Label Closures

Christian Lacroix's namesake house teetered on the brink of collapse for the better part of this year. After filing for bankruptcy in Paris this May, owners the Falic Group announced a "restructuring" plan that would see the couture house shuttered, and the Lacroix name live on only in ready-to-wear and accessories licenses. After it became known that the house of Lacroix had never turned a profit in 22 years of operation, Christian Lacroix told the press he was "too angry to cry," and that he had been working without pay for over a year.

A frenzied campaign to save the business ensued. One couture client made an offer to buy; but during the bankruptcy process, suitors like France's Bernard Krief Consulting and Italy's Borletti Group dropped out. A relative of the Sheikh of Ajman in the United Arab Emirates made a serious offer, and seemed to speak seriously of Christian Lacroix private jets and Christian Lacroix yachts and Christian Lacroix lifestyle products; for a while, it seemed all would end well, and a fantastic couture collection was shown in July despite the cash-strapped state of affairs. However, the sheikh could not provide financial assurances to the bankruptcy court, and on December 1, Falic Group's own worst-case-scenario plans were put into place. At least 100 people lost their jobs. Christian Lacroix lost the rights to his own name, and started designing uniforms for French railway workers.

Luella, the critically acclaimed and very popular British label founded in 1999 by Luella Bartley, closed less than 12 months after being named Designer of the Year at the British Fashion Awards. The distributor withdrew its backing after the Italian company that produced Luella clothing went bankrupt. Bartley said at the time that she hopes to revive the label, when the credit crunch eases.

More avant-gard designers also have not fared well this year, as perhaps might be expected. Yohji Yamamoto announced it had filed for bankruptcy protection, with debts of around $68 million, in Japan this October. (It is continuing its operations while in bankruptcy.) Belgian designer Véronique Branquinho was forced to shutter her 12-year-old line in May. New York-based Phi, founded by billionaire's wife Susan Dell and designed by Andreas Melbostad, announced it would close up shop just this week.

Photo: A model in a 2004 Véronique Branquinho show in Paris.

Jennifer Lopez has had bad luck with her clothing lines. The star founded JLO clothing in 2007, and closed it two years later. Replacement label Justweet lasted two seasons. This June, her latest effort, Sweetface, also bit the dust. Good thing she's still raking in the dough from her perfumes.

You're Fired

After rumors swirled for months, Olivier Theyskens was finally fired from Nina Ricci. His last collection included towering heel-less Gothic boots, which later turned up in an evening ensemble worn by none other than Daphne Guinness. Peter Copping was his replacement. Anna Wintour, who allegedly gasped, "How could you do this to me?" when told the news, was so upset by the whole episode that she wrote a letter from the editor about it:

Olivier Theyskens's recent departure from Nina Ricci suggests to me that the vital role of artistic talent has been obscured in the current economic climate. My staff and I were shocked to learn that Theyskens's contract would not be renewed; and I am very concerned that the business of fashion is undervaluing the most important asset our industry requires: creative visionaries. There's a reason we continue to see Theyskens's influence everywhere, from catwalks to the mall. He'll be back, but fashion must hold its nerve. This is the mission that we at Vogue happily shoulder.

Despite this ringing endorsement, by the end of this year, all we've heard of the gifted Belgian is that he's writing a book and "discussing" a "retail concept" with Tory Burch's husband.

The whole situation at the house of Ungaro this year is just Kafkaesque in its web of intricate reversals of fortune and surprise non-sequiturs. After many strenuous denials that any such move might even be considered, might even be on the table, C.E.O. Mounir Moufarrige summarily fired young Colombian designer Esteban Cortazar for failing to generate sales and buzz for the esteemed, though somewhat dusty, fashion house — and, we later learned, for refusing to work with Lindsay Lohan.

New designer Estrella Archs was brought on board — with La Lohan as her "artistic adviser" sidekick. ("It could work," said Moufarrige.) Their collection of very short, very tight, and very embellished dresses was widely panned by critics and the line was dropped by most of its U.S. distributors; Lohan later distanced herself from the decision to style the show models with heart-shaped sparkly pasties over their nipples. Then the Times of London visited her and found a disturbing scene:

The room looks like the aftermath of one of those home-alone teen parties advertised on Facebook that then gets horribly out of hand. Chaos rules. Designer clothes are strewn everywhere; most of them from a sweep of the Emanuel Ungaro boutique that Lohan made upon her arrival in Paris, walking away with an estimated £90,000 worth of free clothes. Shoes, make-up, jewellery, even a stray lampshade obscure the hotel carpet. Her passport is in here somewhere. She's been looking for it for days.

Even Ungaro himself spoke out to attack Archs and Lohan's efforts; Moufarrige denied the disastrous reception had caused any tensions, and said Lohan would stay. Then he himself abruptly quit. Stay tuned for what happens next!

That Old-Time Revival Feeling

Halston was revived. Again. This time designer Marios Schwab was chosen to helm it, and former designer Marco Zanini and stylist Rachel Zoe were ditched.

Halston book published by Phaidon


Former Valentino chief executive Matteo Marzotto and Marni chief executive Gianni Castiglioni bought the rights to the house of Vionnet in February. The clothes, when they came, were perhaps the biggest disappointment of the year. Hint to designers: There is so much you can do with Vionnet! The real Vionnet frikking invented cutting on the bias, okay? Have the temerity to at least try something daring.

Bill Blass was one of the recession's earliest casualties. The talented creative director, Peter Som, and all the other employees were fired unceremoniously just before Christmas last year; the bankrupt label was later sold, for a bargain basement price of $10 million. (In January of this year, just before his planned show at New York Fashion Week, Peter Som lost the financial backing for his own label, too.) Just this month, the new owners, Peacock Holdings, announced Jeffrey Monteiro would be taking over the designing reins. We'll see his first collection — the Times called Monteiro's clothes "nothing startling" — next winter.

Photo of a model wearing Peter Som's Fall 2008 collection for Bill Blass, the bankrupt company's most recent.


Biba. Again.

Beyond Biba documentary poster via FashionTribes


You're Hired!

Jil Sander has the unusual distinction of having been fired from her namesake label by its new owners not once, but twice. After being told her services were no longer required by Prada group owner Patrizio Bertelli for the second time, in 2004, the German designer began a long period of fashion exile. (Perhaps she had a non-compete clause to abide by.) This year, she was spotted at an industry textiles fair scouting for fabrics — and tongues started wagging. A collaboration with Uniqlo was the surprise result, and Sander's minimalist eye is now employed as the Japanese fast-fashion chain's creative director. Her second +J collection launches in the new year.

Clothing Lines Of The Stars

In 2009, everyone who was anyone got a clothing line. (Or that potentially even more remunerative consolation prize, a namesake perfume.) In the stormy waters of a recession, perhaps it's no surprise that plenty of megabrands would seek the safe harbor of a celebrity and her or his contractually obligated promotional heft.

Not one month after finally shuttering Christian Lacroix, the Falic Group announced the launch of an Eva Longoria perfume. Despite the fact that Longoria is allergic to perfume. Miley & Max Azria did a clothing line for Wal-Mart. Toby Keith sold plaid shirts; he had that much in common with the Kings of Leon. Kevin Federline announced a children's line. Mischa Barton said, of her headband line, "People want to see that you can deliver and do, like, a good job."

Richie Rich rebounded from the 2008 closure of Heatherette with an "eco-friendly" swimwear line he created with Pamela Anderson. (I actually saw the launch of this live, in New Zealand. Richie Rich rollerskated, and the runway show concluded with Anderson, clad only in a scarf, accidentally flashing the audience during her bow.) Brad and Angelina did a serpentine collection for the jewelers Asprey. It started at $525, for a baby spoon.


Whitney Port tried to get Bergdorf Goodman to buy her clothing line in the finale of The City. The Olsen twins, after a couple years hitting the top of the market with The Row and Elizabeth and James, returned to their mass tween roots with a JC Penney's collection called Olsenboye. Emma Watson said the idea of a perfume named after her made her want to vomit, but did an ethical clothing collection with People Tree. (Mischa's other line, Tree People, sadly remains hotly anticipated, at least by me.) Katie Holmes released weird jumpsuits with stylist Jeanne Yang under the label Holmes & Yang.

And I leave you with news of the strangest star collaboration of all 2009: the announcement, in June, that John Malkovich would show a line called Technobohemian at Milan's men's wear week. We may not be John Malkovich, but we can dress like him.

What will 2010 bring? This was the year of huge falls in sales and constant readjustments; 2010's shocks, coming after this raft of closures and downsizings and layoffs and consecutive quarters of declining year-on-year results will, hopefully, seem and be modest. Nobody in the fashion industry is out of the woods yet, but perhaps it's not naïve to hope that the rate of attrition should at least slow down.

The rate of stupid celebrity fashion collab debuts, however, is a trend I expect to remain strong. At least Lindsay Lohan's second collection for Ungaro should be worth watching.

• Beyoncé's first perfume, Heat, launches in February. She says, "Red is one of my favorite colors, as is gold." And the bottle is intended to look antique, because her mother had so many old perfumes when she was little. [WWD]

• Whitney Port, of The Hills/The City fame, says, of fellow fashion-designing show alums Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, "I put myself in a different sort of realm as them." Port's biggest fear with her label is "people not understanding your point of view, not being able to get it. But I think my biggest competition is myself." [WWD]
• About 200 Chanel employees picketed the company's headquarters just outside of Paris. Workers who make less than €3000 a month have been offered a 1% pay raise; instead, they would like a raise of 2.5%. [WWD]
• Charlize Theron embroidered a baobab tree on a pair of red Toms shoes for her limited-edition collaboration with the eco-friendly, ethically managed company. Ten thousand of the shoes will be distributed free to children in her native South Africa, and the profits from the $54 slip-ons will benefit Theron's charity. [People]
• According to Jimmy Choo, Madonna thinks his shoes are better than sex. "Madonna told me that buying a pair of my shoes is more satisfying than having sex with a man. At least you know they are going to last for ever!" [OK!]
• Tory Burch is growing overseas. The designer recently opened a flagship in Manila, and her first Tokyo store, which just fêted its launch, will be joined by 30 more outposts across the country over the next few years. [WWD]
• Check out the decade in Olsen style, from distressed denim and tube tops to Chloé wedges and studded Givenchy jackets, via the notorious NYU bag lady period. [Style.com]
• Ever since Barack Obama identified his wife's pin, on Oprah, as one he had purchased for her at Garavelli on their anniversary, people have been buying Garavelli jewelry like it's going out of style. [WWD]
• Lady Gaga curated a selection of goods for sale at the site Not Just A Label. You can snap up her fringed lace half hat from the video for "Bad Romance" for a surprisingly reasonable £92, should you feel the need to dress like a deranged Spanish widow from 2078. [NJAL]
• Malls in Dubai still seem busy, despite the debt crisis there. [WWD]
• Hilary Rhoda will be in next year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Friend-to-Jezebel Liz Glover recently interviewed the model and asked her about her shoot for last year's issue. "For a model, it is a major achievement and a business tactic to widen my fan base," said the Chevy Chase native, over e-mail. "I work out every day, and to have a strong body instead of something frail like in fashion magazines, that's something to look up to." Rhoda, of course, sometimes does appear in the pages of fashion magazines — she once made the cover of American Vogue. Could her athletic look gain high-fashion acceptance? We can dare to dream. [Washington Times]
• Model Jamie Bochert recently ran 12 blocks to get her purse back from a robber. Now that's an athlete. Also she is in the new Lanvin campaign. [WWD]
• Christian Siriano says his maternity line includes party dresses because, "When you're pregnant you still do the same things that you would normally do — go to events, baby showers and weddings. Not every brand does sweet, fun party dresses like this." [People]
• Says Carmen Dell'Orefice, whose name this time Page Six spells correctly: "Sympathy I don't need. Another ad campaign would be great." Dell'Orefice lost most of her fortune in Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme. [P6]
• More details have emerged about the fashion business incubator program launching soon in New York. Twelve lucky designers will be given the opportunity to rent studio space in the heart of the garment district for under market rates — around $1500 a month. The program is underwritten by a $200,000 grant from the New York City Economic Development Corporation and operated by the Council of Fashion Designers of America. The tenant designers will be announced this month. [FWD]
• Because of dismal sales, Ben Sherman is shuttering its women's line. The company earlier this year stopped making children's wear. [WWD]
• Nike's quarterly results for the period ended November 30 were only slightly down on last year's. Profits and sales at the world's largest sporting goods company each fell by 4%. [WSJ]

• Whitney Port isn't in Kell On Earth. And on Lauren Conrad: "We still keep in touch on a friendship level. But in terms of fashion we don't really talk about it anymore because we're not in the same arena." [PopEater]

• AIDS prevention is a cause dear to Carla Bruni's heart. Her brother, Virginio, died of the disease in 2006, and she told French television yesterday that working in fashion in the 1980s, the disease was omnipresent. "The fashion world was hit head-on by the AIDS pandemic," she said. "It really did lose members of its family." Bruni is now an ambassador with the Global Fund to fight AIDS, TB, and malaria, and yesterday the Elysée Palace was festooned for the first time with red ribbons. [AFP]
• A fan named Diane called in to P. Diddy's Home Shopping Network show Monday night. "I'm so nervous!" she squealed. "Don't be nervous," replied the suave object of her affections. "I wish I could just jump through the screen and give you a hug, girl." [The Cut]
• Alber Elbaz designed some sweet heart-shaped Lanvin stamps, covered with his doodles, for the French postal service. [WWD]
• Maria Sharapova would like a fashion line, just as soon as she's finished kicking everyone's asses on the court. [Reuters]
• Liberty of London is taking its gorgeous William Morris aesthetic to the masses: it's partnering up with Target. [WWD]
• John Galliano not only designed a gorgeous Christmas tree that looks right out of a Hokusai print: it will be installed at the Claridge's hotel in a constellation of 20 of his haute-couture dresses. Swoon. [Telegraph]
• If Simon Doonan wanted a crowd, he should have gone the way of XOXO's flagship, which features a rotating cast of two female models paid to dress and undress in front of a glass window on 5th Avenue. The creative director who came up with the concept, in case you're wondering, is a woman. [CNN]
• Mango inked a deal with J.C. Penney. The Spanish brand has 1,200 stores worldwide, but only 12 in the U.S., so their distribution in this country has just officially mushroomed. [Crains]
• Carmen Dell'Orefice is working on a coffee table book of photography, scheduled for release on her 80th birthday. This story is funny mainly for how the Post mangles her name. Carmen De L'Orifice, indeed. [P6]
• Jil Sander's latest jewelry collection, made with Damiani, is out. "Jil Sander, even being considered as the brand of pureness, can create a product category such as jewelry," sniffed creative director Raf Simons. Prices start at around €890 for the baubles; Jil Sander watches are coming in the spring. [Independent]
• Seamstresses and designers who were employed in Christian Lacroix's workshop were yesterday told they had lost their jobs, following the court ruling that the bankrupt house could be transformed into a licensing operation. Dressmaker Nadia Schoope said, "I didn't think it would finish like that. I can't understand how a house like Lacroix cannot draw buyers." Monika Soszynska, who worked in couture accessories, said, "It's surreal, we can't believe that it's stopping, it's not possible. I can't believe we won't be doing the next haute couture collection." [ToL]
• H&M wants to open home stores. The Swedish retailer, which has been plagued by declining sales, opened 240 stores this year. [WWD]
• Dockers thinks the tag line "Behold the second dawn of man" will move some khaki pants. Global marketing vice president Jennifer Sey tells BrandWeek about the genesis of the campaign: "We started to do some research. In today's world, men have lost a bit of footing, in part because women have come so far, but we also found a few surprising facts: Eighty-percent of those who suffered unemployment in the last year were men. Women outnumber men in the workforce now. But the most surprising fact of all was that men's testosterone levels have been dropping by a percentage point a year for the last 20 years. All these factors add to up say, 'Wow, men are struggling in today's world.'" She's not trying to sell pants with pathetic anti-feminist rhetoric, she's just trying to "inspire today's men to be men," ladies. [BW]
• Roland Mouret has a capsule collection for Net-A-Porter on sale now. The seven lovely silk dresses come in seven bright colors, and cost $1,495-$3,070. [WWD]
• The fate of all Victoria's Secret diamond-encrusted bras is to be dismantled for parts. Because nobody ever buys them. [WSJ]
• Christian Louboutin, on Jennifer Lopez's single, "Louboutins" — which name-checks his brand 45 times, yes, he counted: "Jennifer told me about the song back in January, and I was extremely flattered. But of course, in America the public pronounces my name in like a million different ways. So Jennifer called me, and she was like, 'Listen, I want to make sure that I get it right.' And she did...from the very first time! I know the song by heart now. Because the brilliant part of the single is that it's not about me. It's about a girl and her shoe. When something is so in mass culture and you have almost nothing to do with it, it's kind of cool. It's weird but not disagreeable." [FWD]

• The Tiger Woods case may be closed, but a Los-Angeles based cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, is telling Us Weekly that she had a 31-month fling with Tiger. And:

Another woman from a nightclub in Las Vegas is expected to be named any minute now. Can of worms, you guys. Can of worms. [MSNBC Scoop]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us Weekly has voicemails from Tiger Woods in which he says: "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye." You can listen at the link. [Us Weekly]
• Jaimee Grubbs, the alleged recipient of the voicemail, allegedly bragged about her relationship with Tiger at work and played the voicemail for coworkers. Allegedly. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs also says she has photos and hundreds of "racy" text messages from Tiger Woods. [NY Daily News]
• More on Tiger's sexting here. One message reads: "I will wear you out... when was the last time you got [bleeped]?" [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Tiger Woods booked and paid for Rachel Uchitel's trip to meet him in Australia in November. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan was out Monday night, hanging with John Mayer and Samantha Ronson, and was "totally sober and well-behaved." No, really. [Page Six]
• According to this column, John Mayer was "playing relationship counselor" to Sam and Lindsay — getting Sam to talk to Lindsay, whom she initially ignored. The two ended up spending much of the night talking and laughing! John Mayer is magic! [Gatecrasher]
• Caaaaaaashmere sweaters! Oprah's "Favorite Things" episode may be back next year! [CNN]
• Like Taylor swift, Bon Jovi and Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z is suing an establishment for playing his music without paying. [TMZ]
• What's this? Justin Timberlake's new hair looks like his old hair? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• Adam Lambert is hoping one of his songs will be in the Twilight movie Eclipse: "It's kind of about vampires," he explains. "It's a great song. It's very theatrical ... very campy." SHOCKING. [Gatecrasher via MTV]
• Tragic times we live in: Britney Spears, Rihanna, David Beckham, Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were all seen at LAX Monday — and they all few commercial. [Gatecrasher via X17]
• George Clooney's frequent flier tip: Wear slip-on shoes. "The shoes you have to tie, they take forever." But: "I never wear those goofy masks on my eyes. I am too worried about the guy in the next seat taking a picture of me. That is one photo that you can't live down." [People]
• Kim Kardashian has finally reached her "goal" in terms of her body, and you can see what that looks like in a pic at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Another amazing Twitter pic: Tyra and her real hair! [NY Daily News]
• The Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie promises to be "epic" and those involved are looking to "recreate that Gladiator magic." Production is "massive," claims Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe says: "I don't think there is a satisfying Robin Hood and that's one of the key reasons for wanting to make another one." Expect to see Robin with cropped hair and a beard, much like Maximus. [News.com.au]
• Clint Eastwood, who directed the Nelson Mandela film Invictus, says he finds Mandela "Christ-like." "There are just no people like this on the planet." [Showbiz 411]
• Stevie Wonder has been named a United Nations Messenger of Peace, which is a brilliant idea. [UPI]
• Rah rah ah ah ah: Barry Manilow hearts Lady Gaga. "I really think she's got something going for her," he says. [Reuters]
• Barry should know that a teen panel has declared that Lady Gaga and Jamie Foxx songs are the musical equivalent of junk food with "unhealthy relationship ingredients." But: "We aren't telling people what they should or should not be listening to," Barbara Ferrer, of the Boston Public Health Commission, said in a statement. "We are giving them a tool that will help them make an informed choice about what they put in their bodies." Fourteen teens attended a seven-week commission-sponsored institute on healthy relationship promotion and teen dating violence prevention, where they were taught to evaluate music based on themes of power, control, equality and gender roles. [USA Today]
• Sting was asked: "Do you feel uncomfortable travelling between various homes in various continents at enormous carbon cost?" by Newsnight's Jeremy Paxman, who added: You're not being blamed for the global crisis, you're just being called a hypocrite." Sting "squirmed in his seat." [Guardian]
• OMG OMG OMG: Joan Collins is hoping to take her makeover TV show Joan Does Glamour to the US! Hairspray, diamonds and shoulder pads for everyone! [Mirror]
• "Customers who buy a diamond at Ivanka Trump's Bridal Bar, where rings start at $15,000, will get a three-course dinner with champagne and a night in a Trump hotel in Manhattan." Get engaged — get a room. [Ny Daily News]
• Corey Feldman's going through a divorce and wants joint custody of his son and doesn't want to give his wife spousal support. [TMZ]
• Little Richard is out of the hospital after hip surgery and wants to work hard at recovery so he can "get back on the road as soon as possible." Let's hope he's feeling Tutti Frutti ASAP. [AP]
• Norah Jones has won her battle to transform the windowless side wall of her Amity Street mansion in Brooklyn's Cobble Hill by punching out 10 windows. [Brooklyn Paper]
• "Oscar-nominated actor James Woods has settled a lawsuit against a hospital in Rhode Island where his younger brother Michael died in 2006." [Mirror]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname reunited… To watch their son's nativity play. [The Sun]
• "I did show my line at Bryant Park, which is not in this season, but I knew that I had to really prove myself as a designer more than anybody else out there. There are so many celebrity lines and there are so many reality show lines, actually, that haven't really done well and haven't shown much design sense. So I had to prove myself even more, that I really did take this seriously. I think no one ever expected me to put so much heart and soul into it. I guess the verdict is still out regarding what they think of my talent." — Whitney Port. Lots more at the link. [LA Times]
• "We as a family are under a lot pressure. [People want] to make us look bad and wants us to fail. [With the Melrose Place firing, the world], again, always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard. My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong...We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we say we are." — Joe Simpson on his daughters Ashlee and Jessica. [Us Magazine]
• "They are all different. I have died with my eyes open, which is more interesting than dying with your eyes shut. I can't remember how I died as Tolstoy, but I have done Cyrano de Bergerac on stage and I died with my eyes opened. I think that's marvelous, because in the theater the lights hold to your open eyes and it's kind of marvelously frightening for a second." — Christopher Plummer, who plays Tolstoy in his latest film The Last Station. [LA Times]
• "I think we should say something about class in America. It's the dirty little secret nobody wants to talk about… What about the people at the top who are evil and corrupt and don't want to change and don't want to give up the positions of power that they inhabit to make other people suffer and to make actual real horror in the world? They don't want to change. What do we do about them?" — Roseanne Barr tries to be the voice of the disappearing American middle class on her radio show, "The Tipping Point." [LA Times]
• "I think she's probably quite nervous... She's smart but make no mistakes, this will be a very different kind of show than what you're used to. Obviously everyone wants to sit next to me. I am thinking about pulling names out of a hat." — Simon Cowell on Ellen DeGeneres joining the judging panel on American Idol. [Mirror]
• "You can still contribute even if you are not as fortunate as I am. I've been blessed and I've been over-rewarded for what I do and I'm trying to give my time and my resources but you know, I'm a rich rock star, so shoot me." — Bono, urging people to buy products from the (RED) brand, which funds aid projects in Africa. [Telegraph]
• "A lot's changed since I was on TV. We have a black president now. Actually, Obama called me and asked me to help him with his campaign. He said he had two rules for me — don't use the 'N' word, and stay off TV. Figures the first black president would run on a platform of only taxing the rich, and now I'm rich!" — Dave Chappelle, in a surprise visit to Caroline's comedy club. [Page Six]
• "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties. I didn't touch pot 'til I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college [Harvard]. But I think that's a good thing in many ways." — Natalie Portman. [Page Six via Marie Claire]
• "Not only is my performance raw in this film, but through most of the film I am naked from the waist down. So not only am I raw, I'm chafed." — George Clooney, joking about Up In The Air. [People]

• Finally, it's confirmed: Heidi Klum gave birth to a girl, Lou Samuel, on October 9 in L.A. (Her siblings are Johan, 2½ Henry, 5 and Leni, 5.) Seal says:

"From the moment she looked into both of our eyes, it was endless love at first sight. She is beautiful beyond words and we are happy that she chose us to watch her grow over the coming years." [People, AP]

• Wait, is Sparkle Vamp Robert Pattinson not with Kristen Stewart? "Girls scream out for Edward, not Robert," the Twilight star sighs. "I still can't get a date." [People]
• Michael Lohan is trying to get Jon Gosselin to join the Celebrity Boxing Federation. "I am in the Celebrity Boxing Federation, so I had to go out to Philadelphia to meet with the chairman of the organization," Lohan says. "They asked me if Jon would fight, so I went up to Pennsylvania to visit Jon." So you're saying they used you to do their dirty work? [Us Magazine]
• "Jon and Kate Gosselin call 'truce' until their scheduled hearing about family's 'economic issues.'" [NY Daily News]
• Jon and Kate are in court this morning! Let the battle of the joint bank account cash begin. [TMZ]
• An ex-boyfriend of Madonna's former trainer, Tracy Anderson — who is also Gwyneth Paltrow's buddy — claims she swindled him out of $1 million and drove him into bankruptcy. The dude, Glynn Barber, says: "She used her female charms to manipulate me to invest $1 million in her company. I was an easy target. She told me she was a Power Ranger. She told me she was in the musical Cats for four years. She said her ex-husband, Eric, played for the Knicks… None of this turned out to be true." He adds: "I made Madonna's fitness equipment for $13,000 and Tracy sold it to her for $26,000. She made a fortune from using Madonna's name." [Page Six]
• Madonna is offering one of her favorite pairs of Christian Dior shoes to a charity supporting Gypsy child education. The "skyscraper" gold heels are autographed by Her Madgesty and will be sold at the Ovidiu Rom annual ball later this month. [AP]
• Penelope Cruz's ring is news, I tell you. News! [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse is in a new relationship. She's been seeing a new guy for just over a month, and a source says, "He's good to her." [Digital Spy]
• Amy Winehouse caused "havoc" and "mayhem" on the set of Strictly Come Dancing according to this story, which seems greatly exaggerated. [The Sun]
• Hey look! Another story about how The Sun makes shit up. This time Lily Allen has accepted substantial undisclosed libel damages after the paper printed an article called "Ranting Lily." [The Star]
• Is Kanye West actually at an ashram in India? He still posts to his blog. Or someone does. [MSNBC Scoop, KanyeUniverseCity]
• File under Signs Of The Apocalypse: Heidi Montag wants to be "Octomom." [NY Daily News]
• Tyra did a promotional photo shoot in New York City for her talk show yesterday. [Gatecrasher]
• Whitney Port waited outside of a club for 30 minutes because the doorman hadn't seen The Hills or The City and wasn't impressed by her. [NY Post]
• That was quick: Paul Anka is now a 50% partner in the publishing rights to Michael Jackson's song "This Is It." [TMZ, TMZ, TMZ]
• Um. Michael Jackson's hair. Up for auction. [Guardian]
• Is Quinnipiac University worried about sending interns to the David Letterman show? [TMZ]
• Boo: Glee won't be part of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, because the parade airs on NBC… and Glee is on Fox. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Matthew Perry will star, co-write and executive produce a new comedy about a self-involved manager of a second-rate sports arena who begins to re-evaluate his life on his 40th birthday. The show is being pitched to networks this week. [Reuters]
• Tilda Swinton is fighting against a planned £1 billion Donald Trump golf resort, which will evict four residents at the Menie estate in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. [Mirror]
• Rio de Janeiro hearts Woody Allen! The city is offering $2 million in subsidies to attract the director's as-yet-untitled next movie. [LA Times]
• I don't understand what is up between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook, but they were having a custody dispute and now they have reached a settlement and are moving on. [ET]
• Right-handed Andy Roddick beat Virgin heir Sam Branson at tennis — playing as a leftie. [Page Six]
• Carly Simon is suing Starbucks for failing to properly promote a CD that she cut for the company last year. She wants between between $5 million and $10 million, which could buy a lotta lattes. [NYPost]
• Do you watch Southland? Of course you don't. Well, it's canceled now. [NY Post]
• "With the gay movement, it's personal. The same religious-right [bleep]holes who took away my civil rights and put me in jail for a year because they don't like what I do for a living have taken away gay rights. I know firsthand how it feels to have your civil rights stripped from you… P.S., lots of lesbians marched, too." — Joe "Girls Gone Wild" Francis, explaining why he joined the gay rights march in D.C. [Page Six]
• "After a week of considering to stop the release of the movie, I decided it fit the character in the film and it should stay in." — Sharon Stone on her leg-crossing scene in Basic Instinct. [NY Post]
• "If it had been my daughter who was barely a teenager - my daughter is 15 - Roman Polanski would be missing ... period. It wouldn't even get to the court case. But, that's me and I wouldn't want anyone else to follow that because you should let the justice system work it out." — Jamie Foxx, to Parade magazine. [MSNBC]
• "The family is fine with it. Who cares about the money? We have enough money. If I cared about the money, I'd be doing a reality show and doing interviews." — Randy Jackson on the distribution of Michael Jackson's estate. [TMZ]
• "I'm still wearing my own clothes, but I can't button my jeans anymore." — pregnant Padma Lakshmi. [WWD]
• "Was I in love? I couldn't really say. I was certainly intellectually curious and I felt emotionally connected. She was a primary school teacher and she was running away from her husband and had her child in tow. I saw her naked most days of the week, running around, putting the kettle on. In some shape or form I was going to get into that bed with her and lose my virginity. Which I did. Three, four, five weeks later she was pregnant." — Malcom McLaren on his years with Vivienne Westwood. [Times Of London]
• "I've made some OK movies. I don't think I've ever had a movie that was, like, a real Chris Rock movie. This is the closest I can get to it, I think. [My daughters] are very girly, so they're in their mother's [Malaak Compton-Rock] closet all the time putting on clothes and putting stuff in their hair, and they do their girlfriends' hair. You know, growing up with women around me and my daughters, it seemed like a rich topic." — Chris Rock on Good Hair. [WWD]
• "Probably the majority of young actors want to make a big impression in television or film straight away. I wish that young people now - and it's not very fashionable - learnt a bit about our fantastic heritage of theatre and the people who've gone before, learnt a bit about the history of the theatre, because it's phenomenal." — Dame Judi Dench. [Telegraph]
• "We didn't set out to make a children's movie, we set out to make a movie about childhood. In the same way that's what Maurice Sendak does: Maurice Sendak doesn't look at himself as a children's book author. He looks at himself as someone who's trying to write about childhood in an honest way. And with him as our producer, but really as our mentor, he guided us and inspired us to stay true to that." — Spike Jonze on Where The Wild Things Are. [The Philadelphia Inquirer]
• "Most kids in movies are 'de-fanged.' They have no wildness. What we figured out pretty quickly was that we all clearly remembered what it was like to be a boy, to be a little wild and get into trouble." — Dave Eggers, screenwriter for Where The Wild Things Are. [Telegraph]
• "In plain terms, a child is a complicated creature who can drive you crazy. There's a cruelty to childhood, there's an anger. And I did not want to reduce Max to the trite image of the good little boy that you find in too many books." — Maurice Sendak on Where The Wild Things Are. [AP]

In the clip above, Roxy sits down for an interview with Kelly Cutrone for a position at Peoples Revolution. Although Whitney landed her the interview, Roxy comically talks shit on Whitney ("She like wears yellow"), whom she's known since the seventh grade. During the interview, Roxy also claims to have worked for Rachel Zoe for "a little bit," which Rachel denies, Tweeting, ""she never worked for me..lying is so not chic."

In fact, a lot of Tweeting has been going on about Roxy by the faux-reality set. Just yesterday, Stephanie Pratt went on a Twitter tirade about her, unable to limit her views to 140 characters, saying, "She was [my best friend] since 7th grade until she stabbed me in the back for her chance at fame. I tried to bring her on the hills with me but she wanted to be a 'star' so she went behind my back and made arrangements 2 b whits bff."

Roxy was actually the sidekick for Stephanie's very first appearance on The Hills, when the two girls confronted Lauren Conrad in a club to yell at her for being "mean" to Heidi.

Stephanie's assertion about Roxy wanting to be a "star" seem to be true, at least according to this E! News story from two years ago. After Roxy's one appearance on The Hills, her mother actually spoke to the media, who actually bothered to report on it, saying, "Roxy will only appear in one episode of The Hills even though they wanted her to do another one. [She] appeared as a favor. I'm pretty sure she's not going to do any more. They kind of pigeonhole you into stuff there."

The City's Roxy Olin Caught In A Lie [Radar]
The Hills Drama Just Keeps Getting Better [E!]

• Lindsay Lohan will host concerts coinciding with the Singapore Grand Prix this weekend because Nicole Scherzinger had to cancel. Linds says she's qualified because, "I studied NASCAR for almost a year for Herbie. It was very hot inside those cars..."

• She adds: "I like to drive. I like cars. I like fast cars." When asked about the rumors that she knows Nicholas Prugo, the man arrested for burglarizing her apartment, Lindsay said, "I don't really want to get into the details of that. That's for the detectives to do."[AP]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are feuding on the set of SATC 2 and refusing to speak to each other. "While the cast is all smiles on the outside, the level of dislike is unbelievable. No-one is having a good time on this shoot," says an insider. "The crew have taken to calling her ‘Carrie Sadshaw'. When she doesn't have to be ‘on' in her scenes, she looks so sad." [Ok]
• "I have great balance and co-ordination," says John Mayer. "Inventiveness. I am a very inventive lover - that's the secret to my success." [The Sun]
• Clive Owen says his new film about fatherhood, The Boys Are Back, is "A different kind of film... Parenting's a big part of my life, so it felt very natural to me." [Style.com]
• Last weekend David Hasselhoff's 17-year-old daughter Hayley called an ambulance because she believed he had alcohol poisoning. He patched thinkgs up by taking her to a lingerie launch party at a sex shop last night. [TMZ]
• In his tell-all memoir Behind the Bell Dustin Diamond claims his Saved By The Bell castmates smoked pot and hooked up. He claims Mark Paul Gosselaar used steroids and "suddenly exploded with manliness, loading 25 pounds of muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month." Gosselaar dismissed the allegations, joking: "We weren't in rehab and Mr. Belding wasn't my crack dealer." [Us]
• MTV will probably air DJ AM's drug-intervention reality show Gone Too Far. A final decision hasn't been made but sources say the network has been talking to his family about airing the show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pamela Anderson owes creditors more that $1.2 million after failing to pay various contractors who remodeled her Malibu home last year. [Star]
• Khloe Kardashian met her fiance Lamar Odom on August 27th when she hosted a party at a bar for new Laker Ron Artest and he picked up the $3,000 tab for unknown reasons. [TMZ]
• Today Kirsten Dunst testified against a man charged with stealing her $2,000 Balenciaga bag and $2,000 from a New York City hotel suite while she was on a movie set in August 2007. [AP]
• An arrest warrant has been issued for Randy Quaid and his wife Evi. They have been under investigation for the past week for allegedly stiffing the San Ysidro ranch hotel after running up a $10,000 bill. [Radar Online]
• They are expected to be charged with three felony counts each: Defrauding an innkeeper, conspiracy, and burglary. Bail will be set at $20,000. Sources say they also owe the Hotel Bel-Air $17,000 and stole a Hertz Rent-A-Car. [Radar Online]
• Randy and Evi Quaid were arrested this afternoon. Sources say there was a struggle and Evi had to be wrestled to the ground. [TMZ]
• In his upcoming memoir The Time of My Life, Patrick Swayze reveals that when he first read the script for Dirty Dancing he thought "It seemed fluffy - nothing more than a summer-camp movie." [AP]
• Ashlee Simpson says she's excited that Heather Locklear is guest starring on the new Melrose Place. "We're all really thrilled that Heather is coming back!" she said. "Of course we are - she was kind of the heart of the show. It's been great to have a lot of the original cast, and to have Heather join is really incredible. I'm excited!" [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen will play a "pretty angry but funny" Israeli tour guide on an episode of The Simpsons that will probably air in March. [News.com.au]
• Whitney Port said MTV is letting her work on her fashion line and have a fashion show on The City while they always made Lauren Conrad hide her real life on The Hills because, "They saw how passionate I was about designing my clothing line and I really told them, 'This is what I want to do - I don't want to work in public relations and what I want to do is design. So please allow me to do this and please show my reality.'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• When Vampire Diaries star Ian Somerhalder was asked if he's worried audiences are suffering from vampire fatigue he said, "Yes. Yes. Yes. But - there is a but - and I think that is that Twilight is a feature, a big franchise. True Blood is HBO. Vampire Diaries is prime-time network. They're all so different as far as their medium. When you're a young teen, you can't sit in a room with your mom and watch True Blood - it would be very uncomfortable for everyone involved. And Twilight you get once a year. This show is every week, and it's fun, it's smart, it's sexy, it's witty, and it's now - and those characteristics slip perfectly into this crazy sort of vampire jigsaw puzzle we all find ourselves looking at. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Is Variety editor Peter Bart trying to stir up a girl fight between Jane Campion and Kathryn Bigelow? The Women & Hollywood blogs asks if this is how he's describe two male directors: "Jane Campion, 55, made a quintessentially romantic picture in Bright Star, but in person she is cerebral, somewhat severe, leans toward post-hippie attire and seems perplexed by the rigors of the award circuit. Kathryn Bigelow, 57, is tall, model thin, a one-time art student whose gracious manner belies her proclivity for tense, even violent films – The Hurt Locker is her contender." [Women & Hollywood]
• Stephen Moyer says when he marries Anna Paquin his dog "Splash, my alpha, will be the ringbearer... My son [Billy, born in 2000] might be unhappy about that." [People]
• Gerard Butler says of his Ugly Truth co-star Katherine Heigl adopting, "She will be an amazing mom... She's incredibly responsible, smart and loving. This is a huge deal for her and she's going to take to it like a duck to water." [People]
• Last night Leonard Cohen performed in Israel for the first time in 30 years. Some Palestinian activists were calling for a boycott of the show. His manager said, "There are a lot of people who don't want us here, and anything done here invites controversy, but we believe freedom of speech is very, very important." [AP]
• Mary J. Blige, who has an adult daughter and two step-children says, "I don't think I'll do foster care or adopt, to be quite honest," at a New York event honoring her for her work with New Yorkers for Children. "I barely have time for my own children. To adopt more children and not have time for them, that [would be] poor parenting on my [part]." [People]
• Drew Barrymore says of her mother, "I believe she will see the film [Whip It]. I believe she does feel pride in me. I used to pull a lot emotionally from all the stuff with my family, but I did not do this movie to cleanse myself of the mother/daughter debacle that happened in my life. I have been much more objective about my childhood and my relationship with my mother in these last few years. I used to be more attached to all that. I won't deny that the baggage was there at one point." [Just Jared]
• "Some days I want nothing more than a brilliant mask so I could look like someone else and go wander the streets and be free," says Drew Barrymore. "I'm very peeved that Halloween only comes once a year." [CNN]
• Rich Sommer, who plays Harry Crane on Mad Men says of last week's episode [spoilers ahead], "When I got the script, I read that foot scene, and I thought it was kind of crazy, and I couldn't really see how it fit in. So I was surprised at how well the episode turned out. I was a little nervous about that scene. For the past few weeks, the writers and the editors have been saying, 'Oh my God, just wait until the lawnmower episode - it's unbelievable! It's unbelievable, it's a great episode,' and I was just like, "Oh, great! Good.' And then I saw it and I was like, "Wow! It is a really good episode." [N.Y. Magazine]

Jennifer Hudson, for instance: an actual survivor. Which, I guess, entitles her to a futuristic suit of armor, if that's what she wants.


Or, obviously, Liza! Sequins, wigs, and single-name-recognition are true diva hallmarks.


Toni Braxton appreciates the drama of the occasion, even if this does swing a little David's Bridal.


And Kathy and Hoda, obviously, needed to be here. Their getups are deliciously frumpy. And I'm kind of feeling all the virginal white - both seasonally and occasionally inappropriate.


Kathy Griffin is a virtual virgin goddess! No, seriously, I really like this gown.


Paula is, of course, the grand mistress of this whole thing. Her rather elegantly subdued dress is saved from too much quiet good taste by ruby slippers and - are those stockings?


Speaking of quiet good taste - and wigs - Kim Zolciak is actually going much looser than usual in azalea-tinted meringue.


Kelly Clarkson, diva-in-training, looks about as youthful as an operatic diva with a long history of Wagner performances behind her.


Jordyn Sparks also skews a little frumpy. Which, given the event, I'm kind of feeling.


India.Arie sort of looks like she has gold spilling from her breasts. Nice skill to have!


The horizontal wrap on Sheryl Crow's gauzy number isn't terribly flattering - but might have been better with a shoe other than these high-cut booties.


If you're dressing around a generous bust, like Sheri Shepherd, tight and one-shouldered isn't really the most flattering option, as it results in the dreaded sling effect.


Adele, embryo diva, continues her run as one of the best-dressed women on the proverbial red carpet of life.


You know who don't qualify as divas? Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad. That said, I'm glad they made a sequin effort.


Also: Miley Cyrus. And her dress is terrible. The end.
[Images via Getty]

Philosophically speaking: where did Lady Gaga have to go, besides Elizabethan Papagena in community production of Phantom?


So we gotta ask...


Who wore it better?


If this is Jennifer Lopez's comeback, I'm confused about its direction.


The sad thing? Beyonce's slash and burn is sweet and demure in this company.


Whatever people think about Kanye stealing her thunder, Taylor Swift had already scored a total triumph: continuing her reign as best-dressed star under 25.


Alexa Chung, per usual, does her gothic Lolita hipster shtick, and pulls it off.


See, normally, you'd think, 'wow, Jade Cole looks like a preposterous 1991 hot mess.' But tonight? This was, like, the dress code.


Miranda Cosgrove demonstrates the finest in disco ball chic.


And Alicia Keys shoes its manifold creative possibilities...


Kristin Cavalleri, meanwhile, demonstrates the worst in disco ball chic.


Kristin may have The Hills, but this round goes to L.C.


Leighton Meester continues her case as a serious fashion player.


Stephanie Pratt's nightie doesn't seem that bad...and then you reach the shoes.
Apparently she's been walking through a Medieval marketplace?


Tyson Ritter's the frontman of All-American Rejects. Which really makes this too easy.


Whitney Port, now a designer with her own tent show, has obviously gotten too big not just for her britches, but for her bustier-crinoline-Chicago-costume.


Cassie's...getup brings to mind the immortal words of Heidi Klum: "This looks like I sewed it. And I can't sew."


In the 19th century, Whitby, North Yorkshire, was known for its fine-quality jet carving.


Nikki Hilton: your dress offends me. It is ugly and, worse, it is boring. I think disappointing me is punishment enough.


Isn't Amber Rose's outfit elegant and beautiful?


In case you're not sure, here's a back view!


Normally I don't love cape-backs, but Amerie's mini is starting to look really good right about now.


Keri Hilson should really overcome her inhibitions.


Rose Byrne totally wears this oversized floral - not easy, to which many a starlet can attest.


Solange Knowles' scrollwork mini is one of the few actual fashion risks on this R.C.


I'd look sullen too, if my boob was coated in industrial-strength epoxy and I knew in a few hours I had to rip it off.


As Adrienne Bailon proves, two wrongs never, ever make a right.

[Images via Getty]

• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have welcomed their second child. She announced on her website, "In the middle of night, the very early hours of September 9, 2009, Sparrow James Midnight Madden was born." [Us]

• Sources say Katherine Heigl is adopting a baby this week from Korea with husband Josh Kelley. The baby is about 10 months old and her name is Nayleigh but will be called Leigh. [Radar Online]
• Susan Boyle will appear on the finale of America's Got Talent in her first performance on American TV. [Perez Hilton]
• Video of the altercation between Brody Jenner, Joe Francis, and Jayde Nicole has emerged and it seems to confirm Francis' story that he didn't repeatedly hit and kick Jayde, as she claimed. She throws a drink at him and he grabs her hair, but doesn't touch her again. [TMZ]
• Whitney Port and Freddie Fackelmayer have broken up, but it seems they may have only been dating on The City, as their relationship will be featured on the show. [People]
• Audrina Patridge says she doesn't keep in touch with her BFFs from The Hills. "I barely talk to Lauren. We'll text every now and then, but that's about it," she says. "Heidi, um, keeps asking me to go to Bible study with her." [People]
• Various Jackson family members are angry at Jermaine Jackson for holding a Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna, and they say he badgered Katherine Jackson into saying she supports the tribute. [TMZ]
• Kate Gosselin rejected an offer to pose for Playboy for $400,000. "Hugh sent her a letter, but Kate was totally mortified and threw it away!" said a source. "She didn't think it was appropriate because of the children." [N.Y. Daily News]
• This is a story about Victoria Beckham not tipping when she went to Medieval Times in California; more importantly, why was Victoria Beckham at Medieval Times? [TMZ]
• Dina Lohan is mad because TMZ labeled her the "worst mom ever" months ago, but TMZ counters that was a title she won in a poll. Apparently respondents didn't think driving your daughter to a bar after finishing up a stint in rehab was an example of great parenting. [TMZ]
• Ashley Olsen was spotted crying in a restaurant while sitting on boyfriend Justin Bartha's lap. [Radar Online]
• Tila Tequila's lawyer says NFL player Shawne Merriman's claim that he was trying to keep Tila off the road because she was drunk when he allegedly assaulted her is just spin. Her lawyer said, "Shawne Merriman and his advisors have decided that the best defense is a good offense, attacking Tila Tequila in the press with a lot of calculated spin to cover up his illegal and indefensible actions. Fortunately, we as a society will not tolerate a 6'4", 270 pound all-pro NFL linebacker physically assaulting a young lady who is 4'11" and 93 pounds. It is never justifiable to brutally assault, choke, strike and imprison a woman." [TMZ]
• Shawne Merriman's ex-girlfriend Gloria Velez says she doesn't think he could have choked Tila Tequila because he never laid a hand on her during their four year relationship. [TMZ]
• Shawne Merriman had been interviewed for the October issue of Playboy before the incident and the whole thing is about hitting various NFL players on the field. He says, "I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." [Playboy]
• Hugh Hefner is worth about $43 million based on documents filed with his divorce papers. [TMZ]
• Jay-Z says of working with Kanye West again for his new album Blueprint 3, "The most interesting thing in the studio was Kanye because of Kayne's growth. You got to figure on the first "Blueprint" he was a new producer, so he was just putting in the beats and moving out the way. On this one, he had an opinion about how the songs should sound and it was just great energy that we had in the studio." [AP]
• Jay-Z says he was addicted when he used to sell crack in his Brooklyn neighborhood, but to selling, not drugs. "You become addicted to the feeling, the uncertainty and adrenaline and danger of that lifestyle," he said. [People]
• Well, she certainly doesn't mince words! When Malin Akerman was shown a picture of President Obama shirtless in Hawaii she said, "I might have to have a little bathroom break. Change my panties... Oh, my God. I really need to meet him and mess up his marriage. And mess up mine, too... Have you seen his hands? I'm sorry, but I'm a big hand freak, and those hands could wrap around you twice." [Esquire]
• Sources say Casey Wilson was fired from Saturday Night Live because she was told to lose 30 pounds over the summer hiatus and either refused to or was unable to. [E!]
• ABC has rolled out the stealth advertising campaign for Cougar Town with placards for Jules Cobb real estate featuring Courteney Cox posted in residential neighborhoods. [Time]
• A source close to Karina Smirnoff says of her breakup with Maksim Chmerkovskly, "They both knew when they had been spending more time together recently things weren't going so well... She's not devastated but it obviously hurts, she's angry. She'll always love him and respect him but she always knew in heart of hearts from the beginning of their relationship that he wasn't the one for her." [People]
• Jennifer Aniston says she doesn't care if she's portrayed inaccurately in the media. "It doesn't bug me, if people don't believe it. That's all," she says. "I would just hate it if people actually believed any of it. That's what I would be disappointed with because I don't want crap like that to distract from what I do, my work." [People]
• "I think that's because it's just instinctual as a woman to be the caretaker of your home. Women complain that men don't do enough, but it's your own fault... You train your man to do nothing. You can't blame someone for not knowing what his or her job should be if you don't ask for it right off the bat," says Jennifer Aniston, adding, "I think it's important to have closure in any relationship that ends - from a romantic relationship to a friendship. You should always have a sense of clarity at the end and know why it began and why it ended. You need that in your life to move cleanly into your next phase." [N.Y. Daily News]

[New York, August 25. Image via WENN]

• We never thought of Lady Gaga's style as something one should actually seek to take credit for, but Roisin Murphy apparently feels differently. [Refinery29]

• Katie Holmes' clothing line, which she designs with her stylist, Jeannie Yang, is ready to launch for fall at Maxfield in Los Angeles. [WWD]
• Mariah Carey's latest scent, Forever, comes out this September. "I am in a wonderful place right now," says the singer, "surrounded by all the things I love, and Forever captures this moment in time." So Forever smells like marriage to a younger man, and something pink? [WWD]
• Also this September, Nanette Lepore is launching her new fragrance, Nanette by Nanette. [WWD]
• Political Science Ph.D. and former Communist Party member Miuccia Prada didn't vote in the last Italian elections, much to her family's chagrin. "My son criticized me. ‘You're not coming? You're not going to vote?' So I have to justify. Of course, because I always taught them principles and the idea of [the importance of] politics, if they see in myself a false step, they become...I know it was wrong. I should have gone." Speaking of false steps, Prada also said, of the many model tumbles that marred her Spring/Summer '09 show, which featured her impossible-to-walk-in shoes, "I liked it. It made the show more interesting." A hypocrite with a missing compassion chip? Our Miuccia Prada crush is rapidly dissipating. [W]
• Crocs apparently thinks that by selling what amounts to a rubber clog for your cell phone, it can save its business. Interesting. [InventorSpot]
• For some reason, somebody put Andy Warhol screenprints of dollar signs on a unisex perfume. People will license anything that isn't nailed down in this world. [WWD]
• Whitney Port made an awful, frosted pink lipstick that looks like what your slutty cousin wore in 1983. Even the fact that $2 from the sale price goes to charity isn't enough to stop us hating. [People]
  
• Covergirl is seeking more brand prestige. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik loves boots. Loves them. And skirts, which he'd wear if he were a woman. "Every year I have lots of boots in my collection. This year I have chosen something a little extreme — a paper-flat sole with lots of big buckles. I love this look – it makes me think of old films, of Margaret Lockwood, or crinolines. I love the look of a very long skirt with these paper-flat boots. Women in winter must wear very high or very flat boots, it's so chic — forget your pumps. Long skirts are a must in women's wardrobes, although you don't see many of them these days. It's what I would wear, though. Every year I have done over-the-knee boots. One year they were so high you could tie them to your belt — Elle Macpherson in that was so sexy." [Independent]
• Bloomingdale's is spending $55 million on a two-month renovation of its 60,000 sq. foot main sales floor. [WWD]
• Stella McCartney is opening a pop-up store in the Hamptons. All the better that we never see what we could never afford. [WWD]
• Oh, look. Gap gave certain fashion bloggers free jeans. And then certain fashion bloggers wrote about how awesome Gap's jeans are. Odd coincidence! We're sure the failure to disclose the freebie was simply an oversight. [Fashionista]
• Although retail spending was down 12.7% during the back-to-school period, compared with last year, spending on denim was relatively well-performing. Even sales-hemorrhaging Abercrombie & Fitch has seen its denim remain popular. [TS]
• Swatch reported a 28% drop in profits for the first half of this year, to 301 million Swiss Francs. Sales fell 15.3% on last year. [WSJ]
• Elizabeth Arden's sales for the last quarter, like pretty much everybody else's, slipped. The company lost $3.6 million. [WWD]
• JC Penney's quarterly results were not as bad as analysts had expected. The company lost $1 million, compared with earning a profit of $117 million for the same period last year. [NYTimes]
• The Hemline Index never made any sense to begin with. The Lipstick Bellwether sounded good, but wasn't true. The Heel Height Indicator came into vogue briefly, like platform shoes (which by the way weren't invented during the Great Depression). Of all the hokey, jokey faux-economic indicators — most of which, you might notice, are female-linked, probably because of undying cultural stereotypes about women and shopping — the so-called Men's Underwear Index is obviously our favorite. It just will not die! [PhilInquirer]

Whitney Port's frock - which I think she works but has maybe one too many elements for the common palette, as Roald Dahl would say - puts me in mind of an anecdote. I had a new dress, and my dad said, "I don't like that ruffle thing on the waist," and my mom, furious, said, "Harry, that's the peplum! The peplum is the whole point!"


Anna emailed me to say, "omg Buzz Aldrin's wife is amazing." I'll say! Lois Aldrin can work Jetsons glam like nobody's business! And she knows it! Also, I understand why they're here!


I suspect Estelle's Hefty cinch-sak chic (and I'm not being snide, I do mean chic) is some kind of homage to the space suits of the Apollo crew? No?


I have a great affection for JoAnna Garcia that's totally unrequited. So what do you expect me to say about her LBD?


On the one hand, I dig Cassie's new wave Vuitton, and like most things, she rocks it. On the other, I don't think it's appropriate for the occasion - um, everyone knows the dress code is "moon landing glam."


Sometimes Jessica Szohr makes me feel unfairly antagonistic, I think purely because she reminds me of a certain segment of uber-hip teens one grew up with in NYC, and even then I'm probably conflating her with her character in a really unfair way. Said teens were known for mixing "vintage" with Anna Sui. And weirdly, knew all the other rich hipsters at all the other schools; I think they all played bass for each others' bands. Or maybe I'm just mad because twice I've been at shows where she got to skip the line. It must be said IRL she looked lovely.


[Images via Getty]

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have broken up. Again. This report claims:

They had a fight over Sam's friendship with Nicole Richie, who doesn't like LL and refuses to be in the same room with her. [E!]

• But! Lindsay Lohan's Twitter reads: "Why do people cheat? When love is always standing right in front of their face (s) ?? SR?" [Twitter, The Sun]
• By the by, Lindsay Lohan's rep says London police never questioned her about the missing jewelry from the photo shoot, but that she would comply if necessary. The rep also noted that there were 20 people working at the Elle shoot. [AP]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Stephanie Pratt is on the cover of Us Weekly with the words: "The Hills Made Me Bulimic." [Us Magazine]
• Victoria Beckham has reportedly had a third boob job, reducing her double Ds to a 34B. Is the "trend" of inflating mammaries through surgery on the wane? [The Sun]
• Sean Penn has dropped out of two major films: The Three Stooges — which was supposed to start filming in August — and crime thriller Cartel. Penn is taking a break from Hollywood to focus on his family — does this mean he's got a lot of patching up to do with Robin Wright Penn? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Sean Penn has been telling people he "needs personal time." [Deadline Hollywood]
• Chris Brown's lawyer is seeking to delay the hearing — scheduled for Monday. [AP]
• In court papers, Kelis is accusing estranged husband Nas of abandoning her during her pregnancy and claims that she is dependent on Nas' finances. A source says: "Kelis has spent every last penny that she has to cover whatever expenses for the baby that she can but at this point really needs him to step up and share in the responsibility. She physically can't work to bring in any sort of income, as much as she'd like to." [MTV News]
• Guess whose ratings are up? David Letterman's; everybody loves a Sarah Palin kerfluffle. [NY Times]
• Jon Gosselin spent his 10th anniversary weekend in Nyack, NY, having a beer with a friend. A waiter says: "Jon was on the phone most of the time and was definitely talking to his kids." [People]
• Rihanna is being sued for messing up someone's lawn. [TMZ]
• Rihanna and Drake, aka Jimmy from Degrassi: It's still on. [Page Six]
• Simon Cowell claims that he told Susan Boyle she could quit Britain's Got Talent if it was getting to be too much for her. She said to him: "No, I want to win." And with all the hype, she probably thought she would. [The Sun]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was seen dancing, doing tequila shots and "all over a guy in his 20s" in the Hamptons. [Page Six]
• Pretty much everything that comes out of Betty White's mouth in this interview is awesome. She says: "At this age, you don't often get a good part like this. It was an old-fashioned romantic comedy, not with all that garbage they have to throw in these days. And Sandy and Ryan — the chemistry is so good between them. And Anne Fletcher, the director, she's as nutty as the rest of us." [LA Times]
• Mia Farrow's brother, artist Patrick Farrow, has been found dead in his Vermont art gallery. [USA Today]
• Is Owen Wilson dating a Kate Hudson look-alike? [Gatecrasher]
• Four words: Gene Simmons urinal cakes. [Best Week Ever]
• In this interview, Melissa Etheridge talks about medical marijuana, and how it helped her after chemotherapy: "All of a sudden I could get out of bed. I could go see my kid. And it was amazing." She didn't smoke weed — it was mixed into butter and spread on food, or run through a vaporizer. In any case, she thinks medical marijuana should be legal. [CNN]
• Miley Cyrus will star in The Last Song, an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks flick. Greg Kinnear and Kelly Preston will play her parents. And watch for the soundtrack! The story is about a bellious teen sent to spend the summer with her estranged father. Guess what bridges the gap between them? Music. [Variety]
• Blow-outs, manicures, Botox and spray tans: Beauty "secrets" from the Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [W Magazine]
• Ew. On Larry King, Spencer Pratt called Al Roker an "elderly man" who thought he could "parade my 22-year-old wife on television." [MSNBC Scoop]
• A violent thunderstorm almost shut down Monday night's live broadcast of I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here. My grandma would say it's because they've been acting ugly and God don't like ugly. [Ok]
• The most predictable thing in the world: Carrie Prejean's lawyer claims she was "set up." [E!]
• Whitney Port's show The City will be getting new characters, described as "vixens." This should turn out well. [Page Six]
• Tracey Ullman's State Of The Union on Showtime has been renewed for a third season. [Variety]
• In an interview with The Bangles, the ladies talk about making music and Susanna Hoffs says they have "No record label, no deadline. And that's kind of what's fun about it." [CNN]
• Bam Margera has two new shows: One will show him going back to school (he left in 10th grade) and the other? "It's like a travel show and me and my scumbag friends will be going around and getting into trouble." [Mirror]
• Sorry Superbad fans: there will not be a sequel starring McLovin. [Gatecrasher]
• For everything you never wanted to know about a David Cross/Jim Belushi feud, click the link. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which married hot tamale of an actress has three boyfriends on the side? One is rich, one is pretty and one is a rough-and-tumble Oscar nominee." [Gatecrasher]
• "I've come very close to fucking it all up. I had to give up scotch, because it turns me into a werewolf - and cigarettes, too. I seem to like to kiss trouble on the forehead and then try to back away. I test my limits quite often. I guess that's what 22-year-olds do. But I'm fallible and human and I'm figuring it out. I don't even really know what it is I do for a living - the level of insecurity is very, very high. You're making a lot of money, getting a lot of accolades and positive criticism for something where you don't even know what you're doing. There's no business-model for this; you can't step away, go home and say, 'You did your job today,' because I don't know what my job is! That gets crazy, trying to figure that shit out." — Shia La Beouf. [Guardian]
• "We're getting to know each other and I have to leave it at that." — Paris Hilton on her relationship with famed footballer Cristiano Ronaldo. [Mirror]
• "What a freakin' episode. Freakin' fireplace, freakin' sink, freakin' gorgeous. These were Dina's eloquent words when describing Teresa's marble palace. I laughed when she said, 'You have onyx coming out of your ass.' Now that would be painful." — from Bethenny Frankel's blog on the Real Housewives Of New Jersey finale. [E!]
• "Ben is a great man for the secret exit. Ben always has an escape, I think. It may be a piece of wood, floating on the ocean. Or it may be a rope, or a secret door. Or, you know, an Ecuadorian passport and a plastic bag, something like that. He's probably going to survive." — Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus on Lost. [E!]
• "My act was like, 'Yeah, I walked in from school on my mom and dad screwing today ... and you go from there, building up such a disgustingly accurate description that the audience would start thinking it was insane what they were listening to - this little kid they can't yell back at, and who can only legally perform if all the alcoholic drinks are taken off the tables. Tough crowd! And telling jokes about things that no 10-year-old should even know about." — Shia LaBeouf, on being a kid comic who performed in adult clubs. [Guardian]
• "I was raised thinking that a relationship like that was just completely wrong. But I can't choose who I fall in love with, and I'm not going to not do something that makes me happy just because people disapprove. It seemed natural to us and that was all that mattered." — Evan Rachel Wood on dating Marilyn Manson. [The Daily Beast]
• "[My first time] I said to the girl, 'Hey, was it good for you, too?' And she said, 'Well, I guess it'll get better eventually.' Sadly, she wasn't right. It wasn't better for her or any of the women who subsequently agreed to sleep with me." — Judd Apatow is horrible in bed. [Page Six]
• "Well, I think your face should still move. And you should be recognizable to your friends. One actress I knew years ago, a really lovely person, had some stuff done, and literally, every time I run into her now I don't recognize her. Every time!" —Michelle Pfeiffer. [Page Six]
• "I begged to have them let me do a nude scene, but they wouldn't, they just wouldn't. I said, 'Well, it's a comedy and I'll get laughs, I guarantee it!' " — Betty White, on The Proposal. [LA Times]