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New York, 7:02 AM
Sat Nov 21
67 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of sequined sequined
    11/20/09

    In reply to What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs?
    The assumption that Fiqah wouldn't have felt uncomfortable or harassed if she'd found the police officer attractive is interesting, and I think it merits some discussion.

    Literally within the last hour I told a friend of mine, only semi-jokingly, that I tolerate more creepster-level flirtation from guys I find hot than from guys I don't.

    And I wonder if in some ways that makes me complicit in our societal acceptance of this kind of behavior toward women.

    On the other hand, no one seems cute when he's intimidating me and using his power to assert his control over me and my body. So it's also possible that perception of a guy as attractive hinges on my feeling okay being around him, and not being threatened by it.

    On the other other hand, sometimes the element of danger is itself attractive. So what are our responsibilities, as individuals and as a society, to solve these problems and to address these problematic (but complicated and possibly not always completely untrue) assumptions?
     Reply
    sequined was starred sequined was unstarred
    Image of Hana Maru Hana Maru
    11/20/09

    @sequined: Well, wanted attention is wanted attention, you know? If a guy won't accept your negative body language or words(which creeps tend not to do) that's scary. If you're into him, it's an entirely different thing.

    I don't know exactly what you mean by "creepster-level flirtation from [hot] guys" Isn't it the part where they try to push past our discomfort what makes their behavior creepy?

    At any rate, I think the responsibility rests on men to respect and not objectify or attack us since they have more physical and social power. I don't think you're at fault for perpetuating rapey behaviors.
     Reply
    Hana Maru was starred Hana Maru was unstarred
    Image of girl.of.your.dreams girl.of.your.dreams
    11/20/09

    In reply to What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs?
    First of all, thanks for the really thoughtful analysis, Latoya.

    I watched all the videos, and the hip hop stuff really struck a chord with me. I've been a fan since I was a teenager, and will remain a fan, but this really reminds me how important it is to pay attention to the attitudes reflected in the music I listen to. When I was in high school, everyone was listening to Snoop. The girls I knew (myself included) liked it as much as the boys, but I remember feeling really uncomfortable hearing my boyfriend and male friends singing along to things like "Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks." You can like the beats and the style, but you can't ignore the message. And that message is really insidious to young women.

    This is not an indictment of all the positive hip hop out there, which gives you beats and style without a heavy dose of misogyny. But it does remind me to listen a little harder.
     Reply
    girl.of.your.dreams was starred girl.of.your.dreams was unstarred
    Image of Flackette Goes Retro Flackette Goes Retro
    11/20/09

    In reply to What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs?
    I work at the University of Kentucky, and Green Dot has been an amazing success story. The Violence Intervention and Prevention Center, which runs the program on campus, does some great work. They even brought in Michael Kimmel to talk about the shared responsibility of both genders in stopping violence (e.g. just because a man isn't *personally* raping someone doesn't mean he can abdicate all responsibility for creating a safe climate on campus). The program is in 20 states and on 35 campuses so far.

    If you'd like to read more, the program is going into high schools next year, with a $2 million CDC grant to back it. The grant will allow investigators to actually establish the efficacy of the program in creating attitude change and reducing acts of violence:

    [uknow.uky.edu]

    and

    [www.newswise.com]
     Reply
    Edited by Flackette Goes Retro at 11/20/09 5:13 PM Flackette Goes Retro was starred Flackette Goes Retro was unstarred
    Image of madeofawesome madeofawesome
    11/20/09

    @Flackette Goes Retro: I am in awe, because I love your comments and there's a possibility I might have actually met you and not known it.

    /creeper
     Reply
    Flackette Goes Retro promoted this comment madeofawesome was starred madeofawesome was unstarred
    Image of Flackette Goes Retro Flackette Goes Retro
    11/20/09

    @madeofawesome: I'm just a desk jockey, and not directly involved with Green Dot except through the university administration angle (I'm just a big fan of the program who has had a chance to do some work with them). But do feel free to private message me if you'd like to establish whether we've met :-)
     Reply
    Flackette Goes Retro was starred Flackette Goes Retro was unstarred
    Image of Zombie Ms. Skittles Zombie Ms. Skittles
    11/20/09

    In reply to What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs?
    By the way, thanks for that link to the FSFWiki. I'd never seen it and a perusal of the Open Source Boob Project has landed me a new internet crush.
     Reply
    Zombie Ms. Skittles was starred Zombie Ms. Skittles was unstarred
    Image of clevernamehere clevernamehere
    11/20/09

    In reply to What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs?
    As much as I appreciate this article, rather read a piece that actually looks at how programs are defining "high risk" and "rape" than one that just questions how they are defining these terms.

    A quick google scholar search of John D. Foubert brought up 950 articles. This one seems to give a pretty good overview of what these programs aim to do and why they focus on some groups more than others. [publications.naspa.org]

    These are programs people make money off of, but them seem pretty solid. Most college speakers make money anyway.

    I can't find a link to his program, but I did find this one [www.jacksonkatz.com] for people who want to check out the training.
     Reply
    clevernamehere was starred clevernamehere was unstarred
    Image of IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
    11/20/09

    In reply to What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs?
    We had a quick seminar on rape when I went for college orientation. The two things that I remember most are the (female) officer telling us that if we report rape to a female officer she will be less sympathetic and more judgemental than a man and that even if you have a lot of evidence there is only a small chance of the rapist getting into trouble. There was a lot of "Watch your drink and don't be a whore" and absolutely no "Hey guys, don't rape people".
     Reply
    IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel was starred IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel was unstarred
    Image of madeofawesome madeofawesome
    11/20/09

    @IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel: ...I don't know any female officers who would not be sympathetic to a rape victim. She had separate issues and it's unfair that she pushed them on young women and men.
     Reply
    IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel promoted this comment madeofawesome was starred madeofawesome was unstarred
    Image of rodmanstreet rodmanstreet
    11/20/09

    In reply to What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs?
    Back when I was an RA, I can't tell you how many hours I spent banging my head against the wall over the sexual assault prevention programs. So often the whole thing would end up sounding like, "You're gonna get raped; don't wear a skirt." Sort of like, "It's gonna rain, don't wear sandals." Like assault was just inevitable. No one ever said, "Hey, dudes, don't roofie your dates!"

    In fact, the woman who did the assault talk spent fifteen minutes talking about which over the counter medications could be used like a roofie (she specifically talked about NyQuil). Then the next presenter was from the health center, and he handed out a baggie of sample medications... including NyQuil. ...and the whole back row of frat boys high fived.
     Reply
    rodmanstreet was starred rodmanstreet was unstarred
    Image of Ms. Take Ms. Take
    11/20/09

    @rodmanstreet: ugh, that's pretty much how my experience went, too. and i tried so hard to get the administration to change their system and actually teach men how to not rape people.

    of course women should take measures to protect their own safety, but this type of approach seems like victim blaming before the woman is made to be a victim.
     Reply
    JessickerFletcher promoted this comment Ms. Take was starred Ms. Take was unstarred
    Image of Cerridwen Cerridwen
    11/20/09

    @rodmanstreet: You have got to be effing kidding me.
     Reply
    Cerridwen was starred Cerridwen was unstarred
    Image of boxspelunker boxspelunker
    11/20/09

    @rodmanstreet: My stomach dropped at the last sentence you wrote. I kinda want to cry. That's really scary. They were probably just doing it as a joke, but... I don't know. I'm all wigged out now.
     Reply
    boxspelunker was starred boxspelunker was unstarred
    Image of EsmereldaFitzmonster EsmereldaFitzmonster
    11/20/09

    In reply to What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs?
    Is it just me, or is the placement of the "n't" in "shouldn't" on that poster a bit problematic? At first glance, it looks like it says "should."
     Reply
    EsmereldaFitzmonster was starred EsmereldaFitzmonster was unstarred
    Image of sequined sequined
    11/17/09

    In reply to A Thousand Words
    It's a little early in my day for me to be tearing up at Gettypics.

    How gut wrenching. #guatemalaviolenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    sequined was starred sequined was unstarred
    Image of Kivrin Kivrin
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sign Of The Cross
    Damn, I had never even heard of this before, but there's a Wikipedia article about it: [en.wikipedia.org] #hemicicloajuarez
     Reply
    Kivrin was starred Kivrin was unstarred
    Image of fluxus flucker fluxus flucker
    11/11/09

    @Kivrin: This travesty has been going on for a too long. Its been sort of in and out of the news. I believe that J Lo was in a film based on some of the events but it got bad reviews so I'm not sure that it was seen by many people.
     Reply
    Kivrin promoted this comment Edited by fluxus flucker at 11/11/09 4:37 PM fluxus flucker was starred fluxus flucker was unstarred
    Image of AndPreciousLittleofThat AndPreciousLittleofThat
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sign Of The Cross
    Look, Pope...can I call you Benny? Everybody likes Lady Gaga these days, but don't feel like you've got to compete. #hemicicloajuarez
     Reply
    AndPreciousLittleofThat was starred AndPreciousLittleofThat was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    11/11/09

    In reply to The Killer Inside Me: Sex, Death & Sadism
    The one concept that I haven't really seen addressed here is that in the book since we are seeing everything from the perspective of the psychopathic killer, it is hard to separate what he imagines the woman feels versus what he hopes she feels. Isn't he really an unreliable narrator? I haven't read the book in awhile. I'll have to drag it out again and reread that part.

    Also loved the film version of "The Grifters". Never saw "The Getaway" so I can't compare, but the The Grifters was a masterpiece. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of Cerridwen Cerridwen
    11/10/09

    In reply to The Killer Inside Me: Sex, Death & Sadism
    You know what is even grosser than the trailer itself? The fact that this trailer keeps showing up on certain sites devoted to nothing but the objectification of "hot" celebrity women's bodies in the context of "Oh, look at Jessica Alba's bare ass! Isn't she so hot?!" If that isn't the sexualization and glorification of violence against women, I don't know what is. I'm beginning to think that the reaction to the film may be even more telling than the film itself. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    Cerridwen was starred Cerridwen was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    11/10/09

    In reply to The Killer Inside Me: Sex, Death & Sadism
    Rural America - scary as hell since (at least) 1952.

    I don't mind horror movies either, but this one crosses a line. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of ucelluccia ucelluccia
    11/11/09

    @BettyCrocker: As does your comment demeaning rural America.

    Signed,

    A proud Okie #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    ucelluccia was starred ucelluccia was unstarred
    Image of Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
    11/10/09

    In reply to The Killer Inside Me: Sex, Death & Sadism
    It seems to me that it will be "good" in an Irreversible sort of way. (ie, extremely disturbing but unlike any other film experience to date).
    That's giving it a lot of credit though. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was starred Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was unstarred
    Image of curiousgeorgiana curiousgeorgiana
    11/10/09

    @Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: Oh god, Irreversible. I will never, never forget that film. Horrific. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    curiousgeorgiana was starred curiousgeorgiana was unstarred
    Image of geeurock geeurock
    11/10/09

    @Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: Sometimes I still see the club scene playing on the back of my eyeballs. Just little flashes. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. promoted this comment geeurock was starred geeurock was unstarred
    Image of Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
    11/10/09

    @geeurock: It is so difficult to describe that film because I can't say it was "good" and I can't recommend it and I can't say it is my FAVORITE film, but it affected me more than any other film I have ever witnessed. The club scene, the disorientation, the way it was shot, everything. There is nothing else like it. Period. Thus my problem. I usually describe it as awesome (the true definition of the word) Terrible and beautiful all rolled into one. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was starred Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was unstarred
    Image of Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
    11/10/09

    @curiousgeorgiana: Yes, it was horrific and I feel like I am better for having seen it but I would never ever want to see it again. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was starred Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was unstarred
    Image of geeurock geeurock
    11/10/09

    @Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: Its funny because everything after the first fifteen minutes is like aloe vera on a sunburn. #violenceagainstwomen
     Reply
    geeurock was starred geeurock was unstarred
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