1. -To speak clearly and confidently. I know so, so very many young women--both among my peer group and those who are younger--who cringe when they speak. I know young women I always have to ask to repeat themselves because they talk in such tiny little voices, like they're afraid someone will want to stop them from speaking up. And then there's the ever-present "oh, I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry" and "sorry!", where girls and young women feel compelled to apologize for shit that THEY DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR.

I think clear written communications would fall under the scope of this too. Make sure you have a point to be made, and then make it. Use correct spelling and grammar and punctuation. Be clear, concise, and mindful of your audience. A text message to your best friend, for instance, could be one long cuss in lolcat; a thank-you letter to your grandmother should probably be written with more clarity and poise (unless your grandmother loves lolcat.)

2. Common-sense things for home and office. No, I'm not talking about Suzy Homemaker 101--just regular stuff that makes life easier, more comfortable, or more affordable. You should know how to sew a button on. You should know how to, I dunno, at least boil pasta. Even if you don't have an official set-in-stone budget, you should have some general sense of your personal finances. You should be able to store food properly, clean/treat a minor cut or burn, sweep/mop/ otherwise clean a floor, and take care of a good pair of shoes. These are just examples. They're not 50's-housewife things, nor are they exclusive to women. Everyone should know how to do this stuff.

3. General respect for other people, their belongings, their personal space, comfort, and safety. No, this doesn't mean you have to be smarmy and learn how to curtsey and arrange 18 pieces of silverware. This should just mean that you have a general idea how to behave as a guest, how to behave as a host, how to greet people, how to behave in a board meeting, how to remain polite and appear calm in various tense situations, how to thank others for kind deeds and politely decline events/items that don't work for you, etc.

No, it's not rocket science, and no, you don't have to be nice to everybody all the time. There's a time and a place for being extra-assertive. It's just that if you know how to say please and thank you, and if you know how to consider the comfort and sanity of those around you, life tends to be more smooth and pleasant.

Knowing how to be confident, competent, and considerate is not a skill that's specifically taught in school--most people sort of have to half-ass it as they go along. It goes way beyond dessert forks and makeup tricks.

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If you want your children to learn how to behave in public, set a good example for them to follow and quietly nudge them in the right direction when you see they might need it.

My brother and I always knew "a child's place" (if you see a bunch of adults gathered, keep quiet or go play, preferably the latter) but as we got older it was much easier for us to be integrated into formal events, etc. because our parents showed us how to act.

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For example. When the old man in the Town Car came thisclose to running me over while I was on my bike today, I said 'You are an an asshole, SIR.'.

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Wife camp by Lambda? I guess we wanna be ready when gay marriage is legalized so all the femme gayelles know that their proper place is in the kitchen in pearls.

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Also, as a past waitress and someone who also eats out a lot, both for business and with friends, I have to say, a lot of people really need to learn how to eat in a restaurant. I can't tell you how many times people would grab knives out of my hands because they wanted it for their next course, when of course I would be bringing a fish knife for their sole.

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/end 2 cents

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