At My Wedding Twitterring And Facebooking At The Altar [YouTube]

Khloe's mom Kris took on the planning of the event and, in the process, tried to influence Khloe to opt for a color scheme that was more flattering to herself; decided that the meal would be steak (which Khloe doesn't eat); and dominated the wedding registry with her own selections, including silverware priced at $750 per setting, which, Khloe pointed out, her friends would never be able to afford.


Bruce Jenner, Khloe's stepdad, wasn't very enthusiastic about the engagement when he first learned about it (on the evening news), but came around eventually. He gave a really touching toast at the rehearsal dinner, and teared up when discussing the promise he made to Khloe's late father.


Kim managed to get over herself and decided that she was going to support Khloe, but there still seemed to be a bit of tension there.


All was forgiven, though, when Khloe basically handed the bouquet toss to Kim.

• New data from Britain shows that the number of violent crimes committed by women has risen 81% in the last decade. Conservative politicians suggest that this is directly linked to a rise in binge drinking, which doesn't fully explain why the article is illustrated with a picture of a woman passed out drunk on a park bench. •  A woman spent her wedding night in a Spanish jail cell after she grabbed a cop by his neck and slapped him. The police officer was attempting to break up a fight that had broken out between members of the bride's family and relatives of the groom. We think this would make a great (read: horrible) rom-com, very Bridezillas meets Romeo and Juliet. • According to a recent study, pregnant lesbians are sick of being treated differently than heterosexual mothers. Researchers found that most lesbian couples have felt frustrated at some point or another with the uncomfortable way that midwives and doctors dealt with them. • Experts have disproved claims that Ida, a fossil recently discovered in Germany, was the missing piece that would link the evolutionary roots of monkeys, apes, and humans. In fact, Ida is the "about as far removed from the monkey-ape-human ancestry as a primate could be." • 

What is it about Staten Island weddings that drive people into insanity and a deluded sense of entitlement? In this clip, Karen explains her state of mind, "Thinking is a waste of time."

Earlier: Vintage True Life: Staten Island Wedding

There must be amazing stories about offices full of ridiculously priced gowns; mysteriously "missing" Waterford crystal vases; hilariously awful reader letters; Vegas photo shoots gone awry and cake ideas no one would ever really dare to serve guests. Former staffers: Time to fess up! Email me at dodai@jezebel.com with your tales. I'll keep you anonymous, and you can finally get that story about the "misplaced" engagement ring off your chest.

Note: If your story is particularly juicy, we're open to publishing it as freelance contribution — and will offer a fee.

Well, yeah, kind of. As I noted earlier in this morning's Dirt Bag, Kardashian and her sisters have earned over one million dollars over the past few months, thanks mostly to Khloe's wedding and Kourtney's pregnancy. Khloe and Kourtney have been particularly visible over the past few months, which makes me laugh, as I secretly think they're on a neverending mission to upstage Kim, who is clearly the Marcia Brady of the fam.

The Kardashians, despite what you may think of them based on their various reality shows, aren't idiots when it comes to working the system: Khloe's wedding has been breathlessly followed by celebrity magazines who will jump on anything remotely wedding related, no matter who is involved, and they're willing to shill out the money to get their hands on the prized pictures of Khloe's ring, or her rehearsal dinner, or her floral arrangement, or what have you. It helps that she's marrying LA Lakers star Lamar Odom, but seriously, my toothbrush could be getting married to my shoe, and as long as they were once featured on a reality show, they'd probably get a front page post on USWeekly's site. Don't believe me? The top headline on People magazine's site right this moment is an exclusive about the wedding of American Idol runner up Justin Guarini. Stop the presses!

It's irritating to me that dumb celebrity weddings are still the money makers they were a few years ago, that even in a recession people are willing to pay for shots of a D-list reality star cutting a cake and showing off her enormous ring. It's also irritating to me that Kardashian spoke out against Prop 8 but seemingly has no issues with making her wedding the biggest deal ever.

On the other hand, it's also irritating to me that I've been programmed to yell "Fake!" whenever something like this comes around (or that I care at all) , and that despite Kardashian and Odom's claims that they are happy and in love, I see it all as a dumb stunt that, if it goes according to the D-List celebrity playbook, will just end up another high profile celebrity divorce that's played out for cash, much like Page Six and TMZ are reporting Kardashian's wedding will be. Maybe I'm wrong and they'll live happily ever after. But at a time when the country is dealing with a recession and when people are denied the right to marry, I'm getting a little sick of being invited to the extravagant and doomed weddings of reality stars. I know we all need to escape into the absurd once in a while, but I think it may be time to start rejecting these invitations.

It's Not Too Late To Turn Over Prop 8!!! [Khloe Kardashian]
American Idol's Justin Guarini Marches Down The Aisle [People]
No Keeping Up With Their $$ [PageSix]
Lamar Wants Prenup, But There's A Problem [TMZ]

Though it may be true that Hendricks' "red hair and curvy figure are as integral to the stylish '60s-based drama as bullet bras and scotch," we didn't need a reminder that she, "does not simply walk across a room; she sashays. Her hips pivot and sway while the rest of her body comes along for the ride." It would have been nice to see Hendricks portrayed as just a beautiful woman frolicking in a wedding gown, rather than dwelling on her body shape as if she's the only woman with boobs and hips to ever get married.

Could the media's fixation on Hendricks' body be why she's reportedly on a diet? "She already looks amazing, but you know, before you get married you want to look the absolute best. I don't know what she's doing," co-star January Jones told People last night, adding, "I think she looks beautiful. Her body is amazing... My only advice is to not go too far, because if she loses her curves it will be a very sad day." So true! And when Betty Draper is telling you not to watch your figure, you'd better listen.

We didn't get to see Joan's wedding on Mad Men, which may be for the best, since knowing she was marrying a rapist would have marred our enjoyment of the ceremony.

In real life, Hendricks is marrying the delightful Geoffrey Arend, who appeared in 500 Days of Summer (and voiced Charles "Upchuck" Ruttheimer III on Daria). They met through a mutual friend, Mad Men's Vincent Kartheiser. Let's hope Hendricks doesn't fall victim to "The Curse of the InStyle Wedding" like so many previous cover subjects.

Arend proposed in their apartment under a newly-installed chandelier Hendricks had been trying to buy from the owner of her favorite New York restaurant for years. They'll be getting married at the restaurant, which she says is "small and romantic and rustic and intimate, like it's in someone's home in Italy," and hiring a gypsy band. None of those details really fit the mag's description of a "retro" wedding. Though the rest of are obsessed with Mad Men, we imagine that for Hendricks that would be like having an office-themed wedding.

Hendricks admission that "before I met Geoffrey marriage just wasn't that important to me," seems to confuse the InStyle Weddings interviewer who marvels, "does that mean you never dreamt about being a bride?" She explains that though she is a lady, she actually hasn't spent the past 34 years obsessively planning her wedding. "At one point, probably in my Goth days, I thought I would throw a big costume ball, something dramatic," she says, "Now I'm like 'Eh... they just did that on Gossip Girl.'"

The rest of Hendricks' interview is in the current issue of InStyle Weddings.

January Jones Hopes Christina Hendricks Doesn't Lose Her Curves [People]
Earlier: Something Blue

[Los Angeles, September 9. Image via Getty]

Homeless woman Gwen Whitmore waits for her 99 cent wedding ceremony at the 99 cent store in Los Angeles on September 9, 2009. The budget supermarket chain helped nine happy California couples beat the recession blues by offering cut-price wedding ceremonies — for just 99 cents each. The 99 Cents Only Stores chain is picking up the tab for nine couples at its branch on Sunset Boulevard in the heart of Hollywood on Wednesday to mark the ninth day of the nine month in 2009. After getting hitched, the nine couples were handed 99 dollars and 99 cents in cash before being whisked off to an undisclosed 'famous romantic Los Angeles' location. AFP PHOTO/Mark RALSTON (Photo credit should read MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images)

Update: Corey Aldridge, new husband of Ms. Whitmore, has sent us an email explaining that the Getty Images caption above is incorrect; Ms. Whitmore is not homeless, never has been, and in fact, is a home owner. We have advised Getty Images of their mistake and apologize for any bad feelings that came from the quoting of their caption.

Says the Washington Post,

If Chelsea Clinton is getting married on Martha's Vineyard in the next 10 days — and some chatty islanders plus the National Enquirer insist that she is — it should help to have a former commander in chief, a current secretary of state and a brigade of Secret Service agents acting as her co-conspirators. Though they've never confirmed an engagement, rumor has it that Bill and Hillary Clinton's 29-year-old daughter will wed longtime boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky at the estate of Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen, or some other family friend's estate, either this weekend or next. Or not.

The antics necessary to keep such an arrangement shrouded in the requisite secrecy - think a lot of document-shredding, aliases, and security companies. As the piece says, "Paper invitations are the ultimate liability." Your only chance is the top-secret getaway, the "decoy" trip, the "haha it's not a barbecue it's actually a wedding!" Because if these wedding planners are pros, the paparazzi are more than their match. "They'll go to bizarre, great lengths," says planner Mindy Weiss.

Upon reading this, I immediately thought: Hello Rom-Com! It's like The Wedding Planner meets Notting Hill meets some combination of 27 Dresses and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Picture it: a control-freak wedding planner famed for her discretion ("they tell me you're the best," people will tell her repeatedly) is planning the nuptials of Brangelina-level celebrities. Meanwhile, charming reprobate paparrazo has to get the shots or get fired/not get a promotion. Obviously, he must infiltrate. But she's wise to him, and a series of tricks and false leads and red herrings ensues as they match wits and the sexual tension grows. Can they trust each other?
Can she relinquish control? Can he trust his emotions? Obviously the celeb couple engages in many comic-relief shenanigans, too. There may be a gay colleague thrown in, because. Haven't yet decided whether she has a stuffed-shirt boss or if she's too uptight and asexual to attract anyone until paparazzo loosens her up. The only thing I haven't figured out it...will true love prevail?

Keep Celeb Vows Veiled In Secrecy? It's No Snap [Washington Post]