Images of suffragettes are juxtaposed with images of "modern" women, yet the language is still sexist — the cigarette flavor is "mild," for women only; the cigarettes are "tailored for the feminine hand." As blogger Lisa of Sociological Images points out, the last commercial insists that the cigarette is "beautiful."

What's interesting is that this idea of the smoking woman as being both "beautiful" and "liberated" has stuck with us, to some extent. In the late '70s, women were being encouraged to smoke pretty. Some recent fashion layouts have featured smoking models, gorgeous in their utter lack of feeling "motherly." In 2007, a direct mail campaign marketed Camel cigarettes as a "designer" "must-have." And when thinking of contemporary iconic women who smoke, three images sprang to mind:

Carrie Bradshaw

Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction

Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct

All beautiful, all "liberated," not the kind of women who ask permission. Do we as viewers see them as sexy and confident? Or as damaging their lungs and hearts?

"You've Got Your Own Cigarette Now, Baby!" [Sociological Images]
Virginia Slims Commercials (1969) [Internet Archive]
Earlier: How To Market Death To Women: Make It Sexy, Make It Pink
Oldies But Goodies

After midnight
I got caught up in other threads, but the panel continued apace.

JASON: God. What were you thinking about when you woke up this morning. Doesn't it seem a decade ago?
SPENCER: What seems like a decade ago was the most despicably corrupt and abusive and ignorant and destructive and cynical and amoral administration in history, and yet it won't end for almost three months.
JASON: Picking through it's entrails will take even longer.
SPENCER: "...we may not get there in one year or in one term, but America I promise you, we as a people will get there." HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.
[ Latoya has entered the room]
SPENCER: LATOYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAA
LATOYA: Hell yes we can!
What's up y'all. Sorry so late, we got to drinking and crying...you know how it goes
SPENCER: Have you heard these MLK cadences and references in the victory speech?
MEGAN: Um, all the Lincoln stuff?
LATOYA: Yes, but I'm a bit too overwhelmed to process right now. I keep getting text messages from people who never wanted to vote, who never voted before, who felt so disengaged from politics - they feel a part of this too. It's sensory overload.
SPENCER: YES — WE — CAN. The return of it, through redemption.
MEGAN: It really is, I'm not processing anymore
SPENCER: This is even better than the Denver speech. How do we not become inured to this?
JASON: About five years ago, I was sitting at Tonic with my wife and a couple of friends, and I had had a few, not a lot, and I don't know how I got onto the topic, but I remember distinctly going off on a long lamentation about what it was like to be alive in the time of my life. Because it seemed to me that so many frontiers had been reached before I was born. And it seemed like so many frontiers would be denied by an overall mean-mindedness and smallness. And I wondered that night if I would ever live to see anything in this world that truly made me feel like there was a reason for me to be alive. And I lamented the lack of faith I had in those possibilities. All I can say tonight is that I never should have doubted, and I should have kept the faith, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world for having been proven wrong.
LATOYA: It is redemption, Spencer. This blowout was the end of an era. I really feel like I am waking up to a new America tomorrow. (Now, old America could be back next week, but still.) We're all lucky, Jason.
JASON: And with that, my editor tells me that he just got invited to the Mitt Romney in 2012 Facebook group. Seems our work is never done.

11:46 ET
As they call states, I will update here, but check Barack Obama's speech in a live thread, starting when he does: around midnight.
SPENCER: The largest presidential victory since Reagan 84. For the most liberal candidate since Lyndon Johnson.
MEGAN: LBJ may have been arguably less liberal.
SPENCER: INSHALLAH! Gergen and CNN are like the victory speech will tell us how Obama will govern. And yet I recall Bush's eloquent, bipartisan and conciliatory speech from Dec 12, 2000.

11:44 ET
Arizona went for McCain, Hawai'i for Obama. Obama has 338 electoral votes to McCain's 156 at this point.

11:37 ET
Nevada went for Obama, according to MSNBC. This is really turning into a blowout. Eugene Robinson on MSNBC keeps choking up and it's making me teary. I recommend watching him.

11:33 ET
SPENCER: Guys, Obama is up by 5000 votes in North Carolina with 93 percent of the vote in.
MEGAN: Fuck yeah.

11:30 ET
SPENCER: What is that music they're playing at McCain HQ? It's like the background theme to the scene in Braveheart where William Wallace gets drawn and quartered
JASON: That could be exactly what it is, you know.

11:27 ET
John again mentions that America chose Barack Obama and Joe Biden, and his crowd boos again and McCain says, "Enough." Someone then shouts out "Sarah!" For real, this is an extremely, extremely classy speech. His supporters can't ruin that, thankfully, mostly because, for once, he won't let them.

11:25 ET
When he mentions Sarah Palin, the crowd goes wild. Jason points out that someone shouted out "Palin 2012!" at McCain's concession speech. Really?

11:21 ET
Overall, an extremely classy speech by John McCain. He shot down people booing, shouted out Madelyn Dunham, and asked his supporters to support the next President. Someone in the background is shouting, "Nobama," like, dude, what the fuck. McCain is keeping it classy. If he had been this John McCain the last couple of months, seriously, I wonder what I'd be writing right now.

11:19 ET
McCain gives his concession speech. People boo the mention of Obama's name, and when McCain admits that Obama loves this country, people shout angrily.

11:18 ET
SPENCER: Fuck this I'm going to say it. Who here can really say they felt this American since 9/11? Last time from fear, this time from hope. All after this dark night of being told we were somehow less than American. And we're WHITE.
MEGAN: Jesse Jackson is crying.
SPENCER: Jesse Jackson is crying
MEGAN: I don't know how to watch older men weep.

11:16 ET
MSNBC calls Florida for Ohio as well, and they've got Congressman John Lewis (D-GA). He's speechless, practically. I mean, for a Congressman.

11:14 ET
MSNBC gives Colorado to Obama. This is really turning into a landslide.

11:12 ET
MSNBC reports that McCain called Obama to concede.

11:06 ET
SPENCER: They said this day — say it with me — WOULD NEVER COME.
MEGAN: I don't know that I actually really, really thought it would happen until right now.

11:03 ET
Not that you were really worried at this point, but Oregon and Washington apparently went for Obama, too. Everyone is grooving to Stevie, obviously.

11:01 ET
SPENCER: THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
MEGAN: Wow.
SPENCER: The dirt is officially off of America's shoulder.

11:00 ET
California goes for Obama, which means that Obama has 275 electoral votes. HE WON!!

10:59 ET
Bill Hemmer admits what we all suspected was the Republican strategy while talking about the Virginia vote total: "This is a state that John McCain knew he had to keep the overall vote total down to beat Obama."

10:52 ET
SPENCER: Could it be that with VA, Obama wins the presidency even without the West Coast? Is Biggie's dream coming true? WILL CRAIG MACK COME OUT OF RETIREMENT????
MEGAN: According to Fox exit polls, 92% of African-America voters in VA went for Obama, but only 39 percent of us crackers did. 63% of new voters went for Obama. Bush won independents by 10 points in 2004, Obama took then by 1 tonight.

10:45 ET
Spencer says that while I was entranced by Chuck Todd, Fox called Virginia for Obama. America, fuck yeah!

10:44 ET
Chuck Todd points out that, given the current projections, Obama taking California and Hawai'i alone gets him to 266 of the 270 required electoral votes.

10:40 ET
Republican strategist Michael Murphy says, "I'm doing a little back-of-the-envelope math with my friend Dr. Smirnoff back here." My friend is Madame Guenoc Petite Sirah 2005.

10:37 ET
MSNBC calls South Dakota for John McCain.

10:36 ET
Virginia's Board of Elections shows that with 87% of precincts reporting, Obama just pulled away in Virginia and is now up by 31,000 votes. Jason says, "Yeah. I think they finally counted my vote." Mine, too.

10:28 ET
Howard Fineman on MSNBC says, "[McCain adviser] Mark Salter sounded like he'd been run over by a truck." Anna says "Please, someone, back that truck over him."

10:25 ET
SPENCER: ... remember how in 2003-4, there was all this talk about how the Democrats were in danger of no longer being a national party?
MEGAN: They're taking back the Midwest, bitches.
JASON: And the West. And, it's still possible to claim NC. I give Obama a slim shot at NC.

10:23 ET
Dana Bash on CNN says that Sarah Palin and John McCain are watching their loss together in the Goldwater Suite at the Biltmore Hotel. Um, I guess no one is superstitious? I guess I forgot to mention, but Mississippi recently went McCain.

10:12 ET
JASON: I am officially calling Virginia for Obama.
MEGAN: Ok, you are the new Chuck Todd!
SPENCER: Chris Shays concedes in CT. House GOP now officially extinct in New England. NO SLEEP TILL LIEBERMAN!
MEGAN: God, I wish. WTF happened to him? Did you see today he promised to filibuster with the Republicans?
JASON: Someone really should drop by Hillaryis44 and see what those idiots are saying about tonight. "A Wee Childe's Garden Of Retardation."
MEGAN: Most of them bailed out of the comment thread at 9:30, and are accusing Obama of fraud, the rest of us of not getting it and predicting the country is going to hell. Don't bother.

10:10 ET
SPENCER: [Republican strategist Alex] Castellanos on the GOP: "We broke our brand... We spread the impression, and rightly so, that what we came to Washington to end, we became."
MEGAN: Ouch. But right.

10:09 ET
Fox is calling the Georgia Senate race for Chambliss. But, you know, they did that for Wicker a minute ago. He does have to get above 50 to avoid a runoff.

10:06 ET
Fox News takes back its call for Wicker, decided to call it "too close" to call. They give Idaho to McCain, though. They say that Colorado's Senate race is too close to call, ditto for Louisiana's Senate race.

10:00 ET
MSNBC gives Iowa to Obama, Utah to McCain. Fox has Nebraska, Kansas for McCain. Texas' John Cornyn (R) will keep his seat, Carl Levin (D-MI), Tom Harkin (D-IA) and Max Baucus (D-MT) will keep theirs. Fox is projected Roger Wicker (R-MS) will keep his seat, which means that unless the Dems pull of a victory that no one expected, they won't get a filibuster-proof majority.

9:58 ET
JASON: Obama has taken the lead in Virginia. And they haven't counted my vote yet!

9:55 ET
McCain takes Texas. Whoo.

9:51 ET
Virginia's Board of Elections has 40% of Arlington County precincts reporting 66% for Obama. Not that we're Real Virginia. Sadly for McCain, our votes count like we are. HA HA.

9:45 ET
Louisiana went for McCain. There's your legacy of Katrina.

9:43 ET
KAY: If people care about the ballot initiatives, early results show both the SD ban and the CO "personhood" amendment as losing so far.
MEGAN: Good, now if we can just keep California from passing Prop 8...

9:41 ET
The Dems just picked up the New Mexico Senate seat. That's 4 Dem pickups, if you're counting. Also, Chuck Todd just said that calling it a "narrow" path to the Electoral College for John McCain is stretching.

9:35 ET
KAY: McCain FAIL.
MEGAN: Totally.
SPENCER: MSNBC has Obama winning Ohio & NH. And what Kerry state could Obama possibly lose to McCain? CNN just called Ohio for Obama. YES, I THINK WE JUST DID.
MEGAN: Karl Rove was on Fox saying McCain had to take WA, OR, CA or HI, which seems fucking unlikely.
JASON: McCain may as well shit himself a pantsload of gold doubloons.
SPENCER: I am cueing up "Dirt Off Your Shoulder."
JASON: Word. Gimme the Jay-Z/Verve mashup. ABC News now has the Old Dominion at 50/50 with 72% reporting. I think Amanda Mattos' mission of mercy may have made the difference.
KAY: I guess this was wildly inaccurate. Huh.

9:31 ET
Looking at my TV, I note that South Dakota has re-elected Senator Tim Johnson, who started 2006 with a massive brain bleed that almost killed him. At the time, I was friendly with some (Republican) South Dakota politicians, one of whom was short-listed for the appointment if he passed. So I called him and said, "Hey, wow," and he said, "You know, it's an honor to be thought of in that way, but I just hope that Tim Johnson pulls through." That guy was all class. He's out of office now.

9:27 ET
KAY: Nate Silver, hot or awkward? My friends are divided on this issue.
SPENCER: I have just emailed Nate with the promise of sex with 100 Jezebels.
MEGAN: Although not my type, I was prevailed upon/ordered to add him to the list of the 10 break-out election hotties. There was a lot of affirmation of this choice.
JASON: Hank Williams, Jr. is singing at the McCain party. Hey Hank! Are you ready for some gettin' your punk ass handed to you? Also: talent skipped a generation.
SPENCER: HAHAHAHA JAMAL IS ON THIS LIST. He goes to my gym.
MEGAN: Yeah, that one was all me.

9:24 ET
JASON: 538 is back up, which in no way should stop those 100 Jezebelles from comforting Nate Silver.

9:23 ET
MSNBC follows Fox's lead and calls Ohio for Obama (according to Anna). Fox is all but calling the election over, barring a miracle.

9:21 ET
JASON: WorryTrolls have apparently killed 538.com.
MEGAN: Aw, poor Nate Silver. I think at least 100 Jezebels would be happy to comfort him personally.

9:18 ET
Fox calls Ohio for Obama! It means that McCain needs to pick up a Washington or Oregon to get past 266 (he needs 270 Electoral College votes to win). Karl Rove sounds depressed: "No Republican has ever won while losing the state of Ohio."

9:16 ET
Republican strategist Mike Murphy on MSNBC notes that McCain isn't doing as well as he was polling in Republican counties in Florida and he's behind with the Democratic counties barely reporting. Harold Ford (former Democratic Congressman from Tennessee and Julia Allison shtupper when she was a Georgetown student with a different last name) notes what I just did about Arlington County not reporting a damn thing yet.

9:13 ET
Governor Jennifer Granholm (D-MI) is on MSNBC. She says, "Forget 'drill, baby, drill,' in Michigan, it's 'jobs, baby, jobs.'" She's sounding a little fabulously gloat-y about how Bush and McCain both pulled out. Love her.

9:09 ET
Chuck Todd reports that there aren't a lot of votes counted in the northern Virginia counties of Fairfaz, Loudon, Prince William or Arlington. Current VA Board of Elections data have a 35,000 vote difference between McCain and Obama.

JASON: SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS. Remember! It's LOUDON. My god, if you fuck that up, those sprawl-loving fucks won't let you forget it.
MEGAN: There has GOT to be 35,000 votes in Arlington alone.
KAY: At least.

9:00 ET
Fox News calls Wisconsin, New Mexico, Minnesota, Michigan and New York for Obama, North Dakota and Wyoming for McCain. North Carolina, Virginia, Florida, Indiana, Ohio and Missouri remain too close to call. New Mexico is the first Bush state to go for Obama so far... Obama is way up in Ohio, and although Brit Hume mistakenly read it as for Obama when they still consider it too close to call, Obama was whomping McCain in the early numbers.

8:54 ET
KAY: Something to remember about Minnesota (the polls close there in 6 minutes): they have day-of voter registration. This tends to boost turnout among young people, who lean Democratic.
MEGAN: Here's hoping they think Coleman looks like Lurch, too

8:49 ET
SPENCER: Megan, do we still not have Northern Va & Richmond returns?
MEGAN: Nope. Jason and I were discussing earlier that, at least in Arlington, they were offering paper ballots to every person and, at least in my district, people were really taking them up on it even though we've used these touch screens since 2004. But that means that the relatively quick results from 2006 are going to have to be later this year — and that the media has been successful in freaking people the fuck out about touch screens.
JASON: Remember, if you were standing in line at the polls in Virginia when they closed, your vote is going to be counted. Also, many key Democratic districts came in late in 2006. I'd expect the same thing.
MEGAN: Yeah, in 2006, I walked in at 6:59 pm. But, whoa, Arlington hasn't reported anything yet.

8:46 ET
Chuck Todd points out that nothing is different than 2004 yet, although it looks positive for Obama in Florida and Indiana, but Virginia is scaring him, too.

8:39 ET
Fox calls Georgia for McCain.

8:37 ET
SPENCER: NH for Obama. MAC'S BACK IS CRACK'D
JASON: Still got to poach a state.
SPENCER: Yeah, I just wanted to shit on the "Mac is Back" chant from the NH primary.
KAY: John Kerry won his re-election campaign for Senate by a wider margin than he ever could've hoped to in 2004's presidential election. I think the Senate is his true calling.
MEGAN: Brit Hume does NOT look happy about announcing PA
SPENCER: Kay, I wouldn't bet on that.
MEGAN: Megyn Kelly is saying that the only group in PA that sided with McCain is white Catholics. 81% of Hillary supporters went for Obama. Whoa, 51% of seniors went for Obama.

8:30 ET
Fox is calling Arkansas for McCain, but Ohio, Florida, Indiana, Georgia and North Carolina are still too close to call. They're just now calling Pennsylvania. In terms of Senate races, Democratic Senator Mark Pryor will keep his seat in Arkansas. Republican Jim Inhofe will keep his in Oklahoma according to MSNBC.

8:23 ET
JASON: I have to say, it would be bittersweet for me if Virginia wasn't part of an Obama victory. I'm of the belief, though, that as in 2006, the key Democratic districts are going to come in late.
MEGAN: God, I hope so because the Board of Election's numbers are freaking me the fuck out right now.
KAY: The wildly unreliable exit polls show Obama leading among men and women in VA. If they're right, the math is undeniable. And agreed on VA's BOE.

8:15 ET
Jason informed us, solemnly, that the New Hampshire Senate race has been called for former Democratic Governor Jean Shaheen. That's the 3rd Demoratic pick-up for the night, but they don't get Maine or Kentucky. Democratic Senator Dick Durbin won in Illinois but (sniff) lost his 44-year-old daughter to a birth defect last weekend. John Kerry keeps his seat in Massachusetts. MSNBC says that both Mississippi Senate seats are too close, and Alabama and Oklahoma races are too early to call. They are not calling North Carolina for Hagan. Yet.

8:14 ET
SPENCER: Take a drink every time Dana Bash blinks and you will be FITSHACED.
MEGAN: That will make it very, very difficult to live blog.

8:10 ET
Fox calls North Carolina for Kay Hagan! Fuck you and your "godless" commercial, Liddy Dole!

8:07 ET
Fox calls Kentucky's Senate race for McConnell, but Democrat Jean Shaheen appears to be way up in New Hampshire and ditto Kay Hagan in North Carolina.

SPENCER:I can't say I'm happy about the McConnell call, but the way that AFSCME gay-baited him was really repugnant and a betrayal of liberal values.
MEGAN: Repugnant and ineffective. Hopefully we can say the same thing about Liddy Dole's "Godless" commercials.

8:03 ET
Fox calls Senatorial wins for Democrats Joe Biden (DE), Frank Lautenburg (NJ). Republican Susan Collins is the projected winner in Maine. It's still too close to call for McConnell in Kentucky, Dole in North Carolina or Chambliss in Georgia. John Cornyn (R-TX), Lamar Alexander (R-TN), Jay Rockefeller (D-WV) will keep their seats.

8:00 ET
MSNBC calls Pennsylvania, Illinois, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Maryland, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Maine, Delaware and D.C. for Obama. McCain gets Tennessee, Oklahoma. Obama's got 103 and McCain's got 34 electoral votes based on those projections.

7:58 ET
This is what happens when America keeps us waiting.

MEGAN: Valerie Jarrett is on MSNBC and is wearing a shirt from the Ann Taylor factory store. I know because I own the same shirt.
JASON: I'm sure you wear it better, Megan.
KAY: But we all know that coverage of women's clothing is sexist.
MEGAN: I am a sexist, everyone knows.

7:53 ET
Our team seems to have lost focus, except for Kay who is steely-eyed in her resolve to keep us on track.
JASON: The only question so far this election is: How many CNN employees got laid off so Wolf Blitzer could talk to fucking holograms?
MEGAN: Damn, MSNBC just showed a commercial for Australia and I now want to see it so. bad.
SPENCER: It took a 2-mile walk, but I now have a 6-pack of High Life and a Wendy's bacon cheeseburger. I'd like to believe the fact that I scored the last BBQ sauce packet augurs well for Obama-Biden.
KAY: Obama appears to have won a significant county in Indiana.

7:48 ET
Taking one for the team, Jason is watching Fox and says they have called West Virginia has been called for McCain.
JASON: No surprises so far. McCain wins SC, KY, up in WV (Fox has already called it.)

7:46 ET
MSNBC calls South Carolina for McCain, and Olberman says that an AP poll shows that 1/3 of voters who voted to re-elected Republican Governor Mitch Daniels (former Bush OMB Director and Eli Lilly exec) in Indiana voted for Obama.

7:43 ET
Have become completely obsessed with the Fox/MSNBC scrolls of individual House races. Olbermann is showing vid of McCain's last speech on the Straight Talk Plane. Cindy's staring at him adoringly. She's wearing her "I Voted!" sticker. His cardboard cutout is staring at me from behind McCain's right shoulder. He's kissing the press's collective ass. Amusingly, Lieberman was standing directly behind him.

7:35 ET ET
Virginia's Board of Elections shows that with about 5% of precincts reporting, McCain is up by 13,000 votes about of 103,000 counted so far. It's mostly rural counties reporting, with some suburban, according to Michael Barone on Fox News.

7:32 ET
Fox News is reporting that the North Carolina Senate race is too close to call and Kay Hagan has a slight lead. McConnell has a very slight lead in Kentucky. Chambliss has a slight lead but it's too close (and he has to get about 50% to avoid a run off in December).

7:30 ET
MSNBC reporting it's too close to call in North Carolina; Ohio and West Virginia are too early to call. Virginia and Georgia are too early to call, still, and Indiana is still too close (about 15,000 vote difference with only 14% in). I miss when they just used to call shit.

7:23 ET
I hate doing this, but Fox News' standards for what they'll show is way lower. With less than 1% in, they've got McCain way up in Florida and Georgia, a little up in Indiana with 10% in and Obama waaaay up in Maine with less than 1% in. MSNBC projects the Dems to take 261 seats in the House, Fox has them taking far fewer. They are now reporting another stupid lawsuit against Brunner in Ohio. They really, really like suing there in Ohio.

7:16 ET
MSNBC says Virginia's too early to call. That's because the Virginia Board of Elections does not plan to start releasing data until 7:30 ET. MSNBC exits polls could be positive for Obama.

7:02 ET
MSNBC projects Mark Warner (D) will pick up the open Virginia Senate seat and Lindsay Graham (R-SC) will keep his. It's too close to call in Kentucky (incumbent: Republican Mitch McConnell) and Georgia (incumbent: Republican Saxby Chambliss).

7:00 ET
MSNBC projects Kentucky for McCain, Vermont for Obama. They are not calling: Indiana (too close), Georgia (too early), Virginia (too early), South Carolina (too early).

6:50 ET
JASON: I just need to say: Someone has got to knock down this rumor of a Kristen Wiig/Joe The Plumber tryst PRETTY DAMNED QUICK. Who do we have on this?
MEGAN: If I were really drunk, I would hit that, too.
JASON: All I can say, is that with the level of notoriety he's gotten for himself, I'd better tune in in about two years to discover that he's the motherfucking KING OF THE PLUMBERS. If Joe can't become the Rupert Goddamn Murdoch of Plumbing and HVAC Repair, then he needs to get kicked in the fucking nuts by the entire nation.
MEGAN: I'll take the first shot.
JASON: Yes you can.

• If you weren't already aware, voter turnout is really high. That's led to some scattered problems, which will be chronicled after the jump. [Washington Post]
• In the mean time, the fucking Supreme Court heard the fucking case about fucking swearing on fucking TV. They didn't say "fuck" once, so I felt like someone had to. [Washington Post]
• A lot of people in California who really love each other rushed to get married today in case a bunch of small-minded, easily-led voters decide to make it illegal today for them to do so tomorrow. [NY Times]
• Joe Lieberman "fears" for the future of this country if the Democrats gain a filibuster-proof majority today, and has vowed to join with Republicans to filibuster anything they want to show his contempt for his constituents and the Americans who decided they were okay with a Democratic Senate. [Think Progress]

• Actor Tim Robbins was the most prominent victim of the ironically-named Help America Vote Act's mandated purges of voter rolls today. Being rather well-informed, he took his ass to court to force the city of New York to allow him to vote in the regular fashion, rather than provisionally since it would have gotten discarded. Can we just agree HAVA needs to be revisited next year? [NY Times]
• Rudy and Judith Nathan Giuliani apparent had no such difficulties and even got to cut in line. [Village Voice]
• Some people in Detroit waited 4-5 hours to vote. [CNN]
• Ditto in St. Louis. [CNN]
• A bunch of people in New Mexico that requested absentee ballots never got them and were told to show up and cast provisional ballots, as though if one needed to vote absentee that was a possibility. [CNN]
• At one Florida voting site, they had one machine to accommodate all the voters. Yeah, it was in a predominately African-American neighborhood. [Huffington Post]
• There were big problems with broken machines and a lack of paper ballots in Richmond, Virginia today, too. [Huffington Post]
• In Indiana, the GOP violated a judges orders and tried to challenge the voting status of foreclosed-upon voters. [Huffington Post]
• Some voters in Ohio were forced to cast provisional ballots (which might or might not be counted) because poll workers screwed up and thought that the address on the license had to match the address on the registration. It doesn't. [CNN]
• A 92-year-old woman in Texas cast her ballot from an ambulance outside the polling place when her absentee ballot didn't arrive. [CBS]
• Joe the Motherfucking Plumber went to the wrong polling place and tried to good ol' "Do you know who I am?" when he got stopped for speeding this week. Fuck. Off. Dude. [Wonkette]
• Joining JTMP in fucking off should be P.U.M.A. co-founder Will Bower. [CNN]
• Not that she swears, but 114-year-old Gertrude Baines, the daughter of former slaves who voted for Obama today, probably shares that sentiment. [LA Times]

Colorado
After reports surfaced that Republican Secretary of State Mike Coffman had purged tens of thousands of voters from the rolls in Colorado within the sacrosanct 90-day time period in which purges are illegal, he was sued to add the voters back in. This week, a federal court forced Coffman to not only add those voters back onto the rolls, but to grant their provisional ballots special status. When one of the purged voters files a ballot, the state has to actively prove that they don't qualify to vote or else count the ballot.

Florida
The grandmother of voter suppression efforts by the GOP, early voters are turning out in record numbers here, too, hoping to avoid a repeat of the 2000 election. Most of them say they're hoping that if their votes get screwed up, voting early will give them time to fix things. Of course, machine breakdowns and ID-verification ended up slowing the process down, which means that early voters have hurried up to stand in line anyway. Despite GOP concerns that early voting could cost them the election, Republican Governor Charlie Crist ordered early voting locations to stay open longer to accommodate the unexpected surge.

Georgia
In a state seeing unprecedented voter turnout, particularly in African-American communities, and with scores of people voting early (as much as 40 percent of the total 2004 turnout), it's worth nothing that the Republican Secretary of State, Karen Handel, "flagged" as many as 55,000 Georgia voters for additional review prior to the election. While the courts told her to notify the 4,500 flagged for citizenship review that they were eligible to vote, there's no word on the other 50,000 people she's trying to kick off.

Michigan
Michigan has a system that sends newly registered voters cards to confirm their registration. Since 2006, about 5,000 of those cards were returned as undeliverable, and the state threw those voters off the rolls with no other evidence. This week, a federal appeals court ordered the state to re-enroll those voters, insisting that the state law does not require the receipt of the notification card, so the state can't declare them not registered. Those (and other voters) can still face a request for proof of residency at the polls.

Ohio
Ohio, the biggest, swingiest state of them all, has also been a hotbed of voter purges, new registration and Republican activity this year. As mentioned before, Ohio Republicans attempted to force Democratic Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner to throw people off the rolls and stop allowing voters who registered after the early voting period had started to vote; Brunner declined and the Supreme Court sided with her. Bush even tried to get the Department of Justice to weigh in on it, but AG Michael Mukasey decided he didn't want to end up a Gonzales-style legal outcast and declined. Nonetheless,most observers expect that Ohio will be the biggest clusterfuck of this election season (possibly even surpassing Florida in 2000), full of legal challenges, fraud allegations, suppression allegations and general stupid political shit that has nothing to do with anything. Should be fun.

Pennsylvania
The state of Pennsylvania went to court to argue that it didn't need to provide voters with paper ballots — despite all this talk of record turn-out — unless all of the machines in a polling place fail. Judge Harvey Bartle ruled that if half of the machines in a polling place break, the state has to provide paper ballots to voters. The state decided against appealing the decision, apparently realizing that forcing voters to stand in long lines to all use one functioning machine is probably not the best plan.

Virginia
The Virginia NAACP filed a lawsuit against Democratic Governor Tim Kaine this week, alleging that the state was failing to provide enough voting machines at minority voting places and asking the judge to force them to try to keep wait times to 45 minutes. They withdrew their request for a temporary injunction yesterday after negotiations with Kaine's administration, but the lawsuit remains active. People trying to take advantage of in-person absentee voting in Northern Virginia locations like Arlington have had to wait as long as 90 minutes this week. Worse yet, an anonymous group has been distributing flyers in Democratic precincts intended to convince voters that the day for Democrats to vote in November 5th.

West Virginia
After numerous complaints from voters that touch screens were flipping their votes for McCain, Jeff Waybright, the Jackson County clerk, attempted to explain away the errors and improperly calibrated machines. He demonstrated how it might look that way when a machine was improperly calibrated, and then calibrated the machine. It promptly failed to do what it was supposed to. So, if you live in West Virginia, review your votes carefully and take your paper record.

Voter Registration Smashes Records [MSNBC]
Concern Mounts Over Expected Voting Surge [CBS]
Some Voters Still Waiting On Absentee Ballots [CNN]
Colorado Agrees to Restore Voters to Rolls [NY Times]
How Early Voting Could Cost McCain Florida [Time]
Gov. Crist Extends Early Voting Hours statewide [Miami Herald]
Black Voters May Lead Democratic Wave [Salon]
Thousands Of Flagged Voters Can Vote, Court Rules [CNN]
Michigan Loses Appeal Over Voters Rolls [MSNBC]
Ain't Like the Old Days [Talking Points Memo]
In Tight Race, Victor May Be Ohio Lawyers [NY Times]
Judge: PA Must Have Paper Ballots Ready If Half Of Machines Fail [CNN]
Va. NAACP Sues Virginia Governor Over Election Readiness [AP]
NAACP Drops Voting Lawsuit [Richmond Times-Dispatch]
Delays Abound in Early-Voting Surge; Predictions of High Turnout, Confusion [Wall Street Journal]
Phony Board Of Elections Flier Tells Virginia Democrats To Tote On November 5 [Think Progress]
West Virginia Vote Flipping Allegedly Caught On Tape [Huffington Post]

Earlier: There's Nothing Some Fear More Than Citizens Exercising Their Constitutional Rights
Voter Suppression And You: A Guide For Unreal Americans

MEGAN: It's good to have the old gang back together! We should make it a point to talk about ass fucking.

JIM: Please. Please no ass fucking. What a disgusting act. But yes, hello, Megan and friends here at the Jezebel.

MEGAN: I'm sorry that the bad man did that to you that time. But that doesn't mean no one likes it.

JIM: HAHAHA WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? Tell me a political story.

MEGAN: Sort of like I'm sorry that that Michelle had to submit to The Chin last night. Or the fact that "no one really knows how often electronic voting machines fail. The Election Assistance Commission—an independent governmental agency charged with establishing election standards—doesn't collect comprehensive statistics on failure rates".

JIM: Hmm, is J. Crew a "good" political brand for Michelle Obama to sport, or does it make her seem fancy? Here's my answer: no one cares.

MEGAN: That's because a dude tells us it's sexist to care. Which I guess makes all women sexist. Because I was like, what happened to White House Black Market?

JIM: All this talk about voter irregularities. I'm led to believe that if I vote for Obama (btw, I'm not voting because I live in DC which will go 143% for Obama; sue me) a robot will jump out of a broken computer screen and chop off my head with acorns. There's way too much of this conspiratorial malarkey going around. Everyone knows that people will vote and whatever happens, George Bush will somehow win again.

MEGAN: And we will all thank our robot overlords, bowing and scraping to their king, Dick Cheneybot 9000.

JIM: This is never an auspicious start: "Republican [figure] called the media 'sexist' Monday..."

MEGAN: But that is how everything starts now! Republicans care about us laydeez and how sexism affects our daily lives, like when we read media stories about Sarah Palin's clothes. Just not, you know, when we want insurance to cover our birth control or our bosses to pay us the same as our male colleagues doing the same work. That's just silly. Also, did you know that the head of the RNC was some guy named Mike Duncan? Didn't it used to be, like, famous Republicans and shit? No wonder their brand sucks.

JIM: Yes, Ed Gillespie was the most famous person alive when he ran that little chop shop. I have no idea what this "Duncan" looks like. Maybe he is unattractive.

MEGAN: Not to be sexist again but yes.

JIM: Oh he's kind of cute. Hey so let's talk about abortion, specifically, how all Liberal ladies like to have them, all the time, for fun. This is why Liberals hate Sarah Palin, according to the National Review, in one of my favorite articles ever. Some loser argues that since Palin didn't abort her "Trigger," Liberals all RESENT HER FOR BEING MORAL. All I do now is read the National Review all day long.

MEGAN: They are bringing the crazy like no one else this election year, it's true.

JIM:

Seeing the Palin family, in a very visible public forum, with an uncompromising and public pro life philosophy arouses deeply repressed feelings in post abortive parents, as well as media members, counselors, health care professionals, politicians and others who promote abortion rights, especially the abortion of children with challenges such as Down Syndrome. These powerful repressed feelings of grief, guilt and shame can be deflected from the source of the wound (i.e., abortion) and projected onto an often uncharitable focus upon the trigger of these painful emotions…the Palin family.

Is this true, gals?

MEGAN: I mean, obviously I'm just a quivering mass of grief, guilt and shame from the abortion I never had nor needed to have because my school saw fit to teach me about birth control, I have seen fit to use it even when insurance didn't cover it but did cover my colleagues' Viagra and because I've been damn lucky. Yes, deep quivering mass of shame, that's why everything I write is about how Sarah Palin is an annoying slag. I mean, if we're going to talk about misdirected anger, methinks some sort of National Review writer knows a little too much about what it feels like for a girl.

JIM: I hope National Review goes under next, since we now have a magazine or newspaper imploding two or three times a day. Ha ha, "jobs," there are none.

MEGAN: Well, Christopher Buckley "left" to save all those angry Republicans from canceling their subscriptions after his apostasy. So I guess that means it will survive or something. Sadly.

JIM: Yeah, and now obviously he is the greatest person in Political History according to the liberal media. It's reminiscent also of how he "left" his bastard child son by disowning him and how WFB Jr. "left" the same bastard child no money in his will by claiming that the kid was DEAD TO HIM.

MEGAN: Wow, it's obviously the kid's fault that his dad likes doinking publicists. Also, Anna just sent this to me as "breaking" news, but apparently a "top McCain adviser" — you know, one of the ones that convinced McCain to choose her — thinks that Palin is a "whack job". Good to know that they're not completely out of touch with reality.

JIM: Ha ha, surely this person would say the exact same thing if McCain was winning the election. This is just more Mormon space espionage from the Romney loyalists.

MEGAN: Well, if anyone knows about whack jobs from personal experience, it would be Mormons. And Romney loyalists.

JIM: Hmm, well let's guess who this could be. My guess is: John McCain.

MEGAN: OMG, that would be the best thing ever. Like, fuck my advisers shutting me off from the press, I'm going to sneak into the Straight Talk Potty and engage in some straight talk.

JIM: My guess is: Michael Goldfarb.

MEGAN: Anyone that likes Abba as much as Michael Goldfarb has no place calling Sarah Palin a whack job. Besides, he couldn't go back to his old job "writing" because love for Palin is the new litmus test. I'm betting it's a lobbyist. We're all wicked backstabbers.

JIM: Well she wouldn't be such a whack job if they would LET HER FREE. Let's talk about the electoral map or something, speaking of whacking off.

MEGAN: The electoral map? Man, I would've had more coffee if we were going to get down with The Math this early. And by "more" I mean "some."

JIM: Ha ha I have had none! Anyway. Ahem: KERRY STATES +IA+NM+CO OR +FL OR +VA+NV+... Oh I can't do this either. But there are new shocking states at least make-believe "coming into play" every day. Arizona (angry Mexican spill over from NM/CA/CO)

MEGAN: Dude, I suddenly live in a swing state.

JIM: And the funny thing about that bad boy is that John McCain pretends to live there!

MEGAN: When he really actually lives here! There's a reason that his campaign office is located in Arlington and not, say, Sedona, and that's because it makes it easy for him to walk to work, not that he does because his entourage drives the 3 blocks in their armored SUVs that get 8 mpg.

JIM: Ha ha you live in the Racist Confederacy, this is true. You should come up to DC for Election Night though, to participate in the Race Riots!

MEGAN: I'll head over to Rosslyn and live blog it burning from a safe distance. Luckily, everyone in D.C. is too gephyrophobic to come across the river.

JIM: What is that fancy $50 Georgetown master's degree word you're throwing at me?

MEGAN: Phobic of bridges.

JIM: Oh. I could've guess that from context! I did poorly on the SAT.

MEGAN: Bullshit, Mr. Ivy Grad.

JIM: Tut tut now!

MEGAN: Where's your monocle?

JIM: Sssshhh I WILL PURCHASE YOU. And SELL YOU to THE ACORNS.

MEGAN: Noes! not the ACORNS! Did they give you a cane with which to hit other staffers with at graduation?

JIM: YES, that was the best story ever! How do you wake up this early, every morning. I would vote for that Republican, Wolf, because why not, that little twerp deserved a caning.

MEGAN: Dude, I wake up at 7:30, curse the world, and try not to die of sleep deprivation.

JIM: You grown-ups are weird.

• Were you — like Glamour editor Cindi Leive wondering how Sarah Palin managed to spend so much money on her wardrobe? By the way, the suit she wore at the debate was Tahari, one of my favorite affordable suit makers. [New York Times]
• Well, it turns out that she might not have really ended up with all $150,000 of it, as some of the purchases included ripped T-shirts and clothing for a 2-year-old. [New York Times]
• She might have to claim the clothes as income for tax purposes, though, and a formal complaint has been filed with the FEC about the clothes. [Andrew Sullivan, Politico]
• Oh, and she got pissy with the SNL costume people because the matching suits they had her and Tina Fey in weren't in keeping with her "new" image. [Huffington Post]

• In actual news, the chairwoman of a New Mexico women's GOP group, Marcia Stirman, wrote an OpEd in which she called Obama a "Muslim Socialist" and declared all Muslims "our enemies." That's what the McCain camp needs right now, definitely. [Salon]
• Someone (or a group of someones) has been vandalizing the Minnesota homes of the entire Congressional delegation. [Pioneer Press]
• Air America's Mark Maron went to a Palin rally in Colorado springs, didn't find hate but did get a shiny copper penny from an old guy. [The Guardian]
• The Washington Post's Dana Milbank went in search of the Real Virginia and found that it's voting for Barack Obama. [Washington Post]
• The FDIC may start to insure your mortgages as well as your bank deposits in the hopes that lenders will stop foreclosing, but they probably won't because they're dicks and they all live in Delaware. [Washington Post]
• Like most Americans, Alan Greenspan is really sorry that he thought The Market was self-regulating. [New York Times]
• The McCains and the Obamas would save money under either candidate's tax plan, but the McCains would save $732,000 under his plan. Yowza. [Think Progress]
• And in awful news, a 20-year-old woman was mugged and then, when the mugger noticed her McCain bumper sticker, maimed. He carved a "B" in her face. Barack Obama's campaign (and everyone else in this country) wants the sick fuck brought to justice. Not in our names, dude. [WTAE, Politico]

In fact, when compared to other vaccines, those receiving Gardasil shots reported fewer "serious adverse events." The Journal reports that 6% of Gardasil complaints were "serious," while "most vaccines have reported serious adverse events rates between 10% and 15%."

Even with these findings, immigrant advocates are still not happy that immigrant women between the ages of 11-26 are required to get the Gardasil shot before receiving their green cards. As we reported earlier, the expense of this shot is a serious barrier, and the L.A. Times reported yesterday that some experts think the shot could be fairly ineffective. "Many women will very likely get this only for the purpose of the visa," according to Kate Bourne of the International Women's Health Coalition. "Quite likely they will be at the upper end of the age range, which means they are more likely to already be sexually active, and this vaccine is useless to them." The only group of women and girls required to get the Gardasil vaccine beyond immigrants is residents of the state of Virginia, because as we all know, Virginia IS for lovers, despite what Nancy Pfotenhauer says.

Side Effects Not Linked To Gardasil [WSJ]
Immigrants' Advocates Decry Cervical Cancer Vaccine Order [LAT]

Earlier: Experts Question The Cost Effectiveness Of HPV Vaccine
Experts Appalled At Gardasil Requirement For Immigrant Women

• Sarah Palin gave an interview to CNN's Drew Griffin, who only had to provide his viewers with misleading information on Troopergate and ACORN to get it. Try not to throw things against the screen when you watch it. [CNN, Huffington Post]
• By the way, although she said in that interview that she's excited to work on American's energy independence, she pushed the federal government to allow natural gas exports. The U.S. imports 771 billion cubic feet last year, and Alaska exported 100 billion. [CBS]
• Oh, and while she's running around mocking Joe Biden's statement that the Obama Administration might face an international crisis, CNN pointed out that the Cuban Missile Crisis started off Kennedy's Administration; the fall of Saigon, Ford's; the first World Trade Center bombing, Clinton's; and 9/11, Bush's. Silly facts. [Hotline]

• Sort of like how she thinks she would be "in charge" of the Senate even though the Constitution says the Vice President's only role is to break tie votes. She's not going to let old pieces of paper get in her way because she's a Maverick! [Swampland, Radar]
• One of her supporters in Virginia replaced a 78-year-old African-American Baptist minister's yard sign with a Confederate flag. I supposed we should just all thank our lucky stars that it wasn't a burning cross. [Huffington Post]
• By the way, Obama's grandmother broke her hip, and isn't in great shape. [Huffington Post]

Pfriend or Pfoe? [The Daily Show]

• Sarah Palin knows that John McCain's robocalls are pissing people off and she wouldn't do them if she were running the campaign. However, since she's not running things, she dutifully spoke into the robocall-making microphone like the big boys told her to. [CNN, TPM Election Central]
• Also, in North Carolina, black people exercising their franchise is "cheating" and white people trying to harass them into leaving the polls and not voting is just sickening. [Washington Times]
• But go watch some McCain supporters tell some fear mongers to fuck off at a Virginia rally, you might feel slightly better. [Attackerman]
• And then just imagine the sweet bliss of an Obama SNL appearance on November 1st. [Mollygood]

• The fuzz made their first voter fraud arrest of the 2008 election season. He's a Republican. The Bush Administration smacked their foreheads and said "D'oh!" in unison. [LA Times]
• Speaking of, remember that funny video of Homer being unable to cast a vote for Obama because the machine wouldn't let him? Yeah, that's actually what's happening in West Virginia right now. That shit's only funny when it's not true. [Politico, Charleston Gazette]
• In the great "boxers or briefs" debate of oh-eight, John Kerry might go commando and, slightly more horrifyingly, he joked that John McCain wears Depends. McCain probably gets them black market off of David Vitter, slightly worn. [Politicker MA]
• And in possibly the best quote of the day, in reference to everyone's favorite McCain debate picture, The Independent says: "If everyone thinks you're a bit old, and a bit weird, it's best not to do what makes you look rickety, undignified and mad as a sack of badgers." Badgers! [The Independent]

• This is an actual direct mail piece from the Virginia Republican Party, encouraging people to vote against "evil." I encourage people to vote against evil, too — the kind of evil that would stoke racial fears to win an election. [Mark Halperin]
• Also, please vote against the kind of evil that thinks it's funny to put a picture of Obama on a fake food stamp adorned with fried chicken and watermelon. That would be the evil that comes out of the California group Chaffey Community Republican Women [The Press Enterprise]
• Or the kind that suggests that Obama's mother would've aborted him had she the legal right to, so he should consider taking away that right from other people. [National Review]

• Joe The Plumber isn't really named Joe, isn't really a licensed plumber, wouldn't really pay more in taxes under Obama's plan — but he might have to pay his back taxes now. Naughty, naughty. Oh, and because his name is misspelled on his voter registration card, he'd be stopped from casting his ballot if he was a newbie. [NY Times, Politico]
• The Secret Service is now actively separating the press from McCain supporters, which is rather a broad interpretation of their mission to protect the candidate. [Washington Post]
• Unsurprisingly, the FBI and Justice Department are investigating ACORN "for any evidence of a coordinated national scam." Because that's likely. [Huffington Post]
• That lobbyist, Vicki Iseman, who the New York Times said had an affair with John McCain broke her silence and said that she didn't. She thinks she got dragged into it because of some bad feelings between former McCain aide John Weaver and current McCain aide Rick Davis, but who knows. [National Journal]
• But just to end things on an upbeat note for once, go read the inspiring story of civil rights leader Andrew Young who got to cast a ballot for a black Presidential candidate today. It's sweet. [Traverse City Record Eagle]

MEGAN: Hey, what's up? Is it weird that I'm not hungover but I feel enough out of it that I might as well be?

SPENCER: Can you believe that the District of Columbia revoked my driver's license just because I decided not to pay a ticket that I got in New Jersey a couple months ago?

MEGAN: Quite honestly, kind of. I know other people who have gotten their licenses revoked for that kind of thing. I always winced a little when you mentioned that, but everyone knows I'm a goodie two-shoes except when it comes to D.C. parking tickets. And then I'm a soulless, conscienceless scofflaw.

SPENCER: You, I know, have a system in place for [redacted] when you accumulate tickets. Ingenious

MEGAN: Shhhh. Anyway, so, doesn't it feel to you like this VP picking process has gone on forever? Like they're just playing chicken with one another?

SPENCER: According to Adam "Ad Nags" Nagourney, it all ends as early as tomorrow:

Mr. Obama had not notified his choice — or any of those not selected — of his decision as of late Monday, advisers said. Going into the final days, Mr. Obama was said to be focused mainly on three candidates: Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana, Gov. Tim Kaine of Virginia and Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr. of Delaware.

I say no to Bayh, maybe to Biden, and yes to Kaine. Tell me what you think

MEGAN: Well, I'm on record as feeling like Bayh is just a Washington climber who never, ever wants to have to go back to Indiana, and I'm betting he ends up with a cabinet job, but then I saw this rumor that an Obama staffer said it was him to CNN plus screencap of the now-pulled story and I got a little worried. I have no idea why he'd pick Biden, honestly, I want to believe he's just a red herring. I couldn't believe Kaine would saddle the state with a Republican governor by leaving (who would then get to run for a term of his own, bypassing Virginia's term limit law), but then I remembered he's a politician.

SPENCER: I heard about that. If he picks Bayh, the left will go fucking firecrackers. My friend Max even set up a facebook group against Bayh, and these guys already feel seriously dissed by Obama after FISA.

MEGAN: I miss Sebelius speculation.

SPENCER: Let's talk Kaine in a second. Why would he pick Biden? Biden, writes Jon Cohn in TNR — an honest man at a dishonest magazine — has that foreign policy expertise and that pugilism:

If Biden is the choice, I think it would speak well of Obama's judgment. Biden has a deep and impressive resume: Not only is he the guy who orchestrated the defeat of Robert Bork back in the 1980s, but he can also claim among his legislative accomplishments the Violence Against Women's Act, which is no small feat. He's smart, articulate, and is a bona fide expert on foreign policy: In other words, he's certainly capable of assuming the presidency in an emergency, which is really the most important criteria of all.

Joe Biden also has a good critique of TNR, for that matter. Four years ago I went to interview him for a piece about Kerry's counterterrorism strategy for TNR and he was trying to figure out whether I wanted him to say that Kerry would take a more targeted, al-Qaeda-centric approach or would just kill all the Arabs "Your magazine," he said (this is from memory), "has to figure out whether it's liberal or neoconservative, already."

MEGAN: Ha, this douchebag and his syncophants (one of whom emailed me last night to castigate me, by the way) are suing to get the VAWA thrown out as unconstitutional. Also, I love that he said that to you.

SPENCER: Oh shit i have to read that post! PS, don't fucking Twitter while we're doing Crappy Hour. You forget I'm on your feed!

MEGAN: I was waiting for you to type! I don't dislike Joe Biden, I honestly could see him as Secretary of State, but I really don't think this election is going to be won on foreign policy issues with the economy in the crapper.

SPENCER: Biden: I like the pugilism a lot. Don't expect it to be won on foreign policy. Picking Biden would be to tamp down McCain's only (if you believe the polls) advantage, leaving him with nothing while Obama kicks his ass on the economy

MEGAN: And he's a great speaker. But Delaware? And your friend Jon's right about that bankruptcy bill, that was a huge giveaway to the credit card companies... and sponsored by Arlington Congressman/wife-beater Jim Moran. He'd like me to come to his women's issues forum with Donna Brazile. Maybe if I bring a small, African American child he can smack him for the crowd.

SPENCER: That's a dream, man! I'm really equivocal on Biden. He voted for the war, though he calls it a mistake. In reality, he didn't want to vote for the war, he was terrified of getting smeared as unpatriotic like he did after he voted against the first Gulf War and this was a year after 9/11.

MEGAN: I see your point, but I think Kaine's a trade-up. Plus, bonus Catholic points, since Obama isn't going to win a ton of evangelical votes.

SPENCER: Now: Tim Kaine. I know nothing about him and like him!

MEGAN: That's pretty much Tim Kaine's advantage right there.

SPENCER: He's white and dimply and Virginian and I guess kind of liberal and didn't vote for the Iraq war, so that works for me. You, my friend, are the Virginia resident among us, so make the case. How liberal is he?

MEGAN: The eyebrows are killer, though. With all the smack Sebelius took for her response to the State of the Union, I can't believe no one brought up his.

SPENCER: A bunch of activists on a listserv I'm on seem to think he's unacceptably less-than-deep-blue.

MEGAN: He's a serious Catholic, I'm guessing that freaks some liberals out. But he's a serious Catholic seriously personally opposed to capital punishment who nonetheless denies clemency requests to prove that the Pope ain't the boss of him, or something, so I don't love that about him. That part makes me miss Mario Cuomo.

SPENCER: How is he as a governor?

MEGAN: I mean, I think he's been a pretty decent politician, the legislature here is pretty right-wing and he's successfully pushed stuff through and kept crap from going through. He's been pretty good on transportation issues, which are huge up here in NoVa, but were he not on the short list, I would guess that he'd be remembered as a serviceable but not spectacular governor unless he does something crazy at the end of his term.

SPENCER: Yeah, northern VA is all wine-swilling assholes like you. Jesus CHRIST if I make my Windy deadline this morning it'll be a miracle...

MEGAN: Actually, if Obama takes Virginia and Colorado, he can lose Florida or Ohio. And, I'm sorry, McCain's best feint on getting a Virginian on the ticket was Eric Cantor, so...

SPENCER: HAHAHAHAHA if McCain has to get a Virginian it will speak desperation. Not like the bravery of choosing Joe Lieberman!

[McCain's] top contenders are said to include Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. Less traditional choices mentioned include former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, an abortion-rights supporter, and Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, the Democratic vice presidential prick in 2000 who now is an independent.

MEGAN: I'm actually amazed that there's not a single Southerner on McCain's short list.

SPENCER: Joe, Joe, Joe! Make the GOP ticket the most jowly of all time! If McCain goes with Lieberman, I reverse my choice and hope Obama picks Biden, just because Biden will tear the living shit out of Lieberman in any debate.

MEGAN: Oh, fuck yeah, that would be popcorn and beer time watching that! At what point in the race do you think Lieberman would start undermining McCain the way he did Al Gore?

SPENCER: Not even SLIGHTLY and here's why. Lieberman is animated by the classic neoconservative grievance of rejection by his first love, the Democratic Party. Jacob Heilbrunn's book goes into this pathology in detail. And honestly, I have to admit I understand it, given my inability to let go of this whole TNR shit. That's why Lieberman has been such an eager attack dog for the right ever since he lost his primary in 2006 — he wants, and wants badly, to redress what the left did to him. He's not actually rightwing. He's anti-anti-left, and ferociously so.

MEGAN: Well, you know, if you want to be a hawk, don't expect a bunch of doves to come flocking to you.

SPENCER: He's obsessed with his own transcendent righteousness. Whatever, if Obama is going to tell me who the pick is by texting me, then McCain will announce his pick by telegraph-machine. A cavalcade of whimsy!

[Thanks to Midwood.net for the image!]

Instead he turned around and wrote this Dead Poets Society shit to the student body:

Dear Members of the William & Mary Community:

I was informed by the Rector on Sunday, after our Charter Day celebrations, that my contract will not be renewed in July. Appropriately, serving the College in the wake of such a decision is beyond my imagining. Accordingly, I have advised the Rector, and announce today, effective immediately, my resignation as president of the College of William & Mary. I return to the faculty of the school of law to resume teaching and writing.

I have made four decisions, or sets of decisions, during my tenure that have stirred ample controversy.

First, as is widely known, I altered the way a Christian cross was displayed in a public facility, on a public university campus, in a chapel used regularly for secular College events — both voluntary and mandatory — in order to help Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, and other religious minorities feel more meaningfully included as members of our broad community. The decision was likely required by any effective notion of separation of church and state. And it was certainly motivated by the desire to extend the College's welcome more generously to all. We are charged, as state actors, to respect and accommodate all religions, and to endorse none. The decision did no more.

Second, I have refused, now on two occasions, to ban from the campus a program funded by our student-fee-based, and student-governed, speaker series. To stop the production because I found it offensive, or unappealing, would have violated both the First Amendment and the traditions of openness and inquiry that sustain great universities. It would have been a knowing, intentional denial of the constitutional rights of our students. It is perhaps worth recalling that my very first act as president of the College was to swear on oath not to do so.

Third, in my early months here, recognizing that we likely had fewer poor, or Pell eligible, students than any public university in America, and that our record was getting worse, I introduced an aggressive Gateway scholarship program for Virginians demonstrating the strongest financial need. Under its terms, resident students from families earning $40,000 a year or less have 100% of their need met, without loans. Gateway has increased our Pell eligible students by 20% in the past two years.

Fourth, from the outset of my presidency, I have made it clear that if the College is to reach its aspirations of leadership, it is essential that it become a more diverse, less homogeneous institution. In the past two and half years we have proceeded, with surprising success, to assure that is so. Our last two entering classes have been, by good measure, the most diverse in the College's history. We have, in the past two and a half years, more than doubled our number of faculty members of color. And we have more effectively integrated the administrative leadership of William & Mary. It is no longer the case, as it was when I arrived, that we could host a leadership retreat inviting the 35 senior administrators of the College and see, around the table, no persons of color.

As the result of these decisions, the last sixteen months have been challenging ones for me and my family. A committed, relentless, frequently untruthful and vicious campaign — on the internet and in the press — has been waged against me, my wife and my daughters. It has been joined, occasionally, by members of the Virginia House of Delegates — including last week's steps by the Privileges and Elections Committee to effectively threaten Board appointees if I were not fired over decisions concerning the Wren Cross and the Sex Workers' Art Show. That campaign has now been rendered successful. And those same voices will no doubt claim victory today.

It is fair to say that, over the course of the past year, I have, more than once, considered either resigning my post or abandoning the positions I have taken on these matters — which I believe crucial to the College's future. But as I did so, I thought of other persons as well.

I thought of those students, staff, faculty, and alumni, not of the religious majority, who have told me of the power of even small steps, like the decision over display of the Wren Cross, to recognize that they, too, are full members of this inspiring community.

I have thought of those students, faculty, and staff who, in the past three years, have joined us with explicit hopes and assurances that the College could become more effectively opened to those of different races, backgrounds, and economic circumstances — and I have thought of my own unwillingness to voluntarily abandon their efforts, and their prospects, in mid-stream.

I have thought of faculty and staff members here who have, for decades, believed that the College has, unlike many of its competitors, failed to place the challenge of becoming an effectively diverse institution center stage — and who, as a result, have been strongly encouraged by the progress of the last two years.

I have thought of the students who define and personify the College's belief in community, in service, in openness, in idealism — those who make William & Mary a unique repository of the American promise. And I have believed it unworthy, regardless of burden, to break our bonds of partnership.

And I have thought, perhaps most acutely, of my wife and three remarkable daughters. I've believed it vital to understand, with them, that though defeat may at times come, it is crucial not to surrender to the loud and the vitriolic and the angry — just because they are loud and vitriolic and angry. Recalling the old Methodist hymn that commands us "not to be afraid to defend the weak because of the anger of the strong," nor "afraid to defend the poor because of the anger of the rich." So I have sought not to yield. The Board's decision, of course, changes that.

To my faculty colleagues, who have here created a distinctive culture of engaged, student-centered teaching and research, I will remember your strong and steadfast support until the end of my days.

To those staff members and alumni of this accomplished and heartening community, who have struggled to make the William & Mary of the future worthy of its distinctive past, I regret that I will no longer be part of that uplifting cause. But I have little doubt where the course of history lies.

And, finally, to the life-changing and soul-inspiring students of the College, the largest surprise of my professional life, those who have created in me a surpassing faith not only in an institution, but in a generation, I have not words to touch my affections. My belief in your promise has been the central and defining focus of my presidency. The too-quick ending of our work together is among the most profound and wrenching disappointments in my life. Your support, particularly of the past few weeks and days, will remain the strongest balm I've known. I am confident of the triumphs and contributions the future holds for women and men of such power and commitment.

I add only that, on Sunday, the Board of Visitors offered both my wife and me substantial economic incentives if we would agree "not to characterize [the non-renewal decision] as based on ideological grounds" or make any other statement about my departure without their approval. Some members may have intended this as a gesture of generosity to ease my transition. But the stipulation of censorship made it seem like something else entirely. We, of course, rejected the offer. It would have required that I make statements I believe to be untrue and that I believe most would find non-credible. I've said before that the values of the College are not for sale. Neither are ours.

Mine, to be sure, has not been a perfect presidency. I have sometimes moved too swiftly, and perhaps paid insufficient attention to the processes and practices of a strong and complex university. A wiser leader would likely have done otherwise. But I have believed, and attempted to explain, from even before my arrival on the campus, that an emboldened future for the College of William & Mary requires wider horizons, more fully opened doors, a broader membership, and a more engaging clash of perspectives than the sometimes narrowed gauges of the past have allowed. I step down today believing it still.

I have also hoped that this noble College might one day claim not only Thomas Jefferson's pedigree, but his political philosophy as well. It was Jefferson who argued for a "wall of separation between church and state" — putting all religious sects "on an equal footing." He expressly rejected the claim that speech should be suppressed because "it might influence others to do evil," insisting instead that "we have nothing to fear from the demoralizing reasonings of some if others are left free to demonstrate their errors." And he averred powerfully that "worth and genius" should "be sought from every condition" of society.

The College of William & Mary is a singular place of invention, rigor, commitment, character, and heart. I have been proud that even in a short term we have engaged a marvelous new Chancellor, successfully concluded a hugely-promising capital campaign, secured surprising support for a cutting-edge school of education and other essential physical facilities, seen the most vibrant applicant pools in our history, fostered path-breaking achievements in undergraduate research, more potently internationalized our programs and opportunities, led the nation in an explosion of civic engagement, invigorated the fruitful marriage of athletics and academics, lifted the salaries of our lowest-paid employees, and even hosted a queen. None of this compares, though, to the magic and the inspiration of the people — young and older — who Glenn and I have come to know here. You will remain always and forever at the center of our hearts.

Go Tribe. And hark upon the gale.

Gene Nichol

Statement [William & Mary]
William & Mary President Resigns [Wash Post]
"It Threatened The Commonwealth" [Federal News Radio]