<![CDATA[Jezebel: variety]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: variety]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/variety http://jezebel.com/tag/variety <![CDATA[Variety: Maddow, Mad Men Influencing Entertainment]]> We scoured Variety's 12th annual Women's Impact Report, which recognizes the 50 female "movers and shakers" in entertainment, and learned Tina Fey may have been too honored this year, January Jones loves sharks, and Rachel Maddow is passionate about alcohol.

Here are some highlights from this year's report:

  • The lead article, "Females Make Inroads Into Conducting," is actually rather depressing. Few women have ever conducted orchestras in the U.S. or abroad. Though a handful of female conductors have been making headway since the '70s, no female conductor has ever been named artistic director of one of the top-tier American orchestras, and less than 12% of orchestras of any size are headed by women in the U.S. In March, Chinese-born conductor Xian Zhang was named musical director of Milan's Giuseppe Verdi Orchestra, becoming Italy's first high-profile female conductor, and in the U.S. women have recently been named artistic director at three smaller regional ensembles: the Reno Philarmonic, the Berkeley Symphony, and the Flagstaff Symphony. "There's still a lot of sexism in this field, though it seems to be changing, albeit slowly," says Atlanta Symphony Orchestra music director Robert Spano. "Apparently, we can have female prime ministers abroad and female secretaries of State, but not female music directors. It's been quite discouraging."

  • It seems Mad Men's January Jones has taken Tracy Jordan's advice to "live every week like it's Shark Week" to heart. She was honored for her work as Oceana's celebrity spokesperson for decimated shark populations. She grew up in landlocked South Dakota and was fascinated by the ocean. "I had shark book and every documentary I could get my hands on. I think they're incredibly beautiful and prehistoric," she says, "Without sharks, there is no ocean life." Jones is filming PSAs for the group and later this month she'll head to D.C. to fight for a bill that would stop finning, the process of removing a shark's fin for food then letting it die a slow death in the ocean. "You already can't bring sharks without fins intact into the Atlantic coast. This (law) would expand to the Pacific, effectively stopping finning in American waters," she says.

  • Maria Bello, who has starred in A History of Violence and ER was honored for her work with the Save Darful Coalition. "In 2003, when the genocide started happening, I thought it was my duty and my right and my privilege as a human being, as a woman living in a democracy, and as a public figure to speak out and use my voice to talk about the injustice," she says, "I found out through being a part of Save Darfur that it is the women and mothers who are transforming and changing the face of the peace process in Darfur and in other countries. We're working on creating a council of women from D.C. and the media and business — real women leaders who can work to promote issues of social justice and be involved from the ground level up."

  • Sigourney Weaver was recognized for her work with The Flea Theater in New York City, an Off Off Broadway theater that produces noncommercial work in a professional atmosphere, and gives young thespians the opportunity to work with established artists in various workshops and productions. "I went to arguably one of the better drama schools in the country (Yale) in the 1970s, and I came out of that school not really knowing very much," Weaver says. "I found that working in Off Off Broadway shows was a real artistic home. I learned on my feet working with new plays and writers; that's where my true training really began."

  • It seemed a little odd that Tina Fey was left off last year's list, but now it seems it was for the best. Did Variety predict that Fey hadn't reached her peak yet, even before the world became aware of a certain Alaska governor? Since Fey's responses to the standard set of questions Variety asks all the women in the report are culled from previous interviews, we'll assume she's been so bombarded with accolades this year that she didn't even bother to respond. The same goes for Kate Winslet, who is recognized for finally winning an Oscar this year. Variety reports that her "career mantra" is "There's more to life than cheeckbones," which is actually just something she told Rolling Stone... in 1998.

  • Alice Ripley won a Tony this year for her performance as Diana, a bipolar wife and mother who undergoes drug and shock therapy in Next to Normal. She says, "The role takes a woman onstage in a musical to a place she has never been, and takes the audience as well." Variety asks about her "philanthropic passion" and she makes a rare admission for an actress: "I don't honestly have the time or energy to support anybody else's cause but my own, which is self-expression. So I guess if I had a cause it would be education."

  • Southland executive producer Ann Biderman says, "I'm just writing about people that I care about... I don't believe in those restrictions that say men are interested in copshows and women are interested in romantic comedies. In [Southland] there's this huge struggle between chaos and control. Those life-and-death stakes will always be intriguing."

  • Many people were shocked that The Hurt Locker, a film about the war in Iraq, was directed by Kathryn Bigelow... a woman. "Of course I find gender typecasting more than a little old-fashioned and dated, but it doesn't bother me," she says. "Honestly, more than anything, I'm happy if people like the film. I've been around long enough to know it doesn't always go that way."

  • Jane Campion, whose latest film Bright Star is about the romance of Fanny Brawne and John Keats says, "I was familiar with Keats, as many people are, as someone from long ago, dusty history, school... You don't really understand it, you don't know much about it. And I was really shocked reading Andrew Motion's Keats biography a few years ago when it came to the love story, because I found it completely compelling — mostly because of the letters from Keats to Fanny. I felt terribly touched with the tragedy and the beauty of that first love; there was something so tender about it for me. That's something I like in this world, tenderness. Something I wanted to share."

  • Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke says she refused to do the sequel New Moon even after the film had the biggest opening weekend for a film by a female director ever. She explains that she's always turned down sequels but, "when Twilight made all this money my agent said, 'Maybe they'll really let you do what you want and give you more time.' I knew Chris Nolan had three years between 'Batman' movies, Jon Favreau had two years between 'Iron Man' movies." However, "Since the kids are not supposed to age they wanted to release the new movie a year to the date of the first. So I would have had less prep time than I had on the first one."

  • Nora Ephron says despite her many successful films including this summer's Julie and Julia she still doubts herself sometimes. "I'd always wanted to have the career of someone like Woody Allen," she says, "but I don't know how he does it. I could never produce multiple films a year every year. Even if they paid me huge amounts of money and let me use all the unfinished scraps I have in my closet."

  • CNN's chief international correspondent Christiane Amanpour will begin hosting her own Sunday news show on the network this month called, Amanpour. "We'll tackle the big issues of our time in terms that are relevant and understandable," she says, adding, "I'm apprehensive, of course... It's completely different for me."

  • When asked about her "leisure pursuits" Rachel Maddow says: "I drink. I'm a hobbyist bartender. I make pre-Prohibition, classic American cocktails."

  • "I think 'nice' is a very effective way to do business and always pays off in the long run," says Andrea Wong, Lifetime's president and CEO. Apparently Wong wasn't following this rule when she poached Project Runway from Bravo, but she explains she wanted the show because it's "the perfect fit for where I wanted to take this network." JoAnn Alfano, the network's executive VP of entertainment says, "Everyone knew the Lifetime name, but we had become so synonymous with victim movies that if a woman was experiencing a bad situation, people would say, 'You sound like a Lifetime movie.' Look, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Changing that perception will take time."

  • In addition to making Joan Holloway and Betty Draper look fabulous on TV, Mad Men costume designer Janie Bryant's work is so popular that "Mad Men style" has crossed over into real life. We've noticed the show's huge influence on women's clothing, but didn't realize it's having an even bigger effect on men's fashion, which usually changes very slowly. Arthur Wayne, director of communications for Brooks Brothers, says menswear is "more evolutionary than revolutionary, but for the last two years we have seen a real shift in men wearing slimmer suits. I think what Janie has done for the show plays right into that." Brooks Brothers made some of the suits worn on screen in season three and Bryant designed a "Mad Men edition" suit for the store. It comes out later this fall and is expected to be a big hit with both men, and women forcing their significant other to dress like Don Draper.

Women's Impact Report '09 [Variety]

Earlier: Variety Honors, Offends Women In Entertainment

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<![CDATA[Suspect Arrested In Serial Killings; Clintons Bet $1,000 That Chelsea Wouldn't Wed]]> • Antwan Maurice Pittman, 31, has been charged with first-degree murder in the death of Taraha Shenice Nicholson, one of the five women police suspect were murdered by a serial killer in Rocky Mount, North Carolina.

Pittman is being held without bail. The women were all African-American and believed to be prostitutes. Police are still investigating the murders of the other four women and three missing women who fit the profile. • The persistent rumors that Chelsea Clinton was getting married in August on Martha's Vineyard obviously weren't true, as it's September and she's not married. The rumors got so bad that at one point the Clintons offered a $1,000 bet to any journalist's source that there would be no wedding. Hillary Clinton's reps issued a statement saying that they were, "sick of this insane environment where nobody bothers to heed the denials of the actual individuals involved and where facts and truth are a distant afterthought... So, if we're all going to be stuck together in this endless unfounded rumor loop through at least 8/29, let's at least make it interesting." There were no takers. • The wife of Yukio Hatoyama, who is expected to be voted Japan's next prime minister later this month, claimed in a book published last year that she rode a UFO to Venus 20 years ago. "While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," said Miyuki Hatoyama. "It was a very beautiful place and it was really green." • Six women have been awarded the $25,000 Jaffe award for emerging women authors including poets Vievee Fancis, Janice Harrington and Heidy Steidlymayer; fiction writers Lori Ostlund and Helen Philips; and nonfiction writer Krista Bremer. • French doctor Pierre Foldes has developed a simple reconstructive procedure for victims of female genital mutilation that removes the painful tissue and reconstructs the clitoris by cutting ligaments to expose the root. "The results are getting better and better," he said . "Seventy two to 75 percent [of patients] are back to normal sexuality after 18 months." He has operated on more than 3,000 women in his hospital in France and is developing a program that would follow up with the women for months, giving them psychological treatment as well. • Though many teen sections in newspapers have been cut for economic reasons, the Yakima Herald-Republic's "Unleashed" section will return this fall due to an agreement with the local school district in Washington State to provide $11,500 to pay a part-time coordinator and student contributors. • Christina Aguilera, Christina Applegate, Maria Bello, Anne Hathaway, January Jones, Sherry Lansing, Sigourney Weaver, and Laura Ziskin will be honored at Variety's Power of Women luncheon on September 24 for the contributions they have made to charitable causes. • A study of nearly 30,000 people in the former Soviet Union found that binge-drinkers, and particularly women, who consumed four or five pints of beer or a bottle of wine in one day were more likely to have a "beer belly" than those who drank the same amount in a week. • The publishers of the New International Version Bible will release a revised edition that will "undo the damage" of an earlier version that tried to be more inclusive by substituting words like "he," "father," and "son" with more gender-neutral terms. Many didn't like the version, which came out in 2005. Wayne Grudem, a Biblical scholar at Phoenix Seminary in Scottsdale, Arizona, says, "I'm delighted to see they have realized the TNIV was simply never going to be accepted by the Christian public who value accuracy in translating the word of God... I'm thankful for their honesty." • To promote the Ultimate Pole Dancing Competition, there are mobile pole-dancing units bicycling around Manhattan today. • On Sunday 71-year-old Dawn Fraser, who won swimming gold medals in three Olympics, fought off and helped capture a man who tried to rob her in her home near Brisbane, Australia. "This guy came out of the gate and grabbed me and I grabbed him by the ear and I kicked him in the groin," she said. "So he had to let me go. He threatened my life and I got really annoyed about that and just grabbed him by the ear and the hair." A male friend made him lie on his stomach until the police came. • Are men really more likely to brag online? MIT researcher Philip Greenspun theorizes that men are more likely than women to participate in behaviors associated with high social status but little practical return, such as bickering over details on Wikipedia or commanding raids in World of Warcraft. • We're not sure if the front page of this newspaper is a "fail" just because it runs a photo of a woman pole dancing under the phrase "Boob bitten, woman busted," or because it also labels pole dancing "fun for the whole family."

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<![CDATA[Inglourious Basterds Is "No Masterpiece" According To Critics]]> Quentin Tarantino's long awaited so-called "masterpiece" Inglourious Basterds opened today at Cannes, and although reviews of the film are varied, most seem to agree that it isn't his best work.

Inglourious Basterds, like many of Tarantino's other films, is an elaborate revenge fantasy, which follows a group of Jewish-American soldiers as they seek out Nazis to murder and mutilate in German-occupied France. With the name lifted from an old, little known Italian film, and inspiration drawn from spaghetti westerns, Tarantino crafts Inglourious Basterds from an interesting hodgepodge of influences, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. Brad Pitt plays the lead as a Tennessee-born hillbilly-turned-soldier who enjoys carving swastikas into every Nazi he encounters. While Pitt is ostensibly the star of the film, Austrian actor Christoph Waltz steals the show with his portrayal of a SS officer nicknamed the "Jew Hunter." Other big names include Dianne Kruger, Mike Myers, Rod Taylor, and Tarantino's personal friend and director of Hostel, Eli Roth. Clocking in at almost three hours, Inglourious Basterds outlives its welcome with most every critic, but some more so than others.

Let's start with the really bad before moving into "just OK" territory. The Guardian compares the film to "some colossal armour-plated turkey from hell":

Quentin Tarantino's cod-WW2 shlocker about a Jewish-American revenge squad intent on killing Nazis in German-occupied France is awful. It is achtung-achtung-ach-mein-Gott atrocious. It isn't funny; it isn't exciting; it isn't a realistic war movie, yet neither is it an entertaining genre spoof or a clever counterfactual wartime yarn. It isn't emotionally involving or deliciously ironic or a brilliant tissue of trash-pop references. Nothing like that. Brad Pitt gives the worst performance of his life, with a permanent smirk as if he's had the left side of his jaw injected with cement, and which he must uncomfortably maintain for long scenes on camera without dialogue.

And those all-important movie allusions are entirely without zing, being to stately stuff such as the wartime German UFA studio, GW Pabst etc, for which Tarantino has no feeling, displaying just a solemn Euro-cinephilia that his heart isn't in. The expression on my face in the auditorium as the lights finally went up was like that of the first-night's audience at Springtime for Hitler. Except that there is no one from Dusseldorf called Rolf to cheer us up.

Telegraph misses the blood-soaked finesse of Tarantino's earlier work:

The problem is that there's not enough roaring or headhunting. Tarantino, one of the most exceptional choreographers of blood-ballet working today, should have wielded a cleaver to whole sections of this 154-minute non-epic. There is far too much yakking, some of it thickly accented and hard to follow, most of it without the rhythmic zing of his best work. The violence – Brad Pitt as one of the Basterds wiggling his finger inside Diana Kruger's wounded leg – comes as a relief. A second plot, in which a Jewish woman whose family was butchered by Nazis organizes a film screening to assassinate Hitler and Goebbels – is more succinctly and powerfully handled.

Variety has a slightly more positive take, but still, not exactly glowing review:

While World War II has probably inspired as much fiction as any other single topic in film history, "Inglourious Basterds" is one of the few to have brazenly altered history to such an extent. Because he carefully sets up the approach at the outset, as well as through his sense of style, Tarantino gets away with it, and is in a position to fine-tune the picture before locking a final cut. Other scenes ripe for pruning are all those featuring Hitler prior to the grand finale, interludes that come off as cartoony, unconvincing and unnecessary.

In a true ensemble picture, Waltz stands head and shoulders above the rest with a lusty performance in the juiciest role. Laurent is appealingly thoughtful and observant as the young lady awaiting her chance, Fassbender cuts a dashing figure, speaks with a wonderfully clipped accent and rather resembles Daniel Day-Lewis here, and Kruger is far more engaging and animated than she's heretofore been in her big international pictures. Pitt clearly enjoys rolling his former moonshine runner's accent around in his mouth, although his performance is overly defined by constantly jutting jaw and furrowed brow. Inferring a measure of self-evaluation by Tarantino, some viewers will take exception to the film's final line, in which Aldo admires his climactic bit of brutal handiwork: "I think this just might be my masterpiece."

The Daily Beast criticizes Tarantino for being too "talky":

Inglourious Basterds fails to be a masterpiece because if you make an epic about a little topic like avenging the Jews, you need some emotion. You need a little bit of soul stuck in with the wit and the cool and the trademark film geek insider references. I don't mean you have to get verklempt. But you want someone to hate a little bit-and someone to root for. You felt something when Thurman, as the pregnant bride in Kill Bill, was shot on her wedding day and her child taken away from her. By the time she killed Bill, you wanted him dead as much as she did.

Masterpieces also need a protagonist to carry the story, or at least one who's visible. The star of this film is really Tarantino, telegraphing us in interviews prior to the film and while we watch it what a masterpiece it is while we search for someone to lead us onscreen. Pitt's energy and hilarious character helps. Waltz is a revelation. Kruger, playing a German actress and double agent named Bridget von Hammersmark gets to hold a cigarette like Marlene Dietrich and speak her native German. But there's no hero, or anti-hero, to give the film traction beyond its series of gorgeously shot, imaginatively written and acted scenes.

And finally, the most positive review, from the BBC, still isn't great:

In the words of Tarantino, it's "the power of cinema bringing down the Third Reich".

Once again, the US director has blurred film genres. Essentially it's western meets war movie, with David Bowie on the soundtrack.

And it becomes positively camp-operatic in parts - particularly in its portrayal of a shrill, semi-hysterical Adolf Hitler and British generals who could have been lifted from 'Allo, 'Allo.

Pitt may get top billing, but he's not the star of the show.

That honour goes to Christoph Waltz, a German TV star who plays SS officer Colonel Hans Landa.

Inglourious Basterds opens August 21st.

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<![CDATA[Is Hollywood Lacking In "Manly" Men?]]> Are there any tough guys left in America? Over on Entertainment Weekly's PopWatch Blog, Mandi Bierly links to a piece in Variety written by Anne Thompson, in which Thompson asks, "Where have the manly movie stars gone?" She claims the Hollywood machine has churned out nothing but boy-men. Johnny Depp? "Fey." Brendan Fraser? "Goofy." Keanu Reeves and Tom Cruise? Just not macho enough! When a studio wants a real manly type, they turn to the UK, Australia or Europe: Christian Bale, Gerard Butler, Hugh Jackman, Ewan Mcregor, Javier Bardem, Jason Statham. [Eric Bana! -Ed.]

Ms. Bierly points out that Ms. Thompson thinks some actors are "seasoning well" (Will Smith, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, George Clooney) but the studios still "outsource" "rugged" roles. But a post over at Sugarbutch Chronicles questions the American vision of "masculinity" itself. Does being "male" mean "strength" and "brawn"?

Just as we would probably dispute any argument which equates femininity with softness or weakness, shouldn't we also pause before believing that a "real" man is brawny and tough? Sugarbutch blog has a video by Sanjay Newton (posted below) examining masculinity in Disney films. These are movies that kids watch over and over; and the "real" men have huge biceps, aren't afraid to fight, and dominate their opponents easily. Male characters who are fat or skinny (and not the brawny ideal) are comic outcasts; male characters who refuse to fight are pathetic.

So instead of wondering where all the "manly" men are, shouldn't we just accept that what it means to be "masculine" is changing? Do you think American actors aren't "macho" enough? Would you rather see rugged, square-jawed imports like Clive Owen instead? (I think I already know the answer to that!)

This Just In: American Actors Not Manly Enough [EW]
U.S. Short On Tough Guy Actors [Variety]
Masculinity Depictions In Disney Films [Sugarbutch Chronicles]
Sexism, Strength and Dominance: Masculinity in Disney Films [You Tube]

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<![CDATA[Variety Honors, Offends Women in Entertainment]]> In the world of film, as in life, women often don’t get the recognition they deserve. So we were excited to read Variety’s Women’s Impact Report ’08, the entertainment trade publication's 11th annual list of the 50 female “movers and shakers” in entertainment. This year the ladies of The View, Diablo Cody, and Erykah Badu made the list, as well as the lesser known producers and executives behind Gossip Girl, The Colbert Report, and The History Channel. We pored over the pages and pages of the report to give you the best/most interesting bits. Those, of course, after the jump.

• “Actresses Earn Music Cred, Acclaim,” the lead article in the report, notes that some Hollywood actresses are crossing over to become moderately successful indie rock musicians. The only women mentioned are Rebecca Pidgeon, Scarlett Johansson, and Zooey Deschanel. They received more critical praise than fellow actor/musicians Russell Crowe and Keanu Reeves, so clearly this was the most important thing to happen to women in entertainment in 2008.

• All the women were asked the same set of questions, including, “If not Hillary, then who?" It’s possible they meant, “If Hillary isn’t going to be the first female president, who will be?” but almost everyone said, “You know, the nominee? Obama?” interpreting the question to mean, “Since you ladies were all automatically supporting the girl, who’s going to get that pretty little vote of yours now?” Charlotte Huggins, a 3-D film producer, wins for best response: "I'm not answering that. ... That is a sexist question."

• The article on Diablo Cody and Ellen Page (both "legends and honorees") points out that “the peculiar gravity of new media holds that all praise is merely prelude to an equal and opposite backlash, and both progressed from sweethearts to punching bags in record time . . .” Cody says “criticism is as useful as praise. I eat it like fuel. I'm the little engine that runs on hate. My productivity spikes when I've got something to prove, and it seems like I always do."

• The article on The View says that, with the recent appearances of Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama, the show has gained some influence as a political forum. Barbara says, "... a lot of women do get their news from it, just as people get their news from Jon Stewart."

• Amy Baer, the new HBO Entertainment president says, "Should we talk about the mock surprise that every male executive had at the surprise success of Sex and the City? ... I believe if you make a good movie, whether it speaks to one quadrant or four quadrants, they go. Iron Man wouldn't have the success it had if women didn't go."

• Alexandra Patsavas oversees the music on Gossip Girl, Mad Men, and Grey’s Anatomy and her song choices are known for drawing attention to bands such as Death Cab for Cutie, Phantom Planet, and the Killers. "I feel like I'm getting away with something all the time," Patsavas says: "Our producers are into really good music these days, and we are putting forward some very obscure and nontraditional choices. And I'm so happy about that."

• Alyssa Finley, is the producer of the award winning video game BioShoc. The author notes that the game, about a plane-crash victim who is attacked by mutants “sounds like the kind of survivalist dystopia normally visited by adolescent boys targeted by the male-dominated gaming industry ...” You may wonder what it’s like to be a female working in the gaming industry, but somehow this doesn’t come up in the article.

• Nancy Dubuc is executive vice president and general manager of the History Channel and has helped make it the second most popular cable network for men (after ESPN) with new shows like Ax Men, Battle 360, and Ice Road Truckers. It would have been interesting to hear her thoughts on why more women don’t watch the History Channel, but that's not addressed.

• Alison Silverman is the head writer and executive producer of The Colbert Report. She won an Emmy for her work as writer-producer of The Daily Show. Her responses to the inane questions Variety asked each woman are: Role model: "Michael Palin." Three things I can't do without: "Lungs, pancreas, skin." If not Hillary, then who? "To paraphrase a great man, 'Some see Hillary as she is and say then who? I dream of Hillarys that never were and say who not?' "

• Stephanie Savage is the writer and executive producer of Gossip Girl. She says, "We're making a magazine show every week and setting the trend." "Teens have a sensational narcissism and genuinely believe that their experiences are unique and can't be explained to adults," explains Savage. "But we forgive them for their mistakes and naivete. I love writing about young people."

• Sharon Sheinwold is an agent whose clients include Jack Black, Jason Segel, Jason Schwartzman, Amy Poehler and Jonah Hill. She signed many of them before they were very famous, and she encourages her clients to write their own material (which paid off for Jason Segal when he wrote Forgetting Sarah Marshall). Her answer to “If not Hillary, then who?” is “Amy Poehler.”

• Karen Baker Landers is an Academy Award winning sound editor who says being a woman interested in "gunshots and big explosions and car chases" has been an issue in her career. "They think, 'Well, yeah, you can do a romantic comedy,'" she says. "Well, I love a nice romantic comedy, and I love something like Ray, a movie I did that was all about sound that made you feel emotional. But I also can sit in a big effects film, a big fight scene, and go nuts and love it ... You don't have to prove it as a man; if you have a good resume, they're not going to question it. But you do have to prove it as a woman."

Women's Impact Report '08 [Variety]

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<![CDATA[ The staggeringly talented Edie Falco has...]]> The staggeringly talented Edie Falco has been cast in a new Showtime series about "an iron-willed Gotham nurse balancing the challenges of an urban hospital and a difficult personal life." Falco is super-psyched about her character, telling Variety, "This character and the writing are truly thrilling." [Variety]

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<![CDATA[Cameron Diaz's Trick In A Box]]> *Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories.
Cameron Diaz is set to flex her vocal chords and, we imagine, Achilles tendons: The Shrek star has signed onto star in The Box, a Ring-like horror film in which she will play "a young woman given a mysterious box by a stranger [and] told that certain things will happen depending on which buttons she presses," reports Variety. In other casting news, Megan Fox has just signed onto appear in the film adaptation of the Toby Young memoir How To Lose Friends And Alienate People. The Angelina Jolie "lookalike" will be playing "a young Hollywood starlet getting her first taste of fame." (What does "fame" taste like? Hard-core drug use and blood-filled vials!)

Cameron Diaz To Star In 'The Box [Variety]
Fox Making 'Friends' For Weide Pic [HollywoodReporter]

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<![CDATA[Mischa Barton Signs Up For 'Marissa Goes To Moscow']]> *Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories.

Hot off (well kinda "hot off") her role as troubled teen Marissa on pop-music heavy The O.C., Mischa Barton has just signed up to play another alienated young music-loving lass, reports Variety. The Barfton (uh, we just made that up for no reason) will be starring in a "coming-of-age drama" directed by Roland Joffe (The Killing Fields) as a lonely American teenager living in Russia who bonds with a local Muscovite over their shared love for the band t.A.T.u. In other female casting news, actress Anna Faris will be starring in an upcoming comedy about "an ex-Playboy bunny who moves into the lamest sorority on campus to help make the girls more popular." Faris playing yet another dumb blonde? Sounds... inspiring!

Mischa Barton To Star In Joffe's 't.A.T.u.' [Variety]
Anna Faris To Play Ex-Playboy Bunny [Variety]
Related: The Ditz Ghetto [NYTimes]

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<![CDATA[Reese Goes Street Urchin; Zooey Goes Running]]> *Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories.

Oscar-winner Reese Witherspoon has just signed on for a remake of the 1930s film Midnight, which concerns "a destitute young woman in Paris who becomes a pawn when a wealthy man tires to get rid of the gigolo wooing his wife" reports Variety. No doubt there'll be some crying in this one, but we're sure Reese will look cute doing it! In other victim-related casting news, the adorable Zooey Deschanel will appear with Mark Wahlberg in M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, in which she'll play the wife of a man "who takes his family on the run when an apocalyptical natural crisis threatens to end civilization." Ooh, crying and screaming in a lead female role? Whatever will they think of next?

Witherspoon To Star In 'Midnight' [Variety]
Deschanel To Star In 'Happening' [Variety]

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<![CDATA[Eva Mendes To Be A Real Screamer]]> *Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories.

Eva Mendes has a new gig! (Besides looking posing seductively at pretty much any party she gets invited to.) The buck-toothed actress (she said it, not us) will be starring in the upcoming film Curve in which she'll play a young woman struggling to survive "when she finds herself at the mercy of a psychopathic killer after taking a detour into the backwoods of a remote area outside New York City." Good to know that owning a healthy set of lungs is still a requirement for leading ladies in Hollywood!

Mendes To Star In 'Curve' [Variety]
Earlier: Jessica Biel To Strip For Stardom, SAG Award

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