• A group of eight female teens in Minnesota were charged on Monday with spitting at and groping the elderly residents at the nursing home where they worked at part time. • A new study claims that women's marital satisfaction increases as they get older and when their children leave home. • Guna Harangen, Norway's oldest woman, died on November 25. She was 109. • A former Swedish businessman is currently on trial in the UK for allegedly molesting a female passenger while she had an "orgy dream" during a transatlantic flight last year.• Two young men in Texas were sentenced to up to seven years in prison today for videotaping and coaxing a toddler to smoke pot. • Eleven Chinese girls died of carbon monoxide poisoning on Monday after they lit a fire in school to keep warm. • In a recent survey, Girl Guides, the English version of the Girl Scouts, said they want to clamp down on peer pressure to have sex and end airbrushing of models in fashion magazines. • BabyCenter.com is now offering text message alerts to let women know when they are ovulating. • On Friday, police in Naples, Florida stopped a 12-year-old girl from allegedly committing suicide while on a webcam website.• Heart attacks are both the No. 1 killers of men and women, but heart attacks and symptoms of an attack can look different to each sex. • A group of mothers, who were enjoying a night on the town with their daughters, were barred entry to a bar in Leeds, England because they were over the age of 35. • Eighty local men from Barre, Massachusetts posed nude for a calendar to raise funds for the Woods Memorial Library. • A new study says that almost 1 in 5 young American adults have a personality disorder that interferes with everyday life. • A new study in England has found that women from poorer areas are more likely to be diagnosed with cervical cancer than women from wealthier regions. •

[Image via Getty Images.]

• An amusement park in South Korea schooled 30 female and male wannabe-Santas today on what it takes to be Santa Claus. • An Illinois woman who recently finalized her divorce claims that her ex-husband and his girlfriend broke into her house over the weekend and stole half of her king-sized bed as well as some electronics. • Captain Kate Philp of the British Army became the first female soldier to lose a limb in Afghanistan when she lost half of her leg following a blast that killed another soldier. • A report on Tuesday of a fetus in a trash bin behind the Gulfcoast Ultrasound Institute in Florida turned out to be a training tool for doctors and nurses to perform ultrasound procedures. • Nancy Kerrigan will star in an ice skating TV special, Holiday Celebration on Ice, which will air on Sunday on NBC. •

[Image via Planned Parenthood of Greater Orlando.]

"It starts when you feel that first unmistakable twinge that something is totally wrong. It continues through the rough days of sorrow and deep cramps, and then it meanders through every single day of the rest of your whole stupid life. I will probably mourn about this miscarriage in some outwardly unremarkable way until I either have a healthy baby or die," Moss bravely admits.

Mom blogger Dooce linked to another mom blog called Flotsam, where a woman named Alexa talks about the baby she had who died at 22 weeks. "If McCain had his so-called 'culture of life,' and if my condition had progressed just a bit earlier, I would at least have lost my uterus, and I might very well be dead. All this in the interest of a baby who could not possibly have lived, because while an extremely few 23-weekers do survive, a by-then-severely-infected 23-weeker would certainly not. 'Culture of life,' indeed," Alexa rages.

"I can tell you that I want people to know. I don’t want it to be a secret or a shadow or something that is endured only alone," Moss writes, "I want people to know that I have been through something, that I am tired but optimistic, that I’ve been knocked down but don’t help me up because I can get up myself." And these stories are precisely the brutal and vivid things we need to hear so that people like John McCain will never dismiss the idea of women's heath with soulless air quotes ever again.

[Image via Ulla Pugaard, NYT]

A Planet of Pain, Where No Words Are Quite Right [NY Times]
Why Any Woman Who Intends To Vote McCain Should Reconsider [Dooce]
More Wounded Than Eloquent, I'm Afraid [Flotsam]

Earlier: Memo To Senator McCain: My Health Is Not An Extreme Position

What the hell? Pair this with the news from Live Science that women are more likely than men to suffer from bad teeth , and you've gotta wonder: Why do women have so much to worry about, health-wise?

I remember going to the drugstore recently and it seemed that all of the items I dumped at the register magnified something that was "wrong" with me: My conditioner was specially made for "dry" and "damaged" hair; my deodorant was "extra" strength; I had not lotion but "intensive body moisture" with "healing" properties; the toothpaste I needed was fortified with "whitening" ingredients for my yellowed teeth and even my tampons were "ultra" absorbent for my tsunami-like menstrual flow.

As for the dirty hands, the UK study doesn't offer much explanation as to why women's were filthier than men's. (One commenter posits: "They have longer nails, that's why.") But the bad teeth can be blamed on hormonal and dietary changes related to higher pregnancy rates. "Women eat more frequently during pregnancy because of having a smaller stomach," says anthropologist John Lukacs. Also, women may produce less saliva during pregnancy. It's an "acid challenge for teeth." Either way: Don't we already have enough to worry about? Excuse me while I go find my waterless hand sanitizer.

Why (Some) Women Don't Scrub Up As Well As Men [Independent]
Why Women Have Bad Teeth [Live Science]

• Holy underminer, Batman! Whitney Port on her clothing line: "I'm developing a clothing line. It won't be like Lauren's stuff, which I loved. Mine will be a little more high-end." [Radar]
• "Fashion Victims: The Catty Catalogue of Stylish Casualties From A to Z" by Michael Roberts, fashion director of Vanity Fair, sounds like it will be fascinating to the fashionistas he skewers and completely stultifying to everyone else. "Roberts has written a poem for each letter of the alphabet, for instance P for "photographer": "Why am I so fabulous? What makes me truly great? What would life be without me? It's hard to contemplate . . . No billboards straddling city streets with body parts gigantic/Nor me with glass in premiere class crisscrossing the Atlantic." The accompanying illustration is a caricature of Mario Testino. " Sounds like a gas. [NY Post]
• Early estimates place the price of Cindy McCain's RNC outfit at $300,000. Well, in fairness $280,000 goes towards her three-karat diamond earrings. [US News]

• We love how thoughtfully celebrities consider the challenges of starting a small business! Jamie-Lynn Sigler on her new jewelry line: “We just started beading these gold bracelets with all different types of gold one day and started playing with different charms, and we thought, Hey, let’s do it,” [NY Mag]
• Word on the street is that Cole Mahr, the dude who wore a dress in the Marc Jacobs print ads, will be doing it again on the runway. Does this bode well for Isis?! [Fashionista]
• Lancome adds Dominican model Arlenis Sosa to its "stable." Says Lancome's prez, “Arlenis possesses beauty, intelligence, charm and compassion...All of our brand ambassadors share these attributes, so we knew she would be a wonderful addition. We are very proud to welcome her to the Lancôme family.” [WWD]
• You'll be relieved to know that Fashion Week is civic-minded. A fashion week press release tells us, "In the spirit of the election season and theme at this year’s Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, unique, fashion inspired election slogan pins will be given out in small quantities each day. Fashionistas can vote for their favorite slogan at www.votembfashionweek.com."
• "Furrier to the stars" Dennis Basso owes the IRS. "The baritone-voiced minkmeister is singing the blues now that the feds have imposed a $200,000 lien on his swanky Central Park West apartment, according to public records." Basso says it's all a misunderstanding because his "accountant's mother had a heart attack." [NY Post]
• ANTM judge and "top fashion photographer" Nigel Barker and his wife are having a baby girl. "We found out it’s going to be a little girl," Barker, 36, told Us Thursday at the Saks Fifth Avenue Ruby Slippers Collection party in NYC. "We’re going to look at her, and when we see her, we’re going to come up with a name." They already have a 2-year-old son. [US Weekly]
• Men's Heath EIC and titanic douche David Zinczenko is psyched about the new Women's Health. Quoth he, "We've pulled into the passing lane, and we're poised to surpass a lot of women's magazines now. We can see Glamour just up ahead. There are a lot of opportunities for Women's Health because of the size of the market." [WWD]
• We wouldn't normally think much of the fact that AOL is relaunching its style and beauty site, StyleList.com, except that they've tapped Carmindy as their beauty expert, and we love What Not to Wear. [WWD]
• A Saks Fifth Avenue employee has been charged with $680K in theft. [NY Post]
• Wait, has Rachel Bilson been on any worst-dressed lists? “I think it’s cool to be on the worst-dressed list,” she says. “If people aren’t accepting, that’s OK. Bring it on, I don’t care!” [People]
• Fern Mallis basically runs Fashion Week. Here's why she's psyched: "First of all, September shows always feel like school is starting. This particular season there's different kind of buzz in the air, especially with the elections. We are all wondering how the outcome will affect our industry, especially with two first ladies who wear clothes particularly well." [Huffington Post]
• Behold fall's least flattering fashion trend: the pegged trouser. "They usually have two front pleats at the waistband that are designed to add volume in the hip area, then balloon out in the thigh before tapering in again at the ankle. They can also be cropped on the ankle and high-waisted. Admittedly, they sound alarm bells for most of us - extra volume around the thighs is always a hard sell." Thanks a lot, YSL! [The Guardian]
• Speaking of the 90s: LA Gear is back, baby! In what The Cut describes as the requisite "in Saved by the Bell shapes and neon colors." [The Cut]
• Italian designer Mila Schon has died at 92. [Reuters]
• Kate Betts, Joel Stein and Isaac Mizrahi will all be blogging fashion week for Style & Design. Says Betts, "I wanted to offer readers the same kind of inside, up-to-the-minute, offbeat look at fashion week as opposed to straightforward reviews...Joel and Isaac, I hope, will add a lot of humor." [WWD]
• Model Lily Cole is leaving modeling to pursue acting, was inspired by Heath Ledger. But more to the point, she's starting Cambridge, where she'll be studying history! Says the 20-year-old, "modelling can get a little lonely sometimes, especially when you are travelling on your own. That's what I'm looking forward to about going to university to meet lots of new people." [Telegraph]
• Not profiting by Lily Cole's example, former internet phenom/partygirl and wannabe-Lezark Cory Kennedy has been signed to One Model Management. [Fashionista]
• Domino really understands the needs of its readers; they've done the important work of making a "fashion week survival guide." "The survival guide includes recommendations from designers, editors and fashion insiders, including Francisco Costa, Bloomingdale's fashion director Stephanie Solomon, Simon Doonan, Anya Hindmarch, Vera Wang, Lela Rose and Peter Som. Musings include recommendations on what to do for an hour in between shows — Humberto Leon, from Opening Ceremony, suggested Wu Lim Qi Gong Master Massage." [WWD]
• Raise your hand if you want the new KISS Vans! Wait...no one? "To celebrate that fateful day in 1978 when all four members of the band released solo albums, the skatewear brand (and main sponsor of the Warped Tour) is releasing the Vans x Kiss Sk8-Hi commemorative T-shirt and shoe pack sometime in the "late fall" of this year." [AdAge]
• As previously reported, designer Heather Thomson has tapped New York's pool of exotic dancing talent for her upcoming lingerie show. "She held a competition of dancers who perform gymnastics-like routines on brass poles at some of Manhattan's poshest strip clubs and picked eight to model her Yummie Tummie Shapewear." [Reuters]
• The Rag&Bone designers are refreshingly enthusiastic! "We are big fans of Radiohead. Actually, seeing them perform at Glastonbury head-to-toe in Rag & Bone would be pretty magic." [Fashion Week Daily]
• In addition to a ludicrous rock-themed fashion mag and a fashion-themed rock concert, Fashion Rocks sponsors a charity auction. "Among the items up for auction: A leather jacket autographed by Keith Urban and seats at Kimora Lee Simmons and Diane Von Furstenberg's coveted runway shows." [People]
• We love Daphne Guinness largely because of her connection to the Mitfords, but on any terms her upcoming shoot for Vogue Italia sounds rad! [Fashionista]

In the companion piece on fibroids, Linda Villarosa writes, "Though most of us will suffer from fibroids at some time in our lives, relatively little is known about them." And it seems that little is known about them because many doctors don't take women and their medical problems seriously. According to an article from CNN in May, one of the biggest problems in the medical care of women is that they don't question doctors. Dr. Christiane Northrup, the author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom told CNN. "Even very well-educated women freeze up and don't speak up"

And sometimes, even when women speak up, doctors don't treat their concerns with the gravity they deserve. I've been dealing with this myself lately. I've been having my period every two weeks, and I went to the doctor to get it checked out. She found my physical to be shipshape, but sent me to get a sonogram on Friday afternoon to make sure everything was ok. The radiologist looked at my sonogram and told me I had a condition. When I inquired about the condition, he brushed me off. "You have to talk about that with your gynecologist." I asked him several different questions, trying to ascertain anything, even a brief notion of what this condition might mean for me, and all he did was scoff, "Well it's not cancer," though worst case scenario it could cause fertility issues, as if that should quell any lingering upset I might have. To compound matters, my gyno is now on vacation, and no one in her practice will look at my chart because I'm not pregnant. (They only answer emergencies for pregnant women, apparently.)

So now I'm just waiting to hear about what I have and what it might mean. But let Lacewell's strong and well-informed story be a lesson to you: don't dismiss or be embarrassed by your own medical worries because you're intimidated by a doctor. Just remember ladies, it's uterUS, not uterYOU.

Farewell To My Uterus [The Root]
The Fibroid Sisterhood [The Root]
5 Mistakes Women Make At The Doctor's Office [CNN]

Related: Pros And Cons Of The Pill Tricky For Black Women [Reuters]

The ad, which was elaborately designed and executed, arrived to one Jezebel's home via direct mail, which is one way tobacco companies are forced to reach people, now that they no longer advertise in women's magazines. The vibe is upscale, luxe, exclusive, pretty — words you could use to describe say, Vogue or the lifestyle portrayed on Sex and the City. (And Camel is not the only brand that makes "designer" smokes.) But a pack of cigarettes is not a Prada dress or Blahnik shoe. Or is it? Is there something inherently chic about smoking, even today? Teenagers often start smoking because it "looks cool" and then find themselves with a habit that's hard to break. And though some of us think that smoking and advertising have nothing to do with each other, the fact remains that a deadly product is glamorized. Wouldn't we all give pause if we saw a gun or a disease-loaded syringe treated the same way?

(Click to enlarge)

Earlier: Sex And The City-Inspired Cigarette Ads Die Early Death
Lawmakers Get Pissy About Cigarette Ads In Women's Mags

Related: Puff Daddies: Designer Cigarettes [Glam.com]

• Yay, heart-warming story! The International Breast Milk Project ships breast milk, or liquid gold, to Africa, where nine-thousand bottles is enough to feed six babies for a year. Being that lil' Suri Cruise was weaned on a Hubbard-approved cocktail of barley water and corn syrup, we sure hope Katie didn't let her milk dry up and go to waste. [ABC News]
  
• Capitol Hill finally takes notice that postpartum depression is more than just a few tears; Congress has authorized $3 million in federal funds for research. Brooke Shields, Britney Spears, and Andrea Yates all respond, "No shit!" and "That's it?!" [ABC News]
  
• A woman dug up and stole her dead boyfriend's ashes after his family banned her from the funeral. Aww, that's kind of sweet! [CNN]

• Kim Cunningham admits to killing her brother-in-law when she found out he had repeatedly raped her 9-year old daughter. She was acquitted of murder by two juries and though some say the ruling is condoning vigilante justice, we say, "You know what? Fuck that, good for her. Where's the parade?" [ABC News]
• A burqa-wearing bandit robbed a bank in North Carolina, leaving the police scratching their heads as to whether the perp was a man or a woman. Umm, we see some pretty groomed brows in the photo so our vote is a woman... or gay drag queen. [ABC News]
• Breast cancer patients find that friends, family, and even strangers offer loads of unsolicited advice and wisdom in an effort to be supportive, most of which is totally crappy. "Pshaw, chemo is no big deal!" is not the best way to tell someone you're there for them, okay? [MSNBC]
• Shocker. State by state, the US sucks at caring for women's health, with Vermont being the best and Mississippi being the worst. As for who else failed miserably? Washington D.C., home of our nation's capital. Betcha the First Lady gets the best Pap smear in district! [MSNBC]
• Heavy sigh. A top political strategist estimates that Republican women will, in the end, vote for Hilary Clinton because they want a female president. We're not sure if that's true, we'd take Clinton over any Republican any day of the week, but why is that people don't understand voting for any woman is not a feminist statement? [AP]

According to a study reported in The Independent, people often behave in ways that are out of character while asleep. Dr. Simon Williams of the University of Warwick divides sleepers into eight categories: Socially attentive, intolerant, selfish, anarchic, snoozers, nappers, feigners and deviants. The socially attentive are easily roused; intolerant and selfish sleepers make their sleep a priority over their significant others', and can be snorers and sleepwalkers as well. Snoozers are the kind of people who can sleep on a train without missing their stop; nappers are gaining acceptance; feigners pretend to be asleep (WTF?) and deviants include people who make unconscious nighttime trips to the refrigerator. The study adds, "Murders have been committed by people while asleep." On someone who was snoring, perhaps?

It's kind of upsetting that psychologist Wendy Troxel finds that only men benefit from settling down, saying, "My research shows that married men are much happier and healthier than unmarried men. The findings are much less consistent with women." But the most annoying part about all these studies is that they seem to agree on one thing: Women are usually lighter sleepers, possibly because, as researchers suggest, they "historically have been the ones caring for infants." So, even though we don't have any kids, when our neighbor comes home wasted and stumbles up the stairs, we have no choice but to lie there and listen. Yawn.

Men Sleep Best Beside Mate; Women Sleep Worse [MSNBC]
Disturbed Sleep Linked To Poorer Daytime Function In Older Women [Science Daily]
You Are How You Sleep: What 40 Winks Can Reveal About You (Or Your Partner) [The Independent]