lou Ferrigno had been working as Michael Jackson's trainer for the upcoming tour, and Ferrigno's wife says: "he's in total shock ... he thought he was going to be training Michael tomorrow." [TMZ]
• Liz Taylor is "too devastated" to comment. [E!]
• "The saddest aspect to this tragedy is that so many watched it happen and few did anything to stop it. I pray that Michael's death will not be in vain and that we see a return, even among Hollywood celebrities to the spiritual and family values that are life sustaining."  Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who worked with Michael Jackson on a charity called Heal The Kids. [Extra]
• Madonna had planned to make surprise appearances at Michael Jackson's 50-date shows in London. [Daily Express]
• "I can't stop crying over the sad news. I have always admired Michael Jackson. The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever! My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless."  Madonna. [People]
• "I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news. For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words. Divinity brought our souls together on The Wiz and allowed us to do what we were able to throughout the '80s. To this day, the music we created together on Off The Wall, Thriller and Bad is played in every corner of the world and the reason for that is because he had it all…talent, grace, professionalism and dedication. He was the consummate entertainer and his contributions and legacy will be felt upon the world forever. I've lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him."  Quincy Jones. [ET]
• "We have lost a genius and a true ambassador of not only Pop music but of all music. He has been an inspiration to multiple generations, and I will always cherish the moments I shared with him on stage and all of the things I learned about music from him and the time we spent together. My heart goes out to his family and loved ones."  Justin Timberlake. [People, TMZ]
• "I am so very sad and confused with every emotion possible. I am heartbroken for his children, who I know were everything to him, and for his family. This is such a massive loss on so many levels, words fail me."  Lisa Marie Presley. [People, Extra]
• Priscilla Presley says: "I'm in shock, as I know everyone must be." [Extra]
• "When we worked together on 'Bad,' I was in awe of his absolute mastery of movement on the one hand, and of the music on the other. Every step he took was absolutely precise and fluid at the same time. It was like watching quicksilver in motion."  director Martin Scorcese. "Dazed in the studio. A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ."  John Mayer. Many more quotes from stars at the link. [AP]
• Twitter tributes here, including quotes from Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, Mariah Carey and Kim Kardashian, who had her 14th birthday party at Neverland Ranch and had known Michael Jackson her entire life. [Mirror]
• More quotes from stars here, including Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jaime Foxx and Dionne Warwick. [NY Post]
• "Just as there will never be another Fred Astaire or Chuck Berry or Elvis Presley, there will never be anyone comparable to Michael Jackson. His talent, his wonderment and his mystery make him legend."  Steven Spielberg. [EW]
• "I was so excited to see his show in London. We were going to be on tour in Europe at the same time and I was going to fly in to see him. He has been an inspiration throughout my entire life and I'm devastated he's gone!"  Britney Spears. [E!]
• Will Justin Timberlake step in and do concerts in London to replace some of MJ's O2 gigs? [The Sun]
• Yesterday, a bus full of tourists were driving by Michael Jackson's house to see his front gate  instead they saw paramedics rushing away from the scene. [TMZ]
• Heavy volume  caused by people searching for information about Michael Jackson's death  caused the internet to slow down yesterday. [BBC News]
• Tippi Hedren will take Michael Jackson's tigers. [Extra]
• Somehow this paper has a shot of the paramedics' monitor, which reads: "50 year old male  not breathing at all." Michael Jackson's mom Katherine and his close friend Elizabeth Taylor were among those who rushed to the hospital. [The Sun]
• Flavor Flav showed up to the Jackson family estate and sent regards to Katherine Jackson via intercom, because he was not let in. [TMZ]
• Bands at the Glastonbury Festival this weekend will pay tribute to Michael Jackson  playing covers and talking about the star in their sets. [BBC News]
• Sacha Baron Cohen makes lots of jokes about Michael Jackson (and LaToya) in Brüno. Will the scenes be cut? [The Daily Beast]
• The LaToya/Michael scene was cut for a screening of Brüno last night  but will it be deleted in the film when it hits theaters nationwide? [PopCrunch]
• Online sales of Michael Jackson's hits are soaring. [CBS News]
• Farrah Fawcett died yesterday with longtime love Ryan O'Neal at her side. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown think "it's ridiculous" that they have to stay 50 yards away from each other, since they are "becoming friends." [Gatecrasher]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have checked out of an Ohio hospital with their new twins. Though security at the hospital was tight, a source said "even the nurses" were trying to get a glimpse of the babies. [People]
• Contrary to rumors, Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford are not dead. [NY Daily News]
• Despite the divorce developments, Christian publisher Zondervan is still planning on releasing a book by Kate Gosselin titled Love is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories. [USA Today]
• "Kate Gosselin Of Jon & Kate Singing The Blues - In Hot Blue Bikini; Jon Gone, She Shows Off Bod." [NY Daily News]
• Um, Woody Harrelson and Zoe Kravitz hang out? [Page Six]
• Chloe Sevigny wore that "Free The Beatrice" shirt in part because her brother owned the club. [Page Six]
• Rod Stewart was seen rubbing Penny Lancaster's tummy, so clearly she could be expecting a child. [Daily Express]
• Was Men At Work's '80s hit "Down Under" plagiarized from a 1934 children's song? [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which rocker is back on drugs? Although she claims to be clean, when she checked out of a Manhattan hotel recently, the maid found the room littered with dirty needles. [Page Six]
• "I was raised in a very grounded family that came from the South, and I was never much of a party girl. I'm a very low-key person so I like to stay at home and bake, or just walk around the city. I'm addicted to cooking. So I haven't felt tempted [to be a party girl] but if I were to I would think of the obligation I have to the young girls that look up to our show. I feel like there isn't too many great young role models in our business."  Blake Lively. [Independent]
• "Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, and in particular, thank you for giving your aggressive, emotional comments. A blog is meant to get people worked up, and obviously mine is working. Let me clear up a few things..."  Bethenny Frankel is still blogging. [E!]
• "I think it's normal for people to ask my views on motherhood, especially someone my age, because it seems the obvious thing: 'Why haven't you done it yet?' Those questions don't bother me. I force things into shape. I feel fulfilled and loved, and I get to nurture the people in my life. If having children is something that's going to happen in my life, I welcome it. If it doesn't happen, then it wasn't meant to be. I don't declare either way that I will or I won't."  Cameron Diaz. [Daily Mail]
• "Jack Kennedy was one of the handsomest men I have ever laid eyes on. No picture does him justice. I totally regret not having had an affair with him. Who wouldn't? It wasn't up to me, of course."  Oscar-nominated writer-director Nora Ephron, to More. [Page Six]
• "I didn't set out to shock people. I set out to do something different from Potter. If I had wanted to shock people I would have played, you know, a gay drug dealer"  Daniel Radcliffe in Parade on his nude scene in Equus. [Page Six]
• "We thought we'd see him moonwalk one more time."  Reverend Al Sharpton [NY Daily News]

• You may want to just give up on life: Kristin Cavallari is getting $63,000 per episode to "play" a "villain" on The Hills. [PopCrunch]

• A hotel employee on Madonna's backup dancers: "Horrible." "Notoriously difficult… rude… presumptuous and cheap." [Page Six]
• Breaking: Uncle Jesse John Stamos is "conceptualizing" a Full House feature film! The Tanners' triumphant return! [Gatecrasher]
• David Carradine's death is still a mystery  he was found in a sitting position, but with a yellow rope attached to a closet bar around his neck. "We believe that Mr. David committed suicide but it is suspicious," says a police official in Bangkok. [People]
• Further details show that David Carradine may have died "from "auto-erotic accident." [Yahoo News via AFP]
• David Carradine will be seen on his Tuesday's episode of Mental. [E!]
• "Britney Jean Spears was not born into a stable home. She was born into a dysfunctional disordered one because of her father's alcoholic rages… She was on Prozac at 18… Britney was prescribed Prozac but she treated it like headache tablets, taking a pill only on the days she awoke depressed. This seemed to make her more manic…" [Mirror]
• While Britney's in London, she'd like to drop in on the Queen. [Mirror]
• Susan Boyle is out of the hospital and already has an offer to perform for Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher  for £30,000. Also, the portrayal of her as a crazy cat lady persists, since this paper claims she left the clinic because "she could no longer bear to be parted from her family, friends and beloved cat Pebbles." [Daily Mail]
• Krist Novoselic, former bassist for Nirvana, is running for clerk of Wahkiakum County in western Washington. Apparently he is running under the "Grange Party" banner, even though the Grange isn't a political party; it's a protest of the state's system that lets candidates say what party they prefer when running for office. [USA Today]
• The Slumdog kids are in Hong Kong today, where they will sing and dance (?) at a charity event. [AP]
• Lance Armstrong Tweeted in the voice of his new baby boy, writing: "Wassup, world? My name is Max Armstrong and I just arrived. My Mommy is healthy and so am I!" [E!]
• The woman who claims she was assaulted by Sacha Baron Cohen while he was filming Bruno says her injuries are "life-altering," as she suffered brain bleeds and sometimes requires assistance walking. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez was "really nervous" before working on her new flick, the Back-Up Plan, because, she says, "What if I forgot how to act?" Or! What if you were never really good at it in the first place??? [National Enquirer]
• Jay-Z will release his Blueprint 3 album on Sept. 11. Interesting choice of date. [Billboard]
• Living on St. Lucia has had an affect on Amy Winehouse's sound and she is recording with "local musicians" who play traditional island instruments. Sounds… awesome? Whatever, just release some new music! [The Sun]
• Kelly Bensimon  seen here in a rather see-through dress  says of Real Housewives: "I think it was not exactly me just because I was incredibly guarded. I was a nervous wreck! Like after the show, Jill said to me, 'You're such a nice person, why weren't you like that on the show?' I felt badly too because I didn't get to see the real me." So you were being fake then? Interesting. Oh, she also says: "On Planet Kelly, everything is happy, the grass is really green, people are really really nice .... There's, like, fun everywhere and there's excitement and new opportunities all around. It's a really great place - you should come!" [NY Mag]
• Amanda Seyfried's latest film, Letters To Julliet, starts shooting soon, but her leading man hasn't been cast yet. Who would you like to see Amanda fall in love with? [Telegraph]
• Wait! Gael Garcia Bernal has signed on to star with Amanda Seyfried in Letters To Juliet. [Variety]
• Sienna Miller and some other celebs wrote a letter to Nobu restaurant in London which reads: "We feel strongly that blue fin tuna must be completely removed from your menu as it is an extremely endangered animal." [The Sun]
• Other celebs protesting the use of blue fin tuna: Woody Harrelson, Elle Macpherson, Sting, Trudie Styler, Charlize Theron, Stuart Townsend and Alicia Silverstone. [Page Six]
• "Agency Feeding Frenzy Over Ice Cube." The actor/rapper, not the unit of frozen water. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Kate Beckinsale was supposed to play Barbarella in the remake? But lost out to Rose McGowan? Hmm. We'd always heard it was Rose. [Daily Express]
• This review of a recent Mandy Moore show claims that she was "strangely tentative onstage" until the last song, a "rootsy" cover of her pop hit, "Candy," which she "seemed to enjoy more than anything else in the set." [NY Times]
• Shannen Doherty is selling her Malibu home, which has interesting contemporary architecture and a pretty nice pool. Also dig the exposed beams in the living room. [CasaSugar]
• In other 90210 news, Jason Priestley will direct and online series called The Lake. [Reuters]
• Is Jennie Garth a Twihard? She makes husband Peter Facinelli dress up as his Dr. Cullen character all the time, he claims: "She says, 'Put the doctor's coat on!' I'm like, 'Again?'" [Gatecrasher]
• M.I.A. has a record label called N.E.E.T. and this track, "Bang!" is from Rye Rye, the first artist signed. Just the thing to get jumpstarted on a sleepy Friday. [ConcreteLoop]
• "Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal planned to wed in Germany this spring but organisers couldn't arrange the big day in time." [Daily Express]
• Gene Simmons passed a kidney stone and promptly sold it on eBay  for charity. Charming! [Mirror]
• "Boris Becker goes wedding dress shopping with his fiancée Lilly Kerssenberg." She is awfully pretty. Together they certainly cut a figure. [Daily Mail]
• Phil Spector's 28-year-old wife denies she is a gold digger: "I don't take anything from my husband, and I never have. I'm a good person, but people don't see any of that or know how hard I work. I can weed whack. Rip out walls. Lay tile." Also, her pantsuit is 10 years old. "I've had this since high school." She does, however, wear a 9-carat diamond she and 69-year-old Spector "designed together." And now that he is in jail, she always has her hot pink BlackBerry with her: "I never know when he is going to be allowed to call. Whenever he calls, I answer." [LA Times]
• RIP Shih Kien, who played Bruce Lee's enemy in 1973's Enter the Dragon. [AP]
• "Being married is like being on a game show and you're always in the lightning round. I have a podium in my living room, and in the morning I hit the clicker button: 'I'll take Movies That I Think We Saw Together for 200.' The woman is always the returning champion from last week: 'I'll take Details of a 10-Minute Conversation We Had at 3 in the Morning Eight Years Ago...' "  Jerry Seinfeld. [E!]
• "I still can't believe we have a president who is mixed like me. It's one thing that we have a black president but for me it's even crazier because he's mixed. I feel like I come from a smaller off shoot of black people because I am mixed. People say I'm African American but that doesn't include the other half of me. I can't believe I'm living in a time where I feel proud of my president where I feel like things are actually positive and people feel good about where our country can be."  Maya Rudolph. [Women & Hollywood]
• "[Nurse Jackie] is physically low maintenance  that was a huge appeal. Very much like I am. I didn't want to spend a lot of time in makeup. On Sopranos, the nails, the hair, the makeup and the jewelry was very not who I am. It was fun, but after eight years I was ready to try something else."  Edie Falco. [Reuters]
• "All directors compare themselves to Orson Welles, who did his masterpiece at 26. So when you start and you're nearly 40, you're like, 'Oh god, I'm so behind.'"  Michel Gondry. [Independent]
• "I have a pretty amazing personality, and I'm pretty intelligent. Don't just write me off as a pinup"  Megan Fox to Elle. [Page Six]
• "A very smart person told me once what other people think of me is none of my business. ... I do not Google myself. I know that's only going to end badly."  Edie Falco. [Reuters]
• "We do not hang out."  Jill Zarin on the Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't know why that's either untapped or overlooked or not done well because there is really no excuse for it. This is a perfect example of it [being well done]. It's not as if women don't exist. I will say that in general there is a lot of crap in the world. It wasn't until I was thrown in the water on day 1 of Saturday Night Live where they said you write for yourself. That's what everyone does. I learned the enormous power of writing for yourself, especially now that people seem to be receptive to the fact that women can write."  Maya Rudolph, who stars in Away We Go, on why women are sometimes underwritten or ignored in Hollywood films. [Women & Hollywood]
• "I can't think of anything more horrible than sharing what I'm doing all day"  Renée Zellweger to Glamour on why she won't use Twitter. [Page Six]

•  A recent study has found that alcohol has no effect on one's ability to judge age, which is bad news for anyone who wants to claim being drunk as an excuse for sleeping with a minor. Also: alcohol had a "significant impact" on making older faces with a lot of makeup appear more attractive to participants. • A North Carolina State University design team is working on making new, less revealing, and hopefully more comfortable, hospital gowns. • New research suggests that there may be a link between perfectionism and binge eating. • Ever wondered what a pro-abortion diet would look like? World of Wonder has the answer. • Today's New York Times profiles Allannah Thomas, who works with a nonprofit group to help low-income women achieve their full potential through math classes. • Meet Jennifer Fearing, the "rising star" of California's animal rights movement. Despite her fear of birds, Fearing has worked to improve the lives of farm raised chickens across the state. •  Police in Tracy, CA have received dozens of calls from people who simply cannot believe that Melissa Huckaby, as a woman, was capable of raping and murdering someone else's daughter. • Click here to watch a strange and disjointed time-lapse video that explains how babies are really made. • Is Katie Price (more commonly known as Jordan) a feminist icon? We're going with no, but the Times makes an interesting case for the famous glamor model. • More than 20 polo horses died this Sunday in Wellington, Florida. 15 of the horses died instantly, while the rest lingered for almost an hour. Experts are still searching for the cause of death. •

• Eminem reportedly asked Amy Winehouse to do a Stan-like duet on his upcoming album, Relapse, but Amy declined, as she "didn't feel it was the right thing to do at the present time." [The Sun]

• "Eminem has followed Amy's career closely. They have both had drug addiction issues and he empathises with her and hoped to feature her on Relapse," says a source, "His idea was to make a track as magical as Stan. But unfortunately Amy declined. He understands that recently she hasn't been in a state to focus on music because of her tumultuous private life but he hopes they will get together on a future project." I wonder what Amy thought of Em's new video? [TheSun]
• Kathy Griffin says she's backing off her Lindsay Lohan jokes, now that the starlet is having a rough time: "It feels like kicking her when she's down," Griffin says, "Believe it or not, I might kind of take her out for the time being. That's a little hard to find the comedy in." [USWeekly]
• Ann Kelly, the woman accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen, denies having anything to do with The Boss. "My client absolutely denies having an affair with Bruce Springsteen," her attorney says, "These are baseless allegations of a jealous man. And that's all there is to it." [People]
• "You can be bi but not gay. Well, you can be gay and funny, like Ellen [DeGeneres] and Rosie [O'Donnell]. It's really hard to be straight-up gay and serious. We're still not over that."- Michelle Rodriguez
• High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale has split with her boyfriend. [USWeekly]
• Does Samantha Ronsonalready have a new girlfriend? [ONTD]
• ''I wrapped a movie called `Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie.''-Woody Harrelson [NYTimes]
• Aww, the rumors are true: Carey Hart and Pink were seen arm and arm, all smiles. [TheSun]
• Former Mighty Morphin Power Rangers star Skylar Deleon has been sentenced to death for murdering an Arizona couple in 2004. (The description of the murder is upsetting, so be warned.) [USWeekly]
• Blind Item: "This actress is known for her comedy chops, primarily playing the ditzy blonde role (even though she's decidedly brunette). We were sad to hear from a former employee of hers that she is in fact a raving witch in real life. She once threw an omelet (yes, the kind with eggs) at her maid, who was terrified and spoke very little English. Yikes. It's not Sarah Silverman." [Blind Gossip]
• "Is Lindsay Lohan tweeting about being cheated on?????????? ahahahaha NO I don't feel bad! I can't stop laughing! omg ahahahahahahahahah"- Shanna Moakler's Twitter. [ONTD]
• "I actually think going to university will make me a better actress. The experience of living like that, working to deadlines, living with other students. It's all the things I want. There are actresses who don't know about things like doing their own laundry and getting a bus. I'm not going to be like that."- Emma Watson
• Ugh: the Nadya Suleman reality show might still happen. But will anybody watch it? [EW]
• Nicole Kidman says she's planning on dressing up as the Easter Bunny this weekend for her daughter, Sunday Rose, who apparently enjoyed the bright lights of Vegas: "Sunday Rose loved Vegas," Kidman says, "There were a lot of lights there and it was very sparkly, so she loved looking at them and when we were driving along she was gazing out of the window. Vegas is obviously a good spot for a baby." My 3 year old nephew loves dinosaurs! Jurassic Park is obviously a good spot for a baby. [ShowbizSpy]
• Believe it or not, there's going to be another sequel to The Fast and the Furious. What should this one be called? Suggestions welcome in the comments. [E!]

• The Malawi Human Rights Commission is stepping in to help Madonna appeal her adoption case. Sources say three-year-old Mercy James "understands what's going on" and has been asking, "Where is Mummy? Where is Lola?" [People]

• Nadya Suleman says she may apply for welfare. "If I need to apply for [the Women, Infants and Children program] to provide my babies with formula, then I'm going to," she said. [Whittier Daily News]
• Woody Harrelson attacked a TMZ photographer again at the airport. Along with the video TMZ posted this description: "Our photog says Woody smashed the camera to the ground, breaking it. Harrelson then picked the camera up and began walking away with it. The photog followed Woody, claiming he was assaulted and demanded that Woody return the camera. That's when Harrelson attacked again, striking the photog repeatedly and grabbing his neck. Our cameraman shot the action with his flip cam." [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson broke up with Owen Wilson again. A source says, "Owen wants to get married and he proposed to Kate soon after they got back together. But she's not ready." [Perez Hilton]
• The National Enquirer claims that Billy Joel's wife, Katie Lee, is cheating on him with Yigal Azrouel, a handsome 36-year-old Israeli-born fashion designer. [National Enquirer]
• Rihanna visited a six-year-old fan who has leukemia in the hospital. [People]
• Oprah Winfrey has teamed up with the FBI about to warn people that scammers are sending people emails saying they have been nominated to appear on an episode of Oprah and possibly win $1 million. All they have to do is click a link to buy plane tickets to Chicago from the sender. [People]
• Paul McCartney's website was hacked, but it's fixed now. [The Daily Express]
• Unlike ex-wife Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's girlfriend of one year, Nancy Shevell, is popular with his kids. [People]
• Jennifer Lopez won a cybersquatting case against a man who registered two websites that used her name to make a profit. The man had to turn the domain names over to the Jennifer Lopez Foundation. [Reuters]
• One room in Jennifer Lopez's home is devoted entirely to wigs. "Jennifer keeps the door locked and hardly ever lets anyone in the room, not even Marc," says a source. "The shelves on the walls are full of plastic heads holding the best hairpieces money can buy." [Star]
• Jade Goody's dying wish was to have a wax statue made of her at Madame Tussauds so that her boys could still see her. The museum says they are considering it and sources say they are considering a figure that talks and moves, saying Goody's most famous sayings such as: "Rio de Janeiro, ain't that a person?" and, "Where's East Angular though?" [The Daily Mail]
• Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr said, "Yeah, one day down the line, of course I'd love to be a mum - it's definitely something I'd like to do," which is a big deal because she's dating Orlando Bloom. [The Daily Mail]
• Real Housewives of New York City star Countess LuAnn de Lesseps said she and her husband were separated for three months when he sent her an email saying he was seeing someone else and it was serious. "I was devastated," she says. "I knew that we were kind of separating, but I was hoping that things were going to work out." [People]
• Heidi Klum's 64-year-old father, Gunther, is in a German hospital recovering from a stroke. [The Sun]
• The falconer who supplied the owls for the Harry Potter movies plead guilty to 17 charges of causing unnecessary suffering to his 42 birds and 11 chickens. He was accused of keeping the animals in "filthy, squalid abandon." [The Sun]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were in a just in a fender bender in L.A. We know this because Mariah Twittered: "so this is why I don't drive,or get up early. Just got into a little car accident in la..but we're all ok. Neither of us were driving." [TMZ]
• David Caruso is being sued by a woman who says he fathered her two children and promised to love her forever. But he broke up with her when their second child was born and she says he owes her the $1 million he promised her. [TMZ]
• Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis Stewart, is suing her accountant because she says he calculated her taxes incorrectly and she had to pay $900,000 in back taxes and a $110,000 fine after an IRS audit. [NY Post]
• Kim Kardashian has big dreams for her career. "I would like die to be in Twilight," says Kim, "being around all those hot guys. I want to be a vampire." She adds, "I would love to be a Bond girl, that would be my dream of life." [People]
• An Australian woman stalking American Idol reject Diana DeGarmo is being held without bail until a hearing in May. [Yahoo]
• Bad news on Dollhouse. Joss Whedon says that FOX is only airing episode 12 and episode 13, the season finale, will only be available on DVD. [NY Magazine]
• James Gandolfini has asked a judge to ban camera from the courtroom when he testifies against a man he's accused of choking and punching in an airport. The fight started when the man greeted Gandolfini with his Tony Soprano impression. [Daily Express]
• Is Gabrielle Union pregnant with Dwayne Wade's baby or not? [ONTD]
• Spencer Pratt uploaded a picture to his Twitter, but when people pointed out there was a bong in the background he took it down. [Perez Hilton]
• Russell Brand is back on UK radio. He had to resign from BBC Radio 2 a few months ago after he left obscene messages on the answering machine of actor Andrew Sachs as part of his show. [Independent]
• Katie Holmes will read the story of a veteran during this year's National Memorial Day Concert in D.C. [E!]
• Miley Cyrus says her 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston has brought her closer to God. "I've never been closer to the Lord since I met him," said Cyrus. "He's really made me read my Bible. He's made me actually read the stories in the Bible  not the quick little verses  that not only help me, but show you how to help other people." [Us]
• Miley Cyrus told Tyra Banks that she's cool with invading her boyfriend's privacy. "I go through their text [messages]," she tells Tyra. "I see if they're nice to their mom, because if they're mean to their mom they're going to be mean to me." Cyrus adds, "It's so much better than going through their phone and stuff because they always know." [People]
• Benjamin McKenzie reveals in this lengthy interview that he watches 30 Rock and Mad Men and he still keeps in touch with the Cohen family from The O.C., but not the ladies of the show. He says: "Adam Brody and I live not too far from each other and I see him quite a bit. Peter Gallagher and I stay in touch. Kelly Rowan and I stay in touch. Josh Schwartz every once in awhile. That's about it." [Just Jared]
• Chris Isaak talked to Yusuf, the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens, and this is what he had to say: "The way in which I kind of unplugged and walked away was abrupt, and it needn't have been that way," said Yusuf "And perhaps that was because of my naiveté. I was always a little bit naïve. I thought people would understand that when I'd written a song called 'On The Road To Find Out,' that if I happened to one day find something out, they might expect, 'Well, he might disappear then.'" [The Huffington Post]
• If you missed last night's South Park, you should watch this video about Kanye West's legendary love of "fish sticks." [Perez Hilton]
• Here's Kanye West's response to the episode: "SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME!" [ONTD]

• Following Chris Brown's arrest for making criminal threats (possibly to Rihanna), his commercials for Doublemint gum have been pulled from the air. He's also hired a lawyer known for some very high profile cases.

• Brown hired attorney Mark Geragos, best known for defending convicted murderer Scott Peterson, Winona Ryder after her 2001 shoplifting arrest, and Michael Jackson during his child molestation trial. Wrigley's gum has issued a statement saying they are "concerned by the serious allegations made against Chris Brown" and are suspending their ads until the charges are cleared. [People, Extra]
• Rihanna's rep issued a statement saying, "Rihanna is well. Thank you for concern and support." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Tameka Raymond, Usher's wife, is now in stable condition after suffering complications during "routine" surgery in Brazil, according to her rep. [People]
• Travis Barker says he left the hospital too soon after surviving a fatal LearJet crash. "I kind of rushed out of the hospital and my hand was numb, but I didn't tell anybody," he said. "I just wanted to get out." He has now had surgery to repair the nerve damage and will be in recovery for another 8 to 10 weeks. [Extra]
• An insider claims that the reason Kate Hudson is trapped in romantic comedy hell is that she doesn't pick her own projects. Decisions are made by her team of agents managers, and boyfriends-du-jour. "They choose what they think is best for her, "says the source. "They've made a lot of wrong decisions." [E!]
• Also, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson: back on. Does that mean he gets a say in her career again? [People]
• Over the weekend Peaches Geldof announced her divorce from Max Drummey. Now sources reveal that she has been dating the Virgins frontman Donald Cumming for weeks and "couldn't care less about Max." [The Daily Mail]
• Is this video of Michael Cera flipping out on the set of his new movie real, or an homage to Christian Bale? Either way, there is something deeply unsettling about seeing George Michael act like such a brat. [Perez Hilton]
• The lawyer in Jodie Sweetin's custody case ordered drug tests for Sweetin and her estranged husband. Both are drug free. [People]
• Apparently Katy Perry's family provided some not-so-flattering childhood photos of her to CBS. In retaliation, she posted an unflattering picture of her red-haired sister on her blog, writing, "Wow. look at that tender mess. We're sorry all the gingers are going extinct. We salute you for you braveness of being a ginge." [The Daily Express]
• Denise Richards says of being a contestant on the new season of Dancing With The Stars, "All I hope is that I don't embarrass my girls!" It may be a little late for that. [People]
• Medical professionals were shocked by Oprah's endorsement of Suzanne Somers' theories on horomone replacement therapy on a recent show. Says one doctor: "Oprah is the most influential woman in the world, and I don't think she comprehends the amount of damage she has done to women's health. I came away feeling like Oprah really didn't understand the issue. Personally, I feel like she has set us back 100 years." [Newsweek]
• Two months after his arrest for drunk driving, Charles Barkley has finally admitted that he was wrong, saying, "It was stupid, and it was 100 percent my fault.'' [TMZ]
• Halle Berry says of Gabriel Aubry, her boyfriend and father of her daughter Nahla, "I feel more married now than I did in any of my actual marriages. We live the truth of that and that's more important than a piece of paper." [People]
• Woody Harrelson says making a film about the work of U.S. army casualty notification officers has given him more respect and compassion for soldiers. "I've been an outspoken peace activist for good reason. But what was missing from my own philosophy was a real understanding of what these soldiers go through," said Harrelson. [Reuters]
• Steve Harvey's relationship advice book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment has been out for less than two weeks, but has already sold more than half of its initial print run. [The Wall Street Journal]
• Miss Piggy on why she'd never enter politics: "I've considered politics, but frankly I think they've already got way too many divas. And besides, when you're a celebrity of moi's magnitude, anything worth doing is worth having someone else do for you." [Publisher's Weekly]
• Hollywood screenwriters are itching to make a movie about Sarah Palin's clan! Milk writer Dustin Lance Black says he would like to write about Palin because he's "interested in great characters." But The Visitor writer Todd McCarty, says he would focus any movie he makes on the teenager who impregnated Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol, saying, "there's a dark comedy there somewhere." [The Daily Express]
• "My grandmother is basically blind, but she can make out the lighter parts, like my skin and hair. She says, "I can see you, because you have no pants on." So I'll continue to wear no pants so that my grandma can see me." - Lady GaGa [Perez Hilton]

This morning on The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck was all bent out of shape about Phelps' bong hit, giving the tired spiel about how he's a role model and he's setting a bad example, blah blah blah. She went on to claim that since he's willing to use illegal drugs to have a good time, maybe he's open to using illegal drugs to advance his career, as though weed is a gateway drug to steroids or something. Whoopi shot her down pretty quickly, and admitted to enjoying pot.

Elisabeth's argument hinged on the fact that Phelps accepts money to endorse products. One of those is Rosetta Stone, the language-learning software, which is just about one of the most sedentary activities a stoner could enjoy, aside from watching The Wizard of Oz on mute while playing The Dark Side of the Moon. (I should know, since I've been using the program to learn Spanish.) His other sponsors, like Omega and Speedo, totally don't give a shit.

And they shouldn't, because it's silly — in my opinion, anyway — to pass judgment on those who take part in something as innocuous as pot smoking, which many believe is lot less harmful for one's body than alcohol. Besides, despite the fact that it's technically illegal, so many people smoke weed recreationally that it's not all that taboo. Here's a list of celebrities who have either been caught smoking marijuana, or admit willingly to doing so.

Woody Harrelson



Woody is an activist for the legalization of marijuana and hemp.

Willie Nelson



So is Willie Nelson.

Frances McDormand



Frances McDormand was on the cover of High Times in May 2003, in which she said, "I'm a recreational pot-smoker. There has never been enough of a distinction between marijuana and other drugs. It's a human rights issue, a censorship issue, and a choice issue."

Seth Rogen & James Franco



The pair stared in Pineapple Express together, and shared this maybe real/maybe fake joint on stage while presenting an award during the MTV Movie Awards last summer.

Cameron Diaz & Drew Barrymore



Also friends who share.

Justin Timberlake



Timberlake, who used to date Diaz, has been very open about how he smokes weed, sometimes even with is mother. He also admitted that he was stoned out of his mind when he was Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher.

Kimora Lee Simmons



Kimora Lee Simmons took one of the stoniest mugshots after she was arrested in 2004 for possession.

Nicole Richie



Nicole admitted to having smoked pot, as well as taking a Vicodin, when she was arrested for a DUI charge in 2007.

Paris Hilton



Nicole's buddy Paris' reefer madness has been well documented.

Michelle Phillips



Former singer from The Mamas & The Papas said as recently as 2001 that, "Marijuana should definitely be legalized. I think we should let everyone smoke it without fear of being thrown in jail. It's the greatest drug in the world!"

Snoop Dogg



Duh.

Redman



We'll be here all day if we start listing rappers.

Lil Wayne



But we'll mention Wayne for good measure.

Mariah Carey



Mariah is such a goody-two-shoes that she'd never publicly admit to marijuana use, but on her most recent album, she made plenty of weed references.

Charlize Theron



Academy Award winners like their weed, too.

AARP



In the summer of 2005, the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) hosted a smoke-in to promote the legalization of marijuana. Celebrities that participated: Willie Nelson, Woody Harrelson (obvs), Bette Midler, Santana, Chicago, David Crosby and Graham Nash, Rod Stewart, The New Jefferson Starship, Tony Orlando, Ringo Starr, Tommy Chong, Snoop Dogg, and Robert Downey Jr.

Matthew McConaughey



When McConaughey gets loose, he does so with bongos.

Dionne Warwick



Her work with Burt Bacharach was way too mellow to not be under the influence.

Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown



They've got "Something in Common."

Sarah Silverman



Sarah speaks favorably about weed in her act, and smoked with Doug Benson in his movie Super High Me.

Doug Benson



Comedian Doug Benson has centered much of his career around pot.

Oliver Stone



He has the perfect name for someone who's been busted for pot on numerous occasions.

Dawn Wells



Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island was arrested last year for possession.

Dave Chappelle

The Pointer Sisters



Oliver Hudson tells a story about his first concert-going experience, during which the Pointer Sisters were getting blazed.

Paul Dinello



It's hard to watch this Strangers With Candy clip about smoking pot without thinking that writer/actor Paul Dinello believes what he is saying.

Barbra Streisand



In a 1972 Rolling Stone interview, Babs said, "I'd take out a joint and light it. First, just faking it. Then I started lighting live joints, passing them around to the band, you know. I was great, it relieved all my tensions. And I ended up with the greatest supply of grass ever. Other acts up and down the Strip heard about what I was doing - Little Anthony and the Imperials, people like that - and started sending me the best dope in the world. I never ran out."

Phelps Backed by Sponsors After Marijuana Photo [TCPalm]
Elisabeth Hasselbeck disses Michael Phelps; Whoopi Goldberg: 'I have smoked weed' [EW]

• 18-year-old Bristol Palin and her baby daddy, Levi Johnston, have sold pictures of their newborn baby boy Tripp to People for an estimated $300,000. That's a lot of moose burgers! [MSNBC]

• Of course, this is not as much as a Jolie-Pitt tot, but probably way more than than the average baby born to teen parents, and an Oxy-head grandma, in a small town in the great state of Alaska could ever earn. [MSNBC]
• Woody Harrelson wed his longtime girlfriend Laura Louie — mother to his three daughters — on Sunday, after two decades together, finally making it legal. He was too busy up until now trying to do the same for pot. [People]
• A Roc-A-Fella records documentary about the demise of former friends Jay-Z and Damon Dash's business partnership is in the works by former BET producer and Roc employee Choke No Joke. Apparently a lot of it had to do with Dash's signing of Ol' Dirty Bastard and his proposal of Cam'ron as a vice president of the label. According to Joke, "Jay wasn't feeling none of that [bleep]." [Page Six]
• Mia Farrow's first daughter, Lark Previn, whom she adopted from Vietnam with her then-husband, musician Andre Previn, died on Christmas Day. Lark was only 35, and although the cause of her illness was not released, she's said to have been sick for a decade. She had two daughters, who are 12 and 13. [NY Daily News]
• Eliza Dushku and Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane were an item but she dumped him for, get this, Brent Bolthouse, Heidi Montag's fake boss on The Hills. [Page Six]
• Michael Lohan has called a temporary truce between himself and his daughter's girlfriend Samantha Ronson, posting this on his blog, asking people not to post comments about it on other blogs: "I respectfully ask that all sources, so called friends and mouthpieces refrain from any more comments or suggestions on her blog." [Perez HIlton]
• Tom Brady may sit the 2009 season out, which means he'll get to spend more time with fiancé Giselle. [TMZ]
• Is singer Jason Mraz totally high in this interview? And if so, on what? [ONTD]
• Eurythmics star Dave Stewart has designed £1,000 vibrator "made of solid steel with a satin finish and a band of 28 diamonds—but bizarrely has a guitar pick attached and the lyrics from Stewart’s latest solo song, 'Let’s Do It Again,' scrawled on it." He obviously doesn't think the recession will affect the price of orgasms for his two or three fans who would even consider buying this. [The Sun]
• Brody Jenner's new show Bromance, about dudes who cry because they want to hang out with him, premiered last night. These are the first two guys to go home, which we're not sure makes them slightly better than the rest, or way lamer. [ONTD]
• Apparently Mariah Carey annoyed the scientific community because she didn't understand math well enough to name her album E=MC², which came out in April. The scientific community should be more annoyed that it took them over six months to realize that Mariah Carey wasn't a math whiz. [MSNBC]
• Nick Cannon was seen out, sans Mimi, drinking a virgin daiquiri instead of booze. Maybe he's not allowed to drink because she's not allowed to drink because maybe she's pregs? [E!]
• In more awesome pussy-drink news you can't use: Dane Cook and Wilmer Valderrama were drinking diet Gatorade together on Christmas Day. [E!]
• LudaCrismas is a real thing that involves rapper Ludacris, and not just what the holiday office party is called on 30 Rock. [E!]
• A sequel to American Pie that isn't straight to video and features the original cast? Yes, please! Anything for more Tara Reid and Natasha Lyonne red carpet moments! [Moviehole]
• Madonna pisses another $2.6 million on "charity" aka Kabbalah. [Fox News]
• USA Today has released it's 2008 Celebrity Heat Index. Britney Spears is number one and her sister Jamie Lynn joins her in the top 10. [USA Today]
• Oh boy. Brit wants to go to Iraq to entertain the troops. Too bad this probably means she wants to sing and not talk about time travel. [Showbiz Spy]
• Johnny Depp to guest star on Little Britain USA? Computer says yes. [The Sun]
• Donald Trump is all pissed off that CNBC's Rebecca Jarvis' on-air promo bio for the network doesn't mention the fact that she was a fourth season contestant on The Apprentice. He actually wrote to her about it, he was worked up over it. [Page Six]
• Barbra Streisand said that she loves couches now because she didn't have one growing up, since her family didn't have a living room, and there were like six people living in a two bedroom apartment. Somethings never change in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. [People]
• Prince's sister Tyka Nelson has released a gospel album. The press release for it billed her as "only full-sister of 'Rock Legend' Prince." [Star Tribune]
• “Look seans an old friend of mine and i didnt buy his performance at all—thought he did an average pretend acting like he was gay besides hes one of the most homophobic people i kno [sic]" - Wrestler star Mickey Rourke being a bitch about Oscar nominations and trashing "old friend" Sean Penn in an intercepted text message. [The Daily Beast]
• "I’d like to put my tongue through her hair and lick every part of her head for the rest of her life. It would probably be appalling to her, but not to me." - Somewhat self-aware David Gest, talking about Texas singer Sharleen Spiteri, whom he's never met (lucky for her and her hair). [The Sun]
• "I’m wearing a fat suit! It’s suffocating. Unfortunately, we live our life in public, so any weight gain or pimple is a national story. I don’t get this obsessions with weight. It’s not only Hollywood; it’s our society.” - Eva Longoria [Parker? Is she still adding that?] in her interview for February's Glamour, for which she graces the cover. (More pics here.) [Just Jared]
• "I never expected that kind of thing, to be honest. I think that comes with my age, the whole sex-symbol thing. I'll grow out of that. It's a phase. And people want to turn you into merchandise in some way, don't they?" - Scarlett Johansson wants to be taken seriously as an actress, dammit! [Showbiz Spy]

• Cops believe that the robbers are also responsible for burglaries at the upscale homes of "Paramount Pictures chief Sherry Lansing and her Oscar-winning director husband, William Friedkin, Clippers basketball star Cuttino Mobley, Duran Duran guitarist John Taylor and his wife, Juicy Couture President Gela Nash-Taylor, and country music stars Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. [LAT]
• And now, here is a stoner soliloquy from the Bard, Woody Harrelson: "A new day, trembling with potential / I am the potentiate, and my life is equal to the task of living of loving, of moving my love"that's my name for Laura, "my love""Yesterday I wallowed in me-hood, following a well-worn path / Today, I jump from bridges, dance on tiny windowsills high above the ubiquitous crowd of unsuspecting faces / Combative. Angry. Hostile. Those were the bedrock of this body's previous tenant and now I, nameless, unnameable, ergo mysterious, incorrigible, march to the musical manifestations, the bass and harp of distant angels, calling me with their many magnificent mouths: Dance, creature! Put down your pen, lift up your limbs, and dance to greet another golden morning." [Esquire]
• Fergie and Josh Duhamel will wed in January! Apparently Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson will be in attendance. Let's hope Fergie pees before she gets strapped into her gown! [Popdirt]
• Here's a list of Mark Ronson's 99 favorite bands. Now I don't have to be embarrassed about loving Ben Folds anymore, because he's Ronson-approved! [ Guardian]
• Sarah Jessica Parker has spoken to Sex and the City costar Jennifer Hudson, and Parker says, "The little bit that I would share is just that I think she's surviving. I don't know how a person navigates anything like this. And I think nobody is prepared for something like this. But she is incredibly strong. She is a woman of faith. And I think she is figuring out. I can't imagine what it must be like for her." [Daily Express]
• If you want to remember Britney in happier, pre-fame days, check out this cutie audition she did as a wee one. [this cutie audition tape]
• Dustin Hoffman asked for the theater he donated money to build at Santa Monica College to name a bathroom after him. His wish was granted! Who doesn't want to pee in Dustin Hoffman's room? [EW]
• There's a rumor going around that Pete Doherty destroyed one of his arteries through too much intravenous drug use. At least there were no kittens involved this time. [Dlisted]
• If you were looking for more insight into Tara Reid's recent entrance into rehab, try this: "She becomes erratic and is a completely different person when she's intoxicated, which is hard for people close to her to watch." Maybe it would also be good for her if those people close to her stopped talking to celebrity rags? Just sayin'. [People]
• Billie Jean is just a girl who says…she wants £668 million from Michael Jackson. "Billie Jean Jackson alleges she is the mother of the singer's son Prince Michael Jackson II, nicknamed Blanket. The woman demands £668 million in support payment, as well as joint legal and physical custody of the six-year-old." Doesn't sound like a fake nuisance lawsuit at all, no sir. [ Daily Express]
• Now that Debra Winger has returned to the silver screen with critical fave Rachel Getting Married, she's answering questions about the Rosanna Arquette documentary Searching For Debra Winger. “I told her she didn’t need my permission because my name is public domain," the notoriously salty star says. "I understand that it was a lovely film but I decided that I wouldn’t see it so that I wouldn’t have to comment on it. It was deeply embarrassing because after I had spent eight years seeking some amount of obscurity, in one fell swoop she obliterated that possibility by putting my name in the title.” [Telegraph]
• Tracy Pollan, the actress best known for being married to Michael J. Fox, will star in a Lifetime movie about Natalie Holloway. She'll play Natalie's mom, Beth Twitty, in The Natalee Holloway Story. The movie is based on the real life Beth Twitty's book Loving Natalee: A Mother's Testament of Hope and Faith, which in our opinion is a much better Lifetime movie name. [ PR Wire]

• Everyone's favorite human being, Tim Gunn, likes Dunkin' Donuts (Grace Mirabella turned him onto it.) And he can't afford to buy an apartment in New York, either! (Stars! They're just like us!) [Time Out New York]
• Simon Doonan, the woman's champion, bemoans that there's "a lot of conformity, a lot of blonde hair ... I often wonder if feminism was just a dream. I can't believe how women feel so scrutinised, and they're still so self-critical - I thought they would have let go of that now but they haven't. There's a very masochistic thing with women now that I didn't used to see. My girl friends in the punk era weren't like that at all." [Guardian]
• How's the fashion set responding to the economic crisis? "Everyone's freaking out. Everyone." [WSJ]
• AOL pulls the plug on Glass-House dwellers Joan and Melissa Rivers' Emmy coverage because of repeated humorous references to the Third Reich, corpulence. [P6]

• Prada denies it's trolling for an investor in Dubai; says it's still going public. The economy says otherwise! [WWD]
• Tom Ford's bringing in the whole Mad Men design team to work on his directorial debut. Which we would totally do, if you changed "directorial debut" to "our apartment." [E!]
• Not shockingly, Woody Harrelson is a big advocate for hemp. [Guardian]
• Of her unisex clown-in-the-asylum collection for H&M, Rei Kawakubo declares, “The collection is constructed around Comme des Garçons’ style. Rather than aiming to make clothes that no one has ever seen before, it is very much Comme des Garçons to its roots. My priority has always been creativity, which was not the least bit compromised with this collection. That was the last thing H&M wanted us to do. Otherwise they wouldn’t have asked us.” [BlackBook]
• Munichers at Oktoberfest are furious - furious! - at the poor quality of cheap, Chinese-made lederhosen. [Business Week]
• Hoping to avoid a similar fate, Scottish kiltmakers hold a summit to protect their industry. [UPI]
• Our greatest minds have come up with Kix by Katie, "a stick-on, lightweight, supportive strip which is applied to the inside back hemline of pants. This useful innovative invention adds just a bit of extra weight to your pants, making them hang down nicely." Thus is eliminated the heel-wedgie, the apparent bane of many a high-heeled dame. [InventorSpot]
• Nike's in trouble. [WSJ]
• PETA harasses Armani customers because he went back on his word about not using fur. No one makes a fool of PETA! They do that themselves! [Daily Express]
• Gillian Anderson, for one, is furious with him. [FirstPost]
• He responds by releasing a chocolate. "Available at Armani/Dolci stores this week through the end of October, the dark chocolate praline sweets are enclosed in a thin coating of white chocolate, conjuring “a tiny ethereal ghost,” the company said." [WWD]
• We apparently don't feel nearly self-conscious enough about our rapidly-aging hands. [NYT]
• Did Anthropolgie rip off their whimsical wall design? [Slog]
• British film on Hijab fashion rubs some the wrong way. [Muslim Media Watch]
• Aw, no one wants Elton John's really expensive brooch! A casualty of the economy? [The Star]
• Some Milan designers apparently in deep economic denial, all about "optimism!" [VogueUK]

[Miami, April 7. Images via Bauer-Griffin]

[Malibu, June 13. Image via x17]

And yes, that is Woody Harrelson.
People Magazine Names 'Bachelor Of The Year' [People]