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Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
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My_Latest_Incarnation
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
What strikes me about Sodini's house is how barren it is. Marcotte's isn't much better. They look sterile and barren, like there just a place to sleep. They have no warmth or personality. I've seen prison cells that are better decorated.
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Arkaina
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
I've just gone ahead and flagged that video for violating the Hateful and Abusive Content clause of Youtubes' TOS. Saying that murder is part of a game simply because he can't attract a woman? Not cool at all. Get off my fucking internet please.
I encourage all Jezzies to flag the video as well.
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Orora
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
What really disturbs me about this is that only the man's "feelings and emotions" seem to matter. A woman's supposed to keep dating a man she doesn't like or is actually scared of because his feelings might get hurt? No one gets through life without heartache, fuckers. If you put yourself out there, you're going to get hurt. And if you keep getting hurt, maybe the fault is YOURS for being a woman-hating asshole.
And it's only "not about looks" when it's the man's looks we're talking about. I know plenty of single women who don't go around killing people who don't find them attractive. The last guy who rejected me didn't have to worry about me coming to his office with an automatic weapon.
This is absolutely fucking ridiculous.
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Jack_Burton
08/06/09

@Orora: I think it's abhorrent that the women involved in this man's life are not being provided the outlet to speak, and are being drowned-out by the sensationalism of his actions. We could all learn from this, yet it's playing out as just more neo-entertainment disguised as news.
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Mediahohoho
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
You can see what Sodini is doing in the video, too. It's the old, "look at what I own. How can you not want to be with me?" It's way to easy in our society to believe that we are our possessions and accomplishments. Depressions are good for stripping those illusions away.
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EldwinBabania
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
Actually, I think that is exactly the answer that is behind so many societies forcing everyone to get married--the old, unattractive and cruel get one person to act out on so the rest can go about their lives. I think there's a certain percentage of people like this guy in every society, mostly men, so they have by trial and error found a way to minimise the damage to society as a whole. It's all couched in moral or religious terms, of course, but the end effect is the same. I remember my grandparents talking about some poor women who were stuck in horrible marriages--they knew the women's lives were hell but dismissed it as the "cross they had to bear." Small wonder I've never wanted to get married...
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nozer
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
Not to get all new-agey on everyone, but all of this violence is sort of reminding me of the idea of a healing crisis.
In much of the same way that people feel extra sick while their body is healing itself and removing toxins, as our country and the world moves towards a more fully realized version of equality and peace, all of this violence feels like the last throes of a very desperate group of individuals. I think there is a realization amongst fundamentalists of every sort that their way of life is coming to an end. White supremacists, misogynists, religious extremists, and just straight up far right crazies (tea-baggers, birthers) are coming out of the woodwork more and more. I think someday soon many of them will be gone (of course it's impossible to think they will all be gone forever), and this world will, while not being perfect by any means, be a less prejudiced place. 2012 perhaps?
Then of course, we will have to deal with a new problem. Like America's food system or a political process controlled largely by corporations.
Sorry, I'll put my tin hat back on now.
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whynotshesaid
08/06/09

@nozer: I love this theory. I hope you are right.
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SulakshanaBogdan
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
Huh? What I see when I see a couple that has a big age difference is a couple with a big age difference. That's pretty much it. "Way ahead in personal growth" or not being able to "grow together" is a personal bias that has no bearing on the actual dynamics of their relationship at all. I mean, really, why can't two people with age differences "grow together". Why can't they have different levels of personal growth and still love each other? The only two people that know what truly goes on in that relationship are those two people -- and there's no room for any outsider to make preconceived notions based on their age differences.
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whynotshesaid
08/06/09

@SulakshanaBogdan: Thank you. That commenter totally proved my point about the way that outsiders project all sorts of shit onto relationships with age differences. It's disgusting.
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pesematology
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
So what about when a woman has a lonely life or a dry spell? Is it the fault of men? Should we kill men for not sleeping with us? Their logic makes no sense to me, which I suppose is a good sign.
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amowls
08/06/09

@pesematology: In this society, some men are taught that pussy is owed to them no matter if they are shitty people or not.
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Niko Bellic
08/06/09

@pesematology: Should we kill men for not sleeping with us?

Yeah. See, it's like this: we all get guns and start shooting each other. Who ever is the last one alive - wins. It's fair!
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Edited by Niko Bellic at 08/06/09 2:44 PM Niko Bellic was starred Niko Bellic was unstarred

Maggie Glass
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
My therapist told me something yesterday that might have been of real use to these types of men:
THERE ARE NO VICTIMS, ONLY VOLUNTEERS.
These guys are pathetic: at their best, they're whiny and deluded. At their worst, they're mass murderers.
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UziOenomaus
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
NY Times columnist Bob Herbert, my hero, wrote about the Amish schoolhouse massacre in exactly these terms:

http://www.nevadacoalition.org/content/view/19/3/
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Mediahohoho
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
Ugh. This is all very depressing, and all the more so because I have been in this place more than once. The place where my attractions never met up with someone who was attracted to me. Wondering what the indefinable quality was that I lacked; watching the months go by in solitude. And yes, blaming women.

It sucks. It's a rut you dig yourself into deeper. One that makes you feel freakish and set apart and broken.
However. I think the most important part of this equation is how one relates to oneself. If everything that happens in your life is the result of others' behavior and attitudes, and nothing is your responsibility (other than choosing the right hair cut, cologne, attitude, or strategy) and you will never pull yourself out of this slough. And being in that slough is what causes this deep-seated hatred to fester.

I had no idea the TFL (tough fucking luck?) movement existed. I'm glad I didn't stumble on it during my worst times. All I can say is, if you're this unhappy and angry, you owe it to yourself and society to get rid of your fucking gun(s). No one can be killed by your misogyny without them. If you do choose to keep them, use them on yourself before starting your killing spree.
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Edited by Mediahohoho at 08/06/09 1:42 PM Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

mirrorghost
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
weird that this should transpire as i've been reading about serial killers. i mean come on, ted bundy? and i just read about some other guy that said he killed women because he hated them because "they play mind games."
i've always viewed the majority of serial killers as misogynstic, but they never seem to mention that part of it.
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whynotshesaid
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
That book on his table - How to Date a Younger Woman, or whatever - really freaks me out. I am married to a man who is considerably older than me, and I am super conscious of the way that many men perceive our relationship. That such a book only solidifies that self-consciousness. They think of me as some trophy hottie that's only with my husband for his dick or his money, they think of him as some sort of super-stud, and in the process, they completely fail to understand that we are together because we LOVE each other. Not because he pulled some games on me, or because he manipulated me, or because I was vulnerable and damaged and needed a Daddy figure. It's because we love each other, we respect each other and each one of us complements the other in ways few other people do.
Good luck trying to encapsulate THAT in book form, Mr. Steele.
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Niko Bellic
08/06/09

@whynotshesaid: In gereal, when I see a big age difference in a couple I think one of the two things:

1. Either the younger one is way ahead in personal growth, or the older one is way behind
2. Growing together is not the bases of the relationship.
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Edited by Niko Bellic at 08/06/09 1:31 PM Niko Bellic was starred Niko Bellic was unstarred

whynotshesaid
08/06/09

@Niko Bellic: Isn't it lovely to be able to make assumptions like that about people you don't know?
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Niko Bellic
08/07/09

@whynotshesaid: Age is not just a number. When you say "he is much older than me", you are in fact saying "he is much different than me". That is, unless he spent those extra years in hibernation, or you've spent yours on speed. Therefore, what I said is not an assumption, it's a logical conclusion based on facts.

Please note that I am not saying that you two don't love each other, I am not saying that you two don't respect each other, and I am not saying that you two don't complement each other.

I am just saying that you either are not growing together, or that one of you is in the stage of growth that's way off for his/hers age.
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Edited by Niko Bellic at 08/07/09 3:43 PM Niko Bellic was starred Niko Bellic was unstarred

activearchivist is lovely, in a moist, fluffy sort of way
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
And why shouldn't I be afraid of men again?
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TabithaIapetus
08/06/09

@activearchivist will always blame Nixon for...: Just the straight ones honey. The rest of us are here for ya!
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whynotshesaid
08/06/09

In reply to Gym Gunman Was Not Alone: The Making Of A Misogynist Murderer
Thank you for this post.

After I heard about the shootings, the first thing I thought of was the guy who shot all the girls in the Amish school house. Then I thought of the VT shooter. Then I thought of Marc Lepine. Then I thought of every story I've ever read about a man who abuses or kills his wife or girlfriend. Then I thought of every angry, entitled man I've known, and I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

We may have the right to vote, we may have Hillary as our Secretary of State, and we may have female CEOs, and we may have the right to own property and go to school, but perhaps the most important of all is the battle against a culture that despises women. We still have so much to do before we'll even come close to defeating it.

It's so tiring. I need a beer.
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Edited by whynotshesaid at 08/06/09 1:03 PM whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred

PandoraSpocks
08/06/09

@whynotshesaid: Yeah. And all we've got is four angry Wisconsin womyn with a tube of superglue. Bummer.
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