A boy that is as dumb as a bag of rocks (no, seriously), but REALLY sweet and REALLY cute asked me out on a date. Since it wasn't officially a "date" I said yes but now I am very worried that I did the wrong thing since he is SO dumb. Adorable, sweet, yeah, we had a great conversation about faith, but it was clear in that conversation that he is just not that intelligent.
It's finals week here and we're about to go on break. I lent him my Snuggie (oh yes, I have a Snuggie) -- we are studying in a study building now and he thought it would be funny to take some pictures in it. So I took some pictures of him, we laughed, and we started talking about Christianity and stuff. I consider myself a Christian but I disagree with a lot of the way the church operates and interprets the Bible (I don't think he really does). His eyes basically lit up - it felt to me like he really didn't feel like he had someone he could discuss this with. So we talked for like, 2 hours, watched some youtube videos, and he seems like a REALLY nice and very attractive boy. But still. Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
Then when I was heading into my lounge to get a couple hours of sleep before hitting the books tomorrow he said, "Hey, do you want to see an a cappella show sometime?" This was sometime in the nebulous future of "next semester" so I said sure, why not? Part of it is that he is nice and cute and I need to get over RecentEx. I like, really need to get over RecentEx.
Then he kept bringing up new topics of conversation and I was like, dude, this is fun, I like to talk, I really have to freaking go to sleep. So I gather up my Snuggie and he's like wow how are you getting through the days? And I was like, Starbucks, lots and lots of it. And he was like, let's go to Starbucks tomorrow! So we made these plans to do so but A) I don't know if it was the right decision to say yes because of the aforementioned dumb thing and B) my friends are going to make fun of me SO HARDCORE for doing this.
@momentsofabsurdity: Dumb isn't necessarily bad. If you guys have everything in common except academic/intellectual interests, and you click well and have fun together, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't give him a try. You sound really happy and relaxed reminiscing about your single date, and he seems to be really interested in you -- in a good way. Honestly, his apparent efforts to find and develop common interests was pretty sweet, especially if he didn't seem like he was overreaching.
It's just a second date, to see if you guys click a little better. Sounds like the first date was a blast, so I'd say go right ahead and try it out. Nice and fun beats smart any day of the week in my book.
@momentsofabsurdity: Brains aren't everything, MOA. Character and funnies count, too. It's not like you're marrying the guy, or bonding for life. Go and have fun. If you DO have fun, do it again. Screw your friends and what they think, it's not their business.
@momentsofabsurdity: I say go on the date and see what happens.
Have fun and keep it casual. Maybe he'll show some hidden intellectual spark or you'll find that his sweet cuteness makes for a fun time that is worth the sound of the wind rushing between his ears. Dates are not relationships, and you don't always have to date serious candidates for Mr. momentsofabsurdity.
If you're not feeling it after your date, then just tell him.
He's cute, he asked you, and he hasn't shown any obvious signs of being an ass. Reasons enough to give it a shot.
If he truly turns out to be dumber than a bucket of hair, you have a funny anecdote to share with your friends. Teasing is half the fun.
@momentsofabsurdity: I was together with someone who's GORGEOUS but dumb as toast for about 6 months. I tried to overlook the dumbness, but became more and more annoyed with it, and I felt like an asshole for it. I felt disgusted with myself for how I treated this person, who was nice but dumb and totally didn't deserve my mental eye-rolls.
@momentsofabsurdity: Don't feel bad. You're young and single, and nobody said that you had to marry this guy. There's nothing wrong with just hanging out with/dating someone for fun. I would just recommend that you take it slow with this guy since you don't seem to be exactly sure what you want, and be honest. He doesn't want to get hurt just as much as you don't want someone to hurt you.
@momentsofabsurdity: My boyfriend is dumb. He's the nicest, sweetest, most attentive boyfriend EVER, but he's just not that smart. I can't exactly see us lasting forever, but it's been fun while it lasted.
@momentsofabsurdity: You repeat that you need to get over the ex. Sweet, cute boys who are reeeeeeeallllly into you can assist with that process. It wouldn't hurt to hang out for a bit and see how it goes. It kind of sounds like you do like him, dopey or no. Your friends can get over it, you're an adult and you can do what you want.
@momentsofabsurdity: Aww, I have a guy who's liked me since high school who sounds just like your dude -- tall, pretty, Clark-Kent-looking, motorcycle-riding firefighter -- and I've just never been able to make it work because he's just TOO dumb and sweet. The dumb worries me because I like intellectual conversation too much, and the sweet worries me because I tend to squash sweet boys under my heel like tiny bugs.
But if you can carry conversation and you enjoy his company and you don't think you'll end up hurting him or leading him on, then go for it! I don't see why not.
@salthegeek: Oh God. I am a lover of gin. In a serious way. Whiskey? I also love, but I had to learn the hard way that Whiskey is the devil. It's the devil in that it tastes delicious, and it's a good drunk, but it's the devil in that you don't know just how drunk you are until you get home from the bar after drinking a million scotch and sodas, feeling like a million bucks only to polish off the last 2 shots of your husbands really expensive 15 year old single malt, and then proceed to throw it up.
And then you throw up in the bathroom of your grad school the next day.
I said to a friend "God, I thought tequila was the devil." She responded "Oh no...tequila is the devil's mistress. Whiskey is the devil."
Nevertheless I still drink it, but I actively avoid getting drunk on it. Shudder....
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@salthegeek: There is NEVER too much gin, my friend. Pissing people off comes with the territory of being human. At least you are self aware enough to realise you are doing it. There are a whole hell of a lot of people out there who blithely go through life with no idea that they are shitting other people off.
@salthegeek: I've been dropping hints left and right about a PS3 for X-mas but I don't think it's gonna happen. So I content myself by watching the Zero Punctuation videos of all the games I could have had.
@sympathyforthebasementcat: It was a mixed bag. Overall it was ok, although seeing the guy I slept with a few times hitting on my sorority sister was annoying. Love, Actually was wonderful, but I'm kind of in a lonely mopey mood, and the scary wind outside isn't helping. But I got to see friends, so that was good. You?
@5ft of fury: It was great. Except I left my phane at my friends house. :(
I do love \Love ActuaLLY. I actually watched it last night at a Chanukah party. So I'm glad you got that. Guys suck. How does he not realize you're 5ft of awesome!|?
@5ft of fury: thanks. I hope you get the admiration of the guy you used to hook up with back soon, and get over your mopiness so you can list the reasons he doesnt deserve you.
@sympathyforthebasementcat: HA! Thanks. I don't really want his admiration. I just want him to stop shamelessly hitting on my sorority sisters in front of me. I'm much more concerned with the guy I hooked up with this summer, whose admiration I do want.
@sympathyforthebasementcat: Which guy (ha...therein may lie the source of my guy problems-too many, most of them being in the 18-24 age range?). The guy flirting with my sorority sister(s) is still at school. The guy I want to see lives back home and is about 10 years older. Things with him are fun, but kind of complicated because we both met up just wanting fun hook up times (which we both still want). But I'm worried I'll want more and I'm still at school and he's told me that currently he is not looking for monogamy-although he is open to the idea of dating. And possibly seriously dating someone again. But not right now. Ack. I need to stop overthinking shit with guys and just learn to accept that beer and pizza and sex and the Venture brothers might be the height of the relationship-and that's ok. Because all of those things are pretty cool in my book.
@5ft of fury: Guys are kinda difficult. I think most of them are kind of conditioned to not know what they want. (Because of societal definitions of what it means to be a man - but it's too late right now.) The guy 10 years older who still doesnt know what he wants? He's still not up to par with you. You could do better. In 10 years where will you be? Will you still be dating college aged kids and deciding where you want to be or will you be working hard and living hard with no regrets? Dating isn't like outlet shopping. You don't have to settle for something a little off.
@sympathyforthebasementcat: I know, I do occasionally wonder "Uh, you're (consistently) sleeping with women 10 years younger than you? Hm....this isn't a good sign about starting a serious relationship". However, as a non-serious relationship, hook up buddy/friend, he's great. Frankly, I might at this point take whatever mindblowing sex I can get. I'm starting to want a relationship and some sort of emotional connection, but not so much that I'm willing to stop sleeping with this guy. Yeah....I know that's bad. It looks bad as I type it. But it's the truth.
@5ft of fury: Hey no complaints here. Mindblowing sex is mindblowing sex. Not everything is satidfying forever, but have fun while you can. When you find someone worth moving forward with, you can evaluate then.
I've liked this guy since March. Liked him hard. Cry all the way home from work hard. Every time I think I'm over him, it starts over again. Despite the fact that he has a girlfriend now. And I just spent 50 bucks of graduation money on a purse so I could talk to him at his store. And he continues to be cute and nice and into the same things as me and it ruins my whole fucking day. Boo me.
Okay, I have a holiday themed questioned--I've been walking around Manhattan and am seeing drunk college students dressed as Santa everywhere. What gives? What did I miss? Is there a "free drinks" deal somewhere?
@maude_flanders: it's SantaCon. It's a huge bar crawl for people dressed as santas. We actually ran into a bar full of these drunken Santas at out little meet up today. It's kind of gross and they sing obscene xmas carols and get stinking drunk but there's apparently a charity component to it.
@Tippi Hedren: Make the schnapps. Or a smart eggnog. I've had that Gilda Radner smart eggnog clip in my head for weeks. Wish I could find it on youtube.
Hi Jezzies, do you have any good recommendations for makeup tutorial books (please list more than one if you can, what I'm asking for doesn't need to be crammed into one book)? I have a ton of makeup I want to put into use but I didn't have anybody teach me how to put it on when I was growing up. I'd prefer if they were recently published (as in 2000-present) and I'd like different looks to be included (natural, daytime, glamor/pin-up, nighttime, etc.). Hairstyling books too (including what products to use when curling hair)?
It emphasises her love of unconventional beauty (big noses, bushy eyebrows) and is very accesible for beginners. I don't wear makeup anymore but I used to use this book and loved it.
@kppontrucking: I just got Trish McEvoy's book "The Power of Makeup" and am liking it a lot. Also InStyle's "Getting Gorgeous." Both have good info and tutorials about getting different looks.
So, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I'm not going to go into the details because they're boring and complex, but basically at my school, seniors have the option of living in on-campus houses. They draw in with a group of their friends and live together for the remaining year. Of course, if you're smart, you figure all of this out first semester of junior year, but this can be very difficult because some of your friends might be abroad first semester and other friends will be abroad second semester.
My closest friend, who I've always wanted to live with, is going to be in a house with her freshman year room mate, who she's been best friends with since they said hello to each other. And that's fine. I put in a lot of leg work trying to figure out who needs a house and if they'll take me and there's a lot of drama because my other good friend is abroad right now and then there's someone who NO ONE wants to live with because he's just an emotional drain and I am fighting tooth and nail to not have to live with him. And now it turns out that all of the friends I've been trying to organize have made houses already. I almost feel a) abandoned and b) like a lot of my friendships are superficial. I know that's not really the case, but I'm just very frustrated right now. I mean, who the fuck wouldn't want to live with me? I'm funny, I'm respectful, I'm neat, and I'm a good cook. Hmph.
I am watching "Law and Order SVU" and I just swooned when Captain Cragen released a monkey that was being smuggled inside of a basketball and cooed to it like it was a baby.
That's all.
@Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux: I love that episode! Someone gets eaten by hyenas, which was terrifying, but Capt. Cragen with the monkey...made me emotional.
@CraftyBroad: That's what surprised me! I have a massive Stabler crush, (and maybe a teeny Munch one as well) but the Captain had never made me feel....all kittenish before.
@rodmanstreet: That is awesome.. I mean, advertising can be so inventive, particuarly when it goes the participate-y route. When it's well done it's pratically an art form.
@jigglyball: Local pizzerias. It's got chopped up chicken cutlet pieces and lots of mozzarella and tomato sauce. I don't know if they do it at Domino's or Pizza Hut or the other big chains. But you could make it yourself!
@rodmanstreet: Where is local? I'm on the West Coast, and they don't know pizza out here. But that sounds amazing, so I think I'll make it myself. I should have hearted you long ago, but you are now hearted for your hilarious art posting that I mistook for a pizza.
@jigglyball: Local is Jersey. I'm sure if you're nice to your local pizza guys they'll chop up some chicken and make a pizza for you. Hearted back for extended pizza-related conversation.
@wynniepiglet: I have never even heard of Regents Pizza! I'll definitely pay them a visit. I love Pizza Port, but I think the beer is better than the pizza.
I'm addicted to you. I compose comments for you in calculus instead of deriving inverse trig derivatives. I check my followers constantly. I obsessively refresh the front page hoping for replies.
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It's finals week here and we're about to go on break. I lent him my Snuggie (oh yes, I have a Snuggie) -- we are studying in a study building now and he thought it would be funny to take some pictures in it. So I took some pictures of him, we laughed, and we started talking about Christianity and stuff. I consider myself a Christian but I disagree with a lot of the way the church operates and interprets the Bible (I don't think he really does). His eyes basically lit up - it felt to me like he really didn't feel like he had someone he could discuss this with. So we talked for like, 2 hours, watched some youtube videos, and he seems like a REALLY nice and very attractive boy. But still. Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
Then when I was heading into my lounge to get a couple hours of sleep before hitting the books tomorrow he said, "Hey, do you want to see an a cappella show sometime?" This was sometime in the nebulous future of "next semester" so I said sure, why not? Part of it is that he is nice and cute and I need to get over RecentEx. I like, really need to get over RecentEx.
Then he kept bringing up new topics of conversation and I was like, dude, this is fun, I like to talk, I really have to freaking go to sleep. So I gather up my Snuggie and he's like wow how are you getting through the days? And I was like, Starbucks, lots and lots of it. And he was like, let's go to Starbucks tomorrow! So we made these plans to do so but A) I don't know if it was the right decision to say yes because of the aforementioned dumb thing and B) my friends are going to make fun of me SO HARDCORE for doing this.
What do I do??
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It's just a second date, to see if you guys click a little better. Sounds like the first date was a blast, so I'd say go right ahead and try it out. Nice and fun beats smart any day of the week in my book.
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Have fun and keep it casual. Maybe he'll show some hidden intellectual spark or you'll find that his sweet cuteness makes for a fun time that is worth the sound of the wind rushing between his ears. Dates are not relationships, and you don't always have to date serious candidates for Mr. momentsofabsurdity.
If you're not feeling it after your date, then just tell him.
He's cute, he asked you, and he hasn't shown any obvious signs of being an ass. Reasons enough to give it a shot.
If he truly turns out to be dumber than a bucket of hair, you have a funny anecdote to share with your friends. Teasing is half the fun.
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But if you can carry conversation and you enjoy his company and you don't think you'll end up hurting him or leading him on, then go for it! I don't see why not.
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And then you throw up in the bathroom of your grad school the next day.
I said to a friend "God, I thought tequila was the devil." She responded "Oh no...tequila is the devil's mistress. Whiskey is the devil."
Nevertheless I still drink it, but I actively avoid getting drunk on it. Shudder....
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OR become unkillable and be Captain Jack from Torchwood.
See, it's not so bad!
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Did you have a good night?
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I do love \Love ActuaLLY. I actually watched it last night at a Chanukah party. So I'm glad you got that. Guys suck. How does he not realize you're 5ft of awesome!|?
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*scuttles under baseboards*
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Btw, why aren't you on the basement?
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I've liked this guy since March. Liked him hard. Cry all the way home from work hard. Every time I think I'm over him, it starts over again. Despite the fact that he has a girlfriend now. And I just spent 50 bucks of graduation money on a purse so I could talk to him at his store. And he continues to be cute and nice and into the same things as me and it ruins my whole fucking day. Boo me.
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Answered my own question...Santacon...
One more drunken holiday themed event I've been in the dark on, sigh
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[nycsantacon.com]
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It emphasises her love of unconventional beauty (big noses, bushy eyebrows) and is very accesible for beginners. I don't wear makeup anymore but I used to use this book and loved it.
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My closest friend, who I've always wanted to live with, is going to be in a house with her freshman year room mate, who she's been best friends with since they said hello to each other. And that's fine. I put in a lot of leg work trying to figure out who needs a house and if they'll take me and there's a lot of drama because my other good friend is abroad right now and then there's someone who NO ONE wants to live with because he's just an emotional drain and I am fighting tooth and nail to not have to live with him. And now it turns out that all of the friends I've been trying to organize have made houses already. I almost feel a) abandoned and b) like a lot of my friendships are superficial. I know that's not really the case, but I'm just very frustrated right now. I mean, who the fuck wouldn't want to live with me? I'm funny, I'm respectful, I'm neat, and I'm a good cook. Hmph.
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That's all.
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BF also reminds me that Pizza Port is ok, too.
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I'm addicted to you. I compose comments for you in calculus instead of deriving inverse trig derivatives. I check my followers constantly. I obsessively refresh the front page hoping for replies.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Love and Regards,
Wynn
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[blogs.chron.com]
#groupthink
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