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posts about #womenshouldntsayiloveyoufirst more → 
Saying "I Love You" Isn't A Competition
New York, 5:04 PM
Sun Nov 8
25 posts in the last 24 hours
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Saying "I Love You" Isn't A Competition |
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12/27/08
12/27/08
12/27/08
And I know what you mean about "dying to say it." In the past when the time was right, it just didn't feel like much of a choice. I couldn't keep it inside!
12/26/08
i can promise you, snark was alive and well on the internet years beore gawker reared its cynical head. my first experience of snark and it's ozark cousin flame wars was on aol around 1994. i'm sure there were snarkfests on arpanet and dialup bulletin boards. gawker is a mere child.
12/28/08
12/26/08
and men are afraid of all these things? It's NOT TRUE. Just isn't!
12/26/08
12/26/08
If say, one of you thinks it's a one night stand and the other is picking baby names, you're going to have a problem. Gender notwithstanding.
12/26/08
Dear is a petname.
Deer is an animal.
Deers get stuck in headlights.
Thank you, that is all.
12/26/08
But. My husband has, on more than one occasion, been a dear in the headlights. Just sayin'.
(PS Check out Ms. Sesame Street using the non-word "impactful." Oy!)
12/26/08
Also, I love all you caterwauling dykes.
12/26/08
I said "I love you" first to my (now) husband and he looked at me with joy, but didn't reciprocate for a few hours and that was okay with me. I was happy to share my feeling with him and happier to hear it from him. Love means putting yourself out there and trusting your partner. Express your love without fear or pressure if you have a reasonable expectation that your loved one may feel the same way. How awful to make a rule that women should never say it first because men are supposedly always flighty.
12/26/08
Speaking of which, why exactly does CNN have a deal with that web site? I agree aubonpam, everything I've ever seen from the Frisky has been a steaming pile of retrograde, 50s-era horseshit.
12/26/08
12/26/08
12/26/08
Some of us can be perfectly comfortable in an iron-ringed
12/26/08
Typing and mousing poorly, while we're there!
12/26/08
12/26/08
12/26/08
Love is a battlefield?
12/26/08
12/26/08
Pat Benatar.
12/26/08
Here's how I see it: If you really care about someone, and it's ostensibly mutual, and if you've been with them long enough to know them well, and if you are non-creepy and mostly mature about it, you can probably read them.
You probably know how they feel, you know what they like, you know what will creep them out. If you can tell that they're not ready for it, then don't bust it out. If it seems like they're busting at the seams to say it, but they're too shy, then for fucks' sake, tell them you love them. There's not enough goddamn love in the world as it is. It's not the end of the world if they don't reciprocate.
12/26/08
The first young woman I really dated told me that she loved me three weeks in. We were sitting in the car outside her house and she said it as we were sitting there only slightly awkwardly.
I was of course very intensely in love with her at the time, but because I'm a geek and my knee-jerk reaction is to be sassy all I could muster was an "I know."
Thankfully she wasn't that upset by that remark.
I do think that it's important to be open and honest emotionally with someone after you've gotten to know them. I mean you should try not to say "I really like you, and although this is the first time we've sat down to meet I want to marry you" on the first date. Emotional honesty is always the best policy, that way everyone is on the same level.
12/26/08
12/26/08
12/26/08
[xkcd.com]
And WORD Megan. Posts like this speak totally to why I love Jezebel like I do. It absolutely breaks my heart that so many women my age are super anxious about not being engaged or married, and it ends up being projected into strange ideas about what men are or are not. One of the most common ideas I've heard is this one about men being emotionally stunted- by extension then, they must be either coddled or manipulated into commitment. It's so bizarre, and that anxiety is just contagious.
I always feel better removing myself from situations where women talk about men that way, and reminding myself: you can't control how other people feel, or what they do. You can only control your responses to other people and to your own feelings.