P.S. No animals were drugged in the making of this video.

Earlier: Dr. Ruth Personally Advises Us On Period Sex

P.S. No animals were drugged in the making of this video.

• While Justin Timberlake was working with Madonna on her album, Madge offered JT a B-12 shot. "She proceeds to pull a Ziploc bag of B-12 syringes out [of her purse] and says, 'Drop 'em.' I don't know what you say to that, so I immediately dropped my pants," Justin says. "She gave me a shot in my ass and looks at me and says, 'Nice top shelf.' That was one of the greatest days of my life." [People]
  
• Last night, Madonna was been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Music. Makes the people. Come together. Music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel. [Mirror]
  
• A source calls Lindsay Lohan's new friends "leeches." Maybe LL is used to that? CoughmommyDinacoughcough? [Page Six]
  
• Dina Lohan on her show, Living Lohan, which begins shooting on the 16th and will air around Memorial Day on E!: "Be nice to us." [Gatecrasher]
  
• "I may be Eccentric, i certainly speak my mind and am slow to put out a record i need to mean the world to ME, and im sure i am quite Nuerotic [sic] but 'Bi Polar'. Thats just slander." — Courtney Love. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Yeah, yeah, we know. Patricia Heaton has no belly button. [TMZ]

• On her MySpace page, Brooke Hogan speaks out against her friend who had a fling with her father, Hulk Hogan: "I think she shoulda thought about what kinda press she was gonna get when she slept with her best friend's famous father . . . I think we're all seeing just exactly how karma works Christiane. Nothing you say will ever put my family back together." [Page Six]
• Superbad star Jonah Hill: Smokes his weed out of an apple bong. Just like Charlize! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which 8-year-old son of a daytime TV personality told gossip reporters on the red carpet that he had recently come down from bed to find his famous mom drinking margaritas on the terrace? 'She told me she was going to do the dishes, but she lied to me!' the tyke complained earnestly." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which clean-cut pop star is a jerk behind closed doors? When a top model accidentally sat on his jacket at a recording studio, the warbler sprinted over and demanded she move immediately." [Rush & Molloy]
• Britney's lawyers are trying to get Kevin Federline to pay his own legal bills; K-Fed pleads poverty — despite recently tipping a waitress $2000 on a $365 bill. Being a bad-ass baby daddy is expensive! [Rush & Molloy]
• Meanwhile, Britney may get some financial independence back: A judge ruled that Dad Jamie can give her a debit card that has a $1500 per week limit on it. [TMZ]
• American Idol alum Sanjaya appeared at a Bat Mitzvah on Long Island and sang two songs — for free. Oy. [TMZ]
• Jessica Simpson does not have her pricey hairdresser with her in Kuwait; she flew a commercial airline and not a private jet, and she is staying in the barracks. "She has significantly scaled back her entourage," he rep says. Just so you know. [People]
• Project Runway winner Christian Siriano says the Saturday Night Live skit in which Amy Poehler does an impression of him was "SO FUNNY. The hair was absolutely perfect. I don't think I could have done it better myself. It was fierce!" [People]
• Mark Ronson will notbe DJing Suri Cruise's second birthday party. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." [ONTD]
• Aww! Emma Watson, aka Hermione Granger, has a new boyfriend. "We've only been going out together for three weeks, but it's brilliant at the moment." [Mirror]
• Uh, this paper claims Jennifer Aniston has dumped her man, Brian Bouma, a crew member on a film she was working on. Did you even know they were seeing each other? Wasn't she with Jason Lewis? [Mirror]
• James McAvoy says Angelina Jolie was rough with him in their new film, Wanted: "She kicked seven colors of poo out of me but, thankfully, I'm still in one piece." [Mirror]
• "Cheeky" photographs of Gisele Bundchen and Kate Moss are being auctioned off. And by cheeky we mean naked. [The Sun]
• HBO has ordered 13 episodes of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, a show based on the best-selling books. Singer Jill Scott stars! [Concrete Loop]
• Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch is in ruins. The Ferris wheel has rusted, the mansion has broken windows and the paint is peeling. The perfect set for a horror film! [The Sun]
• Rosie O'Donnell and Kathy Griffin made a video where they talk about Barbara Walters, lube, Helen Mirren, etc. [Perez Hilton]
• Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis is free. He's out of a Nevada jail and headed to Florida, where he'll face charges related to filming underaged girls. [USA Today]
• Janet Jackson is co-writing a book about her journey as an "emotional eater." Um, yay? [Reuters]
• Tori Spelling has a book, too! It's called Stori Telling, of course. She talks about her nose job, boob job, a passionless marriage and trouble with her mother. Also: When her dad died, she only got $800,000 of his estimated $500 million fortune. [USA Today]
• Van Halen continues to postpone shows as Eddie Van Halen continues to undergo tests for an undislosed medical condition. [Reuters]
• Gene Simmons: Bald. [Seriously OMG WTF]

Okay, so this is the graphic that I wanted to use instead of the Lucy one, as the still for the video, but Anna liked Lucy better. What do you think of it?

Dear Slut Machine, What do you do when you realize the person you've been sleeping with is a douche bag misogynist? Not quite at the level of Paul Janka, but still a douche. I've "dumped" him and cut him off, but what else can I do?

t feels like putting a glass bottle in the trash only to realize there's a recycling bin a few feet away, and you're like, "Had I known, I would not have contributed to this environmental problem!" You know? My usual solution, pissing on the asshole's mattress, won't work here. Help!

Dear Slut Machine, If I get high and eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's, but then wake up the next morning and don't remember doing it, do the calories still count?

Dear Slut Machine, I've been dating this guy for a little over a week. But we're in college and it's reading week (a vacation of no classes before finals) so we've been spending tons of time together. Last night, however, things got a little out of hand. And I plead not guilty to having instigated any of it. We went so far as to start having sex, but he stopped halfway through saying we were going too fast. I am at a school where most people haven't even had their first kisses yet, so I can understand why a guy would react like this in this particular social context. He freaked out, said he doesn't do this until he's "in love", I freaked out, and then I basically bolted. Now I'm not sure what to do or say. We are in a lot of classes together and involved in a couple of activities. So he will naturally be in my life for the next two and a half years. Oh, and we were completely sober during this whole ordeal. What do I do?

Dear Slut Machine, I'm gonna get hate on this, but I'm in love with my best friend's boyfriend. We've had sex twice, and text message everyday. Keep in mind he is also my boyfriend's best friend. We don't think what we do with each other has much to do with them. Are we (meaning we are all close, like everyday talk kind of close, on) totally gross and fooling ourselves?

Dear Slut Machine, I have a crush on my guy friend's roommate. I'm tempted to tell my friend that I heart his roommate, but I'd rather handle my own business. How do I go about showing his roommate that I'm interested without using my friend as a middle-man?

Orchestrate a situation (without making it seem like an orchestration) where you guys are all together at a time you think you will all get drunk. Like, drunk drunk. It'll work itself out from there. If they don't drink, then I can't imagine them being fun to hang out with, so you should just fuck the roommate and then peace on them both. If you don't drink, then maybe you should, if you're having problems like this. Happy holidays!

Dear Slut Machine, There is a young gentleman whose company I enjoy greatly; he seems favorably disposed toward me, as he tends to compliment my pink hair and biker boots. However, I fret over the possibility that I have given him the wrong impression of me. I typically see this particular gentleman at dinner parties hosted by our respective churches. I generally am somewhat more ladylike in these situations than usual, as my clergywoman has expressed disapproval of the f-bomb and I do so like to please her. I have also been somewhat less ebullient than I ordinarily am over the past few months; my father has been ill and I have been worried. Also, as a respected pillar of the community and president of one of the organizations which host these events, I feel the need to keep the conversation flowing between all attendees. As a result, I fear that I may have inadvertently given him the impression that I was uninterested in what he had to say when we last saw each other a fortnight ago by jumping into another conversation...or four. I do have a definite tendency toward being overly self-protective and trying to avoid having others know of my crushes, which may have been the reason for my pointless exercises in ignoring the gentleman whom I think of quite constantly when we're not in the same room. What is the appropriate etiquette for apologizing for these indiscretions and subtly indicating that one is romantically inclined toward another? Further, any suggestions as to how I might get him away from the formal environs of church without having 15 other college students going, "Ooooooooooh!" about it and gossiping?

But listen, do you remember that retarded book that Paris Hilton wrote, Confessions of an Heiress? (The subhead for it was something like "tongue-in-chic" if that gives you any idea about it.) Anyway, she actually gave a tip on how to live that I found strangely useful and kind of wise. "Tell people what they want to hear, and then do what you want." So that's what you should do. Act like Paris Hilton. Act like someone that is not a respected pillar of the community.

Dear Slut Machine, What's the right response when a close friend asks you what you think of their potential or new or soon-to-be-ex boyfriend/girlfriend? Regardless of what I think, it seems like I'm always put on the spot to say exactly what she/he wants to hear.

Dear Slut Machine, How do I nicely, and without sounding like my mother, tell my boyfriend that his table manners suck?