Jezebel: vintage ads

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:40:00 EDT

Pop quiz! Is this an ad for: A) Animal crackers B) A parenting guide C) Laxatives ?
(Click the picture for the answer!) [BoingBoing]

The answer is: Laxatives!

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:40:00 EDT

A reader sent us this Victorian postcard, and we sorta love it. An elegantly dressed, wasp-waisted, buttoned-up young lady is being approached by a stork carrying a baby — and she is trying to fend off the bird with her parasol. The copy reads: "And The Villain Still Pursues Her." Le plus ça change and all that.

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:20:00 EDT

Click to enlarge this 1965 cosmetics ad which begins, "If Eve had worn Aziza, she wouldn't have needed an apple." Because seriously, if you're pretty there's no need to be smart. Duh. [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies

Maria — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:45:00 EDT

In the era of the Vietnam War, boys didn't need too much motivation to not want to go to war; not getting killed seemed like a good enough reason! However, The Draft Resistance decided to give young men even more reason to not want to fulfill their draft duties by dangling a bunch of super hot, leggy hippie chicks in fashionable hats in front of them and saying, basically, "these girls will have sex with you if you avoid the draft." Sex sells, of course, but is using hot girls to sell the idea of avoiding war hippie sexism or just a cheeky way to promote a good cause? (Click the picture to see the full poster) [Vintage Ads]

Vintage poster from Vintage Ads.

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:30:00 EDT

Do yourself a favor and click to enlarge this vintage Lane Bryant ad. Where else do you think "charming Chubby-sized clothes" come from? Teens over a size 10, yes TEN, can find 10 ½, 12 ½, 14½ and 16½. Chubbier than that? You're out of luck. [And I Am Not Lyin]

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 16:20:00 EDT

As seen in these vintage ads, Levis have been around for a while, but when marketed for women they were "for leisure." You know, standing around, deciding where to picnic, that type of thing. When marketed to men, they were "for action." Lassoing fillies, bronco-busting and the like. And later still, they came in stripes for men, which one particular woman found extremely interesting. (Click picture for full-sized view.) [Vintage Ads, Vintage Ads]

"A real man doesn't care about sterility."

"These jeans are too awkward to sit in. How about we picnic standing up?"

Seriously, what is she doing? What is she looking at? Can she see something we can't?

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Thu, 15 May 2008 10:45:00 EDT

"Farewell to the ugly cigarette," reads the copy on this late '70s ad. "Smoke pretty." Because lung cancer and emphysema are gorgeous. The ad also says these are "the newest way to express your love of pretty things." Chicks like flowers! Why else would the box feature Eve drowning in blooms? Wait, are those poppies??? (Click to see larger.) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Mon, 12 May 2008 13:45:00 EDT

Three words: Lisa. Frank. Clothes. Alas, these items are from a decades-old ad and not currently available. (Click picture to see the ad.) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But (Not So) Goodies

Dodai — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Speaking of skin bleaching: this vintage product packaging confidently states, "The lighter you look, the lovelier you look." We haven't come very far. (Click to see the full box.) [Vintage Ads]

VD Is For Everybody

Slut Machine — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:30:00 EDT

You know, we're always so caught up on the negative aspect of STDs that we forget the one sort of beautiful thing — they're so inclusive! Venereal diseases, as the 1969 PSA shown here points out, are for everyone (including, apparently, gurgling little babies). While the ad certainly meant well by attempting to take away some of the stigma of STDs by illustrating that any type of person can contract them, it still is pretty confusing, because nothing is really explained, making it appear as though VD is something that everyone should strive for, rather than avoid.

VD Is For Everybody [YouTube]

Oldies But (Not So) Goodies

Dodai — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:45:00 EDT

"The things women have to put up with," begins this 1950 ad from Heinz. "Most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives, but what can be more agonizing to a sensitive soul than a man's boredom at meals. And yet, lady, there must be a reason. If your cooking and not your conversation is monotonous, that's easily fixed..." Sigh. (Click image to see full ad) [Torontoist]

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:40:00 EDT

"After five, it's Climax and Nyesta...a hint of yes," reads this 1976 ad for slinky dresses. Heh, climax. Check out the way those ladies are eyeing that waiter. Someone's ordering the "catch of the day." (Click to see larger.) [Via '70s Fashion By Taschen]

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 15:40:00 EDT

"Queen rose — you, on your wedding day," reads the copy from a 1955 issue of Brides magazine. Would you look at the width of that skirt. Talk about a carbon footprint. Also available: "The new filmy look for Spring, magnificently interpreted in lace and nylon tulle... And making much of the exciting new longer torso." Exciting! Click the picture for a double dose of retro. [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:40:00 EDT

Did you know that when you're menstruating you're no longer dainty? That's the gist of this vintage Kotex ad. "8 in 10 women of the better classes have adopted it," the copy sniffs. Wow. (Click picture to enlarge.) [Feministing]

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:45:00 EDT

In 1976, in the vein of True Religion or For All Mankind, there was a brand called Jesus Jeans. And the image at left was an actual ad. Lord! Literally! So many questions! Such as: What's with the well-lit bodyhair? The open zipper? The outie? And uh, begging forgiveness, Heavenly Father, cuz maybe this is a sin so close to Easter: But is this a man or a woman? And is this ad being marketed toward men or women? (Click image to enlarge.) [Via 70s Fashion by Taschen]

Oldies But (Not So) Goodies

Dodai — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:40:00 EDT

WARNING: This Tampax ad is not real. It's from a 1972 issue of a French satire magazine called Hara Kiri. The copy translates to "I am like a fish in water," and yes, that is a dead fish dangling from a woman's vagina. Think that's offensive? Wait till you see the Perrier ad (click the picture to view.) [Vintage Ads]

Translation: "After the rape..."

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 13:40:00 EST

Lord only knows what kind of "liquid" is inside the Defender, as seen in this ad from 1965, but whatever it is, it REPELS MAN OR BEAST. Maybe it's Hugh Hefner's new fragrance? [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:45:00 EST

The logic behind this vintage ad is kind of wonky: Lady catches her hubs talking to "a strange woman" who turns out to be a corset salesperson. Affair paranoia diverted! "You see, Spirella lifts instead of squeezes," Mrs. Adams, the Corsetiere explains. And there are X-rays to prove it! Concludes the text: "If you feel and look tired and dragged down all the time, maybe you need a Spirella, too!" Laugh all you want, but today we have Spanx. (Click the picture to see full-sized.) [Vintage Ads]

About Face

Dodai — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 18:40:00 EST

Moms! Do you look at your infant daughter and feel a nagging jealousy over her complexion? You should! At least according to this vintage Ivory Soap ad, asking consumers if they can "compete" with their little girls. And check out the smug expression on that kid. (Click the picture to see the full ad.) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies

Jennifer — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:30:00 EST

"Gettin it together means sharing things with your man like his laughter, his worries, his own special way of 'doin' a thing,' as brother Isaac Hayes puts it. In the world of fashion, the black man has traditionally had his own way of 'doin' a thing,' and even when the rest of the male world went conservative, the black man retained a distinguishing flair and excitement in his dress." Please people, click on the tag to see the full-size, 70's-era ad that this copy accompanied. [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies

dodai — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:45:00 EST

Did you know that PERSPIRATION IS ACID? Yes, it RUINS STOCKINGS. This is why you need to bathe. Preferably with Ivory Snow, according to this old advertisment. Man, alarmist soap ads are the best. Also her nails are probably the problem. Click the picture to see at full-size! [Vintage Ads]

Vintage Ads: Women Can't Drive, And Other Misogynistic Messages

dodai — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:00:00 EST

Today's Daily Mail runs excerpts from a new book, You Mean A Woman Can Open It?: The Woman's Place In The Classic Age Of Advertising which features those oldies but goodies we're oh-so fond of. It's hard to imagine a world in which advertisers actually got away with this stuff: A car ad with a ditzy-looking broad claims an automobile is "for simple driving"; a coffee ad features a wife about to be spanked by her husband for "taking chances on getting flat, stale coffee." And, most disturbing of all, a postage meter ad from 1953 has the headline "Is it always illegal to KILL a woman?" (The copy reads "Husband furious because you've missed the post? The Pitney-Bowes Postage Meter prints the stamp and seals the envelope all in one go.") (These ads may seem outrageous, but have you seen the billboard a concrete company ran recently?)

The following questions come to mind when looking at these ads: Did men really think this way? Did these ads work, meaning did the men and women they were meant for actually buy the message, and the product? Did women viewing these ads feel the sting of embarrassment and anger they prompt from us now? Have we come very far at all, considering the strippers, airheads and disembodied skirts we've got today?

The Outrageously Politically Incorrect Adverts From The Time Equality Forgot [Daily Mail]
Related: Killing Your Wife is the Best Gift You Can Give Yourself This Holiday Season [Shakesville]
Earlier: Aussie Chicken: Finger Strippin' Good
In Australia, The Perfect Woman Is Cold-Hearted & Knows How To Clean
Speechless.

OLDIES BUT GOODIES

Slut Machine — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:30:00 EST

Check out the ad for this product sold in the '70s called Finesse. Essentially, it's a Water Pik for vaginas, to be used as a douche. It also comes with a mini-bidet attachment for external cleaning that has other uses. "Many mothers find it useful with their young children." Ew! We're so glad our moms didn't bathe us with their coochie cleaners when we were little. (Click image to view full version.) [Vintage Ads]

This is a mid-century ad warning women that ...

Slut Machine — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:45:00 EST

This is a mid-century ad warning women that their marriages could go in the crapper if they don't "safeguard their daintiness" by douching—with Lysol! The copy says that Lysol "truly cleanses the vaginal canal even in the presence of mucous matter." Ew. Also, it leaves no "greasy aftereffect." Double ew. But we're glad to know that Lysol has been tough on grease since the '50s. (Click on image to view full-size version.) [Vintage Ads]

Check out the ad for this mid-century "gum ...

Slut Machine — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:45:00 EST

Check out the ad for this mid-century "gum massager" called the Vibra-Finger, for "your personal use." As the name would suggest, it's a vibrating device, with a fake finger attached. And it's intended to massage your "gums," as recommended by the dentist. It's promises to stimulate "gum tissue," increase and improve circulation, and it's supposed to be refreshing. It's also suggested as a "useful gift." And how! (Click on image for larger version.) [Vintage Ads]

We giggled when we saw this tongue-in-cheek ...

Slut Machine — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 11:45:00 EDT

We giggled when we saw this tongue-in-cheek print ad for Winston's cigarettes. With the copy, "It's what's up front that counts," that plays on penis-size, this ad is pretty racy for its time, which we're guessing is from around the early 1960s. (Click on tag for full-size image.) [Sexblo.gs]

Vintage Ad Sells A Better-Tasting Vagina?

Slut Machine — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 17:30:00 EDT

In this ad from 1936, canned-food company Del Monte lets housewives in on the "secret" to putting a smile on their husbands' faces: Pineapple juice! Pineapple juice is thought to be a home remedy for making vaginas (and semen) taste "better", and Del Monte, knowing that the way to a man's heart is through oral, really laid it on thick in the copy of the ad:

If you want to change grouches to grins — give that man of yours Del Monte Pineapple Juice. Cater to his fondness for flavor. Men like the rich, ripe taste of this juice — the definite pineapple flavor it has. They like its freshness—the bracing refreshment it always brings. You'll know how extra good this juice must be!

View the full ad after the jump.

We would just like to add that we eat pineapples for breakfast everyday (and we drink up the juice), so if there are any non-gay fellas reading this, holla at your girlz.
Ad: How Would You Like To Put This Smile On Your Husbands Face? (Dec, 1936) [Modern Mechanix]