Kelly has a mouth on her, especially when talking about what it's like to be a successful woman. “I think that people hate women. And I don’t think they like powerful women, and I think it really goes back to Salem, I really do. I think it really goes back to this concept of, you know, hysterical coming from uterus… I think that people really have to look back to Egypt, and this concept of women being in power is not a new thought. With the advent of religion, you saw the demise of the female in the godhead. In Christianity, Mary gets pregnant on her own, she doesn’t even get fucked.”

As raunchy and fantastic as that vagina monologue was, Kelly's secret plans for The Hills are really the best part about her interaction with Observer all-star Meredith Bryan. Cutrone is friends with Paul Morrissey, a former denizen of Warhol's factory. She also lives with an up-and-coming male model named Demian, though their relationship is strictly platonic. So Cutrone's brain came up with this little gem of an idea: “I was like, ‘Paul, if I get Whitney to marry Demian, will you come and direct an episode of The Hills?’ That would be the ultimate Warhol thing, right? To get fucking Paul to do an episode of The Hills would be amaaaaazing!” My brain just exploded from all the meta.

The Dark Angel Of The Hills [Observer]

Earlier: Fashion PR Lady Kelly Cutrone Is So Boss

[Toronto, June 15. Image via INFDaily.]

Star
Jamie Lynn's "baby joy turns to tears…" because her shotgun wedding to Casey Aldridge is allegedly off! Despite frequent, happy looking trips to Wal-Mart, the two teens fight all the time. Even worse, Casey is reportedly two-timing Jamie Lynn! "Casey is acting like a dog," a local yokel notes. And Casey's not the only "celebrity" behaving badly. The Hills Whitney Port is acting like a diva, showing up late to appearances and demanding trips to 7-Eleven. Even more shocking: a Whitney Port personal appearance commands $14,000. New moms Melissa Joan Hart and Jaime Pressly are gabbing about their new baby boys. Jaime ate cabbage soup six days a week and worked out two hours a day to lose her baby weight. Sounds…farty and ill-advised. Lilo hates Mary-Kate Olsen because of her friendship with Samantha Ronson, although MK is really scared of people thinking she's a lezebel. John Mayer has a touch of the OCD: since moving in with Jennifer Aniston at her hotel in Florida while she shoots Marley and Me, he has been cleaning up after her cleaning lady. Jen, who is 9 years older than John, is also featured in a spread called "Cougar Season" alongside Mariah, Ellen DeGeneres, and ur-Cougar Demi Moore. Ladies sometimes date younger men: this is not news. We are officially over the term "cougar."
Grade: D (falling asleep outside and having someone write "Dick" on your stomach in sunblock)

Us
Former jilted Bachelor star Andrew Firestone has a "Second Chance At Love," the Us cover blares. Even though ex-fiancée Jen Schefft dumped him on his keister after the show aired, Firestone has found love with a leggy blonde Serbian model named Ivana Bozilovic. You guys, it's so hard to rebound from a break-up when you're a ridiculously good-looking heir to a tire fortune. Firestone has been through so much! Not as much as breakup postergirl Jennifer Aniston. But things seem to be looking up for our formerly depressed diva! Her friends all love new boyfriend John Mayer, even notoriously tough Courteney Cox. Several preggers stars are just about ready to "pop": Gwen Stefani, Nicole Kidman, Jamie Lynn Spears, Luciana Damon (Matt's wife) and Ryan Shawhughes (Ethan Hawke's gf) are among the super pregs. Patrick Swayze has gone back to work on the forthcoming A&E series The Beast even though he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. No cancer puts Patrick in a corner! Kim Cattrall signed on to executive produce and star in a new HBO comedy, Sensitive Skin, which is about a woman rediscovering her sexuality. "Even though it's my name, and the word skin is there, it's a very subtle show," she assures Us. Mmmkay.
Grade: D- (subway smells on a 99 degree day)

In Touch
Angelina is "Pushing Brad Away!" Nooooes! Apparently Ange has violent mood swings because of all the pregnancy hormones and Brad can't deal with it. He took Maddox to the MotoGP motorcycling championship just to get the eff away from Angie. At least she's not back to her Billy Bob humping days, but allegedly Nicole Richie is back to her old bad habits, namely not eating. She's down to 95 pounds, only ten pounds heavier than her scary looking lowest point. Also back to bad habits: Brit Brit. She's back on the sauce, but still not doing drugs, though some fear that Britney's cocktail swilling might lead back down the road to cocaine corner. Also: there's some sidebar saying that Britney's boozing is causing her to have acne. WTF? Did a boob job come between George Clooney and Sarah Larson? Apparently Larson got her tatas done in May, and George wasn't happy about it. Sarah, however, is so thrilled with her new bod that she is considering posing for Playboy. Sigh.
Grade: F+ (second degree sunburn)

OK!
Aw, Shiloh is excited about Angelina's new babies! Apparently SO excited that OK! felt the need to devote four pages to the minutia of Shiloh's very existence. She has "pull-up diapers and tells Mom and Dad when she has to go to the bathroom"! She is learning to sleep alone! She puts her hands on Angie's stomach to feel the twins kick! Um, just like ANY OTHER TWO-YEAR-OLD EVER IN THE HISTORY OF LIFE. Brad Pitt might be making babies these days, but according to a "friend" of John Mayer's, Brad doesn't stack up to John in the sack. John is "Not just good, but sensational" at the sex." Jen is so appreciative that she's started glowing and wearing dresses. Or something like that. Mutiny in The Hills! Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge are brawling. There's a photo shoot with Audrina at her pool house, behind the main house where Lauren and Lo live, and apparently L.C. was pissed about it. "She was very, very mad." Audrina says. "She said it's her house. But this is my room…No she thinks I'm sneaky and shady for doing this photo shoot, yet she and her team knew about it." Dramz!
Grade: F (boob sweat on a date)

Life & Style
Katie is Tom's Prisoner. Again. Katie went to New York for four days to rehearse for her new play, All My Sons, and she never went anywhere but the hotel and the theater. She looked annoyed at a party, according to an "insider" and it's because she feels suffocated. Is John Mayer ready to be a dad? Life & Style ponders. Jen started talking about a friend's fertility treatment over dinner and John "swiftly" changed the subject. "This spinach is awesome…It's very garlicky," Mayer reportedly said. Heh. Maybe that's why Jennifer Aniston has been feuding with He's Just Not That Into You co-star, Jennifer Connelly. The cast of the film, which includes Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin, got together for a Marie Claire photoshoot, and Aniston threatened to pull out if Connelly was included. Janet Jackson looks to be "up 20 pounds" since October, and she needs to lose weight before her Rock Wichu tour in September. She plans to eat healthier and exercise more and blah blah blah.

Grade: F- (heatstroke)

• Lindsay Lohan almost didn't get to be in the new movie, Labor Pains, which starts filming Monday: The producers had trouble finding a company to insure her. But! Everything worked out. LL will play a woman who pretends to be pregnant so she doesn't get fired. She thrives on the attention she's getting despite "carrying a volleyball around on her stomach." It's supposedly funny. [Rush & Molloy]
• Nicole Richie was dancing like a wild woman with Mary-Kate Olsen in an L.A. bar, but when she saw a flash go off, she went over to the fan and deleted the photos. A source says she wasn't drunk but didn't want the pictures getting out. Sure, sure. [Rush & Molloy]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones has "lost her curves," though if she gained weight they would make fun of that, too. Ugh. [Daily Mail]
• Whitney Port of The Hills is getting her own show. Supposedly it will feature Whit as a bi-coastal babe working for People's Revolution. She always makes funny faces, but is she interesting enough to carry a spin-off? Remember how, in France, she didn't know how to pronounce Givenchy? [Pop Wrap]
• Kelly Cutrone, Whit's boss, says "I'm just worried that I'm starting to like her so much that I'm becoming too nice a character for TV." [Radar]

• Gerard Butler! Phantom Of The Opera sequel! Maybe! [JustJared]
• John Mayer and Pete Wentz hung out this week. We hear Pete got tattooed at John's house. [Pink Is The New Blog]
• Rapper T.I. has inked a three-picture deal with Screen Gems. First up, he'll be in a crime drama with Matt Dillon. And! An MTV reality show is in the works, of course. [Rolling Stone]
• 50 Cent is working on a movie about officers dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and his co-star is Val Kilmer. Fiddy and Val have bonded! And Mr. Cent gave Kilmer a 1965 Chevy Impala worth $100,000. Just because. [E!]
• NSFW pix of that nekkid dude in SATC are right here. [ONTD]
• Betty White and gorillas. [ONTD]
• Usher will never do drugs, because they killed his dad. [Mirror]
• Paris Hilton says she is not, repeat, not pregnant. You may now return to ignoring her existence. [The Sun]
• Cecily von Ziegesar, author of the Gossip Girl books, will have her first adult novels published in 2009. The first is set in a small college in Maine. [NY Times]
• Remember Vin Diesel? He and his girlfriend, model Paloma Jimenez, are parents of a new baby girl. Plus! He has another Fast and Furious movie coming out. So he's almost relevant again. [People]
• Shania Twain needs to heal her broken heart, you guys. [People]
• Did Tatum O'Neal have a nose job? [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• While we're at it, here's an older one: Did David Beckham have a nose job? [Good Plastic Surgery]
• And! Looks like Gabrielle Union also had a nose job. [Good Plastic Surgery]
• Kathy Griffin hosted Bravo's A-List Awards on Wednesday. She emerged on stage lying on a piano in a purple gown, singing, "Miley Cyrus will get a down-there virus." [Page Six]
• Is Ed McMahon on the verge of losing his home because of his "years of boozing" ? [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan's son Nick has been transferred out of solitary confinement and into a cell with three other juneniles and a TV. Think he wants to watch Hogan Knows Best? [TMZ]
• In this video, hot hottie Jason Statham gets the paparazzi off his back by making them think they've stepped in dog crap. Cheeky chap! [TMZ]
• Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff: It's over. Karina's rep says "The relationship wasn’t heading in the right direction." Where were they going? South? [People]
• Heather Mills barked at people who were talking while she tired to give a speech about puppy mills. "Listen up in the back! I haven't been up for 24 hours and flew here from London to be ignored!" [Page Six]
• Bruce Willis is opening a bar in downtown New York and the locals are not happy, calling him one of those "right-wing Republicans" who is "opening yuppie wine bars in our neighborhood." [Page Six]
• Coolio: Makes money performing for Russian billionaires in Moscow? [Page Six]
• Melissa Joan Hart is not against doing some kind of sexy photo shoot, but, she says, "I'm not in a hurry to show my not-so-thin ass out there right now." Don't be so hard on yourself! [Page Six]
• Man, also trashing her own figure is Angela Kinsey of The Office: She just had a baby! And she's due at an awards show on Sunday. She says, "I definitely do not feel red carpet ready. The ol' body has not gotten back to normal but hopefully I can find some dress that hides what I need hiding." Sigh. [People]
• Miranda Cosgrove, who has her own Nickelodeon show and was in School Of Rock, has a music career. Is she the new Miley Cyrus? Listen and judge for yourself. [People]
• Movies like The Hulk are rated PG-13, but advertise during TV shows for little kids. Probably so the rugrats will want the toys and tie-ins. [LA Times]
• JK Rowling spoke at Harvard's commencement ceremony, saying, "We do not need magic to transform our world." It would help, though. [Yahoo News]
• "I'm the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex." — Kate Beckinsale. [The Sun]
• "It's like marrying three different people a week, because you never know who's going to come out of the bathroom. Her five- minute look is my favorite. She looks perfect unmade-up." — Gavin Rossdale on wife Gwen Stefani. [Page Six]
• "I want someone who is not only a great lover, but who is also an old soul… That is mighty hard to find. These younger guys are so shallow they don't know what I am talking about most of the time." And older men? "[They] seem to think they are riding the crest when they decide to cash in and take it easy once they have hooked up with me, which becomes a burden and a bore." — Jane Fonda. [Page Six]

The Good:

Felicity Huffman keeps it simple and showcases toned shoulders.

Gabrielle Union's little summer dress is pretty cute. She should take her hands out of her pockets, though.

Love the color and drape of Joy Bryant's dress. Beachy keen!

Love the color of Becki Newton's dress, too! Just one piece can look so chic.

Sanaa Lathan, golden girl. She looks so great in this dress I'm willing to forgive the borderline shoes.

Rachel Bilson's jacket and skirt seem sophisticated, but I'm torn on the shoes. They're sort of cool and new and different and they're sort of horrifying. I like the rest so much I'm erring on the side of Good.

The Bad:

Maria Cross: Meh. The shoes are too heavy, in my opinion. A thin-strap sandal for a more bare look might be better.

Yeah, I don't know, Mena Suvari. Part of me likes the Pat Benatar thing she's got going, the other part of me winces, because how long can we do '80s?

Amy Smart is a lovely lady, but this dress is bad. The neckline is bad, the belt is bad and I think the fabric is bad.

Is Elizabeth Banks wearing a wardrobe castoff from Sophia Coppola's Virgin Suicides?

Zoe Saldana's hemline is a gynecologist's dream.

Nicky Hiton looks awkward, like an overgrown baby doll.

I think Lost alum Maggie Grace looks pretty but the satin shorts are killing me. They're super cute if you're playing the role of Miss Adelaide is Guys And Dolls, but otherwise, no.

I like Kelly Rutherford's blouse. I like Kelly Rutherford's skirt. I love Kelly Rutherford's shoes. I do not like them all together. Maybe if the blouse wasn't quite so buttoned up and the skirt were longer? I don't know.

The Ugly:

Sophia Bush is gorgeous; this weird zippered apron dress and chunky brown shoes are not.

Oh, Whitney Port. So many trends, so little time.

[Images via FilmMagic.]

Here's another:

11:11 Haha! Mariah said, "I have enjoyed you profusely!" That woman lives by the thesaurus. But on that note, I have enjoyed this night profusely, even though I bitched in the beginning. Thanks for refreshing! I'm peacing. I've been on this computer since 7 am. DONE!

11:08 OK, now I'm gonna have to subject my dog to "We Belong Together." It might be one of my favorite songs ever. I'm not kidding.

11:03 The sound on this is all fucked up! It sounds like they don't have it patched in or whatever, and they're just picking up the sound in the venue. Also, Mimi can't hit those notes. It's weird.

11:02 Oh! Excited for Justin Bobby to return! Excited for Heidi and Audrina being chummy! Excited for more She Pratt!

10:58 Whitney says her soft g's weird, like they're k's. And I have a feeling that we're gonna be hearing a lot of her new "stylink" goals in eps to come.

10:55 Uh, who's the dude sitting behind Mimi, Lauren, and Aussie?

10:50 OK, this just got as ridiculous as it could possible get. The French dude is gonna take her around Paris at midnight on a motorcycle while she's wearing a ball gown?

10:41 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OMG, you just know that the MTV producers did that to her dress.

10:35 I am so into this girl from Yelle. She's such a spaz, I love it! She reminds me exactly of my sister when she was like 7.

10:30 Wow, this scene with Spencer and Heidi and her parents is SO awkward.

10:29 Oh boy. This ball gown altering plan is going to end very badly—as per the script.

10:25 I made my dawg sit in front of me and be my audience while I sang The Hills theme song to her and then I took pictures. Clearly she's unimpressed with me.

10:21 Two things: These dudes from the band are adorbz; and Lauren looks great in red lipstick.

10:19: LOLOLOLOLOL!!! I love that Heidi's hometown is called Crested Butte, because all I can think of is Crusted Butt.

10:18: I really love Whitney's pink dress here.

10:17 I don't know if I really understand what this ball is. I thought it was a fashion thing.

10:10 This Dove mini show thing is weird. OMG! I went on a date at the restaurant their eating in! My boss showed up (not Anna), sat down, and ate some of our lobster ceviche and then pointed out, in front of my date, that the wine that I was ordering was expensive. The food was really good.

10:09 I'm so glad that She Pratt is a regular now. What is the deal with these two? Like does Spencer feed her lines?

10:03 I'm loving Whitney's hat. Lauren is wearing that Betsey Johnson dress. That would look like maternity wear on me.

10:00 OMG! Mimi's gold jacket is very...labial.

9:59: I'm going to have to sing "Unwritten" alone. My dog always looks at me like I'm nuts when I doshit like that.

9:50 Can we just talk for a minute about these chicks modeling their outfits between commercial breaks? Why is that happening.

9:32 OK, I'm gonna go there and ask what the fuck this meebo business is? You know, not for nothing, but I do these live blogs to facilitate a convo here, and I think it's weird that some commenters agree to go somewhere else "private." Also, I'll put this out there: My ass gets money per page view. That might sound mercenary or whatevs, but it's true and I'm like, what am I doing with 2 hours of my life, off hours, not eating my cheeseburger, because I'm typing, when people aren't even hanging out here?

9:27 And since this is boring, let's keep talking about dirty stuff. What do you think Spencer and Heidi's sex life is like? They're pretty boring when they fight, so I imagine it would be similar. And she looks like a faker—a loud faker.

9:22 What do you guys think of Audrina's nudie pictures (link NSFW, duh)? Personally I think the only thing she has to be embarrassed about is the eyeshadow and the cowboy hat.

9:13 Who is this Australian chick hosting the premiere party? That's an Aussie accent, right? Also, why does Lauren always look put out about having to be interviewed or talk about the things that make her money?

9:10 @ ampg: Dude, my ex-BF used to love the theme song and we would sing it together really loudly. But he would always go, "Feel the rain on my penis!" Which I thought was so weird, because I know that he's actually never felt rain on his penis.

9:01 Um, OK, so this is just the last two episodes that their playing for this hour? I thought there would be more of the premiere party beyond a little countdown in the corner. Mainly I'm disappointed that Mariah isn't involved in this.

• Gisele appears on the cover of the April Vogue with...Lebron James. This is may seem like an historic event on par with, say, a black president, but that would belie how far we've come as a nation, revealed by the dead-first comment reacting to the news on our brother blog Deadspin: "That cover would have been much more fantastic if he had been dressed a la Andre french vogue. Oh Anna, Anna, Anna." Our take: Lebron probably exercises more influence over footwear and apparel sales than Anna Wintour and Gisele and Karl Lagerfeld combined. If Vogue really wanted to think outside the (heh) box, they'd make over Lebron's mom. [Deadspin]
  
• Christian Siriano update: found backers for his clothing line, had a fit meeting with Victoria Beckham yesterday, taping Leno tonight, and is slated for an Ugly Betty cameo. Surely nothing like this could end in anticlimax and obscurity? [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Karl Lagerfeld on the just-opened Chanel Mobile Art pavillion: "It's a building, but also an object at the same time. It's like a sculpture you can walk in." [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Reese Witherspoon is the face of the new U by Ungaro fragrance, being licensed by Avon. Do you care? You so care, don't you. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Whitney is such a follower! Ms. Port, of The Hills fame, is starting her own clothing line, Eve & A, which will show party and cocktail wear. Her daddy is producing it, natch. Who's her daddy? You know, some rich guy. Why burden yourself with the data? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Liz Claiborne is still tanking despite the best efforts (and we can only imagine laserlike focus!) of Tim Gunn. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Pacific Sunwear is also suffering. [WSJ]
• Designer Alice Temperley is preg! [Vogue UK]
• Fashion illustrator (and husband of designer Isabel) Ruben Toledo on how he started his career: "All I knew is that I wanted to paint and draw and do art and be with Isabel—she is my leading inspiration and muse. And I knew that fashion was absurd." But hey, so's the universe, right? [Fashion Week Daily]
• I wanna Paul Smith ping-pong table. [Chic Report]
• And a 10,000-square foot billboard of Djimon Hounsou in his skivvies, oh yes. [Chic Report]
• Model May Anderson is the latest not-designer to play at design: She's started a denim line called Chicks with Guns. [FabSugar]
• How to rip hair off your body using common kitchen ingredients! [BellaSugar]
• Seeing a woman say "May my new curls make her feel choked with jealousy" and "Make him dump her tonight and come home with me" does not make me want to buy hair products. [Sassybella]
• Indian designer Prashant Verma based his entire fall collection on James Dean movies. [Yahoo]
• Yeah, we're skeptical that a pair of bike shorts has the power to ensure faster muscle recovery. [Business Week]

The Good: Lauren "Lo" Bosworth looks surprisingly, well, sophisticated in this strapless cocktail dress. (I can't believe I just called Lo sophisticated.) I'm totally into Audrina Partridge's sporty-chic look: It's so 80's in all the right ways.

The Bad:
I hope LC didn't design this dress herself, because if she did, she sure ain't helping business. The proportions are weird — I can just hear Michael Kors making some nasty comment about not understanding women's bodies.
Whitney's "I'm-Not-Even-Trying" look looks like she needed to try. The length of the dress is no good on her, the leather jacket seems to severe, and the bootie mocassins just make my heart bleed.
While I commend Lisa Rinna for not wearing animal print, I frown on any dress that is so short that it makes for an automatic crotch-shot when you sit down. Also, is she looking thinner than normal?
Stephen Colletti looks like some fresh-out-of-school investment banker. In other words, he looks like a douche.
Looks like the kids wore different clothes to the show itself than to the party. (When will someone tell them that they're not actually celebrities?) I much prefer the dress Whitney wore to the runway show — seems much more her and much more polished. But ugh, is that Lauren Conrad collection Audrina's wearing? And I'm not sure I approve of Lo's homecoming court-esque red taffeta number. Also, see how Brody Jenner is sitting with hit not-ghetto hoody over his head? Mega douche.

The Ugly:
Congratulations, Ashley Jones, for sporting one of the ugliest dresses I have ever seen in my life.

[Images via Bauer-Griffin, FilmMagic]

Earlier: Lauren Conrad's Bella Collection Just As Bad As City Of Angels

L to R: Katherine wrap, $140; Jackie tube top, $42; Leggings, $48 / Jillian dress, $145 / Maura top, $85

Verdict: I like to wear leggings around my apartment. But even I wouldn't match them with a tube top; Why wear a burlap sack when you can wear a jersey sack? If your milkshake doesn't bring all the boys to the yard, you can always just show them your boobs.

L to R: Sophia dress, $145; London top, $100; Audrina dress, $150

Verdict: So when are you due? What? You're not pregnant? Sorry; Nouveau Flashdance; The poor man's Rami Kashou!

L to R: Britton top, $94; Bree tank, $75; Nicole skirt, $85

Verdict: How Contempo Casuals ca. 1993; Seriously, you can buy this but nicer at Target. Words I never thought I would say: A cheaper Amy Winehouse.

L to R: Whitney dress, $170; Natonia dresss, $150

Verdict: LC must not like Whitney very much as this is by far the ugliest look of the lot; This is probably your best bet of all the pieces, even though it cannot be worn by those with actual breasts.

• Britney Spears missed her deposition yesterday because she was freaking the fuck out. Her "friend" Sam Lufti said, "She's sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It's too much." And yet she makes it to Starbucks. [People]
  
• And Brit may call in sick again, says a source. She doesn't think it's a big deal and feels "like she didn't have to do something just because she was told." [MSNBC]
  
• Blue Christmas! Britney may not spend the holiday with her sons — Kevin Federline's lawyer is threatening to ask the judge to take away her visitation rights. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Eva Longoria's husband Tony Parker is not having an affair, says Tony Parker. [People]
  
• Liza Minnelli collapsed during a show in Sweden! She fell off the side of the stage but was caught by a technician. Don't work too hard, Miss With A Zee! [Reuters]

• Baby Spice tumbled on stage! Emma Bunton sprained her ankle at the Las Vegas Spice Girls show and is now on crutches. [Daily Mail]
• Producers were "frantically calling publicists" before Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port from The Hills went to Paris "to see if anyone knew any guys to set the girls up with ... If they had a love affair there, then it would look better," says a source. Pimpin' ain't easy! [Page Six]
• Sex And The City sequel? Maybe! "They want it to be a franchise and think they can stretch it over at least three movies," says a source. For the love of Christmas. Let it be. [Page Six]
• Janice Dickinson has a sister? And she's a model??? [Page Six]
• J.R. Rotem, the father of Britney Spears' nonexistent fetus, is a jerk, but, yeah, you knew that. [Page Six]
• There's tension on the set of Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn's new movie, mostly because she's a perfectionist and he's a slacker. [Gatecrasher]
• The scene: Fancy restaurant. The scenario: The chef sends out special dishes as a treat. Padma Lakshmi to the waiter: "Take it away! Don't you know I'm on a diet?" [Gatecrasher]
• Mario Lopez hosted a contest in Las Vegas called "Boobs or Bust," in which women competed for a $5,000 toward a breast augmentation. Classy! [Rush & Molloy, last item]
• Benjamin Bratt's nephew Kristopher was killed yesterday in San Francisco: A stolen car being pursued by police ran a red light and plowed into the 20-year-old's car. [TMZ]
• Katie Holmes on her marriage to Tom Cruise: "It has made my life." Zombie bride! [People]
• JK Rowling's parents dressed her in blue when she was little. Her sister got to wear pink but "I was supposed to be the boy," she says. [Daily Express]
• Uh, Johnny Depp may play Pee-Wee in the movie version of Pee-Wee's playhouse? So crazy it just might work. Especially if Tim Burton is on board. [MSNBC, 3rd item]
• Tara Reid's body is a mess and it's all her fault! (Botched lipo.) [Daily Mail]

[Fashionista]