If you feel like you must do white, try this fuzzy gown. Pretty sure that's fur. Subtle!

How about pretty in pink? Or is this too sweet sixteen for your tastes? It is giving me a toothache, actually.

This blue number is a little pirate wench. "Avast me hearties, tis I, Mariah. Touch me body."

Ooh, this is like when Scarlett O'Hara showed up to Ashley's birthday party in a red dress because she was such a hussy. Maybe not the most appropriate dress to get married in.

Hmm, unless your wedding is simultaneously a quinceañera — and who am I to judge? — this does not seem right.

Aww, but look: A Hello Kitty bouqet. Toss it and watch the bridesmaids scatter!

More Hello Kitty Wedding Dresses [Wedding Bells Blog]

• So all that time at the gym bashing John Galliano paid off! Such that Marc Jacobs saw it fit to run nude photos of himself in the latest issue of the tres exclusif magazine Visionaire in honor of his guest editing stint. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• International Herald Tribune fashion critic Suzy Menkes: "I'm afraid my British sense of humor fell flat. My remarks about murdering Marc Jacobs were meant as a joke, and probably a very bad one. What I actually did [that night] was to tear apart a pizza with my bare hands..." Yeah, we agreed with her more the first time. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• A 12-year old models at Australian Fashion Week, proving what everyone has long known: Clothing designed for "women" is actually cut to fit middle-schoolers. [The Sun]

• A "Trunk Show" (oh the puns, they kill us) was held last night as part of London Fashion Week to benefit endangered Asian elephants was held last night. Designer Alice Tempereley and sucky actress-cum-fashion "icon" Sienna Miller both attended. We do hope Vogue editor/elephant lover/London Fashion Week attendee Anna Wintour did not. [Vogue UK]
• In case you haven't heard a gajillion times already, Kate Moss and her hair stylist/bff James Brown are doing a hair-care line. Says Brown, "I was adamant about the price. My sister is a nurse in Ireland and I wanted her to be able to afford something like this - it shouldn't be just for the Katie Holmes of the world." Oh, how very populist. Also: Katie Holmes gets this shit for free anyway. [Vogue UK]
• It's that time of year again: The toilet paper wedding gown competition! [Sassybella]
• Footwear designer Taryn Rose is now shilling a line of man-made diamond jewelry so that you don't have to feel that your bling is, um, causing international strife. Says Rose, "We probably didn't need Taryn Rose to be a jeweler...". Well, okay then. [WWD, sub req'd]
• It's only, uh, September, but retailers are already preparing for a lousy holiday season; something about consumers trying to keep up with their mortgages in a recession or something. [WWD, sub req'd]