[London, September 9. Image via Getty]

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 09: A Bonhams gallery assistant holds an engraved whales' tooth depicting Charles Darwin's 1834 voyage on HMS Beagle which is expected to fetch up to 50,000 GBP at auction on September 9, 2009 in London, England. The lot features in Bonhams' 'Travel and Exploration Sale' of items from 300 years of global expeditions. (Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images)

• Last Monday, China implemented an internet ban on YouTube. Although China has the technology to block only certain URLs, the entire site has been blocked from use. • In order to lure in the desirable baby-boomer demographic, The Hallmark Channel is playing up their status as a "soothing, predictable" network. At least they know their strengths. • The Statue of Liberty is set to re-open for the public on July 4th, 2009. Lady Liberty's crown has been closed since 9/11. • This is kind of a downer: America's eight most downsized cities. The "Rust Belt" list includes Youngstown, Ohio at number one and Detroit at number three. • Sled dogs are among the most energy efficient animals on earth, and scientists hope that their "fat-burning prowess" could be used to discover new ways to treat diabetes and obesity. • Delta Air Lines is resurrecting vintage uniforms for flight attendants from now-defunct carriers like Pan American World Airways to promote their pending merger with Northwest Airlines. • Forbes has some advice for those of us who suck with money: 7 steps to fix your retirement. •  Nickelodeon has asked kids to unplug their games and gadgets on April 22nd in honor of Earth Day. • Funny lady Janeane Garofalo is also in on the action, and in this video, she advocates for the "huge turn off" on Earth Day with some serious armpit hair. •  Sociological Images has pictures of the new Angela Merkel Barbie. She looks... classy? •  To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, organizer Michael Lane plans to throw together a free, green, outdoor music festival. He is currently looking for sponsors and scouting venues in New York City. •  A unique community of killer whales has failed to recover from the Exxon Valdez oil spill in 1989. Experts say that the pod is slowly dying out, and with it, their distinctive song-dialect. • 

[Sydney, Australia. Image via News.com.au]

Saved... both Pig, the male, and Wuru, the female, were orphaned in the wild and rescued while only days old. Picture: Charlie Brewer

• Paris Hilton has another video in support of her nascent Presidential campaign and, this time, she's got Jeb Bartlett giving her advice. It's not as good as the first, but it just goes to show that President Bartlett was nothing without Josh. [Funny or Die]
• In other really important news, Madonna really doesn't want "Sarah Fucking Palin" at her party and doesn't appreciate the winking. [Huffington Post]
• And the Foo Fighters want McCain to stop using their song "My Hero." Man, does anyone listen to lyrics anymore?[WWLTV]
• McCain thinks we're all his "fellow prisoners." So do we, old man, so do we. [Think Progress]

• Even General Petraeus agrees with Obama about Afghanistan and Pakistan now. Who's naive now? [Washington Independent]
• Oh, and Obama's harped-upon planetarium earmark? Failed, and it was (as I thought) for one of those projectors that makes the stars at planetariums and helps with, you know, science education and shit. It was not one of those things your high school teachers put transparencies on. [Huffington Post]
• Speaking of science education, the Supreme Court is going to hear arguments about when Navy sonar is harming whales. I'm betting they rule in favor of the navy, just because.[Washington Post]
• Yes, yes, rumors continue to swirl about Sarah Palin supposedly appearing on Saturday Night Live this weekend despite the fact that the campaign has floated this every week for the last three weeks in order to soften her appearance. Even Seth Meyers is saying its not true. Just because they want us to think she has a sense of humor doesn't mean she does. [Newsday]

• Is a bridal line in Kate Moss's future? Her boyfriend, supposedly sober Pete Doherty, says that if he can stay clean, he hopes to marry Moss this summer. We say there's as good a chance of that happening as there is our voting for Giuliani in 2008. [Yahoo News]
  
• New names being tossed around to replace Rosie O'Donnell. Yay, the gays! Sex and the City's Mario Cantone and Ross "The Intern" Mathews (of Tonight Show fame) are both being considered for the gig. [E!]
  
• Speaking of the gays, Jerusalem's Gay Pride Parade went off without a hitch this year. And by "without a hitch" we mean, aside from those 18 arrests of ultra-orthodox Jews during the parade, including one who attempted to bomb it. [BBC]
  
• And while we're still on the topic, maybe-homophobe Isaiah Washington continues his reign of victimhood, now saying that it is his Grey's Anatomy castmate T.R. Knight who should have been fired from the show, not him. Dude! Get over it! [People.com]
  
• Wes Craven is suing his neighbor Pauly Shore, claiming that water seeped from Shore's property onto his own and caused major damage. Wow: Pauly Shore and Wes Craven are neighbors? That's fucking hilarious. [USA Today]
  
• No porn or booze for Australian Aborigines. Glad to know that colonial paternalism is still alive and well! [CNN]
  
• First it was the whales, then the dolphins, and now all we can do is worry about the seals. Haven't marine mammals been through enough?! [Reuters]
  
• 9 U.S. casualties identified today. [DoD]

• Jane Magazine's Brandon Holley got hitched. Like two weeks ago! [Gawker]
  
• Anna Wintour isn't the only one with a grudge against pachyderms: EBay has got it in for them too. [CNN]
  
• Angelina Jolie says she's going on hiatus. Wee! This might mean that more biological "blobs" are on the way! [USAToday]
  
• Veronica Mars dies a quiet death tonight. [NeptuneSite]
  
• The new, no-period birth control pill gets FDA approval; Tambrands weeps. [WSJ]

• Sigh. Britney's back on the sauce. [PerezHilton]
  
• Rachel McAdams is shaving a few years off her age. So what? At least she's not trending down by a decade like Catherine Zeta-Jones! [RadarOnline]
  
• Maybe John Mayer likes Jessica Simpson's revealing outfits after all. We know the Fug Girls certainly don't. [Extra, GoFugYourself]
  
• The whales are heading home! The whales are heading home! [CNN]
  
• And the honeybees! They're back! (Kinda.) [CNN]