I remember my dad trying to do my hair for school when my mom was sick with the flu - I was probably about 6 years old and still tender-headed. He kept running up the steps to get instructions on what to do next. Came back down, pulled my hair back into a ponytail, carefully wrapped the click-clack ball around the hair (it took like 30 seconds to do that part), and then stood back in triumph.
Then the click-clack ball slid right out of my hair and onto the floor. Mom was none too happy that she had to peel her sickly self out of bed and do my hair - but she did find it amusing later.
My step-dad was one of the top wigmakers for hollywood studios, but the first time I let him cut my hair it was completely crooked. Coincidentally it was also the last time he cut my hair.
i have fond memories of my dad monitoring my baths as a kid, washing my hair, and blowing it dry. he used the old school hair dryer that was shaped like a comb. remember those? they were awesome.
I think we get all melty because when a woman can throw a baseball, it implies strength to society, since stereotypically male activities are held in higher regard. She loses no status. When a man braids hair, he is taking a hit to his masculine status out of love for his daughter, and that's admirable. Or, I've been reading my gender textbook too much.
It's not just that dad's aren't expected to do this aspect of child rearing, it is that they have never had to brush and style long hair. When we first got our long-haired, easily matted puppy, I would cringe when my husband brushed her because he would rip through the knots without trying to be gentle or hold the hair at the roots. He's getting better, but it is not like he has been doing it all his life, like me.
I think they get more kudos because it's more of a big deal, socially, for a man to do 'feminine' things than it is for a woman to do 'masculine' ones - ie. when we see a woman, say, being an aircraft mechanic, we all consider it kick-ass and cool; a man doing his daughter's hair is more likely to be mocked by his male friends. We appreciate that level of selflessness in a man, because they are usually brought-up to be more selfish than women are.
My dad stayed at home with me for most of my childhood (ages 3-9, approximately) so he always did these kinds of things for me and my sisters. I think at some point I started to refusing to let my mother do my hair for me because I decided that his hairstyles were fancier and cooler. We also used to have these awesome parties on rainy days, when there was nothing better to do- we would go to the drug store, and each of us would get to choose a 99c nail polish (including any friends we had over) and then we would proceed to do the most ridiculous manicures. Sometimes on my dad. Neon and sparkles were particularly popular colors.
@daradoodle: If my sister or I left any nail polish laying around, we would inevitably realize that my father had taken it and painted a single nail. "I wanted to see what the color looked like!"
While women do get the shit end of the equality stick I do think over the past several decades, women's roles and the expectations of what women do have been more plastic than men's, which I would argue are still more stringently structured. Women wear pants, they are CEOs, they are aggressive--we have seen women overturning or at the very least stereotypes for a while now. (This isn't to say we don't have a long ways to go.)
It's like the discussion about Mad Men the other night--when Peggy asks for an office, Sterling describes this perfectly assertive go-getting behavior as "cute," because he is not used to seeing it from a woman. I think that is what we are looking at here.
Whenever I want a laugh, I ask Boyfriend to try to put my hair in a ponytail. The end result always makes me laugh because it looks like it was done with salad tongs handled by badgers.
Last week's Modern Love nearly killed me. Nothing melts my heart like dads caring for their children. And I don't think its a matter of lowered expectations, but rather seeing men willing to ignore gender stereotypes and so-called "norms" of parental labour divisions for the love of their children.
@bellejay: I arrived at my boyfriend's house one evening to find that he was playing "beauty shop" with his 4 year old daughter. He was the subject, and she was the stylist, poking 20-some barrettes and bobby pins into his short hair while he wore a towel-cape. It was, admittedly, quite funny and cute.
@Flackette Goes Retro: My grandpa used to let me play with his hair for hours on end! We have a ton of pics of him sitting, reading a newspaper, with me combing his hair into a troll-like ‘do!
in 5th grade my mom had to go take care of my grandfather, and my dad was in charge of my waist length hair. we had the cutest braiding system where i would hold the two side sections out on either side, and he would hold the middle, and we'd keep switching hair....it worked great until my grandfather died and we went out to oregon - when my mother saw my hair she almost fainted. apparently you have to get out tangles and knots or something (who knew?) and it took like 6 hours to fix. there were talks of a fancy new (bald) hair cut!!
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Then the click-clack ball slid right out of my hair and onto the floor. Mom was none too happy that she had to peel her sickly self out of bed and do my hair - but she did find it amusing later.
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I love my dad :)
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He's easily distracted and easily reminded. So, whenever a shampoo commercial would come on I'd distract him somehow. It usually worked. :X
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It's like the discussion about Mad Men the other night--when Peggy asks for an office, Sterling describes this perfectly assertive go-getting behavior as "cute," because he is not used to seeing it from a woman. I think that is what we are looking at here.
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Daddy's Little Girl=precious, adorable, and sweet. Momma's Boy=weak and needy
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