[Moscow, September 24. Image via Getty]

People walk past paintings that contain images of Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, and oligarch Mikhail Prokhorov at the Central House of Artists in Moscow on September 24, 2009 during an annual art fair. AFP PHOTO / DMITRY KOSTYUKOV (Photo credit should read DMITRY KOSTYUKOV/AFP/Getty Images)

• Barack Obama has picked a theme for his inauguration: "A New Birth of Freedom." It comes from the Gettysburg Address, so it's not quite as cheezy as it sounds. [Huffington Post]
• Besides Rahm Emanuel, Robert Gibbs has reportedly accepted an offer to be the White House Press Secretary and David Axelrod has accepted a slot as Senior Adviser. [Politico, ABC]
• In the most intriguing appointment speculation, though, former Senator and Vietnam veteran Max Cleland — who lost to never-done-served Saxby Chambliss in 2002 when Chambliss ran ads calling veteran and amputee Cleland unpatriotic — may be appointed to be the new Army secretary. In other news, Chambliss will likely face a runoff in December to hold the Senate seat he doesn't deserve anyway. [Politico]
• Bush is also going to make sure (supposedly) that the Obama camp has a say in who gets the permanent staff positions overseeing the Treasury's bailout of our economy. [Politico]

• The Associated Press has finally called North Carolina for Obama. North. Fucking. Carolina. [Washington Post]
• And the Oregon Senate race has gone to the Democratic challenger, Jeff Merkley. Joe Lieberman is really sweating now. [Politico]
• And it looks like even the White House press corps — which is normally white enough to justify the name of the building — will be getting more diverse as white bureau chiefs recognize that maybe, just maybe, diversity can have actual benefits in terms of bringing multiple points of view into one's news coverage. [Politico]
• Everyone in Illinois, Delaware and D.C. are jockeying to put forth candidates to fill the soon-to-be-vacant Senate seats there. [NY Times]
• In what will likely become quite a bit of Republican jockeying, Republican Minority Whip Roy Blunt is putting down his whip and walking away from House Republican leadership — and so is Republican Conference Chairman Adam Putnam. Expect retirement announcements some time in 2009, once htey make sure Republican lobbyists can still make money. [Politico, Reuters]
• Spencer Ackerman thinks that part of the Republican jockeying will be neocons seeking to fill the (reportedly very) empty vessel of "Sarah Palin" full to the brim with all their foamy, war-loving anti-intellectual spooge. Only it sounds less porn-y when he says it. [Washington Independent]
• Los Angeles police vow to be prepared today for the protests by the LGBT community and its supporters over the fact that half the state thinks it is a good idea to rescind some of their civil rights. I guess they've decided to exercise one of them while they still have it. [LA Times]
• Eliot Spitzer will not be charged with the crime of whoremongering across state lines since he didn't sue campaign funds to pay the sex workers he employed. Somehow, we think this is probably cold comfort to Silda Spitzer, if she actually wasn't rooting for an indictment. [LA Times]
• And, apparently, the whole "peaceful transition" in Russia was just a ruse for Vladimir Putin to snap his fingers and change the law so he can be back in office next year. Oh, that's gonna work out well. [NY Times]

• If it wasn't enough to attack Barack Obama for what few ties he has to Bill Ayers, the McCain campaign is attempting to tie Michelle Obama to Bernardine Dohrn, Ayers' wife. Dohrn worked at Sidley Austin (a firm of 500 lawyer plus hordes of legal staff) at Sidley Austin in 1984, three years before Michelle did, so they were obvs BFF and conspired about... well, stuff. You know "those ones." [Talking Points Memo]
• McCain has decided to ask his supporters to try being "respectful" at rallies, despite his staff saying it's all Obama's fault that they aren't. [Politico, MSNBC]
• The former Republican governor of Michigan, William Milliken, respectfully thinks that McCain isn't the same guy he endorsed in the primaries. [Huffington Post]
• Republican Congressman Ray LaHood respectfully thinks that Sarah Palin's race-baiting "doesn't befit the office that she's running for." [Huffington Post]

• The Troopergate report will probably come out eventually. Just not in time for me to write about it tonight, so it must be juicy. [Washington Post]
• Rensselaer County, New York, "mistakenly" printed Barack Obama's name as "Barack Osama" on absentee ballots. I mistakenly typed this entire entry with my middle finger pointed in their direction and still managed not to confuse the letters B or S, let alone BS. [Times Union]
• Vladimir Putin got a tiger for his birthday, because he is completely insane. He's donating it to a zoo because, sadly, he's not the kind of crazy that would endanger his own life. Other people's? You betcha. [Huffington Post]
• And, although everyone told me he was a philanderer when I had a crush on him, the the former head of French police intelligence's diaries confirmed that Nicolas Sarkozy was banging his friend's wife back in the day. Le sigh. I always fall for the wrong guy. [The Times]

• There are already quotes from the Palin-Gibson confab! She threatens war with Russia, sidesteps the hubris question, and can't blink! It sounds all kinds of fair and balanced and totally not fluffy. Just because they're taking a stroll together doesn't mean it was too chummy.[Mark Ambinder, Mark Ambinder, TV Newser]
• But just because ABC is stretching the interview into 5 different news segments doesn't mean they're looking to boost ratings, obviously. The first segment airs tonight during what I like to call "drinking time" and other people consider "dinner time." [LA Times]
• In a page from Bush's playbook, Palin conducts state business on a personal email account to avoid disclosure laws, since that worked out so well for the Bush Administration. [Think Progress]
• Obama may have been kidding about being a Popular Mechanic centerfold, but they're offering to take him up on it anyway. David Axelrod needs to jump on that shit, like, yesterday, and show the pistol-packin' mama (per Cindy McCain) who's a regular person. [Popular Mechanics]

• Elsewhere in the world, Biden and his gaffe-maker (also known as his mouth) are prepping for the debate with Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm. She's going to try to be mean, and he's going to try not to be. [NY Times, HuffPo]
• Bolivia expelled our ambassador for daring to suggest maybe growing coca for export to the U.S. is a bad thing. [LA Times]
• Putin is threatening to point missiles at Europe if we put missiles in Europe, so Palin's thoughts of war with Russia might not really be that far off. [BBC News]
• Oh, and non-North Korea doctors — possibly even ones the regime didn't kidnap — operated on Kim Jong Il's brain after the stroke he's denying he had. Do Chinese doctors take a Hypocratic Oath? Is there a greater-good thing they could've relied upon? [Boston Globe]

MEGAN: Morning! Shall we get right down to analyzing the whole Edwards debacle?

SPENCER: I just wanted to say I went an entire weekend without fathering any illegitimate children OR vindicating Mickey Kaus.

MEGAN: Hey, and I haven't gotten knocked up either, so, congrats to both of us!

SPENCER: But this changes nothing. Mickey Kaus, now and forever, snacks on goat penis.

MEGAN: Well, I mean, he said it was really tasty.

SPENCER: So, you said in your post Friday that Edwards can't be Attorney General, which disappoints me tremendously. Do you think Elizabeth can launch her own political career? She's in remission, right?

MEGAN: Actually, I don't think she's in remission. She's incurable, so it's still going, sadly. I would've rather have seen Elizabeth's stellar political career. Rewind? I mean, the biggest problem is that paternity isn't going to be resolved. Rielle's not going to allow a DNA test, so everyone will continue to suspect it's his kid as I already do.

SPENCER: You saw her dKos diary, yeah? She wrote this like a pro:

John has spoken in a long on-camera interview I hope you watch. Admitting one’s mistakes is a hard thing for anyone to do, and I am proud of the courage John showed by his honesty in the face of shame.

I started singing the Ramones' "Swallow My Pride" to myself when I read this. and also "Swallow Goat Cock" By Kaus and the Goatees.

MEGAN: Which, I'm sorry, totally negates the whole "I asked her not to come on camera" bullshit Edwards pulled on Friday to appeal to us ladies.

SPENCER: He did what now?

MEGAN: On Friday, in his interview, Edwards told Woodruff that he not only didn't ask Elizabeth to appear with him but asked her not to, in effect saying he didn't want to be Spitzer, McGreevey or Craig, getting lambasted for having his wife by his side while admitting to this shit. BUT he had her talk to Bob Schieffer on the phone (sobbing, according to Schieffer) to confirm the 2006 version of events and then she did the thing on Kos.

So, I'm sorry, we don't have the visual, but I don't think he's a better guy. Also, as I said in my piece on Friday, I think he's lying on the timing and nothing I've read since does anything to disabuse me of that notion.

SPENCER: Well shit. But here's something else: in liberal circles in 2007, the drunken chatter was that Edwards didn't want to run for president, but Elizabeth, facing the clarifying prospect of her own mortality, wanted him to. Sounded plausible at the time! He had no chance of getting the nomination as soon as Obama jumped in, and possibly none before. But but but but BUT how could Elizabeth have known he slept with Rielle Hunter and then said "Fuck it, Johnny. You should still be president!"

MEGAN: I'm guessing that was just a story he put out there to look like less of a shitty husband for continuing to run while his wife had cancer. I'm sure she was supportive, but there was no firm indication that she'd live until the 2009 Inauguration when she was first diagnosed.

So, maybe seeing him as President was her semi-dying wish, maybe she'd internalized his desires to that degree that she thought it was, but it sounds to me like a pretty campaign fairy tale intended to make us believe in the John-and-Liz as a team thing. Anyway, back to why I'm sticking by my suspicions that he's still lying: Sam Stein thinks he is, too, and he's got even more evidence about when John and Rielle met, and when she got hired. And the Updated Newsweek story about how Rielle was indeed still going around claiming to be having an affair with someone the reporter knew (which, he didn't know Andrew Young) in January, which is the blind item Page Six had in January 06 as well.

SPENCER: Here's where I get exhausted with the story. OK OK he fucked her, might have fathered an illegitimate child, career's come to an end, it's DONE right? Does it matter if he's lying to the public if he's not going to be a public official anymore? At what point do we say enough, he's out of politics. I say right now!

MEGAN: Oh, you know me, I'm the type of person who hates to let that shit go. But on to new topics, then! Like the leaked Clintonian emails. Damn, I hate when shit makes Mark Penn look less incredibly wrong. Can't we just stick to mocking the chapter of his book about appealing to American snipers?

SPENCER: Let's chew on this a moment:

Penn, the presidential campaign’s chief strategist, wrote in a memo to Clinton excerpted in the article: “I cannot imagine America electing a president during a time of war who is not at his center fundamentally American in his thinking and in his values.”

MEGAN: George Bush in 08?

SPENCER: ... and so begins the header on a million GOP/McCain fundraising emails.

MEGAN: I mean, really, at this point, Penn ought to be getting fucking royalties from McCain's campaign.

SPENCER: so, congratulations, black people! Remember how you thought whites don't see you as American? Mark Penn just confirmed it. You are officially off the hook for the Iraq war.

MEGAN: Wait, according to Virginia Congressman Jim Moran it was all the Jews' fault anyway.

SPENCER: I'm curious to see in Josh's story what the Clinton machine's reaction to that memo was — whether that launched the Wright-based whisper campaign or whether the Clintonites rejected it. Yeah yeah that shit. But really — if that memo was ignored/repudiated, it's one thing. If it was ACTED UPON that is quite another.

MEGAN: Do you think that whether the Clintonistas put the Obama in Somali gear photo out there will be in there?

SPENCER: Mike "who's your celebrity crush" Allen says the Penn memo was 3/30/08 so I think that post-date Somalibama but NOT some of the Wright stuff.

MEGAN: I think this much was acted upon:

Every speech should contain the line you were born in the middle of America American to the middle class in the middle of the last century. And talk about the basic bargain as about the deeply American values you grew up with, learned as a child and that drive you today. Values of fairness, compassion, responsibility, giving back

Which, really, means Penn should pay royalties to Karl Rove.

SPENCER: Except Rove wins elections
MEGAN: What his lackeys will do with John McCain is another question.

SPENCER: ... ok back to Edwards for one second: can he really not be attorney general? He had such balls! He was going to be the leftwing John Ashcroft, fucking with the right just to fuck with them! The mailed fist in Obama's politics-of-hope-and-reconciliation velvet glove? Really? I have to give up the dream? The dream of indictments for torture and rendition and US attorney firings and warrantless surveillance? What if he just says the kid is mine? The Democrats are going to have 57 fucking Senate seats!

MEGAN: I really don't think he can be. Can you imagine those confirmation hearings? Especially if it turns out he was still lying? If he used donor money to pay his mistress (let alone hush up his mistress)? Did you check the Baron angle — that's Edwards' finance chair who paid both Rielle and Andrew Young and his wife and kids to get the fuck out of North Carolina but says he didn't get the money from Edwards or the campaign? Oh, right, and this:

The associate, who asked not to be identified, said Mr. Young has privately made conflicting statements about the extent of his relationship with Ms. Hunter and whether he is the child’s father.

Like, all of that, up for review, in the confirmation hearing for the guy who's supposed to play gotcha with the Bushies? I think you need to get yourself a new legal pitbull, as do I.

SPENCER: BUT GODDAMN IT i need to see someone go to jail on this shit. I guess if you're Obama you want to be light years away from Edwards' cocktrouble, but if he doesn't appoint a real left-wing SOB for AG I will be sorely disappointed. Now I feel fucked by John Edwards. Hopefully I remain unpregnant.

MEGAN: Well, how much would you sorta like to see, um, Bill Clinton in that role. If the Dems get 60 in the Senate.

SPENCER: Well, not if he acquiesced to that Penn memo!

MEGAN: Can you imagine Bill Clinton with subpoena power? His bar membership's been reinstated.

SPENCER: and that's a confirmation hearing you relish?

MEGAN: Hey, I said if they get to 60.

SPENCER: actually on second thought, it would be awesome to see Clinton-as-pugilist putting it back on, say, Inhofe or Sessions.

MEGAN: I'm just enjoying the thought of Bill Clinton with the power to investigate the dirty laundry of those that investigated his blowjobs, because you know there is worse than a couple of intern beejes going on in Washington.

SPENCER: But speaking of going back: the right-wing veterans organization Vets For Freedom are sending right-wing Iraq vets to embed in Iraq. and you know what? I have absolutely no problem with this.

MEGAN: Really? That the Weekly Standard and the National Review are putting a bunch of right-wing non-jouno partisan hacks on the masthead for the purpose of war promotion and we're footing the bill? Please explain.

SPENCER: That "we're footing the bill" bullshit applies to ALL EMBEDS.

MEGAN: Yes, which I'm fine with when their stated purpose is not to promote the war and elect John McCain.

SPENCER: Like, you paid for my trip to Baghdad & Mosul last year, and I reported from a liberal perspective. That's structurally indistinguishable from what the VFF ppl are doing.

MEGAN: Except you're an actual reporter.

SPENCER: It's not something the Pentagon is in the business of stopping. You'd rather not live in a world where the Pentagon starts deciding who is and who isn't a reporter.

MEGAN: No, you're right, I just wonder why the WS and the NR can't find actual reporters to go. Is there a word for that?

SPENCER: A bunch of antiwar bloggers have embedded as well. The embed program is open, and in terms of the "harm" they do, only the 27 Percenters who still back Bush would read this shit anyway.

MEGAN: Chiiiickenhawk or something?

SPENCER: No, I doubt that, I just think the Standard & NRO know a gimmick when they see one, and think that it'll be harder for leftwing antiwarriors to attack pieces written by vets. and to that, I must quote Beyonce: "they must not know 'bout me, they must not know 'bout me." but, look, you know, the game is the game, and let's see how they play it.

MEGAN: I am happy to attack pieces written by vets. Heck, I've gotten into no less than two ugly political arguments with veteran friends of mine and finally threw up my hands and said, "If you want to buy what they're selling, rationality and actual facts aren't going to convince you, so don't ever ask me questions again."

SPENCER: Also, speaking of BALLING, everybody note that my roommate and homie Matt Yglesias launched his new ThinkProgress blog today!

MEGAN: Congrats to him! Should we talk about that little war thing that started this weekend? I hear, by the way, that anything good about Russian cuisine comes from Georgia.

SPENCER: I dunno. I make a kickass borscht.

MEGAN: Georgian wine is definitely better, not that it's not virtually impossible to come by here.

SPENCER: So yeah while I was driving for an internet-free weekend in State College, PA Russia attacked Georgia or something? I should know about this shit so enlighten me.

MEGAN: Well, so, Georgia went into the disputed territory of South Ossetia where the citizens apparently want to go back to being Russian, so the Russians moved in. And because they're the Russian military, they routed the Georgians. Now they're bombing the capital of Tbilisi and sending ground forces to Gori, which is in Georgia proper, about which one diplomat said, "They seem to have gone beyond the logical stopping point."

SPENCER: Also LOL my friend Benny's band is on the cover of the new Kerrang!

MEGAN: Man, your friends are sort of kicking ass today. They're like the Russians of pop culture.

SPENCER: Yeah so that sucks and we should set to work on the diplomatic course of getting the UN Security Council to turn back the invasion and restore the status quo ante.

MEGAN: Yeah, that's sort of what the Georgians think only you know who sits on the Security Council?

SPENCER: Yeah yeah.

MEGAN: That's why the UN has been so effective in Chechnya. And you know we aren't going to do it because Bush is hard at work at the Summer Olympics and he's seen into Putin's soul.

SPENCER: You know what sets a really bad precedent? Invading other countries while circumventing the UN Security Council. I mean call me crazy!
MEGAN: Well, right, and that. The Security Council basically functions as a rubber stamp for the foreign policies of its members.

SPENCER: Next he'll look into Rielle Hunter's vagina.

MEGAN: This D.C.-based hangover case is trying to get pissed about something but all I can come up with is a sense of mild disgust that Cindy McCain cites Princess Di as an inspiration. I mean, I know between all her recipe-swiping and whatever that Cindy isn't the most creative person in the world but come on! Between this and Jackie O, can she choose more archetypes of the supportive-but-not-controversial wife to emulate to get her husband elected?
MOE: Wait, one sec, I forgot to tell you I'm doing DIRT BAG today. You know what that means? I fucking read TMZ and Page Six etc. etc. all morning. Apparently Janis Ian via David Geffen turned down an offer to do music for The Graduate. And that is what passes for a Page Six item on a Thursday in late June when Richard Johnson is on vacation!
MEGAN: Well, you go get dirrrty, I'll be here when you get back and not remotely envious of your gossip-reading.

MOE: Wait cindy mccain cites jackie as an inspiration? I thought that was Michelle's territory? And wasn't Jackie kind of controversial? Didn't she like, do drugs and give her daughters eating disorders and repress a full 90% of her emotions like all those beautiful icons of her generation??
MEGAN: Well, sure, but no one said anything about that until much later.

MEGAN: Anyway, we should probably totally talk about the whole North Korea thing briefly. Like, I sort of wonder if it's a good thing that all Kim Jong Il has to do is turn over some stuff detailed his weapons programs — without actually, you know, stopping them — and we're already lifting sanctions?

MOE: Well, what the fuck good have the sanctions done? How much thinner can they get in North Korea? I dunno…I kind of don't get the sense that we're dealing with a rational, logical guy in that Kim Jong Il. Maybe "engagement" would be kind of like the oil cleansing method of fighting breakouts. Like a "love bomb" on that show "Intervention."
MEGAN: Except that didn't we try that in the Clinton Administration? We offered them enticements, conducted negotiations and then Kim did what he wanted to do anyway which was get his hands on nukes. It's totally a no-win situation, but I guess I'm concerned in the medium- to long-term that allowing ourselves to be economically invested there could have negative repercussions on our foreign policy since it, you know, seemingly always does.

MOE: Has becoming economically interdependent with China had negative FP repercussions? I mean, sure you'll find lots of instances where that would be the case — the whole career of this guy, such as — and they haven't been exactly helpful when it comes to dealing with the DPRK, maybe some casino magnate can convince them to change their policy about sending North Korean border-crossers back to North Korea, but I'm trying to hone in on what you're saying with the "always does." Anyway in the case of North Korea is the big new concern their cooperation with Syria? I still haven't read the story. I'll do that now. Also we should maybe discuss child rapists and FISA.

MEGAN: I mean, in my mind, we find it really easy to take a hard foreign policy stand in countries where we have no economic interest or, in the case of the Iraq, where a hard foreign policy stand is aligned with our economic interests. Sometimes, like with Burma, that's probably a good thing, other times less so — agricultural competition and Cuba comes to mind, actually. But, yes, China was the example I was thinking of when saying our economic interests seemingly trump our foreign policy ones. Like, there's a whole army of lobbyists that will lobby for their companies' interests in China and strongly oppose any government action against China in a foreign policy sense that might interfere with that.

MOE: Oh god CHECK IT OUT we averted recession go us.
MEGAN: Well, we avoided it first quarter by just being anemic.
MEGAN: I'm not feeling the growth love.
MOE: Yeah I was being sarcastic but you know me.
MEGAN: Also, don't we all love how we live in an age where all kinds of information is at our fingertips, but economists still can only call it an official recession in retrospect 2 financial quarters later?

MOE: I think we should seal all aggregate economic data for a few years and come together as a nation to figure out what would really make everyone happier.
MEGAN: See, I actually wonder if it would even be possibly to determine that given our culture is so steeped in the idea that the ability to consume = happiness
MOE: Anyway, would you get in a time machine and, like, assassinate Kissinger before he had a chance to chill with Mao? Oh shit that reminds me I've got that Harper's somewhere with the amazing transcript of that. Because I wouldn't. Would I? Nah. I mean, it would be interesting.
MEGAN: I've watched and read too much SciFi to think that changing the past like that would be a good idea.
MEGAN: Anyway, so, wiretapping and child rapists?
MOE: Yeah I mean, I'm not really that interested in this fire and brimstone shit but Bobby Jindal is apparently like, okay, if you won't let us execute our child rapists I am going to have them CHEMICALLY CASTRATED. I'm almost afraid to click and find out what that meas.

MEGAN: Well, look, there are 5 states that have the law on the books now, but Louisiana was the first. Patrick Kennedy (poor, black) was the first child rapist ever given the death penalty in such a case, in 2003— but the law was passed in 1995
MOE: Oh man it's just Depo-Provera??
MEGAN: Yeah, mostly. Also, chemical castration doesn't solve the problem Chemically castrated rapists have offended again.
MEGAN: Plus, hello, life in prison?

MEGAN: Basically, the idea is that you can't get a boner or you can't ejaculate, but you can rape a person without a dick and Viagra can overcome Depo. Plus, it's rooted in the idea that rape is about sexual arousal, when when is at least as much about power and dominance.
MEGAN: So, if a rapist wants to show dominance, he doesn't need an erection. Lots of rapes are committed with objects (see:Joe Francis' rape).
MOE: Oh dude…uh speaking of dominance ?…WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE POLLS WHY DOES GALLUP SAY IT IS A TIE AND EVERYONE ELSE IS LIKE UH-UH OBAMA IS WINNNNING
MEGAN: Well, Gallup says it's within the margin of error, so they're not even sure it represents a change.
MEGAN: The Rasmussen standard is "likely" voters, while Gallup only asks registered voters.

MEGAN: The real mystery to me is the LA Times/Bloomberg poll which has Obama miles ahead but uses the registered voter standard.
MOE: No but like all the polls had Obama 12 points ahead, and then Gallup came out and declared a tie, but whatever I wanted to go back to the fact that, like, even if you isolate North Korea economically they have gotten really good at printing fake currency so that is a problem. Anyway, here's Condi Rice telling everyone how she decided to remove North Korea from the terror list. Nowhere does she say "they are not terrorists because LOOK THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN ALLAH" but you know that's the subtext.
MEGAN: Sure, counterfeiting our money to give to terrorists in exchange for stuff legit governments won't sell them: not terrorism. Because they're not Muslim.
MOE: Oh, well that's simple enough. Registered vs. likely, sure. Mystery solved.
MEGAN: Also, back to the LA Times poll, they included Barr (3%) and Nader (4%), both coming mostly from McCain voters. Also, the LA Times poll is the only one with that large a margin, the Rasmussen and Gallup are both within each other's margins of error.
MEGAN: Also, it appears that the LA Times poll asked about isues and party affiliation, which would naturally affect responses. Gallup just asks "who you gonna vote for."

MEGAN: So, like, to me, that would indicate that in a knee-jerk reaction poll, they're more even but when voters are asked to think about the issues and with whom they agree and what is most important to them issues-wise, Obama does waaaaay better. Which is really interesting.
MEGAN: Yes, I did take statistical methodology as part of my major in Sociology, why do you ask?
MOE: Wait, ADD time, back to the Supreme Court death penalty decision and how it maybe reflects a shift on how the Court views executing people.

Justice Kennedy's majority opinion includes striking comments indicating possible skepticism about the entirety of capital punishment jurisprudence. In a remarkable statement, he says that the court's extensive body of death-penalty case law "is still in search of a unifying principle." That's a pretty bold statement about the whole project. And consider this statement by Kennedy today: "When the law punishes by death, it risks its own sudden descent into brutality, transgressing the constitutional commitment to decency and restraint."

MEGAN: Well, that goes along with the statement in the majority opinion that taking the death penalty off the table to child rapists reflect shifting social values about the death penalty.
MEGAN: That, like, since the standard for "cruel and unusual" changes over time as society changes, so does the Constitutionality of the punishment. I'm okay with that.

MOE: Me too! I think I'm also okay with Karl Rove calling out Obama's "alpha male attitude." Because, LOL!

Mr. Obama's alpha-male attitude was evident even as he stumbled towards and over the primary finish line. First, his campaign announced in May it was talking to Patti Solis Doyle after Sen. Clinton fired her as campaign manager. This served only to pour salt in the Clintons' wounds.

MEGAN: Right, because most politicians and political operatives aren't Type A personalities AT ALL.

MEGAN: But I guess Karl is himself a little more passive-aggressive, and if Bush really did fire him in church so he couldn't make a scene, so is Bush, so maybe Karl's just too used to passive-aggressivity to view assertiveness as anything other than hyper-aggressive?
MEGAN: WAIT oh my God, Karl Rove is everyone I date.
MOE: Um, also how did I miss Obama dissing Scarlett Johansson, (which Mickey Kaus deems "inexplicably clumsy," somewhat inexplicably, since he cops to having watched her video, and like, hello.)

MEGAN: Ummm, I would guess it has a lot more to do with downplaying the black man-white woman vaguely flirtatious suggestion aspect of it.
MOE: Ya think???
MEGAN: Which is just sad.
MOE: Interesting Spiegel piece on Why Russia Is Risking Another Cold War by amping up its military might. The answer seems to be that it isn't, but Putin talks a good game.
MEGAN: Well, who would they have a Cold War with? We're all into hot wars now, and really only in terrorist-sponsoring states that just happen to be Muslim and don't have nukes and shit.

MEGAN: Obama, by the way, is flip-flopping on the DC gun ban since he's trying to win swing states and the Supreme Court is expected to throw it out today.
MOE: Ugh and what the fuck was up with FISA?
MEGAN: The security of the American people trumps their need to protect (i.e., sue over) their right to privacy. He managed to combine a Republican argument on the supreme importance of national security with an implied Republican argument on tort reform. Plus, he can't look soft on terrorism or something and the Democrats have collectively decided to cave on telecomm immunity because they like having Bush scratch their bellies.

MOE: Oh here, they threw it out. Yay.
MEGAN:

Justice Antonin Scalia, writing for four colleagues, said the Constitution does not permit "the absolute prohibition of handguns held and used for self-defense in the home."

MOE: Scalia wrote the opinion. 5-4 decision. Can't wait to read!

MEGAN: You can right here, if you want.

MEGAN: Um, prosecutor dude? Most 63-year-old women don't really menstruate.
MEGAN: Also, the whole thing just makes the prosecutor sound like en enourmous douchesack.
MOE: Um, and speaking of sex crimes...James Bevel WTF. The septugenarian MLK BFF is going to prison for incest. Feeling up his daughter = science class!

Hoffman asked Bevel whether he had ever rubbed Machado's chest — another allegation she has made but one that is not part of this criminal case.
"Yes, I have engaged in rubbing [her] chest in an educational context," he said. Bevel testified that as a minister and a teacher, he has educated people, including his children, on the "science" of sex and marriage.

MEGAN: Also, I love that his defense lawyer played a video of the pervert with MLK in order to try to get the jury to reduce his sentence for molesting his daughter, even though everyone testified she was neither his first nor his last victim.
MEGAN: Especially given what I know about how the King family treats scholars that wish to use their archives (but remembering that they sold his Lincoln Memorial speech footage for a telecomm commercial).
MOE: Fuck if I know honestly. He's 71 so it's sort of a moot point. He was sentenced 15 years. Isn't incest also a worse crime than simple molestation? I'm changing the subject though. Margaret Carlson, who is I guess writing for Bloomberg now, takes issue with John McCain's optimism re coming together and ensuring The Iraq invasion was not and invainsion. Deep down she would like to buy into his romantic worldview, but she can't. I can't read any of this without thinking how she stalked Fred Thompson and, therefore, you know, should probably steer clear of matters pertaining to the nexus of politics and romantic worldviews?

MEGAN: Ew, she stalked Fred Thompson?
MEGAN: As in, she wanted to bone him?
MOE: Oh yes!
MEGAN: You know, I have to say and we can all admit that some women like to pursue attached men, as though it's some sort of validation of their hotness or something. I once dated an older guy — who, truly, was neither tall, built, obviously wealthy, or anything close to "hot" but he did look 20 years older than me — and I'll be damned if every time we were in a bar together if some women 10 years or more older than me wouldn't mack on him.
MEGAN: And I wanted to be like... he's dating a 25-year-old. Really?
MEGAN: But, yeah, at the point at which a dude's girlfriend goes to the papers about you, you really gotta examine that line between "aggressive pursuit" and "stalker." And when you're pursuing Fred Thompson, you really gotta deal with your daddy issues (which, hello, is why I started seeing a therapist).
MEGAN: Not that I pursued Fred Thompson.

MEGAN: Hey, speaking of kooky old men and bitter women, here's a new poll showing that 25% of Obama supporters and 30% of Clinton supporters will vote McCain out of spite if the other candidate gets the Democratic nod. 100 years of Iraq! God, I love being an imperialist occupying force.

MOE: Honestly? I just don't believe any of that crap. Why? Who are these crackpots? Also: the Pennsylvania primary: can it just happen already?
MEGAN: No, dammit, Moe, you will pay attention to Pennsylvania for a whole 4 weeks before it fades into Rust Belt obscurity until October when it gets called a swing state and pretends to be important in the scheme of things.
MOE: I don't know how to segue. I didn't read this story about how Barack Obama is refusing to dole out "street money" to ward leaders in Philadelphia, but I'll say this about ward leaders in Philadelphia: they expect their street money. People who play the lottery like to be bribed, even if the bribes are comically low, which they generally are in the case of street money.
MEGAN: I read it! I was like, holy shit, is that shit actually legal? And I love how the low-end street money recipients are all like, but how can he spend a million dollars on advertisements and not buy our votes? They literally want him to spend half a million in bribes to win in Philly and he's all like, whatever, I got North Carolina I need to advertise in.

MOE: The thing is, you know, the ward leaders dole out the money to committepersons to get out the vote on election day. Committemen are like block captains basically. They basically get around $50 to make sure everyone goes to the polls. FIFTY BUCKS. They do this for fifty bucks. If that isn't a sign the market economy has failed us, well...
MEGAN: I think the prob is that Obama is used to people doing that for free because of his hope-y deliciousness. I guess hope doesn't go that far when you'll work your ass off for $50.
MOE: Well it's also not just the fifty bucks. It's respect. It's tradition. In Philadelphia if you're a committeeperson you are upholding a tradition. The fifty bucks is not much, especially compared to, say, the fact that you can get your deadbeat ex-con son-in-law a cushy job at City Hall ...or that you're the person your neighbors approach in when they find junkies on their doorsteps or when they want to shut down the Section 8 house... the fifty bucks, it's a symbol...of an anachronistic, flawed, pillaged democratic system? Which is sort of what makes Obama's gamble interesting.
MEGAN: It's also why I don't gamble. I think immediate self-interest and ego will always trump politics.

MOE: And yet again I find myself at a loss when a segue should be easy here. Maybe because the "end of history" has ended? Nothing makes sense anymore. There is no Barack Obama of the whole "Autocracy is Virtuous" meme, or if there is we're too busy watching The Hills to know who the fuck it is. But yeah, anyway...street money, tradition, Putin, Hu Jintao...
MOE:

As some Chinese scholars put it, democratic liberalism became dominant after the fall of Soviet communism and is sustained by an "international hierarchy dominated by the United States and its democratic allies," a "U.S.-centered great power group." The Chinese and Russians feel like outliers from this exclusive and powerful clique. "You western countries, you decide the rules, you give the grades, you say, 'you have been a bad boy,'" complained one Chinese official at Davos this year. Putin also complains that "we are constantly being taught about democracy."

MEGAN: Autocracy gets its own wing of Poli Sci Theory 101! Hooray.
MEGAN: What I liked about it was where they compared Putin to one of the Louises
MEGAN:

When Louis XIV remarked, "L'Etat, c'est moi," he was declaring himself the living embodiment of the French nation, asserting that his interests and France's interests were the same. When Putin declares that he has a "moral right" to continue to rule Russia, he is saying that it is in Russia's interest for him to remain in power; and just as Louis XIV could not imagine it being in the interests of France for the monarchy to perish, neither can Putin imagine it could be in Russia's interest for him to give up power. As Minxin Pei has pointed out, when Chinese leaders face the choice between economic efficiency and the preservation of power, they choose power. That is their pragmatism.

MEGAN: It's just practically another rehashing of the big-man theory of political history with a soupçon of structuralist theory thrown in (i.e., the Chinese and Russians don't mind being ruled by autocrats) so he doesn't get laughed out of academia for subscribing to a 50s notion of how the world works.
MOE: Annoying quibble: why can't we just get used to the fact that Chinese put their last names first? Pei Minxin. We're such hegemonists. And wait, are you referring to Putin? Or the author?
MEGAN: The author, though I have no doubt whatsoever that Putin subscribes to the same theory. He doesn't seem like a structuralist. That's, like, practically Marxist.
MOE: How do you do that thing with the "soupcon"
MOE: Do it with "neocon"

MEGAN: Neoçon. It's fun, isn't it? Since I majored in a language and took another in college, I had to memorize all the keyboard shortcuts. On a PC (yes, I know, I'm antiquated) it's Alt+0231 on your numbers pad. I think on a Mac it's an Alt comma, but it's been 13 years since I did it on a Mac.
MEGAN: Other fun foreign characters? æ and ß, my beloved s-zett practically eliminted by the Rechtschreibungsreform at the turn of the century. Sigh.
MOE: yeah we don't have "alt." maybe option. That's cool though, I don't really trust those funny symbol thingies. And I don't know why I'm trying to make myself slog through this. I am not just bored with the ephemera; I am the ephemera. Maybe it's an absurdist exercise. Yes, that's it.
MEGAN: Yeah, Option is right.
MOE: ∆¬¥ˆ¬∂ˆø˜µ¬∑¥∂≈∫¥å≈≥
MOE: What if we just did that all day? Someone would have to read it!
MEGAN: People would totally cut and paste it into Word or something and try it in another font hoping it was Wingdings

MEGAN: Soooo, you thought yesterday was a slow news day?
MOE: Haha yeah, today all the news is about Medved-EVER. Like it even matters. Okay, so he's just basically like the same thing as Putin only, another physical person right? Like a body double. I hate it when a dictatorship gets a new leadership and you're supposed to try and figure out how they'll do things differently. It's like.... Kremlinology, you know?
MEGAN: He's more like a puppet than a body double, and a fairly atractive puppet at that.
[Insert joke here about where Putin inserts his hand to make Medved's mouth move]
MOE: I guess they met in college, where Putin was a KGB "student", working for a beloved anticommunist law professor named Anatoly Sobchak. But Putin was 13 years older and had old-man taste in music so Medvedev must have known he was a narc. Anyway Medvedev used to have his own views but now he is too powerful for that and anyway, Hillary Clinton almost remembered his name at the debate. Should we bring this back to American politics at this point?
MEGAN: Are you going to correct our misspellings of his name, too?
MOE: Oh also I think it's fair to say that as the chairman of the national gas company Gazprom he's been like the best CEO ever.
American shareholders only WISH they could get someone like him in charge. If you thought Dick Cheney was awesome at Halliburtion...
MEGAN: OMG, totally. There's just something about having the government help you create a monopoly that totally drives up stock prices.
MOE: Ooooh and he has recently lost weight, which the Russian media has speculated is in deference to Putin. Imagine a media so repressed that the weight fluctuations of luminaries was some of the only subject matter up for critical analysis! I know it's hard, Megan, but TRY.
MEGAN: Can you imagine, Putin being all like, um, Meddy, seriously? You don't need that second piece of Chicken Kiev. Do you know how long you'll have to job to work it off?
MOE: I actually think the communication was less verbal than that
MEGAN: Also, fully knowing that I'll never be able to go to Russia after writing this, I'm going to do it anyway. Putin uses steroids.
MOE: If Putin felt he needed his deputy to lose weight I think he would have sent the communique via other channels
Anyway so while we are talking about other countries we should probably mention that Obama, IMHO, left it wiiiiiide open for John McCain to make him look like an idiot re the Iraq when he said he reserved the right to send troops back in "IF Al Qaeda is forming a base in Iraq." One word, Barry. One very unfortunate word. Not that I saw this on the news yesterday so maybe no one's paying attention...
MEGAN: Well, like, maybe he totally meant, like, an actual military base. Like, totally.
MOE: Hahahaha it's ON TV RIGHT NOW.
Also, I actually really hate his response
MEGAN: It's been on a loop since 7:30, and I'm not even watching Fox News.
MOE: and I love Barry.
Oh shit that means I've just revealed myself as someone who's been watching Live with Regis and Kelly.
MEGAN: OMG, SOMEONE PLEASE FEED DANA BASH
Sorry, seeing her in the morning makes me want to binge on chocolate croissants
Luckily, doing so would require I get dressed and leave the house, so I don't.
MOE: But "There was no such thing as Al Qaeda in Iraq until George Bush and John McCain decided to invade Iraq" is an annoying response. It goes back to the whole "let's get inside a time machine and go back" aspect to the Obama message that, you know, if that was really what I wanted wouldn't I vote back the couple that ruled America throughout the eight years prior to all this?
MEGAN: It's sorta like... soooo, if we get rid of George Bush, al Qaeda will leave Iraq? Ok, suh-weet!
MOE: Do you think some people think that if we elected Obama, the evildoers would wave the white flags and trade in their guns for. ... laptops or whatever? Because I sometimes think some people think that.
MEGAN: Only for Macs, though. PCs are for imperialist pigs.
MOE: Well, actually, the most non-imperialist computers are the Linux hand crank-powered $100 laptops being peddled by .... .one of the Negropontes and neither Steve Jobs nor Bill Gates has been particularly supportive of the program, but in the long run I'd say Jobs is the imperialist because Gates actually just made all that money so he could give it away. Anyway, back to Obama-McCain: I'm really psyched about this. Because both Obama AND McCain, amazingly, are backing down from their base-energizing extremist positions on the war. And the interesting thing about an ill-conceived war that is going badly but responding somewhat to increased funding where the primary challenges on all counts are about morale and infrastructure and hearts and minds and civil society and, you know, FUNDING... there is a right answer to ending this, and it is not an ideological answer.
Also how did it become 9:30 oh fuck.
guess if Obama gets too rattled by McCain he can always pull out the he's not eligible to be president because he's not a natural born US American card. Or anyway, that could make for a funny SNL skit maybe.
MEGAN: Were you getting the emails from that crazy woman the last month?
MOE: Hahaha no.... lemme guess ? A Paultard?
MEGAN: I can't believe she sparked a real story. She must be so pissed everyone waited until after the primary.
She is from Texas. Paultardism is a significant possibility.
MOE: Well now it's kind of cool bc it's like, yeah, Obama looks like Mr. Universe but which candidate has actually spent more years of his life outside US America?
hahaha did you see this shit about Bill Clinton phoning Tina Fey to thank her? Another great SNL skit!
MEGAN: I did not? Bitch is the new black, though!
Oh, Bill Clinton's bitter? That's sad. I don't want him to be bitter!

MOE: Hey! Look! We're on the same couch!
hahaha I heard that! Someone's IM-ing you!

MEGAN: And both hung over!

MOE: You're supposed to be doing crappy hour!

MEGAN: It was you! I swear! God, you're soooo jealous.

MOE: Oh, yes, I'm hungover. I have these friends who actually have the day off!

Whoa! Jumpy much?
MEGAN: There was a gnat!

MOE: (Megan just killed a "bug")

Okay dude, so we have soooo"are a contributor to global warming.

MOE: This is why I drink kombucha.

I like my gut flora.

Anyway this wasn't even ON the agenda today.
MEGAN: Oh, like we have an "agenda." That's for grown-ups

And/or people without hangovers who work in their PJs
MOE: So like Harold and Kumar are going to Guantanamo, bro!
MEGAN: That's what Kal Penn gets for supporting Obama!
MOE: It's just one of the many examples that the fact we have this random prison in a country we don't even recognize for people we think might be terrorists but no one has enough evidence to press charges!

oh let's finish that sentence1

It's just one of the many examples that the whole Guantanamo thing has sorta seized the public imagination!

Imagine that!
It comes out April 25

MEGAN: I think that the public would rather the prison was fictional. I know I'd like it better that way.

MOE: How many prisoners are still left there?
MEGAN: several hundred
MOE: I really wish that story had been written by the Washington Post.

My old friend Jon wrote Harold & Kumar with his college buddy one summer at Penn.
I was always so proud of him bc he went to Wharton and usually people who go to Wharton wind up just making their money by gambling with other people's money but he actually gambled with his creative soul!
So like

MEGAN: The only famously immature person from my alma mater is Howard Stern.
MOE: Ooooooh we have Donald Trump and Saul Steinberg and Warren Buffett. And Andrea Mitchell but whatevs. And Melissa Rivers! ANYHOWZE
Kosovo declared independence! Should we talk about this? And by "we" I mean "you" because all I remember about Kosovo is how they are ethnic Albanians or whatever, and Albania had that whole ponzi scheme thing.

And how we used to like to stick up for the religious freedom of Muslims.

MEGAN: Um, I know their PM is hott.

MOE: Until we realized they were EEEEVIL et.c
MEGAN: And Kissinger droned on about them during his speech at my college graduation in 1999

Which, like, it's 2008 and something is only now happening?
Also, the Serbs don't like it, and their PM claims that it's all a violent thing initiated by Bush, only his supporters slept off their hangovers before getting around to initiating some violence before his speech so they did it after.
And then they stoned our embassy in Belgrade.
Oh, and the UN still has to protect Serbian minorities in Kosovo from violence from Kosovars.
MOE: Now, Putin hates Kosovo bc of Chechnya? Or just bc he's EEEEVIL?
MEGAN: Um, I'm voting Evil. Putin hates breakaway provinces, and anything supported by us, like Kosovo. And Muslims. Especially breakaway Muslims.
MOE: Right. But he's down with like Iran and Syria right?
MEGAN: Yeah. I'm pretty sure he's just jealous because everyone thinks Thaci is prettier.
MOE: Okay sooooo Jessica Baty
MEGAN: I feel so awful for her when she starts crying.
MOE: The girlfriend of Steven Kazmierczak says he was on Prozac.

I feel like crying when she cries.
"Interest in Nietzche is the one thing all school shooters have in common." That might be the only thing he shares with them though.
MEGAN: I feel like the aggressive wearing of all black clothing is another thing.
MOE: But yeah, reading about how he was so focused on prison reform and rehabilitating criminals and giving people who had fucked up a fair shake — that probably points to something. Maybe like rabidly homophobic Christians who are closet gays! OR something.
So, uh, what's happening on the John Edwards endorsement front? Predictions?

MEGAN: Well, one of the reports I read yesteday said they he was cutting himself while in juvie, and then wrote a thesis on self-mutilation in the prison system.
I think Edwards waited too long to be relevant.

I mean, he dropped out ages ago, and Mitt dropped out last week, and Mitt's endorsed by Johnny hasn't

MOE: And should we discuss how Obama has convinced Charles Barkley to run for governor of Alabama?
MEGAN: In 2014!

MOE: Well Edwards can make up for poor timing with a good speech if he does it soon.

MEGAN: Soon being the operative word.

MOE: If he does it this week he can get a whole week of coverage.
MEGAN: But he's "torn," like Natalie Imbruglia and thus equally irrelevant
MOE: Hahaha I just saw random pix of Natalie Imbruglia on one of the wire services! She was hanging out with Natalia Vodianova, Lucy Liu and Valentino at some really weird looking event that has to have taken place in a foreign country.

NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.
MEGAN: But, yes, Edwards needs to make up his mind really soon
MOE: I'm looking for fun art re Guantanamo and it's hard! Did you see Sicko? He went there but it was hard to get in.
Oh and speaking of ...Morgan Spurlock! Loser.

MEGAN: And, by hard, I assume you mean "he almost got blowed up"
I just don't understand why you would go to Afghanistan to search for OBL and think you wouldn't face crazy death threats.