The Good:
On the one hand, America's dress reminds one slightly of upholstery chintz. On the other, this retro silhouette is nice on her figure.
Clothing on lower half: check. Hair inching towards reddish: check. This is all very good progress. And the dress is actually cute!
Loving how Vanessa Williams is just embracing some kind of unabashed Orange County Trophy Wife-turned-cougar aesthetic.
Judith Light, of course, has been rocking this look for years. Extra points for the bold stance.
The strapless jersey jumpsuit has maybe five more seconds to go before it's consigned to that chaotic "sale" room in Forever21, but Ana Ortiz looks so comfy and jolly I just can't begrudge anyone the trend.



The Bad:
Even had the royal we not made our displeasure for this absurdly grotesque trend in shodding widely known, Becki Newton's electric number and studded clutch would have earned our disapprobation.



The Ugly:
On the one hand, Mr. Jay Manuel always looks like this. On the other, he always looks awful. Even if according to The Tudors, fitted leather doublets were essentially required in the 16th century at all times that people weren't naked.

Images via Getty

Actress Zoe Saldana was next to Nigel, wearing something shimmery. They were inundated by photographers and video cameras. I'd arrived at 2:45 for the 3pm show; it was 3:35 before two men in black t-shirts and black pants peeled back the protective plastic covering on the mirrored runway. Then: Darkness. The show started. Brazilian music, white bikinis, red retro one-pieces. Lots of red and white, then some green neutrals. Oh, and black models! I especially liked one white suit with a belt of bling; the hideous brown pirate sleeved cover-up that came later, not so much. In any case, if you're the beachy sort who has a swimsuit wardrobe, this show is for you. Gallery below.

Rosa Cha:

Later that night, it was still pouring like crazy, but I was back in midtown for the Patricia Field show at the Edison Ballroom on 47th street. Her line is designed by David Dalrymple, and the scene in the ballroom was less stuffy fashion show and more fabulous downtown party. The music was loud, there was an open bar, and the crowd! It was a mix of club types, celebs and drag queens.
Andre J was there!
Also: The Legendary Lady Bunny! Seen here with an absolutely shocked Vanessa Williams. Also in attendance from Ugly Betty: Ana Ortiz and Judith Light. Project Runway's Jack Mackenroth was in the front row, across from Patricia Field herself, who was never without a drink in her hand.

I arrived at 8:45 for a 9:00 PM show and at ten minutes after 10:00, I thought it would never start. Then Becki Newton, aka Ugly Betty's Amanda walked in and sat next to Jack Mackenroth, and the show started. While the clothes were hit and miss, the presentation — each model headed to a "destination" on stage: A cruise ship, a disco, a funeral, a car race — was pretty cool. Oh, and black models! Gallery below.

David Dalrymple For Patricia Field:

Sunday morning at 11:30 AM, I was back at the Tent for the Tracy Reese show, but there were protesters outside shouting, "DKNY has got to go!" It was sort of early for blood-splattered bunny suits, but I took a picture anyway.

Tracy Reese is one of the few black designers at New York Fashion Week. Sitting in the first seat in the first row — his seat number was A:1:1 — was Andre Leon Talley. Also in the front row: Miss Jay from America's Next Top Model, wearing jeans with elaborately stitched back pockets, Fashion Week prez Fern Mallis, Sanaa Lathan, and some people I couldn't see from where I was sitting, boo. Okay, the clothes: Dreamy, romantic, soft, with sparkle and beading. The trench coats were beautiful, in supersoft-looking fabrics, and there were some dresses with delicate fabric flowers or frothy appliqués that just looked heavenly. Looking at the pictures later, not everything looks as good as it did in person, but I liked the overall feel and mood.

Tracy Reese:

All in all, despite the weather, it was a typical fashion week experience: Lots of standing around waiting, some clothes, some booze, some celebrities. I don't know how the rest of the designers are faring, but I saw diverse runways at all three shows — Tracy Reese has always used Asian, black and white models. We'll see if this first weekend was a sign of things to come or if it all goes downhill from here.

[New York, July 23. Image via Flynet]

The Good:
Hey, remember when Felicity Huffman was nominated for TransAmerica and then at the Oscars everyone was like, "she's every inch the woman tonight!" and, "showing she's a woman!" and "hard to believe she played a transsexual!" ? Yeah, that was annoying.
Kate Walsh: I am sorry to have put you in "Bad" on Thursday, but you left me no choice. I know that's blaming the victim. This is somewhat better, she said severely.
Aw, Swoosie Kurtz just looks like a big ol' bowl of ice cream. You can judge whether that's desirable.
Vanessa Williams = awesome.
Hatcher: Also ice cream-like. I don't love the dress, but I do think Teri looks lovely.
A little Mad Men, a lot nifty, Dana Delany.

The Bad:
I wore something quite like Kimberly McCullough's ensemble two summers ago. But even then I knew it didn't look great.
Sarah Chalke's dress looks like it's backwards. It just does.
I mean, I know elegance isn't exactly Nicollette Sheridan's priority. She seems to be a serious method actor unwilling to depart from the aging-bombshell-cougar thing for even a second.
I know Kristin Chenoweth's all cute and spunky and everything, but her dress looks like a Sweet Charity costume.

[Images via Getty]

[LAX, May 8. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

So like, this site. Do you sometimes feel like it's the only place you can have a frank discussion about...well, basically anything...with numerous other females at the same time? Because I sort of do. It's cliche to point out, but most females' approach to dealing with large packs of other females is to 1. avoid and 2. adopt the "bar bathroom line" approach, whereby everyone sort of drunkenly love bombs one another with support and compliments while they wait for their really drunk friend to finish puking and in the meantime, check on their makeup. Maybe the bar bathroom line is the only place girls are forced to confront their shared agenda, which is to 1. find someone to go home with and 2. avoid the gross spectacle of all those girls trying to find someone to go home with. Yeah yeah yeah, okay, I am exaggerating. A lot. But not, I dunno. I feel this way most of the time I spend participating in collective girl-swarm activities such as shopping, or going to loud bars, or whatever else women do together. (Exercise classes? Yeah, no. But the point holds.) Anyway, so like: I can't help sometimes that I had spent more time camping and selling cookies that I had adamantly not baked at home in the company of other females as a youth because now my idea of a good time is generally drinking and I would in no way ever want to bring a daughter into this world kthanxbai.

Girl Scouts Seeks An Image Makeover [WSJ]
Related (Well not really, but kind of weird) Living Lord Of The Rings At A Girl Scout Camp In New Jersey [Wired]

[New York, NY: March 12. Image via FilmMagic]

• Oscar winner Marion Cotillard has conspiracy theories! She questions the attack on the World Trade Center towers: "We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes. There was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burned for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there (in New York), in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed." Plus! She doubts Neil Armstrong! "Did a man really walk on the moon? I saw plenty of documentaries on it, and I really wondered," she says. "I don't believe all they tell me, that's for sure." [Variety]
  
• Are Britney and Adnan Ghalin dunzo? Did she throw his iPhone into the pool after finding "saucy" texts from another woman? [The Sun]
  
• Jennifer Lopez has indeed, as previously reported, named her twins Max and Emme. A reader points out that those were the names of the kids in the cartoon Dragon Tales. WTF? [CNN, YouTube]
  
• Colin Farrell is hooked on Russian steam baths. "There's something very basic about rubbing honey on your skin and going steaming with a bunch of strange Russian men," he says. Well, it's healthier than drugs and alcohol, for sure. [UPI]

• Jamie Lynn Spears' unborn kid is prolly a boy. Hopefully we won't be named Casey Lynn. [MSNBC]
• A new photography show features the tattoos of Lindsay Lohan. Highbrow! [Page Six]
• Family drama! Atonement star James McAvoy hasn't spoken to his father, James McAvoy Senior, in 21 years. And his 18-year-old half-brother, Donald, is in the clink for stabbing a man eight times. [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell doesn't believe in marriage, for financial reasons. "The truth is that you get married and in a year or two they clean you out! We have contracts with artists that are 120 pages long and last five years. Then you go into marriage with no contract and the laws are a thousand years old." [Mirror]
• Oh, and Simon was offered a million dollar deal to be the "face" of Viagra. His response: "Sorry, but that has to be a fucking insult." [The Sun]
• What??? A plot to kill Mick Jagger??? Oh... In 1969. [USA Today]
• Aussie model Gemma Ward, who was linked to Heath Ledger, says, "He told me to always be a punk and 'stand up for yourself.'" [Sydney Morning Herald]
• One of Paris Hilton's dogs is "mating" with the Yorkie of Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. [Gatecrasher]
• While filming The Other Boleyn Girl, Scarlett Johansson was voted the world's sexiest woman by a men's mag. Some of the crew said she looked more like a grungy teenager; Scarlett heard and "lost her temper." Who could blame her? [UPI]
• Meanwhile, Scarlett is offering herself up on eBay; a night with her is being auctioned off for Oxfam. [Mirror]
• Paris Hilton has been seen hanging out with a "bearded guru." [Mirror]
• The spirit guide blessed a necklace Paris was wearing and then advised her to give it away, so some chick at Urth Cafe was the lucky recipient. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which single-ish A-list actor is back to his old ways since splitting with his wife? He was seen handing off a suspicious-looking vial to a hard-partying TV thesp who is about to hit the big screen." [Gatecrasher]
• Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz is opening a punk-themed unisex beauty parlor in his native Chicago, so everyone can be flatironed into oblivion. Joy! [Rush & Molloy]
• Jason Davis, brother of Mischa Barton's ex, Brandon Davis, was arrested for cocaine possession over the weekend. [TMZ]
• Mark Ronson is DJing Suri Cruises' 2nd birthday party? Seriously? [TMZ]
• Sophie Monk has released a statement: "Benji Madden did not leave me for Paris Hilton." Hmm, we never thought that, but whatever. Also: Paris has a new ring on her "engagement finger," is it from Benji? [People]
• Now that the writers' strike is over, Eva Longoria-Parker is getting back in shape, because apparently the pregnancy rumors stemmed from her gaining weight. Except she is plenty thin! What is wrong with people? [People]
• Prince Harry, back home from Afghanistan: "I wouldn't say I'm a hero. here were two injured guys who came back on the plane with us who were essentially comatose throughout the whole way. One had lost two limbs — a left arm and a right leg — and another guy who was saved by his mate's body being in the way but took shrapnel to the neck. Those are the heroes. Those were guys who had been blown up by a mine that they had no idea about, serving their country, doing a normal patrol." [People]
• Rapper Juvenile is "shocked and devastated" after learning that his 4-year-old daughter, her mother and another child were shot dead in their home in Lawrenceville, GA. [MTV News]
• Miley Cyrus and her dad are on the cover of a magazine called Cowboys & Indians. [ONTD]
• A judge dismissed part of actress Hunter Tylo's lawsuit against her late son's therapist. Her 19-year-old son drowned last October and Tylo sued the therapist, who had counseled the family. [UPI]
• Vanessa Williams and ex-husband Rick Fox were making the rounds Saturday, helping their daughter sell Girl Scout Cookies. [Concrete Loop]
• American Idol reject Robbie Carrico swears his hair is not a wig or weave. "I've been growing this hair for a very long time," Carrico says. Perhaps it's time to cut it off? [People]
• Mariah Carey on the cover of Allure! [The.Life Files]
• Will Ferrell's new flick was a dud at the box office, making a mere $15.3 million. [Reuters]

The Good:
Short and sparkly looks great on Chandra Wilson.
Kate Walsh: Case in point of why I'm crazy for navy.
Jordin Sparks: The girl next door gets all dressed up — and looks great.
America Ferrera is nothing short of picture perfect.

The Bad:
Will someone please tell me what happened to Jurnee Smollett?
Sydney Poitier's dress just looks dated and tired.
Omarosa: Still fired.
Vanessa Williams' dress could have been great.

The Ugly:
I spy with my bionic eye an Erin Fetherston for Target heart tote bag on the arm of CCH Pounder.
Did Christel Khalil wear her saloon girl Halloween costume on the red carpet?

[All photos via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Karl Lagerfeld has designed a lead figurine of himself, to be sold as a limited edition (1,000 units only) for $300 at Paris boutique Colette. Perfect for teaching etiquette, nutrition, and brand-expansion strategy to your Homies! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Agyness Deyn has replaced Drew Barrymore as the face of English designer Giles Deacon's diffusion line, Gold. Anyway, if they were looking for someone less overexposed than Drew Barrymore, they failed. [Vogue UK]
  
• Aw, gender equality! Male models are getting freakishly thin, too. [NY Mag]
  
• Diane von Furstenberg: "Is it clothes that make you glamorous? I don't think so! Glamour is shine, glamour is having an aura, and that is not just about clothes or makeup — I am very often without makeup, and I always look for comfortable clothes. For me, it's important to be who you are, or — even better—to be who you want to be." This doesn't exactly make sense, but at least it seems sincere! [BlackBook]

• The couture shows start in Paris on Monday. And are the suits behind the labels worried about the sucky economy and the fact that, uh, no one can afford couture? Nah, they're just worried it might rain. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Stupid celebrities attending the upcoming couture shows: Ellen Pompeo will be attending Armani "exclusively" (well, excuse us!) and Gossip Girl star Blake Lively is being taken by Vanity Fair to Chanel, Valentino, and Gauliter. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Oh the anticipation, it kills us. A documentary entitled Valentino: The Last Emperor (made by Vanity Fair correspondent Matt Tyrnauer) makes its debut in May at Cannes. [Vogue UK]
• Heidi Klum will be wearing a custom-made John Galliano to the Oscars in February (um, presuming the Oscars actually happen this year), which is somehow supposed to raise awareness for Diet Coke's Heart Truth campaign to educate women about heart disease. Yeah, we don't get it either. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Badgley Mischka are on Martha Stewart today showing bridal looks. Must watch. [Chic Report]
• Okay, not gonna lie: I actually really do want to learn how to get Blake "Serena van der Woodsen" Lively's make-up look. [BellaSugar]
• Barneys New York: Now in Vegas. The store was designed to look a little trashy to, y'know, match the Vegas aesthetic. "There's more glitter here," says Barneys creative director Simon Doonan. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Home Shopping Network is debuting a line of products by Dr. David Watts, which he claims will delay customers' inevitable need for plastic surgery. [WWD, sub req'd]
• American Eagle is starting a line of children's clothing called 77kids, aimed at 2-10-year olds. Just in case you were worried that your kids weren't emblazoned in logos at a young enough age. [WWD, sub req'd]
• It Bag-makers Mulberry just announced that they're going to start doing shoes, also. And today they announced they'll be adding eyewear as well. Way to diffuse the brand, guys. [WWD, 5th item]
• Designer Monique Lhullier's new Bel-Air home is featured on the cover of ELLE Decor this month. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Sass & Bide is doing a diffusion line called Vie that is supposedly reasonably priced. [Okay, note to self: Ask Jen what a "diffusion line" is. Is it like a "bridge" line, only with more particles? -Moe] Pieces range from $63-$260. Your call whether that's reasonably priced or not. [FabSugar]
• Yay for the Gap for making their new CFO a woman. We wish Sabrina Simmons well in her new position. [The Street]
• Vanessa Williams on her retail therapy: "It's much more fun buying shoes at night, after dinner and a few drinks. It just doesn't hurt as much." Note to self: Always get drunk before Prada. [Fashion Week Daily]

The Good:
We're willing to overlook our terror that 14-year old Miley Cyrus looks about 24 since, she's the best-dressed person here. And her vag is covered. And mentioning it is depressing.

You know what else is depressing? We're starting to think that the Jonas Brothers are sorta cute.

Vanessa Williams' outfit isn't exactly perfect (um, metallic boots), but giant sweater coats are great. And so are shamed former Miss Americas who came back with an even more successful music career and TV stint on Ugly Betty.

The Bad:
Apparently Ashley Edner is a 19-year old tween sorta-star. Perhaps her middling fame can be blamed on her unfortunate leggings/goth girl dress combo?

Someone ought to inform Samantha Harris, host of Dancing with the Stars, that it is best to remove your coat before having your photo taken.

Miley's parents Billy Ray and Trish Cyrus: Scary. Trish's eyes look dead. And Billy Ray is wearing leather gloves on the red carpet. Ay.

Mixing silver and gold jewelry is fine. But a gold dress with silver shoes on High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale? Not right.

The Ugly:
Listen, we love Lisa Rinna for her performance as Lynn Echolls on Veronica Mars. Also, during Fashion Week, she told us that she's had big boobies and small boobies and always wants what she doesn't have. And we thought that was kinda hilarious. But we cannot forgive this terrifying leopard print and wide-legged jeans ensemble.

[Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

At this point, we hope that Ms. Conner and Ms. Begue both learn a thing or two from those most notorious of shamed pageant queens and "memoirists": Vanessa Williams and James Frey. Because not only can losing a pageant title can be the ticket to a successful career in pop music and television, making shit up in a non-fiction memoir will get you an even bigger book deal the next time around!

Miss France Keeps Title Despite Photos [Yahoo]

Tara Conner To Write Memoir Of Her Rehab Experience [People]

Related: Fuck The Bullshit: It's Time To Throw James Frey Down

Earlier: Miss New Jersey's Raunchy Photos Revealed At Last

Movies

• Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There: Cate plays one of four Bob Dylans in this avant garde semi-biopic. She's mid-60s Bob — after he went electric but before he became born again. She is playing a dude, and a dude who wasn't always good to women (see Baez, Joan), but since there's no "douche/genius" category, we'll have to go with...Verdict: Ok!
  
• Ruby Dee, American Gangster: Ruby plays gangster Frank Lucas's long suffering mother in this story of a black gangster who corners the Harlem heroin trade in the 70s. She lives off Frank's drug largess despite knowing his cash is ill-gotten. Despite one scene at the end where she slaps her son across the face...Verdict: Doormat
  
• Catherine Keener, Into the Wild: Didn't see it but cribbed this from the NYT
  review: "carefree and careworn" surrogate parental figure to wilderness wanderer hero, Chris. She sounds independent and kooky! Verdict: Ok!
  
• Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone: Ryan plays an alcoholic mother whose child is kidnapped. Hm, going to have to go with...Verdict: Victim
  
• Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton: Emotionally distant powerhouse lawyer orders the death of the title character when she realizes that he might ruin her reputation. She's sort of a doormat when it comes to the whims of the evil corporation Swinton is working for, but I think she's essentially... Verdict: Ok!

Television

• Ellen Burstyn, Mitch Albom's For One More Day: Dead mom/ghost helps her troubled son figure his life out. The wikipedia description says the Burstyn character saved the family with her love. Ew. Sounds like she was kind of...Verdict: Doormat
  
• Debra Messing, The Starter Wife: Her Hollywood hotshot husband leaves her for a Britney (pre K-Fed) doppleganger. At first she falls apart, but then through the support of her friends she falls for a hot homeless dude. Since she only realizes that her life is vapid and overly botoxed when she's dumped, I say...Verdict: Victim
  
• Anna Paquin, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: Paquin plays a 19th century schoolteacher who tries to improve life for Indians on a reservation. Sounds like a tough broad. Verdict: Ok!
  
• Queen Latifah, Life Support: Queen plays a mother who overcomes a crack-addiction to become a positive role model and activist. Probably a little schlocky, but basically...Verdict: Ok!
  
• Vanessa Redgrave, The Fever: Redgrave is a woman gets involved in politics with no previous contact with world events. Down with societal apathy! Verdict: Ok!
  
• Gena Rowlands, What if God Were the Sun?: Quick-witted terminally ill patient helps change another woman's outlook on life. Terminally ill? Ugh. Verdict: Victim
  
• Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty: HBIC at fictional Mode Magazine, Vanessa plays a conniving and immaculately coiffed baddie. Even though she torments adorable Betty, she's pretty much...Verdict: Ok!

  *Caveat: we haven't seen many of these movies/shows, so if our snap judgments are incorrect, holler and let us know!

  Nominations Announced For The 14th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards [SAG Awards]
  Earlier: The Golden Globe Nominees: No Hookers, But Lots Of Victims

• Warning, Project Runway spoilers! Contestants will design for Sarah Jessica Parker and Jon Bon Jovi. One contestant who gets kicked off is HIV-positive. [NY Daily News]
  
• To celebrate Pete Doherty's engagement to another model, Kate Moss got a trim and bangs. [Vogue UK]
  
• Mary-Kate Olsen: "I love how you can totally change your look by changing your shoes. Or maybe you don't look different, and nobody else thinks you look different, but I feel different, anyway." File this one under "shit that sounds better in your head than it does aloud." [Vogue UK]
  
• Model Coco Rocha is going to help save the world will be teaching Irish dance to children in Harlem? The lessons go down Oct. 20 and yeah we are going. [Vogue UK]

• Oy gevalt! For the love of Judy Garland, which evil hotel could this be, this horrid place "where all the top editors stay" in Europe that is both anti-Semitic and hates the gays?! Start snitchin'! [NY Daily News]
• Los Angeles Fashion Week has started. But take heart: no one gives a shit! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Yves Saint Laurent designer Stefano Pilati is designing T-shirts for a charitable cause, which is a really popular thing to do now because people who actually want to donate money to charitable causes don't have enough money to buy handbags and crap like that. Stefano's T-shirt will fund France's Institute for cerebral and medullary disorders. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Vanessa Williams has inked a $20 million deal with Proactiv, because she and Rick Fox are low on cash. And she'll be starting a Proactiv cosmetics line, because the world is low on cosmetic lines. [NY Post]
• American Eagle is trying to reach out and touch some college students. They're setting up some sort of crazy promotion thingy at big state school football games, where they'll be interviewing kids for on-ine videos about how they get ready for a big game (Um, I'm guessing they just drink? And paint themselves their school colors once drunk enough to not care?) and hiring students at the schools they visit to give out $25 gift certificates to fellow students they see wearing American Eagle. Ah, grassroots marketing. [WWD, sub req'd]
• The New York Rangers love Alexander McQueen? [WWD, sub req'd]

Christina Applegate: First down. The Hollywood "Glamour Barbie"-look may be Red Carpet 101, but Applegate wears it well.

Claire Danes: Penalty. Is it just us, or does Claire Danes own one dress in five different colors?

Donna Murphy: Fumble. The woman looks a fool.

Idina Menzel: Interference. Ruining Wicked star Menzel's gorgeous frock is her grumpy face.

Jane Krakowski: Instant replay. This silver lame dress is so... Studio 54.

Marcia Gay Harden: Penalty. No, we don't know what she was thinking.

Naomi Watts: Sacked. Beautiful pregnancy-inflated breasts should not be hidden away in a sheath. The only redeeming part of this whole ensemble is that it is accessorized with Liev Schreiber.

Bill T. Jones: Touchdown. Throwing a Henley-style sweater underneath a tuxedo makes the legendary modern dancer and newly-minted Tony-winner even dreamier than ever. And yes, we know he's gay.

Patti Lupone: Unnecessary roughness. Why do Patti Lupone's clothes always look like they're trying to attack her?

Vanessa Williams: Pass completed. Nice arc, great catch.

Zach Braff: Ejected. With a haircut this bad, Braff deserves to be benched for the entire season.

Carla Gugino: Touchdown. The color! The cut! The hair! The jewels! Gugino is almost a dead-ringer for Marilyn Monroe, who she played on Broadway back in 2004's After The Fall, and makes glamorous — and wearing chartreuse — look easy.