So here's the story: I met a dude who was visiting from Ireland at a bar. We went back to the place he was staying, and pretty much started having sex right away. I was on top of him — my back to his face — for a few minutes, rubbing myself with my fingers when I started to orgasm. I started to contract really hard and then all of a sudden, I felt all this fluid rushing out of me. It were as though his dick were a pin and popped a water balloon resting on the front wall of my vagina. At first I was gripped with fear, and thought I'd ruptured some sort of cyst. But there was no pain at all.

Then I could hear the guy behind me start laughing through his moans, adding, "Alright! I didn't know you were one of those." Obviously, neither had I.

In the years since, squirting (sometimes called gushing) has become a part of my sex life, although there is no predictability to it. I can't squirt on command, although there are better chances of it happening if some kind of penetration is going on. Sometimes the stuff squirts out in a split stream, sometimes it gushes wildly, sometimes it just falls out, and one time, when a dude was finger-banging me, it shot up in the air, and arched. The amount of fluid expelled also varies widely. Sometimes it's about a tablespoon or two, sometimes it can be up to a cup or two. It's actually a pain in the ass because it's just a big mess.

As for the fluid, it's not really piss. Here's an explanation from Wikipedia:

While current information offers no solid information about the source of the fluid, chemical analysis performed on the fluid has revealed that while it sometimes contains at least traces of urine, it regularly contains chemical markers unique to the prostate (whether male or female).

So where is this stuff coming from then? No one knows for certain, but the likely answer is the Skene's gland, which is located on the upper wall of the vagina, around the lower end of the urethra, and is said to also be the biological mechanism behind G-spot orgasms. It drains near the urethral opening. Check it out:

The first time I saw that diagram I was like, "Ahhh! More holes!?"

The Skene's gland thing would explain why penetration is needed for me to squirt: According to a study at the University of Italy, Skene's glands have "a highly variable anatomy, and in some extreme cases they appear to be missing entirely. If Skene's glands are the cause of female ejaculation and G-spot-orgasms, this may explain the observed absence of these phenomena in many women."

This, of course, would explain why some women believe female ejaculation is real (it is) and why no one should feel less sexually accomplished if it's never happened to them (it isn't something everyone can do). I'm still not entirely sure why it even happened to me; the best I can come up with is that as I grow older and more experienced, I'm just getting better at getting off. I definitely have way better orgasms now at 28 than I did at 18. It's just that now I have to have a towel on hand.

"Great Fountain Geyser" photo by Bookworm 1225 via Flickr

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You.]

• Wet 'N Wild is doing a line of mineral makeup. Thank you, Gods! Finally, a line of mineral makeup for the people who really are too drunk to wash their faces before bed and too old to feel comfortable doing this anymore and therefore willfully buy into the myth that mineral makeup won't seep into your pores in your sleep no matter how long it's been since you changed your pillowcase. Because I know a few of those people, and they definitely can't afford to shop at Sephora. [WWD]
  
• Oh noes! It is going to be a bad year for Volcom, according to an analyst. Volcom is like the Abercrombie & Fitch of skater boys and the girls who so desperately crave their affirmation, only their motto is "Youth Against Establishment" instead of "No Coloreds Allowed" or whatever. Confession: I secretly used to own some Volcom products. I just like the logo. Did I just admit that to you? Please forget that immediately. [Yahoo! Finance]

• It's also a bad season for the clothing companies that used to maybe appeal to your mom but somehow your mom is too cool for them anymore. Talbots is exiting some business, Chico's stock is in the shitter and Liz Claiborne is trying to unload its Ellen Tracy brand on someone because they're fucked too. [WSJ]
• But it was an awesome season for the world's premier purveyor of granny dresses and tapered stonewashed jeans! [Barron's]
• That fashion thief of London strikes again. Good heavens, where is the New Yorker piece on this person already? [WWD]
• A UK retail critic visits a Mexx store and finds a helpful staff but a website with "atrocious spelling." [Times of London]

We are HUGE fans of Wet N Wild cosmetics, particularly their Mega Liner liquid eyeliner which comes in a whole bunch of fabulous colors, and which unlike many other liquid eyeliners out there, is actually easy to use and won't leave you looking like Audrey Hepburn, should she ever have decided to become a clown.

We are also huge fans of free stuff, so we're heading over here to get us some loot.

[Freebies!]