• Could Michael Lohan go to jail for the phone calls he's been leaking?

Apparently Dina Lohan has had a protective order since 2005 — and it bans Michael Lohan from communicating with Dina by email or phone through 2011. One of the calls is supposedly from 2008, meaning Michael definitely violated the order. [TMZ]

• A "source" on Nicole Kidman's face at the Country Music Awards: "She looked freakish; She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dating! Director Catherine Hardwicke says so! But she says: "It didn't happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film," since KStew was 18. Now that she's 19, it's on! TWILIGHT IS REAL ZOMG SPARKLEVAMP 4EVA BITE ME. [Us]
• Because he is awesome, Johnny Depp has offered to take care of Nicolas Cage's debts. Apparently Johnny was a struggling musician when he met Nic in the '80s, and Nic sent Johnny to his agent, who cast Johnny in Nightmare On Elm Street. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston had his Playgirl shoot yesterday, which involved a hockey stick and, naturally, nudity. Levi's manager Tank Jones says: "The shoot was fantastic! People are going to see more of Levi than they thought." Grrrreat. There's another shoot today; may we suggest a moose-skin rug? Or an igloo? [Us]
• Levi Johnston says he sees his upcoming memoir becoming a movie. "I would play myself," he says, naturally. [Gatecrasher]
• As previously mentioned, Chris Brown went to a Footaction store on Wednesday, and was heckled. A woman shouted, "I hope someone beats the fucking shit out of you!" Today Chris will be on Wendy Williams saying he's been "perceived wrong" and I'm definitely remorseful, and it's not something that I take lightly or think that it's, like, under the rug." [Page Six]
• Before the Country Music Awards, Wynonna Judd said Taylor Swift's nomination for Entertainer Of The Year was "too much too soon… I want kids to earn it." But now she says: "My intent was not to take anything from her talent and contributions to the country music industry… Taylor is a beautiful, hard working young woman that deserves the success she has had and I support her as an artist and as a woman in the business." Sure, sure. [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen has hurt her foot after falling while carrying a suitcase down a flight of stairs. [The Sun]
• DVR alert: Kathy Griffin will be on Law & Order SVU. [TV Guide]
• Balloon Dad Richard Heene turned himself in yesterday and was released on a $5000 bond. [ET]
• Richard Heene will plead guilty to felony charges, his lawyer claims. Mayumi Heene will plead guilty to false reporting to authorities — a misdemeanor. Is there a law against making everyone worry? [NY Post]
• Amy Winehouse is working with a Miami-based producer on her third record, but her visa issues keep her from traveling. [The Sun]
• If you would like to see a mug shot of Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, click the link. He's a former model who took a photograph he found in Cindy's nanny's room, and the pic shows Cindy's daughter bound and gagged for a "prank." [TMZ]
• Nadya Suleman would like for you to know that she is a competent mother. [Us]
• Some guy is auctioning off Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage certificate from when they tied the knot in the Dominican Republic in 1994. The names Jackson + Presley = ca$h. [Perez]
• 20-year-old Daniel Radcliffe smoked pot and a party and it is "news." [Mirror]
• Geena Davis has gained weight and it is "news." [NY Daily News]
• Whoa — Emmy Rossum met Adam Duritz via Twitter? [People]
• BREAKING: Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent are no longer pissed at each other. [Page Six]
• Rumors abounded but now it's official: Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are expecting their first child. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, David Beckham talks about playing with the LA Galaxy today, which means missing an England vs. Brazil game. [Guardian]
• Lil' Kim is being sued for $20,000 by British club promoters who claim she accepted money but then did not appear at an event, saying she had a nosebleed. No, really. [NY Post]
• Aerosmith's management reportedly asked Steven Tyler to perform in a wheelchair. "I just wouldn't do it," Tyler told Rolling Stone. Not even if you were contractually obligated to do the gig and hurt yourself acting crazy on stage? Hmm. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Tori Amos' fantasy band would have Janis Joplin on vocals, Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, Bootsy Collins on bass and Zeppelin's John Bonham on drums. [Independent]
• In "10 Questions For Tony Hawk," the skateboarder says: "I don't want to name names. I'm just saying many Olympic sports require less physical effort and less talent than skateboarding." [Time]
• Chris Mann wrote the Three's Company tell-all book Come and Knock on Our Door, and served as consulting producer on NBC's behind-the-scenes movie about Company. On his blog, he writes that before John Ritter died, he was asked about Suzanne Somers' supposed breast cancer, and Ritter said: "We don't know if Suzanne has cancer or not, because she lies." [Retroality.tv]
• Jon & Kate is being replaced by Cake Boss, a show that seems super scripted but still pretty funny. And unlike those weird "challenge" cake shows, the cakes actually look edible and delicious. [NY Post]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor has tax problems. Will she have to move to the country and live on a farm with a pig named Arnold? Oh wait. That was Eva. Anyway, Bernard Madoff is to blame for this. [TMZ]
• Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009 airs December 19, and will feature the best holiday sketches from the show's 35-year history. [NY Post]
• TMZ lifted images from Radar Online. [Page Six]
• The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit, with Josh Brolin instead of John Wayne. [NY Daily News]
• "Look, I really am the last British actor who's not in any of the Harry Potter films. I was looking for something I could do that would make me cool in the eyes of my daughter." — Michael Sheen, of Frost/Nixon and, more importantly, New Moon. He also says: "I had to say to my daughter, 'I heard someone talking about this character Aro in these books. Do you know anything about that?' And she said, 'Yes, he's the leader of the Volturi and he reads people's minds. Are you playing him?' Of course I said, 'no, no, no'. When it was all worked out, she cried. Then she hit me." [Independent]
• It feels weird to do interviews because I don't understand why anyone wants to talk to me. There were all these other guys in high school that were bigger, funnier, and more handsome than I was, so why do you care about what I have to say? You should ask them." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I'm not aware of any fans. I do nothing to live in secrecy, but I really don't get recognized anywhere. Though I was walking my dog recently when someone yelled, 'Hey, Jason!' They said it so sweetly that I turned around and said, 'Hey!' Then they said, 'Fuck you, you asshole!' and drove away." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I had friends growing up, but I struggled to feel like I really fit in. If I was invited to a party, I would just end up sitting on a couch or standing in a corner by myself. But it wasn't like I was getting beat up or anything. I wish I had gotten beaten up, because at least that would've justified why I felt so homesick all the time, even though I was home." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "Susan Boyle is a lovely gracious woman, and I took advantage of that by poking fun at her." — Sharon Osboune, who, a week ago, said SuBo looked like she'd been hit by a "fucking ugly stick." [NY Post]
• We were disappointed, but we understand. He's only 1. But we were in Alaska and have plenty of footage of Trig." — Barbara Walters wanted to have Sarah Palin's grandson Trig in the studio, but he has a cold and couldn't make it. [Page Six]
• "It's disgusting that people would say those things. My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady. There's gonna be a time when I'm way curvier, and that'll be sexy, too." — Ashlee Simpson is tired of people calling Jessica Simpson fat. Ashlee also says her husband loves her body:"Pete isn't worried about stretch marks," she says. "He always makes me feel good." [Gatecrasher]
• "I have half-a-dozen close friends and Mariah is among the dearest. I flatter myself that the relationship is reciprocal: Mariah and I share a strong, sisterly friendship. She signs off all her letters to me with the affectionate endearment: 'Your sis, M.' Though she is stupendously rich and I am relatively poor, it is a friendship of equals. She visits me in my small home; I am a frequent guest at her various mansions and holiday villas all over the world." — from a piece written by a former MTV host who stayed friends with Mariah Carey after meeting her through work. [Daily Mail]
• "There are so many young girls wearing too much makeup, too much hairspray — I find that very dated." — Victoria Beckham. [Gatecrasher via Harper's Bazaar UK]

Jennifer Lopez, in L.A., shows off the night's dress-code: tight, shiny and black.


Kesha, in London, is either sullen or really taking the occasion seriously. I'm going with sullen.


Everyone did some homage to MJ: Judith Hill's, in L.A., was one of the more literal. And it always works!


Mel B, in London, was all class.


Rosie Perez stands up to NYC's rainy chill with a power jacket.


Sherri Shepherd took a...cozier approach.


Monique Coleman rocked a popular L.A. choice: skintight leather.


Julianne Hough shows off another: the corset.


Nikki Blonsky, in NYC, matches her bag to her belt. Somewhere, both Michael and my grandma are smiling.


Paris Hilton, in L.A. of course, seems to have confused "Michael Jackson circa '92" with "Liz Hurley circa '92."


London.


Kind of love that, now that everyone else is in leather, Katy Perry does demure, deco-inflected lace!


Paula Abdul, in L.A., is a lone spot of color.


Vivica A. Fox, in L.A., treats the event with respect. The sexy kind.


Not sure what aspect of MJ's oeuvre Rosanna Arquette, in L.A., is referencing...


Or, for that matter, NYC's Carol Alt.


The brothers Jackson, in L.A.

[Images via Getty]

• Julia Roberts is in India shooting Eat, Pray, Love, and security is tight on the film set:

50 local police officers and security officers are guarding Julia; yet kids and villagers are climbing trees and rooftops to get a glimpse of the Hollywood star. [AP]

• Michael Jackson is making money at the box office: This Is It accounted for 71% of all sales yesterday on the ticket site fandango.com. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna might marry boyfriend Jesus Luz, according to reports. She apparently likes how he checks in all the time and understands that she is self-involved — plus, says a source, "the sex is scorching hot." Husband material! [Daily Mail]
• This column claims that Penelope Cruz must be pregnant: She went to an OB/GYN with boyfriend Javier Bardem. Maybe he just tagged along for her Pap smear? [NY Daily News]
• Teri Hatcher, who was a guest on Friday's (canceled) episode of The Tonight Show, says that Conan O'Brien has a concussion: "We did this bit and at the very end, when we ran in to cross the finish line, he slipped as he was crossing the finish line and hit his head… And the thing was, I was in front of him so I didn't see it initially. He didn't get off floor right a way, but then he [seemed] like he recovered and [pulled] it together, and they did an instant replay, and you could really see his head hit the floor. He did go to the hospital and he does have a concussion." [ET]
• Sources say Kanye West has an alcohol problem. "He's been boozing heavily ever since his mother died," an insider says. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kanye West was seen acting "reserved, quiet and humble for once." [Gatecrasher]
• "Roman Polanski's Arrest Could Lead to Extradition."[NY Times]
• "Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland could lead to diplomatic row." [Times Of London]
• "Poland, France seek Polanski's release." [USA Today]
• "France, Poland want Polanski released on bail." [AP]
• "'Outraged' Roman Polanski's wife vows to fight extradition to U.S. after he is arrested over 1977 underage sex charge." [Daily Mail]
• "Roman Polanski is weighing his legal options after his arrest Saturday at the Zurich Airport. If he agrees to allow extradition, he could be sent to the U.S. within a few days. If he fights the order, it could take several months for the case to get through Swiss courts." [Variety]
• Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom on Sunday at a private residence in Beverly Hills. She wore Vera Wang; the flowers were all white; preparation for the nuptials were covered by cameras from E!. [People]
• The wedding will air on E!'s Keeping Up With The Kardashians, in case you weren't clear on that. [NY Daily News]
• Here's the thing: E! agreed to pick up the $1 million tab for Khloe Kardashian's wedding only if it was staged by Sunday — that way it could open the new seaason of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But since Lamar Odom's lawyers didn't have time to do a pre-nup, yesterday's "wedding" may not have been legally binding. [NY Post]
• Padma Lakshmi, 39, is reportedly pregnant with her first child by boyfriend Manu Nathan, 27. [JustJared]
• Clive Owen is a Liverpool football (soccer) fan, and watched a game in a NYC sports bar with other fans, only one of whom asked, "What was it like snogging Julia Roberts?" [The New Yorker]
• Amy Winehouse's father, Mitch, will join the cast of I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here. [Ireland Online]
• Kate Moss: Making music her focus? She has registered as a songwriter and publisher with the Performing Rights Society, where artists can protect any future royalties from their records. [Daily Express]
• Not that Kate Moss isn't modeling — she's totally the G in Paris Vogue. [TheLifeFiles]
• Simon Cowell is about to become the highest-paid star on TV — with his deal to bring X Factor to the U.S. (he'll producer, not appear on the show) — Cowell will make $103 million by next fall. That's more than Oprah, if you don't include her "empire" earnings. [NY Post]
• The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. has checked into rehab; ex-girlfriend Agyness Deyn was seen out with her old flame, Miles Kane, during fashion week. [Daily Mail]
• "[John Travolta's] public acknowledgement that his son, who died in January, was autistic has former Scientologists convinced that he will leave the church-which they say has little tolerance for chronic conditions." [The Daily Beast]
• Rihanna was in Venice for her manager's wedding, and naturally, she posed with and signed an autograph for an Italian monk. He looks incredibly happy. [Daily Mail]
• "Jude Law is refusing to see his newborn daughter until a DNA test proves he is the father, according to new reports." [Daily Express]
• Has Jude Law banned interviewers from asking him about his new daughter? A source says yes, and that's why he didn't talk about it on Regis & Kelly. Jude's rep says "No subjects are banned." [Page Six]
• Jamie Kennedy has reportedly been cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt with his ex-girlfriend, Shannon Funk. Funk was Britney Spears' assistant for a while. [Prz]
• Megan Fox told Nylon magazine that she thinks she's "really overexposed," which may be one of her most astute quotes ever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Andrew Shue and the Today show's Amy Robach: Engaged. [People]
• Paris Hilton drove her new pink Bentley to the launch of a jewelry line, where the organizers offered her a free diamond pendant and she "begged and begged to take the matching earrings, too." Vivica A. Fox was at the same event and refused a free diamond bracelet, saying: "I'll buy it myself from my next paycheck." [Page Six]
• Kristen Bell hearts butterscotch pudding. [People]
• 75-year-old Larry King has been interviewing celebrities since 1985; his contract with CNN is set to expire in 18 months. Should he retire, who would take his place? Ryan Seacrest, Katie Couric and Joy Behar are reported contenders. [Page Six]
• Housewife Bethenny Frankel has been "gradually cutting ties" with the other housewives "since news that she'd get her own show on Bravo broke during the summer months." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Marilyn Manson announced that he has the swine flu, his reps are denying that he is sick, which is just weird. [Gatecrasher]
• Justin Guarini was married over the weekend and the ceremony featured music by Radiohead, Paramore and Peter Gabriel — played by a string quartet. [People]
• Actress/model Angie Everhart denies that British royal Prince Andrew is the father of the baby boy she gave birth to in July. She says: "Just because I've been linked romantically with him in the past it doesn't mean I am still going to bed with him. Whether I am or not is nobody's business but ours… Kayden's daddy is someone who is not in the public eye." [Daily Express]
• This compilation of quotes from Robbie Williams is hilarious. [Guardian]
• "I never tried hard at anything. I was born smart on a very working-class estate. A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting. It's ignorant and it's a tragic waste, and I realised that the work itself is the reward. The struggle itself is the reward." — Ricky Gervais. [Guardian]
• "I knew my character was going to be pregnant the entire first season, so I figured it was a good time to have another kid." — Jenna Elfman, on being pregnant at the same time as her character in her new show Accidentally On Purpose. [USA Today]
• "The one through-line is the big accent and the in-your-face attitude. I'm definitely stereotyped and I'm very OK with that. I get super bored playing bland, normal girls." — Drea de Matteo, on playing a "tough broad" on Desperate Housewives, who sounds a lot like her Sopranos character. [Time]
• "I just passed my driving test. Took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life, I'm legal to drive, so watch out!" — Ozzy Osbourne. [MSNBC]
• "When I asked him what he envisioned, he mentioned Serge and Brigitte, Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra. So for me, I kind of saw it more as 'he said, she said' duets, as opposed to something that was just two people singing together. It's the kind of interplay between a male perspective and a female perspective, so they were a great example of that." — Scarlett Johansson on her duets with Pete Yorn. [NPR]
• "I wish a happy birthday to Sophia Loren, my splendid twin, and I ask her to stop wearing fur — that is the best gift she could offer me." — Brigitte Bardot, who, like Loren, turned 75 this week. [AFP]
• "She doesn't have a penis. She came to my house in her underwear and I saw no hint of a penis. She thought it was appropriate attire. She can get away with it. She knows what she's doing. She ain't no fool. She's brilliant. I think she's a good role model for girls. She plays with sex and makes it unsexy on purpose - so outrageous it's approachable."— Mika, on Lady Gaga. [ONTD via MTV.au]

• At a concert on Sunday Marilyn Manson blew phlegm from his nose all over the stage (there's video). The next day he wrote on Facebook: "So I have officially been diagnosed, by a real doctor, with THE SWINE FLU..."

• He continued, "I know everyone will suggest that fucking a pig is how this disease was obtained. However, the doctor said, my past choices in women have in 'no way' contributed to me acquiring this mysterious sickness. ... Unfortunately, I am going to survive." [TMZ, UPI]
• The Sun has admitted Lily Allen didn't insult the Beckhams, and paid her $16,000. The paper printed an apology, saying, "We now accept that Lily didn't say these things to the magazine and we apologize to Lily for the upset and embarrassment caused by repeating them." The incorrect quote was taken from a French magazine called SoFoot. [E!]
• Though Lily Allen told fans she has no plans to make another record, her spokesman is reassuring fans that she's not retiring from music. He said: "Lily is not retiring from music. She is still promoting her current album which is why she said she is not thinking about her next record right now." [The Mirror]
• People has seen a videotape of John Travolta's lawyer and the two Bahamian defendants accused of trying to extort money from him. The men asked for money for a document called a Do No Transport form Travolta signed when considering whether to have his son taken to the airport or the nearest hospital. Travolta's lawyer asks, "Where the hell did you get a number of 25 million bucks?" [People]
• After Randy and Evi Quaid were arrested yesterday for skipping out on a hotel bill they sent in a $5,546 check — about $5,000 less than they owe. [TMZ]
• Deputy James Davis, the police officer who arrested Evi Quaid, says she showed up to his office today and screamed at him, accusing him of being "a crooked, corrupt cop" who concocted "a plot against her and her husband." He described it as a "psychotic episode." [TMZ]
• The Quaids have been formally charged with felony burglary, conspiracy and defrauding an innkeeper. The Santa Barbara D.A. said, "They're going to need to come to Santa Barbara and deal with these charges. Any restitution that's been paid will help facilitate a resolution of the criminal case, but that doesn't mean it will automatically go away." [TMZ]
• Last night Angelina Jolieand Brad Pitt went to the dedication of the Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center in his hometown of Springfield, Mo., which was named after his mom and financed by a $1 million donation from Pitt. [Star]
• In a statement read on today's Oprah, Bijou Phillips said she was 13 when she learned that her half-sister Mackenzie Phillips had sex with her father. She is now 29 and says the information was confusing and scary and it was "heartbreaking" that her family still left her alone with her father. [AP]
• For some unknown reason, Vivica A. Fox was asked about Mackenzie Phillips' revelation that she had sex with her father. She said: "The fact that her father is not here to defend himself, I don't like it. I don't think that's fair." Yes, clearly it's Mackenzie who needs to be worried about being fair! [Radar Online]
• Vincent D'Onofrio, Kathryn Erbe and Eric Bogosian will be phased out of Law and Order: Criminal Intent this season and Jeff Goldblum will take over as the lead detective. [Reuters]
• Martha Stewart apologized for making insensitive comments about Jessica Simpson losing her dog on her TV show today. "I said that she should have been watching her dog more closely, but I feel very, very sorry for anybody that loses a pet," said Martha. "Jessica, I hope you find your pet, but if you don't, I'm really sorry that you lost one." [People]
• Blind item: Which "on-screen duo" doesn't get along in real life?" Michael Ausiello writes: he "claims his leading lady is unprofessional and extremely difficult to work with. Even worse, he has accused her of behaving 'inappropriately' at times. He's made it known to TPTB that he doesn't want to be in scenes with her, least of all love scenes. But there's no getting around those anytime soon. 'They told him the love scenes are unavoidable,' says my spy. 'Their characters are supposed to be having a torrid affair.'" [Entertainment Weekly]
• This week's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 was the lowest rated ever, drawing in only 1.7 million viewers. Their high was the divorce episode, which had 10.6 million viewers. [Radar Online]
• Elizabeth Hurley's husband, Arun Nayar, was badly burned on his face and right hand while lighting a bonfire at his home. He said, "I had an accident, but I am recovering well now." [The Telegraph]
• Justin Guarini is getting married this weekend to Reina Capodici, with whom he has a four-year-old daughter. His friend and publicist said, "This is the happiest I've ever seen him. He's smiling from ear to ear. I don't know what's bigger – his teeth or his hair." [People]
• Jaime Pressly is marrying Simran Singh on Saturday. They announced their engagement in July. [Radar Online]
• Isabella Rossellini, who starred in the experimental online Green Porno films says, "The web is a double-edged sword," she said, speaking in Italian. "It has a huge potential for distributing content, creating contacts. There are a lot of advantages. The problem is that money is spent on technologies, not on content." [Reuters]
• Gisele Bunchen says she and Tom Brady decided not to find out the sex of their baby. "We will only know when it is born, in December," she said. "I want the emotion of finding out then if it is a boy or a girl." [People]
• Jamie Lee Curtis criticized paparazzi for creating a "hostile environment for celebrities" and rushed past photographers at Variety's Power of Women Luncheon. She explained: "My knees happen to have some bruises on them because I just did a stunt where I was under a sink on my hands and knees with exploding water in my face. I had very bruised knees and I worried they would focus on that and make some bad story about why my knees are bruised!" [The Mirror]
• Hugh Hefner says he wants Megan Fox to pose for Playboy explaining, "Megan is a fox." However his new girlfriends want Kelly Osbourne to pose. "She's losing weight and she's blond now," Crystal Harris says. "She looks good. I want to see what she looks like naked." [E!]

• Oprah's been gushing about meeting Shawn Carter:

"Jay-Z is my new best friend!" Oprah told Gayle King. "He was so charming and delightful - and he smelled so good." [People]

• If I'm reading this story correctly, Lily Allen's "brickie boyfriend" ran away down the street to avoid being snapped by the paparazzi and she was left holding some Indian food and a pair of pants. [The Sun]
• The latest on Jon and Kate Gosselin is that he's still trying to appear on that show Divorced Dad's Club; which does not make TLC happy. And they're not happy about his conduct lately; apparently his contract has a "morals clause" that does not include being seen going in and out of bars and drinking. Kate's been "pulling up the slack" Jon's created. Plus! All the money made last season from Jon & Kate Plus 8 went into a joint account. Kate put some into a college fund for the kids; Jon spent his share. "Kate's people say Jon is making money
  on the side by selling pictures and stories of him and the kids to the tabloids." [TMZ]
• "When pictures emerged of Kate Moss looking haggard as she sunbathed in St Tropez, nobody was more shocked than the supermodel herself… now she has planned a '10 years younger' health plan to regain her youthful complexion." [Daily Mail]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch was sent to jail after doing an interview for the Today show, even though the interview was cleared by the Bureau of Prisons. (Hatch had been on house arrest.) [AP]
• Naomi Campbell, Queen Rania, and Jacques Chirac are in Saint-Tropez, and you are not. [Page Six]
• Pregnant Penelope Cruz: Avoiding the spotlight. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey's album has been pushed back to September 29, which means that she'll miss the Grammy cutoff date by just one day and won't be in the running. She also won't hit shelves the same day as Whitney Houston's new album, which comes out September 1.
• You know how Dr. Conrad Murray has released a video statement? Columnist Courtney Hazlett points out that Michael Jackson really pioneered the scripted, recorded statement. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Michael Jackson 'self-harmed' to get painkillers"… "He'd bang his head against the wall, hit his fists and arms against furniture, anything to cause a cut or bruise." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's funeral could cost $50,000 when you add in police and pther city services. [TMZ]
• Cue screams: Joe Jonas will be one of the celebrity judges on American Idol. Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige and Shania Twain will also appear in the spot vacated by Paula Abdul. [People]
• Yesterday, a judge ruled that Paris Hilton won't have to pay investors from failed flick Pledge This, who were claiming she didn't promote the movie enough. [Page Six]
• "Russell Brand shows off sex moves." [UKPA, Twitter]
• Ask Katy Perry a question her manager doesn't like, and he will pull the plug on your interview. Literally. Like, the lights will go out. Despite this, Katy was "delightful." [News.com.au]
• Inglourious Basterds prequel? "If the movie proves to be very popular, then we'll do it," says Quentin Tarantino. [Gatecrasher]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush went to dinner together on Monday — strolling into a Ruth's Chris Steak House in New Orleans. Back together? Just friends? [People]
• "Kourtney Kardashian Agonized Over Whether to Keep Her Baby." [People
• Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri took pole-dancing lessons to appear as a stripper in the third season of Californication. "I have such a respect now for women who do this. It's very athletic, I mean, they're athletes!" she says. And her mom came to a few classes: "We didn't, like, do it together, although I'm sure that's a nice visual for people." Of appearing naked on TV, Amurri says: "You basically see boobs and butt. It's the same as you would see on a European beach. It's nothing scandalous… Men are naked as much as the women are on that show, which I really like. If you're going to be naked, at least it's equal-opportunity nudity." [Observer]
• Bruce Willis and wife Emma Heming took a tour of L.A.'s "megapricey" Carlyle Residences, where apartments start at $2.9 million and penthouses go for as much as $15 million. [E!]
• A Leona Lewis track leaked on to the Internet, and Simon Cowell, quite naturally, called the cops: Looks like her record label was being targeted by hackers. [The Sun]
• Jon Hamm has joined the cast of Sucker Punch, an action fantasy flick with Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish and Carla Gugino, among others. It's set in the 1950s and directed by 300's Zack Snyder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• American Idol's David Cook, 26, has an "older woman" in his life: She's 35. [Page Six]
• Liam and Noel Gallagher no longer speak to each other. "He doesn't like me and I don't like him, that's it," Liam says. Nevertheless! Oasis will headline the V festival this weekend. [Independent]
• "Mindy McCready Wouldn't Leave My Daughter's House Says Kari Ann's Mom." [Radar Online]
• Rhea Perlman and her daughter, Lucy DeVito, will appear in Love, Loss And What I Wore, an Off-Broadway production produced by Nora and Delia Ephron. [Variety]
• The surviving members the iconic British comedy troupe Monty Python will be presented with a special BAFTA honor this fall. [UPI]
• "I'm a fan of the traditional Speedo. I think it's time to bring back the ass cleavage." — Vivica. A. Fox. [WWD]
• "This is the first time someone gave me a part where I'm strong, where I'm the engine, the motor of the scene. Many times actresses are an accessory to a story line. To be handed intelligent dialogue was nice. It was a very new experience for me." — Diane Kruger, on Inglourious Basterds. [Reuters]
• "I love the way my mother wore clothes. She used to cut her own hair and wore very little make up and she just did things differently. She used to wear odd, different-colour argyle socks but then she also wore beautiful British tailored suits and little tea dresses with platform shoes. That's sort of how people dress now so she was very modern and ahead of her time in many ways. She really didn't give a damn about what people thought and back then it was all about conforming. It really wasn't the done thing to reflect your own personality through your clothes. She was also an amazing photographer. Much of her work launched Rolling Stone magazine and at the same time she was very modest. If she had met the Queen she would probably have been more interested in talking to the butler. That's just the way she was." — Stella McCartney on late mother Linda, to Harper's Bazaar. [Daily Express]
• "It's awesome and has great margaritas and tacos... How fun is that? I just go and sit on a bar stool and it's fun, like, 'Oh, I'm hangin' here at my place.'" — Renee Zellweger, on the East Hampton taco bar, Blue Parrot, she co-owns. [Daily Express]
• "I'd be out there, and it would be scorching hot, so I would take off all of my clothes and garden. And then I would jump in the pool and swim — and I always get in the pool naked. I used to spend a lot of time with Woody Harrelson, and he's not afraid to get naked." — Alicia Silverstone on gardening naked. [Page Six]
• "[Our relationship] was amazing… [But] Jon said he couldn't be seen having a girlfriend, so he told me to drive to a neighbor's house after midnight, when the kids were asleep. He said he'd pick me up in his four-wheeler, take me to his house and drop me off again at 6 a.m." — Kate Major on seeing Jon Gosselin, with whom she claims she had three sexual encounters. More in Midweek Madness. [Gatecrasher via Life & Style]
• "HIV/Aids is a huge pandemic that to be fair, to be honest, governments have not responded to effectively enough. Churches can do a tremendous amount, and I know they do, but then again they can do tremendous harm, because when the Pope goes to a country in Africa and tells them that they shouldn't be using condoms when we know that HIV is a sexually transmitted disease, I don't think that makes any sense at all. I'm comfortably wealthy, white, educated — I'm one of the lucky ones. I have had good healthcare and my children have good healthcare. I want that for everybody, I want people to have fundamental access to the most basic things. Everybody can do something, I really believe that, that each of us have a sphere of influence, whether it be your friends, your family or workplace, or colleagues." — Annie Lennox, at the Festival of Politics at the Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh. [BBC News]

• Lindsay and Sam fought in the D.J. booth at a party on Friday, but made up later in the ladies' room. Supposedly Sam won't leave Linds because "she doesn't have a career without her."

Also, Lindsay made a big show of drinking only Red Bull, but after she left a stash of liquor was found under her table. At another party later that evening sources say Lindsay hid a bottle of Patron under the table. The next morning, Lindsay threw a fit when Delta couldn't find her a first-class seat on an already overbooked flight. Passengers laughed at her when she stomped her feet and said to a friend, "you'd better come and visit me back there in case I die." [Fox News]

• Britney and K-Fed are fighting over an arrangement that would let her take the kids with her on tour, and sources say she'll cancel the tour if they can't work it out. One plan involves Britney paying Kevin more than $4,000 each week she's on tour for reasons unknown. [TMZ]
• Even Miss Cleo couldn't have predicted this: Vivica A. Fox is the new spokesperson for the Psychic Friends Network. [The Life Files]
• Heidi Klum successfully sued an unemployed German butcher because he used a photo of her he found on the Internet in an ad for a local dance. A German socialite and actress, Jenny Elvers Elbertzhagen, stepped in and paid the $2,800 fine for the butcher, who said, "It is nice to think that not all people in the world are like Heidi Klum." [The Daily Mail]
• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have apologized for posting a video online complaining about their neighbor's early morning construction work. They blame the incident on their addiction to Twitter. [The Sun]
• But Demi and Ashton still aren't as addicted as Erykah Badu and her partner Jay Electronica, who twittered the birth of their daughter yesterday. [NY Magazine]
• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are back on, and he's posted pictures on his blog to prove it. [Perez Hilton]
• Though Kate Moss performed with Pete Doherty's band Babyshambles while they were together, she won't be playing with current boyfriend Jaime Hince's band The Kills. Bandmate Alison Mosshart says that Kate performing with them would be 'totally inappropriate'. [The Daily Mail]
• A-Rod's divorce from his wife Cynthia was finalized on January 12, so he's now free to date whomever he pleases. Not that being married ever stopped him. [TMZ]
• What do Bon Jovi, Shaquille O'Neal, Carl Sagan, and F. Scott Fitzgerald have in common? They were inducted into the New Jersey Hall of Fame today. [AP]
• Emma Roberts is in two indie movies premiering at Sundance, and she hopes Hotel For Dogs will mark the end of her kiddie movie days. But in case that doesn't work out, she's applied to college and wants to major in "creative writing or novel writing." [Movie Hole]
• Does Zooey Deschanel bring bad luck to magazines? She was on the cover of the last issue of Jane and the next to last issue of Domino. [NY Magaine]
• Scott Ruffalo, Mark Ruffalo's younger brother, had trace amounts of cocaine, morphine, and alcohol in his system when he died, but he was not under the influence of drugs when he was shot. Coroners still say his death was a homicide. [People]
• Nikki Blonsky says the airport brawl her family was involved in six months ago with America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden just brought her family closer together. "I don’t even need to defend myself. It’s pretty obvious that it was just a big scam," she says. [People]
• Lil' Kim has been complaining about how she's portrayed in the Biggie biopic Notorious and now Biggie's mom, Voletta Wallace, says the casting was "too dark" for her because Kim is "a white woman trapped in a black woman's body." She added that Kim should "go find herself, go drink a cup of green tea and get a life!" [Perez Hiton]
• "I wasted so many years thinking I wasn't pretty enough and why didn't I have Jessica Lange's body or someone else's legs? What a waste of time. Now I'm enjoying the tatters of what's left and I'm very happy. Part of it is having beautiful strong daughters and hearing them whine about what's wrong with them. I'm like, 'Shut up! You're lovely!'" — Meryl Streep. [The Telegraph]

• OMG twins! Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline were born to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt one minute apart on Saturday evening. Apparently Brad was in the delivery room as doctors performed a C-section on Angie: Knox weighed in at slightly over 5 pounds, and Vivienne weighed 5 pounds. Now comes the speculation over the how much photographs of the bébés are worth: The couple has maybe sold the rights to a U.S. publication — maybe People — and the proceeds will go to charity. The number being thrown around is $11 million. [AP]
• Darryn Lyons, owner of Big Pictures, a celebrity photo agency, claims that pix of the twins are worth between $15 and $20 million. The only other photos that "would possibly come that close is Britney Spears giving birth to an alien," he says. [AP]
• Quentin Tarantino is flying to France to meet with Brad Pitt — but about a movie, not about the twins. [Page Six]
• Josh Brolin, Jeffrey Wright and other members of the crew from Oliver Stone's movie W were arrested in a bar fight early Saturday morning in Shreveport, LA. Maybe someone made a Karl Rove joke? [AP]

• Uh-oh. Did Mamma Mia actress Amanda Seyfried dis the gays by not walking the red carpet at Outfest? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus filmed scenes for her upcoming Hannah Montana movie in Malibu's Paradise Cove and everybody went cuckoo. Screaming fans, paparazzi and the sherriff's department all converged in a perfect storm of chaos. A police helicopter buzzed overhead and, says one beachgoer, "I thought it was going to land right on the paparazzi." [Yahoo News]
• Why? Why are there pictures of Miley in the shower???? [Egotastic]
• Amy Winehouse's dad collapsed due to "stress." What do you think he's upset about? [The Sun]
• Oh, look, Amy snorting something in a DJ booth. [TMZ]
• And here Amy's dad says he fears Amy will die. Sigh. [Daily Mail]
• Amy will stop performing in September to take a break from singing and focus on her writing. Also, Amy's been "visiting" her dead grandmother in her dreams, and Nan's not happy that Amy's not living up to her potential. [Telegraph]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Pictured relaxing on a luxury yacht off of Italy's Amalfi coast. Not pictured: Balthazar's wife and four kids. [Mirror]
• Nicole Kidman had lunch at a restaurant in Nashville on Friday in a post-baby outing and "looked amazing." Yawn. [People]
• Kate Hudson has beaten out Sienna Miller and Anne Hathaway for a role in Nine, the movie based on the Broadway musical, starring Daniel Day-Lewis. (Can Kate keep her hands off of her co-star?) [Page Six]
• Mario Lopez doesn't tip coat check ladies when he checks his murse. [Page Six]
• Ian McKellen's performance in King Lear is coming to PBS. But will he be nude on TV as he is in one scene on stage? [AP]
• Jennifer Lopez's nanny has walked off the job. Or did she run? Apparently it's a 16-hour a day, seven days a week gig. And this is the second nanny to leave, so Jen and Marc are looking for number 3. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has left his wife for an 18-year-old Russian woman. "He met her in a dodgy escort bar at four in the morning when he was boozed out of his mind," his publicist (??) says. Jeez. No sympathy for the devil here. [UPI]
• Jarrod Beinerman, a 34-year-old reputed drug dealer from Brooklyn, has admitted that he stole a $13,000 Marc Jacobs handbag from the hotel room of Kirsten Duns last August. He could get 4 years in prison. It's not clear if Kiki got her purse back. [UPI]
• Heidi Fleiss is facing felony drug use and possession charges from that February traffic stop. She's charged with unlawful use of methamphetamine and possession of the painkiller hydrocodone without a prescription. And something about her mug shot is just plain creepy. [AP]
• Anthony Kiedis and girlfriend Heather Christie: Broken up! They were together for more than 3 years and have a son, Everly Bear. "Anthony is a great dad and I will love him forever for giving me the gift of life," Heather says. "I really hope he finds what he's looking for." Oh, dear. [UPI]
• Congrats to Tabboo of the Black Eyed Peas, who got married in Pasadena over the weekend. will.i.am, Apl de ap and Fergie attended; if you have an unusual or oddly spelled name, you might have been there, too. [UPI]
• This video of Vivica A. Fox calling Jessica Simpson the "baddest blonde bitch on the planet" while holding a flaxen-haired child is very perplexing. [TMZ]
• Jessica, Vivica and Tony Romo hung out at the Key Club together the other night. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin and Robert Downey Jr had dinner together in the Hamptons… Madonna was nowhere to be found. [Full Disclosure]
• Maybe Madonna was at the Kabbalah center? She has given the group over $5 million — and no longer supports some other charities she once funded. [NY Post]
• The E! True Hollywood Story of Heath Ledger aired over the weekend without the dirty secrets usually revealed on that show. The stuff about Heath's father Kim fighting with his brothers was avoided. [News.com.au]
• Is Katherine Heigl going to get kicked off of Grey's Anatomy? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Milo Ventimiglia planning to propose to Hayden Panettiere? [The Sun]
• Hayden cut her hair, btw. [E!]
• Christopher Gorham, aka Henry on Ugly Betty, has left the show. He'll star on CBS drama Harper's Island. His character's name? Henry. [Yahoo News]
• The Mariah Carey remix contest: A marketing gimmick that could sound hot. [Reuters]
• Jimi Hendrix's brother Leon is trying to use the rock star's image to market a brand of vodka. Sister Janie thinks that's offensive; cue a family scuffle. [UPI]
• Shocker: Meet Dave bombed at the box office. [E!]
• Dear Brooke Hogan: Why must you dress like you're a Frederick's Of Hollywood spokesmodel? [The.Life Files]
• Marianne Faithfull is taking six months off for "mental and physical exhaustion." Be well! [Telegraph]
• "If I got a nomination, I'd make everyone in my life start calling me "Emmy." All of us in this room work extremely hard. The audience sees the end result: the show. But no one sees the process involved in getting those accolades, that recognition. It's beyond stardom. And it doesn't come often in an actress's lifetime." — Tichina Arnold of Everybody Hates Chris, in a discussion with 7 of TV's top actresses that's worth reading. Kyra Sedgwick, Minnie Driver, Jenna Fischer Calista Flockhart, Felicity Huffman and Brooke Shields also weigh in. [Yahoo News]
• "I'm not a bad person. When people say all these negative things about me, I ignore them. Let them be negative - but do that away from me. It hurts but I know there is much more good in the world. I'm blessed to be able to do charitable work and good things but no one focuses on that because I don't throw it in people's faces. That's why they focus on the negatives." — Naomi Campbell. [Mirror]

• Vivica A. Fox is going to be the host of a new VH1 series called Glam God, in which the actress, who is known for her amazing style (??), will be searching for the next celebrity stylist. I can’t wait to see another reality show winner do absolutely nothing while everyone else on the show tries to one up Jerry Springer factor. I hope there’s a really good gay man or at least someone with a weave to yank on. [ConcreteLoop]
• Getting Gay With Bags is Here! Marc Jacobs completes his special handbag for twink-blogger Bryanboy (the bag is called “the BB”) and Bryanboy gets really excited and…whips himself? [Gawker]
• Designer Claudia Escobar has made a luxury clothing line out of salmon skin. "Many people who lived near rivers and oceans have used fish throughout history. It's not my original idea," she says. [Reuters]
• Mischa Barton’s created a line of handbags, coming to London’s John Lewis, Debenhams and Fenwicks stores on July 2nd. Why not make handbags for the United States, Mischa? Is the dollar too weak, or is it that we just don't give a shit? [FabSugar]

• Marc Jacobs keeps it simple at London design school Central Saint Martins: "I can't bear it when designers go on about inspiration … If a girl wants to wear it and feels good then who cares?" Say what you will about his shortcomings, but over-thinking fashion is not one of them. [NYMag]
• Agyness Deyn (aka The New Kate Moss) supposedly bought a loft in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (aka The New Lower East Side). I guess I'm supposed to write something about how "lame" that is for the neighborhood, but it actually seems pretty obvious to me. [Perez Hilton]
• Sarah Larson, George Clooney’s waitress girlfriend, graces Bazaar's 50 Most Beautiful People feature. Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s not a waitress anymore. Take a look at the Pretty Woman here. [Models.com]
• Oh Crocs! What can’t you do? Inventor Spot reports that now there’s a special little Croc that can be used to carry a cell phone. This of course, is happening in Japan, where soon they’ll be inventing a pair of Crocs for your Crocs, as well as a Crocs reality show where the winner gets to turn into a Croc and sweep the nation yet again. [InventorSpot]
• Urban Outfitters, best known for its BoHo dresses, ironic tees, and teeny tiny dressing rooms, has always made us feel safe in our left-wing ways. Except, of course, the owner of the chain hates gay people and gives money to George W. Bush. [Racked]
• Busted! Now we know where some of the best American designers (Ralph Lauren, Mark Jacobs, Calvin Klein) go to get their clothing made. [NYTimes]
• New York Rangers hockey player Sean Avery talks about his Vogue internship, Anna Wintour, and photocopying. [MollyGood]
• Louisville, Kentucky porn shops “Victor’s Secret” and “Victor’s Little Secret”) settle the lawsuit brought by Victoria’s Secret for trademark violation. The store is now called “Cathy’s Secret” which, you know, doesn’t really have the same (cock) ring to it. [MSNBC]
• “Having streaked, chipped or just plain grotty nail polish no longer suggests drug addiction, manual labor or pure laziness,” writes Melena Ryzik for The New York Times. I have been waiting YEARS for this to become acceptable! Thank you Olsen Twins and Vogue model Cindy McCain! [NYTimes]

[LAX, April 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Paris, February 26. Image via Splash.]

The Good:
Despite the hand of Tom Cruise yanking her down the red carpet, Katie Holmes looks gorgeous.
The hair needs a little help, but I love Tatyana Ali's slouchy and bright laid-back look.
Gabrielle Union shines in black.
Jada Pinkett Smith's dress makes up for her zombie face.
Paula Patton's a pin-up girl!

The Bad:
There's just too much going on with Rashida Jones's dress: The one shoulder, the ruffles — pick a detail and run with it.
Layla Ali's dress is so bottom two on Project Runway material.
Too much bad color matched with too much sine makes for a miss for Garcelle Beauvais.
Nia Long: No, no, no.
Vivica A. Fox's offense? Having failed to update her look past 1996.

The Ugly:
I'm saddened to see that Kerry Washington strapped a tutu to her bust and then covered her body with sequins.

[All images via Getty.]

I'm gonna put on that designer gown and I'm gonna put on that bra and panties and cover up the cellulite on my bootie and push my way through that door... My hope is that the little girls watching tonight will know that I have now opened a lot of those doors and hopefully it's easier for you, that we worked hard enough. My ultimate dream is that one day...our dreams can be realized faster and without any of the struggle because of the color of our skin.

The Good:

Don't get me wrong, I always loved Steve Brady. But I really, really loved Blair Underwood's Dr. Robert on Sex and the City. Blair Underwood always makes me swoon. See above. Swoon.

Vivica A. Fox reigns in blue, turning a look that could come across as a little pageant into total sophistication. Girl's still got it.

Paging Cleopatra! Alicia Keys is a total girl crush, and in this red gown she is breathtaking, a queen for all seasons.


The Bad:

Oh, Ne-Yo. Try not to wear a shiny jacket ever again. Also, a knit cap at a formal event is a big no-no in our book.

Is it just me, or does Janice Bryant's dress make her look like she has some weird skin disease that's slowly eating her alive?

As I said, I'm really worried about Dr. West.


The Ugly:

Why, Jill, why?!

Stevie Wonder, no excuses just 'cause you can't see. Your wife is a fashion designer. And a good fashion designer at that.

Gladys Knight has always been one of my heroes. And now she has an even bigger audience after this week's episode of 30 Rock. So why the hell is she wearing a big black trash bag to an awards show?! Get on that midnight train to Georgia and buy yourself a suitable gown, stat.

A Night Out: BET Honors Awards [Washingtonian]