Universal Studios Theme Park Engages in Class Warfare With VIP Tickets

Waiting in line is enraging. Seeing people skip the line because they're rich, famous and/or Justin Bieber is even more enraging. It is probably the single most important reason why I want to become rich, famous and/or Justin Bieber: so I can skip the line (while releasing massive farts as punishment to the masses for… » 6/10/13 1:45pm 6/10/13 1:45pm

Celebrities at Coachella Should Be Forced to Poop in Public

Imagine, for a sweet, fleeting moment, that you're a Very Important Person at Coachella. Maybe you're Lindsay Lohan or Audrina Patridge and you've had one Luna bar too many. Now you feel an urgency, which, since you're a VERY IMPORTANT PERSON, should mean that you get to stroll off to a quiet little water closet that… » 4/16/13 12:00pm 4/16/13 12:00pm