Jezebel 
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New York, 9:16 AM
Fri Nov 27
2 posts in the last 24 hours
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01/01/09
01/01/09
01/01/09
12/31/08
12/31/08
And NEVER attempt to open a frozen pizza while drunk late at night, because you will STICK THE SERRATED KNIFE RIGHT THROUGH YOU HAND and bleed all over and have to drive to the emergency room all by yourself with a bloody towel wrapped around your hand and a creepy vein hanging out of the hole that you couldn't stick back in. The tetanus shot alone is enough pain to ever deter you from doing that again.
12/31/08
01/01/09
Or both?
12/31/08
Happy New Year, everybody! Here, have another drink on me....
12/31/08
12/31/08
The last thing I remembered before that was having trouble staying on the sidewalk. And it was cold. And there might have been wolves after me.
Another time, to avoid driving drunk, I walked about 5 miles home. I'd missed the last bus and didn't want to wait for a cab. That was not so fun. But, I later learned that it was worth it. Wish I'd done that more often in my (drinking) past.
12/31/08
In regard to the PSA, here's my story: There's a large and very rowdy bar called Bootlegger's on MacDade Blvd not far from where we live. One night last winter, a college kid from the area was there with a bunch of his friends. They all got 'faced, and when they were all leaving they noticed that this particular kid was not among them. They called his cellphone for a while, got no answer, and figured he'd rolled out and went to a friends' place to pass out. Anyway, the next day no one had heard from him and his parents notified the police. It took a few days, but they found him, dead in a creek behind the bar. He was partially frozen. His parents stated that he'd had epilepsy, so he either had a seizure, fell in, and lost consciousness and drowned, or he'd just plain passed out and fell in the creek. Either way, he died. That there is a cautionary tale: Do not go out with friends who won't notice or care if you disappear, Do not get drunk enough to pass out anywhere but a bed/couch/chair/carpet, Do not go to bars that have creeks behind them.
ALSO: DO NOT DRIVE DRUNK.
ALSO: DO NOT GET INTO A FISTFIGHT WITH SOME TRASHY BITCH AT THE BAR. UNLESS SHE HITS YOU FIRST.
ALSO: DO NOT TOUCH ANY GUY YOU WOULDN'T TOUCH WHILE SOBER.
AND FINALLY: DO NOT BARF IN YOUR PURSE.(THAT'S WHAT POTATO CHIP BAGS AND PARTY HATS ARE FOR.)
12/31/08
12/31/08
I freakin LOVE that pic!
Okay, what'd the post say?
12/31/08
12/31/08
12/31/08
NEVER get in the car, ladies. Let them try to do their worst in public (most will give up on an assertive target), if they get you in the car, it's torture and rape, then likely death.
12/31/08
12/31/08
There's a busy bar just up the street from me (in northern NH) that isn't afraid to over serve people - heck, most of the staff are drunk too.
A few years ago, an inebriated female tourist left the bar in February without her coat and wandered down the street. She passed out in a snowbank and froze to death.
Drinking does not make you 6' tall and bulletproof - you only feel that way.
12/31/08
12/31/08
I'll be doing things Tscheese-style, sipping bubbly in a coffee mug in my underpants.
12/31/08
12/31/08
We'll just hang here quietly. The shotgun blasts will signal the new year's arrival here in Lower Crapovia, home of the Redneck.
12/31/08
12/31/08
12/31/08
Yes, I was an idiot in college.
12/31/08
Happy New Year gals - be safe, stay warm and have fun!
12/31/08
12/31/08
I've since learned that it's far, far better to savor a few tasty drinks and maybe get a little buzz that still leaves you sane enough to walk. It's not worth the sickness and disorientation.
12/31/08
12/31/08
12/31/08
12/31/08
Imbibe. Enjoy. Follow this plan [jezebel.com] ;-)
Have a Happy, Fun, and Safe New Year!
12/31/08
Luckily I got home in one piece, but it made me more careful about keeping an eye on my drinks around everyone, not just strangers!