Jezebel 
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New York, 5:26 PM
Sun Nov 8
25 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/31/08
12/31/08
12/31/08
If you see my comment before yours, You'd see how even the simple stuff, which could easily rate a strong 'No' aren't given a reaction. It becomes "normal" and accepted for guys to pursue women like that. And it becomes the woman's fault if she's uncomfortable. This is not right. Attitudes like yours are the problem here for many women.
Get this straight: It doesn't matter what the women do, they are still Not Raped. Whether they fight it, or accept it, in society's eyes, she is at fault.
12/31/08
Attitudes like mine are factually the solution to bastards like that guy. And I'm speaking from experience, a "straight male" like you would not understand. Actually, it's attitudes like, women being afraid as being a 'bitch' or being called overreacting, or worried what society thinks, and that was the main problem I was addressing.
There are women so desperately wanting to be liked, that they even sacrifice their freedom of speech.
12/31/08
12/31/08
Remember, this was after 3 am, all the other guests had gone, the host had gone to bed, she would have been in her right place to tell the fucker that she was going to bed, and he needed to go, NOW! And if the next morning the host would have mentioned to her how rude, she could have explained the situation. But her story reads to me as a girl who doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, including an asshole's feelings, except her own, and I really don't get that.
12/31/08
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12/30/08
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12/30/08
A similar thing happened at a college party sleeping on the floor next to a girl friend and her boyfriend. I woke up to him touching me and then later found out that he told my friend I had come on to him.
Neither was rape. But it did help to talk about it, thena dn now.
12/30/08
I can't tell you how many women I speak to about Jez and how much it really affects our lives. For the better, obvi.
I've been meaning to write a love letter of sorts to Jezebel and this seems as good of time as any.
I heart you, Jez, you help make me into a stronger woman.
Me
12/30/08
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12/30/08
Wh tld y t ws ky t lt yr bds b smn's plygrnd?
12/30/08
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12/30/08
My previous long-term relationship involved a year and a half of guilt-induced sex, where I'd have just gotten home from the emergency room for an arthritis flare-up so bad I couldn't walk, and my boyfriend at the time would whine and cry that it hurt too much for him to go without sex, so I'd lay there while he pulled out the bottle of lube and got himself off.
I didn't realize until 6 months ago that that isn't how a relationship is supposed to work.
Even now, with my current boyfriend, if he knows I'm not feeling well and doesn't try to initiate sex, I start to wonder if he wants to break up with me or doesn't care about me anymore, and I know for a fact that isn't the case, but I still start freaking out about it.
Thank you for this post, a lot.
12/30/08
I've never had such difficult experiences as you, and the boys I've dated have always respected my boundaries, but somehow I got it through my head that boys will only stay with me if I give them sex. Thank you, society.
Fortunately, I'm working through this and learning how to respect myself more than that.
12/30/08
12/30/08
When i was 17 I drank too much at a friends house and woke up with a guy I sort of knew performing a sexual act on me. I went to school with him. I just pushed him off and rolled into a ball. Never told anyone. I saw him every day in school and felt ashamed. I felt disgusted with myself for getting so drunk and I "let that happen". It took me many years to realize it wasn't my fault and how often this shit happens. When I was in the military, a guy broke in my room when I was sleeping, and passed out on the end of my bed. My roommate woke me up and asked me who he was... and why was he in a chair passed out next to my bed. I was freaked out and didn't know what to do, so I woke him up and he bolted. I tried to chase after him but he got out too quickly. Never found out who he was. I told someone (read: a superior) about it and they asked me if I was sure that I didn't invite him into my room, then decide I didn't want him there anymore? Or, was I making this up? I can't imagine what would have happened if he hadn't passed out.
I wish that I had went to someone about the guy that assaulted me in high school, and I wish someone had taken me seriously when I actually fucking told someone about a dude that broke into my room, and passed out on my bed.
Sorry I just needed to get that off my chest.
12/30/08
That's what we're here for =)
12/30/08
That's what I and pretty much every other poster have been commenting on, and your first response is 'fuck that'?
Apparently even here on a thread about safety and security we women can't say something we've been thinking without a guy kicking off when he hears something he doesn't fully agree with. 'Fuck that' cancels out the rest of your comment
12/30/08
My husband, who was sympathetic, asked me why I didn't tip over the guy's bike. I don't know, except to explain that it wasn't my first thought. But I don't know what was my first thought. Killing the guy with the camera phone?
I shared this experience on a message board I used to belong to, along with a few other harassment experiences, and got attacked by a group of women who accused me of making up the stories for attention and for having an inflated idea of how attractive I was. It was like being not-raped all over again. I'm so thankful for this forum and can't express how much the stories here mean to me.
12/30/08
12/30/08