Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Speaks For Itself

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:00:00 EST

You want pageantry? You want SEXXXY? At the Victoria's Secret fashion show, you'll get it, along with a touch of Lil' Abner, a jot of Xanadu, and a whole lotta weird - whether you want it or not.

"Mother Nature, she is very sexy, yes?"

"Have you ever heard the expression "kissed by a muse"? Well, that's what I am. I'm a muse."

"Woo-hoo! Col-lege! Yay! Higher Education! Studying stuff rules!"

"This way to Macbeth auditions?"

"Surprise! I'm not really a butterfly, it was a costume! It was me all along! Are you surprised?"

"I'm an allegory for the gold standard. Crossed with a gentleman beetle. Obviously."

Wait, was I not supposed to really cut myself in half? Oh."

Wanna go to the Dog-patch Sadie Hawkins Day dance?

"Seriously? You're sure this is what real elves wear?"

"Bring me my platinum-encrusted dog, a martini straight-up and my house-boy. Now."

"Um, my balloon popped. Could you help me blow it up?"

[Images via Getty]

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Is The Least Sexy Thing On Earth

Sadie — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:30:00 EST

You think you know what sexy is? You have no idea what sexy is. Victoria's Secret will tell you what sexy is! And apparently sexy is...skanky lumberjacks. And skanky gladiators. And skanky Scarlett O'Haras. And skanky...bows. Oh yes, the images from Saturday evening's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at Miami Beach's Fontainebleau Hotel will leave you speechless. And, unless you're currently sporting a cut-crystal thong, apparently deeply unsexy. The full horror, plus commentary, after the jump!

(Click on any image to begin the 11-image gallery)

[Images via Getty]

Jezebel: victoria's secret fashion show

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Speaks For Itself

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Is The Least Sexy Thing On Earth