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la.donna.pietra
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
***BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SEASON 6 SPOILER***

Does it say something about me that the first thing I thought of was Xander and Anya snarfing junk food right before their wedding?
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sciencerules
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
I think this can be broken down pretty easily:

1) pre-wedding crash dieting provides a too-low baseline.

2) cooking for two, perhaps less healthily than for one.

3) pregnancy and associated weight gain

4) lack of time for exercise associated with family life and children (seriously, I just got a DOG and I have no time, I can't imagine a baby)

5) that cake is gorge. What, I'm hungry!
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fabulousrobots
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
When I told my coworker I was engaged, she said, very seriously, "What size do you want to be for your wedding?"

Uh, the size I am, you crazy weight-obsessed fool.
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cuteasabutton
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: WTF? Why do people say stupid crap like that?
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greengrey
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: For my wedding, I want to take up negative space.
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fabulousrobots
06/26/09

@cuteasabutton: I would never say it to anyone, and I don't understand the mindset someone would have to be in to ask a question like that!
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the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: Ugh, that is horrible! If I ever get engaged, I am thinking that I want to keep it a secret just so I can avoid fools and their judgey weight related commentary.
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tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: Lemur size, definitely. Boyfriend says I can get away with Lynx size, but I know I won't look good until I'm Lemur.

/tscheese tribute>
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save jinger
06/26/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): For my wedding, I want to gain as much weight as possible so I can take up more of people's visual fields so there will be more attention on me!
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: it's shit like that which makes me a misanthropic humanitarian. People are great in theory: kind of shit in practice.
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cuteasabutton
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: Exactly? But a coworker? No-one should say it anyway, but for a coworker to say that is so out of line.
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IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: I would want to be fun-sized, like those tiny candy bars you pass out on halloween. The wedding dress would be sooooo cheap.
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LaComtesse
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: 0_0 Not. Cool. I will never, ever, EVER forgive members of my husband's family for slapping food out of my hand at a picnic the day before my wedding because "You have to fit into a dress tomorrow." Because, apparently, a turkey burger at a BBQ will make me gain so much weight I won't be able to wear the dress that I had been fitted for the day before.

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): @tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock: "I'd really like to get down to my birth weight."
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sciencerules
06/26/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): My goal is to be invisible from the side. Except for the T & A, of course. Sexy virgin whore bride!
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sequined
06/26/09

@fabulousrobots: "Well, my boobs don't get bulbous until I gain ten to fifteen pounds, but--and this might be too ambitious, I don't know--I'm thinking about aiming for 25 for maximum Church cleavage."
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clevernamehere
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
I'm pretty sure the 6 to 9 pounds more is compared to singles over time. People gain weight as they get older and married people might gain slightly more than their single counterparts.
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Unsolicited Advice
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
I'm sure they made adjustments normalizing the impact of honeymoons, pre-wedding crash diets, etc. Surely it's impossible that these geniuses just collected and graphed the pretty numbers without considering biases.
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sciencerules
06/26/09

@Unsolicited Advice: But was the graph pink? Inquiring minds need to know!

Also, it'd be super awesome if Jez could have found and linked to the study.
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DuchessofHazards
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
I've gained that in buttercream alone.

Also off topic: I hate fondant. Don't invite me to your birthday or wedding for whipped cream or fondant. I will hate you forever.

Buttercream now, buttercream forever!
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msAnthrope
06/26/09

@DuchessofHazards:

damn you, now i want to run out to the bakery and buy a chocolate cake covered in chocolate buttercream!
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DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton
06/26/09

@DuchessofHazards: Fondant grosses me out.
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sequined
06/26/09

@DuchessofHazards: I'm firmly in team rainbow chip frosting.
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pear.shaped.Sara
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
I read about that study somewhere else, but it just said people who cohabitate .... didn't break it down into legal relationship status. So, even though it's still kind of a DUHHHH study, it wasn't quite so condescending.
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nora charles
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
I think it has more to do with the fact that women who spend more time with their husbands tend to eat like their husbands do, and if your husband eats anything like my boyfriend . . . well, it's no surprise I've gained 15 pounds since meeting him.

I think they've documented a similar trend on women who move in with their boyfriends. People tend to eat the way people around them eat, and most men can eat more without gaining than women can.

Can we talk about how vile that "Bulging Brides" show is? I actually like weight-loss shows, generally, but that one does everything wrong, both from a human standpoint and a dieting standpoint. It's all about humiliating the bride-to-be, and they basically make her do the least fun kinds of exercise and convince her that eating healthy has to be this giant painful sacrifice because she's been such an awful person by, you know, eating those candy bars at work.
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the dodo, the cuckoo, and the nene
06/26/09

@nora charles: I gained ten pounds when I first started dating my boyfriend because we did nothing but eat grilled hamburgers, chicken, steaks, brats every day. It was delicious, but not exactly the healthiest lifestyle. Now, instead of trying to keep up with him and his insatiable appetite for meat, I exercise regularly and eat "me" sized portions. I feel much better too.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
06/26/09

@nora charles: I had a similar experience. I've lost a LOT of weight since moving out/breaking up with the ex. More than that, he had the tendency to ask if I was going to finish my meal while I was still eating! (This led to me eating like I was in prison - fast and protectively!)

However, I'd also be interested to see what birth control methods are being employed by the couples in question.
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LaFemme
06/26/09

@nora charles: I have always LOST weight when I have been in a relationship and/or lived with someone. Way more small portions and actual sit-down meals and way fewer drinking-lots-of-wine and eating fried calamari with girlfriends nights. Plus, not as much "grazing" throughout the day.
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DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
Well, fuck this. Why DOES change take so long? (<3 urself)

Every bride I've known (even the ones who had a 2 month window ring to aisle) went into turbo training mode.

He fell in love with you, for you. Not because it was possibly your dream to be your smallest size ever in your wedding photos.

I now risk detaching my retina from over rolling of the eyeballs.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
06/26/09

@DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton: exactly, I just don't.get.it. If s/he feel for you, s/he likes you as is. More than that, crash diets don't work and are dangerous. Healthy brides and grooms, FTW
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LaFemme
06/26/09

@DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton: I have never understood why losing weight is part of getting married for some women. Your guy wanted to marry you at whatever your weight is, and I am pretty sure your family and friends know what you look like so...what is the point? Buy a flattering dress and go say your vows.
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TinkishDelight
06/26/09

@DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton: I don't think brides lose weight for their groom so much as they lose it to look "good" in pictures or in front of all their guests.
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DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton
06/26/09

@TinkishDelight: @Etoiles: Exactly - and that is why it makes me sad.
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inabook
06/26/09

@LaFemme: I generally don't think its about the guy or the friends-- its about you. You want to fit into some mental image you've had of yourself as ideal, and as long as its not unhealthy for you to lose the weight, I don't see why its a bad thing, if its something you truly want.
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Etoiles
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
I wonder if "singles" means "folks who aren't paired off," or simply "folks who haven't legally married." Because I know I've gained weight every time I've moved in with a guy. (Which is a sample size of "twice," admittedly.) And friends of mine, when they first moved in with a partner, reported the same. Particularly female friends under 30 moving in with male partners under 30, because in almost every case the guys' metabolisms can handle a lot more crap and the girls started eating more and more of it without noticing at first...
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Majrhoulihan
06/26/09

@Etoiles: This study was on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." It's about cohabitation.
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hellosunshine
06/26/09

@Etoiles: This is exactly what happened when I lived with my ex (boyfriend, not husband)!
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angelheadedhipster
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
Hmmm, maybe this is why we geighs are so skinny...
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DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton
06/26/09

@angelheadedhipster: Hahaha, I <3 u even more now.
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
06/26/09

@angelheadedhipster: I'm friending you for that. Otherwise, yes, but what about bears? Ain't no such thing as a skinny bear.
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angelheadedhipster
06/26/09

@Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.: Little known fact: all bears are secretly married. Shhh, don't tell anyone!
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mommy_dearest
06/26/09

@angelheadedhipster: So Prop 8 was really about keeping the gayz in shape, right?
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Mama Penguino
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
When Mr. P and I started dating, everything we did was excessive: sex, food, sex and more food. Within two years, we were both chubby Romans, lounging around in our free-fitting clothing, still stuffing our faces and pulling each other to the floor in a romantic (albeit more slow-moving) frenzy. Fast-forward 20 years and now we're eating dry chicken breasts and popping fish oil caplets, but the spark is still there! I guess my point is, "for better or for worse" implies "through thick and thin" in my book. *wink*
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SylvanSylph
06/26/09

@Mama Penguino: Yay! I have easily gained 15-20 pounds in two and a half years since I started dating my boyfriend. Entire weekends spent in bed eating delivery can do that to you! I wouldn't change it for anything.
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Buenavista
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
WTF? That Bulging Brides show sounds like a nightmare! Just reading the description gave me a headache.
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nothanks
06/26/09

@Buenavista: ha i watched an episode when i was in canada recently and it was horrid, every episode there is tears about being a fatty - its like this is the best day of your life ladies! I'm sure hubby wouldn't have proposed if he thought you some kind of big fatty fatso, most of them don't even look that extremely overweight.
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lijakaca
06/26/09

@nothanks: Yes, I hate that show, I've never seen one where I thought the woman actually looked unhealthy - and half of it is supposed to be just to fit into the dress. BUY A BIGGER SIZE! Problem solved.
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sequined
06/26/09

@lijakaca: Because wedding dresses are sized differently than normal clothes, I know women who have absolutely refused to buy the size that fits in favor of the size that shares a number with their favorite pants. Which means dieting and working out to lose two-three sizes by wedding day. Ugh.
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monkeydance
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
also...don't most married couples end up having more children down the line than non married couples? that adds on weight.

married couples have to shuffle two schedules...so when getting home at 5 or 7 it's not easy to make a fast meal that's not prepackaged...unless i'm just lazy and you can actually cook a roast beef at 7 and eat sometime by 7:30 when hungry.
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greengrey
06/26/09

@monkeydance: Wait, I'm confused. How do single people have more time to cook than married people?

If you're single don't you still have two schedules?
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save jinger
06/26/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): Yes, you have your schedule, and the schedule of your biological clock ticking.
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greengrey
06/26/09

@save jinger: Hahah. I forgot, single women don't eat dinner. They have to lose weight if they want to snag a man!
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clevernamehere
06/26/09

@monkeydance: You really can easily cook dinner most nights of the week if you put a little thought into your shopping. I usually spend less than 30 mins cooking a night. Personally, I just find most pre-packaged food kind of gross, so I don't buy it but cooking really doesn't have to be a big to do.
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attilathehoney
06/26/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): Only single women on television eat. It's an urban myth that it happens in real life.
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Samanthrax
06/26/09

@attilathehoney: That's not true. Everyday, I dine on cat hair.
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inabook
06/26/09

@monkeydance: Its hard to cook a roast beef in half an hour, but there are plenty of quick, easy meal options-- broiled fish, pan fried chicken, ham steak, salads, and veggies all take under a half an hour to cook. Plus, there's the whole Rachel Ray revolution, though I'm not really a fan of her, so I don't know how realistic her 30-minute meals are.
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Samanthrax
06/26/09

@inabook: Plus, I bet her husband could cook.
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greengrey
06/26/09

@Samanthrax is Sarcastic: Do you dine on cat hair after not getting home from a job? Because single women don't have jobs, don't ya know.
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Samanthrax
06/26/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): The only work I do is trying not to vomit up hairballs.
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Cole23
06/26/09

@clevernamehere: Some recipes would be appreciated. I HATE cooking and my poor son is getting sick of hotdogs, peanut butter sandwiches, chicken nuggets and whatever is on the hotwarmer at walmart. Help me.
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clevernamehere
06/26/09

@Cole23: There are a million places to look. Epicurious has a whole section of fast meals. Pasta and stirfry can be done in one pan (or two if you're boiling the water). Kids are a little tricker, but one of my easiest meals is cut up tomatoes with salt and pepper + torn arugula/spinach tossed with whole wheat pasta. In the summer, I add the raw veggies to pasta with a little balsamic and olive oil. In the winter, I saute some garlic, add the tomatoes, followed by the arugula and the pasta. The whole thing takes me maybe 15 mins and is loosely based on recipes I found on smittenkitchen (hot version) and in Jamie Oliver's cookbook (cold version).
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clevernamehere
06/26/09

@inabook: Racheal Ray isn't bad, her cookbooks were the first ones I read, but a lot of her meals require you to be a pretty fast cook in 30 mins. Plus, a lot of the food is really heavy. But she has a lot of sandwiches with portobella mushrooms that are super fast and I really never would have thought of on my own.
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sequined
06/26/09

@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): Have you missed the memo? Single women are all magazine editors these days. Welcome to 2004, my friend, I think you'll like it here.
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morninggloria
06/26/09

In reply to Bride Wars
Probably because married women get their jollies from eating their husbands' souls, and souls are highly caloric.

AMIRITE, Boyz?!
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angelheadedhipster
06/26/09

@morninggloria: My soul is on the South Beach Diet, thankyouverymuch.
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CurtCole
06/26/09

@morninggloria: Prop 8 is protecting my gay soul...
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BabyJane
06/26/09

@morninggloria:

I suggest preparing the souls with just a squeeze of lemon, It really cuts the calories and they're still delicious.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
06/26/09

@CurtCole: likewise, it should be DOM*A

(*and Souls)
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CurtCole
06/26/09

@AtomiClash: I smell an Executive Order in the making.
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notheretomakefriends
06/26/09

@morninggloria: if you play Bachebel's cannon backwards, the brides can turn into a succubus
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notheretomakefriends
06/26/09

@notheretomakefriends: And I need to spell check more carefully *Pachebel*
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