• After a clip of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi getting punched in the face went viral last week, MTV has decided to pull the scene from an upcoming episode of Jersey Shore, stating that what happened to Snooki was "disturbing." [E!]

• According to E!, MTV has released the following statement: "What happened to Snooki was a crime and obviously extremely disturbing. After hearing from our viewers, further consulting with experts on the issue of violence, and seeing how the video footage has been taken out of context not to show the severity of this act or resulting consequences, MTV has decided not to air Snooki being physically punched in the face." [E!]
• Things are apparently getting serious between Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper: they've been spotted looking at houses together, and, according to a source, "he has already introduced her to his parents." [PageSix]
• Escort-service owner Michelle Braun says she has proof that one of Tiger Woods' mistresses, Jamie Jungers, used to work for her: a a 1099 tax form with Jungers' name on it. Braun does admit, however, that she can understand why Jungers might not recall working for her: "I did operate professionally under the name Nici, so maybe she doesn't know the name Michelle Braun. For eight years, I never met any of my girls or clients, and I never met her. In her defense, she might not be lying about not recognizing my name." [E!]
• Braun also claims that she set Tiger up with 10-15 women at a time. [TheSun]
• Meanwhile, Holly Sampson, a porn star also thought to be one of Woods' mistresses, was spotted outside of Vivid Entertainment with a script reading "Holly Sampson Golf Project." I'm sure the final product's name will be more creative, don't you think? Any guesses? [TMZ]
• Nike, however, says they are sticking by Tiger, despite his "indefinite" leave from golf, telling TMZ: "Tiger has been part of Nike for more than a decade. He is the best golfer in the world and one of the greatest athletes of his era. We look forward to his return to golf. He and his family have Nike's full support." [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson says growing up with her own famous mother makes her a bit sympathetic to her son, Ryder's reactions to her skimpier outfits at times: "I kinda understand what he was getting at. One time my mum came out wearing this little red dress. And I had that feeling like, 'Everyone's gonna be looking at you!'" [DailyExpress]
• "People work 20 years to get what we have. We really are so lucky. It's like you get a head start and it's all because of the fans. And it's not just about money or getting offers, it's that we can mold our careers."-Kellan Lutz, on the success of Twilight. [JustJared]
• NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak are reportedly in a stand-off with the producers of The Real Housewives of Atlanta because they're tired of paying the electric bills the show's production runs up in their homes. [TMZ]
• Penelope Cruz was disappointed when the rope marks from her big number in Nine (which involves sliding up and down ropes while wearing lingerie), disappeared. "I didn't want the marks I got from the ropes to go away, because they were like my little medals. I was so used to them that after three months of training, I didn't even feel physical pain anymore. I loved it." [E!]
• A prospective buyer for Lil' Wayne's house was asked by a broker before visiting the home: ,"'I have two questions: Are you offended by the smell of marijuana? And do you mind coming late in the afternoon? It's currently rented by Lil Wayne, and these are not morning people." [PageSix]
• Kevin Federline has lost quite a bit of weight, if anyone cares. [USWeekly]
• Victoria Beckham is using a method known as "The Alexander Technique" in order to improve her poor posture. "She absolutely hates the fact that in pictures she often has somewhat of a hunched-back stance and she hates having rounded shoulders, so she has been saying she feels so much better," says a source, "She practices the discipline after the gym every morning and at night. She is standing straighter and her body feels more aligned. It also helps you cope with stress." [DailyMail]
• Lily Allen says she believes she may have "a touch of dysmorphia. I was sitting in bed last night and I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I said: 'God, I'm a funny looking thing.'" [DailyMail]
• Hosting Saturday Night Live was the best week of my life. I started as a theater kid, so "SNL" has been up on a pedestal for me and I've always wondered what it would be like to actually experience it. You don't even notice you're so busy that you have to eat while walking to your next meeting. I was at 30 Rock at 7 a.m. until 1 or 2 at night a lot of times. I didn't want to leave. I was definitely stepping out of my comfort zone in terms of how people have seen me in the past. To see the reviews come in and them being positive and the ratings come in, and the fans were so wonderful and made a point to watch, it made me so thankful and so happy."- Taylor Swift [Reuters]
• If you're a Coldplay fan, you might want to check out their "Coldplay End of Decade Clearout Sale" on Ebay; the band is auctioning off signed costumes, instruments, and more to benefit "Kids Company, an incredible charity that helps vulnerable children and young people in London." [TheSun]
• Rowan "Mr. Bean" Atkinson's vintage Jaguar caught fire late last night; Atkinson escaped with "cuts and bruises" and the car was eventually towed away. [DailyExpress]
• Michael Jackson will be honored with a posthumous Lifetime Achievement Award at next month's Grammys. [Reuters]
• "One of my biggest dreams is to do a one-woman show, with dancing and singing. I just have to figure out the concept."-Catherine Zeta-Jones [DailyExpress]
• The Guardian is currently running a roundup of celebrities who "ruined the decade." On the list? Will.I.Am, Dan Brown, and Michael Cera. [Guardian]
• Russell Brand met girlfriend Katy Perry's parents and has been impressing them by dropping quotes from such people as Nelson Mandela: "You know, I've been bringing out quotes, I'm doing well, you know, because I'm committed to it and they're lovely, lovely people, its been nice. Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought well this has got a huge scope for disaster, but it's actually been quite good so far."[DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, Katy's father, Keith Hudson reportedly gave Brand a copy of his book The Cry which promises to "release a desperate longing in you for Gods intervention in your life." Brand then gave the Hudson's a copy of his own book, My Booky Wook, which Perry's mother, Mary Hudson read, telling the New York Daily News that "There are parts of Russell's book where he's really hungry for positive influences in his life. I think the two of them are hungry. They are basically seeking the truth from God - and they are going to find it." [NYDN]

[Image via MTV]

Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

• John Travolta allegedly refused medical help after his son Jett suffered a seizure — which is why the paramedics in the Bahamas were trying to blackmail him.

Reportedly, Travolta wanted the ambulance to drive his son to an airport so he could be flown back to the US for treatment — instead of to the island hospital, 45 minutes away. [Daily Mail, Mirror]

• John Travolta will be the first witness called today. And there may be a secret videotape which allegedly shows the attempted extortion. [TMZ]
• Jaclyn Smith is not dead, despite what Perez Hilton has reported. He apparently mistranslated a story about her stunt double's suicide attempt. Smith's Twitter reads: "Jaclyn is safe and home with her family. She is not in Honduras. It is a lie." [Vancouver Sun]
• Just to clarify: Jaclyn Smith's former stunt double — from her Charlie's Angels days — may have attempted suicide and may be in critical condition, but Jaclyn Smith is fine. [E!]
• Two photographers are suing Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, claiming the couple's bodyguard shot at them outside the Costa Rican estate where the couple were having wedding celebrations. [NY Daily News]
• Congrats to Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr., who welcomed newborn daughter Charlotte Grace Prinze on Saturday. [Page Six]
• Mickey Rourke will play The Ice Man in a movie about a a sadistic Mafia hit man who murdered more than 200 people. [Page Six]
• In court documents, Britney's American Express card charges for the first 11 months of her conservatorship have been revealed: She spent $5,183.13 on restaurants; $10,096.53 on travel and $17,370.29 on furniture. [TMZ]
• Chloë Sevigny and Jason Segel drink champagne and eat chocolate and kiss and hold hands and so on. [Page Six]
• Beyoncé has rescheduled a concert in Malaysia after canceling what was supposed to be her first show there. Scheduling conflicts? Or the country's strict dress code? [UPI]
• How much would you love to see Will Ferrell sing a karaoke version of "Wanted Dead Or Alive"? [Page Six]
• Get well soon, Megan Mullally! She was injured in a car crash last week, and while the injuries are minor, she had to cancel performances of her play The Receptionist in L.A. [TMZ]
• According to a court order, Aerosmith's concert next month in Hawaii must be of the same "quality, type and duration" as a regular Aerosmith concert: No half-assing it with a 30-minute gig. [People]
• Billy Joel has a new lady in his life, a "Katie Lee-esqe brunette" named Deborah Dampiere. [HuffPo]
• The Jay Leno Show has lost more than two-thirds of its initial viewers. [USA Today]
• A woman connected to Michael Jackson's personal physician (Dr. Conrad Murray) — she may be his girlfriend — has been ordered to testify before a grand jury in Los Angeles. [CBS News]
• New details in the Anna Nicole Smith case: Two nannies who worked for Anna claim they saw Howard K. Stern and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich inject drugs into Anna's system. Afterward, she would be all messed up — falling in the house; sleeping for two or three days at a time. [TMZ]
• In addition, there are legal documents stating that Anna Nicole Smith and her shrink, Dr. Khristine Eroshevich, took nude pictures together in a bathtub and their relationship "crossed the boundaries of professionalism." [TMZ]
• There will be a court session for the Anna Nicole Smith case this morning, and Howard K. Stern could be charged with 11 different felony counts. [TMZ]
• Take a minute and read this interview with Charlotte Gainsbourg, about her experience shooting Lars von Trier's Antichrist. She talks about panic attacks, self-harm, working with a porn actor (or trying to) and doing movies with taboo subjects like incest. And she says: "Lars does portray his own fear of women and the sexuality of women. It's not at all a hatred against women-it's really quite the opposite. He's sincere in the way that he's talking about his own fears, his own questions, but he's not accusing women… Of course, [my character] has some kind of an evil part to her, but for me, it had a lot to do with the grieving and going into madness. And then the act of physically cutting herself was the extreme of madness and just trying, with her guilt, to-there's no way of coping with it, so how do you hurt yourself in the most horrific way?" [Village Voice]
• Alexandra Richards was hired to DJ a party but left after 38 minutes to go have dinner — yet she expected to be paid for the full 3 hours her contract stipulated. [Page Six]
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough: Maybe back on, if you care. [Page Six]
• Friends and family attended the funeral of Jasmine Fiore over the weekend, and "everyone was crying." [NY Times]
• "The cow's a diva; it's a little known fact.  She's not very giving." — Josh Jackson on his costar in Fox TV show Fringe. [Teen Television]
• "What I try to do is take the best bits of my mother's charitable work and the best bits of my father's charitable work and do them both together. I'm not in their league, but I'm warming up, hopefully, and I'm trying to do what I can." — Prince William. [Telegraph]
• "I was funny in school. I was funny in the classroom. I really got tired of giving it away for free. People say, 'How can you talk all day?' I could do it on the phone or do it on television. A painter paints. I yak yak all day." — Joy Behar, whose new show on HLN (formerly Headline News) begins next week. [WaPo]
• "I saw her on a chat show. I'd worked with her before on Alias and she's always happy and always pleasant to everyone really and when she swears she says thing like 'darnit' and 'darn' — now even The Waltons go a bit (further). Her favourite swear word is 'rats' - that's not a swear word! Rats isn't a swear word." — Ricky Gervais on Jennifer Garner, who he calls "Miss Goody Two Shoes." [Mirror]
• "This was a very joyous moment where I've got new life. It was also a very sorrowful moment, where my sister had gone on, and the family that donated the kidney had lost their daughter as well. My first reaction was that I wished I were back on dialysis to have my sister. These two people had left this earth – and I was here. Why? I feel like I don't deserve it." — Natalie Cole, on getting a life-saving kidney transplant and then learning that her sister Cookie had passed away. [People]
• "I was about 24 years old, and I had tons of acne. I met some random girl on a bus who told me to quit dairy and all those symptoms would go away three days later. By God, she was right." — Woody Harrelson. [Page Six]
• "She's not playing the victim! The press plays the victim for her. All the stories about her-'She's so lonely.' Please! She's having the time of her life! She goes to Mexico every other weekend with her girlfriends, while Angelina and Brad shuffle their kids across country. Would you rather wake up with a margarita or eight children?" — Chelsea Handler, on Jennifer Aniston, who will be a guest on Chelsea's show. [Village Voice]

• Katherine Jackson, Michael Jackson's mother, has filed a petition in court seeking legal guardianship of Jackson's three children, but the Jackson family thinks Debbie Rowe may try to get custody of her two children.

• A family source says, "Debbie sent her condolences, and said she was not going to do anything about the kids ... yet. Joe and Katherine think she's going to come after them." [People]
• Katherine Jackson's petition says the kids have, "a long established relationship" with her, but "no relationship with their biological mother." Debbie Rowe is named as the mother of the two oldest children, but in the box next to Prince "Blanket" Michael Jackson II's name under "mother" it says "none." A hearing about the petition is set for August 3. [TMZ]
• In this clip from Today, Jackson family lawyer Londell McMillan says Michael Jackson's children will most likely remain with their grandmother, who currently has custody. [TMZ]
• Katherine and Joe Jackson have filed a petition to probate their son Michael Jackson's estate. They say Michael died without a will and are seeking to take possession of his assets for "for the exclusive use of [his] three children." [People]
• Michael Jackson's longtime lawyer John Branca has a copy of his most current will and intends to file it with the court. The Jackson family hasn't seen a copy. [TMZ]
• Sources say it's looking more and more like Michael Jackson died from a drug overdose. [TMZ]
• A lawyer for Dr. Conrad Murray appeared on Good Morning America this morning and explained that even though CPR is usually performed on a hard surface, it was OK that Murray gave Michael Jackson CPR where he found him because it was a "firm bed." [TMZ]
• As mentioned earlier, reports about findings from Michael Jackson's autopsy were totally fake. The L.A. County coroner released this statement: "The report that is being published did not come from this office. I don't know where the information came from, or who that information came from. It is not accurate. Some of it is totally false." [TMZ]
• OK! paid $500,000 to put the picture of Michael Jackson dying on a stretcher on the cover. The other tabloids supposedly have tribute-style covers coming out on Wednesday. OK! has been losing money and ran the gruesome cover in an attempt to differentiate itself from the other mags. More in Midweek Madness. [Media Week]
• Here are some photos of Michael Jackson rehearsing for his London concerts two days before he died. [TMZ]
• In an interview, Marlon Jackson says his brother Michael wasn't in a wheelchair and was doing well when he saw him last month. Marlon adds that he hasn't been able to get in touch with his mom since Michael's death. "I've been trying to get a hold of my mom. I talked to Jackie. I talked to Tito. They feel the same way. A piece of our hear a piece of us went with him. It was a shock to them, too. I talked to my brother Jackie and he said, 'Marlon, is it true?' I said, 'I'm calling them right now to see if it's true.' That's when I called [Michael's manager] Frank Dileo and I couldn't get to my mom. I talked to him the first time and he was at the house and my mom was in the background crying, and she was just upset... It's like when anyone else loses their family member. It hurts. It hurts right now. It really hurts." [CNN]
• Quincy Jones got emotional at a London nightclub when Will.i.am started playing a tribute to Michael Jackson. "He got very upset when Michael's music came on – at one point his head was in his hands," said a source at the club. "but [Jones] loved the fact that people were going crazy on the dancefloor. Quincy seemed genuinely touched." [People]
• Jack Tweed says Michael Jackson called his late wife Jade Goody while she was dying of cancer. "He wanted to speak to Jade but Jade wasn't well enough to speak to him so I had to phone him," Tweed said. "It was very weird. He just went, 'Hello, Jack, this is Michael Jackson. Just giving his love for Jade really, and he wanted Jade to see him in his concerts in the O2." [The Sun]
• Diane Keaton hit her head while filming Morning Glory in New York had to be removed by stretcher. A studio rep says she was, "taken to a hospital for precautionary tests and has been cleared to return to work tomorrow." Keaton was wearing a sumo wrestler costume for a scene in the film when she was injured. [TMZ]
• The medical examiner who performed Billy Mays' autopsy says there was no connection between his death and the head injury he suffered during a rough plane landing. The autopsy showed "hypertensive and arteriosclerotic disease of the heart" — which means he probably died of a heart attack in his sleep. The official cause of death will be announced after test results come in. [TMZAP]
• Here's an in-depth legal explanation of Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce papers. Basically, they followed standard procedure for a no-fault divorce. [People]
• Tonight's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 will feature a retrospective of the Gosselin's 10 year marriage, then the show will go on hiatus until August 3. They have posted a statement on their website saying, "During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation. Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many. Thank you." [People]
• Among the shows picked up by VH1 are three new series starring Salt n Pepa's Sandra "Pepa" Denton, TLC's Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas, and I Love NY participant Frank "the Entertainer" Moresco. New seasons of Celebrity Fit Club and Sober House With Dr. Drew were also picked up. [Variety]
• Drea de Matteo of The Sopranos will join the cast of Desperate Housewives as the matriarch of a new Italian family on the show. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay have signed a deal to stay on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit for the next two years. Also, Christine Lahti will guest star in the first four episodes next season and former regular Stephanie March will be back starting with episode five. [Variety]
• Sean Connery is annoyed because 300 BBC employees were sent to cover the music festival in Glastonbury this weekend, but none were sent to the Edinburgh International Film Festival, which he sponsors. Conncery said, "Not one (BBC technician) at the Edinburgh International Film Festival. It affects us all, it certainly affects me, and I think we should do something about it." [The Daily Express]
• Jordan says she isn't dating any of the men she's been seen out with since breaking up with Peter Andre. "Yes I've been seen with Anthony Lowther, and yes I've been seen with my ex Matt Peacock," she said. "There's nothing going on with either of them, it's just speculating like usual. What you have to remember is that Pete left me at the end of the day, but I don't want to go down that road." [The Sun]
• French filmmaker Luc Besson's movie company €was fined $140,580 for the death of a cameraman who was hit by a car during a 1999 stunt shoot for Taxi 2. The head stunt director was given a six-month suspended prison sentence. [Yahoo]
• Hayden Panettiere says, "My biggest crush was in the second grade on this kid named Mike. He was really good at kickball." Things didn't work out because Mike had a crush on her best friend and, "I was jealous, so I told her that he told me that he had a crush on both of us. So it made me feel a little bit better about the whole thing." [E!]
• Gene Simmons says Adam Lambert, "killed his career because now the conversation is not about his talent but about his sexual preference. He's done. I hope I'm completely wrong. I hope he becomes the next Beatles and proves me wrong." [Fox 23]
• New York Magazine asked Michael Urie of Ugly Betty if he thinks saying, "I'm Gay," would stop him from getting roles. He replied: "That's not really the point. By using publicity to say something like that, it could become a person's M.O, and I'm not interested in that. I really think this article should be about [his new play] The Temperamentals. I understand where you're coming from and why you think this is important and that this is a play about being true to yourself. But artists and activists are not quite the same thing, and I feel like support can come from lots of different ways... I don't think it's really newsworthy if the gay guy from Ugly Betty is gay or not." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Emma Watson says she didn't know that she had a £10 million fortune until she turned 18 last year. "My dad never told me how much money I was earning," she said, "Then, when I hit 18, he was like, 'I want you to understand that your money isn't some kind of abstract concept. I want you to have a feel for what it's worth and what you can do with it." [The Mirror]
• Abigail Breslin makes about $2 million per movie now, but she only saw a $1 pay raise. "I get $13 [a week] now, because I'm 13," she said. "My chores have gotten a little heavier. My brother used to always to feed the cat and now I feed the cat, which isn't a big deal, but it kind of is, because my cat eats tons. It's like an all-day long cycle." [People]

• Michelle Obama and "first tweens" Malia and Sasha skipped the health care talk President Obama gave on ABC last night and went to a Beyoncé concert instead.

Gawd, imagine sitting next to your mom while Sasha Fierce sings about Jay-Z's penis?!?! [ABC News]

• Late-breaking news: Jackie O seduced Marlon Brando? [Page Six]
• Also? Jackie may have had an affair with Bobby Kennedy? [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt's mom: On Team Aniston. Insert eyeroll emoticon. [MSNBC]
• Kate Gosselin used a local lawyer when filing for divorce, but Jon Gosselin chose Charles J. Meyer, one of the Philadelphia area's most high-profile family law attorneys. [MSNBC]
• "Jon 'hurt' by Kate's remarks as she cites his weekend 'activities.'" [CNN]
• "I'm sorry. And I mean it," writes Perez Hilton. [Perez]
• Here's a mug shot of the dude who allegedly punched Perez, whom you may or may not secretly admire. [TMZ]
• Perez is suing the guy who gave him a black eye. [Page Six]
• Will.I.Am says: " would hate for my silence to be misconstrued… I do not condone harassment or violence of any kind…" [Just Jared]
• A 22-year-old drama student from the University of Indiana is planning to stage a play called The Last Days Of Heath Ledger. [Fox News]
• TMZ says it's not looking good for Farrah Fawcett. [TMZ]
• Have you seen that kid who tried to give Megan Fox a rose? You could get $5,000 if you know who he is. [Page Six]
• Russell Simmons: Seen making out with the gorgeous French actress/model Noemie Lenoir. [Page Six]
• Joy Behar's wedding: Off. How does her boyfriend feel about it? "Steve is fine," Behar says. "He says, 'Do whatever you want.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse lyrics wrapping paper and greeting cards. No, really. [The Sun]
• Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint went to a pub and got so drunk they couldn't remember the name of the film Harry Portter and The Order Of The Phoenix. [Daily Star]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton wanted to smoke a cigarette in a London club and was shut down. [Daily Mail]
• Two paparazzi were robbed a few hours after they snapped pix of Robbie Williams… and argued with his entourage. Coincidence? [USA Today]
• Launching this fall: Rosie Radio on XM. Rosie O'Donnell will discuss news and entertainment and chat with guests. "I think it'll be good for me," Rosie says. [AP]
• Ryan Reynolds will star in Buried, playing a civilian contractor who's kidnapped in Iraq and awakens buried in a coffin in the desert, armed only with a cell phone, a candle and a knife. [Variety]
• The estranged daughter of Billy Bob Thornton has been indicted in the death of a one-year-old girl she was baby sitting. [AP]
• Kate Hudson is described as a "steakhouse hex," since she watched the Yankees game from a restaurant and her boyfriend's team lost. [Page Six]
• Seth Rogen "seems to have given up on his diet" since he dared to be seen "wolfing down pasta" at a "high-calorie dinner." [Page Six]
• Tatyana Ali from the Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air is in the news, yay! Oh, but she is suing a company of losing her money, boo. [TMZ]
• An auto parts store in Whittier, CA is "paying tribute" to mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman with an interesting VW display involving a mannequin and a bunch of baby dolls. Traffic-stopping image at the link. [LA Times]
• The ABBA museum: Scrapped due to a lack of cash. If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. (Not really.) [NY Times]
• Get to know Scout Taylor-Compton: She has been cast as Lita Ford in The Runaways alongside Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning. [Variety]
• Oh-Snap-Blind-Item! "Which meanspirited starlet e-mailed a co-star's sex tape to a lengthy list of mutual friends?" [Gatecrasher]
• "In 1979, I was teaching nude photography at Parsons school in New York. I needed models for the course – and one day a 20-year-old called Madonna Ciccone showed up. She was just another citizen, a girl trying to make ends meet. She was quiet, taciturn. I'm not sure it was something she enjoyed. She did it for the money, in this case $30. She was relaxed, composed, did as asked. Some people are stiff, some are there to do a job, some give a little more. She was in the middle: she did what she was told but nothing extra." — Martin Schreiber. Nude pic of her Magesty at the link. [Guardian]
• "I can't think of myself in terms of celebrity. It's just too weird. If the choice is between being constantly gawked at and sitting in a chair in a dark room, I prefer the dark room." — Johnny Depp. [Telgraph]
• "The island [I own] can be perceived as a luxury and it certainly is, but it provides me with simplicity and somewhere I can go where no one is looking at me or pointing a camera or a finger at me. I can just be: that's the importance of it. When we're there we do absolutely nothing. My kiddies don't have any toys there and they build little houses out of shells." — Johnny Depp. [Telegraph]
• "I don't feel I've ever played the same person twice. Even though I might have done a couple of comedies or a couple of romantic comedies, the characters are all very different to me," — To you, but not to us, Cameron Diaz. [Reuters]
• "To me, Mia's story's about what happens when you're never really loved in the course of your life. When nobody really takes care of you. You can end up extremely damaged. Thank God, my real life doesn't resemble poor Mia at all." — Hope Davis, on her In Treatment character. [The Daily Beast]
• "I think he's the only functional father. Lucius isn't a functional father. 'Proto' fathers Sirius and Dumbledore are dead, and there's no nice way to put that, so he's the only good image of a father really." — Mark Williams, who plays Aurthur Weasley in the Harry Potter films. [LA Times]
• "After several weeks of continued press coverage of Jon Peters' upcoming book, I want to make something very clear. I have never dated nor had a romantic relationship with Mr. Peters. My name has been continually linked to his romantic liaisons, and I want to put a stop to this lie." — Salma Hayek. [EW]
• "Best way to get over a broken heart? Listen to good music." — Zooey Deschanel, who is reportedly engaged to Ben Gibbard from Death Cab For Cutie. [Mirror]
• "I never look at myself, even in still photographs. I don't look at anything. I panic if there is a monitor in the room. I immediately go into like an anxiety attack. I'm insecure, I think most actors are pretty insecure… I'm not coping very well with all this. Really I'm insane and I don't know how to control my mouth, but I'm working on it." — Your friend Megan Fox. [Mirror]

Perez says he called Will.I.Am a faggot during an altercation because it "was the worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear." GLAAD's Rashad Robinson responds,

For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is 'The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,' is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting antigay attitudes.

Robinson's absolutely right, and we applaud everyone who's criticizing Perez for using a slur in a decidedly non-reclaiming way. However, Perez has also spent his entire career dehumanizing women by exploiting sexist attitudes — with little repercussions. We used to tackle his bullshit in Missdemeanors, but that's on hiatus, so Intern Katy looked through Perez's posts from the last seven days and came up with these examples of his crimes against womanity:

• Calling Katie Price old, and an alcoholic: "The former glamor model pAArtied the night away at Boho nightclub in a gold lamé onesie, looking like the hot mess of the century. Remember: you're 31, not 21!"
• Calling Nicole Kidman old, and a ho: "The ice queen turns 60 today, and in celebration of her natal feat day, check out THIS pHOto gallery of the Botox beauty." Capitalizing letters to say rude things is so witty — if you're in eighth grade.
• Mocking Brooke Hogan (and, implicitly, Britney): "What's the first thing a famewhore does when she goes to Los Angeles? Hunt for paparazzi on Robertson! Shop at Kiston! Show some vadge!"
• Describing LeAnn Rimes as a "homewrecking ho" (what, no HOmewrecking?) and a "country hoochie." He also draws a big X over her face, thus stooping to second-grade wit levels.
• Blaming Aubrey O'Day for getting robbed, and she is a "dumb blonde" who had the nerve to enter an alleyway.

And Katy says this has been a pretty tame week for Perez, perhaps because he's on good behavior after the Will.I.Am incident. His behavior was far from good, however, throughout his feud with Carrie Prejean. After she was stripped of her Miss California crown, for instance, he called her a "dumb bitch" and drew a dick shooting cum on her face. Presumably, Perez is aware that his site looks like a middle school health book marked up by sharpie-wielding twelve-year-olds, but why hasn't anybody thought to call him on his slut-shaming, "vadge"-dropping, generally intelligent-insulting misogyny?

Andrew Sullivan seems to maybe sort of try, but he gets it very wrong:

The gay language police are after Hilton. It does strike me as rich that someone who called a woman a "dumb bitch" because she respectfully offered an evangelical view of marriage equality should use the word "faggot" in lambasting an assailant.

Really, Perez's behavior isn't inconsistent. His views on gay marriage (which, for the record, support actual equality as opposed to "an evangelical view of marriage equality") don't preclude him from being a thoughtless jerk who uses crude language to demean people. And what Sullivan calls "the gay language police" (aka people who fight against hate speech directed at historically persecuted groups) are very right to criticize Perez. We just wish the feminist language police had gotten on his case a lot earlier.

Why didn't they? Why did NOW speak out against Letterman when he made fun of Sarah Palin, but never against Perez? Maybe because serious feminists don't want to be seen as stooping to his level (it is tough to argue with a guy whose idea of political critique is drawing a dick on someone's face). Or maybe because we're so used to misogyny in the gossip world that we barely notice it anymore. Even non-dick-drawing gossip-mongers like the tabloids present women as little more than bodies to be endlessly critiqued for their imperfections, or as characters in a sexual morality play whose actions are fair game for our judgment. Maybe we've just accepted that to people like Perez, women are dumb sluts who exist so we can look at their vadges. But the longer we accept this from Perez and his ilk, the longer we'll live in a world where it's okay to call a woman a bitch when you don't agree with her, and to call her a ho whenever you feel like it. And that world sucks not just for celebrities, not even just for women, but for everybody.

Update: Newsweek's Kate Dailey rightly says Perez didn't deserve a beating, and wrongly brushes off both his "faggot" remark and his general misogyny.

He Who Must Not Be Paid Attention [FourFour]
Perez And The Petard [Daily Dish]
Prejean & Miss California May Battle It Out In Court! [Perez Hiton]
John Mayer, Perez Hilton, And The Politics Of Victim Blaming [The Human Condition (Newsweek Blog)]

Related:

• As mentioned yesterday, after Perez Hilton insulted Fergie, Perez and Will.I.Am had a confrontation in which Perez said:

"I don't need to respect you, and you're a fag. You're gay, and stop being such a faggot." GLAAD is not happy! A spokesperson for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation says: "These are vulgar antigay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community. For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is 'The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,' is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting antigay attitudes." [E!]

• Fergie's husband Josh Duhamel on the Perez kerfluffle: "When you get rich saying hateful things sometimes you ask for it… It's an unfortunate incident and I hope it goes away." [ET Online]
• Tila Tequila has gone off on Perez Hilton. From her Twitter: "you are such a whiney bitch! quit crying ur not a star." And! "I will not be like other celebs who are afraid of him and kiss his ass! i am not afraid of Perez Hilton. He knows he can't fuck with me." Plus: "I find it ironic that Perez talks shit about people all day long. He calls people faggot yet bashes Miss California. Perez Hilton is a bitch." [ONTD]
• Oh snap: Kirstie Alley also went off, making fun of Perez by Tweeting: "Will.I.Am? You am my new hero… smack!!! Wah wah wah… ouch ouch my eye… ouch ouch ouch call 911 boo hoo ouch." [ONTD]
• John Mayer joined the Perez hate on Twitter. [Pop Dirt]
• And Kelly Clarkson says no one will pity Perez and she would give her left arm to look as pretty as Fergie does. [ONTD]
• Polo Molina, the manager of the Black Eyed Peas, is the one who hit Perez and has turned himself in. Perez says to Will.I.Am : "I'd have more respect for you if you hit me yourself - you're a coward. Violence is never the answer. Fuck you, will.i.am, for lying. Shame on you. I did not deserve what happened to me. I have lost all respect for all of you and the Black Eyed Peas. And Fergie, you're fugly." Stay classy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jail 'Break' For Rihanna Ex: Beater Brown Gets Off Easy With Assault Plea." [NY Post]
• RIP Ed McMahon: 1923-2009. [Post Chronicle]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin announced that they are separating on last night's show. (And court documents show they have filed for divorce.) This columnist speculates that Jon will become a C-list celeb and Kate will be watched closely — people will be expecting her to cross the line or make a misstep with the kids. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "It still remains to be seen how TLC will handle the episodes of Jon & Kate shot before the divorce papers were filed - and now instantly dated. The channel has made a huge 40-episode order for the show's fifth season." [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday, and Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Lucy Liu were there to celebrate with her. [People]
• Scenes from a lunch with Betty White and Cloris Leachman! It's hilarious. Cloris says of the tunic she makes for her clothing line, Clorisline: "It looks so pretty. Just tie it, put on some jewelry, go out to dinner and get drunk." Betty has quips too — just read it. [USA Today]
• Amy Winehouse wishes to become a permanent resident of St, Lucia! The weed must be really, really good. [Gatecrasher]
• Readers of Heat magazine in the UK have voted Robert Pattinson as the sexiest man on the planet. Blinded by the sparkles! [Mirror]
• BREAKING: Miley Cyrus makes money. [TMZ]
• David Beckham won "substantial" libel damages over a newspaper's claim that he "made a play" for a model. The story was printed on the front page of The Daily Star in April, and Beckham's lawyer called the allegation "serious and defamatory" and "untrue." The newspaper has retracted. [Mirror]
• OMG: A movie with Cher and Christina Aguilera? So much hair! So little wardrobe! So much attitude! [Variety]
• Even though there were reports that Anna Faris and Chris Pratt had wed in Hawaii, Anna's rep says: "it's not true." [Daily Express]
• A dude who played a gangster in Slumdog Millionaire has been accused of threatening the owner of a production company — demanding roles in films! [Times Of India]
• Lauryn Hill canceled all of her European tour dates; Wyclef Jean will stand in for her at the Montreux Jazz Festival. [Reuters]
• One of the co-executive producers of Heroes has abruptly left the show. [NY Mag]
• One of Candy Spelling's former employees claims Candy fired her for complaining about being overworked and underpaid. [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has gotten a crude X tattooed over the tattoo of her estranged husband's name on her wrist. It looks bad. (But the pix of her gallivanting on a powerboat near Ibiza look awesome.) [Daily Mail]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has ever-so-eloquently Tweeted: "pete being a true cunt to me ! he left me nt me leave him." [The Sun, Twitter]
• The Spice Girls made a ton of cash last year, from touring. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which hot young bachelor has (quite disappointingly) revealed himself to be a totally awful kisser?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was broke at the time and this was my chance to make a few bucks, so I jumped at the opportunity to record for my first time in a professional studio. The work I did back then in no way reflects the music I am currently in the studio working on. I'm thrilled to be working with some of today's hottest songwriters and producers and can't wait for people to hear what my music really sounds like." — Adam Lambert is not a fan of his song, "Want," recorded before American Idol. [NY Daily News]
• "I think crime here is shocking and knife crime is shocking and everyone must do what they can to be safe." — Kevin Spacey finds London a wee dangerous. [Telegraph]
• "I recently gave a self-esteem workshop for Girl Scouts in Nashville, and I told the girls that I wasn't a role model for my weight, because I change. Sometimes I'm thicker when I'm around my family and I'm eating more. Sometimes I'm thinner because I'm on the road and that takes a lot out of me. But I do feel it's important to talk to girls about weight. They see these images, and there's no way they'll ever live up to them. I want them to see someone who is real and know they don't have to live up to anything." — Kelly Clarkson. [Reader's Digest]
• "I have a very serious regime of starvation and stress. I have gotten meaner as I have gotten thinner. I'm like the lost Olsen triplet." — Kathy Griffin. [WWD]
• "Everybody is unique. They're both very beautiful and they're both kind of sexy gals. Maybe Megan will start doing the things that Angie is so well known for. [Angie] is obviously known for her helping with kids and concern for others. I think that would be wonderful for all of the kids [if Megan were to do the same]. Megan can do a lot of good, so that would be great." — Jon Voight, on the similarities between his daughter Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. And yes, he said his daughter was sexy. [Life &Style]

• The police were called to Lindsay Lohan's home at about 4 a.m. yesterday after her neighbors complained that she was playing loud music. She was ticketed for being excessively noisy. [TMZ]

• Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett have been together since 1980 and now he says, "I've asked her to marry me, again, and she's agreed." O'Neal made the announcement during an interview with Barbara Walters for Friday's 20/20. He added, "We will, as soon as she can, say yes. Maybe we can just nod her head." [People]
• Farrah has been hospitalized for at least the past two week in Los Angeles. "There was a moment last week when she was supposed to be released and was going home but things changed," says the source. Her publicist would only say, "She is still being treated for her condition." [People]
• As mentioned earlier, Chris Brown has made a plea deal and will serve five years of probation for assaulting Rihanna. Brown plead guilty to felony assault and was ordered to enroll in an anti-domestic violence program, perform 180 days of community service, and to have his travel vetted by a probation officer. He was ordered to stay away from Rihanna. [CNN]
• Though Rihanna had not requested a restraining order, Judge Patricia Schnegg called her in to the courtroom after Chris Brown left and said she had issued a stay-away order. Brown and Rihanna must stay at least 50 yards from each other, except at industry events where the distance is reduced to 10 yards. It's not a one way order, so Rihanna will be in violation if she gets too close to Chris. [MSNBC]
• As reported over the weekend, after 16 years of marriage, Jane Kaczmarek and Bradley Whitford are divorcing. And when asked about her love life in a recent interview, Kaczmarek said, "That's a big no comment." [More]
• Mercy James has been spotted outside Madonna's London home being held by a nanny. A friend of the family says, "The next few days are all about cocooning Mercy from the world and getting her used to being around her new family." [The Mirror]
• Carrie Prejean says the Miss California USA organization knew she was planning to write a book, but now a lawyer for the organization says, "There is no dispute that, although some discussions about the possible terms and conditions of a future agreement allowing Ms. Prejean to write a book were in progress," the organizers never "gave written consent to any such book, print article, or similar publication. Accordingly, her participation in the admitted book deal unquestionably violates the contract and appears to be a knowing and deliberate violation." [U.S. News]
• Meg Ryan will guest star in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm's seventh season, which will also feature a reunion of the Seinfeld cast. [The Sun]
• Beyonce's record label says she's not to blame for the cancellation of a launch party this weekend for her North American tour. Music World/Columbia Records released a statement saying the New York party was cancelled because of a breach of contract by the party promoter, saying Beyonce "was never scheduled to perform, but was to serve as a co-host and introduce singer/songwriter Solange's performance. Patrons were falsely promised a performance by Beyonce." [UPI]
• Bret Michaels has rescheduled two solo performance dates due to the injuries he received at the Tony Awards. A post on his website said, "The trauma caused by the now infamous accident at the Tonys continues to take its toll on Mr. Michaels throat as well as other physical conditions," and continues, "He has been shot at, had broken bones, severe lacerations and contusion not to mention crucial high and low blood sugar levels due to his condition as a juvenile diabetic yet has always done his best to make his way to the stage." [Rolling Stone]
• In this video Megan Fox talks about why she snubbed a teenage boy trying to give her a rose. She says she says it was dark and she didn't see him and apologized saying, "I'm sorry sweet boy I would never do that to you." [Perez Hilton]
• Kate Hudson has been spotted in the back of A-Rod's chauffeured car leaving various parties in Miami. [Palm Beach Post]
• VH1 has officially announced that Jessica Simpson will star in a new series called The Price of Beauty, which "takes Jessica all over the world to meet every day women. She may also discover some local pop culture icons on their own quests for beauty along the way. Jessica will study the local fashions, dietary fads and beauty regimes and even participate in some of the extreme practices she discovers." [PR Newswire]
• Perez Hilton has posted a video explaining his side of the attack that took place in Toronto. He claims Will.I.Am's manager hit him in the face "two or three times." [Perez Hilton]
• But if you don't want to take Perez Hilton's word for it, you can watch footage of the incident at the link. It starts in the middle of an argument between Hilton and Will.I.Am. Hilton is heard telling him, "you're not a fucking artist ... you're a fucking faggot." [TMZ]
• Patti LuPone stopped singing during a show once again, because she thought someone was taking a picture. At a performance last night she stopped singing and asked an audience member holding an electronic device, "What were you doing? I promise not to be mad at you. Just tell me, what were you doing - videoing? Taking photos? Texting? I really want to know." The fan did not respond and Lupone threatened to have him thrown out if it happened again, then continued singing "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina." [The N.Y. Times]
• Mel Gibson's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, has released a video for her new single Say My Name. You can check it out here: [People]
• The IRS says Kevin Federline owes $14,371 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• Russell Crowe has responded to the rumors that he and director Ridley Scott are fighting on the set of Robin Hood saying, "Ridley and I have never made a secret of the way we work, we agree to disagree because in the calculation of both our opinions we create the best idea. There's no yelling, no diva bullshit, we are doing our jobs to the best of our abilities and try to do something special every day." [The Daily Express]
• In this week's People Chace Crawford mentioned Ed Westwick's "Velcro patch of chest-hair." Westwick responded, saying, "I'm just not a pretty little boy, now am I?" [People]
• Rita Wilson has dropped her lawsuit against Melissa Pearl, in which she claimed that a $75,000 1962 Beatles poster she bought for Tom Hanks did not come with the proper authentication. Pearl produced a document from Sotheby's proving it's authenticity so the case was dropped. [TMZ]
• Here's a lengthy interview with Justin Kirk of Weeds on what to expect on the new season. [E!]
• Robin Wright Penn was interviewed for the magazine Psychologies after her first reconciliation with Sean Penn, but after they separated for a second time earlier this year. "It feels good now," she said. "If it didn't I wouldn't still be here." She added, "All marriages have their phases. It's life. We go through it, if we're married long enough. If you're lucky you grow and you work it out." [People]
• Spencer and Heidi Pratt are coming back to I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here. They're on a plane right now heading back to Costa Rica. [TMZ]
• Stephen Baldwin quit I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! after insects laid their eggs under his skin. He explains: "I suffered in the first eight days of production, while in the jungle, over 125 insect bites on my body... and two of them, much to my surprise, became quite lumpy initially. Within about 72 hours they were these half dollar-sized lumps under my skin that were probably about an inch thick... So they tested these things and sure enough, Stevie B was 'pregnant.'" Medics removed the larvae from his skin. [Star Pulse]

• According to this report, Jennifer Aniston is "struggling" to stay away from John Mayer:

Last week she sent him a "hand-delivered, perfumed note" before one of his concerts, and it read, "Play well, you always do." Then she moped around her mansion and sobbed giant old lonely spinster tears. [Daily Express]

• Rihanna is reportedly not nervous about testifying in court today. [E!, NY Post, NY Daily News]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown will be working with Keri Hilson. [E!]
• Chris Brown will listen to Rihanna give a detailed description of how he struck her in the car today. And: Um, his next song may be called "Smash." [TMZ]
• Madonna's new daughter Mercy was flown to London of the weekend. [People, NY Daily News]
• "Eliza Manyoza, a banana vendor in Malawi's colonial-era capital Zomba, says she has never heard a Madonna song. She only knows the American pop icon as an "adopter" of orphaned children. 'I am told she is a nice woman who wants to help our children.'" [Breitbart]
• Anna Faris married Chris Pratt in Hawaii on Saturday. In the photograph, Pratt is wearing, tight, star-spangled flag-inspired swim trunks. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan has a new tattoo that the paparazzi can't read, even though they zoomed in on her arm as she arrived at Samantha Ronson's house in L.A. But actually, the big mystery in these photographs? LL's choice of hideous shoes. [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan's new show with Ryan Seacrest is all about giving people on the wrong track a second chance. [TMZ, NY Daily News]
• "Jon on Father's Day: 'I Don't Know' Where Kate Is." [People]
• Is Jon Gosselin moving to NYC? [NY Daily News]
• Was Perez Hilton assaulted by Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas? And if so, why did Perez use Twitter as a means of alerting the cops? Wouldn't a phone be quicker? [Digital Spy, TechCrunch]
• Will.I.Am has a video response, in which he says Perez was rude to Fergie and called Will a "faggot," and then fans went crazy. [Dipdive]
• A play-by-play of Evan Rachel Wood at a trapeze lesson. [The New Yorker]
• One of the cops who is under investigation for breaking into the home of the woman acting as a surrogate for Sarah Jessica Parker originally said he was trying to sell stuff to the National Enquirer, but now he says: "I'm not exactly sure. If the National Enquirer didn't have anything to do with this, then I publicly apologize." [TMZ]
• By the by, Sarah Jessica Parker has a new car but doesn't know how to turn the lights on. [Page Six]
• If Victoria Beckham had her breast implants reduced or removed so that she could be in Vogue, it's just another testament to the power of Anna Wintour. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Back on? [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William shopping for a "Malibu honeymoon pad"? [Daily Express]
• When Prince William and Kate Middleton booked a vacation house, they used the names Mr. and Mrs. Smith. [Telegraph]
• Prince Harry's been hanging out with ex Chelsy Davy. [The Sun]
• Kanye and Amber are still "very happy and affectionate." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Foxy Brown was "pampered" during her stay at Rikers Island — she got meals in her cell, makeup and unlimited TV and phone use. [NY Post]
• Joel Madden says Nicole Richie's second pregnancy is "a lot easier" than the first: "You've already been through it and it's not as intense and dramatic. We're a little more relaxed. It's actually kind of nice." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne is working on a book called Fierce: "It's about all the major things girls go through before they turn 21," she explains. "It's 16 chapters where I explain what I did and where I went wrong, and then I offer professional advice on how to do things differently." Noted. [WWD]
• Here's a Father's Day column penned by Nicole Kidman, who says: "My father, Anthony, is a very good and decent man. He's Catholic, and he has a strong set of values based on religion, but which really come down to being a good person, being tolerant of other people, and doing unto others what you would wish them to do to you." [Daily Mail]
• Rachel Bilson is so close to Hayden Christensen's family, his grandmother calls her "my future granddaughter." [Page Six]
• Dennis Quaid and his wife have agreed to a $500,000 settlement with the hospital that nearly killed his newborn twins by overdosing them with blood thinner. [USA Today]
• Cloris Leachman filmed a guest spot for Jada Pinkett Smith's new show, Hawthorne: "I was a patient. I threw a bedpan at her. It was a very emotional part. I used the bedpan to show my feelings. I made use of it. I didn't USE it. Haha." [NY Mag]
• In this column for the Daily Fail, Simon Cowell writes about Britian's Got Talent: "I didn't get into show business to make little children cry or upset a nice lady like Susan Boyle… But the question remains: should we have done things differently?" [Daily Mail]
• From an interview with Emily Blunt: "When I mention [former love Michael] Bublé's name, I am treated to a stare that is so glacial it could freeze an ant at 500 paces. Is she seeing anyone at the moment? 'Weirdly enough, I'm going to pass on that. You know, apparently I'm seeing everyone. I think someone said I was dating Anne Hathaway in a story recently.'" [Guardian]
• In this article, Betty White and The Proposal director Anne Fletcher have tea and it turns into a "gigglefest." [NY Times]
• David Duchovny and Téa Leoni: Still in love. [People]
• Oh, crap: Peaches Geldof has been studying Scientology for nine months. [Mirror]
• "It's not really an internship. I'm just there for two weeks to see how it works," she said. "I'm listening to the editors, seeing what the fashion department does, what marketing does, what the photo department does. It's all over the place. "Everything is interesting… I really like the fashion department." — Tallulah Willis on her stint at Harper's Bazaar. [NY Mag]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want Washington, D.C. to pay attention to their campaign to fight childhood obesity, especially among Latino kids. [US News & World Report]
• Kathy Hilton says she's not sad that her daughter Paris and Doug Reinhardt broke up: "Doug was riding Paris' coattails." [E!]
• Cristiano Ronaldo says of hanging out with Paris Hilton: "She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. I am a young man and Paris a young lady, and us talking in a club is just what normal people our age do." [The Sun]
• Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves: Expecting baby number two. [People]
• Twilight's Ashley Greene says she is not dating Adrian Grenier — they were just attending the same surfing event. Ashley says: "It's kind of annoying sometimes because I have been linked to so many guys, but I have been single forever!" [Us Magazine]
• Behind the scenes of the new Harry Potter movie! [Guardian]
• There are three country stars in bikinis on the cover of Shape and one of them, LeAnn Rimes, talks about being accused of stalking by Ediie Cibrian's wife: ""I feel like people are looking and pointing at me…" [People]
• Congrats to Rachel Griffiths, who recently gave birth to a baby girl, her third child. [People]
• Duran Duran: Working with Mark Ronson. [The Star]
• Mark Ronson and Perez Hilton have had a falling out, and Perez admits he is "petty." [Daily Express]
• Looking for a cute anecdote about Robert Redford and Paul Newman? Click the link. [Daily Express]
• "It is exactly the same - it doesn't make a difference whether it is a woman or a man. It is about a passionate relationship, it is good, intense and quite an unusual story." — Eva Greene, on playing a boarding school teacher who seduces one of her female students in upcoming film Cracks. [Mirror]
• "People think cameras follow you 24/7. It's really not like that. We have set hours, set days, just like any scripted show." — Denise Richards, on It's Complicated. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Q: Are there any women you would get it on with? "Agyness Deyn. She's a little punk-rock Lolita. Beautiful face, beautiful shoulders. I look at her and think, 'Ooh, I'm so turned on. What's happening?'" — Katy Perry. [Times Of London]
• "I would argue that as culturally diverse as L.A. is, and it's one of the most diverse places on the planet, it is shockingly segregated. And that's why I love New York so much and, on one level, San Francisco. You step out your door and you're swept up in a sea of humanity whether you want to be or not. You can stay in your car in L.A. and avoid anyone you want to." — Benjamin Bratt. [LA Times]
• "There are enough reality-TV stars out there who clearly want attention and fame. I personally don't think they know what they're getting into, but it's a very human instinct. I never wanted to be famous. I just wanted to act. So it's very odd. Here I am doing something that's a real actor thing to do and I'm being treated like a celebrity. I was going to take this year off from being a celebrity!" — Anne Hathaway, who is doing Shakespeare in the Park. [NY Mag]
• "She is there every waking moment of my life. It's always something. Things happen to me every single day. I will be in a tiny café and suddenly a version of "Over The Rainbow" will start to play." —Lorna Luft, on her mother, Judy Garland. [Daily Express]
• "Don't get me wrong — I am thankful for a round of antibiotics or surgery when necessary but I have been helped tremendously by the practices [of acupuncture and cupping] that help the body heal itself. When implemented by a professional with experience, the benefits can work wonders." — Gwyneth Paltrow's been flinging GOOP. [Daily Express]
• "Children have always responded to me because I have that cartoon-character look. I'm over-exaggerated and my voice is small and my name is Dolly and I'm kind of like a Mother Goose character. So I think that it's going to be a fun thing." — Dolly Parton, on her children's book, I Am A Rainbow. [Time]

• Robert Pattinson was grazed by a taxi cab in New York while running across the street to get away from hysterical fans. The cab only hit him in the hip and he was uninjured.

• The bodyguard next to him yelled, "You see what you did, you almost killed him!" at the fans. [Radar Online]
• Robert Pattinson was reportedly out on a date with two woman earlier this week, because obviously he could not have been just spending time with two female friends. "One of the two women Rob was with was definitely Camilla Belle, one of his 'rumored' girlfriends," said a source. "The other I only caught a quick glance of — and it could have been Emilie De Ravin but I can't swear to it. She was blond and beautiful." [Radar Online]
• TLC has started running commercials for a special episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 that will air on Monday. The ad, which you can watch at the link, says, "Jon and Kate Gosselin have an announcement." And Kate says in a voice over, "Recently, we've made some life-changing decisions - decisions that will affect every member of our family, ones that we hope will bring each of us some peace." [People]
• A source confirms Jon and Kate Gosselin will announce that they are divorcing. Another says they've agreed to separate by July 15. They say Kate has already met with a divorce lawyer. [Radar Online]
• Carrie Prejean's lawyers have sent a letter to the Miss California USA organization saying she was wrongly terminated and will sue unless they "retract the defamatory statements" made about her. [Extra]
• Barry Carpenter, the Ohio police chief being investigated for allegedly breaking into the home of Sarah Jessica Park and Matthew Broderick's surrogate, told a radio station he has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Carpenter says he was driving past the home when he noticed the front door was open, so he went in to make sure everything was OK. Then he met with a National Enquirer reporter who was snooping around in town to "mess with him and jerk him around." [TMZ]
• Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka, his partner of five years, are selecting a surrogate mother to carry their baby. They are using the same agency as Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. [Star]
• Lou Ferrigno, former star of The Incredible Hulk is training Michael Jackson in preparation for his comeback concerts in July. "Lou and Michael have known each other for a long time," says Ferrigno's wife Carla. "Lou first trained Michael 15-years ago." [People]
• Cher has released a statement about her son Chaz Bono's sex change. "Chaz is embarking on a difficult journey, but one that I will support," she says. "I respect the courage it takes to go through this transition in the glare of public scrutiny and although I may not understand I will strive to be understanding. The one thing that will never change is my abiding love for my child." [People]
• Tyra Banks' stalker, Brady Green, was sentenced today to one year of probation, barred from contacting Tyra for two years, and ordered to complete and anti-stalking court. Tyra was not present in court. [NY Post]
• Britney Spears was originally supposed to stay at an unnamed hotel in Dublin, but after the management refused to install a steel pole in her room so she could continue practicing her pole dancing workouts she moved to the Four Seasons. [The Evening Herald]
• Alexa Ray Joel says she wasn't surprised when she found out Billy Joel was divorcing his wife Katie Joel. "I have a pretty good woman's intuition, so I could tell," said Alexa. "I know my dad very well... He's a strong man. He'll get through this, and I'm going to help him." [People]
• Kanye West and Amber Rose are back on. [Perez Hilton]
• Usher said he doesn't want people to assume that he's in a bad place because he's getting divorced. "If there's any turmoil I think it's managing all of it, but having an incredible team that helps me do that it makes it very easy, or easier than it would normally be attempting to do it myself," he said, adding, "What I do is, I try to get [my work] done and get home on the weekends if possible ... but when I'm with my boys it's just all about them." [Entertainment Tonight]
• The Austrian media is going nuts over speculation that Sacha Baron Cohen's character in Bruno is actually based on Austrian TV host Alfons Haider. He says, "I never understood the comparison to myself at all. The only comparisons I can think of is that I'm Austrian, I'm gay, and I work for television, but the rest is completely fiction." [TMZ]
• Megan Fox has defended her comments about smoking pot saying, "I wouldn't call it recreational drug use... that makes me sound like I'm going into clubs and using cocaine... I talked about the legalisation of marijuana, which I think in the United States it should be. If alcohol is legal, I just think marijuana should be, that's all." [The Star]
• Though a spokesman for the Tony Awards said that Bret Michaels was knocked out by a falling prop at the show when he "missed his mark," Michaels says, "I didn't drop my microphone or slip on a banana peel. I got blindsided … This was a real accident. This wasn't a gag gone wrong." [USA Today]
• A cast member was injured while filming a battle scene for Ridley Scott's remake of Robin Hood. Medics were called in to treat him and there's no word on his condition. [The Daily Mail]
• Delta Burke is in a wheelchair because she slipped in a hotel bathroom and injured her back. She said, "I felt myself falling and I didn't want to hit my head on the toilet because I did not want 'toilet bowl' in my obituary listed anywhere." [Extra]
• British TV host Fearne Cotton will spend two weeks with Scarlett Johansson for a new show about Hollywood lifestyles. Paris Hilton and Peaches Geldof will appear on other episodes. [The Sun]
• Jack Tweed, husband of the late Jade Goody, was snubbed by R.Kelly at a London nightclub. On onlooker reports, "'They said that Jack had been invited into the VIP area to see R. Kelly. But the bouncer did not recognise him and told him that he couldn't get in. When Jack's mate told the bouncer who he was, the guy on the door said, "It doesn't matter who he is, he still can't come in." [The Daily Mail]
• Jani Lane, lead singer of 80's hair band Warrant, was arrested for misdemeanor DUI traffic accident last night in L.A. He is currently being held on $30,000 bail. [TMZ]
• Woody Allen said he'd like French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy to star in one of his films. "I'm sure she would be wonderful. She has charisma, and she performs, so she's not a stranger to an audience, and I would cast her in many different ways," he said. "I don't have a story at the moment, but you know, maybe even I'll ask her, if she's interested." [Yahoo]
• In the video at the link, Ethan Zohn of Survivor: Africa discusses the medication he has to take to treat his Hodgkins Lymphoma. "The chemotherapy knocks me down, so I've gotta take all this stuff to boost me back up," he says. [People]
• Liv Tyler got into a screaming match with an elderly woman in Los Angeles after she saw the woman shouting at a baby crying in its stroller. She checked on the child and threatened to call the police. [The Daily Mail]
• Ashton Kutcher is urging the U.S. government not to intervene in Iran, not that anyone asked him. He Tweets: "Considering how well fighting 4 freedom in Iraq went, I dont know that we should B jumping in2 this Iran deal. I think that truly the only people that can change things in Iran are the Iranians themselves and they seem to be speaking their minds now." He also told other Twitterers that they should change their IP address to make it look like they are in Tehran to confuse Iranian officials. [The Daily Express]
• NeNe Leakes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta says of the fighting on The Real Housewives of New Jersey over Danielle Staub's past, "For someone to criticize someone about something they've done in their 20s is absolutely bananas. Who hasn't made a mistake while they were in their 20s? Everyone had! Most people do things that they are not proud of when they are in their 20s. I've made mistakes. So have Teresa, Dina, Caroline and Danielle. Honey, I hope they don't pull apart my closet from when I was 21. There's a lot of stuff up in there." [E!]
• Janet Hubert, who played Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel Air has written a tell-all memoir in which she lashes out at Will Smith. She writes, "Smith had people around him who made sure no one outshone him. I was happy to see Don Cheadle become the quality actor that he is, and often wondered how he made it past one episode, as Hilary's boyfriend, being such a fierce actor. No one could be on The Tonight Show, that first season, except Will. And I mean no one." [Just Jared]
• Heather Locklear was spotted a few times last week wearing a diamond ring, sparking rumors that she and Jack Wagner are engaged. A few night later the ring was gone. "She's in it for the long haul with Jack. Their friends know their future is together," says a friend of the couple, who explains that they're planning to get married, "But they're not officially engaged." [People]
• Price William is hinting that he would like to go to war like his brother, Prince Harry. "In my eyes, if Harry can do it then I can do it," William said. "I didn't join the forces to be mollycoddled or treated any differently." He added that while many say it's impossible for him to be on the front lines, "I still remain hopeful there's a chance." [People]
• Lindsay Price says boyfriend Josh Radnor's best qualities are that, "He's very thoughtful, and he's very good at giving gifts," adding, "He's the light in the dark space." [People]
• Anna Friel says that for her role as a prostitute named Dee in the BBC show The Street she met a real prostitute. "She taught me that when she's at work she puts her mind into a different place," she said. "She absents herself. I didn't have a sex scene as Dee - you didn't need to see that. But I got the sense from the woman I met of the prostitute's disregard for men. In a sense, the woman has power over the man, she manipulates the situation and is in charge of how it goes... The piece is saying that, while prostitution is never the answer, people should not get too judgmental about women who have to go down that path." [The Independent]
• Bridget Marquardt says she's not surprised that Kendra Wilkinson is pregnant because she knew she wanted to start a family soon, "But I definitely thought Holly would be the first." She added, "[Kendra] actually has a little bit of a baby bump. She thinks she…looks fat," she said with a laugh, "but I know she's not." [E!]
• Josh Duhamel says he knew Fergie was "the One" because of advice his dad gave him. "My dad once told me to find someone who sees things optimistically," he says. "It was just the consistency of how my wife dealt with things. I knew how she'd deal with adversity." [People]
• Chace Crawford says he's even more honored to be named People's Hottest Bachelor now that he's considered the competition. "Me and my friends are flipping through and Access Hollywood, they're like x-ing out the other guys. When they're x-ing out [George] Clooney, that's when it hit me. I go, 'Wow, that feels pretty surreal,'" he adds, "It's such a big deal. It's funny I didn't really realize how massive [it] was going to be." Does Chace realize that "hottest bachelor" isn't actually as competitive as "sexiest man alive?" [People]
• John Krasinsky says that Sam Mendes made him and Maya Rudolph film their sex scene on the first day of shooting Away We Go to break the ice. "We were both really, really nervous and one of the reasons why I wear my glasses throughout the movie and never take them off is because I was so nervous under the covers that when I popped out I still had the glasses on," says Krasinsky. "I didn't have the wherewithal to see what the hell was going on. I popped out and Sam was like, 'Cut, that was ridiculous.' I said, 'I know I'm really sorry.' And (he) was like, 'No we're gonna keep it.' From then on I wear my glasses in bed for the character because I was terrified being under the covers." [The Daily Express]
• Evan Rachel Wood says even though her relationship with Marilyn Manson is over she appreciates that he helped her find her dark side. She says, "I would want to do something really dark or vintage or over-the-top for an award show, but my people would be like, 'It makes you look old, let's keep you young and fresh and light and fluffy.' And I hadn't gotten my voice yet, so I was just like, 'OK, you're right, I suck, I'll wear what you say.' But then I met [Manson], and I found somebody who appreciated all those things about me that I thought were wrong. He liked the music I liked, the way I dressed, the people I hung out with. I was raised thinking that a relationship like that was just completely wrong. But I can't choose who I fall in love with, and I'm not going to not do something that makes me happy just because people disapprove. It seemed natural to us and that was all that mattered." [The Daily Express]

[Saitama, Japan. May 30. Image via Getty.]

Suu Kyi is the daughter of Aung San, a revolutionary who helped Burma win its independence from Britain ("Burma" is the name used by opposition groups to refer to the country now officially known as Myanmar). She has spent 13 of the last 19 years in some form of custody, due to her pro-democracy activism and helped found the National League for Democracy, which won in a landslide in Burma's 1990 general election (the ruling military junta nullified the results). Suu Kyi, who was voted Prime Minister, was already under house arrest at the time, for giving speeches and campaigning for democracy after a ban on political gatherings. Her continued nonviolent campaigning won her the Nobel Peace Prize in 1991.

The latest change in Suu Kyi's status comes as a result of the American John William Yettaw, who reportedly swam across a lake, snuck into Suu Kyi's home, and stayed there for two days. He had tried to visit her once before, in 2008; both times, she told him to leave, but this time he refused. Yettaw's stepson says he "is harmless and not politically motivated in any way." No one knows what does motivate him, but Suu Kyi's lawyer Kyi Win doesn't much care. "Everyone is very angry with this wretched American. He is the cause of all these problems," he said. "He's a fool."

Burma's junta, which took power in 1988 after a bloody uprising, says that by allowing Yettaw's visit Suu Kyi violated Article 22 of the Law Safeguarding the State from the Danger of Subversionists (aka Scary Totalitarian Rule No. 1). The National League for Democracy, however, says she has violated no law. Many speculate that Yettaw's intrusion is merely an excuse for the junta to extend this particular round of detention for Suu Kyi, which began in 2003. Sein Win, Prime Minister of Burma's opposition government-in-exile, said, "It is nothing more than a political ploy to hoodwink the international community so that it can keep (Suu Kyi) under lock and key while the military maneuvers its way to election victory on 2010."

Aung San Suu Kyi To Be Put On Trial [Guardian]
3RD: Myanmar's Suu Kyi Charged Over Detained American's Visit [Breitbart]
Suu Kyi To Stand Trial Again Over US Visitor [Independent]
Suu Kyi Charged With Violating House Arrest [Independent]

• Synth! Dance beat! Breathy vocals! It's Lindsay Lohan's new track, "Bossy." And guess what? It doesn't totally suck. "Stop touching me without permission," she sings. "I'm jut a little bossy. If I want it, I get it — Now." Ha! Like that fur coat? But is the song as good as Kelis's "Bossy"? Well, LL's track was written by Ne-Yo. Lemme know what you think. I may have to listen again. And Again. And then one more time, with rollerskates on. I'm so embarrassed. [People]
  
• Meanwhile: Lindsay's dad Michael is pissed that the Mingling Moms named ex-wife Dina a "Top Mom." He says: "Are you kidding? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling 'Oh, [bleep],' when she saw the paparazzi." Meanwhile, Dina says: "He's on a mission to destroy me." Wow, this kind of stuff must be great for the kids to hear. [Page Six]
  
• So Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon spill all their wedding details to People, including the fact that they get along because they are 'both eternally 12 years old" and Mariah now has a "Mrs. Cannon" tattoo. [Yahoo News]

• Yeah, Amy Winehouse was arrested yesterday after video of her smoking crack and snorting cocaine made its way to police. [Rush & Molloy]
• But! Amy has already been released. She was not charged. [Reuters]
• Funnyman Craig Ferguson is writing a memoir! America On Purpose, due out next year, will touch on his addictions to drugs and booze, failed suicide attempt and career as a punk rocker. Raise your hand if you'd love to hear him read it to you. That accent! [Page Six]
• George Clooney was at the Hearst building yesterday for an Esquire photo shoot and women lost their freaking minds. [Page Six]
• After the Costume Institute gala, Jay-Z and Beyoncé — still in her ballgown — knocked on the door of a just-closed burger joint and ordered cheeseburgers and fries to go. [Page Six]
• Ashlee Simpson's boobs are big so she must be pregnant, right? "It's probably just a great bra, like any girl's secret," says her rep. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper DMX was arrested for driving 114 mph in a 1966 Chevy Nova. Y'all gonna make him lose his mind up in here. [TMZ]
• R. Kelly's lawyers have filed a motion to delay his trial... again. It's been five years already. [TMZ]
• "It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book ... It speaks to her true character." — Star Jones. [TMZ]
• Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee's divorce is proceeding; Russell is seeking joint custody of their two daughters. Both parties are asking the court to deny spousal support for the other since they each have more money than they know what to do with. [People]
• Brooke Shields is "starring" in a new campaign from Royal Velvet towels. Think of her when you shower. [Brandweek]
• Nicole Richie says: "Joel actually changes more diapers than I do. It's his time with her. He sings to her .... He laughs with her, plays with her. It's amazing." [People]
• Who is Minnie Driver's baby daddy? Minnie hints that he is English and "sort of in the same business." OMG what if it's Eddie Izzard??? [People]
• Does Katherine Heigl want to leave Grey's Anatomy? A source says, "She's working really long hours and is ready to move on." [MSNBC]
• A portrait of Heath Ledger has won a top Australian art prize. [Reuters]
• Wil.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas says that staying away from the Beijing Olympics because of China's human rights record and crackdown on protesters in Tibet is a mistake. "America is talking out of both sides of its mouth," he says. "I know that everything I buy in America says 'Made in China' on it. So for me to just say, 'Yeah, that's right, boycott China' ... you're talking out of both sides of your mouth." [CNN]

Here's the thing: as someone who's been clinically depressed before, I can say without reservation that depressed people are fucking terrible to be around. They're whiny and boring and terrifically self-involved. Obviously it's their illness talking and depressed people should be treated with care and affection by their friends, but when you're reading a memoir, you're essentially hanging out with the narrator for 300 some odd pages. Unless these women are fantastic writers or have something revolutionary to say on the subject of X-chromosome blues, I imagine these books are going to be a painful slog. Just reading Merritt's piece in the Observer was an exercise in cliché and canned facts. "I couldn't cope with the smallest decisions," Merritt writes. "Often I didn't eat because the effort of deciding what wanted and then preparing it seemed as daunting as running a marathon." I'm not trying to belittle Merritt's depression, but her writing — that marathon metaphor? — is about as innovative as Wonder Bread. Not to mention the fact that she spends several paragraphs talking about the over-prescription of Prozac and other SSRIs, which was news in like, 1997.

I'll reserve final judgment until I read these books in their entirety, but in the meantime if you want to read a truly brilliant memoir of madness, check out Sophie's Choice scribe William Styron's Darkness Visible. If any of these new crop of bummermoirs comes even close to Styron's beautiful despair, I'll eat my hat.

A New Plague Facing Women [Guardian]

Earlier: <a href="http://jezebel.com/gossip/sigh/elizabeth-wurtzel-hot-crazy-depressive-genius-writer-slut-is-now-40-316249.php

Elizabeth Wurtzel, Hot Crazy Depressive Genius Writer Slut, Is Now 40">Elizabeth Wurtzel, Hot Crazy Depressive Genius Writer Slut, Is Now 40

Do Antidepressants Really Ruin Your Love Life?