Kwame Kilpatrick Waves Goodbye to Denver Dreams

Megan — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:30:02 EDT

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, facing perjury charges in one case and assault charges in another, has been ordered to remain in Detroit instead of attending the Democratic convention. He tried to argue that his presence was really important to the Democratic party, but if Obama doesn't feel it's necessary to play nice with John Edwards, it's no surprise that his spokesman denied wanting Kilpatrick around either. [Washington Post]
In other convention news, Hillary Clinton's going to get the opportunity to watch people vote for her Presidential campaign one last time before really, totally turning her delegates over to Obama. [Washington Post]
And while some people I know are against Evan Bayh for VP because of war-mongeriness, others will probably turn against him upon finding out that he'd bring Mark Penn aboard as an adviser. Ugh. [Attackerman, The Atlantic]

Jackson Browne is suing John McCain for copyright infringement for using his song "Running on Empty" in anti-Obama ads. He's not just mad about not getting paid, though — he, too, is an Obamaniac. [LA Times]
John Moore, author of an anti-Bush book, like a number of other prominent Democrats (like Ted Kennedy) and anti-Bush types has found his name on the government's no-fly list. The FBI swears it's not political as though people actually believe that, and Moore says, "I'm stuck with everyone else on this list, wondering, am I someone's political enemy or do I live in a country where the government is just utterly and completely incompetent." Dude, like it can't be both at the same time? [CNN]
Female suicide bombers returned to their regularly scheduled bombing programming earlier than I predicted on Tuesday. [Associated Press]
Victoria Osteen prevailed in the lawsuit filed against her by a supposedly-wronged flight attendant. It might be actual justice, but where's the justice in my loss of Schadenfreude? [Associated Press]
Uncle Pervy might resign, but it might not save him from prosecution. If it doesn't, why wouldn't he just hold stage another coup or something? Like we'd complain? [HuffPo]

Smacked Down, Put That Baby Down

Megan — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:30:00 EDT

Victoria Osteen, wife of megachurch pastor Joel Osteen, is in court today facing a lawsuit that her "on-board temper tantrum caused the [flight attendant Sharon Brown] to lose her religious faith and suffer a flare-up of hemorrhoids." Osteen was reportedly trying to get a spill on her first-class armrest wiped up and elbowed Brown on the way to the cockpit to complain. The Osteens have already paid a $3,000 FAA fine for interfering with a flight crew. [WorldNet Daily, HuffPo]
In other salacious news, the National Enquirer has finally gotten around to posting its pictures of John Edwards' Beverly Hilton romp. Hey, did anyone notice that he's not wearing the same clothes in the pictures they said he was wearing? That's weird, right? [National Enquirer, Glamocracy]

The government came out with almost all of its evidence against Bruce Ivins, the anthrax scientist who killed himself as the FBI were preparing to arrest him. It seems pretty cut and dried — including the part where he misled investigators by telling them the anthrax belonged to an unnamed "other scientist" in the lab. Guess Moe and I were right. [Washington Post]
In China news, President Bush today said that "America stands in firm opposition to China's detention of political dissidents, human rights advocates, and religious activists." Of course, he then said that they'll get to actual freedom through free trade, so it's China-policy-as-usual. [MSNBC]
John McCain seemingly has his own Norman Hsu, as the media investigates Harry Sargeant III's large-dollar bundled from unregistered voters and first-time contributors. Corrections to the story, by the way, are already available. [Washington Post]
A U.S. military tribunal convicted its first person — Osama bin Laden's driver Salim Hamden — of driving bin Laden but not of engaging in terrorism. It apparently means we'll be keeping him in prison for life instead of killing him, and that the military is going to keep on keepin' on with their Alternative-to-Justice Department. [Washington Post]