"I come to America with nothing… At least I have my health." LOVE. HER.

So yeah, the challenge involved wedding gowns. Specifically: Taking divorced ladies' bridal gowns and turning them into something new for the "new chapter" of their lives.

Did you get a good look at Gordana's face when she saw the divorcées in white coming down the runway?

She has an awesome WTF face.

Leah: "I've been divorced for three months."
Gordana: "Congratulations."

Shirin's divorcée had a slender column dress, with not a lot of material to work with, and she had dreams of looking like Cher — a la "Half Breed." Shrin whined, "I can't do it," blah blah blah. Which was total bullshit. Have you seen Cher's "Half Breed" costume?

You don't need very much fabric at all!

Anyway, Shirin was frustrated, so she cried.

And sniffled.

And so on. The tender touch of Tim Gunn saved her from disaster.

OMG TIM GUNN SAID COUGAR. LOL.

Later, on the runway, Michael Kors tore into Christopher's dress, calling it "tin foil."

Highlights from the runway:


Shirin's dress turned out to be just fine. See what a hug from Tim Gunn can do?

Irina whipped up something lovely. But then again, she picked a dress with lots of fabric and lace.

Carol Hannah's dress: SPECTACULAR.

Yay! Gordana won with a punk rock edgy strapless number Taylor Momsen wishes she had. And Gordana won! America, where all your dreams come true. And if not, at least you have your health.

Lowlights from the runway:

Logan's pants and ruffle vest: Good idea, bad clothes.

Epperson's kimono wasn't terrible, but the competition was stiff. And we had to say auf Wiedersehen.

Don't worry, Epperson — you can still play along, with the Project Runway video game for Nintendo Wii!!!!

Press Start to Work It: ‘Project Runway' Video Game Is Planned [NY Times]

Earlier: Project Runway: Shower Loofas & Disco Pumpkins
Michael Kors Returns To Runway, Makes People Cry
Project Runway: Ra'mon Gets Robbed
Project Runway: Is Making A Dress Harder Than Kicking Meth?
Project Runway: Sewing & Sobbing
Project Runway: "I Didn't Try Hard Enough"Project Runway: No One Wants Chicken Thighs
Project Runway: Tender Tim Makes Everything Better

You know what? At the end of the day, I don't care: trash your dress, paint your pregnant belly, eat your placenta. Choose your choices, however inexplicable, dubious and narcissistic. There's nothing wrong with this "trend", which one photographer describes as "a more creative way to express yourself...in a way you can't on your wedding day" by having yourself photographed covering your virginal, pricey Big Day glad-rags with paint or mud or axel grease. According to another photographer, it plays with the idea that the bride is a "pure" an untouchable creature - this, like the Real Housewives' revelatory "alter ego" portraits, presumably shows the woman in all her two-faceted complexity.

Says one defiant bride, while some people might consider it "destroying something sacred," she regards this as a means of making a work of art. Well, maybe some do consider it a desecration - but it's not the gesture's cutesy, expensive "boldness" that took me aback. It was just bad timing for harmless old "TTD" that I happened, on a long flight yesterday, to run across a piece in British Marie-Claire about a 25-year-old American woman who moved to war-torn Uganda to do relief work in a refugee camp, met and married a young Ugandan minister, and with him set up an organization that helped couples in Pader have a "group wedding" - a seemingly modest goal with big implications. First of all, almost all of the women had been raped by rebels - some held as "wives" - and had thought they'd never marry as a result. Then, having fallen in love, many of the grooms were unable to come up with the traditional dowry, let alone the trappings of a wedding. And planning marriages amidst the chaos and despair of the camp was a challenge that the newly-married Katie Karpik appreciated. They raised the money for a wonderful wedding, and six couples were able to get married - in dresses donated by British women to an organization called Jireh Women. More than 50 gowns and bridesmaids dresses were donated, and Karpik says they'll continue to use the gowns for future weddings.

It's a deeply unfair comparison, and a manipulative one. I admit it. The two have nothing to do with each other. It's also, as I said, pure chance that I should read about this story in a glossy magazine while on vacation, and it takes some cheek to draw such a heavy-handed judgment, especially when during the same flight I cried real tears during Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. Because one thing's great doesn't make another bad, and I don't even think it's particularly fair here to bring up the Wedding Industry or Consumerism or, yes, the Economy. It might feel a little icky to see wanton destruction in the name of "art" and it might seem a slightly tone-deaf choice for the show, but hey, they've got hours to fill and "trends" to manufacture and people have the luxury of tuning out the Marmees for a few hours a week. And who wants to give all her presents to the Hummels? Just remember that there are options, and ones that can do much good. But tar and feather your gown in the name of self-expression, and I promise not to judge. Except, maybe, the couple who had their picture taken in the shallow grave. Which I feel confident panning on artistic grounds.

Jireh Women
Donating Wedding Dresses
My Big Fat Ugandan Wedding [Photoma]

[Scheveningen, Netherlands; September 9. Image via Getty]

Women wearing their wedding dresses are pictured on a North Sea beach in Scheveningen, Netherlands, on September 09 2009. The photographer Melanie Rijkers initiated the act after she found out about the American phenomenon 'Trash the dress' on the internet. The idea behind it is to have fun once more with your used wedding dress. AFP PHOTO /ANP / ROBERT VOS ***netherlands out - belgium out*** (Photo credit should read ROBERT VOS/AFP/Getty Images)

• When presented with the dress, bride Lin Rong "laughed and cried at the romantic gesture." Her husband-to-be said: "I do not want a cliche wedding parade or banquet." • Following the success of a similar pilot program, DC officials have announced that they plan to offer STD testing to all high school students in the coming school year. Cue the denial driven parental outrage. • A new study found that 60% of black parents said that they would consider volunteering at their children's schools, up from 23% in 2008. Researchers believe this is part of the Obama Effect. • Little Orphan Annie turned 85 yesterday! The "Annie" comic strip first appeared on Aug. 5, 1924. Creator Harold Gray originally planed on publishing a strip called "Little Orphan Otto," but he changed it at the last minute on his editor's suggestion. •  The Australian government has forged a partnership with soccer authorities in attempts to encourage more girls (and women) to play football. • In order to better understand the life of Muslim women, three British police women donned robes and hijabs for a day. The exercise, called "In Your Shoes," has drawn some criticism. "This is a complete waste of police time and taxpayers' money," said Douglas Murray of the Center for Social Cohesion. "It's not the duty of police to empathize with particular sections of the community." • The British Trade Union Congress is considering a motion to ban stiletto heels from the work place as a health hazard to women. Some women are saying, "From my cold, dead feet." • A female stripper from Australia has been found not guilty of raping the best man at a bachelor party where she was hired to perform. The victim claims that, after sticking a sex toy into his anus against his protests, Linda Naggs told him it was "just a joke," and told him not to worry, "only you and I know." • Denver Radio Station KTNI decided to scrap its indie music format in favor of "Classic Non Stop Stripper Hits, from the 80's, 90's and today." They're now going by 101.5 The Pole. • Sam, the koala made famous by this photograph, has passed away during surgery to remove several cysts caused by chlamydia. • Two important advertisers have pulled their support of radio network Austereo, following the forced confession of a 14-year-old girl that she had been raped during a lie detector segment of the Kyle and Jackie O Show. • Newspaper editor Chansa Kabwela is currently on trial for distributing images of a woman giving birth in a parking lot after she was turned away from a hospital. Zambia president Rupiah Banda deemed the images pornographic and called for charges to be brought against Kabwela. • Lula Mae Battle, 81, had charges against her dropped when prosecutors learned that her public urination arrest was due to age-related incontinence. • A woman in Texas has been charged with mutilating her infant while high on drugs. Yes, another one. • A woman from New York was ticketed for breastfeeding in a parked car. Although she admits they were in a "no standing" zone, Marta Lily and Enrique Velez pleaded with the officer not to ticket them, and offered to move while he was busy writing out the forms. • Saudi citizen Mazen Abdul-Jawad is facing more than 200 charges for appearing on a Lebanese television show discussing the fact that he's had sex and liked it. Abdul-Jawad is the divorced father of 4. • New research shows that although baby-making declines as countries achieve certain levels of wealth, it goes up again once they get really rich. • Lori Drew wants her internet access back. The Internet doesn't want her. • Daniela Earnest of Tulare, California learned that California regulations really are as bad as conservative commentators warn: local officials shut down her corner lemonade stand, which she opened to pay for tickets to Disneyland, because it lacked the proper business permits. Although the city is contemplating a change to the law, a local radio station traded her family 4 tickets to Disneyland in exchange for 30 cups of lemonade. • Be warned: The story I'm about to link to may offend some with its absurdly bad puns: According to a new study, women who down one or two glasses of wine a day have better sex lives than those who abstain. •

First, of course, there's the wedding! Romance, wedding magazines, dress-shopping - why, look! The Wall Street Journal has a June-ready story on it! Oh. "Pre-Altared: More Used Wedding Gowns Go Back on Market." Apparently "the combined forces of the Web and the recession" are compelling a lot of women to sell their old dresses online. Obviously an expedient choice for the unsentimental or the space or cash-strapped, the success of the frankly-named PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com shows that in the new era of Modern Love, you can get your old/new/borrowed (and probably, blue) with minimal muss and fuss. And any sacrifice in sentiment is more than matched by the all-American pragmatism of the exchange.

Ms. Bulow found a dress online, tried on the $1,200 style at a bridal shop, then bought the dress for $450 from a young woman in Alabama whose wedding had been called off. "It's the way the free-market system should work," Ms. Bulow says. "She had something I wanted."

But not everyone's pinching pennies! Some people seem to still be splashing out on Fairy-Tale weddings that are all about love and romance! Oh, wait. "Forget saucepans, the modern bride is sparking controversy by demanding flashy gadgets and plasma TVs," says the Independent's "Wedding lists - self-indulgent or sensible?" It seems insolent newlyweds have no qualms about letting their loved ones upgrade them to the latest Gizmodo has to offer. Forget necessities; in the age of cohabitation and grown-up marriage, people have already got those. But you can get them nicer ones! "It seems the norm today for newlyweds to saunter from the altar into a home fully furnished with mod cons and designer furniture - all charitably paid for by their guests."

But now that you're married - either pragmatically or acquisitively - wedded bliss! Oh, wait. Here's the NY Times on "When Sex Leaves the Marriage."

It's estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.

Okay, that's worst-case scenario - Donnelly says that on average, couples make whooppee about 58 times per annum - but once the sex is gone? It's all downhill. Reanimating a stagnant sex life is "very hard" due to the many issues of communication, confidence, hurt and trust involved and, while it can be resuscitated, "people in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those in sexually active marriages."

Well, those people are in luck, because as the Times of London story "With this website I thee divorce" tells us, online divorce sites are proliferating! Offering legal advice and resources, discussion forums, expert guidance and support, these sites may be teh wave of the future, cutting through some of the messiness of the inevitably painful process.

While online chats about divorce and marriage troubles are multiplying on sites such as mumsnet and iVillage, (as well as ) specialist sites ... appear to be proof that divorcing couples are increasingly seeking friendship and advice anonymously and online through chat rooms and the blogosphere.

And we know from web support in these parts! Or, as one site-user says, "The doctor has given me support but the web community has given me great emotional support, too. You either laugh or cry - but just to talk to someone who has also been married to an alcoholic and gone in search of bottles in the toilet is a big relief."

We'll be in the corner, weeping into our pile of invitations. And, no joke, "Pachelbel Canon" is actually playing on my LastFM "Antonio Vivaldi" radio. Also: who knew that "weeping bride" was a popular position in certain girl-on-girl porn genres? I wish I didn't!

Pre-Altared: More Used Wedding Gowns Go Back On Market [Wall Street Journal]
Wedding Lists - Self-Indulgent Or Sensible?[Independent]

When Sex Leaves The Marriage [NY Times]
With This Website I Thee Divorce [TimesUK]

However, I was still distracted by the open bar. I guess some things never change.

Like the garbage cans at the event. They were elegantly draped in linen just like last year.

2009:

2008:

I went with my mom, fiancé (hate that word still), fiancé's mom, my BFF since high school who's one of my bridesmaids and who just got engaged a few weeks ago, and my BFF's mom.

Once my mom and dad got involved in the planning for this wedding, it got so far away from the small, intimate evening I'd envisioned, and is quickly turning into the kind of giant circus wedding—with relatives I haven't seen since I've menstruated for the first time popping up on the guest list—that I really had no interest in. But they're paying for the party, so it's kind of more their thing, than mine, at this point. I haven't put much thought into any of the planning, beyond having booked the venue and the photographer (who's a friend of my fiancé's). I haven't even tried on a single dress.

Speaking of dresses, there were a ton of them on body forms at the wedding showcase. And they were all strapless. I hate that 98% of wedding dresses are strapless and the other 2% are sleeveless.

Anyway, just like last year, I was mostly interested in drinking free wine and eating free hors d'oeuvres and cakes. However, this year, I took the time to fill out all the different raffle cards to win free shit like flowers, makeup, and discounts from various vendors. (My mom kept every pen from each booth she filled a raffle card at, saying, "It's all freebies here," despite the fact that they were Bic pens without caps or a promo printing.)

The thing is though, since the venue I'm using includes catering and the cake, and requires that I use one of their florists, and since I'll probably end up designing invitations, the only vendor to shop for was maybe some form of entertainment, like a band or a DJ.

The one thing that I knew I wanted was to find a string quartet who could play Mariah Carey songs (or at the very least, "Fantasy") leading up to the ceremony and during the cocktail hour. I did find an awesome company at the showcase called Orchestrations, that can turn any song into a string arrangement and provide you with musicians to play it. However, when I asked the woman at the booth about prices, she wouldn't give me any quotes, but assured me that they could work with "any budget." I know how that goes, though: Unaffordable!

After working half the room, I was hot, exhausted, annoyed, and ache-y from lugging around my goodie bag which weighed a whopping 12.5 lbs. (I put it on my scale.)

It was so crowded, and I was sick of being pushed and shoved by frenzied women with flat-ironed hair, wearing their huge purses in the crooks of their elbows. I felt like I was at the mall on the weekend before Christmas. I wanted to get out of there.

I still maintained a sense of humor—or perhaps delirium—because I found this hilarious:

Heh. Seamen.

I don't plan on wearing a veil, but I tried one on for shits and giggles, and before I knew it, the five people I was with each whipped out their own camera to take my picture.

When I put it back on the rack I saw that it was $1000, and it was one of the cheaper ones of the bunch.

We were there for about two and half hours, and I knew it was time to leave. When I got home, I rifled through my goodie bag.

It included:

• 2 copies of New York magazine
• 2 hardcover books (A Great American Cook by Jonathan Waxman and the novel A Bad Bride's Tale by Polly Williams)
• Chestnut cake mix
• A bottle of water
• Redken straightening spray
• Kenneth shampoo and conditioner
• A crystal keychain
• Measuring tape and a $50 gift card to M&J trimming
• Lavilin deodorant cream
• Korres watermelon-scented, 30 SPF face sunscreen
• Peanut butter crunch Full Bar
• Victoria's Secret makeup bag with perfume and lip gloss
• 2 chocolate bars
• 2 bottles of Milani nail polish, French manicure colors
• Milani eyeshadow and brown lip gloss (which would not be approved by Ashely from Rock of Love Bus)
• 3 different containers of mints
• A brownie and some kind of white chocolate candy
• Sewing kit
• YSL mascara
• Gift certificate for a facial peel
• 20% off of cosmetic surgery, Lasik, Smartlipo, Botox, laser hair removal, Juvederm, Restylane, or a prescription for longer, darker, fuller lashes
• About three million coupons and flyers

• 
  
  It also had a Fashion Forms Bridal Kit that has dress and lingerie tapes, one size extreme silicone adhesive body bra, silicone gel petals, one size thong, and a garter.

  I was interested to see what a "one size thong" looked like. It's officially the first thong I've ever owned.
  
  
  
  
  

  The "extreme adhesive body bra" looked two fallopian tubes away from a uterus.
  
  
  
  
  

  Which was perfect, since the silicone gel petals look like a form of contraception.
  
  
  
  
  

  They feel really nice, though. I've been squishing them all day, like they're stress balls. I anticipate getting much use out of them, that way, over the next few months.

  Last year, I said that the wedding showcase didn't really sway me either way, on whether or not I wanted to have a wedding of my own, and compared it to anal sex: I always said I'd never take it in the rear; now, sometimes I do. I figured that planning an open bar party to celebrate spending the rest of my life with one person couldn't hurt more than getting fucked in the ass.

  And it doesn't. But there's a lot more shit involved.

  Earlier: Single Slut Crashes New York Weddings Showcase

This dress seems all kinds of cruel. What's with the random pintucks in the skirt? And why must the bow look so cheap?
I'm typically pro the cocktail-length wedding dress. But not if it comes with a bolero like this.
I swear there is no difference between this dress and ones you'll find in fancy wedding stores. It's not my taste, but it's a look a lotta ladies seem to love.
This dress fuckin' rocks. To the max!
Slightly "maternity" and you would need a really good bra, but has potential.
No: Putting a friend in this as a bridesmaid dress is a Crime Against Womanity.

Torrid Announces Plus-Size Bridal Collection [The Budget Fashionista]
Torrid Bride [Torrid]

• Stella McCartney calls dibs on bride-to-be Scarlett Johansson: "I'm definitely doing her wedding dress. She doesn't know it yet." Awkward. [People]
  
• Says Marc Jacobs on the bride-to-be, "I'm really happy for her. She's a great girl. I just think Scarlett is great and I hope she is very, very happy. She's super funny. I love a smart, ballsy, New Yorker and that's what she is. I wish her the best." And by "the best" he clearly means, "Do why didn't that bitch ask me to design her wedding dress?" [Vogue UK]
  
• Chris "Mr. Big" Noth has some strong feelings about Victoria's Secret, "I'm not into Victoria's Secret so much. I find it over the top. I like subtlety and I like elegance. I think their things are gaudy and they are really trying too hard. If I could make a fashion statement, I think that Victoria's Secret looks to me like somebody who is putting on too much make-up. It's too gaudy, man. I mean, come on take it easy, you don't have to have a fuckin' bouquet of flowers on your underwear. Sorry Victoria's Secret; I hope they're not one of our sponsors!" [Oh No They Didn't]
  
• "You can get diamonds cheap," says Heidi Klum, which is why she's going to start sewing them into the pockets of her Jordache jeans line. Clearly, she has not seen Blood Diamond. [WWD, 9th item]

• Good for you, Adidas, for winning your lawsuit against Payless shoes for their blasphemous thievery of what is clearly a design that only you own: Stripes. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Seriously, Suri Cruise does not need custom-made Roger Vivier shoes. I, however, do. [WWD, 1st item]
• So what did More editor-in-chief Lesley Jane Seymour do Monday night in lieu of attending the Met Costume Institute Gala? (She wasn't invited.) "I dressed up in my best Versace and barbecued on the my outside deck in the suburbs! Only kidding about the Versace! I wore Prada." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Oh also, Christina Ricci left the Costume Institute Gala in a huff after realizing upon entering that she and her boyfriend had not been seated together. [Page Six]
• If only I had been trapped in an elevator with Giorgio Armani yesterday. [Wowowow]
• So Gwyneth Paltrow is all, "I don't get why there's this big fuss about my S&M footwear fetish." [USA Today]
• Video footage of Gemma Ward trying to slay Liv Tyler: Here. [Fashionista]
• Video footage of Karlie Kloss doing ballet: Here. [NY Mag]
• Model and sometimes di Caprio girlfriend Bar Rafaeli sorta needs to pony up and serve in the Israeli Army already. [UPI]
• Oh of course Jimmy Choo is trying to usurp as much press and glory as they can from the opening of the Sex and the City movie. [Vogue UK]
• Ksube + Kanye = Pretty cool. [Sassybella]
• Diet Coke + Patricia Field = Pretty random. [Sassybella]
• OMG why did The Sartorialist get fired from the new Gap ads as a model already?! Why?! Why?! [Fashionista]
• Beth Ditto will be entertaining guests at the opening of the Alexander McQueen store in L.A. next week. [Fashion Week Daily]
• In the midst of economic downturn Barneys New York and Target seem to be entering into one of those "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship" sorta things. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And young design bad-ass Danielle Scutt is designing for Topshop. Seeing a theme here? [WWD, 8th item]
• The Turks? Love them some Dior. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Just what you needed: How to dress like celebrities, made easy. And a little stalker-ish. [TechCrunch]

Tricia Walsh-Smith to Move to 'Real Housewives'? [NY Mag]

L to R: If I got married, I would want to do so in shoes like those; Can we discuss the big hat trend for bridal this season?; Fuck getting married: I want that teal duster and turban stat.
L to R: That dress weighs more than I do; I'll pass on the gown but take the pink tights; Doesn't this look like the dress that Kit and Ricky made for the couture challenge on this season's Project Runway? You know - the one Kit got sent home for?
L to R: Puppy!; Where's the wedding, the Moulin Rouge?; I wish the handprint were on the dress itself.
L to R: Pom-poms were my crafting means de rigeur when I was 5, which was also the age I was into Raggedy Ann; More wedding pants?!; I don't know that I think of this.
You can't see, but my heart is going pitter patter at the site of rainbow-colored, whimsy-drenched bridal.
I hope the woman who gets married in this dress also has "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" as her first dance. Seriously.

Final Verdict: If your marriage falls apart, at least you can reuse the dress and run away and join the circus!

All images via Getty.

Verdict: Row 4, dress 1. That one is beautiful. The rest...well, my mom always told me if I didn't have anything nice to say...

Angel Sanchez Verdict: Yawn.

Lara Helene



Verdict: Sorry, were you saying something?

All images via Getty

Lela Rose


Verdict: Sleepy, wrinkled. No thanks.

Oscar de la Renta










Verdict: Something for everyone (including those with bad taste). I'll stick with the simple stuff (for my non-existent wedding), thanks.

Carolina Herrera







Verdict: Ladylike and rebellious... Just like us?

[Images via Getty.]

• Luke Wilson is "designing" a line of golf products and accessories for Puma. Ah, the insatiable American hunger for the consumption of stuff and celebrity! Or the perception of the insatiability, or whatever. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Speaking of! Rod Stewart is launching a clothing line. [Guardian]
  
• Donna Karan is doing Passover with Demi and Ashton in Miami. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Really, how much longer can Christian Siriano hold congratulatory celebrations for himself? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Elle Macpherson is the latest face of Revlon. [WWD, sub req'd]

• English girl designers Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig are adding a bridal collection for their label, Marchesa, to debut next month. Chapman made herself not one but two wedding dresses for her recent nuptials to Harvey Weinstein, so she's totally qualified, btw. [WWD, 1st item]
• Marc Jacobs is already fighting with his new boyfriend, Austin A. Also: partying in sweatpants and wife-beaters.[Page Six]
• Mary J. Blige is taking sellers of knockoff Mary J. Blige concert tees to court. [Page Six]
• George Clooney may not be doing his own clothing line, but he does wear Belstaff in his upcoming film Leatherheads and the Italian label is sponsoring the film's European premiere. [Vogue UK]
• Steve McQueen also did not do his own clothing line. Though we think the fact that he's dead should have been evidence enough. [Reuters]
• Israeli fashion is apparently on the rise. I am going to be polite here and pretend like the words "Israeli style" don't actually evoke any sort of mental image for me because I love my people. But. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier: Dressing Kylie Minogue for her upcoming tour. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Azzedine Alaia just received a French Legion of Honor. Who? What? [WWD, 1st item]
• Tom Ford has designs on Japan. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Stella McCartney is heading to India. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Agyness Deyn continues to find work. [The Sun UK]
• Drinking this water will apparently magically protect your skin from UV rays; LOL. [Chic Report]
• O.C. alum Samaire Armstrong: has a clothing line too. [Sassybella]
• How to recycle your clothing! [Utne]

Related: Gal Who Proposed In Daily News Gets Big "Yes" From Her Guy [NY Daily News]

• 1. Vera Wang: All I can think of when I see this is Chris and Christian (aka Team Fierce's) "avant-garde" look from Project Runway two weeks ago. It's way too trendy for Jenna and a Texas country wedding. This is a Southern sorority girl we're talking about, here.
  
• 2. J. Mendel: This tiered look screams "I'm pregnant and don't want daddy to know"!
  
• 3. Arnold Scaasi: Could this dress be any more old-school? Whatever Laura wore to marry Georgie Porgy probably looked a whole lot like this. (It's probably what his Barbara wore in her wedding to George, Sr. too.) Jenna may be a Republican, but she's not old. She needs contemporary conservative. Not to be confused, of course, with "compassionate conservative".
  
• 4. Carlos Miele: I can imagine Jenna in something like this; the strapless look is so traditional, and the bottom is full without being princess-y. (Jenna did teach children in South America; she's of the people!) One problem: Jenna's figure can come across as a little square, and this dress may not play up her curves.
  
• 5. Amsale: The girl can drink her Secret Service detail under the table. No way in hell is she going to wear a dress strewn with flowers.
  
• 6. Carmen Marc Valvo: Ooh, cool and modern without trying too hard; no avant-garde aspirations. Just stylish. And thus, possibly too good for Jenna. (See: Southern sorority girl, drinks like a fish, above.)
  
• 7. Angel Sanchez: Interesting detailing in the front, but those spaghetti straps won't be doing Jenna any favors. Pass.
  
• 8. Badgley Mischka: We have a winner! This dress has traditional styling, old-school glamour, romance, and class. And the White House can use all the class it can spin.
  
• 9. Nicole Miller: The bustle in the back, draping across the front, and underlayers peeking out look old-fashioned, but not in a cool, vintage way. Too dated for an all-American party girl.
  
• 10. Lela Rose: The scoop neck is unexpected and modern, but it just might be a little too fashion-forward for the stiff-necked blueblood Bush clan.
  11. Marc Bouwer: This shape might have looked good when Audrey Hepburn played Eliza Doolittle, but Jenna Bush, my friends, is no Audrey Hepburn. (Or John Kennedy.)
  
• 12. Oscar de la Renta: Strikingly similar to the Badgley Mischka gown, this one is a teensy bit more sophisticated. And Jenna Bush just doesn't scream "sophistication."

The thing is, the one website referenced by the Times article, TrashTheDress.com, seems to have a different take on the TTD trend. In fact, the website's manifesto implies that TTD is less about iconoclasm and more about brides stroking the egos of their brand-new husbands!

You've made a commitment to your husband. He's your one and only true love, right? Then you'll never need the dress again. And no, your daughter won't wear it in 20-30 years. So you have two choices: 1) Suffocate it in plastic and throw it in a closet, 2) Show your husband how committed you are by trashing the dress, and get some great fun pictures while you do it!