wedding-industrial complex

posts about #weddingindustrialcomplex more →
Hell's Bells
Bride & Prejudice
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Chicago Gay Bars Seek To End A Scourge
Bride Wars: Recessionistas Strip Wedding Dresses From Superstore
Why Do Audiences Love "Here Comes The Crazy Bride" Movies?
The Knot At Its End?
The Washington Post's Wedding Week Incites A "Bridal Wave" Of Ambivalence
Has Wedding-Bashing Jumped The Shark?
7 Ways Weddings Can Actually Be Fun

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la.donna.pietra
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
David's Bridal has, hands down, the worst online customer service reviews of any business in any industry. I include used car dealers in that assessment. Scared me right into the loving embrace of a local bridal shop (I Do, I Do in Albuquerque, in case any of you Southwestern Jezzies are interested). The 88-year-old owner cheerfully let me try on a half-dozen dresses and then ordered the one I had my heart set on from online shopping. The entire process took about an hour and was extremely low-key.

Finding the *shoes* for the damn wedding has been another story entirely.
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la.donna.pietra
06/12/09

@la.donna.pietra: Clarification: I spent the evening before dress shopping with a bottle of wine and a zillion wedding dress sites. For added amusement, I sent some of the worst pictures to my bridesmaids (for that traditional trying-dresses-on experience, but long-distance and without the need to actually view myself in the aforementioned monstrosities.) Some of them were epically bad. I also found some decent dresses, one of which I really liked. The bridal shop was the local dealer for that particular label and was able to custom-order the dress for me, as it was from the previous year's collection.

I strongly recommend this approach.
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heywhat
06/12/09

@la.donna.pietra: You've never had an account with Bank of America or have cable with Comcast. They're horrendous.
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la.donna.pietra
06/12/09

@heywhat: Actually, I *have* had an account with BofA. They sold my branch to Sanwa and didn't notify me or any of the other 3000 account holders. I found out when my rent check bounced (as my BofA account had closed) and my apartment complex tried to evict me and my two housemates. BofA's response was to tell me that they had notified me that my account (and all the money in it) was about to disappear. Sanwa's response was to apologize and let me know that BofA had sent them 3000 accountholders' information with bad ZIP codes.

In terms of actual customer service experience, BofA takes the cake for misery. As a result, I tend to be obsessive about checking out businesses before giving them money. Hence the careful analysis of David's Bridal.
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We Don't Live in the 60s
06/12/09

@la.donna.pietra: I went the local route here in New Orleans. My David's Bridal experience was really bad. I work in retail management and if any of my employees treated a customer like I was treated they would be brought into the office to talk about better ways to interact. Basically I went dress shopping by myself so that I could get a feel for what I really liked before I brought mom and my sisters for the final choice, and the girl was really snotty to me about shopping alone and how it was sad that I didn't have people with me. Lonely brides are lonely etc.

That said my dress came from one local shop (sample sale ftw), my veil from another, and I really like a bridesmaid dress at yet another local store. It's not the convenience of one stop does it all, but I also don't find myself grinding my teeth.
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la.donna.pietra
06/12/09

@We Don't Live in the 60s: Yeah, I don't get it. I've read so many stories similar to yours--snotty, rude salespeople actively trying to alienate customers--and I don't understand how they stay in business. Add to that the number of people who hear horrible things either from acquaintances or online, and it's a wonder anyone ever goes within 100 feet of their store entrances.
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Mediokra
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
I just went to a David's Bridal to pick up a bridesmaid dress and ... well, the quote about groceries sounds kinda horrible, but I know exactly what the writer meant.

That being said, my friend got her absolutely stunning dress there for about $200. Amazing.
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applejuice
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
The staff at the David's Bridal my sister recently went to were jerky as, well, beef jerky! While there were a couple dresses she liked she found them INCREDIBLY pushy and rude, saying things like EVERY BRIDE buys a dress on their first visit, and really pressuring her to buy one RIGHT THEN. She was just very unpleasant all around.

In contrast she went to a smll locally owned shop and found them sooo nice and helpful. She found a couple dresses she really liked there that were VERY reasonably priced and based on her lovely experience she is going back to buy one there.

Why do people think the hard sell works?
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Laulau
06/12/09

@applejuice: Hard sells must work a good deal of the time, because so many people are trained to do them, but I completely agree. Even I really like something (clothing, computer, whatever), my brain shuts down once someone starts pushing something on me and I go into flight mode. It's basically a visceral response.
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Lymed
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
That looks like a bad copy of my wedding dress.
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Lymed
06/12/09

@Lymed: Geez, my comment sounded snobby. Sorry. I really think it is the way the veil is floating behind her and the light is shining that brought out that reaction.
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morninggloria
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
You know what? If you don't do with your wedding exactly what I want you to do, then fuck you. I am righteously indignant. Everyone's wedding should be the same, and I should okay every single choice that every man or woman makes in planning his or her wedding.
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electrogeek77
06/12/09

@morninggloria: Mother-in-law, is that you?
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morninggloria
06/12/09

@electrogeek77: Your business is of my utmost concern.
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la.donna.pietra
06/12/09

@electrogeek77: Apparently Mr. Pietra has a brother he doesn't know about who you are engaged to.
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SpasticFurchild
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
After reading yesterday's Etsy post, I totally know where I'm going for my future (if ever) wedding dress.
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ihateyourescalade
06/12/09

@SpasticFurchild: @ihateyourescalade: Oops, I forgot. Or buy vintage. Or used.
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tscheese
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
The article is actually pretty positive regarding the David's Bridal business model. It's always best to support local dressmakers, of course, but good lord, I hadn't the slightest idea that wedding dresses cost so much. Am I supposed to feel guilty for shopping at, say, Target, instead of a local boutique?
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tscheese
06/12/09

@tscheese: ...And yes, I would totally get married in something from Target. I am just. That. Gauche.
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SpasticFurchild
06/12/09

@tscheese: Um, Target is the shit. Also, my Target is currently being remodeled into a Supertarget. Warring emotions: sad because we right now have no Target, happy because come October, we will have a SUPER AWESOME KICKASS TARGET!!!!!!
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Majrhoulihan
06/12/09

@tscheese: If you're not looking for say, 500,000 hand-bead crystals, dressmakers can actually be a good option. They can be cost effective you support local business (most likely, a woman-run business). I know a woman who designs and makes wedding dresses for a living. She custom-made a costume for me for a play I was in, and I have never felt so wonderful in a piece of clothing. "It was made for me" really is an amazing feeling.
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DangerMouse
06/12/09

@SpasticFurchild: I miss having a SuperTarget around. Some day it's just going to expand into SuperWonderMagicTarget, complete with bridal collection for tscheese.
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ihateyourescalade
06/12/09

@tscheese: Even better, buy on Etsy. Or get a local dressmaker to custom-sew something for you. You have supported a local business, taken a stand on sweatshop labor (the reason why mass-market stuff is so cheap), and you get something one-of-a-kind.
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tscheese
06/12/09

@DangerMouse: Oh, I wasn't even planning on picking out something particularly bridal-looking. I would probably wear a suiting set from the misses' section, or some $29.99 cotton sundress that I bleached with a couple of $2 boxes of RIT dye remover.

I am very classy.
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willwriteforfood
06/12/09

@tscheese: My sister-in-law bought her wedding dress from Target.com for $99. She loved it. And that is why my family loves her.
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morninggloria
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
I have to wear this horrific one shoulder black floor length number from David's Bridal for my brother's wedding this summer. No, the wedding is not at night. It's in the country. During the day. At the end of July.

I have an ongoing beef with that store, for having that shitty, shitty dress.
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Lymed
06/12/09

@morninggloria: I got to wear a very simple red tea length, spaghetti strap dress from David's Bridal for my brother's wedding. Most of the dresses there scared me, but I was really happy the bride found something so simple.
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WantToTouchtheWahine
06/12/09

@morninggloria: Yep, they were also responsible for the full ball-gowned, black Bride of Frankenstein strapless ensemble I was instructed to wear for an outside wedding. In Dallas. In September.

I so dropped out of that wedding.

But yeah, I'm sure they carry some nice things.
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Laulau
06/12/09

@morninggloria: I have an ongoing beef with the wedding industry for convincing people that floor length gowns of really any description, let alone what are clearly evening gowns, are appropriate for morning or afternoon weddings. I am not normally a stickler for etiquette, so I'm not sure what this is about.

But don't even get me started that time I had to find something to wear to an afternoon wedding, in January, in Maryland. During a blizzard.
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jigglyball
06/12/09

@morninggloria: Black floor-length at an outdoor, summer wedding? Clearly, your brother has never been a woman. Then again, he has to wear a tux...

My roommate just got engaged, and has already informed me that she's going to pick a color and give us the option of cut. I love her.
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Porcelina
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
Gross. I am having my wedding dress custom made for me, based on my own design, and it's only $300.
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Laulau
06/12/09

@Porcelina: I can't believe how much the industry expects you to spend on these gowns, but still you must know must know a very trustworthy seamstress and have gotten a decent deal on the fabric. I think the fabric alone to recover my mother's couch was more than that.
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Maritsa
06/12/09

@Porcelina: What's "gross" about it? David's Bridal is a hell of a lot more affordable than most other bridal places, including any custom place I've ever heard of. Congrats on your great deal and all, but my dress cost about the same and was lovely and simple, just what I wanted. A friend got an antique-looking tea-length dress that everyone assumed was pricey, from David's.
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Porcelina
06/12/09

@Maritsa: I was saying gross about the quote: "pick through the dresses like they're shopping for groceries,"

It just struck me as really....I dunno. I don't like the way it sounds.
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Laulau
06/12/09

@Porcelina: I definitely took you to be saying gross about the crazy conspicuous consumption bent of the article.

And great job getting the dress you want at a reasonable price! I'm very impressed by your legwork.
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queenieinmanhattan
06/12/09

@Porcelina: I don't like it because it implies that people pick through stuff when they grocery shop. People like that are the type who think they need to squeeze tomatoes really hard to see if they're ripe, and who therefore end in leaving a whole bunch of bruised, nasty tomatoes behind.

But I don't find David's Bridal gross (though the one person I know who got their dress there picked one with nasty fabric and that fit poorly - obviously they also carry nice stuff too, but this dress was a horror). My sister-in-law bought her dress at the Kleinfeld's sample sale. She's British and very polite, so I was the one who dove in and grabbed dresses off the rack from her. It was fun.
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kityglitr
06/13/09

@Porcelina: Gross for you, maybe. I live in a REALLY small area. 5 hours north of San Francisco to be exact. There is ONE bridal shop in town, and it sucks. I've trolled Craigslist and consulted with every local seamstress... no one can make the dress I want for less than $600. So screw it, I'm buying mine from Nordstrom online, then I'll dip dye it and make it awesome.
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AthertonMerriweather
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
Almost everyone I know bought their dress at David's....and they weren't easy on the wallet. They have some beautiful stuff there. What's the big deal?
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artyfarty
06/12/09

@AthertonMerriweather: They carry a lot of different sizes and most boutique bridal shops only have teeny sizes to try on. You can find a good deal there as well. I bought my dress there for $250 and it was very cool.
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AthertonMerriweather
06/12/09

@artyfarty: I meant "what's the big deal" about looking down on David's Bridal. From what I've seen, they have lovely dresses at all different price ranges. I don't get the smugness is all.
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NefariousNewt
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
It's amazing the extent to which women go to buy these lavish gowns, which they wear once, then basically go ion a box, never to be seen again, unless they happen to hand them down to their daughters for their weddings.

This news does not surprise me.
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Ailatan
06/12/09

@NefariousNewt: I don't understand that. It seems pointless. The other thing I don't get is the idea of looking like a "princess" or something completely different. There are many things I don't like about myself, butt looking totally different is not what I want for the first day of my marriage.

I'm rambling... sorry.
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philoclea
06/12/09

@Ailatan: It *is* pointless. I hate to get all historical up in here (what am I lying for? I don't!), but two hundred years ago, women just wore a nice dress to get married in. A nice dress which they wore again on other occasions.

Heck, my own grandmother just wore a nice *suit*. In fact, I love that 40's style of getting married in a sharp, tailored skirt suit.

Even if you buy into the "logic" that designer clothes are better-made and last for ages, why do you need that for a dress you wear once? (And, let's face it, the chances you'll have a daughter, she'll want to get married, she'll want to wear your dress, and she'll be the right size for it, are very, very small.)
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Ailatan
06/12/09

@philoclea: For my wedding I wore just regular nice clothes, nothing fancy, it was not a religious ceremony and the only thing that was a bit extravagant were my beautiful black patent leather tango shoes (that I wear for parties and such)
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Lymed
06/12/09

@philoclea: You may not want it for yourself, but for me, my wedding dress was not pointless. It made me happy. I did not look like somebody else. I found a dress that expressed who I was. I looked the best version of myself. Did I need that dress? No. But I love it and I was able to afford it. I may have only worn it once, but I do have pictures that will be in my family for generations.
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EsmereldaFitzmonster
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
My sister went to David's Bridal for her prom dress, and they preferred that we not pick through ourselves-- the consultants brought dresses over and found the perfect one for her. Was that just the location we went to?
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Laulau
06/12/09

@EsmereldaFitzmonster: No, I had the same experience picking up a bridesmaid dress, and it was annoying as hell. I actually had my bf at the time come with and he distracted the sales clerk while I grabbed my size off the rack, tried it on over my jeans, and then came back out and ordered it. I could hear the salesperson bitching about us as I left. Perhaps they make commission? (I'd be totally happy to let them earn that commission, I just don't want to sit there for an hour while they take down my personal information - I'm just the maid of honor, leave me alone!!!)

Sorry, I can get a tad rant-y about that experience.
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Laulau
06/12/09

@EsmereldaFitzmonster: Though I should add, I realize your sister's experience sounds different than mine - I wasn't looking around, I knew the dress the bride wanted and just had to double check that my normal size was correct.
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DangerMouse
06/12/09

@Laulau: I think they do make commission, but I also imagine there's some practicality to it--keeping things organized and keeping all that white fabric clean....
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Laulau
06/12/09

@DangerMouse: Sigh, you are no doubt correct and now I feel like an ass. Still, I would have been more compliant if they didn't keep asking for things like my birthdate, my phone #, etc. I hate being hounded by solicitors.

@cheshirecounty: Cheez'n'rice, that sounds exhausting! When my sister got married, I just felt badly about all the giggling we did inside the dressing room. Not half the fun if you can't snark. Plus, call me a prude, but I don't like changing in front of total strangers.
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linnyt is a walking cliché
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
are your bridesmaids supposed to carry you?
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FashionShowAtLunch
06/12/09

@linnyt is a walking cliché: No, you're supposed to go there on a date with your Dad after the purity ball.
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queenieinmanhattan
06/12/09

In reply to Hell's Bells
Ha, palanquin! Did anybody else read that and think, "Ooooh, 'The Infanta!' OOOOOHHH, 'Mad Men!'

No? Just me? OK, carry on with your classless wedding dress shopping, you crazy off-the-rackers.
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jigglyball
06/12/09

@queenieinmanhattan: That was my exact thought process. For realzies.
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BlueLilly
05/18/09

In reply to Bride & Prejudice
Fun fact: The Palace of the People (in the background) is the second largest building in the world (in square footage), after the Pentagon.
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poires et poireaux
05/18/09

@BlueLilly: And Ceaucescu demolished 1/16 of Bucharest to build it.
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