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Why I (Don't) Want A Wife

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sybann
06/24/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
I've said the same thing. Perhaps we should be saying "I want a Donna Reed." Would that pacify those that see using the descriptive noun offensive instead of humorous (which almost everyone would admit was the intention)?

Oh. And she can wear sweats and flip flops.
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SomeAuthorGirl
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
That makes me want to vomit. What gets me about it is that I feel as though I'm supposed to be somehow inferior as a woman because I can't get that sort of shit done. I can earn like the dickens, and even make sure the house isn't a total chaotic mess, but put on something cutesey and decorate for parties? Fuck off. This isn't cute. This is perpetuating a myth for the sole purpose of trying to make women feel like shit.

Now, if someone tried to sell me Totally Awesome Occasional Helper To Overworked Single Hipster Parent services? That I would probably buy.
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mommy_dearest
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
I'm kind of surprised by the responses that just think it is cute. I imagine some straight interior decorator setting up a business called "Occassionally Gay" because, you know, gay people are good at decorating. How cute would that be?

My boss often refers to her nanny as her wife because the nanny does all the domestic chores for her. She is a feminist, yet she sees no problem with perpetuating anti-female stereotypes, just like people here are doing.
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greengrey
06/23/09

@mommy_dearest: Gay is a sexuality. "Wife" is not. "Wife" is a choice. Gay is not.
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mommy_dearest
06/24/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): Relevant how? You don't have to get married, therefore it is fine to equate millions of women with servitude?
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Skellatrix
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
I'd like an Every-So-Often Mrs. Doubtfire.
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Lymed
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
Why does somebody running errands for me have to be in heels? I love heels, but they really aren't good for your feet or your back, which is why I don't wear them when I'm taking care of the house.
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JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing!
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
Or how about better work-life balance, or more affordable childcare? Or, at least, some new words?

NO LIFE WITHOUT WIFE!
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SomeAuthorGirl
06/23/09

@JessicaLovejoy: Laughing, riding, cornholing!: I fucking love that movie!
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somuch
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
I'm so not bothered by this. I've seen ads for "rent a husband" or "husband for a day" services. Basically, handyman stuff. I suspect anyone wanting a handyman would be sorely disappointed to receive my actual husband's services. He's a great guy, really, I wouldn't trade him in a for a handyman, but he's certainly not handy, man.
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RubyPenelope
06/23/09

@somuch: I also thought of the rent of a husband thing but it does annoy me. It's just as obnoxious and implies that if your husband isn't doing these handy things then he isn't a real man or something.
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LaFemme
06/23/09

@somuch: Ha, yeah in my family, my mother tackles the toilet plumbing and all household related "handyman" tasks; my father can't hammer in a nail without a visit to the ER. If she can't do it, well then someone is phoned, be it a professional or a friends husband. I am quite handy myself after years of living alone, but when in doubt, male or female, call in a professional, that is what they are there for- I do not give a shit if a future partner has any knack for fixing things.
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debo matar la zombi goldberry83
06/24/09

@RubyPenelope: It also suggests that, as a woman, I couldn't possibly fix my own crap. I am handy as all hell - in my last apartment, I not only fixed my roommates' stuff all the damn time, our (male, and happily, super-hot) neighbours would come over and get me whenever they needed any sort of practical work done.
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Brenda Dickson's Vagine
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
I would settle for just having the sham wow guy come over periodically to clean up all my messes.
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Samanthrax
06/23/09

@Brenda Dickson's Vagine: That could lead to relationshits.
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Bgirl_Hamster
06/23/09

@Brenda Dickson's Vagine: Are you getting this camera-wife?
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KiddyKat
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
Words I will not use to describe myself if I ever get married: bride, wife, and the spanish "esposa" which literally means "handcuff"
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Laulau
06/23/09

@KiddyKat: Does it really? I assume it comes from the same Latin route as the English spouse and the French epouse, but I don't really know any Latin.
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KiddyKat
06/23/09

@Laulau: it probably does share the same root but it still mean handcuff. I have no idea what that's about.
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Alys Brangwin has a huge talent
06/23/09

@KiddyKat: Scherzo! Broma! The Spanish language has a sense of humor. "Trash" is also feminine. So is dick. Yet I'm not laughing.
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Ailatan
06/23/09

@KiddyKat: exactly I say "mujer" since when they marry you they say "Los declaro marido y mujer" I hate "esposa/o" I only use "marido" or just his name, people don't need titles.
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greengrey
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
Eh. It's cute/funny. I've always joked about how I want a "wife". Does we see articles often enough that talk about how wives generally DO end up doing those things?
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femputer
06/23/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): Agreed. And yeah, I definitely picked up a business card at my salon for a "husband for hire." Flipped it and it was still funny.
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Laulau
06/23/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): No kidding on the tasks that wives end up doing. One time my stepmom was out of town and my dad called my mom (they've been divorced for 13 years or so) to get a friend's phone number. He's a great guy, but he's so trained to have his wife do the social work, I don't think it occurred to him just to look at his phone book.
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CherriSpryte
06/23/09

In reply to Why I (Don't) Want A Wife
I don't want a wife. I want a house-elf.
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andBegorrah
06/23/09

@CherriSpryte: I want an animal familiar or a domovoi. They're so cute - and tidy!
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Alexis
06/23/09

@CherriSpryte: What? I'm calling S.P.E.W. !!!
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CherriSpryte
06/23/09

@Evlsushi: I would treat it well! It could call me a barmy old codger as much as it wanted! I just want someone small and magical to do my laundry and make me soup.
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chancentrate
11/04/08

In reply to
Aside from the whole argument about whether something which is intrinsically oppressive can be used in a positive way - what I've never understood is why so many muslims translated "covering a womans beauty" as covering her hair? Are men really that turned on by hair??
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AbJams
11/03/08

In reply to
I took a course on Women in Islam last semester, and seriously like, 90% of the class was spent talking about Hijab, and it is so much more complicated and nuanced than most people think. It is not jsut about averting the male gaze, that is only one part of it. What I thought of alot in that class was that if I wore Hijab, I would feel naked. And that is how women who choose to wear Hijab feel without it.it isn't just about men, it's about a woman's relationship with her God... OMG I cannot make this post come out right because I want to fit 16 weeks of course work into this little box! AAAAAH!
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noasalira
11/03/08

In reply to
Dressing in revealing clothing does not represent liberation, particularly in places where many women have been socialized to view their worth in terms of how much attention their legs, breasts, hair, botoxed-face, etc. can attract from men. It is some deeply disturbing anti-feminist trick to convince women that the more they adhere to sexist, porn'ish images of women, the more liberated they are. Let's not presume that an uholy fixation on the latest fashions, emulate whatever the current pop start/actress is wearing, is the mark of a 'liberated' woman.

Of course, women who spend great time on their appearance to attract men and gain the envy of women (or vice versa, depend on your predilections), are amazed, even offended, that a woman could ever reject such a focus. Some women value a modest appearance, some women value a naked-Britney appearance, some women are in between.
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bandit a la mode
11/03/08

In reply to
I don't like to show a lot of skin by default, but it was windly the other day and I had just done my hair so I wrapped a keffiya around my head (not the same as a hijab, no woman does this) and walked to the store. My Iraqi buddy at the cigarette shop thought it was hilarious but I also got a lot of VERY angry, disturbed, confused and uncomfortable looks from people I walked by. I can only imagine the idiocy going on in their minds...

... which made me want to do it every day.
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