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The Curse Of Being A Wallflower

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Lisabel (ne: Dagnabbit)
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Replace "dancing" with "karaoke" and that's me until recently. I finally got the nerve to do it-- and that nerve's name was Daniels. Jack Daniels. Glad I did, as it was a fun night.

That said, I would NEVER drag/pressure someone into do it. I've been on the other side, and that's just cruel and initmidating or irritating. I've been at parties when I didn't feel like dancing, and my friends would physically try yank me out on the floor. I'm like "girl, you can pull that arm right outta my socket and I'm still gonna stay sitting here, bleeding out and not dancing". No means no, damnit.
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NewsBunny
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
As I got my anxiety under control, I found I could let go and dance. Who cares if I look like a fool?

My real friends won't care. My husband loves me and thinks I'm beautiful even if I fall flat on my ass.

Anyone who has a problem is a dick and can bite me.

This is a new thing for me. For years I couldn't let go like that in public. But now, that my anxiety disorder is FINALLY being treated -- I can let go and have fun.

You'd be amazed at how much that statement makes me want to cry in happiness.
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brinkswomanship
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Surreptitiously copying other people. That's the only way I've managed over the years! Just watch what everyone else is doing, pick the doable looking moves, and kind of replay them in a different order. It's like a medley of dance moves :P It gets me by.

Now, dancing on my own, that would be another story. 0_0
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Hazel
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
I am also really, really awkward in social situations where I dont know the people who are surrounding me, and that is the reason I dance. It saves me from having to talk to them, because I will always always ALWAYS come across as a total bitch because i can't ever think of anything to say and am not a smiler.

i can't dance either, but at least I don't have to make eye contact.
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pantsless economist...access RESTORED
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
i think this is one of my favorite jezebel posts ever. i hate dancing (until i have some beer in my system) and i'm awful at it. it took a lot of confidence for me to learn to let go and get out there.--and as stupid as i look theres ALWAYS someone who looks goofier :)
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Talk about timely. The other night when I was hanging out with this girl I'm sort of going out with we started listening to my music and she got up to dance in my kitchen. I just sat there and watched and felt embarrassed.

I just ... can't do it unless I'm high, overcaffeinated and alone (I like dancing in my underwear) or wasted.
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swimmingly
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Why is there so much pressure to be a 'good' dancer? What constitutes skill? There is such much pressure to be a good dancer that it makes people like Hortense (and sometimes me when I'm sober) self-conscious enough to miss out on some serious fun. No one is really that good of a dancer. And the people who are supposedly good aren't fun to dance with because they're all about the attention.
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RobertaFisk
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
I was terrified of dancing for years. It took a friend to take me to a bar, get me drunk, drag me to a club and tell me that I should just try to look like an idiot while dancing on purpose. Then she did silly dance moves with me until I loosened up. And now I love dancing! In fact, I think I'll go tonight.
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apteryxawl
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Girl Talk show = most epic dancing experience ever.

Well, besides that one minimal techno club in Berlin. The Germans were amazingly spastic, yet no one got all up in my space. Props!
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thesciencegirl wields the truth like a mighty axe.
02/21/09

@ApteryxAwl: oh man, I hear Girl Talk and my body starts dancing of its own accord.
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Mafalda para Presidente
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Hortense, are you me? And could I please have my soul back?
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MeganGlass 就是一个古代的三明治
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Booze helps, but you will seldom see me dance. This is because I dance like stimpy.
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MediasBlue
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Small talk. Dancing. Being social with people I don't know. Bars. Clubs. *sigh* I'd rather replumb the men's room than do any of those. And I have to go to a retirement party soon, and while I know many people, no one is my age (most are 20 years older), and I'll have to be social. I'm dragging my feet (literally due to foot surgery) and trying to con our college age intern along for the ride, just so I will have someone to talk to. Poor girl - I even offered to buy dinner!

And that is why I am usually at home, with the Mr., watching movies, playing with the cats, and playing in the kitchen. And quite happy about it! Anti-social - yah, a bit, but I'm okay with it. And then I can read about what other Jezzies are cooking!
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Rare Affinity
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
People only started having problems with social dancing when they were suddenly expected to be their own choreographer. Hence the popularity of programmes like Dancing with the Stars or Strictly Come Dancing, where even the most heavy footed contestant can give Fred and Ginger a run for their money when they don't have to choreograph their every next step.

Occasionally, Hampton Court Palace and the like, put on dancing displays, enabling the public to join in and experience what social dancing was like for Henry VIII and his homies. These events are always great fun and very lively and even the most ungainly clodhopper would enjoy themselves.
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goldenmonkey
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
At least you went to the dances in junior high and high school and accompany friends to clubs. Once the dances started I just withdrew more. I never went to one of them. No prom either. No one asked.
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hortense
02/21/09

@goldenmonkey: It helped having a boy best friend in high school. We just ended up going together.
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kelsium
02/21/09

In reply to The Curse Of Being A Wallflower
Since we are talking about dancing I would like to wholeheartedly recommend watching Burn the Floor to anyone who likes any kind of dance: swing, tango, waltz, oh gosh it's got everything. Or if you just like to be entertained. My brother is a semi-professional dancer and I can't tell you how many awesome moves he stole from this show.
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